JANUARY
London, January 15.

The year began with a demure, understated white jumpsuit, accessorized with a bow of hair. A nod to the noted adventurer Alice In Wonderland? Perhaps… But The Lady loves a girlish touch.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

JANUARY
Munich, Germany; January 26.

At something called DLD Star Night at Haus der Kunst, the Lady "rocked" crystal formations.

[Image via Getty.]

JANUARY
She's hard as a rock, a gem.

[Image via Getty.]

JANUARY
London, January 28.

After hanging out with Mark Ronson, The Lady was seen wearing an oh-so-breathable latex ensemble. A flower in the hair keeps it feminine!

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

FEBRUARY
London, February 18.

This image was shot during rehearsals for the Brit Awards 2009 at Earls Court, London. These leggings were ankle-length during rehearsals, but during her actual performance, the legs had been cut off so that only a patterned panty remained. She is Captain of Team No-Pants.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

FEBRUARY
London, February 18.

Backstage at the Brit Awards: A scorching hot pink cocktail dress.

[Image via Getty.]

MARCH
Santa Monica, CA; March 11.

For an Interscope Records portrait session, a masculine tuxedo jacked was paired with a disco ball bra and shorts. Victor/Victoria!

[Image via AP.]

MARCH
Los Angeles, March 13.
During a show at the Wiltern Theater, geometric shapes and a gravity-defying skirt.

[Image via Getty.]

APRIL
London, April 16.

Purple reign? Purple drank?

[Image via WENN.]

APRIL
April 20, London.

A temptress and a teacup.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

APRIL
Paris, April 23.

Lyrics from Lady Gaga's song "The Fame" seem to fit here:

I can't help myself
I'm addicted to a life of material
It's some kind of joke
I'm obsessively opposed to the typical

All we care about is
runway models, Cadillacs and liquor bottles
Give me something, I wanna be
Retro glamour, Hollywood, yes we live for the
Fame…

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

MAY
Boston, May 4.

An Electric Lady during a performance for The Grammy Celebration Concert Tour at the House of Blues. How many leotards do you think she owns?

[Image via AP.]

MAY
Sydney, Australia; May 21.

Captain No Pants marches on.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

JUNE
Toronto, June 19.

If you're keeping notes, purple is a yes; pants are a no.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

JUNE
Toronto, June 19.

Your love is nothing I can't fight,
Can't sleep with the man who dims my shine. — "I Like It Rough," Lady Gaga

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

JUNE
Toronto, June 21.

I can see you staring there from across the block
With a smile on your mouth and your hand on your [huh] — "Love Game," Lady Gaga

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

JUNE
Toronto, June 21.

Danger + sexuality + power = A Lady Gaga performance.

[Image via AP.]

JUNE
Toronto, June 21.

At the 2009 MuchMusic awards, Lady Gaga won Best International Video. She did not, however, sing any songs from Hair. Unfortunately.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

JULY
London, July 14.

Maison Michel bunny ears and an elaborately knit sweater dress prove that The Lady is provocative even when her body is mostly covered.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

JULY
German TV, July 21.

Muppet show! The infamous Kermit jacket, which she wore on German TV — originally seen in the Jean-Charles de Castelbajac's runway show in May — made for a memorable Muppet moment.

AUGUST
Jerusalem, August 18.

Ms. Gaga dressed down for the Holy Land, but as a former Catholic schoolgirl, made sure to wear a cross. In a song called "Teeth," Gaga sings, "My religion is you."

[Image via Getty.]

(Click to enlarge)

SEPETEMBER
Berlin, September 7.

Sometimes The Lady dresses like quite ladylike!

[Image via AP.]

SEPTEMBER
London, September 8.

An imagined conversation from the Project Runway judges:

Nina: I'm not bored…
Michael Kors: It shows creativity, but the shoulders are insane.
Heidi Klum: I think it looks like she woke up and took the bedspread with her.

[Image via Getty.]

SEPTEMBER
Paris, September 10.

Don't you love the Julie Christie hair?

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

SEPTEMBER
Paris, September 10.

Lieutenant Gaga says: Fight the good fight! The War On Pants will be won!

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 13.

The 13th was a huge day for Ms. Gaga: The MTV Awards. These are just a few of the ensembles she wore! Her red carpet dress was "Venetian Steampunk Lady In Mourning." Quoth the raven, "J'adore!"

[Image via Getty.]

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 13.

A blood-soaked rendition of "Paparazzi" required white boots and outrage.

[Image via Getty.]

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 13.

When Gaga picked up her Best New Artist award, she wore red lace and a McQueen headpiece right out of Pan's Labyrinth.

[Image via Getty.]

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 13.

In the pressroom after the MTV awards, it was time for a little jumper that was part Chrysler building, part Metropolis.

[Image via Getty.]

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 13.

Also at the MTV awards: Bird nest.

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 13.

For her own VMA after party, Gaga made the mantilla chic.

[Image via Getty.]

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 14.

The day after the MTV awards, Ms. Gaga attended the Marc Jacobs fashion show in a ladylike frock. And Zorro-like mask.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 14.

At a party for V Magazine, Marc Jacobs and Belvedere Vodka: Doesn't every Catholic schoolgirl dream of having her own radiant nimbus?

Also: If you think you can see nipple, it's because you can.

[Image via Getty.]

SEPTEMBER
New York, September 30.

Lady Gaga teamed up with Dr. Dre for Heartbeats, her high-end headphones. What does one wear to a headphone launch? An outfit which consists of cake frosting and 1930s tap pants. Of course.

[Image via WENN.]

OCTOBER
New York, October 2.

At the Billboard Women In Music brunch — yes, brunch: Hair today, gone tomorrow.

[Image via AP.]

NOVEMBER
New York, November 2.
Bra on the outside. Marie Antoinette cotton candy hair. Monster claws. A little Renoir, a ltitle rococo.

[Image via Getty.]

NOVEMBER
London, November 4.

Russian roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if its not rough it isn't fun…
Oh, oh oh oh oh…
Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

NOVEMBER
Braunschweig, Germany; November 7.

Another exercise in defying gravity — this time for the German TV show Wetten dass...?

[Image via AP.]

NOVEMBER
Los Angeles, November 14.

Made up like a Columbine from a Harlequinade!

[Image via Getty.]

COLUMBINE : Pierrot,
My vinaigrette ! I cannot live without
My vinaigrette!

PIERROT: My only love, you are
So fundamental! . . . How would you like
to be
An actress, Columbine? I am become
Your manager.

COLUMBINE : Why, Pierrot, I can't act.

PIERROT: Can't act! Can't act! La, listen to
the woman !
What s that to do with the price of furs ?
You're blonde,
Are you not? you have no education, have
you?
Can't act ! You under-rate yourself, my dear !

COLUMBINE: Yes, I suppose I do.

PIERROT: As for the rest,
I'll teach you how to cry, and how to die,
And other little tricks ; and the house will love
you.
You ll be a star by five o clock . . . that is,
If you will let me pay for your apartment.

— From Aria Da Capo, by Edna St. Vincent Millay

[Image via Getty.]

NOVEMBER
Los Angeles, November 22.

The American Music Awards: Bones, mugs & harmony.

[Image via Getty.]

NOVEMBER
Los Angeles, November 23.

Part Herman Munster, part Riff Raff from Rocky Horror. Like something out of the Beetle Juice waiting room. But classy!

[Image via Getty.]

DECEMBER
Blackpool, December 7.

The Lady managed to be fully covered when she met the Queen. It's doubtful that Her Majesty had ever seen latex leg o'mutton sleeves before, but you never know.

[Image via Getty.]

DECEMBER
New York, December 8.

After a long year, The Lady looked lovely in a restrained gown at the launch of VEVO.

And there you have it: Girlish, tough, proper, whimsical, fierce, provocative and experimental, a year of Gaga ensembles makes you wonder what she'll do next. Some say, when it comes to fashion, she is more powerful than Anna Wintour. Regardless: If you made it this far, click here for a message from Lady Gaga herself.

[Image via Getty.]

• Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga's M.A.C. Viva Glam ad is out. Gaga looks...surprisingly normal. [FWD]

• Helena Christensen protested in Copenhagen this weekend. In quieter times, she reads the dictionary to expand her English vocabulary. And she's one of those people about text messages: "I get obsessed with spelling. I make every text message I send correct in punctuation," explains the Danish supermodel. "I am super-fastidious about certain things." [Daily Express]
• Phil Knight is standing by Tiger Woods. The scandal-plagued golfer's endorsement deal with Nike is worth a reported $30 million annually; Knight admitted doing a background check on Woods before signing him. "He came out clean," the company founder said. [Reuters]
• It has been confirmed that André Leon Talley is a new judge for the whole next cycle of America's Next Top Model. Kimora Lee Simmons is only a guest judge. It's puzzling that Vogue would want to touch anything in Tyra Banks' smizing empire with a bargepole, but it'll be great to see André's judicial robes on nighttime television. (Also: I would leave New Zealand only for Tyra et al. to set off there. They are shooting the CoverGirl challenge today in Half Moon Bay, apparently.) [TVNZ]
• Christian Lacroix has designed new uniforms for 20,000 French railway employees. They are grey and purple. Few more of these gigs and he'll have his couture business back in no time. [WWD]
• "I've struggled with it! I've struggled with that. I've struggled with that," says Tom Ford, on the luxury culture of insatiable accretion, and charging $75 for socks."Just because one is spiritual doesn't mean one doesn't like crocodile, cashmere. We live in a material world." [TDB]
• To produce its fashion show, Victoria's Secret allegedly filled half a city block with noisy generators that ran 24 hours a day for over a week. This disturbed the sleep of nearby residents, including those at a home for people with HIV. Michael Musto's anonymous source claims that the company, which coincidentally finally broadcast its show on World AIDS Day, had to offer the residents a cash settlement. [Village Voice]
• Serena Williams returns to the Home Shopping Network to sell her line of clothing today. Last time the tennis star did the HSN rounds, her goods sold out in under three hours. How? "Everything in the collection is under $100," Williams explains. "And everything you get from me [is] great quality. I think for those prices and [this] quality, it is a no-brainer." Do you hear that? A no-brainer. It's not buying her clothes that really defies explanation. [People]
• The family that owns Salvatore Ferragamo bought a decrepit estate with a vineyard in Tuscany in 1993. The restoration process now complete, Ferragamo is now introducing four wines into the U.S. market, ranging in price from $15-$80 per bottle. They do not carry the family name trademark, because that would be so vulgar. [BW]
• Project Runway alumnus Rami Kashou has been dressing Queen Rania of Jordan. His spring collection is partly inspired by Frank Gehry. [LATimes]
• Knitwear designer Carmen Colle's lawsuit against Chanel has been thrown out by a Paris court. Colle's company, World Tricot, which designs new knitting and crochet patterns for various designer clients to incorporate into their runway looks, sued Chanel in 2004 when she spied a Chanel coat made from what she alleged was a World Tricot crochet pattern that Chanel had rejected, and never paid for. But it wasn't all bad news for Colle. World Tricot also sued for breach of contract, after Chanel abruptly stopped patronizing the house. Chanel countersued for besmirching its good name by bringing the suit at all. The court found World Tricot was owed €400,000 for the breach of contract, and it also found that Chanel was owed €200,000 for "commercial prejudice." World Tricot may appeal the forgery ruling. [WSJ]
• Jason Wu was asked if he was for or against brunch. "Pro, but only if it's after 1:30," the designer responded. Who the hell is against brunch? [TFI]
• Christopher Kane clarifies his earlier statements about not liking fashion blogs because designers have little to no control over what they publish. Now he says blogs can be fine, so long as they're not "critical" or "negative": "You're allowed to say what you want but sometimes the blogs that you read are really negative and that's what I meant to say really. Sometimes it's too negative for my liking and I think maybe they could give someone a compliment or say something nice. But bloggers nowadays seem to be a bit negative...but when it gets to someone's work and they're being critical, it's like ‘Give them a break'." [Grazia]
• Unilever has suspended its relationship with a palm oil supplier after Greenpeace alleged that the supplier was not harvesting its oil sustainably. Palm oil is a key ingredient in many cosmetics, but deforestation and environmental destruction can result when farmers slash and burn forests to plant palms. [WWD]

You might not love her music, or her antics, or her performance art, or her self-aggrandizing soundbytes, or even her manipulation of the spotlight. You might have no patience for the Britney-Warhol-glam-rock shenanigans or the Kabuki sendups or the blood or the accent. You can argue, as many have, that she's not doing anything others haven't done before her. You might just not give a damn about the latest pop-culture phenomenon. Well and good. But never let it be said that those who embrace Lady Gaga have no good cause. Even leaving aside the acoustic performances that sunk a thousand skeptics or the sunglass-free interview that won over Lindsay, take a few quotes from this L.A. Times profile:

"I'm getting the sense that you're a little bit of a feminist, like I am, which is good," she said. "I find that men get away with saying a lot in this business, and that women get away with saying very little . . . In my opinion, women need and want someone to look up to that they feel have the full sense of who they are, and says, 'I'm great.' " Gaga's casual use of the term "feminist" was interesting; like many female pop stars, she's rejected the term in the past. But she's evolving. She is growing "more compassionate," she says, and focusing more on ideas of community, especially the one formed by her core fan base, a mix of gay men, bohemian kids and young women attracted by Gaga's style and her singable melodies.

Or this:

Her new songs address serious themes like women's shame about their bodies and the need for open communication in relationships; her often physically distorting costumes show that the pursuit of the feminine ideal is far from natural. Her commitment to confront the changing notion of what's "natural" puts Gaga on the same road traveled by artists she admires, such as the photographer Cindy Sherman. Her frank talk about how female artists aren't expected to write their own songs or about how young women are afraid to ask for what they need from their sexual partners inches her toward a new articulation of feminism.

Or this:

"Celebrity life and media culture are probably the most overbearing pop-cultural conditions that we as young people have to deal with, because it forces us to judge ourselves...I guess what I am trying to do is take the monster and turn the monster into a fairy tale."

It's a mistake, and silly, to ascribe to a 23-year-old pop singer with a two-year-old career the qualities of visionary or icon, or even give her shtick too much analysis. She's going to do - and probably say - many ridiculous things before she's through. But taken as a celebrity with a lot of influence, she's already using it for a lot more good - and speaking more plainly - than many stars twice her age. She's embraced the f-word, only a few months after rejecting it, and that's a powerful statement in itself. There are far worse people we could love, is all I'm saying, and no one should need to justify that anymore.

Frank Talk With Lady Gaga [LA Times]
Lady GaGa - Poker Face (Acoustic Live @ AOL Sessions)[YouTube]

Earlier: Most Fascinating People: Lady GaGa "Devoted To Art", Michelle Obama Watches Mindless TV

• Laura Ingraham is auctioning Sarah Palin's fleece from her Going Rogue cover. Let's take up a collection and shoot a real Going Vogue. [Facebook]
• Givenchy was the winning bidder for Audrey Hepburn's How To Steal A Million LBD. [WWD]

• Sir Elton John is selling — completely fabulous, no doubt — designer clothes from his wardrobe for the benefit of his AIDS foundation. Prices start at £10. [Vogue UK]
• Michelle Obama wore Calvin Klein collection in Oslo. [WWD]
• Antonio Berardi is too cool to collaborate with Lady Gaga. "I was approached to design a clothing range with Lady Gaga but I knocked it back because I wasn't interested in someone whose music is meaningless," says the Italian-born designer. This, from a man who designed heel-less heels? [SN]
• "Women have many lives in a day, and I try to do the best I can to accommodate that. If I have a meeting at my son's school, I don't want to look like a total fashion freak. I think, ‘Could I wear this to Trader Joe's?'" Ever sensible, that Maria Cornejo. [WWD]
• Isaac Mizrahi is returning as the Narrator in the Guggenheim's holiday production of Peter and the Wolf. [NYP]
• Could Taylor Lautner be the latest face of Armani? [InTouch]
• Roberto Cavalli, when not lending his name to opulent Dubai nightclubs with black crystal floors, apparently likes to jet off to Africa and take pictures. Now he wants nothing more than to exhibit them, he told Martha Stewart, and the Daily, yesterday. "I love shooting primitive and simple things," explained Cavalli. You know. Primitive. Like Africa. [Vogue UK]
• P. Diddy visited the New York Stock Exchange for a party celebrating AOL's re-listing as a separate company from TimeWarner, and was apparently inundated with requests for fashion advice from finance chaps. [NYDN]
• A The Sartorialist clothing line and a The Sartorialist television show are just two of the many projects Scott Schuman is discussing presently. [Pedestrian]
• Versace's spring shoes are insane. Normally the shoes that actually enter production are watered-down versions of the sky-high runway clodhoppers; these look like they're one and the same. [TheLifeFiles]
• Jil Sander's second +J collection for Uniqlo will hit stores January 14. In the meantime, here are a few pictures. [Nitrolicious]
• Alexa Chung's MTV show, It's On With Alexa Chung, will end after its season finale on December 17. The network plans to "revamp" the show's format for next January; MTV has already shortened it from one hour to 30 minutes, and experimented with the timeslot. Chung's contract with the company runs through early next year. [Variety]
• At worst, Chung can console herself with the knowledge that she has inspired a Mulberry bag of her very own. The Alexa is a twist on the company's popular Bayswater, and starts at £695. [Elle UK]
• Yesterday, we linked to a Daily Mail story that stated Mulberry's sales had jumped 16% in the six months to September 30. Well, we ought to have known better than to trust that rag for financial news: although profits at the company rose 16%, sales rose a whopping 39%. [Vogue UK]
• Mango opened its first store in Iraq. [FWD]
• "I get my best ideas when I'm in the bath in the morning or when I'm driving," says accessories designer Lulu Guinness. [WWD]
• Lily Cole, on modeling versus acting: "I look at myself differently. I think in magazines I don't have very much control. If a picture of me is great, then great. If it's not so good, it's not my fault. I have less control in that situation. That is one of the things that I like about acting: I do have a lot more control over what I'm doing and more responsibility." [Interview]
• As part of her Vogue/CFDA Fashion Fund award, Sophie Théallet will be mentored by none other than Oscar de la Renta. [WWD]

• Though "sources" recently claimed Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal had broken up, an insider now says, "Jake is planning to pop the question over the holidays and couldn't be more excited."

