• Just what you always wanted: Heidi Montag has posed for the September issue of Playboy:

Here is the obligatory quote about how classy it is: "There is nudity. It's tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it," says a source. [People]

• Wait, what? Rihanna and Chris Brown requested seats together at the NBA Finals game in Orlando, Florida. Some kind of carefully orchestrated show of support?!?!?! [ET]
• Oh, no: This report states that Rihanna and Chris Brown did not sit together. [Page Six]
• Madonna's adoption appeal: Approved. She's in the process of working out the details and getting Mercy to New York. [BBC News, Daily News, People]
• Kristin Davis says of the Sex And The City sequel: "I haven't read the actual script yet; we're supposed to get it this week." But she says some of the characters known for Manolos and martinis might be feeling the sting of the recession: "I don't think we are totally switching to a new shoe brand, but there are definitely some effects of the economic situation that will be felt, but I don't know if [the consequences will be felt] across the board or specific to certain characters." [WWD]
• Kanye West and Chanel Iman: Seen getting cozy. [Page Six]
• Kanye West is also into Lady GaGa: "I'm into her style. It's hot right now. I mean, I'm a guy - so obviously I'm into her." Guess what? they're going on tour together! [Daily News]
• Kanye West performed for 3,000 teens in his hometown of Chicago at an event for the Kanye West Foundation, a nonprofit working to decrease dropout rates and improve literacy. It was co-founded by Kanye's late mother, who worked in education for years. The kids who got to see Kanye were students who had improved their grades and attendance; Chicago has a 50% dropout rate. [MSNBC]
• Were the Usher divorce reports just a rumor? His wife doesn't seem to know anything about it ,and there's no record of him filing… yet. But also, his wife hasn't spoken to him "in a few days." [TMZ]
• According to this report, Usher hasn't filed for divorce yet, but a clerk with Cobb County Superior Court in Georgia says, "we had a telephone conversation last week with an attorney asking how to file for them." Why the divorce? One source rails: "Tameka is crazy. His mother didn't even go to their wedding because she didn't approve!" [Gatecrasher]
• BREAKING: Anne Hathaway upstaged by raccoon. [Page Six]
• Sonny Bono's widow — Congresswoman Mary Bono — says she "loves and supports Chaz" — meaning Chastity Bono, who is transitioning from female to male. [TMZ]
• Did Chastity Bono's rep want cash for her sex change story? [National Enquirer]
• Even though Kate Winslet said "it's very tempting to have a nanny and live in a gated community," her rep clarifies: "'She has a part-time nanny." [Daily Mail]
• Doug Reinhardt's rep released a statement about his relationship with Paris Hilton, which reads: "Doug refuses to take part of this ridiculous media circus. He wishes Paris and all of her future boyfriends the best of luck." All together now: Oh. Snap. [TMZ]
• Paris Has already moved on, to Madrid Real soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, who is what is technically referred to as a serious hottie. [Page Six]
• This story about a late mortician accused of misusing burial funds is "notable" because the estranged wife of the man, J. Jeffrey Fretti, is named Tamara, and she is the sister of Katie Holmes. [Toledo Blade]
• When it comes to dating someone much older, Evan Rachel Wood, 21, who was with Marilyn Manson, 40, says: "I don't think it works. I think it's a bad idea. I think as long as you learn from it - good or bad experience - it's an experience, and you should take something away from it." Of the new Woody Allen film Whatever Works, Evan says: "I spoke to Larry [David] about it and told him if the relationship went any further sexually I wouldn't have done the movie... That's one of the things that I liked about the relationship in the movie; it never crosses that line or gets creepy." [Daily Express]
• Wow. According to this article, "Before [Jada Pinkett Smith's new show] Hawthorne and HBO's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency debuted a few months ago (starring Jill Scott), it had been 35 years since an African-American woman was the lead in a TV drama." [Newsweek]
• Even though Carrie Prejean has been telling everyone she and her new boobs were offered Playboy, insiders say there was never an offer on the table. Hmm. [Extra]
• A "select band of Los Angeles wordsmiths," Lab Twenty6, has refused to let Peaches Geldof join their discussion group. [The Sun]
• Joy Behar rarely leaves her neighborhood. So what? [NY Mag]
• Eva Mendes got all verklempt while discussing her work with The Art of Elysium, an organization that encourages working actors, artists and musicians to voluntarily dedicate their time and talents to children battling serious medical conditions. Thank God for waterproof mascara," she sniffed. [WWD]
• Katie "Jordan" Price bought a horse, which this paper claims "will ease the pain of her split with hubby Peter Andre." [The Sun]
• Weird: Someone is trying to form a group called New Kids On The Block. So the real New Kids On The Block are suing. [TMZ]
• Singer Nivea Hamilton and model Lauren London are both pregnant by rapper Lil Wayne. For some reason we thought he reproduced when you spilled water on him? [Perez]
• Amy Poehler will star in Lunch Lady, a flick based on a children's graphic novel series — titles include Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians and Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute, both of which are due this summer. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Matt Damon might play Lance Armstrong in a biopic. Do we approve? [Mirror]
• "DJ Jazzy Jeff says his weekend performance in Kansas City was stopped because of censorship, not race." [AP]
• Blind item! "Which very married actor had a flirtatious folly with a gay hairdresser?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Those are two very different communities, but something they both share is love of celebration. My relationship with the gay community is long-standing and loyal, and I love them very much. I consider my music to be very gay, and I love that it is gay." — Lady GaGa on being embraced by the gay and hip-hop "communities." [USA Today]
• "She's just a great, crazy character who is psychologically complex, a textbook sociopath. But she's charming and seemingly sweet, even when she does really bad things. Who wouldn't want to play a character like that?" — Gina Gershon, on playing socialite Pat Allanson in the Lifetime mobie Everything She Ever Wanted. [USA Today]
• "[I] will sometimes hold off on the insulin, which will jack my blood sugar level up to the low 200 range. It's like how a prizefighter will want to go into the ring with his blood sugar levels high. It gives you the stamina of a bull. So, yes, sometimes I will endanger my own life to pleasure a woman." — Bret Michaels. [Perez]
• "Music is about listening not looking. That's why I wore these huge baggy dresses on stage with The Cranberries… I basically had the wrong kind of love and attention around me. I lived six years in a bus with strangers, touring the world with the band, seeing the insides of hotels. I lost touch with my friends. I was lonely all that time. I went nuts I was so lonely. These were days before mobile phones so I had to find a phonebox just to talk to my parents. I lost a lot of my youth." — from a worthwhile interview with Dolores O'Riordan. [Independent]
• Yeah, we played [brother and sister], but at least we're not related in real life! Good God! I thought it would be creepy for him, but it's not." — Evan Rachel Wood on dating former Once and Again costar Shane West. [NY Daily News]
• "Being nice and adorable isn't funny. I enjoyed being a bitch. Everyone does. They are always better written and it's a relief… Then they said, 'Here's this woman director we like, Anne Fletcher. Can she come and meet you?' I met her and within five minutes, she said the word 'vagina,' and I'm like (her voice rising giddily), 'I love her.' " — Sandra Bullock, on why she wanted to do The Proposal. [USA Today]
• "I may never hear that word 'mom.' But being a parent is not about breeding. It's about caring. And it's easy to say, but it's harder to do. When you don't have that title, you flounder and it hurts. But this is the best test of being a parent. And I just have to keep reminding myself I don't care what I get. I care what I give." — Sandra Bullock, on being a stepmom. [USA Today]
• "I get more naked this season than I did last season. We have a really great crew and everyone's really respectful. It's not an issue for me… [But] I work my ass off. I'm very careful about what I eat, and I work out a lot. My costume entails bathing suits, short-shorts and nude scenes, come on! I don't want to be perpetuating the myth that women actually do look exactly like the way they look in magazines and on television through absolutely no effort!" — Anna Paquin on True Blood. [E!]

• The National Enquirer claims that Mel Gibson sat his kids down and informed them that his Russian girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant with his child, and they aren't too happy about it.

