• A source claims that Lindsay Lohan "stormed out of" Brittany Gastineau's birthday party in tears after her ex-girlfriend, Courtenay Semel confronted her at the party and tried to talk her into going to rehab. [PageSix]

• "Everyone was trying to keep [Lohan and Semel] apart, especially since Courtenay is recently out of rehab and has pleaded with Lindsay to do the same," says a source, "Everything was fine for a while, and Lindsay seemed happy, but then there was a confrontation when she came out of the bathroom, and she ran out in tears. Everyone fears she's on some kind of self-destructive collision course." [PageSix]
• Meanwhile, Lindsay also reportedly has a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. "Lindsay has a major crush on Leo but that's as far as it goes right now. She knows him, they are friends but that's it. Lindsay is ready to be more then friends with Leo but he doesn't see her that way." [ShowbizSpy]
• According to Ian Halperin, author of Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie , it was Angelina Jolie who came up with the storyline that Jennifer Aniston put her career ahead of having a family with Brad Pitt, as she "was convinced that this is the story that would resonate with all these women who saw her as a man-stealing bitch." [USWeekly]
• Katie Holmes looks very tired and like she wants you to get out of her way when she goes out to get coffee. Celebrities! And so on and so forth. [DailyMail]
• Daniel Radcliffe's rep claims that Harry Potter doesn't smoke pot, regardless of what the tabloids are saying: "Daniel does smoke the occasional roll-up cigarette, but he was not doing anything more than this." 420 points from Gryffindor! [PageSix]
• Kevin Spacey says that living in London has given him "a whole new perspective, not only on America, but on the world itself." He also says he's "starting to dress a little more formally, too, wearing British designer suits - which would have made my mother very proud." [DailyMail]
• Leona Lewis has turned down a $1 million offer to pose for Playboy. [TheSun]
• Liam Gallagher says that the remaining members of Oasis will carry on as a new band after Noel Gallagher's departure. "We're sort of doing things at the moment," he says, "Not Oasis, Oasis is done. Everyone except for Noel." [Reuters]
• Alanis Morrissette says she struggled with anorexia and bulimia as a teenager, and that being in recovery has helped her strengthen several aspects of her life: ""I'm really clear about what my life mission is now. There's no more depression or lethargy, and I feel like I've returned to the athlete I once was. I'm integrating all the parts of me — jock, musician, writer, poet, philosopher — and becoming stronger as a result." [CNN]
• Leading porn company Vivid Entertainment has "legally obtained" a copy of Carrie Prejean's "solo sex tape" and wants her to sign off before they distribute it. Yeah, right. She is so not doing this. Though in fairness, I Am Doing This would probably make a good title for the tape, no? [TMZ]
• Emmy Rossum was not amused when a DJ tried to compare her relationship with Adam Duritz to that of Rose McGowan and Marilyn Manson. [DailyExpress]
• "I used to repeat with many of the actors and actresses I've worked with, because it's a like an investment. If you find someone that you understand very well and they get you, it saves time and it also gives you more security. [With Penélope], I'm willing to push her as far as possible. I know her versatility, and am interested by the idea of working with her in 10 years when she's 45 and it's an entirely different character."-Pedro Almodovar, on working with Penelope Cruz. [WSJ]
• Joey Lawrence and his wife are expecting their second daughter in April. If you feel the need to celebrate, I suggest watching this. [People]
• Oprah apologized to Robin Givens on her show yesterday for a show she'd taped with Mike Tyson, wherein Oprah's audience laughed after Tyson noted he wanted to "sock" Givens after an interview she gave Barbara Walters about their abusive relationship. "I would say to you and every woman, who has ever been hit, I feel that I did not handle that as well as I should have and I feel that I could have gone further and should have said more to clarify that what he was doing and what he was saying was wrong," Oprah said, "So I apologize to you and I apologize to every woman who has ever been in that situation." [DailyExpress]
• Kiefer Sutherland would like you to know that he has not reconciled with his ex-wife, Kelly Winn, though they have "have remained good friends since they separated in 1999." 
