Jayde unsubtly uses an engagement party as an appropriate place to pester Brody about where their relationship is going, and Brody maturely explains that it's not the right place. And then later he makes plans to dump her. What's with these young girls wanting to get married like there's a stipulation in their trust funds that requires marriage for them to get the money or something?


Spencer confronts Heidi (who was apparently waiting in the foyer for him to call her name?) about the pregnancy test he found. He actually sounds reasonable at the end of the talk, but then you remember that earlier in this episode he passive-aggressively hounded Heidi about this in front of a small child.


Aww, Justin (Bobby) has to pretend to like Kristin here. For the script!


Justin (Bobby) and Kristin enter into a mature, loving, communicative, all-the-way relationship...or whatever. Let's hope next season she cheats first.

Obviously, Heidi is not pregnant, and this is all just contrived drama for the show. Still, it's kinda fun thinking about the possibility of a Pratt brat with an Oedipus complex.

In other news, Kristin went to Vegas with Stacie-The-Bartender to get away from the guys in L.A. However, she discovered that douchiness is not specific to any one city, and was not impressed with the guys she met on her trip.


So she called JustinBobby, and he drove down to Vegas to take a shower.


JustinBobby made a very astute observation when he said, "Everything happens for a reason." (He means that everything happens because the producers tell them what they should do, right?) He, Kristin, and Stacie-The-Bartender all went to a strip club, where Kristin and STB made out.


The next morning, Kristin and JustinBobby discussed the events at the strip club, however, most of it was censored out, and it's incredibly difficult to infer what transpired. From what I can deduce, one of two things happened: A stripper took a shit on Kristin or a stripper went down on Kristin.

[Los Angeles, November 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Clearly, the most contrived storyline is Heidi and Spencer's: it's like an art form of its own at this point, in which the creation of "problems" in their marriage seems to uncover actual problems. For instance: Heidi's baby fever (in the previous clip) is obviously a gimmick, but you can see her getting confused about the blurred lines of reality.

Then there's Jayde Nicole. She's become a celebrity in her own right, making it into gossip columns for her temper and her physical and legal fight with Joe Francis. Last week, she slapped Kristin, which given Jayde's history (and the fact that the cameras catching the drama were hand-held and not set up on a tripod), suggests that the event was from the heart, and not from the minds of producers. This meet-up with Kristin however, was strictly orchestrated. Judge Judy would not approve of going to talk to someone who assaulted you about how you hate them.


I find Jayde to be the best possible addition to this show, as she appears to be a bit unhinged, making her a perfect candidate for reality television. Maybe The Hills will stop being so boring. But who am I kidding? I'd still watch it, even if the entire 30 minutes was spent on JustinBobby picking his toes.

• In her book Still Standing Carrie Prejean says, "I believed then and I believe now that marriage should be a legally recognized sacrament between a man and a woman. If that makes me a bigot, so is Barack Obama."

• She continues, "I was not then, nor am I now, aspiring to be the next Anita Bryant. I am comfortable with all God's children. Civil unions between gay people, at least as a matter of law, have always been fine with me. If asked, I would have told you that I believed that gay couples should have visiting rights in the hospital, just like everybody else." [Radar Online]
• In the book Carrie Prejean also accuses Donald Trump of dividing up Miss USA contestants based on their looks. "Carrie should be ashamed of herself," says Trump. "Certainly I would never do a thing like that, because it would be too hurtful. I don't stand the ones that are less attractive to one side, and the beautiful ones on the other side. It was total nonsense — it was fiction in her imagination... I don't even know how she came up with an idea like that." [Extra]
• Shanna Moakler has apologized for calling Khloe Kardashian a "donkey" on The Wendy Williams Show. "I feel really bad. I shouldn't have said it," she says. "It was just an off-the-cuff statement." [Us]
• Joel and Benji Madden walked out of an Australian radio interview because the hosts tried a stupid stunt to test whether one twin can sense what the other is feeling. Benji was blindfolded and Joel was handed a the picture of Britney Spears getting out of a car sans underwear. Joel said, "I think I'm pretty laid back dude, but you guys are getting on my nerves," and they left. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney Spears addressed the Australian lip-synching incident — sort of. "I hear there is a lot of controversy in the media about my show," said Brit in a statement. "Some reporters have said they love it and some don't. I came to Australia for my fans!" [People]
• Dina Lohan has spoken out about Michael Lohan's near-daily release of private phone conversations saying, "The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable... My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again, and he clearly blew that chance!" [E!]
• Joe and Katherine Jackson were fighting in court today. Joe is objecting to the two men named as executors of Michael Jackson's will, but Katherine's lawyer says he has no right to object since he was cut out of the will. Joe claims the will is a forgery. [TMZ, TMZ]
• At the Glamour women of the year awards Rihanna said she feels she has a responsibility to speak out for other victims of domestic violence. "I'm really a woman, a human being," she said. "I go through real situations that women all over the world go through every day. It's great to have the opportunity to be a voice for those women." [People]
• Rihanna says her new album helped her deal with her feelings about Chris Brown. "I got to vent because I didn't really talk a lot. I didn't talk to a lot of people about anything I was feeling. I just did it on the record." [USA Today]
• David Letterman's accused extortionist Robert Halderman asked a judge to dismiss the charges against him because he says he was trying to sell a screenplay to Letterman and the so-called extortion was just "a pure commercial transaction." [TMZ]
• While David Letterman made it sound like his affair with Stephanie Birkitt was long over, according to papers filed by Robert Halderman it continued "unabated" into this past summer. [TMZ]
• Ozzy and Jack Osbourne donated $4,500 to the Muncie, Indiana police department where Jack filmed the reality show Armed & Famous so they could buy a new police dog. [CBS News]
• Kelly Osbourne has lost 25 pounds on DWTS but it wasn't easy. "I'm fucking starving right now!" she says. [Us]
• Katy Perry introduced Russell Brand to her parents. "I've had the privilege of meeting Katy's family. I always get along with spiritual people," he says. "For me the things that happen on a higher level are more important than transient things." [Ok]
• Katy Perry wore a bustier and hot pants made from West Ham jerseys while hosting the MTV European Music Awards to impress Russell Brand. He Tweeted: "MY GIRLFRIEND has worn a West Ham basque while hosting the EMA's. What a day!" [People]
• Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis, her husband of eight years, have separated. [E!]
• Shaquille O'Neal's wife Shaunie has filed for a legal separation "with intent to divorce" citing irreconcilable differences. They have four minor children. [TMZ]
• Joss Stone has enraged anti-drug activists by saying, "Weed has been given this evil stamp, but how is it dangerous? It's going to make you laugh your arse off? You might go to sleep? I think alcohol is much more harmful. People beat the fuck out of each other on alcohol. But I don't smoke weed all day long. I live in Devon and hardly ever go to clubs. When I do, I'll drink three or four beers then move on to a vodka. I don't want to take all those horrible drugs. Although some sound fun, so I might dabble now and then!" [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell is the top-earning man on prime-time U.S. television with an estimated yearly income of $75 million. [Reuters]
• Levi Johnston says Sarah Palin "doesn't bother me ... Just because she ran for vice president and was governor of Alaska doesn't intimidate me... I wouldn't want her running my country." [ET]
• A judge has ruled that TLC can depose Kate Major in their lawsuit against Jon Gosselin. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin is counter suing TLC for $5 million. [Radar Online]
• On last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin looked back at a clip of a past show in which Jon Gosselin said to her, "When are you going to pull the stick out." Kate says: "Perhaps [that] was a sign of things to come." [Us]
• A judge has granted Jennifer Lopez a temporary restraining order barring her ex-husband Ojani Noa from releasing 11 hours of video taken during their honeymoon. [AP]
• Oprah Winfrey will air a rare interview with Stephenie Meyer on Friday. "Since I'm only doing one interview, better make it really, really big," wrote Meyer on her blog. [People]
• "These jeans are a few days old, but the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can't stand the air around me. I don't know, my personal hygiene – it's so disgusting!" — Robert Pattinson [Us]
• Katie Price is returning to the British version of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, making her the only celebrity to go to the jungle twice. [Daily Mail]
• First Kristin Cavallari dating Audrina Patridge's ex Justin Bobby and now she's dating Audrina's other ex, Tal Cooperman. "It's not for the show. They hit it off and have been hanging out off-camera," said a source. [People]
• Dave Grohl says he always knew Kurt Cobain would die young. "There are some people that you meet in life that you just know that they are not going to live to be a hundred years old. In some ways, you kind of prepare yourself emotionally for that to be a reality." [Daily Express]
• John Cusack says he agreed to star in 2012 because, "I just liked the script... I got offered it and it was definitely the A-plus version of these movies, as far as the kind of movie it was and the budget and the script. Usually these movies go to whoever the biggest box-office star in the world was, but Roland wanted me to do it and he's a very powerful director. It's not easy to get these roles. It would go to Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, anybody who's the biggest box-office star." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Chiwetel Ejiefor says the paparazzi were ruthless with Angelina Jolie while they were filming Salt. "More so than other people, they were sort of everywhere, and there were a lot of paparazzi and stuff. But I think she handles it incredibly well. I don't really know how she does it, but definitely she is able to do the work but also be very gracious with them, and it's really quite interesting to watch," he said. [BlackBook Magazine]
• When asked if she ever craves meat now that she's vegan Alicia Silverstone said, "Craving is a complicated word... what craving actually is versus what you think you want. There are times that, if there is nothing else around...suddenly a cheese plate goes by, then sometimes I'll think 'Oh, I want some cheese.' But over the years, I've scratched that itch at different times, and I've come to realize that it's not better than anything else I'm eating." [WSJ]
• Jake Gyllenhaal says in his new film Prince of Persia, "There's a whole scene with ostriches in the movie and ... They're all real ostriches, highly paid, and we were all briefed on them for weeks before like 'They're these massive destructive creatures that can tear your heart out with their claws.' I swear to God I never thought of an ostrich this way! ... I walked up to it and one of my stuntmen was in the ring with them, and finally, I was like, "When am I going to be in a fucking cage with ostriches again in my life? I gotta get in here!" So I got in there and they were the sweetest things." [ONTD]
• In an interview about the season finale of Mad Men Matthew Weiner said there's no chance Betty and Don will reconcile. "It's so unambiguous to me that this marriage is over, but the audience seems to cling to the idea that they should be together because we want to believe in those things," he said. "The marriage was not good. It was built on a lie and the lie was exposed. In the end, Don coming clean really damaged his relationship with her, more than the lying, her seeing who he actually was." [Daily Beast]

