Know what's great about Carrie Underwood's dress? You just know from sense memory that it feels like one of those Barbie gowns.


Don't worry, Selena Gomez, there's enough glitz to go around!


So, over the weekend I was considering the purchase of a pair of silk tap shorts. And the saleslady said to me, "the great thing is, when you can't decide between a skirt or pants, you reach for the shorts." Wonder if that was Chani Christie's process.


I like how Melissa Etheridge always puts just enough thought into her selections to make you think. Think about...life. And sequins.


Ah, the barber pole. The last refuge of a scoundrel.


Reba McIntyre may or may not have ridden here. Through a briar patch. Western-style, presumably.


Shakira looks adorable, is apparently going to walk through a Medieval town square filled with excrement for an audience with the king.


That's good: otherwise we might not have been sure where Kelly Clarkson's breasts were.


It's like Toni Braxton's leg is about to perform a Gypsy Rose Lee-style striptease.


What Phoebe Price has to do with American Music, I can't say. What she has to do with "never disappointing" is a lot.


Oh, but you know what's apparently over my head? Leona Lewis's dress.


Paula Abdul, once again, dressed for a ball that only she is attending. This may be genius. It may be tragic.


Rihanna's die-cut doily: the evening's most creative - and prettiest - look.


Is Alicia Keys' frock a) for a figure-skating engagement later in the evening b) a bet she lost c) Andy Kaufman-style performance art or, and I very much fear it's this, d) none of the above?


Kristen, psst...there's a strip missing from your dress. Oh, it's supposed to be like that? I'll just...walk over here. There's Val Kilmer. In a hat.


Remember those weird "toys" where there were a bunch of pins in a box and you stuck your hand or, if you were brave, your face in, and it sort of hurt, but at the end you had a really neat, ephemeral impression of it? Fergie does!


I'll say this for Bobby Trendy. He's gotten his picture up on Getty.

[Images via Getty]

• Lindsay Lohan's friends and family want her to go to rehab but she's not having it. A source says her parents' public bickering would "drive even the most normal of people over the edge" and Linds is drinking to cope.

• "With Michael spouting off to the press, Dina pressuring Lindsay to get a restraining order against her father, it's a situation that would drive even the most normal of people over the edge. Lindsay just can't deal with it, and unfortunately her coping mechanism includes alcohol," says a source, who adds that though everyone around her thinks she needs rehab, "it's not even being considered by Lindsay, it's not even on the cards for her." [Radar Online]
• Nicholas Prugo, the man accused of burglarizing Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge, has been formally charged with two felonies and is facing up to six years in prison. [People]
• TLC has figured out how to make a few more bucks off of Jon and Kate Plus 8. On Monday TLC will air a "no holds barred" one hour special featuring Kate Gosselin talking about her life and answering questions submitted by viewers. [Radar Online]
• When Jon Gosselin was asked if he would date Nadya Suleman, who said he was "hot" yesterday, he said, "no way," adding, "I want to get through this divorce and focus on my kids….. its kind of weird though." [Radar Online]
• A psychiatrist who treated Anna Nicole Smith testified today that she tried to kick her prescription drug addiction cold turkey when she found out she was pregnant, but she relapsed. The doctor said that when she checked into Cedars-Sinai Medical center she said, "I'll do anything for my baby," but then she walked out of treatment a week later. [People]
• After pleading guilty to vandalism in 1997 Richard Heene had to wear an electronic bracelet to monitor his whereabouts for 30 days. [Radar Online]
• Avril Lavigne filed for divorce from Deryck Whibley last week and he's already been spotted making out with girlfriend Hanna Beth Merjos in public. [TMZ]
• LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian have been flaunting their adulterous love. They were photographed on a date at a sushi restaurant last night and at a college football game this weekend. [People]
• Kelly Osbourne was taken to the emergency room after last night's taping of Dancing With The Stars because the buckle on her shoe slammed into her foot toward the end of her routine. It's unclear if the injury will affect her dancing. [E!]
• Michael Jackson's former lawyer, Sidney Lanier, is suing his estate for $3 million because he says MJ ruined his reputation and refused to pay him after he represented him in a 2005 case involving Marc Schaffel. Lanier says he wishes MJ hadn't died because he "wanted him to apologize for his action against me; because of his tragic death that can never happen." [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray may be arrested soon for not paying child support for his 10-year-old son. According to court documents he had no intention to "evade his obligations" but "is temporarily unable to maintain a practice or obtain employment because of the extensive media coverage related to the death of Michael Jackson." [TMZ]
• The Jingle Bell Ball at London's O2 Area featuring Janet Jackson, Shakira, and Ne-Yo sold out in an hour. [The Mirror]
• There are rumors that when Shakira attended UCLA in 2007 she disguised herself as a boy but she says, "It was a little joke I made once. I didn't really dress like a guy. I used to go to university in disguise, in a cap and baggy pants. So I looked pretty much looked like a boy." [People]
• FYI, Jordan and Peter Andre are both rooting for the same X Factor contestant. [The Sun]
• Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels will star on her own NBC show Losing It Will Jillian in 2010. [People]
• Now that The Beautiful Life has been cancelled Mischa Barton has "lots of time to work out." As for her next project, she says, "I think I need to back away from the whole TV approach. That whole world of network television, probably isn't, for me, a good idea now. I need to start reading for more serious roles." [People]
• Kanye West removed the video for "See You in My Nightmares" from his website. It was directed by Spike Jonze and featured Kanye stabbing himself in the stomach. Kanye wrote, "sorry I had to take it down," but didn't explain why he removed it. [UPI]
• Adam Jasinski, the season nine winner of Big Brother told a federal agent that he used his $500,000 prize to buy oxycodone pills and resell them. He's been charged with attempting to sell 2,000 pills to a government witness. He's facing 20 years in prison and a $1 million fine. [AP]
• You can listen to the 911 call Kourtney Kardashian made after her house was burglarized on Saturday here: [TMZ]
• Don't worry: the rumors that Vin Diesel is dropping out of xXx: The Return of Xander Cage aren't true. [MTV]
• "I used to judge myself so harshly. I think women in their 20s do. You're hard on your body, you're hard on yourself. But you start to realize that none of it is really all that important. As long as you're comfortable, the best parts of yourself come through no matter what. Your mother can tell you that a million times, but you don't understand it until you live it!" — Reese Witherspoon [CNN]
• Kristen Bell says, "There is almost nothing, barring a natural disaster, that I would let eat into my time at home, playing Scrabble with [boyfriend Dax Shepard] or talking to my girlfriends... There's packing your day and then there's jam-packing your day, and I won't do it anymore. I need to decompress. I need to feel like I'm a person – a human being – first." [People]
• Roald Dahl's widow says of Wes Anderson's film adaptation of The Fantastic Mr. Fox, "I think Roald would have loved it. I can hear him quietly laughing as we watched it. We've had two full screenings now with various members of the family, and there's a very wide range of ages in the family, and they've all loved it. One of my grandsons, who's 13, hit the nail on the head: somebody asked him, 'Do you think children will like this?' And he turned round and said, 'Well, they'll be pretty boring if they don't.'" [The Telegraph]
• Bronson Pinchot is best known for his role on Perfect Strangers, but he was also in Risky Business. He says: "We didn't know it was going to be a big hit. We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth ... He called us all by our character names. He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, 'You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?' I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, 'It's a nice day, I'm glad there are no gay people standing here.' Very, very strange. Years and years later when people started to torment him with that, I used to think 'God, that's really fitting, because he tormented a lot of people as a 20-year-old.' He made such a big deal about it." [A.V. Club]