[People]
• A source claims that Alex Rodriguezis thinking of proposing to Kate Hudson: "He's been talking about proposing quite a bit lately. He wants to think of a creative and cute way to pop the question." [ShowbizSpy]
• The man accused of trying to extort money from Cindy Crawford and her husband, Rande Gerber by threatening to publish a "provocative photo" of the couple's daughter is also being accused of repeatedly beating and raping his ex-wife. [NYDN]
• Stephenie Meyer says that Robert Pattinson resembles the Edward Cullen she always imagined: "There's something unusual. There are moments where he looks exactly like he did in my head." [E!]
• "If I could choose any role other than mine I would not mind playing Bella. That girl is facing some issues and it would be fun to get inside her mind for a day."-Taylor Lautner [ShowbizSpy]
• "I just want to say though, that if people have a problem with designers or magazines using too thin models, they should just stop buying the designers' clothes or the magazines. Don't buy them and then complain about it and feel bad about yourself! Use your power. Magazines will change if no one's buying them, believe me."-Cindy Crawford [TimesOnline]
• "Everyone in my family knows that I try to eat healthy and I'm trying to cut back on sugar. So I look at the dessert table at my mother's house and quietly grumble. But then, sure enough, there's always the one thing that is the kryptonite of my dessert life. So I shove the spoon in and eat the chocolate-pudding cake. Mom wins, and the whole crowd has a good laugh."-Alec Baldwin, Team Cake. [Parade]

• Cameron Diaz was out with Jude Law on Sunday night in London, but last week she was out in London with Leonardo DiCaprio. This paper calls it an "A-list love triangle."

But! Since Cammie worked with Jude in The Holiday and with Leo in Gangs Of New York, we're going with: Hanging with old friends. [The Sun]

• Julie Andrews was asked who she'd choose to play Maria in a remake of The Sound Of Music, and she said Cameron Diaz. Cammie D, who worked with Andrews on Shrek, says: "Julie is amazing and I don't know if I could follow an act like that." Agreed! No offense. [Daily Express]
• Kiefer Sutherland had a very public makeout session in a NYC park over the weekend. Spills a source: "One young mom breast-feeding her baby nearby was like, 'Go Kiefer!'" [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan speaks! Of Lindsay she says: "She's a genius. Such a good heart. Lindsay will direct one day. She loves directing." But then goes on to say: "You know what, I taught my children to love. And if you fall in love, life is about that. Family, it's not about work. You want goals…We're all looking for love and someone to be with; someone to share that with. My parents have been married for 50 years, we see that and that is important. It's work, but you want to separate it, go home and have a family. [Work] is not going to be forever." Wait, so: Life is not about work, it's about love, which takes work. And. Small children should work at an early age. Got it. [OK Magazine]
• A French newspaper claims that Madonna has "declined" to be interviewed by investigators in relation to the stadium collapse in Marseilles which killed two people. [The Sun]
• Jessica Simpson's family is worried about her; she's been staying in and watching chick flicks and feeling a little depressed. But damn. She got dumped on the eve of her birthday. She needs to cry it out. A source says: "The family used to have such faith in [Jessica] and they worried about Ashlee. Now they are fully confident in Ashlee's choices and they worry most of their days about Jessica. It seems she just can't catch a break." [People]
• Grace Rwaramba - the Rwandan nanny "Jackson insiders describe as the most maternal personality" Michael Jackson's kids have known — is coming back to be with the children. (She was fired in 2008.) She was introduced to MJ by Deepak Chopra; Chopra says "She is totally dedicated to the children and will do whatever it takes to make the children happy." [Time]
• "Neighbors of Neverland are organizing against any move to turn Michael Jackson's former home into a tourist destination that could disturb the area's rural tranquility." [AP]
• "Three months before his death, Michael Jackson committed to co-directing and financing a movie — a poignant drama about foster children — and planned to get started as soon as he completed his London concerts." [Reuters]
