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Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
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Heydiddler: Sabbath Lily Hawks
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
A favorite story about my mother (I slightly digress), regarded a dinner party at my school-mates' house where the hosts refused to allow the adults to dine in the dining room with their expensive oriental, reproduction rug, but herded them into to basement to eat. At this, my mother proclaimed, "I like to piss on my oriental rugs. It adds to the patina." This is, forever, my patina catchphrase.
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A Small Turnip
07/14/09

@Heydiddler: Sabbath Lily Hawks: Best anecdote ever. Your mother sounds like one hell of an entertaining dinner guest. I adore her already.
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femaledwightschrute
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
Ms. Westwood's recommendations will fit well with my Disney Princess lifestyle. My little forest animal friends can sew up my tablecloth+curtain+boxer shorts combo, while my fairy godmother can do the magical sparklification of my clothes once they get dirty with "patina".
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alwaysapropos
07/14/09

@femaledwightschrute: I used to have the rodents take care of it, but then my cat killed them all.

Luckily, I've found a musically gifted Austrian ex-nun, and she does a better job anyway.
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Lady Skittlehattington
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
Eu de freshly mown grass, new parchment, and Ronald Weasley. I'd wear it.
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alwaysapropos
07/14/09

@Lady Skittlehattington: Except that Ronald Weasley smells like Quidditch, spider repellent, and thousand-year-old robes =/
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la.donna.pietra
07/14/09

@alwaysapropos: And Aunt Tessie.
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girlwonder
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
Things I have learned from the source articles for these items: Karolina Kurkova is "famous for her missing navel" and Lara Stone is "known for her breasts." I'm half-amused, half-creeped out by this info.
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eadubbs
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
Vera Neumann's prints might be a bit to bold for me, but I love the idea of making a print everyday sounds lovely.

I shake my fist at Anthropologie, for being so expensive and slightly evil, but just so so pretty
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BlondeGoddess
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
Dirt is patina.

So what is stench? A kind of really wonderful perfume? With your own name on it?

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badmutha
07/14/09

@BlondeGoddess: Exactly. And while I love Westwood and all that she stands for, I believe she has finally lost it.
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bitingfairy
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
Great. Where else am I suppose to get a perfume that smells like freshly mown grass, new parchment and Ron Weasly.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/14/09

@bitingfairy needs a job: I was going to suggest the internet, but that would probably include the stench of fangirl sweat and nobody wants that.
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linnyt is a walking cliché
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
why would anyone bother to fake old navy clothes? aren't jeans like $20 there anyway?
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PrairieGirl
07/14/09

@linnyt is a walking cliché: Yeah, but my counterfit Old Navy jeans only cost $19.

Knocking off Old Navy would be like counterfitting one dollar bills. Hardly worth it.
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bangers
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
i first read the title as "emma says her idea for namesake scent inspired by vomit"

eau de tequila, perhaps?
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BlondeGoddess
07/14/09

@bangers: Eau de Chardonnay.
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LooseBaggyMonster
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
Oh no! The effrontery of labeling Lara Stone a US 6. Libel, surely.

(I understand the UK conversion is wrong but...who cares?)
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/14/09

@LooseBaggyMonster: Did you know that the sizes in the UK are different than in America?
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BlondeGoddess
07/14/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: Not to mention sizing in the fifties.
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badmutha
07/14/09

@BlondeGoddess: MARILYN MONROE
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TatianaTheAnonymousModel
07/14/09

@LooseBaggyMonster: It's false information -- something demonstrably, patently incorrect, which nonetheless got published. If I'm not mistaken, that used to be considered a self-evidently bad thing. Perhaps before, as you say, we stopped caring.
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BlondeGoddess
07/14/09

@badmutha: She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
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LooseBaggyMonster
07/14/09

@TatianaTheAnonymousModel: Forgive my sarcasm, Tatiana. The thing is, as has been discussed rather, ahem, extensively on this site, I'm not sure clothing sizes have any sort of inherent, hard-and-fast truth to them, so I fail to see the need for vigilance against their misrepresentation. Hence all of the outrage against "vanity sizing" flattering the apparently outsized vanities of average, i.e., rotund, women.
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spamanda
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
How the heck DO they "design a fragrance"? I mean, I highly doubt the celebrities are acting like chemists... so how does THAT work? Do a bunch of poor lackeys have to make some different scents, and then the celeb just picks one? Inquiring minds* want to know!