• Kate Moss and her boyfriend, Jamie Hince, have been invited to spend Christmas on Johnny Depp's private island with Depp and his wife, Vanessa Paradis. Celebrities! They're just like us...if we had an ex-boyfriend with a private island. [TheSun]

• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are reportedly together again, for the 80th time. [TheSun]
• The pair were seen eating dinner together with Courteney Cox Arquette and her husband, David, and Aniston was "was on his arm and they were very lovey." [TheSun]
• Meanwhile, Aniston and her father, John Aniston have come together to narrate a children's book for charity; $2 from each book sold will be given to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. [JustJared]
• Blake Lively is allegedly a very big fan of Victoria Beckham and recently tried to convince Beckham to guest star on Gossip Girl, taking her case to the producers of the show. "Victoria isn't an actress and wanted her role to be very tongue-in-cheek," says a source, "And an idea for her to play Ed Westwick's long-lost mother was quickly vetoed. Victoria joked that she'd rather play his ex-love interest!" [ShowbizSpy]
• 3,000 people came out to say farewell to Boyzone star Stephen Gately this morning at his funeral; Gately passed away at the age of 33 last week. [Reuters]
• Pete Wentz, who says he wants a "soccer team" of kids, also says that having a son made him realize how much his own father did for him: "It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." [People]
• An interesting question for your Saturday morning: "Is Kevin Costner Germany's new David Hasselhoff?" [People]
• Larry Birkhead claims that Anna Nicole Smith took methadone while pregnant with their daughter, Dannielynn, as she feared withdrawal would cause her to lose the baby. [NYDN]
• Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis was caught on tape screaming a homophobic slur at a doorman last night after being denied entrance a club. [TMZ]
• TLC reportedly knows just how much money Jon Gosselin has been making from his interviews and promotional appearances, and, according to RadarOnline, "the network wants all that money plus damages in a court battle that has the strong possibility of leaving Jon flat broke." [RadarOnline]
• Michael Crichton's wife and daughter are currently fighting over the late author's estate, as Crichton's daughter wants his wife (her step-mother) removed as trustee of Crichton's estate. [UPI]
• Levi Johnston is preparing for his upcoming Playgirl shoot by eating tons of lean protein, including moose meat, according to his trainer: "Moose meat is very good for you, high in protein and very lean." [People]
• Two Ohio police chiefs accused of breaking in to the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate in order to collect information on Parker and her husband, Matthew Broderick, to sell to the tabloids, face between 14-21 years of jail if convicted. [E!]
• Ryan Reynolds is currently working on a film "described as a dude-in-drag romantic comedy, with Reynolds playing a jilted lover who must disguise himself as a woman and befriend his ex in order to win her back." [Variety]
• "I've found that people are cool if you don't treat them like jerks."-Penn Badgely [NYTimes]
• Andrew Keegan's ex-girlfriend claims she isn't surprised that a judge refused to grant her a permanent restraining order against Keegan, whom she's accused of abusing her in the past: "
  "I'm fine. I guess deep down inside, I knew I had a slim chance in winning, considering I didn't hire an expensive lawyer to bail me out. In fact, I went alone as a strong woman who was standing up to someone who hurt her." [TMZ]
• "What they really want from us is just to open the movie and then get lost after introducing a new generation of ghostbusters, who can start the franchise all over again. I've heard the script idea, and part of it is good but, ye know, it's going to be tough to start again." -Bill Murray on Ghostbusters III [TimesOnline]
• Cindy Crawford says she gets her famous mole checked often, as she fears it might become cancerous. [DailyMail]
• Curious about the type of condoms Jamie Kennedy uses? Well, wonder no more, I guess. [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian says no matter what she does, bloggers and commenters will criticize her body: "Well, I am always fat no matter how much weight I lose. It's like I can never have a good body. But I have a really strong sense of self-esteem. It kind of frustrates me because I do work really hard. I eat really well and I try to look the best I can." [ShowbizSpy]
• Debbie Rowe has filed a $490,000 lawsuit against Rebecca White, who claimed that she had an email from Rowe stating that Rowe didn't want custody of her children with Michael Jackson. [TMZ]
• "I want to hate Megan Fox more than anything. We all do. But I read a bunch of her quotes, and she's witty and smart and carefree. I thought, ‘This is the kind of girl I'd love to be friends with."-Kristen Bell [ShowbizSpy]

