Scientific American's resident provocateur Jesse Bering, who once cited Jezebel as an example of "acts of social aggression" among women, tackles bottle-feeding in the somewhat creepily titled article "Breasts in Mourning." He cites a study by evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup and colleagues. The study says,

Opting not to breastfeed precludes and/or brings all of the processes involved in lactation to a halt. For most of human evolution the absence or early cessation of breastfeeding would have been occasioned by miscarriage, loss, or death of a child. We contend, therefore, that at the level of her basic biology a mother's decision to bottle feed unknowingly simulates child loss.

The evidence: mothers who bottle-feed score higher on one measure of depression than breast-feeding moms, even after controlling for age, education, and socioeconomic and relationship status. Also, bottle-feeding moms apparently want to hold their babies more than those who breast-feed do. Somewhat bizarrely, the study authors believe this desire "parallels findings among nonhuman primates where in response to the death of an infant, mothers of some species have been known to tenaciously hold, cling to, and carry their infants for prolonged periods after they die." To which this admittedly lay-reader responds — don't moms like to hold their living infants too?

Bering does admit that "these women may simply want to make up for lost bonding time that would otherwise occur during breastfeeding." He also cautions that "the reasons for bottle-feeding are complex and many, and not all women have the luxury of a choice in this regard." However, he winds up his article (which is illustrated, somewhat incongruously, with a picture of Bering himself in front of some water) with the statement, "the present logic may give new meaning to the expression 'breast is best'-if not for infants, then at least for their mothers."

There may be physiological and psychological advantages to breast-feeding, but we're not yet convinced that "not treating your baby like a corpse" is one of them. Might the elevated depression bottle-feeding moms experience be caused not by a subconscious belief that the baby is dead, but by wanting to breast-feed and not being able to? If so, couldn't more paid maternity leave and flexible work hours help alleviate the problem? Moms who don't breast-feed may also feel inadequate, perhaps as a result of pro-breast-feeding rhetoric. We should be making it possible for mothers to breast-feed if they want to and physically can, but for those who can't — for medical or other reasons — giving yet another "new meaning" to "breast is best" isn't all that helpful.

Breasts In Mourning: How Bottle-Feeding Mimics Child Loss In Mothers' Brains [Scientific American]

According to a survey, 65% of British moms say they don't breast-feed because they're worried about people looking at them. And their fears may not be unfounded — 54% of women who do breast-feed they've been asked to leave the restaurant for doing so. Some have to retreat to their cars to feed their kids, and, in an unfortunate example of the differences between British and American English, "35 per cent admitted they were forced to feed their baby in a toilet."

Mammographer Ella Laseinde (pictured) has a solution to breast-feeding shyness: a special bib with a hole for the breast and a flap that goes over the baby's head. It may not cover the whole breast, but there are other options. Recent inventions include a curtain suspended from the mother's neck by a circular rod, or, for the baby, a wide-brimmed Breast-feeding Hat.

Breast-feeding advocate Dia Michels, however, doesn't think the solution lies in such innovations. She says,

The reason women are so freaked out about breast-feeding in public is because we have completely sexualized the breast. The only way to make breast-feeding easier for women is to desensitize the public to breast exposure. If these devices allow women to hide what they're doing and cover it because it's shameful and because it's embarrassing, it's just perpetuating the sexualization of the breast.

Desensitizing the public, however difficult, still seems like a better option than making a baby wear a giant boob hat.

Image via The Sexist (Washington City Paper)

Two-Thirds Of Women Too Shy To Breastfeed [Daily Express]
Public Breast-Feeding: What The Nursing Bib Means For The Right To Bare Breasts [The Sexist]

Soon after sitting down and giving the audience a glimpse of her ample, new-mom cleavage, Letterman launched into a discussion about babies, giving Naomi the opportunity to school those who don't know just how exhausting new motherhood can be, which we can summarize into the following three words: Breastfeeding, Brainpower, Bed.

So what gives? There's so much judgment (see Page Six's nasty treatment of Kelly's continuing to breast feed her "walking, talking" two year old) on both the pro-and-anti-breast feeding sides, we decided to look up what some fairly impartial sources had to say on the matter, since all of us here are childless whores who don't know about birthing babies.

Weight Loss: Dr. Joan Meek, a pediatrician and author of the American Academy of Pediatrics' new mother's guide to breastfeeding tells MSNBC that when it comes to calories expended, "It's really how much total breast milk the baby takes in over the period of the day. The average mom will make about 24 to 28 ounces of breast milk a day. It takes about 500 calories to make that much milk. Some of those calories come from fat stored during the pregnancy or previously, and some come from the mother's daily nutrition." However! "We don't recommend women significantly reduce calories during breastfeeding. It's more helpful to increase exercise. Most women will actually lose weight in spite of what they're eating. Many feel they can practically eat anything they want, which is unlike any other time in life! Enjoy it!"

Hurtiness: Doesn't it seem like having a wee one clamped to your breast might be a tad bit painful? According to the La Leche League , "Some deep breast twinges during let down can occur as the milk ducts constrict to force the milk towards the nipple. As your body becomes more used to breastfeeding, these disappear." They also say that it's all about positioning, and "Your back, arms, feet and elbows should be well-supported, and your shoulders and neck muscles relaxed." But, you can also get infections like mastitis, and if you don't empty your funbags frequently enough, you could get flat nipples that are difficult for babies to latch on to.

Duration of Nursing: Dr. Meek says that 6 months is standard, and she recommends going through the child's first birthday. However, "Mother and baby should decide when to wean," and the World Health Organization says that up to two years is kosher.

Udderly Icky [NYP]
Salma Weighs In On Breastfeeding And Postpartum Pounds [Lil' Sugar]
Answering Your Questions About Breastfeeding [MSNBC]
Breastfeeding FAQ [CDC]