• "In late April, Mel gathered his children at the family home in Malibu and broke the news that Oksana is pregnant, and he expects them to accept the baby as a new sibling," said a friend but, "They are quite upset. Even though Mel assured them the pregnancy was unplanned, they're furious with him and say they're going to take steps to protect their inheritance, which they feel is in jeopardy." [The National Enquirer]
• Kate Winslet is suing the U.K. newspaper Daily Mail for £150,000 over an article that claimed she lied about how little she needs to work out to stay in shape. She claims they are guilty of libel because she really doesn't go to the gym. [BBC]
• Sam Mendes and Kevin Spacey are working on the Bridge Project, a British/American action company that will perform the works of Shakespeare and Chekhov on tour. [The Telegraph]
• In an upcoming tell-all book, Lance Armstrong writes that he broke up with fiance Sheryl Crow because she wanted kids. "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids. Yet we're up against her biological clock - that pressure is what cracked it," he said. "Because if somebody wants a child - man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman - so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue." [The Daily Express]
• Fashion designer Jack McCollough needed surgery after Kiefer Sutherland allegedly headbutted him. "Mr. McCollough suffered a broken nose in three places as a result of the assault," his rep said. "He received medical treatment last night after consulting with physicians." A source said McCollough, "had to have his nose reset. It's painful and it felt horrible." [People]
• Dina Lohan is defending her parenting skills, claiming that Ali Lohan doesn't just party with her sister Lindsay all day. "Ali is in a home-schooling program. She has never been pulled out of school," Dina says. "It's the same home-schooling program that Lindsay was in since the tenth grade. It's a wonderful program that many celebrities are enrolled in." [People]
• Sarah Palin supports Carrie Prejean and called her to offer support, according to Miss California's father, William Prejean. Prejean added that he's not gay, contrary to reports, but "The gay and lesbian community has been supportive of Carrie," he says, "Everyone comes up to Carrie and says, 'We may not agree with you, but we respect you for what you say and these individuals do not.' And they're very emphatic. 'Do not represent the gay and lesbian community.' " [E!]
• The Miss California pageant's state directors Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler rallied a group of beauty queens to film a commercial promoting the diversity of California, but Carrie Prejean said she had a "prior personal commitment otherwise she would have been glad to participate." [Fox News]
• Earlier this week Shanna Moakler posed with two other former pageant titleholders, with duct tape over theirs mouths for a pro-gay marriage PSA promoting equal rights and NO on California's Prop 8. Moakler said of the new Miss California diversity ad, "I think it's really important that people understand that though Carrie Prejean is allowed to have her opinions, they don't necessarily coincide with the Miss California Organization." [Perez Hilton]
• The Mexico City premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine was postponed due to swine flu, but now Hugh Jackman Tweets: "I will bring Wolverine to Mexico City on May 26 to provide a moment of fun escapism and a treat for some of the loyal fans of the comic ... My thoughts and prayers have been with all of those that have suffered directly or indirectly from the swine flu in Mexico." [E!]
• A source claims that Natalie Portman is the reason Sean Penn filed for divorce from Robin Wright Penn, and that they're still seeing each other. "She stimulates him in ways no other person has, mentally or professionally," says a source. "There's a lot more there with Natalie than any of the other girls Sean's been with." [Star]
• Random people who live near Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 think that she may have been cheating too. "I heard Kate was getting way too close with her personal trainer, so Jon started cheating," Trisha Berlin, a fellow Pennsylvanian said. Kate has also been linked to her bodyguard, who bloggers call "Mr. Gray." [Star]
• Candy Spelling wrote on the Huffington Post, "I'm not feuding with my daughter [Tori Spelling]. She just doesn't speak to me. And, she's a good marketer." It's not really the best step for a woman who says she wants to finally "mesh" with her daughter. [The Huffington Post]
• David Beckham is denying rumors that he had a dinner date with Hungarian model Mariann Fogarasy. Beckham said: 'Ninety per cent of what is written about us is invented. The last one was this story about the Hungarian model, I have never been out to dinner with this young lady.'I do not flirt with other women - I exist only for Victoria." [The Daily Mail]
• Sacha Baron Cohen bleached his body hair for Bruno and discovered that he is severe allergic to peroxide and required medical treatment. [People]
• Apparently that included bleaching his anal hair. He couldn't sit for days. [TMZ]
• Sienna Miller wrote on The Huffington Post about her trip to the Congo for International Medical Corps. [The Huffington Post]
• Deborah Gibson is trying to get fans to campaign to get her on Dancing With The Stars. She Tweeted: "DWTS won't cast me cuz I did skating show!? I didn't produce it - just on it! Did u guys know that? Start a petition!!!!" [Perez Hilton]
• Whitney Houston is recording a new album. [Perez Hilton]
• John Cleese says alimony payments to his ex-wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger are preventing him from finishing the A Fish Called Wanda musical. II think we've got some very good ideas now but one of the problems is I can't settle down to write it until I've earned enough money to do that because there is no money being paid to me for doing it," he said.
  "Otherwise you lose control of it artistically and I do still have to find £1 million a year in alimony, so I have to earn that before I get started. So I will get down to it when I've done that." [The Daily Mail]
• Did Jaime Hince of The Kills disappear from his tour to spend time with girlfriend Kate Moss? His bandmate was so worried about him she posted an alert on her Facebook page. [The Daily Mail]
• Tori Amos says her new album Abnormally Attracted To Sin is inspired by the financial crisis. She said, "The world has changed completely, it seems, in the past two years. The world that we all knew before, could wake up in feeling safe, ... now it seems that everything has been turned upside down," [Reuters]
• Coldplay drummer Will Champion says of the recent accusations that the band plagiarized Viva La Vida, "It's tough when people accuse you of stealing something when you know that you didn't. So, we accept that it's part of the territory and know it is only for some reason, God only knows why, the successful songs that seem to be the ones that are accused of being stolen. So, you go figure it out." [Rolling Stone]
• Rachel Weisz would like us to know we're mispronouncing her name. "In America everyone says it wrong. It's V-I-C-E. I learned to be polite. I have been here for eight years, but now I am going to start correcting people." [N.Y. Magazine]
• The main lodge at the Soldier Mountain Ski Resort, which is owned by Bruce Willis, will be rebuilt after a March 30 fire. [Yahoo]
• Amy Winehouse is scheduled to perform today at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival, her first appearance in about eight months. [People]
• Gretchen Wilson says she wants to make up with her mother. "As far as I know things are going a lot better with her life than they were previously," said Wilson. "And so I'm thinking that this Mother's Day, we might reconnect." [AP]
• Kendra Wilkinson says her fiancé Hank Baskett will cry at their wedding. "I'm a crier," Wilkinson said. "I laugh. Whenever I feel like crying I'll laugh to overpower it. So I'll be laughing on the way down [the aisle] because I'll see Hank crying," she continued. "I know he'll cry. When I get to him, that's when I'll cry." [E!]
• Christina Applegate is the 2009 Ambassador for Lee National Denim Day to support the fight against breast cancer. [People]
• Jimmy Fallon left the College of St. Rose in Albany in 1995 one semester short of graduation. At commencement this weekend he will receive his diploma and speak at the college. [Yahoo]
• Sex and the City co-star Mario Cantone says of Sarah Jessica Parker's soon-to-be born twin girls, "I'm thrilled for her! She has definitely wanted to have a girl ... She's going to have so much fun bringing the two girls up and teaching them to be young ladies." [People]
• Lane Garrison has been released from rehab. "He stayed at the facility for a couple of hours," says a source. "Because of the work he did as a substance-abuse program leader while he was incarcerated, they said he had already served his time in regards to rehabilitation so it would be redundant considering the work that he had already completed." The courts don't agree, and his has another two to three years of parole left. [ E!]
• Today, after receiving an honorary doctorate of humane and musical letters from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, Dolly Parton said, "Just think, I am Dr. Dolly!" [AP]
• Brody Jenner has confirmed that Kristen Cavallari is joining The Hills, if anyone cares. [ZackTaylor.ca]
• This article about "What happened when a famous rockstar's 'model' daughter threw a strop on set..." is like a 300 world blind item, but it's Friday, and we're too tired to figure out who it is. [The Daily Mail]
• The White Stripes haven't split up and Jack White says new material won't be, "too far off. Maybe next year." [Rolling Stone]
• Paris Hilton is on vacation with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, but she keeps posting pictures of the two making out on Twitter with captions like, "My smooches from a secret island." Warning: close up shots of the two making out at the link. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow has put a session with her personal trainer Tracy Anderson up for auction on eBay to benefit Clear Water Initiative, a charity that provides clean water to poor areas. [The Daily Express]
• Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour is holding a concert at a secret location on May 24 to raise money for the charity Crisis. Fans will be told the location via text message the day before. [The Daily Express]
• Sandra Bullock says since marrying Jesse James in 2005, "I've had to learn a hard lesson in that I'm not allowed to open car doors anymore," Bullock says. "It was so hard for me to allow someone to take care of me. It's not because I can't take care of myself. But Jesse was like, 'Just let me do this.'" [People]
• Daniel Radcliffe has been hanging out with Our Lady J., who the UK papers have called a drag queen. She said, "I have no comment on Daniel, except that we support each other as artists. And I'd like to clarify that I'm not a Dolly-Parton-impersonating drag queen: I am a singing/songwriting/piano-playing woman (of transexual experience, if you must). And I happen to be a very powerful witch, so don't fuck with me fellas!" [Popnography]
• In a recent interview porn star Sasha Grey said she wanted to drape herself in a Palestinian flag, go on The Howard Stern Show and confront the shock jock for being "a closet racist." She claims she was joking, but Howard Stern is insulted that she called him a racist and said, "For the most part, I really don't want to hear a porn star try to prove how intelligent [she is] and her porn is a political statement. I mean, that just sounds absurd to me." He continued, "What a genius. I'm going to sit there and listen to this. Please. Just tell me how much cock you can suck and how far you can swallow a hot dog. That's what I want to know. I mean, really. How dare you?" [Rolling Stone]

• Kiefer Sutherland surrendered to police yesterday for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. He was arrested and charged with a third-degree assault charge. He was photographed and fingerprinted. Then he left. [People]