• The latest issue of Rolling Stone has a cover story titled "The Last Days of Michael Jackson," written by Claire Hoffman. She says, in a video at the link, that everyone she spoke with said the same thing: He was pumped about the O2 concerts and really wanted the experience to be the greatest show on earth. It's the comeback that never was. [Rolling Stone]
• Joe Jackson is planning a big 80th birthday bash in Tinley Park, outside of Chicago. It's scheduled for August 22. By the by, Michael Jackson's birthday is August 29. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Katherine Jackson doesn't want to challenge the will, but she does want "a seat at the table." [TMZ]
• Click the link and look at the gentleman whose face is circled in red. Six words: MICHAEL JACKSON'S SECRET NORWEGIAN LOVE CHILD. [Mirror]
• Debbie Rowe has a "stash" of pictures of her kids in her closet. She told a friend: "'I can't leave them out. When people come in to my home they steal these photographs." Naturally, since this paper is so classy, it's calling the collection a "shrine." [The Sun]
• Mischa Barton's rep says the actress is "still seeking treatment but making improvements." [ET]
• According to this report, Mischa Barton was struggling with body issues. A source says: "She has big self-esteem issues. She hates her legs. She isn't comfortable with her body. It's been a big source of stress and self-hate." Another source claims: "She had a big problem with those photos of her cellulite." Although a friend says "She was more pissed off than hurt… I never saw her diet." [People]
• Mischa Barton's rep says her intentions are being able to resume production on The Beautiful Life next week. [E!]
• After Public Enemies, Alice In Wonderland, and The Rum Diary, Johnny Depp has a no concrete projects coming up; the next Pirates flick has been delayed and everything else is iffy. [Hollywood Reporter, Reuters]
• Billy Joel is dating former The Young And The Restless star Alex Donnelley. I'll admit, out of curiosity, I checked to see if she was as young as his third wife, Katie Lee (27). But Donnelley is 50. If you care. [Page Six]
• Ugly Betty spoiler: Jamie-Lynn Sigler is joining the cast as Daniel's new assistant. [EW]
• Oh, yay: More waxing, more grandmas on stripper poles. Kendra has been picked up for a second season. Will we see the pin-up as a new mommy? [Variety]
• Jennifer Lopez's husband Marc Anthony has inked a deal with the Miami Dolphins, making him a partial owner. [Gatecrasher]
• Q: Who is your mortal enemy?
  A: Myself … but we're starting to make nice.
  Q: When's the last time you drove a car?
  A: Some things are better left undisclosed.
  Q: How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
  A: I'll never sleep with Bernie Madoff again. — From a Q&A with Natasha Lyonne. [NY Magazine]
• "Katie Price reveals her plans for life after Pete: Acting lessons, more Botox and a new tattoo." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which allegedly bisexual hotel heir is getting it on with an N.Y.-based male reality TV star?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I hadn't taken the subway in more than 20 years because I used to spend two hours each way on it every day going to school and back and did everything on it — slept, ate, homework — and I swore as soon as I had two pennies to rub together, I would never ride it again and I didn't — until [Taking Of Pelham 1-2-3] of course. I grew up in New York and subways were the way to get around so I spent many many hours on subways as a kid." — Denzel Washington hates the subway, okay? [Mirror]
• "I have wrinkles [on my forehead], which are very evident. I will particularly say when I look at movie posters: 'You guys have airbrushed my forehead. Please can you change it back?' I'd rather be the woman they're saying 'She's looking older' than 'She's looking stoned.'" — Kate Winslet. (And be sure to click the link to compare and contrast an untouched paparazzi photo of her with a Lancôme campaign photo.) [Daily Mail]

• Hailey Glassman says her love affair with Jon Gosselin is filled with laughter, home cooked dinners and romantic games of ping pong, but, "If you had told me a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed you."