• Michael and Dina Lohan will work together on getting Lindsay Lohan off of pills. Says Michael Lohan. [Radar Online]

• Papa Lohan says of Lindsay: "Her problem is prescription drug use. I've seen pictures of her in Paris, and she looks totally out of it. There are morons hanging around her, and they have their hands on my daughter." [Gatecrasher]
• But! Dina Lohan says: "I don't go — like my ex — on national television and make things up. He's estranged from Lindsay; he doesn't know what's going on in her life. Michael doesn't talk to her. "I've had full custody of all my children for the last 10 years. He has been incarcerated for some of that time, so whatever is going on in Lindsay's personal life is our business. And for him getting paid to say things about her when he's five months behind in child support is wrong." Oh, and re: Ungaro, Dina sniffs: "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius." [Page Six]
• "Leave Lindsay alone. Let her be a real 23-year-old. Let her grow, and let her artistic abilities flourish. Stop judging the Britneys and the Lindsays. They are very creative girls, and that is a gift from a higher power of God."— Dina Lohan. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's personal physician, may face arrest — and could lose his medical license — after missing a late child support hearing. [NY Post]
• "The CBS producer accused of blackmailing David Letterman was convinced the comic king bedded 'six or seven' female staffers, a pal of the newsman said Thursday." [NY Daily News]
• A chimpanzee was supposed to be a guest judge on Dancing With The Stars on Tuesday, but PETA complained. This is not a joke. [NY Post]
• Nicole Kidman has teamed up with Omega watches — she signed watch boxes to benefit the United Nations Development Fund for Women. Fifty percent of the proceeds of the watch sales will go to UNIFEM. [WWD]
• Jon Gosselin didn't leave the twins' birthday party at 6pm — he stayed to put his kids to bed. And he was cordial to Kate. But did not spend the night. [TMZ, People]
• You know how Jon Gosselin brought a misspelled birthday cake (it's "Mady", not "Maddy") to his kids' birthday party? Well it was sort of an insult to Kate, who was making a cake from scratch. [BBC News]
• Mischa Barton was spotted buying rounds of shots for Ryan Ross — formerly of Panic At The Disco; currently in Young Veins. [Gatecrasher]
• Mischa Barton was spotted getting out a cab in front of a bar, yelling "I need a drink!" Been there. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh, Nicolas Cage owes over six million dollars in unpaid taxes. Uncle Sam doesn't like that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Phil is denying that he forced a woman to stare at a naked man and grabbed her breast. [TMZ]
• Hilary Swank walks around naked in front of her boyfriend's son. "You wonder at what age you should stop walking around nude," she admits. "But he doesn't look twice. He doesn't think about it yet." Really? He's 6 years old. [Gatecrasher via Marie Claire]
• Khloe Kardashian will now be known as Khloe Kardashian Odom. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• Robin Williams will do his stand up act, Weapons Of Self Destruction, in NYC in November, his first show since having heart surgery. [NY Daily News]
• LOL: Woody Harrelson gets his zombie punchlines from Paul McCartney. [NY Post]
• Mya's dress split at a party; she used safety pins and staples to cobble it back together. Stars are just like us! [Page Six]
• "The husband of Danielle Staub from "Real Housewives of New Jersey" claims she strait up lied when she called him a rapist and a dog murderer ... and now he's suing her for defamation." [TMZ]
• At the link is a recap and insider report and blow-by-blow account of Jeremy Piven's Broadway drama/Speed-the-Plow meltdown. [NY Times]
• Kylie Minogue will do a residency in Vegas? Makes total sense. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Kylie: her ex-boyfriend Olivier Martinez has accepted undisclosed libel damages over a claim that he had cheated on her during their long-term relationship. The Sun apparently makes stuff up. [The Star]
• Breaking: Audrina Patridge is single and happy. [People]
• Kristen Bell will star as Christina Aguilera's rival in Burlesque, a musical drama about "a small-town girl with a big-town voice who finds love and success in a neo-burlesque club." You guys, Cher plays the club owner. CHER. [Hollywood Reporter]
• On the Wanda Sykes HBO special: "She is… the funniest person in America… Sykes gets the crowd laughing early and keeps them laughing to the end, with no significant down time and no cheap tricks… [It] all builds to a prolonged, brilliant segment on being gay and black that puts a racial spin on every coming-out cliché- making us see both with new eyes." [USA Today]
• "Filmmaker Steven Spielberg, long recognized for his artistic achievements, was honored with the Liberty Medal on Thursday for his compassion and humanitarian work." [AP]
• Parker Posey has joined the cast of Highland Park, a dark comedy with Danny Glover. The film focuses on the high school faculty in a struggling community. In the story, a teacher wins the lottery and uses the cash to restore the local library; the film is actually attempting to help reopen a real library in Detroit. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "Thursday's episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta took a dark turn. Following the news of the death of Anthony "AJ" Jewel outside his Atlanta strip club last week, viewers watched his then-fiancée, Housewife Kandi Burruss, waver about the future of their relationship - awkwardly unaware, as the cameras rolled, that the relationship had no future." [People]
• Isaiah Washington: Still looking for jobs. Sources say it's not because of the Grey's fallout, but because he is difficult to work with. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Gloria Estefan bought 2,000 tickets for her concert in Puerto Rico this weekend and will distribute them via raffle among 17,000 recently laid-off government workers. [AP]
• Gladys Knight is embarking on a farewell tour? Is she taking a midnight train? [Independent]
• "I'm in 'Gay Paris' — I swear as an Englishman that by the time I leave tomorrow it'll be known as 'Hetero Paris.' Or at least Bi Paris." — Russell Brand. [NY Daily News]
• "I was always thinking 'how am I going to keep my old chap in my pants?' But Ayda and me are very loved up – sprogs on the way and all that business. I don't know what will go on down the road, but I don't want to do anything to fuck it up or do anything to upset her." — Robbie Williams on gf Ayda Field. [Telegraph]
• "My dad went into a rant. Farrah came flying at him to defend herself, he blocked her and, in the process, broke her arm. They spun the truth to protect Ryan (but) I was there, I saw it happen." — Griffin O'Neal says his father Ryan O'Neal cheated on Farrah Fawcett and was abusive. [Daily Express]
• "It's obviously very strange, a little mad. Especially the [Audrey] Hepburn comparisons. I mean, that's such a lovely thing to say about the film, and I see it in the Paris montage. But you know, I didn't think about the end product much when I was making it. I just thought, what fun! There's Emma Thompson! I had to fight for this part; I auditioned three times and must have called my agent every day for two months afterwards. I knew it was a special gang going in, but I just thought…oh, I have to play Jenny. Her journey is enormous." — Carey Mulligan on all the buzz her performance in new film An Education is getting, in which she plays "a fiercely intelligent teenage girl living in barely pre-Beatles London." [The Daily Beast]
• "It's fucking weird. I'll be the first to admit that New York is one of the greatest cities in the world. But what you see on screen is not the life we really lead." — Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley, who likes taco stands, not fancy restaurants. [BlackBook]
• "The only expert thing I know about a relationship is that I don't know anything. I think every time I think I know something, obviously you then learn that you don't know anything, but I do know this to be true: I know that men marry women hoping that they will not change, and women marry men hoping that they will change, and inevitably, everyone's disappointed." — Vince Vaughn. [Independent]
• "Younger guys are generally more adventurous, not set in their ways. I don't like guys my age because they are normally either married or divorced and grumpy, fat and balding." — Madonna. [Daily Express]