• This report says Kiefer was not arrested, but received a desk ticket. [TMZ]
• This report says Kiefer was arrested but not jailed and should have a court date in the next few weeks. [Reuters]
• Kiefer looks handsome in spectacles! [Gothamist]
• This paper claims Kiefer Sutherland "strolled" into the police station, "as cool in a crisis as his 24 alter ego." [NY Daily News]
• And! This says Kiefer "meekly" surrendered to cops. [NY Post]
• Uh-oh. Anna Wintour is fucking pissed that the biggest story from the Met ball is Kiefer's headbutt. A source says: "Anna is furious that the Met Gala got upstaged by Kiefer doing something stupid at an after-party that wasn't even part of her event. Now that's all anyone is talking about, not her party. And she is so genuinely fond of Jack, she has supported him and Lazaro for years, she really feels they are part of the future of American fashion. So she's doubly annoyed." DOUBLY ANNOYED. This will not end well. [NY Mag]
• Brooke Shields has told friends that she was indeed "jostled" by Jack McCollough at the Met Gala, but it was "no big deal" and had more to do with her 6-inch heels and a dark and crowded room. In any case, maybe Kiefer thought Jack pushed her?!?! [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan has been taking her 15-year-old sister to parties and a source says: "Dina took Ali out of school and now all she does is hang out with Lindsay — who is back to drinking and partying hard. Ali is now wearing really skimpy outfits, and it's just sad. No one is in control. Where are children's services? Where is Dina?" Is this "source" Michael Lohan??? [Page Six]
• Rihanna had planned to wear thigh high lace-up Louis Vuitton boots to the Met Gala, but Madonna wanted to wear them and "and insisted that nobody else could be seen or photographed in them." Rihanna was fine with it. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse will play the St. Lucia jazz festival tonight, she says, "It also is an honour for me to appear on the same bill as great singers such as Chaka Khan and Patti LaBelle as well great jazz musicians like Monty Alexander and George Duke." And! She loves St. Lucia! "Since I first came to the island, I have been greeted with nothing but kindness and friendship, as well as incredible music and the most beautiful of settings. I have made friends for life and have been inspired by my surroundings. The laid-back lifestyle definitely suits me, it's a home from home with great beaches." Is it too late to catch a flight? [Mirror]
• Paula Abdul has something to say! "I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone that I have never been addicted to or abused drugs in my life," she says. "I have never been drunk." Wait, what?!?!? "I have never entered a rehab or detox treatment center. I spent time hiking, bicycling, doing yoga and enjoying the spa. As anyone who has visited the La Costa Resort knows, it is a luxury hotel, not a rehab facility." Oh. Hmm. But did you tell Ladies Home Journal you went there to kick your pill habit?!?! [E!]
• Megan Fox has something to say! "If you know how to take control of [being a sex symbol], then it can be powerful. But I have no idea how to handle it yet, how to deal with it. I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against — but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've every learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard – but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [People]
• Jon Favreau used his Twitter account to describe Scarlett Johansson's first day in her Black Widow outfit on the set of Iron Man 2: "Scarlett's first day on set in the Black Widow outfit… You've never heard a crew get so quiet so fast." [Mirror]
• Five months after Jennifer Hudson's dude David Otunga proposed to her; she proposed right back with a "architectural and geometric" platinum and diamond men's ring. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston is acting in The Baster — the comedy about a woman whose best friend (Jason Bateman) secretly fathers her child when he swaps her intended artificial insemination sample with his own — and she is also the executive producer. She says of doing double duty: "I'm just exhausted." [USA Today]
• A judge is placing Roman Polanski's case on hold — not throwing it out; the judge said that because "Mr. Polanski doesn't intend to submit himself to the jurisdiction of the court," his motion for dismissal would be denied. [AP]
• Sparkly vampire and same-sex scene god Robert Pattinson has hit No. 1 on USA Today's high scientific Celebrity Heat Index, which measures media exposure. Some schmuck named Brad Pitt is No. 2. [USA Today]
• Sarah Jessica Parker has joined the board of the New York City Ballet and will host the Spring Gala next week, where Samantha Ronson will DJ. [Page Six]
• Again with this story: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "bisexual tattooed rocker." And? [The Star]
• The pastor of Miss California Carrie Prejean would like all you haters to leave her alone. "We are all sinners. Christians aren't perfect," he says. "The pictures are from when she was 17, and they do not disqualify her from being able to share her opinion." [E!]
• "Smitten" Joe Jonas is desperately seeking a "lovenest" for he and girlfriend Camilla Belle to sneak off to, since his brothers always seem to be around. He may wear a purity ring but it certainly sounds like he's thinking some perfectly natural and wonderfully impure thoughts. GET IT. [Contact Music]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is "mulling" over whether to return to the London stage in a production of Chekhov's The Three Sisters. [Daily Mail]
• Meryl Streep on 30 Rock? "I would love to do that yes," she says. "It's an amazing show." Tina Fey: Make it happen. [Mirror]
• Time does "10 Questions With JJ Abrams." I like this one: Q: What is your favorite plot twist of all time? A: The one that comes to mind is the end of Planet of the Apes, when you realize, "Oh my God, he's never getting home because that is home." I just remember seeing that as a kid and I was like, "That's it. My brain just stopped." [Time]
• Lady GaGa's breast popped out during a video shoot. A source says she laughed and said: "You better make sure you airbrush my nipples!" [Gatecrasher]
• Ouch: Sacha Baron Cohen bleached all of his body hair to play Bruno, but "shortly after having the procedure done he felt a burning sensation and it grew steadily worse. It was so severe around a certain part of his anatomy that he couldn't sit down for three days." [Telegraph]
• "Paris [Hilton]: I don't keep a diary..I Google myself." [The Sun]
• A new biography claims Patrick Swayze didn't realize he was sick until it was nearly too late. [Gatecrasher]
• Samantha Morton spent the first 16 years of her life either in care or living in foster homes; now she has a film which will air on TV in the UK — called The Unloved — about a girl who grows up in the system. [Daily Mail]
• Keanu Reeves will star in the Universal Pictures retelling of the classic tale The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which will be titled Jekyll. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ooh, Marisa Tomei and Liv Tyler will star in a psychological thriller called 10A/10B, about the relationship and consequences that result when a culinary perfectionist, portrayed by Tyler, and an actress with a failing career, played by Tomei, become neighbors in a loft apartment building. [Variety]
• "Farrah Fawcett's Friends Prepare To Say Goodbye." Ryan O'Neal says she "stays in bed now" and her treatment has "pretty much ended." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Leonard Nimoy is in the new Star Trek, and now JJ Abrams has also made him a guest-star on Fringe. [USA Today]
• A promoter from Suriname admits that he scammed people into thinking they were paying $53 to see Toni Braxton, when in fact they were watching Braxton impersonator Trina Johnson-Finn sing. [USA Today]
• Lenny Kravitz will tour the UK in July and take a guitar which belonged to Jimi Hendrix with him. [Daily Express]
• Ozzy Osbourne hearts Phil Collins. [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which top model's hubby is hoping some sexy literature will spice up their love life? He recently gave her a graphic tome and asked what she'd be into most." [Gatecrasher]
• "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids… Yet we're up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it. Because if somebody wants a child — man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue." — Lance Armstrong, on why he broke up with Sheryl Crow. [Page Six]
• "I couldn't even pick up a girl until I had a hit song. When that happened, in a club in Argentina, I rang my five best friends and said: 'Get down here, we are all going to get laid.' It was crazy what a hit could do. But I do hide behind my clothes a bit. I am the opposite of a playboy." — Enrique Iglesias. [Daily Mail]
• "There were some locations, that by all rights we were supposed to have access to — in front of certain churches, for instance. But two or three days beforehand we were requested not to shoot there by local officials. I think that church officials gave the word to the local government that they didn't want us filming in certain places." — Ron Howard on shooting Angels & Demons. [WSJ]
• "'My weakness - if you can call it that - was drugs. I took all sorts from a fairly young age, ecstasy and LSD among them. It almost led me to a very long period in jail. I was high on drugs, on one occasion, and threatened to kill one of the older girls I was living with, who had been picking on me." — Samantha Morton. [Daily Mail]
• "It used to be Diane Keaton – she always used to tell me, 'I'm terrible, I'm awful, I can't do it, you should get someone else.' And she was always brilliant. Well, Larry is like this. I'd always been a fan. I asked him to do it, and he said, 'But I can't act! I can only do what I do, I'm not an actor, you'll be disappointed. Those are the ones who can always do it. The ones that tell you how great they are can never do it. When it came time, he did it. And not just the comedy, which I expected, but all the other things which required acting, emotions and being touching." — Woody Allen, on Larry David, who stars in Allen's film, Whatever Works. [Independent]
• "The Hanso Foundation that started the Dharma Initiative hired this guy Valenzetti to basically work on this equation to determine what was the probability of the world ending in the wake of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Valenzetti basically deduced that it was 100 percent within the next 27 years, so the Hanso Foundation started the Dharma Initiative in an effort to try to change the variables in the equation so that mankind wouldn't wipe it itself out." — Lost's Damon Lindelof, on what the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 actually mean. [NY Mag]
• "It's real love. And we will be married forever and ever and ever. I legally changed my name to Pratt. I'm very excited. I thought about my dress for years. I knew everything I wanted. I knew I wanted a strapless, gorgeous, big, flowy, princess, fun, amazing dress, and that's what I had. I wanted it to be really classic but young and fun and fresh. I felt like a princess, and it was perfect. I was just sitting there in my dress, like, 'I am really about to marry the most amazing man, and this is such a great experience.'" — Heidi Montag. [Mirror]
• "It's so mainstream now. When you look at people who are transmitting the news to you on television they all look like they're in porn, the way they're quaffed. It's really crazy. There's this like hyper-grooming thing going on now, men and women. I was never thinking, oh, what an outré thing to do to put a porn actor in a quote-unquote normal movie. I just thought she was interesting." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new flick, The Girlfriend Experience. [WSJ]
• "Well, if I had to be addicted to something, it would be sex!" — Hayden Panettiere. [Page Six]

• Matt Lauer flipped over the handlebars of his bicycle this weekend when a deer ran in front of him. Meredith Viera thought this was hilarious, but Lauer needs surgery for a separated shoulder. [Entertainment Tonight]