• Glassman explains that she developed feelings for Jon, a family friend, when he visited her parent's home to mulll over the end of his marriage. "He was so strong," Glassman says. "I admired him." When asked what she thinks he likes most about her, she said: "I'm a huge believer in not controlling someone. I'll give my opinion but tell him to do what he wants to do. He said, 'I'm just not used to having an option.' I told him life is about options." [People]
• Kendra Wilkinson says she and husband Hank Baskett have learned an important lesson from Jon And Kate Plus 8. "I feel bad for the kids. If we do have a show, none of that's going to happen...I want to be able to spend quality time with my child and not really give the world too much," says Kendra. [E!]
• Kiefer Sutherland won't be charged for headbutting Jack McCollough in May. The Manhattan D.A. rejected the case because officials decided the incident was too petty to be called criminal conduct. The L.A. City Attorney won't be charging Kiefer for violating his probation from a previous DUI conviction either. [TMZ]
• Stephen Baldwin filed for bankruptcy today. According to court documents he's millions of dollars in debt. [Yahoo]
• A fight broke out during Chace Crawford's birthday outing on Saturday night. His friends started pushing and shoving photographers to get them to stop taking pictures of him in the VIP section and Chace fled his own party to avoid getting caught in the scuffle. [The Daily Express]
• Jackson Browne has settled a lawsuit and received an apology from Senator John McCain and the Republican Party for using his song "Running On Empty" during the presidential campaign. The GOP also pledged not to use any musician's work without permission from now on. [AP]
• More people are coming forward with tales of Mischa Barton's drug use. In a lengthy tale about one drug fueled night in London last year, a source reports, "She told us that she hated Kimberley [Stewart] and Paris Hilton because they had made fun of her after her DUI arrest but that Naomi Campbell had phoned her to offer some support. After some time she went into her purse and took out a bag of marijuana - when she put her purse down I could see traces of white powder inside it... Mischa was a sweet person but she is really foolish as both her drug and alcohol consumption was very open. She didn't seem to be able to control herself and I'm not surprised that it has snow-balled and that she is now in hospital. In my opinion she is going to need a lot of help to fully recover from what I saw that night in London." [Radar Online]
• Jackass star Bam Margera says he wasn't taken to the hospital for a drug overdose, but because he was on a four day drinking binge which he blamed on marital problems. "I may get a divorce ... booze helps," he said. [TMZ]
• In a new interview Ryan O'Neal said of Farrah Fawcett, "She never closed her eyes; her eyes were open for the last three weeks of her life... She was watching us. She didn't speak much, but she watched us. And then, finally, she closed her eyes." [MSNBC]
• The rumors that Jamie Kennedy proposed to Jennifer Love Hewitt last weekend aren't true but according to Jamie, she told him "By this time next year if we're not planning something, then there's a situation." [People]
• Check out these adorable photos of Emma Thompson and her adopted son Tindyebwa Agabe. Six years ago she and her husband adopted Agabe, a former Rwandan child soldier, at the age of 16. Today he graduated from Exeter University with a degree in politics. [The Daily Mail]
• In her first interview since her break down, Susan Boyle said of her rise to stardom, "The impact, like a demolition ball. Anyone who has that kind of impact finds it really hard to get a head around it... I guess I had to get my head around it, but through the guidance of a great team, and they are very good, I was able to see that in perspective and really turn that around a little." [The Sun]
• Susan Boyle will pose for a photoshoot that will appear in the September issue of Harper's Bazaar. [The Mirror]
• Marc Anthony has become a partial owner of the Miami Dophins. "I'm a huge sports fan," he said. "These opportunities don't come around too often. It's quite an honor and a privilege to be able to sit here today saying that I'm a part-owner of an NFL team." Now he and Jennifer Lopez are looking for a home in Miami. [People]
• Kelis skipped today's scheduled court date with estranged husband Nas... because she's in labor. Nas' lawyer says he's in New York for the birth of his baby and is "rushing to the hospital to be with her." [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's friend Marc Schaffel says, "At the end of the day, Debbie just wants what's best for the children... Her interest is that the children are going to be taken care of." [People]