*Well, mine anyways.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/14/09

@spamanda: I picture it like that one episode of Dirty Jobs where they let Mike design his own soap. "Sandalwood? Ohhh gotta have the sandalwood...Birch! That's a manly smell! Buck Naked? That's going in there!"
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spamanda
07/14/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: HA! I love that episode. Mostly because I like the irony of making soap being a "dirty job."
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wtfox?!
07/14/09

@spamanda: I hope that it's not like Patrick Süskind's Perfume. Eeep.
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A Small Turnip
07/14/09

@spamanda: It depends on the person. If you have even a passing interest in the scent-making process, I enthusiastically recommend a book called The Perfect Scent by New York Times journalist Chandler Burr. It's hugely enjoyable and very readable, even for the layperson.

In it, he contrasts the involvement in the process of Paris Hilton, who contractually has virtually no say in what her perfumes smell like, and Sarah Jessica Parker, who most definitely does. In fact, after reading his account, I went from being entirely ambivalent about SJP to being decidedly impressed by her dedication. She did masses and masses of scent research, came to the brainstorming table at every stage with lots of specific and interesting ideas, and made a concerted effort to produce a scent that hadn't been done a thousand times before. As I say, it's a really fascinating read.
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Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni!
07/14/09

@A Small Turnip: I love reading Burr's articles and reviews. Isn't "Covet" based on SJP's own concoction of existing perfumes?
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Edited by Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni! at 07/14/09 11:53 AM

missteenwordpower
07/14/09

@spamanda: I always imagine some actual chemist sitting down with a celebrity and saying, "what are some smells you like?" Although, if that's the case, where's my Eau de Pie?
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Flackette Goes Retro
07/14/09

@spamanda: Actually, that's exactly how it works. They make up a few and the celeb picks one, or asks them to add more of a certain scent or whatever. Some celebs are more involved than others. I understand that SJP has a pretty good amount of input into hers, but others just lend their name. Any that are not used for that perfume will be kept around for the next client to see if they like them. The same company may produce perfumes ranging from drugstore colognes to $100 an ounce department store designer stuff. The only real difference is which client they are being licensed to. The book "Deluxe" explains the entire process and is really pretty fascinating.
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A Small Turnip
07/14/09

@Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni!: I think that's Lovely - an approximation of her favourite combo of cheap drugstore musk, some strange spicy perfume oil she bought on the street in Manhattan, and a high-end men's cologne. Apparently it smelled deliciously sweaty and sexy and they had to tone down the sex quite a bit to make it marketable. All those musky indoles!

And aren't Burr's articles great? It also doesn't hurt that he's a bit of a dish. Smart, funny, urbane, good looking and, depressingly, gay. See video for yummy evidence.
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BlondeGoddess
07/14/09

@Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni!: I think that's her first one, Lovely.
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BlondeGoddess
07/14/09

@A Small Turnip: And @Fridge Hussy: Thanks for introducing me to him! Love good perfume writers.
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snugbug
07/14/09

@A Small Turnip: Sorry of an almost-thread jack, but I would really like to pass on a recommendation:

Perfumes: The Guide, by Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez is possibly the best and most entertaining book I’ve ever had the pleasure to read on this subject. They teach you how to pick a perfume, and explain the chemistry of mixing oils and alcohol to create a fragrance, etc. That’d be sufficient to render it a fantastic read. BUT! They also review 1,500+ fragrances, both retired and current ones, on a one-to-five star scale. They are hysterically witty, and for a perfume aficionado like me, simply essential.