• Matt Lauer wasn't on the Today show this morning and co-anchor Meredith Viera said Matt "thinks the deer was hired by the competition." She added, "I hired the deer, but I said, 'Just graze him.' " [People]
• Lance Armstrong suffered a broken collarbone after falling during the first stage of a five-day race in Spain. He's returning to the U.S. so doctors can determine whether he needs further surgery. "I'm miserable. I just need to relax a couple of days and then make a plan," he says. [CNN]
• David Letterman and longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko have gotten married. They have one son together and have been dating for 10 years. [Us]
• Tyrese Gibson is defending Chris Brown again. He says: "Although he appears to be really strong through all of this, it's really taking a toll on his spirit," said Gibson. "People like me and Puff, we're just trying to show him love and keep his spirits up while he's going through all of the heat, and there are a lot people doing the same for Rihanna ... It's really hard for him to focus right now on his music, even though he really wants to ... At the end of the day, I'm not trying to justify it because wrong is wrong, but unfortunately, us as entertainers, we have to grow up on stage with a lot of people looking at us. And a lot of people forget that he's 19, she's only 21." [People]
• Today LeAnn Rimes was pictured kissing her husband, Dean Sheremet, though it was reported last week that she is cheating on him and he is gay. [TMZ]
• Northern Lights, the TV movie LeAnn Rimes starred in with her alleged lover, Eddie Cibrian, was the highest rated Lifetime movie this year. Was it all a publicity stunt? [Perez Hilton]
• M.I.A. complained on her blog that people were saying her babies name is Ickitt. Now the baby's brith certificate reveals it's actually Ikhyd. [TMZ]
• In honor of Bruce Willis' wedding, Ashton Kutcher has Twittered some of his advice on marriage. He writes: "For me it's about relearning that supporting my wife isn't about providing $ and Home, it's about supporting her desires, needs and emotions." Kutcher added: "Greatest lesson in my marriage. Don't try to solve her problems, just listen, love and be supportive. This is the opposite of male nature." [Yahoo]
• Leanne Marshall, says of her former Project Runway co-star's (Kenley Collins) cat throwing, "This should put a clear answer to the question I am most frequently asked, 'Was Kenley really that awful, or was she just edited like that?' " She says: "When she got angry, I knew to keep my distance. Clearly, she needs therapy." [ONTD]
• Jackie Chan is giving up kung fu movies. He says he doesn't like the Rush Hour films, but "they're paying us really well." He says now he "would love to be the Asian Robert De Niro or Dustin Hoffman." [The Mirror]
• Roseanne may be headed back to TV. The show, a family comedy in which Roseanne would play the lead role, has already been pitched to FOX. [Perez Hilton]
• In this riveting video, Hugh Jackman does a bad job parallel parking his car. [TMZ]
• The psychiatrist who allegedly gave Anna Nicole Smith illegal drugs is now involved in her own scandal. Photos of Dr. Khristine Eroshevich snorting what looks like cocaine have surfaced online. [Star]
• Vanessa Regrave, mother of Natasha Richardson, has postponed her performance of The Year of Magical Thinking which was set to start in New York on April 27. [Yahoo]
• With everything the censors do allow on Family Guy it's a little surprising they cut this song, in which Stewie violently kills people who annoy him such as the cast of Entourage and "the girl you date who doesn't get the jokes in Caddyshack. [Entertainment Weekly]
• What is it with these kids? Photos of Joe Jonas pulling his eyes to make fun of Asian features recently surfaced, but while Miley Cyrus immediately apologized about her racists photos, Jonas hasn't said anything. [Socialite Life]
• TMZ doesn't approve of Mischa Barton smoking on the way to the gym. [TMZ]
• Zac Efron won't be kicking off his Sunday shoes. He's pulled out of a remake of the movie Footloose. [NY Magazine]
• Robin Williams' heart surgery was successful and he is currently recovering at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. "Mr. Williams' operation went extremely well and we expect him to make a full recovery," said the hospital's cardiothoracic surgeon A. Marc Gillinov. "A couple of hours after surgery, he was entertaining the medical team and making us all laugh." [E!]
• Mariska Hargitay is returning to work on Law and Order: SVU this week after being treated for a collapsed lung. [ONTD]
• A Steve McQueen biopic is in the works. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Chad Michael Murray told a fan he's getting kicked off One Tree Hill because The CW "wants to save money." He encouraged fans to "start blogging and being pissed off." [The Superficial]
• Ciara is rather flexible in the new video for her song "Love Sex Magic" featuring Justin Timberlake. [Pop Sugar]
• The man who rented the house where the season finale of The Hills was filmed is suing producers because he claims they cause $158,250.07 worth of property damage. [ONTD]
• In this then and now feature, we get to see what the cat who played Mr. Bigglesworth in Austin Powers looks like today. [People]
• Kanye West is on the cover of Complex, though it's a little hard to tell it's him because he was photographed with the same technology used to age Benjamin Button. Kanye is also surprisingly humble. He says: "I would never spaz on MTV the way I did before. I feel like there are people who have given a lot to me and I wasn't appreciative of them. MTV had a major part in making me, so how the hell could I ever come out of my mouth and dis them and just be like the cry-baby-ass bitch over one performance? How the hell is a 29-year-old grown ass man acting like a little bitch and getting all emotional? How spoiled can I get?" Kanye explains that he only acts like an arrogant jerk because, "I'm here to entertain people and to be the one that does the crazy, bold stuff so they can live through me and get their mind off the recession and the war and whatever else is going on in the world." [E!]
• "I always thought I'd be a really good gay guy. I love American Idol. I watch Antiques Roadshowlike crazy. Guys like Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry, Elton John – they're all very bright, with a razor-sharp wit. David Sedaris – who's funnier than David Sedaris? The Saturday Night Livethat I hosted was such a gay-heavy show. But it didn't even cross my mind until after. The family that kept kissing each other – I didn't even think of that as being gay... I remember doing interviews for The Object of My Affection, and people would say, 'What was it like to kiss a guy?' Like it was such a shocking thing. I said, How many times does anyone ask, 'You had to shoot somebody. Was that weird?' I love gay guys. I feel pretty gay. I'm certainly not the most macho guy in the room." - Paul Rudd [World of Wonder]

• Misdemeanor charges against Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright related to a bar fight last summer have been dropped, and video of police using pepper spray and tasers on the actors has been leaked. [AP, TMZ]

• After Sean Penn introduced Josh Brolin at New York Film Critics Circle Awards last night, Brolin said, "Great actor, Sean Penn. Great actor. Not an asshole like Russell Crowe." He also said of the New York Times theater critic Ben Brantley, “I hate that motherf——-. And I don’t think he’s a good writer.” [FOX News]
• Peaches Geldof suggests that Victoria Beckham should mix some casual clothes into her wardrobe. "She looks too done these days, as if she's constantly uncomfortable," says Geldof. [The Sun]
• In other Posh news, Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole says she was "shocked" not to hear from her friend Beckham after allegations broke that her footballer husband Ashley had cheated on her, especially since Posh knows what its like when your football player husband is accused of cheating. [The Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's representatives have denied that the star has the lung condition Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, but author Ian Halperin is so passionate about his claim that Jackson is dying, he's offered to pay for a medical exam to uncover the truth about his health. So now celebrities have to submit to medical testing just to satisfy the public's morbid curiosity? [Daily Express]
• In the new issue of Glamour, Paris Hilton claims that she's only "done it with a couple of people" and that she plays hard to get. Paris also has some profound dating advice: "Nobody wants the fake Prada bag; they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive," explains Paris. [Daily Express]
• Congratulations are in order: Alyssa Milano is engaged to CAA agent David Bugliari. [Us]
• The Bahamas' top health minister said he is "amazed" and "appalled" that mortuary officials leaked the cause of Jett Travolta's death because it is supposed to be confidential. [TMZ]
• Lisa Marie Presley, friend of the Travolta family, has posted on her blog to say now is not the time to bash Scientology. "Whatever medical and or physical condition Jett had, I can tell you first hand that his parents were on a tireless, never ending quest to get and provide him with the absolute best care anyone could ever ask for and need," she writes. [Just Jared]
• We must admit, this clip of Ashton Kutcher talking about his wife Demi Moore on Tyra is sickeningly adorable. Tyra asks what he finds most beautiful about his wife and he says, "the most beautiful quality that she has is just her capacity to give to others," and explains that he realized this while listening to her talk to her daughters on the phone. "The compassion she shares. To me was breathtaking," he says. [Perez Hilton]
• Paula Abdul has been secretly developing a daytime talk show. Speaking coherently always has been Paula's strong suit. [Perez Hilton]
• Amy Winehouse has dropped her appeal in a Norwegian drug case and will accept a fine for marijuana possession in 2007. Winehouse already paid the $428 fine, but she may have wanted to appeal because being found guilty of drug possession could prevent her from getting a U.S. visa. [AP]
• It's not a good day for Amy. She also has one of the most annoying female celebrity voices, according to a new poll. The sexiest celebrity voices are Nigella Lawson and Sean Connery. [The Sun]
• Add Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend to the list of celebrity couples who bickered their way into 2009. The couple was on vacation in Mexico on New Year's eve, and a source says they didn't spend any time together and Charlize was heard shouting about the lights and lack of hot water in their hotel room. [Perez Hilton]
• Is Lily Allen engaged? She returned from her Caribbean vacation with her new 45-year-old boyfriend Jay Jopling wearing two sparkling rings on her engagement finger. We're guessing not, since the multi-millionaire art dealer is only separated, not divorced, from the artist Sam Taylor-Wood. [The Telegraph]
• In other Lily Allen news, she is engaged in a feud with Katy Perry, who called her fat. Now, Lily is firing back via Facebook, threatening to post Katy's phone number online, and joining two anti-Katy Perry groups. If only Brangelina and Jennifer Aniston were mature enough to keep their feud on Facebook, rather than running to Oprah. [ONTD]
• In more Lily Allen gossip than anyone could possibly want, it was revealed today that she lost two dress sizes by "hypno-dieting," taking £300-a-session hypnotherapy sessions that made her give up alcohol and favor low-fat meals. [Daily Mail]
• Brad Pitt may be a surprise presenter at the People's Choice Awards tomorrow, sort of. If he does appear it will be in a pre-taped segment. He and Angelina need to rest up for their appearances at the more prestigious Critics' Choice Awards on Thursday and the Golden Globes on Sunday.[E!]
• Kate Hudson has only well wishes for her ex-boyfriend Lance Armstrong, who she dated over the summer. When asked what she thought about Armstrong's announcement that he's expecting a child in June with girlfriend Anna Hansen, Hudson said, "It's amazing. Congratulations." So revealing! [People]
• Pink says she has no hard feelings toward her ex-husband Carey Hart and plans to stay involved in his life. "I told him that I would give him away at his next wedding," said Pink. [People]
• Carrie Underwood has been dating hockey player Mike Fisher for months, but the story has eluded the tabloids. The relationship was finally exposed when Underwood was spotted by the "Hug Cam" at one of Fisher's games, sitting in a VIP box with his family. [Perez Hilton]
• Anne Hathaway says despite the fact that her recent films Bride Wars and Rachel Getting Married are matrimony-themed, she's never really thought about her own wedding. Why would she? That's the tabloids' job. [People]
• "I wound up looking like a zebra. An orange zebra. And then when it came off, I started, you know, because I'm so pale underneath, I looked like a giraffe with leprosy. And I smelled like nachos and maple syrup the whole time, so it really wasn't a good idea." - Anne Hathaway on the one time she tried a spray tan in real life, like her character in Bride Wars. She says you can spot the fake bake in one of her films - which one could it be? [NY Magazine]

• Did a knock down, drag out fight with Lilo land Samantha Ronson in the hospital for "exhaustion"?