The source continues, "Her children love him, his family loves her and now it's time to make it official... Reese is a traditional sort of lady, which is one of the many things Jake adores about her, and Christmas is her favorite holiday." [Popeater]

• Break out the champagne: A Maryland Judge granted TLC's request for a preliminary injunction against Jon Gosselin this afternoon, so Jon must stop making media appearances that violate his contract with the network. Jon skipped the hearing and his lawyers didn't present any evidence. A trial is scheduled for April 19. [AP]
• Here's what Jon missed: TLC's lawyer said by the end of Jon and Kate Plus 8, the network was paying the family $22,500 per episode, not $75,000 as Jon has claimed. The network's reps also offered a run down of every embarrassing thing Jon did in the past few months that "made the show look bad," explaining, "photos of Jon Gosselin with scores of bikini-clad women was inconsistent with our image brand of our show." [Radar Online]
• In other news, sources say the Gosselin kids no longer believe in Santa. [Us]
• Rachel Uchitel's friend Ashley Sampson was the first person to give an on-the-record interview about Tiger Woods cheating. Rachel tried to cover up their affair by saying she barely knew Ashley and calling her a drug abuser, and now she may sue Rachel for defamation. "Ashley told the truth and Rachel trashed her and lied," said a source. "That made Ashley furious." [Radar Online]
• It appears Rachel Uchitel is moving. She was spotted lugging suitcases and picking up a ton of dog food. [TMZ]
• Jamie Jungers, another woman linked to Tiger Woods, will tell her story on Today, then sell it to a magazine. There's a rumor going around that Tiger paid for her liposuction, but her rep denies it. [Radar Online]
• In an interview with Extra, Jaimee Grubbs said she's "deeply sorry" for having an affair with Tiger Woods. "I couldn't describe how remorseful that I am to have hurt her family and her emotionally... [but] if it wasn't me, it was going to be other girls. I did care about him. I didn't do it for superficial reasons. I didn't do it to purposely hurt [Elin]," said Grubbs. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' mom Kultida Woods flew from L.A. to Atlanta today. [Radar Online]
• Poor Tiger: The scandal has forced him to cover up the name on his yacht. [Radar Online]
• If you're keeping track, the following stars still support Tiger Woods: Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, and Wylef Jean. Diddy says: "Ye without sin cast the 1st stone!!!! Put down your rocks sinners!!!!! Tiger keep your head up! God bless your fam Black man!" [Us]
• You can start holding your breath: Kourtney Kardashian's baby is expected "any minute," according to Khloe Kardashian. [Radar Online]
• The mother of Lamar Odom's two children ripped apart a recent story from Life & Style about Khloe Kardashian bonding with the kids. "My daughter met Khloe for about 10-15 minutes... I don't think a 15 minute meet and greet with a child can be defined as a bonding experience for anyone," said Liza Morales. Though the article claimed Khloe hadn't met Lamar Jr. because he was "too young to travel," Morales says, "The truth is my 8-year-old son told me he didn't want to meet her at that time." [Radar Online]
• Gisele Bunchen's mom and aunt visited her and Tom Brady in Boston for the birth of their child. Her aunt says: "He's a beautiful, healthy boy." Gisele's dad, who stayed in Brazil, says, "We don't know the name yet. I don't have all the details. But obviously when someone is born into the family, it makes us all happy." [People]
• At a press conference today Tom Brady called his son's birth "a wonderful experience in my life," and said they still haven't picked out a name. [Us]
• Shawne Merriman is suing Tila Tequila because he says she lied about claims that he "choked and attacked" her. But rather than suing her for defamation, he's going after her for intentional interference with contract and unfair competition because he says she was trying to ruin his career. [TMZ]
• Courtenay Semel thinks Tila Tequila's engagement to Casey Johnson is a stunt. "We're talking about the biggest fame whore in LA, and the other one — I think she's just lost her mind!" said Semel. [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Taylor Swift straightened her hair. [People]
• Richard Heene, Mark Sanford, Jon Gosselin and Glenn Beck made FAIL Blog's list of 2009's biggest losers, and Imma let them finish, but KANYE WEST WAS VOTED THE TOP FAIL PERSON OF THE YEAR! [People]
• Alicia Keys says of Beyonce, who recorded a duet with Keys for her new album, "Her and I together was like reunited sisters - most people get in the studio and don't get a chance to really collaborate, be in one room, we were in one room having a ball." [The Mirror]
• Several bouncers at Jay-Z's 40/40 Club in Atlantic City have been fired after video surfaced of them beating two men in the club's parking lot last month. [TMZ]
• A source says of Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan, "They are getting to know each other... He's a nice guy." [Extra]
• Chris Brown called in to a Seattle radio station to promote his new album, but when the DJ asked about Rihanna, Chris said, "I'm really done talking about the whole situation ... I'm just moving forward." The DJ replied: "Fuck that, did Rihanna throw you under the bus or what?" And Chris' handlers hung up. [TMZ]
• Though there is no official Susan Boyle merchandise, there is an estimated £5 million a year market for Boyle-themed merchandise. [Blackbook Magazine]
• Pamela Anderson is doing a two week stint as the Genie of the Lamp in a London performance of Aladdin, but she cancelled her two premiere performances due to unspecified "issues." [Daily Express]
• Pamela Bach has been charged with DUI for failing a breathalyzer test on November 28. Since she has a prior DUI from earlier this year, she'll do a minimum of five days in jail if convicted. [TMZ]
• Axl Rose missed a soundcheck last night in Taiwan for an upcoming Guns n' Roses concert. It may be because he got into a fight with a paparazzo at LAX that "ended up with a few bloodied participants." [Rolling Stone]
• James Caan's wife Linda Cann is requesting full custody of their two minor children in their divorce. [TMZ]
• In Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People" special last night, Lady Gaga was shown kissing a woman, but Adam Lambert kissing a dude at the AMAs was edited out. An ABC rep says: "It was an editorial decision to show very little from the performance and focus on the fresh, new interview with Adam Lambert," though much of the interview was about the kiss. He continued: "The Lady Gaga kiss was used quickly in context of things that upset her father." [TMZ]
• The Lilith Fair is coming back this summer and the lineup includes Mary J. Blige, Sarah McLachlan, and Sheryl Crow. Check out the full list here: [Perez Hilton]
• Amanda Peet announced she and her husband David Benioff are expecting their second child. [Perez Hilton]
• James Van Der Beek is dating model Kimberly Brook. [People]
• Miley Cyrus' song "The Climb," which was featured in Hannah Montana: The Movie was replaced in the Grammy nominations for best song written for a soundtrack by "All Is Love," which Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs wrote for Where The Wild Things Are. Miley's people say the song was submitted in that category by mistake, but the Grammy organization didn't offer any explanation. [People]
• Spike Jonze says he and Dave Eggers didn't speak to any children before writing the screenplay for Where The Wild Things Are. "I think it's interesting because not having children - Dave and I didn't have children at the time - we wrote it from our memories of childhood as opposed to our experiences as a parent observing a kid," he said. [The Independent]
• Jenifer Lewis didn't exactly crash President Obama's inauguration, but she did manage to trick security. Her seat was far from center stage, "So I went over to a Marine, and I told a fib and said that I left my credentials on the plane. And he was standing there at attention with that beautiful uniform on. His head tilted just a little. He didn't want to break formation. And he said, 'Aunt Helen?' He happened to be a 'Fresh Prince' fanatic. And he proceeded to escort me 30 feet from the podium." [CBS News]
• "I've lived with people speculating about my health for decades, and I don't say this with sarcasm, but sadly, I've outlived so many who have prematurely buried me," says Elizabeth Taylor. "There are so many things in the world that are more important than my health watch." [USA Today]
• "I always felt like a very ordinary looking girl, and I found that dressing in a unique way made me feel less ordinary and more glamorous," says Dita Von Teese, adding, "I also used clothes as a way to counteract my extreme shyness when I was younger. I wore a lot of extravagant vintage hats, which can make people somewhat intimidated. I think people will only approach if they have something very, very interesting to say to the girl in the outrageous hat!" [People]
• Meryl Streep drank a martini at a party after a New York screening of It's Complicated "I had to," she said, "to get through this." Also, when someone yelled "It's hard to be Queen," at Meryl, she shot back, "I wouldn't want her problems, believe me!" [Showbiz 411]
• When he was in college, Eli Roth of Inglourious Basterds worked as a sex chat room operator, posing as a woman. "They hired guys because guys know what other guys want to hear," Roth said. "The creepy thing was, because this was in 1991, we only got doctors and scientists because they were the ones using the Internet." [BBC]
• Here are some words of wisdom by 50 Cent from Esquire's "What I've Learned" column: "Always have bail money," "Money is freedom. Money is a private plane. Money is no metal detection," and "Being shot defines how strong I am. It prepares you for the confusion of being an artist." [Esquire]

