"As she sits drinking lavender lemonade,*" Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair that everyone—including, and especially, other ladies in Hollywood—needs to shut the fuck up about how many penises are/may be in orbit around her:

Two weeks ago, The Onion published a satirical article declaring North Korean despot and king of the butt-shaped haircut Kim Jong Un the "Sexiest Man Alive." And yesterday, a Chinese state newspaper reprinted the piece in its entirety, completely without sarcasm, along with a 55-image slide show of Kim Jong Un posing on…

• Iran's Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, has decided the best way to lead the country while thousands of people are protesting the fraudulent elections is to tell them to shut up, accept the results or risk a violent crackdown. [MSNBC]

• Dick Cheney thinks: The Gays should be happy with whatever states choose not to discriminate against them; Americans should be glad George Tenet didn't have worse intel about the link between Saddam and Osama; and the Guantanamo detainees should be happy we didn't summarily execute them. [Time, CNN, MSNBC]