Remember her? She was friends with Lauren in high school, and then, after Lauren gave her a diamond bracelet for her birthday, she boinked Brody, even though Lauren was sorta kinda dating him. That dramz was the first conflict that Lauren had with Spencer, since he set Jen and Brody up. So Jen was a catalyst in the whole Lauren/Spencer war. Well, not really a catalyst, since she actually changed a lot with the help of a colorist and plastic surgeon.


I have to say that the puppies that Spencer bought Heidi for her birthday are incredibly cute.


I love Lo's response to Audrina's bullshit drama.


I also love that JustinBobby claims to be super into Kristin, yet he thinks her name is Kirsten.

[Los Angeles, October 19. Image via WENN.]

OK, so in the first scene, Audrina, Lo and Stephanie are talking about how they're going to go to Heidi and Spencer's "welcome back" party. Steph obviously has her new nose here.


See?


However, at the party, she has her old nose.


In her next scene, she's talking to Audrina about the events of the party, and she has her new nose again.


But then at Frankie's birthday party, her old nose returns.


BTW, how old was Frankie turning? 48?


After Frankie's party, Stephanie's new nose again, on the scene.


But only time will tell if it will stay.

• More on this is Midweek Madness, but Star is reporting that Justin Timberlake and Rihanna are "on." Here's the deal:

They've been talking and texting "nonstop" since the VMAs; but Rihanna doesn't want to be "his lady on the side." A source says: "She asked him on the phone, ‘Are you still with Jessica?' And he hinted that things were cooling off between them." [Star]

• If you were at the Bourgeois Pig on East Seventh Street the other night, you would have seen Madonna eating with Jessica Seinfeld and Jesus Luz… Then Anderson Cooper "rolled up on his bicycle and joined them." [Page Six]
• Rose McGowan has broken off her engagement to Robert Rodriguez. Does this mean no Red Sonja? But what about the awesome poster?!?! [Radar Online]
• Uh-oh! Bomb scare on the set of The Green Hornet, starring Seth Rogen! [TMZ]
• Hospitalized twice in two days? Get well soon, Tori Spelling. [Page Six, People]
• Chris Brown says he's trying to make as much music as possible — while doing community service at the same time. Multitasky. [TMZ]
• "How to fix Jon and Kate? Lose the Eight… Kate Gosselin is and has always been the show's central character. How she mothers, how she bosses her husband around, how she cuts her hair and tucks her tummy - that's what the show is really about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Lamar Odom says his wedding to Khloe Kardashian was not fake: "It's crazy how perception works in America when you're looking at things from the outside… Anybody that was there will tell you that it was a beautiful event and it was real." [People]
• Some hairstylist claimed he did Khloe Kardashian's hair for her wedding — at a cost of $4500 — but KK didn't actually use him and actually never heard of him. [TMZ, NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's estate is suing the "Heal The World Foundation," which claims it is linked to MJ, but had no connection to the pop star and, in fact, "became dormant before he died." [CBS News]
• Rihanna is being sued by a neighbor who claims she had been allowing cars to drive on his lawn to get to her driveway; she denies causing any damage. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe: Taking driving lessons. [Telegraph]
• Jessica Alba is in talks to join the cast of Little Fockers, along side Ben Stiller and Bobby De Niro. According to this story, she'll play an "attractive" pharmaceutical rep "whose looks wreak havoc on male characters." In other words: They don't need her to act. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Uma Thurman will star in Ceremony, a flick directed by Max Winkler — Henry's son. Uma will play an older woman who is about to get married when a young man falls for her; the young man will be played by Michael Angarano, aka Kristen Stewart's (ex?) boyfriend. [Variety]
• One of the defendants in the John Travolta case claimed to have document suggesting Travolta wanted his son dead; it was actually just a form that released medical professionals in the Bahamas from liability if Travolta decided to fly his son to a hospital in Florida. [TMZ]
• "An ambulance driver believed he had John Travolta over a barrel and wanted big bucks to keep embarrassing medical records secret, a witness testified yesterday." [NY Post]
• Randy and Evi Quaid's home in Marfa, Texas now has a cease and desist sign out front, because the Quaids has started remodeling job without permits. [Radar Online]
• Remember Edward Furlong? Terminator, American History X? His estranged wife just filed a restraining order against him, claiming he threatened to hire people to beat her with chains and bats. And! She claims he "is smoking cocaine and doing other various drugs. He is very unpredictable." [TMZ]
• This columnist gives Joy Behar's new show three and a half stars and writes: "if there's one thing wrong with Joy's great new show it's her old-lady Aunt Carmela hairdo. Please Joy, call me — I'll pay for you to go to my hairdressers." [NY Post]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has decided to display a naked photograph of 10-year-old Brooke Shields; critics want it withdrawn from the exhibition, called "Pop Life: Art In A Material World." [Daily Mail]
• A Steady Rain stars Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman reportedly attracted the highest weekly gross for a nonmusical production on Broadway. But as far as I know, neither of them take their shirts off! Weird. [NY Post]
• Bono may be a superstar, but he knows how to wait patiently for a table in a crowded restaurant. [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga sang over the phone at a fundraiser and helped earn over $10 million for charities. [Page Six]
• "Sean 'Diddy' Combs has signed with Universal Music Group's Interscope Geffen A&M label in a deal which includes his future albums and creates a new joint venture with Combs' Bad Boy label." [Reuters]
• Interesting: Melissa Gilbert is playing "Ma" in Little House On The Prairie: The Musical. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Hudson says her newborn baby boy is "the cutest thing in the world" and he "seems like he's very interested in music already." [People]
• "Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's one-legged ex-wife, will appear on the British TV show Dancing on Ice, according to the London Sun." [NY Post]
• Roger Avary, Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction, has been sentenced to a year in jail for drunk driving and causing a fatal traffic crash in Southern California. [Breitbart]
• "A former teaching assistant who was employed by Wynonna Judd to home-school her two kids has been charged in Tennessee with distribution of child pornography." [E!]
• "Pink Floyd star leaves £24m to his children - but nothing to his three wives." [Daily Mail]
• "I had to think: 'What can I do with it? How can I make this fun?' I wanted him to be happy-go-lucky about the whole thing and not a conflicted, angry killer. More of the Hannibal Lecter school of killer: the killer you want at a party. I wasn't trying to banish Seth Cohen. I'm still me. He looks different and is morally corrupt. But I don't see it as a big departure." — Adam Brody, on his character in Jennifer's Body. [USA Today]
• "I went to Oregon to study permaculture and lived in an eco-village for a month outside Eugene. It's called Lost Valley. It was amazing and exactly what I needed, because there had been the Juno thing, where you're getting a lot of attention. You're learning how to live in a holistic way with the cycles of the Earth. At one point I was digging goat (manure) and putting it into a wheelbarrow, and while shoveling it, I just went, 'Oh, my God, this is exactly what I want to be doing right now.' "— Ellen Page on her life after Juno and before Whip It!. [USA Today]
• "I'm not a fancy person. I love small spaces. I like tiny cars. I don't buy things, aside from music and books." — Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "She's really sexy. I did my wardrobe fittings with her where we would just take our clothes off and look at our own bodies. We both have insecurities or flaws, but we were both like, 'How do we get over this? How do we be the sexiest we can be in this movie?' We pushed each other. We challenged each other. We developed a love affair that was based on truth rather than niceties." — Drew Barrymore on Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "It took me all my effort to watch The Wire. And I only watched it because I was directing an episode in the last season. Then I watched the whole lot in a very short time and suddenly realized what a great thing I was in." —Dominic West. More from him at the link. [Telegraph]
• "I want to apologize to everybody. I had no idea what it would turn into." — Kristin Cavallari, on introducing Spencer and Heidi to each other. [Hollywood Crush]
• "She is not a nice person… Madonna laid the law down to me before we went out. [She said] I am not going to Disneyland, OK? That's out. I said, 'I didn't ask to go to Disneyland.' She said, 'We are going to the restaurant. And afterwards, we are going to a strip bar. I said, 'I am not going to a strip bar, where they cross dress. ... I am not going to there. If that's how it is, forget this whole thing. ... Afterwards, she wrote some mean things about me in the press. And I wrote that she is a nasty witch, after I was so kind to her." — Michael Jackson, in that new book by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. [CNN]