I'm one of those cultural Luddites who's been fighting to ignore Lady GaGa this year, but after this interview I might have to join the rest of the world in paying attention to her. This was a pretty kickass thing for her to say: "The truth is that every bit of me is devoted to love and art and I aspire to try to be a teacher to my young fans who feel just like I felt when I was younger, I felt like a freak. I guess what I'm trying to say is I wanna liberate them, I wanna free them of their fears and let them know they can create their own space in the world." Okay, world, you're right, she's in.


Kate Gosselin says all eight of her kids cried when they found out they were no longer going to be on TV.


An even smugger than usual (!) Sarah Palin recycles her tired old moose chili anecdote. She's the first person ever to appear on the special two years in a row :(


The most fascinating person of 2009, Michelle Obama, admits that she watches trashy cable TV to unwind. (But just for an hour a week.) The other Most Fascinating (to Barbara) people were: Brett Favre, Adam Lambert, Glenn Beck, Tyler Perry, Jenny Sanford, and Michael Jackson's kids, who, thankfully, were not interviewed.

[New York, December 8. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - DECEMBER 08: Lady Gaga performs at the launch of VEVO, the world's premiere destination for premium music video and entertainmentat Skylight Studio on December 8, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for VEVO)

• OMG. Is the world ready for little 4-year-old David Banda? Madonna says, when it comes to her work: "He knows every song, every word, every step, and he wants to wear all the costumes." And:

"He likes my dress that I wear in 'La Isla Bonita.'" Her Madgesty says that all of her kids are into dancing and "secretly" study with her dancers. But she insists they are not spoiled: "They get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it, and they're very grateful and appreciative for it. I think they are pretty balanced in terms of how they view fame or celebrity or things like that. I think it took them a while to adjust, but I think they're okay about it." [People]

• Bruce Springsteen has posted a statement on his website: "Like many of you who live in New Jersey, I've been following the progress of the marriage-equality legislation currently being considered in Trenton. I've long believed in and have always spoken out for the rights of same sex couples… I urge those who support equal treatment for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to let their voices be heard now." [AP, BruceSpringsteen.net]
• Buff Werewolf Taylor Lautner will be on Saturday Night Live this weekend, and in a video promo at the link featuring Taylor and Kristen Wiig, nothing funny happens. [JustJared]
• Julia Roberts got drunk and silly at a celebrity charades fund-raiser, saying things like, "I can't fucking lose on this!" And: "I usually go to sleep at 8:15! Let's have fun! I'm wearing tight pants and my kids are asleep!" [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• On Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People, Kate Gosselin said that her kids miss the TLC cameras and were all "sobbing" at the loss of their pals: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day," Kate told Babs. "They kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.'" Lady, you need to start saving for therapy. Plus eight. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People" are: Glenn Beck, Lady Gaga, Kate Gosselin, Jenny Sanford (the wife of wandering South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford), Tyler Perry, Michael Jackson's three kids and Adam Lambert. Wait, isn't that 9? "A lot of people nobody had ever heard of last year," Babs says. "And a lot of it is about sexuality." [NY Post]
• Susan Boyle dreamed a dream and it came true! She sang on stage with Elaine Paige. The performance will air as part of a TV special. [Telegraph]
• 90 minutes before Tiger Woods' car crash, his wife, Elin, called Rachel Uchitel and yelled at her, "I know everything." Elin hurled a cellphone at Tiger and broke his tooth, then grabbed a golf club and chased him around the house. He ran to his car barefoot to get away from her. Allegedly. [NY Post via Star Magazine]
• Tiger Woods' reps offered a witness with "detailed knowledge" of Tiger's affair with Rachel Uchitel $200,000 to STFU. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' best friend, Byron Bell, is getting married this weekend, and the bride is a sales rep for Nike. Tiger Woods is the face of Nike Golf, which is how Byron and the lady met. [TMZ]
• Is Beyoncé working on a lucrative, long-term contract with Wynn Las Vegas? [AP]
• Nicolas Cage's ex, Christina Fulton, claims he promised her a house but the evicted her — and, in addition, inflicted her with "mental, physical and emotional abuse" during their relationship. Which ended 15 years ago. She wants $13 million. [TMZ, People]
• Sienna Miller and Jude Law are on, and they don't even care who knows it. [Page Six]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood and girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova: Splitsville. Ronnie's relationship with Katya, as she is known, was responsible for the end of Ronnie's 23-year marriage to wife Jo. [Daily Mail]
• John Stamos says his "racy" pix are so tame he's going to release them himself! Blackmailers were trying to extort $680,000 from Uncle Jesse, even though the snaps just show John posing with fans. [NY Post]
• Danity Kane's Aubrey O'Day was seen "shaking everything she's got" in front of Samantha Ronson, who was not interested. [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson allegedly left his Las Vegas mansion a wreck; the place needs $234,000 (from Michael's estate) to repair damages. [TMZ]
• Matt Damon's dad is sick. [Alfre Woodard's daughter, Mavis Spencer, has been named 2010 Miss Golden Globe. She's an aspiring model and soon-to-be Columbia University freshman… And she's gorgeous. [ET]
• Coming to a theater near you on Valentine's Day, 2011: Pretend Wife, starring Adam Sandler and, maybe, Jennifer Aniston. The plot is under wraps but I imagine the two will PRETEND to like each other, hijinks will ensue, and they'll fall in love. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Josh Brolin: Being considered for a role in Men In Black 3. Why MIB3 is being considered is another story. [LA Times]
• If you want to see a KTLA newsguy go off on Perez Hilton, there's a video at the link. Dude calls the blogger a "talentless dope" and says: "We've been here long before Perez Hilton upchucked his way onto the scene and we'll be here long after he slithers away." [Fishbowl LA]
• There's been a possible break-in and theft at Nicky Hilton's house… Has the Beverly Hills Burglar Bunch struck again? [Pete Doherty. [Independent]
• The Craft star Rachel True has a stalker with a disgusting mind. The woman was arrested outside Rachel's house with a "large sex toy" in her possession. More lurid details at the link. [TMZ]
• RIP As The World Turns. My grandmother watched, and after she died, my grandfather watched. My mom watched, and me, my brother and sister watched in the summer. Meg Ryan, Julianne Moore and Marisa Tomei were all on the show before doing movies. End of an era! [NY Post]
• "I could be coming to Broadway. I sure want to. And nobody knows this. I haven't told anyone. You're the first to know. That is, if there's something to know… actually, it could even be off-Broadway. Right now it was just a reading, but I'm excited at the possibility. Who knows?" — Roseanne Barr might work with Ethan Hawke's theater company. [Cindy Adams]
• "We were together for a year, and we just started breeding. We were like, 'Let's have a baby!' And eight days later…" — Jennifer Garner, on her family planning with Ben Affleck. She also says: "I can live with Ben working crazy hours. But I can't live without girlfriends… It's fine if he's not there; I just need someone to bitch about it to." [Page Six via W]
• "I used to paint fried eggs. I was in a phase" — Shakira, in the upcoming issue of W magazine, on her amateur art career. [Page Six]
• "I can't remember when I was last carrying a film. To have a man's story entrusted to me has been very rare. It's in your hands. You have three wonderful co-stars, but basically [my character] George is yours for the day." — Colin Firth on Tom Ford's film A Single Man. [Reuters]
• "With each decade I've enjoyed a fuller feeling of womanliness. I'm healthy, busy and happy. I've nothing to complain about. And I like my body now. I have more curves. They come from age, but I don't care. I'm just glad they're there. At 40, I had my daughter Charlotte, and that was so exciting. At 50, I had just enough age really to appreciate all the good things. And at 60 I feel – touch wood – one has all the wisdom that one's accumulated, the perspective that it's a joyous thing to work with other people." — Sigourney Weaver, who also says she will not get Botox: "Actors' faces have to move. Yes, we want to see perfect people but we also want to see people who look like us. It's just about skin care to me and maybe exercise. I feel I've earned my laughter lines." [Telegraph]
• "I wanted to do the suicide scene, but was told it wouldn't be appropriate. I've also had to tone things down generally. But it doesn't matter, because I'm a massive fan of the queen. I was so excited and have even been practicing my curtsy." — Lady Gaga, on meeting Queen Elizabeth. [NY Post]
• "I'd love to be an assassin. Either that or a lesbian. Maybe both. Hey, a gay assassin, there's nothing hotter than that. Megan Fox would play my girlfriend — hands down. She's yummy. She's hot. All humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl." — Rihanna, when asked about future acting roles. [The Sun]

• A photo has surfaced of Jessica Simpson out with Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins on Friday night. A source says they're "officially dating... she has fallen hard and is smitten."