• According to TMZ: "Neighbors tell us [Lindsay and Sam] were going at it for a long time, but it reached a crescendo at around 4:00 AM after one of them screamed at the other, 'You never say you love me.'" [TMZ
• Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna and Stella McCartney had a girls night out in London after Madge handed over her kids to ex-husband Guy Ritchie for the evening. Madge obviously knows that the best break up medicine (besides an affair with A-Rod) is a night out with the ladies. [Daily Mail]
• Lance Armstrong is expecting another child with girlfriend Anna Hansen. He has three children from his first marriage to ex-wife Kristin. [People]
• Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is engaged to NFL player Hank Baskett. The wedding is slated for June 27 at, where else? The Playboy mansion. Initially she wanted ex-sugar daddy Hugh Hefner to give her away, but now Kendra is having second thoughts. [People]
• DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, is taking a page from fellow plane crash survivor Travis Barker and suing a bunch of people. "DJ AM is suing the estates of the two pilots who died in the crash as well as Clay Lacy Aviation, Global Exec Aviation, Inter Travel & Services Inc, Goodyear Tire and Rubber Co, and Learjet." He claims the pilots knew that the tires were shot and attempted to take off anyway. "Damn," says Michael K. of Dlisted. "I can understand suing companies and shit, but suing the estates of the pilots? I wonder if the pilots left behind any kids that need food, clothes and a roof over their heads. It seems a little extreme to try to fuck with the families, but I don't know the details and shit, so I will leave it at that." Word to that entire sentiment. [Dlisted]
• Marisa Tomei, 44, was conspicuously canoodling with Logan Marshall-Green, 32 (otherwise known as "Trey" from the O.C.) at the LA premiere of the Wrestler. You go Marisa! [Page Six]
• Apparently Suri Cruise gets 100 pieces of fan mail a day from all around the world. She is egregiously adorable. [Star]
• Slow gossip day, guys: Page Six reports that Bridget Moynahan uses the same dentist as her estranged baby daddy, Tom Brady. Riveting! [Page Six]
• Scar Jo's snot-filled Kleenex eventually went for $5,300 on eBay. Merry Christmas…sorta. [NYDN]
• Jennifer Hudson will perform a gospel song for her departed mom at the 2009 Grammys. [NYDN]
• Long dead drug kingpin Pablo Escobar loved Elvis, and even played his records when he was in the clink. Jailhouse rock indeed! [Page Six]
• Spencer Pratt keeps running his mouth about Heidi Montag's momma. "I just had visions of her mom trying to kill me in my sleep so I saw that as a possibility," he said at the Hills season finale party. Dear Momma Montag: we hope you have a Spencer-free Christmas and a happy New Year. [ASL]
• Ricky Martin: living la vida loca for 37 years as of today. [Dlisted]
• Though he's making a government salary now, from his Christmas shopping spree at Hermès, it's obvious that Arnold Schwarzenegger used to make the big movie star buckies. [ASL]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are in Aspen for Christmas, and Mariah says she always gets holiday-themed lingerie. “Honestly, I always get Santa lingerie. Even if nobody’s going to see it! I mean, why not? But this year I’m definitely excited because it’ll be appreciated!” Mimi says. Cant'…won't…make this lame joke…sigh. Ho ho ho, Mariah! There. I said it. [Just Jared]
• Poor Ben Stiller has to spend Christmas in a cast. He broke his hand snowboarding over the weekend. [E! Online]

• ...Just like Lance Armstrong, Hitler, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the other dudes with a single testicle.
• But as far as we know, those dudes have bellybuttons, unlike Karolina Kurkova, the no-navel icon.
• She may have a navel, but Lori Drew has no soul.
• Michelle Obama has a soul and, according to an obsessed Salon scribe, a big butt.

• Do vampires like big butts? Maybe we'll find out as Twilight mania takes over the nation.
• Vampires seem rather chivalrous, unlike many modern men, so at least they'd let your big butt in the cab first.
• Speaking of nether regions, one time Carrie Fisher's mom got her a vibrator for Christmas.
• A wrap dress will cover up your business (usually), but is it ever flattering?
• Victoria's Secret fashion show: covering your business in maribou since 1977.
• You guys. Thank effing Gawd it's Friday! So eat, read celebrity gossip on the internet and nap the day away. You deserve it!

Tupac: The rumor is that the ill-fated rapper lost one of his dudes during a 1994 shooting when he took two bullets to the groin. After that, he was called "One-Pac" by many giggly fans, and even with only one ball, Madonna still wanted to have his baby.


Lance Armstrong: In the words of The Cancer Blog, "Now it's having only one testicle that separates the winners from the losers." Lance Armstrong's unparalleled athletic prowess (not to mention his way with certain blonde celebrities) shows that monorchic men can be champions.


Tom Green: Like Lance Armstrong, Tom Green survived about of testicular cancer. And also like Armstrong, Tom Green was not afraid to be servicey about it. After his diagnosis in 2000, Green hosted an MTV show called The Tom Green Cancer Special, in which "a camera crew followed Green into the operating room in March and looked on as surgeons cut into Green's insides, removed a testicle and some lymph nodes, and put his intestines on the table during surgery." How…graphic of him!


Arnold Schwarzenegger: The California Gov allegedly only has one berry next to his twig, according to the internet. Is the alleged missing testicle from his alleged steroid use during Ahnold's body building days? Maybe one day Maria Shriver will tell us the true testicle story on Oprah.


Nazi Leader Hitler Really Did Have Only One Ball [Telegraph]

• Tara Reid looks like she has no longer been ridden hard and put away wet! The former winner of Miss Hot Mess 2002-2007 is dating fashion executive Julien Jarmoune and apparently fending off marriage rumors. A pal of the couple says, "It looks like she's finally gotten her act together!" [E! Online, AHN]
• Someone who has decidedly not gotten her act together: Amy Winehouse. She was spotted stumbling out of a Camden pub at 3:30 this morning, looking a fright. [Daily Mail]
• The Olsen twins are causing dramz in the West Village: their partying habits are bugging the neighbors near the W. 13th Street apartment they're renting for $12,000 a month."Plenty of other celebrities around this block [Sarah Jessica Parker, Liv Tyler, Gisele Bundchen and Julianne Moore] are good neighbors and blend in with the neighborhood - but these two are invaders," a source says. [Page Six]
• One half of the gruesome twosome, Mary Kate, was spotted at fashion week with a new boyf, artist Nate Lowman. [Perez]

• Even too-cool-for-school New Yorkers are gaga over Michael Phelps, who is currently in town to host the season premiere of SNL this weekend. At Blue Ribbon Sushi on Monday, "It was funny to see jaded New Yorkers, who always see celebs around town, act like excited schoolkids," says a witness. "People kept sending over bottles of champagne and sake! Never seen anything like it." [Page Six]
• Daily Show funnyman Rob Corrdry and his wife Sandra are expecting a second daughter! Rob says, "We have a short list of names that we are considering. My 2-year-old (daughter Sloane) is pretty set on the name 'Freeka.' She also likes 'Laurie Berkner,' but that sounds weird in front of Corddry. We may just go with 'Baby the Entertainer' in case she grows up to be a black comedian." [People]
• He said, she said, on their nude scene in the upcoming film The Duchess. Dominic Cooper: "I knew there was a scene in which I had to get naked. It wasn't gratuitous, but still quite overwhelming. There were a series of devices I was offered to wear which protect my [naughty] bits. And I gave Keira the choice in a very gentlemanly way, 'You can chose either the furry soft, the pink diaper or the Spandex." Keira Knightley: "I don't remember choosing. I think he's making that up. Unless I was feeling particularly malicious, I don't think I would have chosen to put a man in a skin-colored diaper. I could have been feeling particularly malicious, however, that's entirely possible." [ People]
• Oooh!! Britney might have a new album ready for Christmas! The plan right now is to release the single in November and then have the LP out in December along with some live shows. Don't pressure the girl, she's just getting her sea legs back! [The Sun]
• Matthew McConaughey: "When I'm lucky enough to be in a place where I don't have to wear a shirt and shoes, I don't." No, really? [People]
• Lynda Carter, aka Wonder Woman, had this to say about Sarah Palin being referred to as "the new Wonder Woman." "Don’t get me started. She’s the anti-Wonder Woman. She’s judgmental and dictatorial, telling people how they’ve got to live their lives. And a superior religious self-righteousness … that’s just not what Wonder Woman is about. Hillary Clinton is a lot more like Wonder Woman than Mrs. Palin. She did it all, didn’t she?" [Philly Mag]
• Um, so apparently, Viggo Mortensen is always being detained by airport security because the favorite tea that he carries with him looks like pot. "And it doesn't help that Mortensen, who grew up in Argentina, drinks his tea with a pipe." That isn't a joke. [Showbiz Spy]
• Ugh, Hugh Grant is such an old skeeze! He was spotted in London hitting on women at a club for 18-22 year-olds. [Perez]
• Oprah is atop the list of Most Generous Stars. Also in the top ten: trumpeter and A&M records co-founder Herb Alpert, Barbra Streisand, Paul Newman, Brangelina, Michael Jordan, Canadian ex-hockey player Eric Lindros, Lance Armstrong, and though it pains us to tell you, Rush Limbaugh, who gave $4.2 million to children of marines and law-enforcement officers killed in the line of duty. [Reuters]
• Queen Latifah on her status as Jenny Craig spokesperson: "If anything, I was worried about alienating my big girls. I didn't want them to think, Hey, she's leaving us. But if I can be an example of loving yourself regardless of what you look like, I can be an example of loving yourself and being healthier." [Reader's Digest]
• Rob Lowe's recent sexual harassment issues with his nanny have been hurting his wallet in more ways than one. “Since the headline that a second nanny sued me for sexual harassment, I have been passed over for at least three commercials, any of which could have ultimately resulted in income of over $1 million," he said. [MSNBC]

• Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to pose topless in Playboy. Since we already saw her nipples in New York magazine, what would be the point? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, there's a truce in the Lohan fam: Michael is actually saying nice things about Dina! And mom, dad and all the kids will allegedly all be together for the final service for Lindsay's grandfather, who died last week. They'll scatter his ashes in a Long Island harbor. [E!]
• You know how Sarah Palin was on the cover of Us? Apparently the magazine "lost thousands of subscribers in the first 24 hours" following the printing of the issue. [MSNBC]