Here’s a sampling (I keep this book nearby, just in case I need some emergency giggles..)

"Marc Jacobs for Men": "Sad fig." (One star)

"212 by Carolina Herrera": "Like getting lemon juice in a paper cut." (One star)

"Princess by Vera Wang: "Stupid name, pink perfume, heart-shaped bottle, little crown on top. I half expected it to be really great just to spite me. But no, it’s probably the most repulsively cloying thing on the market today." (One star)

"Trésor by Lancôme": "I once sat in the London Tube across a young woman wearing a t-shirt printed with headline-size words ALL THIS across her large breasts, and in small type underneath "and brains too." That vulgar-but-wily combination seems to me to sum up Trésor. Up close, when you can read the small print, Trésor is a superbly clever accord between powdery rose and vetiver, reminiscent of the structure of Habanita. From a distance, it’s the trashiest, most good-humored pink mohair sweater and bleached hair thing imaginable. When you manage to appeal to both the reptilian brain and the neocortex of menfolk, what happens is what befell Trésor: a huge success." (Five stars)

PS: They also gave five stars to my favorite perfume of all times—"Lily / Leaf Series" by Comme des Garçons, so that made me feel validated in my taste.. =)

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spamanda
07/14/09

@missteenwordpower: Oooh, can I get Eau de Thanksgiving Dinner?
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Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni!
07/14/09

@A Small Turnip: Thank you for this!
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Dictator for Life
07/14/09

@A Small Turnip: I actually emailed him with a perfume question (I wanted to find a perfume similar to JPG's Fragile that is available in America), and he responded! It was an awesome brush with fame!
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A Small Turnip
07/14/09

@BlondeGoddess: @Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni!: My pleasure! I love me some Chandler Burr.
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A Small Turnip
07/14/09

@Dictator for Life: Holy shit! I'm seethingly jealous! That's really lovely of him to respond, isn't it? And now my crush has gone stratospheric.

I bet he smells good, too. Shit, I got it bad.
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A Small Turnip
07/14/09

@snugbug: Oh my god, that Vera Wang review is priceless. Amazon, here I come.
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Skinny lips, killer lashes
07/14/09

@missteenwordpower: What kind of pie? I have a body lotion that smells of apples and cinnamon, and used to have a solid perfume that smelled of lemon pie!
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Neopatra
07/14/09

@snugbug: I have that book, and let me say politely that their tastes do not coincide with mine. They pan Tabac Blonde and other classics, and I bought at least one fragrance they rated at 5 stars which smelled so bad it made me physically ill. To be fair, fragrance is highly subjective.
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snugbug
07/14/09

@Neopatra: Oh totally. They slam Nina Ricci's "L'Air du Temps," which has been my mom's perfume since forever, and which I unabashedly adore. They also give meh marks to Kilian perfumes, which I consider to be some of the most revolutionary/inventive fragrances of the past coupla years, and trust me, I keep up with this crap.. I was just saying I love their clever writing--how they use simile and comparisons from other fields to better explain the experience of a perfume..
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
Now I'm trying to figure what I'd make my signature scent smell like were I famous. I'm leaning towards apricot, ginger, and vanilla. Maybe with a hint of citrus.
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elliebean
07/14/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: ...my boyfriend says I taste like corn, so. I might pass on that particular venture.
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wtfox?!
07/14/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: My signature scent is Eau de Grad Student. Dust predominates with undertones of frustration and procrastination right out of the bottle, finishing with panic and delicate hints of ramen and Little Caesars' $5 large pizza after it's been microwaved as a midnight snack.
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ucelluccia
07/14/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: I'm a big citrus or sandalwood person myself, not so much on the floral. Half of the time I use the husband's cologne.
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Tartan_Tart
07/14/09

In reply to Emma Says The Idea Of Namesake Scent Makes Her "Vomit"; Vivienne Proclaims "Dirt Is Patina"
I agree with Emma...because like it's really the celebrities designing the scents anyway.
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