• Another source says her posse isn't excited about her latest beau. "He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," says the source. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.'" [E!]
• Elin Nordegren's mother, Barbro Holmberg, was identified as the woman rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home this morning. She's at home now, resting comfortably. [Extra]
• TMZ obtained the dispatch notes from the 911 call from Tiger Woods' home today, which contain nothing interesting. [TMZ]
• According to a source at the hospital, Barbro Holmberg was suffering from stomach pains. [TNZ]
• Gatorade is shutting down production of Tiger Woods Focus Gatorade, but a rep insists, "We made the decision several months ago... our relationship with Tiger continues." [TMZ]
• Star claims Elin Nordegren confronted Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel twice before Thanksgiving. A friend of Rachel's says, "Rachel denied she had an affair with Tiger, and told her, ‘I've walked your husband to a table at [a NYC night club] Griffin, made sure everything was OK, and that's the extent of our relationship. It's ridiculous and crazy that people are saying that I slept with him.'" The second time she told Rachel, "I know everything," then threw her cell phone at Tiger. [Star]
• According to the dispatch log from Tiger Woods' SUV crash, Tiger's agent called the Florida Highway Patrol on the day after the accident to reschedule a meeting because, "He's still too sore from the accident." [TMZ]
• Dennis Rodman weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think people expect me to do it, you know, it's just Dennis. But Tiger, that's a different story... People expect him to be this loving husband and this loving father, and this, you know, when you have that much money and that much power, of course all the hoodrats and everybody is just gonna come all out of the woodwork." [Ok]
• This article blames Alexa Ray Joel's alleged suicide attempt on her mother, Christie Brinkley. She had just come back from vacation with her mom and a source claims, "They have knock-down, drag-out fights regularly over issues relating to Billy Joel." A former family employee adds, "She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father's genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too." [NY Post]
• Showbiz 411 insists that the Post story isn't true and points to an upbeat postcard from Turks and Caicos as proof that "Alexa had a great family holiday." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex-husband, may be the source of the negative stories. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources say Mickey Rourke will marry his 24-year-old Russian girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in April. "They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," says a source. [Daily Express]
• Though Elton John and his partner David Furnish are not allowed to adopt an HIV-positive Ukrainian toddler because the country does not recognize gay unions, they are working to make sure the boy and his brother "have the best health care, education and family options available to them." [AP]
• Madonna said she wound up giving her daughter Lourdes a bigger role in her "Celebration" music video because, "She's been doing rhythmic gymnastics for years and she's very flexible, she's a great dancer... it was one of those fluke things. We didn't intend for her to be in the video. We did intend for her to be in the part where she dresses up for the costumes, that we planned, but the other one where she was just dancing with the dancers... she's very friendly with the dancers and they kind of dragged her into it and you know, it was just a small little piece. It's great, she's a show girl." [Daily Express]
• Madonna says she doesn't know if her kids would rather have a "normal life," and "Anyways they don't have a choice, they're stuck with the mother they have and I think they realise there are pluses and minuses to it. I think sometimes they'd like to walk down the street and just feel like normal kids and that happens, and other times, you know, they get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it and they're very grateful and appreciative for it." [Daily Express]
• Kate Gosselin says her kids are distraught over not being on TV anymore. Kate says: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.' ...Eight sobbing kids driving home from school." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin spent more than three hours serving food at a Raleigh, North Carolina restaurant as cameras filmed her. Her bodyguard Steve Neild told reporters to leave and said she was shooting a test segment for a future program. [WRAL]
• Pauly Shore is suing his brother and accusing him of elder abuse. Pauly claims their mother has been "rendered susceptible to unscrupulous behavior and other undue influence because of her condition," and says his brother improperly removed him from the board of directors as The Comedy Store in Hollywood. [Radar Online]
• Bryant Gumbel has lung cancer and had a malignant tumor removed from his chest last month. "We had told a few people, we told my family, obviously. I even kept it from my staff at Real Sports. So I'm okay for the time being," he said. "I'm hoping they greenlight me to play golf again." [People]
• Though former Geffen Records executive John Kalodner says Lenny Kravitz should take over for Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Kravitz says, "As much as I am flattered that Aerosmith's camp would consider me to front the band, Steven Tyler is a family friend, and no voice could ever take the place of his. I hope the band stays together. They are classic." [Daily Express]
• David Guest just realized taking Michael Jackson's advice about cosmetic surgery was a bad idea. "I had surgery when I was very young and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Michael Jackson kept saying, 'You should have plastic surgery.' I got my nose done and he said, 'Do more, do more!' It was stupid," he said. "If I had my way, I'd go back to my original big nose with a bit of a hook in it. It looked great." [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal has been visiting Redmond O'Neal every week in rehab. "Redmond and Ryan are working on their relationship. Both of them are working towards a positive and healthy father and son relationship," says a source. [Radar Online]
• In the 911 call David Hasselhoff's daughter Hayley made on Thanksgiving weekend she says: "My dad just ... he's collapsed. He's standing up but he keeps falling back down ... But then he got back up and he's fine. It's kind of scaring me." [People]
• Nicole Kidman says she likes to focus on her health rather than how much she weighs. "As Keith's a musician there are pitstops at Wendy's" she says, "But I'm six-foot tall, so it's not weight that's an issue for me, but things like cholesterol." [People]
• In the 911 call made when Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack was taken to the hospital from LAX last month, the caller says he "stopped breathing" but they "revived him." [TMZ]
• Bob Geldof attacked the U.K. family court for conducting "state-sanctioned kidnap" by holding closed custody hearings, adding: "In the near future the family law under which we endure will be seen as barbaric, criminally damaging, abusive, neglectful; harmful to society, the family, the parents and the children in whose name it purports to act." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand says it was easy for him to win over Katy Perry's parents because, ''They love the old school Englishness. There's a thing where the mom said 'Nothing's impossible', and I went, 'well, of course, Nelson Mandela said that everything is impossible until it's done', and she went, 'Oh', and she really enjoyed that... Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought, 'well, this has got a huge scope for disaster' but it's actually been quite good so far." [The Telegraph]
• Justin Bobby, Speidi, Kristin Cavallari, and Audrina Patridge will be back for The Hills sixth season according to an MTV spokesperson. [People]
• Mel Gibson's estranged wife Robyn Gibson has filed court papers requesting to see copies of his Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild health and pension plans. [Radar Online]
• Travis Barker has settled his lawsuit against defendants over the plane crash he was injured in. [TMZ]
• Celine Dion says she's going to keep trying IVF even though it turned out she wasn't pregnant this summer. "We have a wonderful child, we're extremely happy," she said. "It's not like, 'Oh my god, she's not pregnant and she's depressed,' " she continues. "You know how it works. We are great. We hope for the best, we hope to get pregnant. If it happens, it happens." [People]
• Shakira says she owes her success to her parents taking her to the park to show her kids worse off than her on the day they declared bankruptcy. "That day I made myself a promise," she said. "I promised that I would someday succeed to vindicate my parents' social and economic position. But I also wanted to do something about those kids I saw so abandoned by the state, abandoned to their own luck, without any chances to change their destinies." [CNN]
• When asked how she got into character as the grandmother of a dead girl in The Lovely Bones, Susan Sarandon said, "I drank and smoked and partied down. No, I didn't do that. I think I probably had the easiest job of anyone, because I was going against all the really difficult feelings and trying to keep everybody moving forward and remembering to live and letting the light in, literally. Plus, I was always drinking and smoking, so I have lots of props - so it was actually pretty fun." [NY Magazine]
• Sigourney Weaver says of her new film Avatar, "You won't have seen anything like it. This film is going to change the way we look at movies. The whole movie is in 3-D, even normal scenes between two people. So you feel you're in the room with these characters. You're always in the best seat in the house." [The Telegraph]
• Of being called the "Bear Jew" in Inglourious Basterds, Eli Roth says, "Well it's funny because I've always been compared to some sort of animal. On Cabin Fever they called me hair director. On Hostel one of the Czech extras saw me in a tank top and casually referred to me as Gorilka" which is Slovak for gorilla. So from that point on, it was over. Everyone was always, "Where's Gorilka? We need Gorilka on set! There was a girl who nicknamed me wolfie, so I've always been compared to some sort of furry animal. So I just embraced it — and Bear Jew felt like the natural evolution." [N.Y. Post]
• Viggo Mortensen makes a good point about why we shouldn't underestimate Sarah Palin: "I think it would be unwise to dismiss her because she is foolish and misinformed. People say there's no way she will hold any significant office, in Congress, or as president. Don't be so sure. I notice she's starting to sound relatively eloquent in that superficial way she has: ‘We gotta cut taxes and we can't keep penalizing small business'-that same old litany. She's not saying anything significant but she's stringing the words together and she's not just saying, ‘Aw shucks, I just killed a moose in Alaska.' She's stringing the words together as well as George W. Bush did in the beginning... They realized they couldn't make [Bush] sound like somebody who actually read books and cared about how he sounded-even though he had the benefits of the best possible education. It just wasn't interesting to him to sound like he made sense and to speak English anywhere near well. But what they did, very cleverly, is say, OK, he's just like us. He makes mistakes when he says stuff; he's a regular guy. And I can see the same thing happening with Palin. So do not underestimate her ability. She's not going away." [The Daily Beast]

