Tila Claims Rihanna Has Herpes; Jake Calls Reese His "Girlfriend"

• Rihanna made fun of Tila Tequila on a radio show, so naturally, Tila's only option was to claim that Rihanna has herpes and declare that she's now on "Team Chris."

J.Lo Sues Ex Over Sex Movie; Lindsay's Assistant Worries She'll Kill Herself

• Jennifer Lopez is suing her ex-husband Ojani Noa for $10 million and demanding he stop production of the film How I Married Jennifer Lopez, which includes video of the couple in "sexual situations" on their honeymoon.

Ashlee Fired From Melrose Place; Lil Wayne Headed To Jail

• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has been fired from Melrose Place along with co-star Colin Egglesfield, with whom she was rumored to be flirting on-set.

TomKat's Scientology Bash; Angie's Fashionable Role

• Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise were surprise guests at a "massive" Scientology party in England last week.

Polanski Would Agree To House Arrest; Kate Plus 8 Will End In November

• A Swiss tribunal is expected to rule on Roman Polanski's appeal to be freed from jail by the end of the week. Polanski's lawyer says he would be willing to stay under house arrest at his Swiss villa if released.

Lindsay's Dad Knows Her Drug Dealer; Spice Girls Reuniting (Again)?

• Michael Lohan says he knows who Lindsay's drug dealer is:

Jon Gives Daughter A Misspelled Cake; Lindsay's Family Plans An Intervention

• Jon Gosselin brought his daughter a birthday cake that read, "Happy Birthday Maddy" today. The only problem? Her name is spelled "Mady." But it's not "Johnathon's" fault: Entertainment Tonight ordered the cake for him.

Frances Cobain Lashes Out At Ali Lohan; Brad & Jen's "Secret" Meeting

• Frances Bean Cobain has written an open letter to Ali Lohan. Would you like to know what it says? Here goes — and consider it to be [sic]-filled:

Miley Lands Sex And The City; Kardashian Wedding Was A "Circus"

• Miley Cyrus will indeed be in Sex And The City 2:

Hollywood, Please Stop Inviting Us To Your Weddings

Roman Polanski Arrested In Switzerland

• Director Roman Polanski has been arrested by Swiss police, at the request of the United States, after he tried to enter Switzerland to attend the Zurich Film Festival, where a tribute to his work is taking place. [CNN]

Gerard's Not With Jen; Mackenzie Slept With Mick

• Gerard Butler is not, repeat, not dating Jennifer Aniston.

Losing Daisy Leaves Jess At "Worst Place Ever"; Khloé Will Marry This Weekend

• One of Jessica Simpson's "friends" claims she's at her lowest point ever after losing her dog because, "Daisy was her baby... It's going to put her into a tailspin. It will put her into the worst place ever."

Jennifer Aniston Continues To Worry About Love, Zooey Thinks Her Sister Is An Alien

• Jennifer Aniston is concerned that her romance with Gerard Butler will come to an end, now that the movie the two were shooting together, The Bounty, has stopped filming. Surely this means more "Lonely Jen" stories for us all. [PageSix]

Sandra Saves Ryan's Marriage, Lady Gaga Finds Happiness, And Paula Abdul Wants To "Destroy" American Idol

• Sandra Bullock is allegedly helping Ryan Reynolds get through a rough patch in his marriage to Scarlett Johansson. Hopefully her advice doesn't include "watch All About Steve together." [ShowbizSpy]