• David Duchovney and Tea Leoni are looking less and less estranged these days. They spent Father's Day together with their kids, and David took Tea to the wrap party for Californication this weekend. [People]
• Alicia Silverstone will return to Broadway to reprise her role in Time Stands Still, a play about a photojournalist (who will be played by Laura Linney) recovering from and injury in the Iraq War. [The N.Y. Times]
• Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Leona Lewis, and Miley Cyrus will headline the VH1 Divas Live concert on September 17. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer's Body will premiere at the Toronto Film Festival's Midnight Madness program on September 10th. [Variety]
• Harrison Ford will be the guest of honor at the France's Deauville American Film Festival in September. [Variety]
• January Jones is on the cover of Interview's August issue. She says of her Mad Men character Betty Draper, "She is cracked, which is why I love her... I come from a family of very outspoken women. I can't imagine living in a time when you couldn't express what you felt... That's why Betty does what she does. She's imploding to the point where she gets so frustrated that she does something wacky." [People]
• Katherine Heigl says her first day back on the Grey's Anatomy set wasn't that great, explaining, "It was — I'm going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them - a 17-hour day, which I think is cruel and mean." She added, "It was actually kind of really great to be back. All my friends are there and at this point, they're sort of like family, but it was a little weird because [T.R. Knight]'s not there anymore." [People]
• Last week Entourage featured an outdated Knocked Up joke about how Katherine Heigl would never go out with Seth Rogen in real life. Rogen responded: "Yeah, those guys are assholes. I actually ran into Matt … Kevin Dillon in a Starbucks. And he's like 'You know, I've got to kind of apologize because apparently the guy who created our show doesn't like you so much.' And I said 'Well, I have reason to believe because I think [showrunner] Doug Ellin is a moron from all I can understand so it makes sense he doesn't like me.' And I've kind of said some disparaging things about the show. Although in our defense, [producer] Mark Wahlberg called us misogynistic in an interview, so I think they kind of started that … It's on. Luckily I never have and never plan on watching Entourage." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "It is very disheartening that there are so many older men that prey on young performers. The younger you are, the more innocent you are, the more wholesome your image is, the weirder the fans become in terms of older men wanting to corrupt little girls. Even the way the paparazzi stalk the younger artists is very different from following around adults - I find that very disturbing." — Debbie Gibson [The Daily Express]

• "We're very much in love. Especially her. We're actually going to tie the knot next Tuesday." — Gerard Butler, joking with Conan O'Brien about the Jennier Aniston rumors. He continued:

"And then on Saturday, I'm marrying Cameron Diaz. Joan Rivers will be the next weekend." [Daily Mail]

• Will Angelina and Brad try to save their "troubled" relationship by making a sequel to Mr. & Mrs. Smith? "This time around the Smiths will have children, and the kids' antics will be part of the story line," says an insider. "[Brad] is hoping they'll fall in love all over again." Consider the source on this, mmkay? [National Enquirer]
• Even though Britney Spears is supposedly dating her agent, Jason Trawick, she's recently spend a lot of time alone with producer Dallas Austin. [Page Six]
• Kiefer Sutherland's headbutt-related court appearance: Postponed. [Mirror]
• After a deadly stage collapse, Madonna's concert in Marseille, France, has been canceled. [Mirror]
• One stage worker was killed yesterday when the roof fell apart at the Velodrome Stadium in Marseilles where Madonna's concert was supposed to take place; another worker passed away today from injuries suffered during the accident. [ET]
• Lady GaGa has been dumped by gentleman friend Speedy after a photo of Ms. GaGa snuggling up to another man made it in to The Sun. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil: Officially divorced. [The Sun]
• So you know how Bethenny Frankel is getting her own show on Bravo, Skinny & The City? Turns out there's already a website called skinnyandthecity.com, and the founder, Tanya Zuckerbrot, is in talks with attorneys. Obviously. [Gatecrasher]
• Robert Pattinson and some buddies drank and ate a whole bunch at a restaurant in New York, and then only tipped $50, which was under 15%. But, the waitress says, they were "very nice and friendly." Work that magic, sparkle vamp! [E!]