• Supposedly, Johnny Depp doesn't want to make another Pirates of the Caribbean because he knows the last two "sucked." Disney will offer him a huge paycheck and if he refuses, he'll be replaced by a younger Zac Efron-type.

• The book On Stranger Tides, upon which the fourth Pirates film will be based, leaves room for a younger character to take the lead, but could someone like Shia LaBeouf or Robert Pattinson really fill the void left by Captain Jack? [MTV]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married earlier this month in a small ceremony in France. [Life And Style]
• Jessica Simpson is doing some damage control after the negative reaction to her complaints about having to sleep under a mosquito net in Uganda on Friday. Her rep said, "The accommodations were certainly interesting, but Jessica enjoyed being a part of a totally different culture." And the next day Jess Tweeted on Sunday: "Uganda was truly a beautiful adventure... I will carry the spirit of all the people with me always. God Bless." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer called into Good Morning America today to say that though his client was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday, he's in "very good shape" and he believes it will be possible for Polanski "to obtain his freedom." [TMZ]
• French foreign minister Bernard Kouchner called Roman Polanski's arrest a "bit sinister" and a petition protesting his detention is going around Hollywood. So far Monica Bellucci and Fanny Ardant have signed. Harvey Weinstein said, "We're calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation." [BBC]
• Roman Polanski has refused to be extradited from Switzerland to the United States. [AFP]
• Two previous attempts to arrest Roman Polanski when he travelled to countries that have extradition treaties to the U.S. failed because he learned of the plans and cancelled his trips. But he travels to Switzerland frequently and "had no suspicion he'd be entrapped" according to a source. [People]
• TMZ has obtained the 911 call that lead to David Hasselhoff being taken to the hospital last week. In the first, one of his ex-wife Pamela Bach's friends calls 911 to report an incident at Hasselhoff's home, but when the dispatcher calls the house and get his daughter Hayley, she says, "Turn around ... we're completely fine... My mom is trying to cause something ... nothing happened here at all." [TMZ]
• Burglars broke into Gwen Stefani's London mansion to steal her jewelry on Saturday night while she was at a concert in Singapore. They got into a flat Stefani rents to Dame Elizabeth Forgan, head of the Arts Council, but were unable to get into Stefani's flat. [Daily Mail]
• Britney Spears went to the Sugar Factory candy store in Las Vegas this weekend and spent $3,000. She bought three Halloween baskets, two buckets of Swedish Fish, a box of milk chocolate, and 25 of her own Circus Tour lollipops for $25 a piece. [TMZ]
• Pleasant Bridgewater, the Bahamian senator who was charged with extortion over a document regarding medical treatment for Jett Travolta, may have destroyed the document in question, a Refusal of Treatment/Transportation order signed by John Travolta. [People]
• Pamela Anderson is denying that she didn't pay contractors who worked on her home because she's broke, explaining, "I'm financially secure... It is true that I am in a dispute with some of the contractors working on my home. This is because after paying millions of dollars to build the house I continue to get bills from the contractors." [People]
• She adds, "Mistakes may have been made in calculating taxes owed and we are now in the process of ensuring that any taxes owed are paid." [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian Tweeted after her sister Khloe's wedding: "Tonight was one of the best nights of my life!" [People]
• The day after Khloe's wedding Kim Kardashian supposedly took a flight to New Orleans to see Reggie Bush. "The wedding made her miss him, so she flew to see him," says a source. [E!]
• This week, Lady Gaga will be honored as Billboard's "Rising Star" as the publication's annual Women in Music event. [AP]
• Evi and Randy Quaid's former private investigator Becky Altringer says that Evi frequently used a bad credit card under the name Janet Cross. [Radar Online]
• Altringer adds, "Randy told me that none of his family will see or talk to him because of Evi... He told me that he really misses his mother and his brother Dennis, but that they are all afraid of Evi. I used to see him tear up when he'd talk about them." [Radar Online]
• Mackenzie Phillips says of her family's reaction to her incest allegations, "Don't get me wrong, I understand that my family doesn't want this played out nationally, but the people who are saying that I'm lying have known about it for such a long time. [They're] trying to discredit me in a public way to either protect the brand of The Mamas and the Papas or to protect the memory of [my father.] ... I absolutely loved my father, but he wasn't a good man. He was deeply flawed." [CBS News]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt adopted a second puppy. Nine weeks ago they got a maltipoo puppy named Dolly and they says, "We're getting Dolly's brother and naming him Inky the Ninja!" [People]
• In the audiobook of Patrick Swayze's book Time of My Life, which he narrates, he says he felt "anger, bitterness and despair" when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [People]
• Ben Lee and Ione Skye welcomed a daughter, Goldie Priya Lee, on Thursday. [People]
• First Republic Bank has put a hold on Frances Bean Cobain's $1.2 million trust fund because there's a dispute over whether Courtney Love or the Laird Norton Tyee Trustee Company has the right to access her account. Love's attorney says the band is just stalling because she and the trustee had agreed to move the money to a different bank and First Republic doesn't want to lose the account. [TMZ]
• Jaime Kennedy is claiming that a now-former assistant is responsible for the reports that he was cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Perez Hilton suggests that Kennedy himself may have called and accused "Miguel" of making the rumors up. [Perez Hilton]
• Fred Durst and wife of two months, Esther Nazarov, have split up. He announced on Twitter: "For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support." He added, "We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other." [Perez Hilton]
• Jude Law says of playing Hamlet on Broadway, "He demands such a reveal of your inner feelings and thoughts that you have to open yourself up to him and see where he takes you." [Style.com]
• Kristin Cavallari says of working on The Hills, "I pretty much do anything they have me do because I don't care... I mean, we're filming a TV show. Let's make it interesting. Let's have a good time with it."
  [L.A. Times]
• Jeremy Piven's RocknRolla co-star Ludacris is clearing up the murcury poisoning rumors once and for all. He says: "A lot of people thought he was making up the mercury poisoning thing. I'm telling you, as his friend trying to look out for him, when he was around me, he definitely OD'd on fish."
  [N.Y. Observer]

Both in the trailer for the upcoming season of The Hills (which premieres September 29) and additional advertising spots, Kristin has been billed as "the bitch," literally, in this marquee style ad:

For her part, Kristin says she believes that people use the term refer to women who speak their minds, so she doesn't mind it all that much.

• Is Jon Gosselin trying to look bad? He's returned the two family dogs to the breeder. "Jon blames Kate for having to give up the dogs," says a source. "Of course, these days Jon blames Kate for just about everything."

