The store itself is rather lovely, what with the chandeliers and whatnot.


In fact, if Santa wants to bring me this chandelier — and an apartment to put it in — that would be great.


The more champagne I drank, the more I wanted to shoplift.


People! Cluster around the booze, why don't you!


Some of the jewelry is gorgeous. Pearls are so very now.


Also very now: Gloves. Someone working the party told me these are "big in Japan."


The bling mesmerized me with its sparkleosity, not that that's a word.


It's by Kimora, of course.


Hello Kitty Mary Janes! As the kids say: WANT.


Luggage, sneakers, everything "luxe," everything Kitty-covered.


This silver stuff was in the kids' section, but I found it very attractive. As in lust-worthy.


One of these bling-covered Pez dispensers was in my gift bag. Delightfully impractical!


Here's a shirt for Malia and Sasha Obama: Presidential pound puppy for the win!


The legendary Lady Bunny was the DJ of this event. She played Britney's "Womanizer," Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" and some Deee-Lite.


Hello Kitty arrived on the scene!


So did Heatherette's Richie Rich. There used to be Hello Kitty/Heatherette mashup stuff, maybe he'll so some again?


The Bunny and the Kitty had some kind of vogue-off.


I think Hello Kitty won.


Lisa Loeb showed up, and was frickin' adorable.


Seriously.


Tinsley Mortimer arrived. She is no bigger than a newborn fawn.


Are the Japanese into her or something?


She's totally starring in Bambi 2:Electric Boogaloo. Tinsley was there very briefly, and I decided: If she's leaving, then so am I. But first:


Goodbye Kitty!

It's clear that he has sex on his mind. But when he's NOT thinking about getting laid, it seems that he enjoys stuffed animals. Elephants, especially. Plus, he's got quite a few tiny elephants in that charming wooden hutch behind him. I refuse to acknowledge the hideous bedspread. But honestly, people: Would you want to have sex in this room?

Here's another gentleman from Lurid Digs. The Candles are a romantic touch. Everything else screams "Marriot Courtyard." Which could be sexy, but in this case, simply isn't.

I'm not a total diva: I don't need satin sheets or 300 thread count (though it would be nice.) But I once dated a guy who was really into Planet Of The Apes. Do you know how hard it is to feel turned on when Cornelius is staring at you?

Anyway, these images got me thinking: What was the most hideous bedroom you've ever been in? Have you ever been in a guy's bedroom that was so awfully decorated that you could not have sex there? Have you experienced décor-as-prophylactic??? Spill, please!

Lurid Digs [Official Site - NSFW]
Boudoir Lulz [Ephemerist]
Adult Interior Design [Lady Bunny]

Actress Zoe Saldana was next to Nigel, wearing something shimmery. They were inundated by photographers and video cameras. I'd arrived at 2:45 for the 3pm show; it was 3:35 before two men in black t-shirts and black pants peeled back the protective plastic covering on the mirrored runway. Then: Darkness. The show started. Brazilian music, white bikinis, red retro one-pieces. Lots of red and white, then some green neutrals. Oh, and black models! I especially liked one white suit with a belt of bling; the hideous brown pirate sleeved cover-up that came later, not so much. In any case, if you're the beachy sort who has a swimsuit wardrobe, this show is for you. Gallery below.

Rosa Cha:

Later that night, it was still pouring like crazy, but I was back in midtown for the Patricia Field show at the Edison Ballroom on 47th street. Her line is designed by David Dalrymple, and the scene in the ballroom was less stuffy fashion show and more fabulous downtown party. The music was loud, there was an open bar, and the crowd! It was a mix of club types, celebs and drag queens.
Andre J was there!
Also: The Legendary Lady Bunny! Seen here with an absolutely shocked Vanessa Williams. Also in attendance from Ugly Betty: Ana Ortiz and Judith Light. Project Runway's Jack Mackenroth was in the front row, across from Patricia Field herself, who was never without a drink in her hand.

I arrived at 8:45 for a 9:00 PM show and at ten minutes after 10:00, I thought it would never start. Then Becki Newton, aka Ugly Betty's Amanda walked in and sat next to Jack Mackenroth, and the show started. While the clothes were hit and miss, the presentation — each model headed to a "destination" on stage: A cruise ship, a disco, a funeral, a car race — was pretty cool. Oh, and black models! Gallery below.

David Dalrymple For Patricia Field:

Sunday morning at 11:30 AM, I was back at the Tent for the Tracy Reese show, but there were protesters outside shouting, "DKNY has got to go!" It was sort of early for blood-splattered bunny suits, but I took a picture anyway.

Tracy Reese is one of the few black designers at New York Fashion Week. Sitting in the first seat in the first row — his seat number was A:1:1 — was Andre Leon Talley. Also in the front row: Miss Jay from America's Next Top Model, wearing jeans with elaborately stitched back pockets, Fashion Week prez Fern Mallis, Sanaa Lathan, and some people I couldn't see from where I was sitting, boo. Okay, the clothes: Dreamy, romantic, soft, with sparkle and beading. The trench coats were beautiful, in supersoft-looking fabrics, and there were some dresses with delicate fabric flowers or frothy appliqués that just looked heavenly. Looking at the pictures later, not everything looks as good as it did in person, but I liked the overall feel and mood.

Tracy Reese:

All in all, despite the weather, it was a typical fashion week experience: Lots of standing around waiting, some clothes, some booze, some celebrities. I don't know how the rest of the designers are faring, but I saw diverse runways at all three shows — Tracy Reese has always used Asian, black and white models. We'll see if this first weekend was a sign of things to come or if it all goes downhill from here.

[London, England; October 18. All images via Getty.]