• Lily Allen's suffering from a major hangover and some regret after drunkly swearing on stage at the GQ Awards. Her Facebook status is "dying inside" and she wrote that she "feels like killing" herself, although that part has since been removed. Free champagne is a blessing and a curse. [Daily Mail]
• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively of Gossip Girl: Guest stars on 30 Rock this fall. Apparently Liz Lemon was a mean girl in high school! [EW]
• Heidi Montag: "I'm waiting for my Barbie Doll. That's what I want next." Spencer Pratt: "We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie." That sound you hear: Thunderous hooves, as the Apocalyptic horsemen approach. [Socialite Life]
• Romeo Beckham is The Dark Knight. [The Sun]
• Balthazar Getty and Matthew Rhys, who play brothers on Brothers & Sisters are not speaking to each other, and it's Sienna Miller's fault. Naturally. [E!]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, is moving into her own house in West Hollywood. But! Her beau, Milo Ventimiglia, is upset because he thought they were moving in together. Turns out she's wary of Milo, who keeps talking about marriage. A source says: "She's not even old enough to have a drink, so she's not even thinking about settling down." [Star]
• Whoa, there's a feud between Alec Baldwin and Greg Garcia, the exec producer of My Name Is Earl. Alec can't understand why they'd do a one-hour episode of Earl: You've got to be fucking kidding me," he says. Garcia says Alec sounds like a "psychotic narcissist." [Page Six, Defamer]
• This story about Jennifer Aniston is titled: "Did Brangelina Spoil Jennifer For Other Men?" Here is an actual line from the article: "When it comes to men, Jen’s radar seems hopelessly broken, leaving her prey to the serial-shagger charms of men such as [Paul] Sculfor, who is now cosily loved up with Cameron Diaz, and [John] Mayer, who has been involved with a string of other celebs including Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse ordered 48 bottles of Jack Daniel's. For a weekend gig. [The Sun]
• Kim Kardashian is helping sister Khloe with Celebrity Apprentice. First assignment: Lunch with Omarosa. Uh-oh! [Page Six]
• Tension in New Kids On The Block? Seems like Donnie won't hang out with the other kids or play their reindeer games. [Page Six]
• Richard Branson says, "The best way to reduce your carbon footprint is not to fly at all. But that's not realistic. You can't walk to England." He has a solution, of course: "Fly Virgin. One hundred percent of all profits from all our airlines are reinvested into finding a cleaner fuel solution. We had an experimental 747 that ran on coconut oil… but it took 150,000 coconuts for one flight. So now we're looking at developing fuel from algae. If you fly Virgin, you'll support this cause." [Rush & Molloy]
• Rachel Weisz was voted Hollywood's hottest babe — in a poll of 4,000 lesbians. [The Sun]
• Actor Joe Pantoliano, aka Ralph Cifaretto on the Sopranos, was at the RNC lobbying for his charity, No Kidding, which deals with brain disease. Joey Pants sufferers from clinical depression. [Page Six]
• The court case between Matt LeBlanc and his former business manager has been settled. You can click to see the court papers or think a happy thought about butterflies, and I suggest the latter, because the papers are a yawn. [ET]
• One year after vowing never to perform on the MTV Awards again, Kanye West will close the show's 25th annual ceremony in Hollywood on Sunday. [Reuters]
• Christina Aguilera will also perform at the VMAs. [Daily Star]
• Don't hold your breath for U2's new album: It's been pushed to 2009. Bono says the band has 50 or 60 new songs to consider for inclusion. Decision time. [Reuters]
• The dude who robbed Kiki Dunst's hotel room last August is getting four years in jail. Maybe that's why his MySpace has Jewish prayer music on it? [Gothamist]
• Ciara: Naked on the cover of Vibe magazine. [Concrete Loop]
• Akon performed in South Africa last week and when one of his female fans embraced him, he violently elbowed her off the stage. [Molly Good]
• Anthony Edwards will appear on the final season of ER, but Dr. Mark Greene is not back from the dead: He'll be in flashback scenes. [AP]
• Are you the Gatekeeper? Columbia Pictures is working on a new installment of Ghostbusters. [LA Times]
• An L.A. businessman is suing Gene Simmons over an Indy Racing League deal. [E!]
• "It's going to stop one day. It's not that you fall. It's just one day there are new people, and, you know, the opportunities aren't what they once were. It happens to everybody, man. I prepare for the worst. I think every show I do, I realize I could get booed off the stage and they could throw tomatoes. Hey — Michael Jackson, man. One day you're Vanilla Ice and the next day you're…Vanilla Ice." — Chris Rock on his career. [Page Six]
• "I live in Costa Rica, way off the grid. We live off solar power, with no car, and no telephone. I'm nothing like my character. I'm more into the environment." — Perrey Reeves, aka Entourage's Mrs. Ari Gold. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I didn't really have any expectations. They say it gives you a little more juice for the first year and that's it. It certainly didn't help me get this movie made." — Helen Hunt, on life after winning an Oscar, and her directorial debut, Then She Found Me, in which Salman Rushie has a part as an obstetrician. [Guardian]
• "The corsets were very restrictive. The worst part was after lunch because they don’t help your digestion." — Keira Knightley on burping her way through The Duchess. [The Sun]
• "I don't always love kids. Sometimes I absolutely loathe them. Children are just people who haven't lived very long yet. I'm predisposed to be affectionate if someone’s smaller but if they're loathsome in the first five minutes, they're loathsome.” — Colin Firth. [Daily Express]
• "I had sex if I had the energy. I wasn't one of those guys who believed in the myths about the guy losing his chi. The fact is that if you are riding your bike six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You're just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone and a lower libido. But you know, I never got any complaints." — Lance Armstrong to Men's Journal. [Page Six]

• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have broken up. After three months, "There was no drama or ugliness – They just decided to end things," says a source. "There is no hatred, just sadness." Surely Kate will find someone new in record time? She's good at that, right? [Us Magazine]
• This report says that Kate and Lance had a big fight a week ago and didn't speak to each other for five days. [Page Six]
• Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, the sure-to-be-gorgeous Jolie-Pitt twins, will make their debut in People. The mag won a bidding war and will pay between $10 million and $15 million, which will go to charity. [ONTD]
• That issue of People? Not coming out this week. Soon, we hope. [JustJared]
• Before Shia LaBeouf's car accident Saturday night, he was "pounding shots" and "acting really crazy" at L.A. bar Troubador. And yeah, 23-year-old Isabel Lucas, Shia's Transformers 2 costar, was in the vehicle when it was smashed. [Page Six]
• Oh! Isabel is Adrian Grenier's ex-girlfriend, hmm. [Star]

• How much money will Shia's accident drain from the studio? The daily cost of production can be $200,000 a day… [MSNBC]
• Alicia Keys and Jack White are recording the James Bond theme song. The Quantum of Solace track is called "Another Way To Die." Guess Amy Winehouse couldn't get it together, despite Mark Ronson's attempts. [Yahoo News]
• Amy Winehouse's dad thinks someone spiked her drink with Ecstasy, and that's why she collapsed in a fit and was rushed to the hospital. Apparently she has some unsavory friends? [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of Amy Winehouse, a reporter spent time in the "shambolic squalor" of Amy's home. The piece is really long, but fascinating. Here's a snippet: "Winehouse has been pottering around her house in varying states of consciousness, disappearing every half an hour or so upstairs to her bedroom and returning to talk to me a little about her music, a little about her drugs and a lot about her imprisoned husband. Through it all, she’s an attentive and open hostess, making tea and giving me extra pieces of paper to take notes. Now, thinking about the waiting paparazzi outside, she keeps her eyes fastened on her image in the mirror. 'I could just go out there and say… I don’t know.' Her mouth is slack. 'I don’t know, really.' Winehouse gives her hive one last tease and trots gamely down the stairway. She opens the door and on cue a firestorm of flashbulbs surrounds her, voices crying her name: 'Amy! Amy! Amy!'" [Daily Mail]
• Amy's mom says: "There are a lot of people rooting for her. But I know I could turn on the TV and learn the worst." [Mirror]
• Click this link to see "Amy Winho's Haircleaner." [InventorSpot]
• Check out the cover of Condé Nast's Fashion Rocks. Does Justin Timberlake look like a waiter? [NY Mag]
• Madonna, Prince and Michael Jackson are all turning 50, so this story asks "Is 50 the new 30?" Wouldn't that make 30 the new 10? [CBSNews]
• Did Janice Dickinson flash the pilot on a private jet? She says no, but that she'd "admit it if she did it." [Page Six]
• Dina, Ali Lohan and a friend were maybe removed from the after party for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Or maybe they left on their own. A source says they sat at a reserved table when a studio staffer asked them to change tables and "Dina went apeshit." Dina says the guy "made the girls uncomfortable" so they left. Who do you believe? [E!]
• Madonna's brother says, "When Lourdes is ready to rebel, she may call me." [Hollywood Rag]
• Britney Spears has a $22,000 a month weight loss plan: $10,000 on a nutritionist and diet supplements, $8,000 on a personal trainer, and $4,000 on a private dance choreographer. [PopDirt]
• Remember Sam Lutfi? He's still communicating with Britney's family… He doesn't want the restraining order to become permanent. [ONTD]
• There's a documentary called Saving Britney Spears. The filmmaker says as he researched and shot footage, "It seemed like everyone was cashing in on Britney’s breakdown. Even those who claimed to want to save Britney were just using her profile as a 'troubled celeb' to get themselves noticed." [Telegraph]
• Jamie Lynn Spears is probably getting married in the fall. Probably in her own backyard in Liberty, Mississippi. Keepin' it real. [ET]
• Kevin Federline: "Been having a good summer, I can't complain." [People]
• The main character from Guy Ritchie's new movie, RocknRolla is based on Pete Doherty. "Johnny" is a rock star hiding out in a crack den who finds himself in a battle with the Russian mob and the London underworld. [ONTD]
• Guy does not like sugar. He says: "Sugar kills. Think of the calories in sugar. Fat kills more people than anything else. Sugar is responsible for a lot of deaths, arguably more than crack cocaine." Think his kids crave the stuff? [Mirror]
• As for Pete Doherty, he's still sorta broken up over Kate Moss: "When you split up with someone, someone that you're seriously in love with, it takes a lot of time before you even realise that you're upset. You know? It just hits you. I haven't shacked up with anyone since. I haven't shared my life with anyone." [The Press Association]
• Coming to Sesame Street: Jack Black, Neil Patrick Harris and LL Cool J! OMG and Heidi Klum! and so many more. [UPI]
• Well this is kinda weird: Freddie Prinze, Jr. has been hired by WWE as a new member of the creative team. He's a big fan and also a "celebrity blogger" on the WWE Fan Nation site. Was he sick of Sarah Michelle Gellar's househusband? [411mania]
• Lauren Conrad is an emotional train wreck? Is that news? [Star]
• Miley Cyrus will not kiss Katy Perry at the Teen Choice Awards, even though Katy said she'd do it. "No thanks," Miley says. "She sang on my record. So I think she's kind of getting back at me, because she was doing harmonies and backgrounds." Oh, ha. Miley also says something sorta sad: She wants her birthday to be low-key, because, "I'm into having just a good ol' pool party or, like, [going to] the beach with a couple of friends. I don’t want to feel like I have to entertain the whole time." [E!]
• P.S. Here's a report that claims Miley's ready to quit Hannah Montana. Although I was just watching the news and they said she's happy and Disney is her home. Don't mess with the girl's paycheck! [Mirror]
• Rosie O'Donnell is going on vacation, taking August off. No blogging! [Perez Hilton]
• Seth Rogen was caught smoking weed at a party for Pineapple Express, but isn't that his promotional duty for the movie? [Page Six]
• Speaking of which: Cheech and Chong reunion tour. [UPI]
• Barron Hilton, lil bro of Paris, was maybe underage partying in t he Hamptons, if you care. [Page Six]
• I wanna get me some of these Dr. Dre headphones! [InventorSpot]
• "You think I'm fat? Fine. I don't care how much you weigh." —Meghan McCain in Glamour. [ET]
• "I've had [a] face-lift, eye job and all that stuff. It didn't help me one bit. It didn't get me happier or make me look particularly younger" — Kathy Griffin to Fitness magazine. [Page Six]