• Jon says Kate isn't taking care of them properly, but another source says it was always Jon's responsibility to take care of the dogs. It's more than Kate can handle and he made no arrangements to care for them when he moved to New York. [Radar Online]
• Kate Gosselin said on The View that Jon Gosselin brought Hailey Glassman over to meet their children. Now Jon says, "I've never brought Hailey to meet the kids, nor do I plan on doing that anytime soon." Hailey Tweeted: "I was never at Jon and Katezilla's house nor did I meet the children, And nor am I in a rush to..." [E!]
• Jon Gosselin has been dropped by his divorce lawyer. The divorce was supposed to be finalized next month, but this should delay the process. [My Fox Philly]
• Kate Major says, "I will take a lie detector test and I would love for Jon to take a lie detector test because for him to say there was no romance is a complete lie," adding, "I think I was in lust with him, but no, I didn't love him." [People]
• Stephanie Santoro's mom says Jon Gosselin asked her daughter, "If she would call Hailey and calm Hailey down and tell her that they never had a relationship, that they never went to eat together, that they never did anything together; that all she was, was a friend and a sitter to the children." Stephanie refused. Her mom adds, "He told Stephanie that he cared for Hailey, but he didn't see her as the person he wanted to spend his life with. He didn't see her as a stepmother figure for the children, but he said that he couldn't end it now because there was too much stuff, like the clothing line, that Hailey was involved in. He had to be careful how he handled everything." [Radar Online]
• Chris Brown may have Tweeted toda "on my way to community service...," but the judge who sentenced him actually said he'd be doing, "actual physical labor, as opposed to some type of community service." [TMZ]
• There are pictures of him cleaning up a roadside lot while wearing an orange vest... and a "wife beater". [Radar Online]
• Burt Reynolds has checked into rehab to deal with his addiction to prescription medication. His manager says, "After a recent back surgery, Mr. Reynolds felt like he was going through hell and after a while, realized he was a prisoner of prescription pain pills. He checked himself into rehab in order to regain control of his life. Mr. Reynolds hopes his story will help others in a similar situation. He hopes they will not try to solve the problem by themselves, but realize that sometimes it is too tough to do on their own and they should seek help, as he did." [People]
• An excerpt of Patrick Swayze's upcoming memoir The Time of My Life was released today in which he wrote after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, "I began thinking to myself, I've had more lifetimes than any 10 people put together, and it's been an amazing ride. So this is okay." [Reuters]
• Star claims Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler's romance is "for real" because they went on a romantic dinner date, even though sources at the restaurant in question have already said they were out with a group of people and didn't even sit next to each other. [Star]
• Aaron Eckhart says his Love Happens co-star Jennifer Aniston "keeps good people around her. She's interested. She asks questions. She gets outside of herself and lives, I would say at the very least, an interesting life. It's not really always her own. She deals with it very well." [People]
• "This time around, TV feels better, and The Beautiful Life feels like a better fit for me as a television show. It's a much happier experience because I'm older and I can see everything for what it was now. I was 16 when I went to do The O.C., and it was a great experience, it changed my life. It made me famous and everything. But this time around I can actually sit back and enjoy the experience and know what's coming and just have a good time with it. I think it's cool to see the younger cast members enjoying it for the first time." — Mischa Barton [L.A. Times]
• When asked about her recent psychiatric episode Mischa Barton said, "I'm getting sick of answering questions about it. I just had a bad time of year and now it's all over and done with, and I'm just very happy to be feeling happy again and back on top of it and not so worried about everything. It was just too much to handle for me at the time." [N.Y. Observer]
• Matt Damon says George Clooney's girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis is "a really, really wonderful woman... It's nice to see my friend so happy." [People]
• "I would rather have a prostate exam on live television by a guy with very cold hands than have a Facebook page." — George Clooney [People]
• The LAPD is wrapping up their investigation of Michael Jackson's death and sources say it will be presented to the L.A. County District Attorney in three to four weeks. [TMZ]
• Things got uncomfortable on The Jay Leno Show when Jay started asking Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz about sex. Jay wanted to know if Tom had ever been to a strip club, and Tom replied, "Actually I never have been, ever. Sorry to disappoint you." Diaz added, "It's kind of hard to be Tom Cruise and go to a strip club." Then Jay asked, "I know you're a pilot, what are you better at – flying or sex?" Tom squirmed in his seat and said, "You know what, I don't know... I try to excel in all areas and I've never been asked for a refund, so I don't know." [Daily Mail]
• Guitarist Joe Satriani has dropped his lawsuit against Coldplay for allegedly stealing parts of his songs. It's unclear whether they made a finacial settlement, but Coldplay will not be required to admit they did anything wrong as part of their agreement. [BBC]
• Zachory Loring, the man Audrina Patridge says is stalking her, was arrested yesterday on two outstanding warrants for vandalism and disturbing the peace. His mom was the one who reported him to the police. He's still in jail, and has been served with the restraining order Audrina requested while behind bars. [TMZ]
• Lauren Conrad was excited to guest judge America's Next Top Model because "I don't watch a lot of TV, but it is one of the few shows I watch. I'm such a fan of Tyra. So when they contacted me, I said yes. I knew it would be a great experience. [Working with the Top Model judges] was a treat." [People]
• Kristin Cavallari is denying that she's having a secret relationship with John Mayer. "I literally met John one time for five minutes," she said. "I am single, I'll tell you that. I'm 22. Why have a boyfriend? I'm having fun." [Us]
• Jessica Simpson's dog Daisy is still missing and was last seen in the clutches of a wild coyote. Jessica used a dog-finding service called FindToto.com that called 1000 of her neighbors to ask for tips about the dog, but so far no one has called in about Daisy. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton has released a very detailed statement, saying that the reason she skipped several nightclub appearances in Germany was that "Miss Hilton's security visited the ‘night club' booked for the appearance and discovered it was a strip club, the venue had been misrepresented to Miss Hilton by the talent promoters. Miss Hilton does not support or endorse strip clubs and this type of establishment." [Perez Hilton]
• Aretha Franklin says of her performance at the Presidential inauguration, "I should have done what some of the other artists did, and that was to pre-record." [WWD]
• Leelee Sobieski and her fiance Adam Kimmel are expecting their first child together in December. [Us]
• Jenna Elfman is expecting her second child with husband Bodhi Elfman. "I have a baby in my tummy – but a real one, not just for my TV show," she said. "My character's pregnant the whole first season [of Accidentally On Purpose], so I said, 'It's a good time to have another baby, because we won't have to hide it.'" [People]
• Elizabeth Taylor keeps a picture of Richard Burton on her nightstand and says they would have married for a third time if he was still alive. "She still says had he lived that they'd be back together once again - that it would have been third time lucky. They were mad about each other," said Burton's niece Sian Owen. "She believes that in the last years in their lives when everything had been toned down with the drinking and everything else, she believes that they'd be together. She's certain of that, they were soul mates." [Daily Mail]
• Tim McGraw says of Kanye West's VMA incident, "He shows himself to be an idiot every time he does stuff like that, [My girls] were upset. But what he did do is provide a great example of how not to be, and my girls learned a big lesson... when they weren't looking I said, 'He needs an a— whoopin'!' [People]
• Though Nas and Kelis are in the midst of a heated financial and custody battle, they appeared together at Russell Simmons gala for Hair Rules salon. [TMZ]
• Cyndi Lauper says she's actually trying to dress less flamboyantly to play a psychic on Bones. "I didn't think I should look like Rhoda from the '70s," she said. [AP]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood's girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova threatened, "I'm going to kill myself. You are going to find me dead," after the two had a fight early Monday morning during which the police were called. He reportedly responded "Fuck off home you s***." [What s-word do you think he used?" [Daily Mail]
• Kara DioGuardi is shopping a new reality show called Dropped. She says, "It takes the best acts that have been dropped and gives them a second chance. You look at Katy Perry, the Jonas Brothers, Alicia Keys, and Lady Gaga, they all have one thing in common: They've all been dropped from their labels ... I was dropped. Think about how many times in your life you haven't achieved one goal, but you've achieved another one." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Karissa Shannon, who has moved into Hugh Hefner's room at the Playboy Mansion with her twin Kristina Shannon says, "Our room is pimp. We've got the round spinning bed from Chicago, a kickass big-screen TV and we have the perfect view of all the parties in the backyard. And we're getting a stripper pole in there, too." [E!]
• Kendra Wilkinson's husband, Hank Baskett, was cut from the Philadelphia Eagles to make room for Michael Vick. [People]
• Karina Smirnoff says "It's kind of easy to stay friends," with Maksim Chmerkovskiy even though they've broken up. "We were friends for 14 years, before anything else. It will always remain this way. It's not difficult. We both think the world of each other." [People]
• On The Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday, Whitney Houston's 15-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina said she wants to pursue a singing career. "I know she hates it, but it's the plan," Bobbi Kristina told Oprah. "It's my plan. Mine. Yeah." [Access Hollywood]
• Patsy Kensit says she won't do anymore nude scenes because it would embarrass her sons, who are 17 and 10. She says, "The only way I'd do it is if nudity was intrinsic to the plot." [Daily Express]
• Michael Palin says Monty Python never would have been made if the BBC's management had meddled as much as they do today. "I think we would be looked at very carefully. There would be much more managerial interference, which there never was," said. "We were allowed to get on with our show once they had agreed it. I just don't think it would be the same nowadays and I think that is regrettable. We are in danger of having to be so accountable to everybody for everything [the BBC] does." [Daily Mail]
• Clive Owen says the recent scripts he's read, "Are not very good. And these are films that are funded and ready-to-go ­expensive movies. You're amazed that people are funding them. I start to think it's me, that I'm being too choosy." [Just Jared]
• Russell Crowe has written an apology to fans after a rugby player and a coach got into a fight at the rugby club Crowe co-owns saying, "I truly know what it is like to have an incident blow up in your face and cause shockwaves through your life. In the past I have put my parents and my wife and my extended family through some terrible times and I'm sorry for every moment of those public floggings that they have received the residual fallout from. 'I'm embarrassed just to type that sentence; some things just don't go away easily. I have learned to own and take responsibility for those times when I haven't been my best.There has been many an opportunity that has left my professional life because of people's perceptions that I am rough around the edges and perhaps unreliable.I work hard on trying to let people know that I am better than the worst of me, it's the only thing I can do." [Daily Mail]
• Beth Ditto got into a fight with Katy Perry earlier this year over the song "I Kissed A Girl," and now Ditto is calling her a "boner dyke." Ditto says, "It's a sensitive subject: we're talking about what's really going on for my people. I don't think people understand how real it is. I had surgery about three years ago. I was in the hospital - in a liberal part of the country - and my family was 3,000 miles away, and (my partner) Freddie was by my side. And Freddie got chased out of the place and treated like shit because she wasn't 'family'. It was so bad that the lady next to me in the hospital room was like, 'I've never seen anyone treated that way in my life'. And I knew it was because I was gay; the rest of my time in there, I was treated like shit. That's something 'lipstick lesbians' will never experience. So yeah, 'I Kissed A Girl' is a funny little song, but now is maybe not the best time for it." [Daily Express]
• Jemaine Clement says there isn't any tension between him and Bret McKenzie because he was nominated for an Emmy but Bret wasn't. "The fact that he is usually voted ‘best looking Conchord' is a far greater source of controversy within the band," he says. "Besides, he was a full-time musician before the show, whereas I was a full-time actor. If he'd been nominated I would have fought him." [N.Y. Times]