When it comes to Malin Akerman's two-toner: lumpy and bizarre, or oddly successful?


Diablo Cody makes us ponder the eternal question: are Chucks and their derivatives always appropriate - or never? Philosophers have spent centuries without finding the answer.


Writer Dana Fox is a writer, whom Carrie Bradshaw, by her own admission, respects. And yet her dress could be more flattering and less prom-like, which Carrie Bradshaw would also respect. So I for one can't help wondering: when it comes to clothes, are we all naked emperors?


Kristen Bell looks characteristically lovely, and yet at the same time her dress encapsulates two seemingly contradictory attributes that I'd previously only seen reconciled in La Perla underwear: dowdiness and trashiness.


Karen David, too, looks beautiful - and yet her dress has the quality of those heavy, hand-sewn taffeta formals from the 40s or 50s one sometimes finds at flea markets, and whose seams then one accidentally bursts behind the rack of clothes which serves as a dressing room, and which then end up, out of guilt, hanging forever in one's closet.


Natasha Gregson Wagner pulls off that effortless-basics-that-are-actually-probably-Dries-van-Noten-and-cost-thousands-of-dollars look beautifully. And her hair is also adorable.


Rachel Smith skews a little Barbie, but she looks so happy, who cares?


Kali Hawk, meanwhile, skews a little American-Apparel-on-overdrive (not to give them any ideas. This would be a bleak - albeit shiny - future.)


I have many problems with Erika Christensen's otherwise cute getup, and by many I mean "her belt."


If you gotta go grape, and I guess you gotta, Jonna Walsh's simple frock is a good way to go.


Tasha Smith is seriously feeling this recent-retro trend. And I hope signals its end.


All this excitement over the Olympics has gotten Janna Fassaert thinking about triple axles! Apparently.