• Whoa. Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan are dunzo. She was supposed to star in his remake of Barbarella, but studio moguls wanted "a bigger star, a bigger name." Now the flick might have — wait for it — Jessica Alba as the lead. What a fucking mess. But yeah, the whole leaving your wife for the chick in your movie thing is always bad news bears. [Page Six]
• Yo! Daniel Craig lovers! The new bond trailer is online! (Why yes, he is shirtless for a split second!) [BBC News]
• Jennifer Aniston and the gang are reuniting for a film version of Friends. Why, Zeus, why??? [Daily Mail]
• A source says Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees has been hanging out at Madonna's apartment a lot lately. He's been leaving as late as midnight. They work out at the same gym, have the same agent and her kids like the Yankees. But! Madge's spokesperson says there is no truth to the rumored affair. [NY Post]
• Plus, Madonna's spokesperson says: "There are no divorce plans." [Reuters]
• The spokesperson, Liz Rosenberg, Madonna's PR flack, swears that her Madgesty and Guy Ritchie are not getting divorced. TMZ points out that she is the same woman who, in 2006, said, "Madonna has not adopted a baby, despite reports that she has." [TMZ]
• Madonna and Guy walked into a New York City restaurant last night, holding hands. Then they had dinner together. So clearly, everything is fine. [People]

• A smiley, happy slideshow of photos of Madonna and Guy through the years shows that he never wears a wedding ring. [TMZ]
• Angelina Jolie is in the hospital but "there's no urgency." She's resting and whatnot. Twins, people. Twins. [People]
• Her hospital check-in was "planned" and Angie is "doing great." [Reuters]
• Angelina's obstetrician will make a statement this afternoon. What will it be??? [AP]
• And yeah. Angie may have fibbed about her due date. [Fox News]
• BREAKING NEWS: Shannen Doherty is in talks to reprise her role as Brenda on the new 90210. Holy uckfay. [Perez Hilton]
• Christie Brinkley's divorce trial begins today and it's hard to muster the energy to care. It sucks that some dude cheated on a supermodel with a 18-year-old assistant but: Yawn. [AP]
• Daniel Radcliffe says of the new Harry Potter movie: "There is a fair amount of sexual energy and there are some drug parallels. We have a couple of what David Yates, the director calls our 'Trainspotting moments'." [Mirror]
• This headline: "Pharrell Williams To Grow New Skin In A Test Tube To Make Room For New Tattoos" says it all. [Mirror]
• Sienna Miller: Seen in Prague hugging married man Balthazar Getty and yes, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]
• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong had a beachside lunch with Kate's mom Goldie Hawn, aww. [People]
• Boy George was forced to cancel his US tour due to visa denial. He's all, "Do you really want to hurt me?" And the authorities are like, "Yes." [USA Today]
• Colin Farrell has a new dame, novelist Emma Forrest. They've been together six months (???) but made their first public appearance in Hollywood last night. [The Sun]
• Meryl Streep is psyched about her Mamma Mia! movie: "It's a requirement of popular culture that you strike an ironic distance. This doesn't. It's a film about women and their whole experiences being hopeful and youthful and older and suffering the regrets that you have over a long life. It's visceral and I love that." She also says: "Women's real change in our society has been disruptive, but feels evolutionarily necessary. So now 60% of the kids in college are women. More than 50% of medical students are women. They're not at the top in government and business, but there is real change and I think that has terrified everybody. It's terrified men and it's terrified women." As a result, she thinks, "women have performed a compensatory step back". Streep starts imagining out loud what the women who have made that step back tell themselves. "'I won't be sexy if I'm this - even though I want to be paid an equal amount, I still want to appear sexy, I still want to appear fragile, so I'll lose weight.' That's my theory about what women are doing anyway." There's so much more, you should read the whole interview. [Guardian]
• Chris Martin thought he might be gay, then he discovered he loves breasts. [The Sun]
• The heirs of J.R.R. Tolkien have not received any money from the Lord Of The Rings movies, even though the studios grossed around $3 billion at the box office and $3 billion in DVDs and merch, wow. Wow. [LA Times]
• Donna Summer is making a "comeback." She has always written her own songs and her new album is no different. She didn't want to end up a "desperate housewife" so she decided to "go for it." And she doesn't plan to quit: "Ella Fitzgerald sang throughout her whole life. I have no intention of stopping." [Independent]
• Derek Jeter may or may not know what "prowess" means, but he likes the way it sounds when applied to his love life. [Page Six]
• Unlike Carrie Bradshaw, Candace Bushnell still smokes. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin vs. NYC carriage horses: A shitty battle. [Page Six]
• Will Princes Harry and William appear in a movie about "the glamorous international polo circuit"? [Page Six]
• "As a woman, if you're outspoken and you know what you want, you're a bitch. And if you don't know what you want, you're a ditz." — Kimora Lee Simmons to Giant magazine. [Page Six]
• Here's something you didn't want to know: Director Brett Ratner bought five copies of The Big Penis Book. [Page Six]
• That Russian male model, Andre Birleanu, from America's Most Smartest Model, who was arrested twice and charged with harassment and sexual abuse? Looks like his cases will be dismissed. [Page Six]
• Anne Hathaway's family tried to warn her about her con man ex-boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri. And did she know that shit was about to go down? She left the country right before the Feds arrested him. [Rush & Molloy]
• Tom Hanks vs. Jack Nicholson; SAG vs. AFTRA. [Rush & Molloy]
• LeRoi Moore, the sax player in Dave Matthews Band, has been seriously injured in an ATV accident. [TMZ]
• Tony Hawk and wife Lhotse welcomed their first child, a daughter named Kadence Clover Hawk. (Tony has three sons from a previous relationship.) [People]
• Will Audrina be topless in her new movie? Do you care? [Egotastic]
• Eddie Murphy might retire. I wish he'd quit before he made Meet Dave. [ONTD]
• Josh Hartnett will star in a stage adaptation of Rain Man — as the Tom Cruise character, not the Dustin Hoffman autistic savant. [UPI]
• McDonald's has a Devo-looking Happy Meal toy, and Devo is pissed. [UPI]
• Justin Timberlake is afraid of his momma. Justin says she's like, "'Answer me when I ask you a question!' and then I’d start to answer and she’d go, 'Shut up when I’m talking.'" [MSNBC]
• Is Shia LaBeouf dating Ginny Weasley? He's 22 and she's 17, btw. [ONTD]
• Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen: Recording a duet! [OK!, via ONTD]
• Alleged illegitimate Lohan sister Ashley Kaufman wants a record deal. Of course. But! An "insider" says: "Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali." [MSNBC]
• Today is Lindsay Lohan's birthday. What do you think she's getting from Sam? [PopSugar]

[New York, June 17. Image via Splash.]