• This morning Lindsay Lohan posted an incoherent rant about Samantha Ronson on Twitter. She writes: "can you make an attempt to not ruin ANYTHI...zG positive that i have FINALLY deserved just to cry myself to sleep with your cheats, errors..."

• ...and thank you...for being a friend before a sell-out...the term "self out" was coined from ME and i gave them sooooooo much insight...For their not only COMPLETE, BUT SUBSTANISAN ***FRIENDS***********"... BUT YOU DID perform to her..you JUST told me that your friends are worth more than i am 2 your family & that i'm gross*thx." Linds hasn't claimed that it's the work of a hacker... yet. [Perez Hilton]
• Courtney Love says she's going to "sue the shit" out of the people behind Guitar Hero because they didn't ask her permission to use Kurt Cobain's image. She Tweeted: "not in twenty JILLION years would i EVER have allowed this and this islethal... we get NO money for this, travesty, Frances gets NO money for the rape." [TMZ]
• John Mayer denied the rumors that he's dating Kristin Cavallari on Twitter writing, "I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together." Adding, "How do I put this like a gentleman...I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis." [People]
• Jennifer Aniston will sing and play the guitar in her new film The Goree Girls. She promises: "I can carry a tune." [People]
• A source says Paula Abdul was shocked by the news that Ellen DeGeneres is replacing her on American Idol. "Privately, Paula is very upset. She's never going to admit it publicly but this stung," said the source.[Radar Online]
• Ellen DeGeneres says of hosting American Idol, "I hope Paula's OK with it. I don't want anybody to think I took Paula's job away." [E!]
• Ellen says the reason she was picked even though she has no music experience is, "I'm just a fan like everyone else... The people choose. Ultimately, it comes down to them, not some executive in the music industry. I hope to be that voice." [L.A. Times]
• Randy Jackson says American Idol "reached out" to Ellen because, "We're all friends with Ellen, and Ryan [Seacrest] and I are pretty close with her. She's just mad cool." [People]
• Natalie Cole performed last night for the first time since having a kidney transplant. "I really do have to say ... it really is a miracle time. It's a miracle night for me," she told the crowd. "I never thought I'd be standing here healthy and whole and 100 percent." [People]
• Though Jermaine Jackson announced Natalie Cole, Chris Brown, and Mary J. Blige were going to perform at the Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna they've all dropped out or denied they were ever involved. Yet, their pictures are still up on the concert's website. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson, who is reportedly not happy about the Michael Jackson tribute concert, released a statement saying she'll be there on the 29th. The only problem is it's on the 26th. [TMZ]
• Barbara Walters interviewed LaToya Jackson for a 20/20 special that will air on Friday, in which she says of Michael Jackson, "I don't think we'll find a person as talented, a person who thought the way he thought. A person with the heart that Michael had... People aren't that way anymore. He was special. He wasn't God, but he was certainly God-like. He was the closest thing to a god that I knew." [ABC News]
• Movers are taking Michael Jackson's possessions out of his Holmby Hills mansion today. [TMZ]
• The trailer for Michael Jackson: This Is It, the movie made from rehearsal footage from MJ's final concert, will air on Sunday during the MTV Video Music Awards. [AP]
• Oprah says of her upcoming interview with Whitney Houston, "It will leave you gasping. She does not blame Bobby Brown and she takes full responsibility for her engagement in drugs. At one point she says, 'I didn't get out of my pyjamas for seven months.'" [The Sun]
• The hosts and musical guests on the first four episodes of Saturday Night Live this season will be Megan Fox and U2, Ryan Reynolds and Lady Gaga, Drew Barrymore and Regina Spektor, and Gerard Butler and Shakira. [The Wrap]
• Barbara Mandrell has become the first woman to be inducted into the Steel Guitar Hall of Fame. [AP]
• Edward Norton will be running the New York City marathon this year with a group of runners from the African Maasai tribe to benefit the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. "The idea picked up traction pretty quickly," said Norton, who turned 39 in August. "Then, I was like, 'Wait a minute. What have I just done?'" [CNN]
• Gavin Rossdale will guest star on an episode of Criminal Minds as "a Goth rock star who has become lost in the frightening alter-ego he portrays on stage — an alter-ego the show's investigative team suspects may be a brutal serial killer." [UPI]
• Paris Hilton appears in the new edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations alongside Barack Obama, Confucius, and Oscar Wilde. Paris' words of wisdom: "Dress cute wherever you go, life is too short to blend in."[Daily Mail]
• Dustin Diamond is being sued for more than $21,000 in upaid property taxes and had his car repossessed. [Radar Online]
• Robert Carlyle says that director Danny Boyle is "edging closer" to making Porno, the sequel to Trainspotting, and says he'd be willing to do the movie for free. Ewan McGregor has said the sequel would be a "terrible shame." [BBC]
• Michael Douglas says he's "holding up fine," after his son Cameron's arrest for alleged drug dealing, adding, "It's a very difficult situation and painful, as I'm sure any mother or father of a substance abuser knows. So we're doing the best we can." [People]
• Jon Gosselin just can't behave himself. He got a ticked for going 78 mph in a 55 mile zone near his home in Pennsylvania. [TMZ]
• Joel Madden Tweeted on Wednesday morning, "Geuss who's back ... Oh i'm sorry we were only having a little baby boy." [People]
• Tila Tequila met with investigators from the San Diego District Attorney's office to discuss the altercation she had with San Diego Charger Shawne Merriman. [TMZ]
• Hugh Hefner went to Kendra Wilkinson's baby shower yesterday wearing a black suit and a bright red shirt rather than his customary pajamas. [TMZ]
• Laura Ling reveals that on her first night back from North Korea she ate pizza, and says Bill Clinton has been checking up on her family since her return. [TMZ]
• Melanie Chisholm a.k.a. Sporty Spice is making her theater debut next month in Blood Brothers on London's West End. [The Guardian]
• Geri Halliwell has been in Nepal all week as part of her duties as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Population Fund. She's promoting maternal health and women's rights. At a press conference she urged Nepali men to use their power to encourage and protect women saying, "When we empower women and take care of them everyone benefits." [Perez Hilton]
• Here's a picture of Cynthia Nixon on the set of Sex and the City 2 dressed up for the '80s flashback scene. [Perez Hilton]
• More Sex and the City 2 plot speculation here: [Us]
• Apparently there is nothing Sex and the City can't do. On an upcoming episode of her talk show Tyra Banks reveals the show helped her lose weight. "I got rid of one of my couches in my living room and I watched Sex and The City episodes on the treadmill or the elliptical," she says. "So Sex and the City lasts 30 minutes – that's how long I'm on the elliptical." [People]
• Phil Collins says he'll never drum again because, "I've got a condition that means I can't play anymore. After playing drums for 50 years, I've had to stop. Obviously I'm very sad about it. My vertebrae has been crushing my spinal cord because of the position I drum in. It comes from years of playing. I can't even hold the sticks properly without it being painful." [Perez Hilton]
• Kelsey Grammer won a lawsuit filed against him by a contractor who worked on his kitchen. [TMZ]
• At the link are photos from Japanese Vogue featuring Lady Gaga in bondage. [Egotastic]
• Artwork for the Broadway play A Steady Rain shows Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig's faces fused together. [Just Jared]
• In the video at the link George Clooney keeps his cool even when an Italian journalist tells him he's gay, strips down to his boxers, and asks George to "choose him." [ABC News]
• Khloé Kardashian and boyfriend Lamar Odom seem to want to get their picture taken, since they've been hitting all the paparazzi hot spots. [E!]
• Joshua Jackson says Fringe, "has been the total opposite of my Dawson's Creek experience... Fringe has taken a while for the show to percolate in the pop culture. I would never complain about being on a show with the words J.J. Abrams above the title, but the expectations were impossibly high." [Just Jared]
• "[Being 16] is way overrated. I can't even drive in the city. Can you do more at 17? I don't know." — Taylor Momsen [New York Magazine]
• Rebecca Romijn says she and Jerry O'Connell aren't planning to have any more children now that they have twin girls. "We feel like the world was made for pairs. Four feels like the perfect number... Also, we're not interested in overpopulating this world," she added. "So we feel like we don't want to leave more than we are when we leave this planet." [E!]
• When asked if she would ever do a talk show Kathy Griffin said, "The sexism in late night talk is so profound. When you think that Joan Rivers is the first and last woman to do a network late night talk show-I mean, that's appalling to me. I don't know if I can win that battle-it's such a boys' club.... I'd like to do it in some way, but I gotta tell you, I like the freedom of a show like The D-List, where I can take my time with these celebrities and spend more than six minutes with them on the couch." [Publisher's Weekly]
• Drew Barrymore and an uncomfortable-looking Ellen Page are on the cover of Marie Claire. Drew says of Ellen, "She was in her frickin' bra and with an open jacket and hot-pink shorts, skating around the rink with red lips and… and she was sexy as a mother…. a feral creature. It was great. And it's so screwed up for girls to think, Oh because I don't have that cookie-cutter model body, it must mean I don't have the right body shape. And I love model bodies, but I just want women to embrace several body shapes. That's the thing I love about derby. It's really welcoming." [Just Jared]

