#tweetbeat

Nicole Richie Loves A Fart Joke

#dirtbagafterdark

Charlie Sheen's Car Stolen & Crashed; Is Anderson Cooper Adopting A Haitian Baby?

• This morning Charlie Sheen reported that his SUV, which he left in his open garage with the keys in the ignition, had been stolen. Later it was found totaled at the bottom of a ravine.

#dirtbagafterdark

Lindsay Claims She's A Hoarder; Gabourey Asks Justin To The Oscars

• In an exclusive interview with The Insider that airs tomorrow, Lindsay Lohan discusses her issues with her father and takes Niecy Nash on a tour of her messy house, revealing that she thinks she's a hoarder.

#dirtbagafterdark

Posh: I'm The Same Size As J.Lo; Real Housewives Star In Car Accident

• Victoria Beckham says the dresses in her fashion line are, "For women of all different shapes and sizes. Actually, the one I tried on yesterday was the one Jennifer [Lopez] wore..."

#dirtbagafterdark

Obama Keeps Up With The Kardashians; Wife Says Hopper Threatened To Kill Her

• In what TMZ is billing as the "Decline of Western Civilization," Khloe Kardashian toured the White House and met President Obama today.

#ragtrade

Kim Kardashian To Take Manhattan; Models Still Thin

• Kim Kardashian isn't just coming to the tents to show her Bebe line — she'll join Felicity Huffman and Estelle, among other celebrities, in a fashion show to raise awareness of heart disease. [WWD]

#dirtbagafterdark

Spencer: "I'm Her Husband, Not Her Owner"; Judge Rules Polanski Must Return To U.S.

• Spencer Pratt says he didn't question Heidi Montag's decision to have 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day because, "I'm not in charge of what she does with any part of her body. I'm her husband – not her owner."

#ragtrade

Scarlett Returns As Face Of Mango; Kim Kardashian Showing At Fashion Week

• Baleful, photogenic robot Scarlett Johanson paused in her daily quest to EXTERMINATE long enough for Mario Sorrenti to take her picture for this Spanish fashion label called Mango. [Nitrolicious]
• And Tilda Swinton posed for the spring Pringle campaign. [DesignScene]

#snapjudgment

Good Lip Lollipop

[Los Angeles, January 19. Image via Pacific Coast News]

#dirtbagafterdark

Conan & NBC Fight For Custody Of Triumph; Katie Calls Suri "Magical"

• Conan O'Brien and NBC are still negotiating the terms of Conan's exit from The Tonight Show. One of major points of contention: Who gets custody of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Pimpbot 5000, and the Masturbating Bear.

#dirtbagafterdark

Heidi's Plastic Surgeon Sued For Malpractice; Fugees Reuniting To Benefit Haiti?

• Two women sued Dr. Frank Ryan, the plastic surgeon who performed 10 surgeries on Heidi Montag in one day, for malpractice. One underwent multiple procedures at once like Heidi, and both claim he didn't explain the risks before surgery.

#snapjudgment

One Step At A Time

[Miami, January 14. Image via Splash.]

#snapjudgment

Flying Colors

[Miami, January 14. Image via Flynet.]

#dirtbagafterdark

Kidnapping At Heidi & Spencer's?; Jennifer Love Hewitt Bedazzles Her Vagina

• Police were called to investigate a "possible kidnapping" and Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's house this afternoon. As a helicopter patrolled overhead, armed police swarmed the house and yelled, "Man in the black shirt. Come out of the house."

#adlibs

5 Odd Things About Kim Kardashian's Perfume Commercial

#dirtbagafterdark

Simon Leaves American Idol; Brad & Angie Skip Golden Globes, Jen Showdown

• Simon Cowell confirmed today that he's leaving American Idol at the end of this season. He'll be launching the U.S. version of The X Factor and sources say he's convinced a familiar face to join him on the judges' panel.

#doggiestyle

Kim Kardashian Has A Bitch Problem