So here's the thing: is the Queen's power great enough to elevate this accursed event - or is she merely degraded by association? I think its evil is such that the latter is true. It was certainly true of National Treasure. (And while we're not on the subject, can we talk about what's happened to the History Channel? It's all Founding Fathers' Codes and Ancient Aliens!)

[Images via Getty]

• Julia Roberts is in India shooting Eat, Pray, Love, and security is tight on the film set:

50 local police officers and security officers are guarding Julia; yet kids and villagers are climbing trees and rooftops to get a glimpse of the Hollywood star. [AP]

• Michael Jackson is making money at the box office: This Is It accounted for 71% of all sales yesterday on the ticket site fandango.com. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna might marry boyfriend Jesus Luz, according to reports. She apparently likes how he checks in all the time and understands that she is self-involved — plus, says a source, "the sex is scorching hot." Husband material! [Daily Mail]
• This column claims that Penelope Cruz must be pregnant: She went to an OB/GYN with boyfriend Javier Bardem. Maybe he just tagged along for her Pap smear? [NY Daily News]
• Teri Hatcher, who was a guest on Friday's (canceled) episode of The Tonight Show, says that Conan O'Brien has a concussion: "We did this bit and at the very end, when we ran in to cross the finish line, he slipped as he was crossing the finish line and hit his head… And the thing was, I was in front of him so I didn't see it initially. He didn't get off floor right a way, but then he [seemed] like he recovered and [pulled] it together, and they did an instant replay, and you could really see his head hit the floor. He did go to the hospital and he does have a concussion." [ET]
• Sources say Kanye West has an alcohol problem. "He's been boozing heavily ever since his mother died," an insider says. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kanye West was seen acting "reserved, quiet and humble for once." [Gatecrasher]
• "Roman Polanski's Arrest Could Lead to Extradition."[NY Times]
• "Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland could lead to diplomatic row." [Times Of London]
• "Poland, France seek Polanski's release." [USA Today]
• "France, Poland want Polanski released on bail." [AP]
• "'Outraged' Roman Polanski's wife vows to fight extradition to U.S. after he is arrested over 1977 underage sex charge." [Daily Mail]
• "Roman Polanski is weighing his legal options after his arrest Saturday at the Zurich Airport. If he agrees to allow extradition, he could be sent to the U.S. within a few days. If he fights the order, it could take several months for the case to get through Swiss courts." [Variety]
• Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom on Sunday at a private residence in Beverly Hills. She wore Vera Wang; the flowers were all white; preparation for the nuptials were covered by cameras from E!. [People]
• The wedding will air on E!'s Keeping Up With The Kardashians, in case you weren't clear on that. [NY Daily News]
• Here's the thing: E! agreed to pick up the $1 million tab for Khloe Kardashian's wedding only if it was staged by Sunday — that way it could open the new seaason of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But since Lamar Odom's lawyers didn't have time to do a pre-nup, yesterday's "wedding" may not have been legally binding. [NY Post]
• Padma Lakshmi, 39, is reportedly pregnant with her first child by boyfriend Manu Nathan, 27. [JustJared]
• Clive Owen is a Liverpool football (soccer) fan, and watched a game in a NYC sports bar with other fans, only one of whom asked, "What was it like snogging Julia Roberts?" [The New Yorker]
• Amy Winehouse's father, Mitch, will join the cast of I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here. [Ireland Online]
• Kate Moss: Making music her focus? She has registered as a songwriter and publisher with the Performing Rights Society, where artists can protect any future royalties from their records. [Daily Express]
• Not that Kate Moss isn't modeling — she's totally the G in Paris Vogue. [TheLifeFiles]
• Simon Cowell is about to become the highest-paid star on TV — with his deal to bring X Factor to the U.S. (he'll producer, not appear on the show) — Cowell will make $103 million by next fall. That's more than Oprah, if you don't include her "empire" earnings. [NY Post]
• The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. has checked into rehab; ex-girlfriend Agyness Deyn was seen out with her old flame, Miles Kane, during fashion week. [Daily Mail]
• "[John Travolta's] public acknowledgement that his son, who died in January, was autistic has former Scientologists convinced that he will leave the church-which they say has little tolerance for chronic conditions." [The Daily Beast]
• Rihanna was in Venice for her manager's wedding, and naturally, she posed with and signed an autograph for an Italian monk. He looks incredibly happy. [Daily Mail]
• "Jude Law is refusing to see his newborn daughter until a DNA test proves he is the father, according to new reports." [Daily Express]
• Has Jude Law banned interviewers from asking him about his new daughter? A source says yes, and that's why he didn't talk about it on Regis & Kelly. Jude's rep says "No subjects are banned." [Page Six]
• Jamie Kennedy has reportedly been cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt with his ex-girlfriend, Shannon Funk. Funk was Britney Spears' assistant for a while. [Prz]
• Megan Fox told Nylon magazine that she thinks she's "really overexposed," which may be one of her most astute quotes ever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Andrew Shue and the Today show's Amy Robach: Engaged. [People]
• Paris Hilton drove her new pink Bentley to the launch of a jewelry line, where the organizers offered her a free diamond pendant and she "begged and begged to take the matching earrings, too." Vivica A. Fox was at the same event and refused a free diamond bracelet, saying: "I'll buy it myself from my next paycheck." [Page Six]
• Kristen Bell hearts butterscotch pudding. [People]
• 75-year-old Larry King has been interviewing celebrities since 1985; his contract with CNN is set to expire in 18 months. Should he retire, who would take his place? Ryan Seacrest, Katie Couric and Joy Behar are reported contenders. [Page Six]
• Housewife Bethenny Frankel has been "gradually cutting ties" with the other housewives "since news that she'd get her own show on Bravo broke during the summer months." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Marilyn Manson announced that he has the swine flu, his reps are denying that he is sick, which is just weird. [Gatecrasher]
• Justin Guarini was married over the weekend and the ceremony featured music by Radiohead, Paramore and Peter Gabriel — played by a string quartet. [People]
• Actress/model Angie Everhart denies that British royal Prince Andrew is the father of the baby boy she gave birth to in July. She says: "Just because I've been linked romantically with him in the past it doesn't mean I am still going to bed with him. Whether I am or not is nobody's business but ours… Kayden's daddy is someone who is not in the public eye." [Daily Express]
• This compilation of quotes from Robbie Williams is hilarious. [Guardian]
• "I never tried hard at anything. I was born smart on a very working-class estate. A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting. It's ignorant and it's a tragic waste, and I realised that the work itself is the reward. The struggle itself is the reward." — Ricky Gervais. [Guardian]
• "I knew my character was going to be pregnant the entire first season, so I figured it was a good time to have another kid." — Jenna Elfman, on being pregnant at the same time as her character in her new show Accidentally On Purpose. [USA Today]
• "The one through-line is the big accent and the in-your-face attitude. I'm definitely stereotyped and I'm very OK with that. I get super bored playing bland, normal girls." — Drea de Matteo, on playing a "tough broad" on Desperate Housewives, who sounds a lot like her Sopranos character. [Time]
• "I just passed my driving test. Took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life, I'm legal to drive, so watch out!" — Ozzy Osbourne. [MSNBC]
• "When I asked him what he envisioned, he mentioned Serge and Brigitte, Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra. So for me, I kind of saw it more as 'he said, she said' duets, as opposed to something that was just two people singing together. It's the kind of interplay between a male perspective and a female perspective, so they were a great example of that." — Scarlett Johansson on her duets with Pete Yorn. [NPR]
• "I wish a happy birthday to Sophia Loren, my splendid twin, and I ask her to stop wearing fur — that is the best gift she could offer me." — Brigitte Bardot, who, like Loren, turned 75 this week. [AFP]
• "She doesn't have a penis. She came to my house in her underwear and I saw no hint of a penis. She thought it was appropriate attire. She can get away with it. She knows what she's doing. She ain't no fool. She's brilliant. I think she's a good role model for girls. She plays with sex and makes it unsexy on purpose - so outrageous it's approachable."— Mika, on Lady Gaga. [ONTD via MTV.au]

