When a magazine fails to edit out "like" & "um" from your quotes, is it fair to say they are trying to make sure you sound like an ignorant, incoherent valley girl?
Also, I choose Bette. Not the lipstick, just Bette.
Cosmo would beg to differ about the bread lines. They are writing an article about this right now.
"HOW TO SEX UP YOUR BREAD LINE! 1- Wear sexy lingerie under your secondhand clothes. Feel the satin and lace whisper against your thighs as you stand in the freezing snow to get some nutrients. 2- Bring along your boy toy! If the line is snaking around the block and you get tired of having to listen to everyone curse Henry Paulson and Richard Fuld, then you can just play "pin the cock on my tail!" 3- Request penis-shaped baguettes. Just for a laugh. 4- Put a scrunchie around your loaf of pumpernickel and call it a very bad boy.
@sarah.of.a.lesser.god (and the ovumlord of the rings): Bring along some of the candles you're using to light your home, since you can't afford heat, and make those trestle tables a little more sensual and romantic for your fellow diners! Plus then you'll have hot wax on hand for...later...
"Fattening white breads may nourish your belly, but they don't do any favors for your thighs! Emaciation is where it's at for every chic breadline this year, ladies!"
@BrutallyHonestBabes: Self will be sure to have a headline entitled "Keep Your Energy Up and Your Carbs Low: How to survive the recession by eating insects." It will be on the cover, right next to an airbrushed picture of Faith Hill.
@BrutallyHonestBabes: I just saw him last night in the movie "Close My Eyes". It was sort of not good, but Rickman was amazing in it and it features about 30 minutes of full-frontal nudity from Clive Owen. So I guess the movie was actually quite excellent.
Vivienne, the last time I wore my husband's boxers with my Christmas tablecloth as a shirt, it made my mother cry at dinner. Oh, and I was completely shitfaced. But really, it's a recipe for disaster. As is my Uncle Walt's eggnog recipe. I've said too much.
Oh! And here's a great way to get me REALLY wound up: get me in the same room with someone who thinks Uggs are the height of awesome, but thinks that Docs are icky. I'll be all like "OMG FIGHTING WORDS." Well, no, not really, but I will stay quiet and stare down at my bootlaces and secretly be opinionated. This is because I am shallow and insufferable.
It's immature, and it's horrible of me, and I should really be a better person, and I'm going to lose a lot of friends by saying this, but I bought a pair of Uggs a few years ago and HATED them, and I went sprawling, weeping, tumbling back into the waiting embrace of Dr. Marten.
Why yes Viviene Westwood I think I WILL wear my mans boxer briefs as outerwear. Whats that you ask? Why yes I DO reside in a mental institution, how did you guess?
12/23/08
Also, I choose Bette. Not the lipstick, just Bette.
12/23/08
"It's keeping those poor kids in Bangladesh employed making new frilly underthings."
"I was going to wear them, sell them on eBay, then donate the money to charity."
"Honestly, how was I ever going to get another promotion?"
12/23/08
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seamed stockings are to _________
12/23/08
Also, Jessica Simpson's footwear collection? I kind of like it... and it makes me feel wrong.
12/23/08
12/23/08
They're all kind of pin up-esque and super sassy.
12/23/08
"HOW TO SEX UP YOUR BREAD LINE!
1- Wear sexy lingerie under your secondhand clothes. Feel the satin and lace whisper against your thighs as you stand in the freezing snow to get some nutrients.
2- Bring along your boy toy! If the line is snaking around the block and you get tired of having to listen to everyone curse Henry Paulson and Richard Fuld, then you can just play "pin the cock on my tail!"
3- Request penis-shaped baguettes. Just for a laugh.
4- Put a scrunchie around your loaf of pumpernickel and call it a very bad boy.
12/23/08
12/23/08
12/23/08
"Fattening white breads may nourish your belly, but they don't do any favors for your thighs! Emaciation is where it's at for every chic breadline this year, ladies!"
12/23/08
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12/23/08
and it's totally on topic because he's Severus Snape and you mentioned Harry Potter. This is where my brain is today, folks.
12/23/08
*drool*
12/23/08
12/23/08
12/23/08
30 minutes of full-frontal nudity from Clive Owen
I'm sorry. I stopped listening after that.
12/23/08
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12/23/08
11/19/08
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11/19/08
It's immature, and it's horrible of me, and I should really be a better person, and I'm going to lose a lot of friends by saying this, but I bought a pair of Uggs a few years ago and HATED them, and I went sprawling, weeping, tumbling back into the waiting embrace of Dr. Marten.
I CAN'T HELP WHAT I AM. I AM SORRY JEZEBEL.
11/19/08
11/19/08
*gets weepy*
YES WE CAN. (Wear boots.)
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