• It's confirmed: Katherine Heigl and husband Josh Kelly are adopting a baby girl from Korea. In an episode to air on Friday, Katherine tells Ellen:

"She was actually born the day before me in November, which I thought was really serendipitous and just kind of like a sign. I realized just recently that I basically forfeited my birthday for the rest of my life." And: "Her name is Naleigh. Well, I am naming her after my mother and sister Nancy, Leigh. So we call her Naleigh. I wanted to tell everybody so you don't think I stole a Korean baby." [People]

• Kate Gosselin is "beyond angry" at Jon Gosselin for saying he "despises" her, blah blah blah. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston is really sick of the haters, yo. That means you, Elle magazine: "It's just their headline of 'Lonely Girl' that's sort of bullshit," Aniston says.  "I agreed to do it because how many times have I done an interview-every time-and you're misquoted and stupid sound bites get taken out of context and all of that….still happened with this. It's unavoidable. I'm not upset about it. I just find it funny." [E!]
• Fans are divided about Ellen DeGeneres being the newest American Idol judge. On the one hand: She's "the people's point of view," because she has no formal music experience. But as one Idol blogger wrote: "Is she going to be a real judge or some kind of joke?" [AP] 
• Prodcers for Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo have cast a "hunk" named Max Ryan to be a European architect who crosses paths with Samantha. He is rather handsome, I must say. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Chris Brown's community service will involve 8-hour work days. He'll begin at 8 AM, get picked up by a Department of Corrections van (along with 40 other offenders), wear an orange reflective vest and pick up trash and litter along highways and roads in Richmond, VA. [TMZ]
• Yes, George Clooney "went public" with new ladyfriend Elisabetta Canalis at the Venice Film Festival earlier this week, so consider him off the market. [NY Daily News]
• Did Demi Moore snub British Prime Minister Gordon Brown's wife Sarah Brown on Twitter? [Telegraph]
• The company that owns Neverland Ranch has filed a bunch of trademarks with the US Patent Office and submitted paperwork requesting to use the Neverland name in association with a museum. A Michael Jackson museum. Of course, Joe Jackson says the company cannot do so without the family's permission. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Michael Jackson's family is upset over the charities that are supposed to get 20% of Michael's estate, for reasons unclear. [TMZ]
• After actor James Nesbitt made a joke about shagging Kate Moss at GQ's Men Of The Year Awards in London and Kate reportedly said: "He's so fucking rude. I'll never come to one of these fucking awards ceremonies again!" [Gatecrasher]
• Mary-Kate Olsen was seen "chain-smoking and throwing back shots." [Page Six]
• BREAKING: Kim Kardashian has gone back to brunette. [NY Daily News]
• Hugh Hefner claims soon-to-be-ex-wife Kimberly Conrad cheated on him early on in the marriage, but they are only getting divorced because she sued him over the sale of a house or something. Mo money mo problems. [TMZ]
• Zooey Deschanel will get married in Seattle at the end of the month, FYI. [Page Six]
• Ivanka Trump will get married on October 25 at a golf club. A Trump golf club. [Page Six]
• Do you care about America's Got Talent? Then you may care that columnist Courtney Hazlett thinks the show should be renamed America's Got A Very Broad Definition of Talent. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes: Shacking up. [National Enquirer]
• "It's a Georgian manor. We basically redid the entire thing, from the floors to landscaping to the closets, which are inspired by my New York apartment, with a men's and women's department store-esque feeling! Of course, I have the salon and Nick has a basketball court, which is his favorite place in the house. And I love having the outdoor space so the dogs can play. It's not too small; it's not too big; it's not a monstrosity. It's a home." — Mariah Carey on her new place in L.A. [Elle.com]
• "His movies make money. His movies play everywhere. If I looked like Tom Cruise they just wouldn't say such a thing." — Todd Solondz, on being compared to Woody Allen. [Reuters]
• "[Jessica's] always saying, 'Oh, I want a baby!' Being a mom's so empowering and incredible. I'm one of those people who believes that life brings things to you at a certain time for a certain reason, and if you just go with it, that's where the best moments come from. I've grown up so much. Your body is changing, and it's such an amazing time to feel that connection ... Being pregnant was the healthiest I've ever been in my life. Except for the cupcakes." (Do you envy your sister's freedom as a single girl?) "I really don't." — Ashlee Simpson. [People via Redbook]
• "People can have rhinoceros skin, but there's a point when something's going to hurt you. Not everyone is stone, stone. I haven't watched the news in weeks. I had to ask my chef, 'How's Obama doing?' I haven't read a newspaper." — Janet Jackson, on dealing with her brother's death. [NY Daily News via Harper's Bazaar]
• "I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." — Shawne Merriman, the San Diegos Chargers linebacker accused of choking Tila Tequila, to Playboy. [NY Daily News]
• ''Somehow during the last Genesis tour I dislocated some vertebrae in my upper neck and that affected my hands. After a successful operation on my neck, my hands still can't function normally. Maybe in a year or so it will change, but for now it is impossible for me to play drums or piano. I am not in any 'distressed' state - stuff happens in life.'' — Phil Collins. [Telegraph]
• "How do I put this like a gentleman... I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis. My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli. I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James. I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together." — John Mayer. [ONTD via Twitter]

Also, there is mention of wanting to put Holly Montag in rehab, and Kristin hardcore Frenches JustinBobby. I kind of love Kristin. I like that she says "dude" a lot, and I like that she made fun of Brody Jenner's sex skills. Seriously, thank God Lauren's gone.

I'm glad Samaire Armstrong looks so happy; if I were weighted to the ground by a pair of two-ton lead diver's shoes, I'd be less sanguine.


Katie Cassidy's animal print may skew a little 80's-Barbie, but sometimes maybe that's what you want?


See, why did Kristin Cavallari's little tunic - otherwise quite unexceptionable - have to slit so far up the leg? It turns it into a "shirt" and thus, gross.


I like that Diablo Cody seems to shop her closet/wear regular clothes half the time.


Jenna Dewan's ferocious expression suggests an elaborate revenge fantasy involving these boots.


See, this is how we do it: if you're gonna go hog-wild with the shoes, go simple with the rest, like Eliza Dushku.


Let's be generous and assume the airline lost Shannon Elizabeth's luggage and she was forced to construct an outfit from these random bits and pieces. Otherwise, it's inexplicable.