[London, December 7. Image via INF]

• Angelina Jolie has a "secret family" she's "kept hidden for years."

She's been paying to support seven orphans — three girls and four boys — at the SOS Children's Village in Amman, Jordan. During her recent visit to the Middle East, she took Brad to see the kids, who live together in one house with a foster mother. Image at the link and, as always, consider the source. [National Enquirer]

• Beyoncé threw a star-studded 1920s-themed birthday party in the Dominican Republic for Jay-Z's 40th; Kanye West, Amber Rose, Diddy, Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson, Alicia Keys, Lyor Cohen and Tory Burch were in attendance. [Mirror, Page Six]
• As seen in a Snap Judgment, Lady Gaga met the Queen of England last night; the former wore a modest latex gown. On stage, she wore an Elizabethan collar, and played a Dali-esque piano 30 feet in the air from a cushion suspended by chains. The very definition of restraint! [Daily Mail]
• A woman was rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home in Florida this morning. All we know is that she is blonde, and that the ambulance was followed by a car with another blonde woman driving. [Newser, People]
• The assumption is that the person in the hospital is Elin Nordegren's mom. [TMZ]
• TMZ has a random blurry pic of Tiger Woods chatting up a waitress at a Las Vegas nightclub. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods will not be the best man at Byron Bell's wedding this weekend — Tiger's not even going to the event. [TMZ]
• TMZ saw the admissions chart when Tiger was in the hospital the day after Thanksgiving and paperwork says Tiger was there because of an "OD." [TMZ]
• A Florida trooper tried to get Tiger Woods' blood results from the hospital — suspecting DUI — but was denied. Preferential treatment? [CBS News]
• Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren has purchased a mansion in Sweden; it's on a small, secluded island reachable from Stockholm only by ferryboat. Will she move there? [NY Daily News]
• Tiger Woods' mistress Jaimee Grubbs was given a VIP table next to Lauren Conrad and near Leighton Meester at an LA club. Why? That's unclear. But this column is titled "Tiger's Tails Live It Up." [Page Six]
• FYI: George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis are still dating, though you may have heard a rumor that they broke up. Her dad says: "My daughter is happy and at peace… There is genuine affection between my daughter and Clooney." [UPI]
• 50 Cent says: "Susan Boyle is hot right now. I got to get her on a track, for real." OMG that could be awesome. Fiddy adds: "She's cool. I'd love to take her clubbing, show her around my world. She'd have a great time." [PopEater via Mirror]
• Lindsay Lohan is headed to India, where she's filming a BBC documentary about impoverished kids. [Page Six]
• LOL: "Madonna stayed away from Courtney Love at the bash for Tom Ford's movie, A Single Man." [Page Six]
• Just when you thought that Tiger Woods had knocked these fools out of the news: Hailey Glassman calls Jon Gosselin "a monster" in this video. She says Jon and Kate Major and told her that Kate Major was going to "pretend" to be Jon's girlfriend to take the tabloid heat off of her. "Stupid me," Hailey says. She explains that then she found out that Jon slept with Kate Major. Hailey also says: "I was with a liar. I loved a liar. I was lied to constantly." [Radar Online]
• Um... Hailey Glassman is still living with Jon. And: "I'm not on speaking terms with my mother because of Jon. He's thrown a huge fork in my family. That's the saddest part about all of this. When all the cheating accusations came out I'd catch him lying, he'd call my mother and tell her 'I love Hailey, I would never cheat on her. Those other girls are whores and they're trying to extort money from me.' At that point I would break up with Jon and tell him to leave me alone. My mom would then come to me and say, 'Jon's a great guy.' He would manipulate my mother because he knew my mother and I were best friends. He would manipulate my mother to get back to me and I would forgive him." For the love of God. [Radar Online
• Jon Gosselin was named the "most provocative" person of the year by HLN. "Jon Gosselin was the tabloid train-wreck gift who just kept on giving!" says Showbiz Tonight senior executive producer David Levine, with glee. [CNN]
• Alexa Ray Joel is recovering at her father's estate in Long Island. [NY Daily News]
• This columnist notes that Alexa Ray Joel is "a piano woman in an age dominated by Beyoncés and Rihannas, a torch singer with a taste for Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald, writing her own music, booking her own gigs, and distributing her CDs independently. The fact that she has skills and a couple of famous parents didn't necessarily make her artistic life easier… what happened this weekend was also a poignant reminder of just how dispiriting it can be to be a young artist at a time when record deals only seem to go to reality-show contestants, and radio consolidation has made it harder for niche artists to find an audience." [The Daily Beast]
• ABC may have had issues with Adam Lambert, but not Fox — he'll be singing on So You Think You Can Dance. [Page Six]
• Mickey Rourke will marry his girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in Moscow in April; his thrid marriage and her first. Mickey and Elena met when she was coaching him in Russian dialogue for Iron Man 2. [Page Six]
• Kate Bosworth will star in Lost Girls & Love Hotels, written by Nadia Conners and directed by Young Victoria's Jean-Marc Vallee. She'll play a woman who tries to forget her past by living in Tokyo, where she's a flight attendant trainer by day and "sex- and drug-addled" by night. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Tori and Candy Spelling are communicating, says Dean McDermott. "Candy has seen the kids, which is what this is all about." Does this mean that they're no longer using the media as voicemail? [People]
• Peeps in LA: Prepare yourselves for a Pee-Wee comeback! He is doing a new stage play — The Pee-Wee Herman Show — with puppets and all of the original characters: Chairry, Genie, Conky, Magic Screen, Miss Yvonne and Cowboy Curtis. All the original actors from the TV show will play their parts on stage, except for Laurence Fishburne, who has a previous commitment. But Fishburne says if there is a movie, he'll get a Jheri curl and be there. [CNN]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Amy Adams would like to know the sex of her fetus. "I thought about waiting and I just don't think that's really my personality," she explains. "It's not about planning a nursery, it's more about I just want to know. I want to be able to relate in that way. That's what works for me, but I totally believe in whatever works for the individual." [People]
• On a German TV show, Hugh Grant embraced a comedian named Anke Engelke, and she recoiled, cringed and made a face. Why, yes, there are pix at the link. [People]
• Joely Richardson says: "I cannot imagine that there will ever be a day when I don't think of [my sister] Natasha." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand has returned from a four-day retreat in which he studied the art of transcendental meditation. Now he can stop contemplating the universe and go back to focusing on Katy Perry's assets. [The Sun]
• Leona Lewis was flown to Monte Carlo over the weekend, where she was paid six figures to sing for "one of Romania's richest men." Maybe she changed the lyrics? Keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding cash. [The Sun]
• Porn star Janine Lindemulder lost her request for expanded visitation rights for her 5-year-old daughter with ex-husband Jesse James (who is now married to Sandra Bullock). [LA Times]
• A nude photograph taken by David Bailey of Roman Polanski and wife Sharon Tate — taken shortly before she was brutally murdered — sold for $11,250 at an auction on Monday. [Reuters]
• No weasel jokes: Pauly Shore is suing his brother, accusing him of elder abuse against their mother, who has Parkinson's. [Radar Online]
• "Two physicians accused of over-prescribing addictive medication to Anna Nicole Smith will fight efforts by the state medical board to bar them from practicing medicine," [LA Times]
• The Dallas remake: Coming to a TV near you. [NY Daily News]
• "A judge has dismissed a misdemeanor domestic violence charge against gospel singer BeBe Winans after determining he had seen a counselor as required by prosecutors." [USA Today]
• "On my first day [on the set of Space Cowboys], he came into the hair and makeup trailer, and the 13-year-old girl in me took over. I flung myself across the trailer and hugged him — and I hugged him hard. I said 'Hi, I'm Marcia Gay Harden!' and he said, 'I know, I cast you.'" — Marcia Gay Harden, on meeting Clint Eastwood. [Gatecrasher]
• "[Many young American actresses] have a Nickelodeon quality to their acting, like they're goofing. We needed a girl who looked like she was from 1973 and who got the reality of the story. Saoirse is fiercely courageous. In a way, I like to think that Susie Salmon found us." — director Peter Jackson. He and Stanley Tucci both sing the praises of Lovely Bones star, 15-year-old Irish actress Saoirse Ronan — whom you may have seen in Atonement — at the link. [USA Today]
• "[A bully] calls up my phone and he's like, 'Is Taylor there?' and I just handed it to my bodyguard and I was like, 'John, give him a talking to.' So he's like, 'Yo, you don't ever call this number ever again. I put my fist through your face.' It was really great. It was effective." — Taylor Swift. [MSNBC]
• "If I have to go out on stage and, you know, jump around in a pair of hot pants I better look good, and also when I perform I'm like an athlete, I have to be in good shape. I'm not panicked, I just know what my job is, and I know that if I want to be able to wear whatever I want to wear on stage, then my body better look good." — Madonna. [MSNBC]