Britney Spears wants you to know she's in shape. And, apparently, that she has the same stylist. Noted!


Jesus Christ, I hope Kristen Stewart doesn't try to sit in this skirt; it'll draw blood - and we all know what happens then...!


That's quite a dress Vanessa Hudgens is almost wearing! Well, the belt's confusing.


Zac Efron takes teen Ken to the next level! I'm blinded!


Alexis Bledel is, it's true, one of my favorite people in the world (for inexplicable reasons) but come on, this is objectively awesome, right? (Right?)


I think Emma Roberts is an unheralded burgeoning fashionista with a rare ability, at a young age, to pull off things she has no business pulling off! And always still looking demure.


Chace Crawford: getting in character for a Witness remake?


Ok, so maybe the onesie trend is in its last gasp, but Kristen Bell looks darling, huh?


Well, hello, cutie! Lucas Till is so the high school heartthrob!


This makes me wonder if Abigail Breslin is going through the obligatory Middle School Summer of Love phase.


This is not the first time I've questioned the workings of Fergie's mind. Just because you can pull something off...should you?


Don't the Jonas Brothers look like a doo-wop group? Maybe this is appropriate.


Miss J is ready for a fierce tennis tourney; which doesn't explain why the hell he's wearing it here.


Miley Cyrus is apparently not feeling the pressure to look demure; guess that storm's blown over!


Leighton Meester continues to take fashion risks - and they're paying off!


Lil Mama, in her way, never disappoints.


Jordin Sparks: blue lagoon. No, I don't know what that means.

[Images via Getty]

[Wailea, Hawaii, June 19. Image via Getty.]

[Santa Monica, CA. April 25. Image via Getty.]

The Good:
Dig Melina Kanakaredes's half-deserted pleats

Swoosie Kurtz's lbd...

And Kristen Bell's skirt like oyster-shells.

The Bad:
Kaley Cuoco's frock is like a tedious argument against sacks

Adrianne Palicki's mini was donned with insidious intent.


Of Vicki Lewis' leggings: Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"


Laurie Burrows Grad goes and makes her Oz visit.


In the room the women come and go, asking, 'why does Molly Sims' dress blow?'

[Images via Getty]

[Los Angeles, CA. January 30. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Last night the White House staff set up a scavenger hunt for Malia and Sasha so they could learn about the history of their new home, and they found a huge surprise at the end.