Shenae Grimes: it's true, Sassy was awesome and the early 90s had some rad music. But, honey, it's over. It's gone.


And report that to Anna Paquin. Although I don't know if her dress and I liked the same music.


If I were Stephanie Jacobsen's parent, there's no way I'd let her leave the house wearing that face.


Wow, has Bridget Marquardt gone demure since leaving the Mansion? (It's all relative)


Aubrey O'Day's shoes match her lipstick. And both match Miami retiree.

[Images via Bauer-Griffin]

• Though Scotland Yard is investigating Lindsay Lohan for stealing jewels from a photo shoot, a rep from British Elle says they have no reason to suspect Linds was the thief.

• A spokeswoman said, "I can confirm on behalf of Elle magazine that items of jewelry went missing from an Elle photo shoot two weeks ago and the matter is now being investigated by the police. Elle has no reason to believe that Lindsay Lohan was in any way responsible and has no further comment to make." [TMZ]
• A temporary restraining order was issued today against Miranda Tozier-Robbins, the woman who was caught trespassing on Britney Spears' property in April. Tozier-Robbins must stay 100 yards from Brit and her home. She will be arraigned next week on two misdemeanor charges. [E!, TMZ]
• When asked who he would most like to punch in the face, Michael Lohan said, "Perez Hilton." But the line is so long! [Perez Hilton]
• Amy Winehouse's parents says she's kicked her drug habit, but is still abusing alcohol. Her father Mitch said, "I need my daughter to be a whole person again. I've tried it all. I said: 'Amy you've got to do this, you've got to go to this doctor, you've got to do this, you've got to do that, you're killing me, you're killing your mum.' None of it worked." He added that her estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil was fuelling her drug habit. "The option of them being together is too horrible to contemplate," he said. [The Sun]
• Linda Hogan's former hairdresser testified in a hearing regarding Hulk Hogan's motion to reduce the amount of alimony he pays Linda that "She was actually buying drugs with the money... She told me that." The woman said Linda asked her to cash check from Hulk for her to mislead his attorneys about how the money was being spent. [TampaBay.com]
• In response, Brooke Hogan told E! that she feels betrayed by her mother. "I look at the things she's released and said about me and I'm like, how could I ever trust her again?" she said, "I'm the only one with my head on straight." [E!]
• Barbara Walters is mad because an online ad for an anti-aging pill called Exilatrol is using her picture and says "As seen on Barbara Walters and 60 Minutes." She Tweeted: "If u see ads for products with Resveratrol showing my photo and name they are false." [TMZ]
• Beyonce will perform at the BET Awards on June 21. [Rolling Stone]
• Last night on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Heidi Pratt wore the exact same dress Kristin Cavallari wore on the show a few days earlier. No one knows why, but producers on The Hills probably have an inkling. [Perez Hilton]
• Several sources say publisher William Morris Endeavor is considering a book proposal form Portia de Rossi. She's submitted a writing sample that deals with her battle with anorexia. [NY Observer]
• Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett says he'll be very involved in fiance Kendra Wilkinson's pregnancy. "It takes two people to get pregnant. You can't have just one person doing everything," said Baskett. "There's going to be some things I can't make, but I'm going to try my hardest to be at every appointment, at every meeting, everything." He added, "Hef will be a part of the baby's life. That's one of the first things we want to do is bring the baby out here to California and let Hef be introduced. I can see 'The Godfather' being a good name for Hef!" [People]
• Weird Al Yankovic has released a new single, "Craigslist," which he says is an homage to the Doors. [UPI]
• Adam Lambert says he has met a lot of celebrities recently, but Madonna made him the most starstruck. He "I met Madonna and that was pretty wild. Most everybody I've met is pretty cool and on the level, but Madonna is just legendary," he said. "I've been a fan of hers since I was a kid. So that's definitely part of the intimidation factor." [People]
• At their daughter's high school graduation, sources say Tatum O'Neal was seated in the section reserved for extended family, while her ex-husband John McEnroe and his new wife were near the stage. O'Neal's rep denies there was tension between the two, saying, "Tatum went to say hello to relatives and returned to her assigned seat, in the immediate-family section." [The Daily Express]
• Here's a clip from 500 Days of Summer starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. [New York Magazine]
• "Heidi Klum Gains Preggers Pounds, Still Looks Hot." Heidi says, "I'm bigger than I should be, but I always gain 40-45 pounds, so I still have a ways to go." [E!]
• Though many unpleasant details about her life came out during the run of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle Staub says she has no regrets. "We're just allowing everyone to see what goes on all over the place," she said. "We're just letting everyone else see [our drama]. That's why people are relating to us so well - because it's what's happening with them. People are acting like that everywhere. We're making it okay." [People]
• Damn fine news: Kyle MacLachlan wants to play Agent Dale Cooper again. He says, "I have a crazy idea to bring back Twin Peaks on the net as five minute webisodes." But he explains David Lynch won't be involved, adding, "David's focus is more on transcendental meditation now." [The Daily Express]
• Whitney Houston's untitled comeback album will be released on September 1 and features a duet with Akon and a track written and produced by Alicia Keys. [Showbiz 411]
• Jordan says that she suffered from post-natal depression after her 4-year-old son was born. "After post-natal depression it has taken me four years to get to the healthy place I am now - I now no longer need anti-depressants," she says, "It does take time, but you will feel better again and I am absolutely fine." [The Sun]
• Billy Joel wants to buy his wife Katie Lee, who was a host on Top Chef, a restaurant in Sag Harbor, New York. [TMZ]
• Shocking news: 16-year old Selena Gomez says she's never been in love, despite having dated Nick Jonas and Taylor Lautner. [People]
• Ashanti will make her stage debut this week as Dorothy in a New York production of The Wiz. She says she picked the show because, "It's such a historical, historical piece. It means so much to my family. I actually played Dorothy in The Muppets' Wizard of Oz ironically. I can relate to her character so much, just being innocent and naïve starting out in this business and gradually learning as you move along." [The New York Times]
• Lapsed Scientologist/billionaire James Packer has offered Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes the use of his private suite in Melbourne's Crown Towers complex for the next month while Tom films in Australia. [News.com.au]
• Lucie Kim, the woman suing Miley Cyrus over the racist photo she took has amended the lawsuit to say that Justin Gaston should have stopped her because as an adult, Miley's parents gave him authority to "supervise, manage, guard, and oversee [Miley's] conduct while in [his] presence." [TMZ]
• Though there has been no mention of another Indiana Jones movie, Shia LaBeouf announced "Steven [Spielberg] just said that he cracked the story on it, and I think they're gearing that up." [Total Film]
• Last night comedian Artie Lange hijacked the taping of the first episode of HBO's Joe Buck Live, making obscene and homophobic jokes about Buck and Tony Romo, and saying Jessica Simpson is a "fat chick" who looks like Chris Farley. "Do I think it went too far? Yes," said Buck. "Will he be back? If it's up to me, no. But again it's live TV man." [USA Today]
• As part of the guerilla marketing for Hammertime the new A&E show about the life of MC Hammer, a group of people wearing gold harem pants bust into a L.A. clothing store and danced to "You Can't Touch This." You can watch the video at the link. [AdRants]
• FYI, Robert Pattinson is the "most handsome man in the world," according to a Vanity Fair poll and a legion of 14-year-old girls. [Vanity Fair]
• Kim Kardashian says Heidi Pratt called her to ask for advice about doing Playboy "Actually, I was in Mexico and I got a call from Heidi saying, 'Call me right now,'" Kardashian says. "So I called her and she had said to me, 'What do you think? What's your opinion on if I were to do Playboy?'" She told her to "go for it... I think that now's the time," says Kim. "I think it's a very classy magazine. It's artsy. I talked her through the whole process and helped her make up her mind." [ONTD]
• When asked if she dresses up for her husband Josh Duhamel, Fergie said, "Oh, girl, I've got a big chest of fun little numbers, ones that I would never wear in public... I like to have fun with my costume onstage; why wouldn't I in the bedroom?" [People]
• Jada Pinkett Smith revealed some sex tips, and the fact that she's a really party guest to Redbook. She says: "Be sneaky... your girlfriend's house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom... Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex.... Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary! Pull over on the side of the road... Just switch it up. Anything like that can keep it going. Anything it takes to keep the flame alive." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz has been celibate for the past four years. He explains that four years ago, "I was doing my normal thing and I was with somebody, and I remember waking up in the morning thinking, 'What am I doing?' It's not that I was all over the place. It's not, like, groupies or somebody you'd pick up on the street. I didn't carry on like that. It was somebody that I know. But it was still, 'What am I doing? And why?' And that morning I was just talking to God, as I do, and I said, 'You got to help me to stop this. I just really want to stop this.' And that was the day that it changed." [The Telegraph]
• Denis Leary on Susan Boyle: "I think she's a hobbit. The no expectations aspect was fantastic. I kind of wanted her to be the person who not only could sing, but was gonna tell everyone to fuck off and would become the new sex symbol. I hope she comes back fucking crazy like Judy Garland on acid. I'd like to feed her a lot of booze and pills and just let her sing beautiful songs and threaten people from the stage." [TV Squad]