[London, December 7. Image via Getty]

[London, December 6. Image via INFDaily.]

• Wait wait wait wait. Did Lindsay Lohan spend the night at Jason Segel's house?

Apparently he came outside and told nosy paparazzi that she was not inside. An hour later, she emerged. [Daily Mail]

• The photographer who shot Lindsay Lohan in a ménage-à-trois situation for Muse magazine, Yu Tsai, says: "When you see her nipple, it just happened in the moment. She was playing the role of Kate Moss — you're at a party and you are with a guy you really love and another girl. She is stunning and radiates in the pictures. Lindsay is incredibly focused where it comes to her career and fashion is her passion. It's raw, it's exposed, this is her at her best. She told me: 'I want to make this iconic.'" So; the nipple shot was in the moment, huh? What about the bare-assed shot? [Page Six]
• Madonna could possibly adopt again. "Never say never," she told a TV news reporter. [Daily Express]
• Is Britney's dad's conservatorship coming to an end? Jamie Spears actually has two: one over Britney as a person; another over her business affairs. The business conservatorship will likely continue, but Britney may get some freedom back. [TMZ]
• "Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, the American actors, have made it into Who's Who 2010, adding a 'touch of Hollywood glamour' to the list of new entrants." [Telegraph]
• Diane Sawyer has announced that this is her last week on Good Morning America. She will take over the World News anchor chair for Charles Gibson, who retires December 18. [Good Morning America]
• Christopher Cuomo has resigned from ABC, where he was the is co-anchor of Good Morning America and a regular contributor to ABC Evening News. Is it because people are saying George Stephanopolous will take over for Diane Sawyer? [Radar Online]
• mediabistro.com's TV Newser column declares: "Reports of Chris Cuomo's Resignation Untrue." [TV Newser]
• Alexa Ray Joel is out of the hospital. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources claim that Alexa Ray Joel took pills after fighting with an ex-boyfriend. [Extra, People]
• Alexa Ray Joel's ex-boyfriend, Johnny Riot, says: "I don't know how she's doing." [NY Daily News]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are heating up again, and you know, I hope those crazy kids make it work. Adorable. [Gatecrasher]
• Over the weekend, Jake Gyllenhaal said: "Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but [being around their kids has] opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it." Does using the word "girlfriend" mean that he and Reese have not broken up? [Gatecrasher]
• Tiger Woods is a regular at two bars in Orlando, FL — people who work at the Blue Martini say that Tiger is "really friendly" with the waitresses and at a bar called 23, the private lounge is called the Tiger Room — where Tiger's tab is around $1,500 a night. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' fourth alleged mistress, Jamie Jungers, is a former Trashy Lingerie "Trashy Girl," as you can see in the pictures at the link. [E!, E!]
• This post claims that Tiger Woods made the decision to pay off Rachel Uchitel after a "secret phone call" in which she made it clear that was not the one who leaked the story of their affair. And: "Tiger felt it was important to silence Uchitel more than any other woman because his relationship with her was current and intense." [Radar Online]
• More women may come forward to say they've been involved with Tiger Woods. An anonymous Las Vegas nightclub owner says: "He wasn't one to send away someone who was interested. There was a revolving door of women with Tiger. I can think of half a dozen off the top of my head." [MSNBC Scoop]
• One alleged mistress says that Tiger Woods told her his marriage was a sham and "only for publicity." [NY Daily News]
• Tiger Woods' best friend, Byron Bell — the one who bought tickets for Rachel Uchitel to join Tiger in Australia — is getting married next week. Tiger is the best man. [TMZ]
• Wait, what? "Tiger Woods Alienates Black Community With White Lovers." You mean golf didn't do it? One blogger says: "If Tiger Woods had cheated on his gorgeous white wife with black women, the golfing great's accident would have been barely a blip in the blogosphere." [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look who's on the January cover of Golf Digest? Tiger Woods. And Barack Obama. [The Life Files, WSJ]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Amy Adams is pregnant. She and fiancé Darren Legallo have yet to set a wedding date. [NY Daily News]
• Clothingus strippis! The new Harry Potter flick will feature a "very sexy" love scene in which Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson are NAKED. Doubt that we'll see Harry's wand, though. It ain't Equus. [Telegraph]
• Susan Boyle is still at the top of the album charts in the UK. [Mirror]
• Matt Damon thinks a fourth Jason Bourne movie will happen "someday." He adds: "It's gotta happen - we've just got to get a script, and we don't have one." The thing is, he wants to do it with director Paul Greengrass, who recently said he wasn't interested in returning to the franchise. "I wouldn't do it with anybody else." [MTV News]
• Rihanna high-fived a young woman wearing the same outfit at her album launch party. [Gatecrasher]
• Shakira will speak at the Oxford Union debating society in front of Oxford University students. [The Star]
• Helen Mirren keeps her Oscar, SAG Awards, BAFTAs, Golden Globes and Emmys in her attic. At the Women in Film and TV Awards – where she won a Lifetime Achievement award — she was asked how a Lifetime Achievement prize made her feel. She said: "Old." [Telegraph]
• A Mexican governor plans to empty a prison in Veracruz in January so that Mel Gibson can film a movie there. [AP]
• "Harvard Medical School professor contends U.S. talk show host Nancy Grace is partially to blame for the suicide of a mother of a missing boy three years ago." [UPI]
• I didn't read this item about how Hulk Hogan wants his antique toilet seat back from his ex-wife because I don't want to know. [TMZ]
• Hotel Gramercy Park premieres tonight on the Sundance Channel, and luminaries such as Debbie Harry, Julian Schnabel, Karl Lagerfeld, Ben Stiller, Winona Ryder, Russell Simmons and Kanye West make appearances in the film. [Page Six]
• John McEnroe and rocker wife Patty Smyth: Spotted smoking a joint at an art exhibit. [Page Six]
• "I've tried, but I get too crazy with that guitar arm and the things coming toward you… I think the game is great… I think the graphics are great."— Ringo Starr has never played Beatles: Rock Band. [Mirror]
• "I didn't really have that many friends at school. Kids would just heckle me: 'Oh, go sing that country beep.' It just dawned on me that I had to love being different or else I was going to end up being dark and angry and frustrated by school. Sometimes I felt like I was some sort of spy because I would go to school during the day, and then, after school, I had this life that was completely different. I definitely was more nervous walking into my first day of freshman year in high school than I was walking up to record labels and handing them my CD." — Taylor Swift. [NY Times]
• "I felt like that was fun. I would do it exactly the same way. You know, I am who I am." — Adam Lambert wouldn't change a thing about his AMA performance. [Gatecrasher]
• "We definitely got bigger than we wanted to be. You feel like you've done something wrong. That woman in mom jeans who'd never let me date her daughter? She likes my music. That's fucking not cool. You almost start doing damage control: When people ask you to do stuff, you're like, ‘No, because I can already tell this record is going to get to a level where people will fucking hate us.'" — Caleb Followill of Kings Of Leon. [Gatecrasher via Spin Magazine]
• "I hid out for a while, but that just drove me crazy. I got cabin fever. I was ready to make music again. It was a hard time, but I found peace in the studio." — Rihanna, on the making of her new album, Rated R. [USA Today]
• "The bottom line is, I really don't know how to relax to the degree that I could just stop. So when something comes along and is presented to me, and I think, 'Gee, I could have some fun doing that,' or 'I think I could bring something to that,' I'll do it."— Angela Lansbury, who is on Broadway in A Little Night Music with Catherine Zeta-Jones. [CBS News]
• Where do you live? "The May Fair hotel." But you must have a home somewhere? "My home is onstage." Where do you keep your things? "I have storage." Not even an apartment? "No. I don't care about those things. I tell my fans this little poem I wrote: For every minute of the day, The truth is that I'm dead, Until I'm here onstage with you -Then I'm alive instead." — from an interview with Lady Gaga. [Times Of London]
• "I'm not trying to be the girlfriend. I'm just kind of game. Often the role they send me is a man's role, written with a man in mind. But character is character; it's not about gender. Writers write these male stereotypes, and it makes it ten times more interesting if a woman says the lines." — Sigourney Weaver on the kind of roles she gets or looks for. Also, she says she once went to the White House, during the Reagan administration, when an 11-year-old Saudi Arabian prince and Ghostbusters fan had requested her presence at a dinner… he was disappointed that she didn't turn up as Zuul. [New York Mag]
• "He hissed at me yesterday. I tried to explain to him but he doesn't understand concepts such as international travel and work. He certainly doesn't understand the concept of a bikini. I am getting him a pet passport which means he can travel around as much as he likes. Unfortunately, they don't do photos. I was really looking forward to that." — Russell Brand on his cat, Morrissey. [Mirror]
• "I started auditioning here and I had the accent, the body and the attitude for the Latin woman, but they don't associate 'blond' with us. I went for a screen test, and they asked me to come with dark hair. I thought it looked better because I have darker eyebrows. So now they believe me that I'm Latin. [Laughs] I always joke that if they throw me in a chlorine pool, all my Latin is going away — my hair and my self-tanner!" — Sofia Vergara, on her role on Modern Family. She also says: "When I came to L.A., people started telling me I had to lose some weight. No one has ever told me in my life that I'm fat. Or that my breasts were too big! When I told my mother that my reps want me to get a reduction, she went crazy. 'God is going to punish you if you cut your [breasts].' …Mine are natural, so they go here and they go there and there's no dress that picks them up! When they told me to lose weight, I was like, are they playing a joke on me? I've always been known for my body! . . . . The thing is I did lose a little weight because I understand that standing next to the stick figures, I don't look as good in pictures. My friend says that the other actresses look better than me on TV because they're skinny. And I'm like, 'Yeah, but I look better naked!'" [LA Times]