• Matthew McConaughey went to Nicaragua to surf and ended up partying at a bar called the Iguana, standing on a table and screaming, "I've lost by flip-flops," after which he was seen "resting" in a ditch. Quoth Matt: "I'm STILL looking for my left flip-flop. So if anyone finds it floating around down there (it has 6:22 stitched into the side), please send it my way. There is a reward." [Rush & Molloy]
• Anne Hathaway's four-year romance with Raffaello Follieri: Dunzo! Could it be his company being probed by the New York State Attorney? Could it be that he was sued by business partner Ron Burkle? Could it be that the flames fizzled out? [Rush & Molloy]
• Joan Rivers has apologized for swearing on a live British TV show. "Yes, I swore, and I'm so fucking sorry," she says. [People]
• One of Nicole Kidman's bodyguards laid down in the street to prevent paparazzi from following Nicole and hubby Keith Urban. A photog says: "I've never seen anything like it. And after about five minutes, this guy just got up, wished us all a nice evening, and strolled off." [Rush & Molloy]
• Nicole Richie attended the Women In Film's Crystal and Lucy Awards, because she is such a huge movie star. [ET]

• Amy Winehouse remains in the hospital, and her father is by her side. She is "still having tests done." What ever will they find? [Mirror]
• Uh, this paper says that doctors have told Amy to "quit drugs or die." [The Sun]
• Steven Tyler was seen at the Lakers vs. Celtics game last night. Does this mean he's out of "foot pain" rehab? Hmm, he did wear sneakers, which seems out of character. [TMZ]
• Holy crap! This "house" in the valley Britney wants to buy is basically like, a castle. A California castle. Pool and screening room, sigh. [TMZ]
• Brit's dad is selling her Studio City home. And Britney will be in Louisiana when her sister gives birth. Jamie Lynn is due in late June, which is fast approaching. [People]
• You guys like Russell Brand, right? Watch this. He has a message for "up and coming shaggers." [TMZ]
• Look at this: Mike Myers and Heidi Klum swapped shoes at a party, har har. [Rush & Molloy]
• As pictured, George Takei and his main man Brad Altman got a marriage license yesterday. They plan to wed in September, in front of family, friends and Star Trek cast mates. Takei and Altman were the first couple to receive a marriage license from West Hollywood, a city that previously did not issue licenses to gay or straight couples. Congrats! [People]
• Lance Armstrong was on The View, dodging questions about Kate Hudson. [People]
• Six Words: A Fish Called Wanda: The Musical. [Best Week Ever]
• This post says Colin Farrell is attempting to hide a wedding ring on his left hand, but shows a ring on his right hand. The left hand is in the pocket. Hmm. [A Socialite's Life]
• Robert De Niro! In court! Testifying about real estate! That would be cool to watch. [CBS News]
• Patti Lupone is working in a memoir. [Yahoo News]
• Ivanka Trump says that when she was a kid, she and her brother found out that her father was sleeping with Marla Maples from local papers: "We'd come home from school having read [about] them on the cover of The Post," she reveals. (One headline: "Marla Boasts to Pals about Donald: BEST SEX I EVER HAD.") Ivanka also maintains she's not like other heiresses. "I'm not the type to be eating bonbons all day. I just can't imagine anything worse than spending my day figuring out what I was going to wear that night." [Page Six]
• Will Smith's daughter Willow is in Kit Kittredge: An American Girl and guess what? It opens the same day as his movie Hancock. [Page Six]
• "As newspapers are declining rapidly… I would just point out, all news today comes from newspapers. All of it. Television has never initiated a successful story in its life. When they have a big story, it's always wrong." — Tom Wolfe. [Page Six]
• Former baseball star Roger Clemens has sold his Bentley to Rock Of Love star Bret Michaels. Nothin' but a good time! [Page Six]
• Singer Katy Perry: Seen kissing a girl. No, really. [Page Six]
• "We're one of the world's worst—but most enthusiastic—plagiarists as a band. We'll try and copy anything but tend to fail, so we come up with something...that sounds like us—only through trying to sound like somebody else." — Chris Martin of Coldplay. [E!]
• RIP Cyd Charisse. She was elegant, gorgeous and had legs for miles. [People]
• Here's video of Cyd dancing with Gene Kelly. [E!]

• Ashlee Simpson wed Pete Wentz on Saturday at her parents' house in Encino, CA. Afterwards, she and guests partied at an Alice In Wonderland-themed reception. Sister Jessica was the maid of honor and brought Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. You know, Jessica had an Alice In Wonderland-themed birthday party on episode 9 of Newlyweds: Nick And Jessica. And she didn't even know who the Mad Hatter was. [Rush & Molloy]
• The bride wore an ivory lace gown by Monique Lhuillier. The groom's bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring bearer. Papa Joe Simpson officiated. [People]
• Jessica was "subdued" during the wedding and "did not look happy." Ashlee "managed to hide her pregnancy pretty well." [E!]
• Ashlee did tell wedding guests that she is, indeed, pregnant. [Perez Hilton]
• The rehearsal dinner was at Jessica's house. [E!]
• Kate Hudson is getting over her breakup with Owen Wilson by hanging out with Lance Armstrong. They had dinner Friday and Saturday night in Austin, Texas. [People]
• Goldie Hawn says daughter Kate is "doing really well." [People]
• Angelina says she's explained to her kids that she has twins in her belly, so now Zahara says "she's got little piggies and she has to eat brownies because the piggies need to eat brownies." And Pax "says he's got monkeys." According to this paper, Brad and Angelina are spending £8 million to ensure the safe arrival of the twins. [Mirror]

• Here's some old-ass video of Angelina hanging out with some chick who is smoking heroin. [The Sun]
• Mariah Carey plans to get married to Nick Cannon again, this time in an over-the-top ceremony in New York. Mariah wants over 2,000 guests, 14 bridesmaids and a $4 million budget. On the guest list? Naomi Campbell. Awesome. [MSNBC]
• Rihanna on Chris Brown: "We are very good friends. [People]
• Sadie Frost is not happy that her boytoy Kristian Marr hasn't been returning her calls and has been hanging out with Amy Winehouse. Sigh. [Daily Mail]
• Are Amy and Blake Incarcerated planning on renewing their wedding vows when he gets released? [Mirror]
• Amy's mom says: "[Blake]'s been in prison for almost as long as they've been together." She also acknowledges that Amy is still on drugs. Blake's mom says: "I was relieved when Blake was jailed in November. Parted from Amy, I felt it was his greatest chance - and hers - of beating [his] addiction to drugs." She also says: "Every week, I see countless photographs of [Amy]…Half-dressed, surrounded by hangers-on… [looking like an] addict, with her thin frame, grubby fingernails and cuts on her arms. If Amy were our daughter, my husband Giles and I certainly wouldn't let her walk the streets in this state." [Daily Mail]
• Amy's mom says "Amy didn't start on the hard drugs until she met Blake." [Telegraph]
• Meanwhile, Blake's dad was in a bicycle accident and could be paralyzed. It's a soap opera that never ends! [Mirror]
• Pete Doherty played in a celebrity soccer match. [The Star]
• Um, I must have blocked out the fact that Pete Doherty has a five-year-old son. [Daily Mail]
• Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag ran up a $783 bill at an L.A. restaurant and then tipped $16. Well, math is not their strength. [TMZ]
• Britney, in Costa Rica, riding an ATV. [TMZ]
• Britney in Costa Rica, riding a boogie board. [The Sun]
• Bono has asked David Beckham to join him on an expedition to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. David wants to do it! Posh would never be seen in hiking boots, huh. [The Sun]
• Is Justin Timberlake ready to propose to Jessica Biel? Apparently he wants to get married in a private ceremony on the island of Mustique. [The Sun]
• Ashley Olsen's new boyfriend is a "little bit psycho-y" and he doesn't like having his picture taken. Good thing he's with a girl who never gets photographed! [Page Six]
• John Stamos has a black eye from a kick-boxing "accident." Poor thing. [Page Six]
• Does George Clooney have new teeth? [ONTD]
• The Aniston/Mayer pairing is still going strong. Here they are making out in Miami. [Mirror]
• Barbara Walters on Star Jones: "I mean, we had to lie for her. And I was worried about my own credibility. Joy Behar was very upset about it." [MediaBistro]
• Star's ex-husband Al Reynolds may spill all in a sit-down TV interview. If someone will pay him. [Perez Hilton]
• Incredibly obvious blind item! "What reviled British personality, generally reviled by everyone, has started to pull a Heidi and Spencer????? That's right, the media-hating (at least in public) skank is now traveling with her very own paparazzi photographer. The snapper arranges with her to get exclusive pics of the hooker and then they split the profits. Hey, she's gotta make money somehow, right?" [Perez Hilton]
• Scarlett Johansson didn't got to the Cannes premiere of her Woody Allen flick because she wanted more than the studio was willing to spend. Scarlett reportedly refused to stay at the same hotel as co-star Penelope Cruz and Woody Allen, and she also refused to share a makeup artist with Penelope. Diva! [Perez Hilton]
• Christina Aguilera removed every hint of the Osbournes before moving into their Beverly Hills mansion. Not surprising. she's not exactly the gargoyle type. [Janet Charlton's Hollywod]
• Kelly Rowland is writing a children's book. This paper illustrates this story with a picture of Beyoncé, sigh. [Times Of India]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer: "If I had to hire an investigator or investigators to provide me with the intelligence about what's going on, where they are, how are they doing, it would be north of half a million to a million dollars ... as opposed to buying People magazine for $3.95 on Thursday morning or going on TMZ." [AP]
• Brody Jenner in Chicago: "He was swigging Grey Goose vodka straight from the bottle and looked practically comatose. The bar smelled awful, and girls in tube tops were swarming all over him." You know. The usual. [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester seen making out with co-star Sebastian Stan. These names only exist to taunt us, don't they? [Page Six]
• Gina Gershon is looking for a personal assistant. Any takers? [Page Six]
• The new Indiana Jones movie: "Often thrilling, sometimes charming, occasionally clunky family entertainment that perhaps wisely doesn't attempt to scale the heights of Raiders of the Lost Ark.. [New York Post]
• Does Petra Nemcova want Sean Penn back? She's been "flirting heavily" with him at the Cannes Film Festival, despite the fact that he is there with wife Robin Wright Penn. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mischa Barton was seen smoking a joint and knocking back tequila shots in Cannes. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper DMX allegedly checked into an Arizona hospital in April under a fake name so that he didn't have to pay the bill. [TMZ]
• Kenny Chesney won entertainer of the year at the Academy of Country Music Awards, yawn. [People]
• A prison inmate is suing over how he was portrayed in a 50 Cent movie. Good luck with that! [UPI]
• Loni Anderson got married over the weekend, to an old flame named Bob Flick. [ET]
• The sister of late INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence has been selling personal items and memorabilia on eBay. [News.com.au]
• Sean Patrick Thomas of Save The Last Dance is the father of a new baby girl, Lola Jolie. [People]
• Boy George sells stuff on the street now. [The Sun]