• You may want to just give up on life: Kristin Cavallari is getting $63,000 per episode to "play" a "villain" on The Hills. [PopCrunch]

• A hotel employee on Madonna's backup dancers: "Horrible." "Notoriously difficult… rude… presumptuous and cheap." [Page Six]
• Breaking: Uncle Jesse John Stamos is "conceptualizing" a Full House feature film! The Tanners' triumphant return! [Gatecrasher]
• David Carradine's death is still a mystery — he was found in a sitting position, but with a yellow rope attached to a closet bar around his neck. "We believe that Mr. David committed suicide but it is suspicious," says a police official in Bangkok. [People]
• Further details show that David Carradine may have died "from "auto-erotic accident." [Yahoo News via AFP]
• David Carradine will be seen on his Tuesday's episode of Mental. [E!]
• "Britney Jean Spears was not born into a stable home. She was born into a dysfunctional disordered one because of her father's alcoholic rages… She was on Prozac at 18… Britney was prescribed Prozac but she treated it like headache tablets, taking a pill only on the days she awoke depressed. This seemed to make her more manic…" [Mirror]
• While Britney's in London, she'd like to drop in on the Queen. [Mirror]
• Susan Boyle is out of the hospital and already has an offer to perform for Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher — for £30,000. Also, the portrayal of her as a crazy cat lady persists, since this paper claims she left the clinic because "she could no longer bear to be parted from her family, friends and beloved cat Pebbles." [Daily Mail]
• Krist Novoselic, former bassist for Nirvana, is running for clerk of Wahkiakum County in western Washington. Apparently he is running under the "Grange Party" banner, even though the Grange isn't a political party; it's a protest of the state's system that lets candidates say what party they prefer when running for office. [USA Today]
• The Slumdog kids are in Hong Kong today, where they will sing and dance (?) at a charity event. [AP]
• Lance Armstrong Tweeted in the voice of his new baby boy, writing: "Wassup, world? My name is Max Armstrong and I just arrived. My Mommy is healthy and so am I!" [E!]
• The woman who claims she was assaulted by Sacha Baron Cohen while he was filming Bruno says her injuries are "life-altering," as she suffered brain bleeds and sometimes requires assistance walking. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez was "really nervous" before working on her new flick, the Back-Up Plan, because, she says, "What if I forgot how to act?" Or! What if you were never really good at it in the first place??? [National Enquirer]
• Jay-Z will release his Blueprint 3 album on Sept. 11. Interesting choice of date. [Billboard]
• Living on St. Lucia has had an affect on Amy Winehouse's sound and she is recording with "local musicians" who play traditional island instruments. Sounds… awesome? Whatever, just release some new music! [The Sun]
• Kelly Bensimon — seen here in a rather see-through dress — says of Real Housewives: "I think it was not exactly me just because I was incredibly guarded. I was a nervous wreck! Like after the show, Jill said to me, 'You're such a nice person, why weren't you like that on the show?' I felt badly too because I didn't get to see the real me." So you were being fake then? Interesting. Oh, she also says: "On Planet Kelly, everything is happy, the grass is really green, people are really really nice .... There's, like, fun everywhere and there's excitement and new opportunities all around. It's a really great place - you should come!" [NY Mag]
• Amanda Seyfried's latest film, Letters To Julliet, starts shooting soon, but her leading man hasn't been cast yet. Who would you like to see Amanda fall in love with? [Telegraph]
• Wait! Gael Garcia Bernal has signed on to star with Amanda Seyfried in Letters To Juliet. [Variety]
• Sienna Miller and some other celebs wrote a letter to Nobu restaurant in London which reads: "We feel strongly that blue fin tuna must be completely removed from your menu as it is an extremely endangered animal." [The Sun]
• Other celebs protesting the use of blue fin tuna: Woody Harrelson, Elle Macpherson, Sting, Trudie Styler, Charlize Theron, Stuart Townsend and Alicia Silverstone. [Page Six]
• "Agency Feeding Frenzy Over Ice Cube." The actor/rapper, not the unit of frozen water. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Kate Beckinsale was supposed to play Barbarella in the remake? But lost out to Rose McGowan? Hmm. We'd always heard it was Rose. [Daily Express]
• This review of a recent Mandy Moore show claims that she was "strangely tentative onstage" until the last song, a "rootsy" cover of her pop hit, "Candy," which she "seemed to enjoy more than anything else in the set." [NY Times]
• Shannen Doherty is selling her Malibu home, which has interesting contemporary architecture and a pretty nice pool. Also dig the exposed beams in the living room. [CasaSugar]
• In other 90210 news, Jason Priestley will direct and online series called The Lake. [Reuters]
• Is Jennie Garth a Twihard? She makes husband Peter Facinelli dress up as his Dr. Cullen character all the time, he claims: "She says, 'Put the doctor's coat on!' I'm like, 'Again?'" [Gatecrasher]
• M.I.A. has a record label called N.E.E.T. and this track, "Bang!" is from Rye Rye, the first artist signed. Just the thing to get jumpstarted on a sleepy Friday. [ConcreteLoop]
• "Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal planned to wed in Germany this spring but organisers couldn't arrange the big day in time." [Daily Express]
• Gene Simmons passed a kidney stone and promptly sold it on eBay — for charity. Charming! [Mirror]
• "Boris Becker goes wedding dress shopping with his fiancée Lilly Kerssenberg." She is awfully pretty. Together they certainly cut a figure. [Daily Mail]
• Phil Spector's 28-year-old wife denies she is a gold digger: "I don't take anything from my husband, and I never have. I'm a good person, but people don't see any of that or know how hard I work. I can weed whack. Rip out walls. Lay tile." Also, her pantsuit is 10 years old. "I've had this since high school." She does, however, wear a 9-carat diamond she and 69-year-old Spector "designed together." And now that he is in jail, she always has her hot pink BlackBerry with her: "I never know when he is going to be allowed to call. Whenever he calls, I answer." [LA Times]
• RIP Shih Kien, who played Bruce Lee's enemy in 1973's Enter the Dragon. [AP]
• "Being married is like being on a game show and you're always in the lightning round. I have a podium in my living room, and in the morning I hit the clicker button: 'I'll take Movies That I Think We Saw Together for 200.' The woman is always the returning champion from last week: 'I'll take Details of a 10-Minute Conversation We Had at 3 in the Morning Eight Years Ago...' " — Jerry Seinfeld. [E!]
• "I still can't believe we have a president who is mixed like me. It's one thing that we have a black president but for me it's even crazier because he's mixed. I feel like I come from a smaller off shoot of black people because I am mixed. People say I'm African American but that doesn't include the other half of me. I can't believe I'm living in a time where I feel proud of my president where I feel like things are actually positive and people feel good about where our country can be." — Maya Rudolph. [Women & Hollywood]
• "[Nurse Jackie] is physically low maintenance — that was a huge appeal. Very much like I am. I didn't want to spend a lot of time in makeup. On Sopranos, the nails, the hair, the makeup and the jewelry was very not who I am. It was fun, but after eight years I was ready to try something else." — Edie Falco. [Reuters]
• "All directors compare themselves to Orson Welles, who did his masterpiece at 26. So when you start and you're nearly 40, you're like, 'Oh god, I'm so behind.'" — Michel Gondry. [Independent]
• "I have a pretty amazing personality, and I'm pretty intelligent. Don't just write me off as a pinup" — Megan Fox to Elle. [Page Six]
• "A very smart person told me once what other people think of me is none of my business. ... I do not Google myself. I know that's only going to end badly." — Edie Falco. [Reuters]
• "We do not hang out." — Jill Zarin on the Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't know why that's either untapped or overlooked or not done well because there is really no excuse for it. This is a perfect example of it [being well done]. It's not as if women don't exist. I will say that in general there is a lot of crap in the world. It wasn't until I was thrown in the water on day 1 of Saturday Night Live where they said you write for yourself. That's what everyone does. I learned the enormous power of writing for yourself, especially now that people seem to be receptive to the fact that women can write." — Maya Rudolph, who stars in Away We Go, on why women are sometimes underwritten or ignored in Hollywood films. [Women & Hollywood]
• "I can't think of anything more horrible than sharing what I'm doing all day" — Renée Zellweger to Glamour on why she won't use Twitter. [Page Six]