In an interview with the Times of London the Lady breaks it down as such:

It's part pop show, part performance art, part fashion installation. It came about because as an artist, as a writer, as a woman, I feel I've evolved so much.

My evolution is from the beginning of time, so I start as a cell [she shows me a costume like a geodesic dome], and then I become a vertebrate, and then I become a full animal, and there's the birth of the economy, and trade and war, and then it's the Apocalypse. Because we as a society are taught politically and religiously that the Apocalypse is coming, it's on its way. But what I'm saying with my show is, ‘We're there right now: this is the Apocalypse.' The fact that we're surrounded by cement and we've already killed everything means the Apocalypse has happened.

So the idea for me is to give a sense of repose and solace to my fans, that we're here, we did it already, and now it's about accepting where we are and looking more joyfully into the future. And then the Apocalypse is over and the stage becomes very minimal and all that's left is me with a piano, in the middle of the destruction.

Kind of puts Britney's circus to shame, doesn't it?

Shady Lady: The Truth About Pop's Lady Gaga [TimesOnline]

[Image via INFDaily.]

[Camden, NJ; December 3. Image via Splash.]

Natalie Portman on Marie Claire

Representative Quote:

She got to spend three months in France when she was 11, shooting The Professional, and on her days off her mother would take her to Monet's house in Giverny and encourage her to come home and paint a version of what she'd seen. When she traveled to Japan for the premiere of The Professional, her parents insisted on a week off to explore the country. Portman shrugs: "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties," she says, "and yeah, I didn't touch pot till I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college. But I think that's a good thing in many ways."

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"Diet Or Exercise: Which Sheds The Pounds Faster?"

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

275. Which is either the number of brain cells you will shed reading "WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT BONKING THE BOSS?", or the number of Fabulous Finds To Start The New Year you, mere female, will need to get him in a bonking mood.

Britney Spears on Elle

Elle's Lady Gaga cover might be getting all the attention — but the January issue is actually hitting newsstands with a second cover, featuring Spears and her sons. Golf claps for Britney, everyone! Last time she tried to do an Elle shoot, something terrible happened.

Representative Quote:

Elle's Spears profile is not yet online, so let's nab another quote from Marie Claire.

A little-known fact about Portman is that for her very first acting job — as an off-Broadway understudy — she replaced Britney Spears. Needless to say, their paths have diverged wildly since then

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"DO YOU EXERCISE TO EAT? HERE'S A BETTER WAY."

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

175. The speed, in miles per hour, which this magazine might reach if you dropped it off a very tall building. Which would be more educational than reading about the BEST NEW SHOES, JACKETS, AND BAGS.

Lady Gaga on Elle

Representative Quote:

"I get all the symptoms of a pregnant woman. I get headaches, I get tired, I get blurred vision sometimes during a really intense session with [her creative team] the Haus."

WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WOMAN IS JUST PREGNANT WITH CREATIVITY?!

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

See above.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

See above.

Sarah Jessica Parker on Glamour

Representative Quote:

SJP: I still will not wear turtlenecks.

GLAMOUR: Why not?

SJP: I feel like I'm having a panic attack in them. I'm so short that the little bit of height I have is taken and consumed by the turtleneck. My son won't wear them, either!

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"SO TRUE! Why The Happiest Women Aren't Perfect."

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

50. Could that be the number of Your Most Private Questions that you could Answer, right now, by reading Wikipedia.

Scarlett Johanson on UK Harper's Bazaar

Representative Quote:

This comes from the mouth of Bono, who is interviewed alongside Johanson, because she wears (PRODUCT) RED clothing in the accompanying fashion shoot:

"I don't give a shit how things look anymore. I just want to get the results, get the cheque signed. If it takes me looking like a totally unhip white messiah, I don't care. You do whatever it takes to get people what they need to survive. For me, it was coming home that was the hardest. Coming back to my privileged life. I used to find that really difficult. It's hard when you find yourself in such a harsh juxtaposition with somebody who's fighting for their life. It used to make me feel more awkward than it does now, being this rich rock star next to a starving African."

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

Strangely, none. (The standard beauty and fashion stories look exceptionally inoffensive, or unexceptionally offensive.) Although as hard as it is to take a half dozen pages of Johanson nursing a bad case of sexyface in leopard print clothing, it's pretty odd that the cover implies she and Bono would bond over a serious consideration of music.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

2010, which is the year you might finally itemize your charitable donations for tax purposes, and briefly consider writing off the cost of Johanson's Tom Waits album. Since listening to it was clearly an act of charity on your part.

Kate Hudson on US Harper's Bazaar

Representative Quote:

"With a hot new movie and major-league man, Kate Hudson seems anything but normal. But the bubbly blonde is just like the rest of us (with fancier clothes, of course)."

Major League! Get it? Get it? No, she really doesn't say anything about A-Rod:

Isn't she moving fast? "People don't know where I'm moving," she counters good-naturedly. "They're just reading psychobabble in these [tabloid] magazines." Even when confronted with the evidence — a picture of her kissing A-Rod — she gamely holds her ground. "There's a guy that's shooting probably 60 frames a minute. That was a sideswipe on the cheek. That wasn't even a kiss." So she's not in love with this guy? "I quickly kissed the cheek," she maintains. "And I remember one of the headlines the next day said, MAKEOUT SESSION. What is wrong with people?

Hahaha, she didn't actually specify "tabloid" magazines.

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

Harper's Bazaar on this side of the pond is totally deficient in this category, too. "Get Gorgeous Hair" — much as our credulity doesn't stretch to believing such a thing could ever result from the use of ridiculously priced products — just doesn't raise my hackles.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

562. Either New Ideas to Update Your Look (again!), or Things You Might Make If You Treated This Issue Like An Origami Project.