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Tense Divorce Is Causing Kim Kardashian's Fetus to Stress-Binge on Placenta, Cookie Dough

In case you forgot, Kim Kardashian is still married to Kris Humphries, and he's still dragging his feet on granting her a divorce. But now Kim's lawyers are trying a new angle to speed up the proceedings—they claim that all this protracted angst is stressing out Kim's fetus and endangering its health. Humphries needs…

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The Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Divorce Has Now Gone on 8,000 Times Longer than Their Actual Marriage

Seriously. Check the math. (DON'T CHECK THE MATH.) Unfortunately, it is also 8,000,000,000 times more boring than their actual marriage—which was, statistically, the most boring human activity in recorded memory. Anyhoo, Kim Kardashian is still trying to get the divorce finalized, but Kris Humphries refuses to…