Richard Hatch, 2000: Survivor was the network show that kicked off the reality craze, and Richard Hatch was both its first victor and first villain. Hatch was unlikeable, rude, and "not here to make friends," which made him an excellent prototype for the reality villains of the era. Hatch's life away from the show, including a conviction for tax evasion in 2006, also lent itself to the tabloids, creating a crossover of sorts for "ordinary people" from reality shows to have their dirty laundry aired just like the celebrities would, a trend that has only gotten stronger and more insane as the years have gone on.


O-Town, 2001: A manufactured pop group thrown together during the first season of MTV's Making The Band O-Town represented a growing trend in reality programming; the ability to make dreams come true through a recording contract (see also: Popstars, The X Factor, American Idol, Making The Band 2, 3, and 4). They had a hit with the now hilariously dated "Liquid Dreams" and faded away soon after. Band member Ashley Parker Angel later got his own "road back to stardom" type show on MTV, with similar results.


Howard K. Stern, 2002: One of many "celebreality" shows of the decade, the Anna Nicole Show was an attempt by Anna Nicole Smith to regain a bit of fame after her career dropped off in the late 90s. The show was an absolute trainwreck, and it was clear things would not end well. Stern, who was Smith's lawyer, always seemed to be lurking in the background, making decisions for the often-incoherent starlet and attempting to explain her erratic behavior. Smith died of a drug overdose in 2007, and Stern is currently on trial facing charges that he provided the drugs that led to her death.


Evan Marriott, 2003: The star of the wildly popular Joe Millionaire, Marriott played the role of a super rich guy looking for love, though the audience was well aware that Joe was anything but a millionaire. At the end of the show, the lucky winner had to figure out whether she really loved Joe or just his imaginary bank account. Did she stay for love? I honestly don't remember, but it doesn't matter now, as Marriott and Joe Millionaire are just a distant memory.


Laguna Beach, 2004-2006: The show that launched a thousand mascara tears, Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County premiered in 2004 and introduced us to the likes of Lauren Conrad and Kristen Cavallari, who went on to to star in a second MTV reality show, The Hills. As for the rest of the cast, I'm sure they're all doing well and cringing every time they hear their Hilary Duff penned theme song on the radio.


Flavor Of Love, 2006-2008: Vh1, tired of being the channel best known for playing videos your mom likes and handing out tidbits of pop information via bubbles placed in videos, decided to spent the better part of the decade dealing in the love lives washed-up celebrities. Flavor Flav had three seasons of Flavor of Love on the network, but it was the contestants, including Tiffany "New York" Pollard, who stole the show. Soon enough, Pollard was considered celebrity enough to receive her own dating "celebreality" show, I Love New York. VH1 has since become a hotbed of sorts of reality dating show "stars," giving them multiple opportunities to extend their 15 minutes via an endless array of spinoff shows.


Sanjaya Malakar, 2007: A contestant during the sixth season of American Idol Sanjaya's inexplicable longevity on the show became a gift for some and a curse for others. The split between Sanjaya's supporters and detractors only served to make him a bigger star...until the next season started. If there's any show where careers are made and destroyed as quickly as possible, it's American Idol. By the time the next group of wannabes comes around, the majority of "stars" from the past seasons are instantly forgotten.


The Kardashians, 2008 It's pretty much impossible to walk past a supermarket checkout without seeing one of the Kardashians on the cover of a tabloid mag. The family has been documenting their lives on screen since late 2007, and though Kim was the breakout star, sisters Khloe and Kourtney got their own show in 2009 and have since become her rivals for coverage with stories of their weddings and pregnancies and various other important life things. The Kardashians, like the Osbournes and Hogans before them, found a place in the county's weird obsession with watching famous families go through relatively scripted ordeals.


Jon Gosselin, 2009: And speaking of family television, here's Jon Gosselin. Ugh, I can barely write another word about Jon Gosselin. You know who he is, right? He's a father of eight who wears bejeweled tigers on the back of his jeans. Gosselin started out as one of the stars of a "nice" reality show, the type of "educational" programming based around big families, little people, and neighbors who swap houses for a fun day of remodeling. Yet by the time his show was over, he'd hit every "naughty" reality show cliche in the book, proving that it's not that hard to move from "beloved" reality star to "international jackass" when your life falls apart on camera.


Jersey Shore, 2010: Get used to these faces. After a decade of villains, heroes, messed up families, hair-pulling fights, rock stars dating on buses, people taking shits on carpets, "bad girls" screaming at each other, pop stars rising and falling, top models being born, and Idols being worshipped, this is the new face of reality television. Welcome to 2010. It's going to be a Bumpit ride.