• When the girls opened the doors at the end of the game, all three Jonas Brothers were waiting to hang out with them. Looks like it's going to be a fun four (eight?!?!?) years for those girls. [E!]
• Ugh, Kelly Rutherford's divorce got really dirty today when her husband accused her (in court documents) of not properly wiping their son's bottom. He also says he tried to potty train their 2-year-old son Hermes, but Rutherford hid the mini-toilet seat, and said it's not "reasonable or appropriate for [Rutherford] to be breast feeding when he is nearly 2 1/2 years old." [TMZ]
• A Veronica Mars movie is in the works! Show creator Rob Thomas says his next project will be writing the script, and he has already decided that it will focus on Veronica's last few weeks of college. Kristen Bell told him she wants to do it and he's been talking to other cast members. [E!]
• Here are some Lost spoilers for the first three episodes, which we will thoughtfully not repost here. And don't forget that Tracie will be liveblogging the premiere tonight! [E!]
• How I Met Your Mother's Josh Radnor and Lipstick Jungle's Lindsay Price revealed that they are a couple last night by attending an inauguration party together. Barack is bringing people together! [E!]
• Though Matt Dillion reportedly said "I screwed up, I know, I know" when a cop stopped him for speeding in December, today he had his lawyer enter a not guilty plea for him at a hearing. [Perez Hilton]
• In their continuing campaign to squash the rumors that their marriage is in trouble, J.Lo and Marc Anthony stared into each others eyes performed a duet at the Western Ball last night in D.C. Marc Anthony said he wrote the song, "She Sang To Me," for Lopez and they kissed at the end. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer had to reschedule her 40th birthday party because they are planning to go on vacation together for Valentine's Day and will be away for her real birthday on February 11. So does this mean her actual birthday party has been rescheduled, or just the double-secret probation wedding ceremony the tabloids insist they are planning for her 40th? [Pop Sugar]
• Sorry dudes ... and ladies. Katy Perry has announced that she has taken a vow of celibacy and won't be kissing anyone. Except of course, for her cat, Kitty Purry. [Just Jared]
• Nominations for the Razzies, the Oscar spoof that "dis-honors" the year's worst movies, are out! The Love Guru is leading with seven nominations for worst picture, and worst acting from Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Verne Troyer, and Ben Kingsley. But is it worse than Paris Hilton's The Hottie and the Nottie? [USA Today]
• Michael Cera, the only major cast member who hasn't signed on to the Arrested Development movie, says the movie is "more hypothetical than people think" and he'd have to see a script before agreeing to the project. Which they can't write yet because they don't know if he'll be in the movie. We think he's making a huge mistake. [ONTD]
• There are new details about Britney's Circus tour. She rehearses seven hours a day, the stage will be in a 3-ring format, and they are testing some trick called "hide and seek" with Britney. [ONTD]
• Did Sigourney Weaver pull a Sharon Stone when she sat down with the ladies of The View this morning? There's a video, but the area in question has been covered with a star graphic. [TMZ]
• The West Wing's Bradley Whitford and Six Feet Under's Richard Jenkins have been cast in the horror film The Cabin in the Woods, which is co-written by Joss Whedon andCloverfield writer Drew Goddard. Jokes Goddard: "It's really just your basic typecasting: When you need two actors to run through the woods in low-cut nighties, you immediately think of Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Evidence that this country is still in a lot of trouble: American Idol got higher ratings than Barack and Michelle's first dance at the Neighborhood Ball last night. [Perez Hilton]
• Victoria Lucas, the 9th grader who "booty bumped" with Barack Obama at the Neighborhood Ball last night, is complimenting the President's moves. "He was just a very smooth, cool, laidback dancer. He was just like a normal person," said Lucas. "You would never think this dude earlier today was sworn in as our next president." [People]
• "There's a peace to [being married] and a sense of togetherness that we just didn't have before. And I didn't even realize it would change as much as it has, but it's so lovely." - Portia de Rossi, who has been married to Ellen DeGeneres for five months. [People]

The Good:

We get it: you're a goddess.


I cannot get over Dakota Fanning. This kid is amazing! She doesn't put a foot wrong!


It's so nice to see how chic Eva Longoria can look when she breaks out of her usual mold!


As we all know, Kristin Scott-Thomas lives in Paris and has gone totally native; it shows!


Digging Kristen Bell's easy slip.


Looks like Rosemarie DeWitt shares my weakness for 20's bohemian chic!


Elizabeth Banks' spun gold may be my favorite look of the night!


I once read that Diane Lane always does this simple shape: you can see why.


I like to think of Angela Bassett's sort of elegance as "opera singer chic!"


Penelope Cruz always makes it look so easy.


Laura Dern's got the height to rock this 60's glam.


The Bad:
What stylist talked Anne Hathaway into wearing an enormous napkin tucked into her belt?


Look, I get what Katy Perry's going for, I do. But this is verging on costume shop!


Sarah Silverman looks so uncomfortable.


Sure, Amanda Bynes looks smokin', but I'm officially over the "sexy costume" that is the bandage.


Sally Hawkins is so talented and adorable...why does she always do "wacky mom" on the red carpet?!


[Images via Getty]

The Good:


It's neat how Gabrielle Union is willing to play with a variety of shapes — yet always looks reliably chic!


Rachel Boston's frock (and this is a "frock") is awfully sweet in that Betsey sort of way.


The kind of thing, as Jessica Chastain knows, everyone should have in her wardrobe. Specifically, it should be in mine, right now.


Samaire Armstrong's looking so smooth, you could skate on her. (Not in a weird or painful way.)