• Mary-Lousie Parker was overheard ranting about some Weeds star's inflated sense of entitlement and crap acting abilities and for some reason everyone's pointing the finger at Mary-Kate Olsen. Think it's the similar names? [Gatecrasher]
  
• Think this blind item about a "supposedly rehabbed" starlet with a with a weakness for minibar bottles is about Lindsay Lohan? Because Linds was photographed sucking face with three separate "Italian stallions" and the old "addict" Lindsay could have gotten away with being too fucked-up to realize they were different people but the new "sex addict" Lindsay has some 'splainin to do to poor Alessandro di Nunzio. [The Sun]
  
• Speaking of makeouts, L.C. had a session with her childhood Laguna Beach buddy Stephen Colletti. Wow, that was well-timed to capitalize on rumors of former Colletti GF and L.C. rival Kristin Cavillari's joining the cast of The Hills, ya know? [US]
  
• And speaking of Italian stallions, Ivana Trump is set to wed her barely-legal boytoy Rosanno Rubicondi in The Donald's Mar A Lago estate. [Gatecrasher]

• John McEnroe's son threw a shitfit after getting rejected from the Pink Elephant before he "stumbled backward and fell into a pile of garbage bags." [Page Six
• Madonna wants to adopt a child from Cambodia. God, what inspiring humanitarian gesture will she think of next. [The Sun]
• Jenna Fisher wrote on her MySpace blog touting the full-frontal male nudity in her new movie Walk Hard and for some retarded reason none of the nineteen celebrity tabloids reporting this fact have taken the opportunity to make the triple-pun "Hard Sell," so I guess that responsibility falls upon me. [Page Six]
• Yeah, and in that vein, Eve's eco-friendly rider: not so "ruff" on the environment. [Page Six]

• Al "I'm The Man Who Was Elected President, But Whatever I'm A Movie Star Now" Gore has "fallen out of love" with politics, he says. And thus will not be running for president... again. If this is true, what a drama queen! If this isn't true, what an even bigger drama queen! Simmer down, Al! (And if you need some help with that, we're sure your son has some pills that could help.) [CNN]
  
• We [heart] brave kittens. Especially when they're better swimmers than we'll ever be. [ABCNews]
  
• The list of that D.C. madam's hooker-hiring politicians goes public! God, this is going to be more entertaining to watch than an America's Next Top Model. [The Smoking Gun]
  
• Taking "til death do us part" to a whole other level, a Welsh couple commit joint suicide after finding out that the husband had only a few weeks to live. In their suicide notes, they said they knew they could not live without one another. Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro: You guys are jokes. [Daily Mail UK]

• Our mother always told us that swimming pools were scary places. And just now had we mustered up the strength to buy our first-ever bathing suit in attempt to get over our fears. Then we read this. Bathing suit: Now in a drawer forever. [ABCNews]
• MTV has ordered a 4th season of Laguna Beach. What's that sound? Oh yes, our souls shattering. [Star]
• Good news for Russia: You're all over the runways! Bad news for Russia: It's looking more and more like you poison your own kind. [NYT]
• DailyCandy-ites rejoice: Sex and the City: The Movie is going to happen, at last. [E!]
• 6 U.S. casualties identified. [DoD]

• "You know my gratitude has gone up so much and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it." Our gratitude will totally skyrocket when they release this woman to the media that is paying somewhere between zero and a million dollars to use and be mean to her face! [Washington Post] [NY Times]
  
• Chad Michael Murray acted like a "jealous diva" around other male One Tree Hill cast members who got close to the wife he was cheating on with Paris Hilton. We've never watched that show, but this little snippet makes him sound like such an idiotic turd he doesn't even deserve the title "emosogynist." [Page Six]
  
• Andre Balazs is bringing New York its very own version of Chateau Marmont, a development which totally gets our gratitude racing. Did you know he received a master's in journalism from Columbia University? He's totally qualified to figure out ways of ethically not paying Paris Hilton for an interview! [Page Six]
  
• WE is launching an internet TV property just for brides. Our Tivos are setting themselves [WSJ]
  
• Remember upstanding citizen Jason Wahler? The Laguna Beach-era counterpart to the hopeless fame-whoring vapidity of The Hills' Heidi and Spencer appears to have removed the MySpace page wherein he spelled his own name wrong and now says he "relates" to Lilo. This "teaser" to the full article (on newsstands today!) says it's all about how he doesn't actually remember any of the 37 times he was arrested in the past year because he was blacked out the entire time (Yo dude: happens to the best of us!) though it suspiciously sidesteps any mention of L.C. sex tapes, Heidi, Spencer. Which sort of leads us to wonder whether no mention of Heidi or "beef curtains" was, like, a condition of the interview. Because if it was, uh, maybe Andre Balazs had the right idea getting into the hospitality industry. [People]