It'll be so sad when this whole Mad Men phase of fashion is over. Lindsay Price looks so ladylike!


The Bad:


Let's back away slowly from Kristen Bell's monstrous separates, shall we?


See, if Cameron Richardson absolutely insists on doing the oversized blazer, she'll need to address these stockings...because the effect is kinda Tess McGill before she steals all Sigourney Weaver's clothes and Joan Cusack cuts her hair suspiciously well, the way people always rock "at-home" haircuts in movies.


Cote de Pablo's very large rose is making me very sad.


What is it that renders Krysten Ritter's ensemble so dowdy?


The Ugly:
See, maybe if Dania Ramirez added...or, maybe if she took away...no.

[Images via Getty]

Beverly Hills, December 4. Image via Filmmagic.

[Rome, June 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[On the set of "When In Rome," Italy, June 20. Image via Splash.]

Jovan White Musk: "This makes me picture the Polaner All-Fruit commercial where the country bumpkin is having breakfast with high society types and he says: "Will you please pass the jelly?", and the old lady faints." [Perfume of Life]
On another musky note: Something Stinks

This writer may be a public personality, but this sample is block printed, the variety of handwriting that tries to keep people from gathering much revealing information from it. (Cursive reveals much more.) Block printing is the choice of ransom note writers for that reason. This writer is very reluctant to allow others to know her until she knows them rather well first.

Furthermore, there are no loops on y's, an indication of a person who may seem to enjoy the company of others, but is very happy, thank you, to be all alone.

The swollen "d" forms signal a person who is acutely conscious of self, and can be wounded by destructive criticism.

Add to this an occasional slant to the left, a sign of one who represses emotions. Mostly the writing is vertical, which indicate a lack of impulsiveness. This writer thinks first, and then takes an action. The straight down-stroke of the y's indicates the determination to make an action succeed.

The bars that cross the "t" stem are placed at the top of the stem, the indication of a person who ambitiously stretches to reach a treetop tall goal. The bars are also heavy, which signals that the writer has the drive (gumption) actually to reach the treetops.

There are umbrella-shaped t bars that indicate extra portions of self-control. The block printing makes it difficult to figure out what the writer has developed controls over. The usual reason to develop such hyper-control is to stifle a recurrent fear, such as stage-fright.

The tops of the "m" forms come very close to needle-points, the sign of a very speedy thinker. Add to this a well developed "gut" intuition that skips over the usual steps of logic to get to trusted conclusions. Intuition accelerates the thinking process and allows the writer to get a handle on other people without much delay. Although some of the answers in this sample may seem dumb, the writer isn't. Some rounded "m" tops indicate that the writer can also be methodical (when absolutely necessary) and there are "V" formation in the m's and n's that signal an analytical mind that will take the time to figure out what's actually what.

Fairly strong final endings to words indicate an ability to make decisions and short t stems signal an independent thinker who makes up her own mind from information she selects.

Clean o's (the middles are without marks or blotches) are a sign of good integrity. The writer lives in the "real" world and abides by most of its rules in a way that is not secretive or devious.

There is what graphologists call a "conscious gesture" —- in this case the z's in "quizzed" are crossed. The writer has either grown up in a European-based country or has adopted the crossed-z as a kind of educated stylistic embellishment.

Earlier: Dea Cosmo Girl Hayden "Heroes" Panettiere: "Better To Be The Turtle Than The Hare"
•Cosmo Girl Rihanna: "Solitary & Self-Involved"
•Decoding Cosmo Cover Girl Katie Heigl: "She Refuses To Waste Time With Convoluted Crap"
•Cosmo Girl Hilary Duff: Intuitive, Practical And Younger Than She Looks
•Cosmo Girl Beyonce Knowles: Detail-Oriented, Thoughtful, Possibly Power-Hungry
•'Cosmo' Cover Girl Ali Larter: Self-Involved, Stubborn, Easily Distracted

The Good:
Christine Lahti looks classy in her red shift, albeit somewhat stiff.


Danica Patrick's dress is exactly what "flirty and feminine" should be.


Faye Dunaway is still rocking her Bonnie and Clyde look. But whatever: It works for her.


Fred Durst's ladyfriend has a pretty dress.


Is it weird that I would like Holland Taylor's dress? It's so old-school cool.


I'll take Maggie Grace's Audrey Hepburn-esque dress too, thanks.


What a relief to see a starlet not in a boob-flaunting dress. Thanks, Kristen Bell.


Please God let these be Lorne Michaels' daughters.


Molly Shannon's mod-styled dress and cutie-pie husband are both winners in my book.


Rachel Dratch once helped me hide when the Arctic Monkeys' publicist attempted to throw me out of a Saturday Night Live after-party. Her sweet dress is clearly a representation of her sweet-as-can-be disposition.


Tina Fey is like an old-fashioned glamor girl in this dress. (So why can't she seem to relax and enjoy it?)


The Bad:
Honestly, Amy Poehler's dress could be indeed hiding a bump.


Annabella Sciorra is bordering on caricature in the vampy dress and tousled bedroom waves.


Though I love Padma, I do not approve of her styled-by-Lauren-Conrad-esque look.


Sigourney Weaver: The elementary school art teacher you never knew you had.


The Ugly:
Dear Alice Kremelberg: Your moccasin booties sure do look comfy. But why are you wearing them outside of your house?

[Images via Getty.]