• Mischa Barton, who was placed on psychiatric hold at an L.A. hospital last night, is "dealing with a lot of personal issues," says a source. [People]
• Mischa Barton was supposed to take part in a WWD photoshoot for her new show, The Beautiful Life, yesterday. Executive producer Karey Burke told the paper: "She is sick. She has to get well so that she can be healthy in order to start actual production next week." [WWD]
• Here we go, you knew this was coming: "Drugs, alcohol and out-of-control partying have been a central part of rehab-graduate Mischa Barton's life for at least two years." And a source says she went to a Cold War Kids show in February and "She tried to hook up with the lead singer but was turned down and ended up coming on to the drummer. She was a mess." [RadarOnline]
• "Judd Apatow's new movie, Funny People, is a two-hour-and-20-minute film about a comedian with a deadly illness. It was shot by the cinematographer who did Schindler's List.… [The movie] is a risky departure from the comedic formula that Mr. Apatow first employed in 2005 with The 40-Year-Old Virgin and refined with 2007's summer hit Knocked Up." [WSJ]
• Jack McBrayer, who plays Kenneth The Page on 30 Rock, got his very first Emmy nomination! He says his character's relationship with Alec Baldwin's character Jack Donaghy is key: "I could not be more honored to work with him. I swear to God. [Laughs.] First season we were all scared to death of him." [E!]
• Behold: A book containing a collection of images and poems; "trees and the memory of trees, ghosts, words, nights, days, lives, deaths, and safe haven for them all…" "If you daren't enter the forest, or cannot find it, then perhaps you might find one tree, or a place where a tree could be, and just stop for a quiet moment to see what happens." The book's author? Viggo Mortensen. [Perceval Press]
• Orlando Bloom was back in L.A. yesterday to check on his home, which was broken into earlier this week. When pestered on video, he says, "Worse things have happened, it's really not a story." [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe is suing a woman for allegedly fueling reports that Rowe is willing to surrender her custody rights over her two children with Michael Jackson for millions of dollars. [ET, TMZ]
• Pepsi responds to the recently released footage of Michael Jackson being burned while filming a Pepsi commercial: "We don't know how the footage became available. Twenty-five years later, we'd question why anyone would want to share such frightening images," says Pepsi spokeswoman Nicole Bradley. [Rolling Stone]
• A fire captain who was at the Pepsi commercial filming blames the director, whom he overheard tell Michael: "Stand [under the sparks] longer, you'll look more majestic." [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson is finally grieving: "She's been crying a lot. Her eyes are constantly red. She can't believe Michael is gone." [People]
• The LAPD has already been treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide; now the probe is being called a criminal investigation. [TMZ]
• The L.A. County Coroner's office needs another two weeks before it releases the Michael Jackson autopsy report; several outside consultants have not finished their reports, and all tests results are not in. The coroner will not release partial results. [TMZ]
• Okay, this report is insane. Paul Gohranson, the former gay lover of Dr. Arnold Klein, claims that Michael Jackson's father "beat him sterile." Gohranson says: "I asked Arnold why couldn't Michael Jackson use his own sperm and he said Michael was unable to produce kids, physically. Arnold told me of two occasions that Michael Jackson said he was hit in his private area… Joe said something like: 'You're a sissy and if you're a sissy then you don't need balls' and proceeded to hit him…" There's more. [The Sun]
• Tito Jackson says Michael was "so quick" that father Joe couldn't catch him, when Joe wanted to beat Michael with the belt. But you know, siblings remember things differently. [NY Times]
• Warren Beatty doesn't want cameras at his deposition in a dispute with the Tribune Co. over the rights to cartoon detective Dick Tracy. [AP]
• A man threw a bicycle into the path of James Caviezel while he was riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle, and Caviezel suffered cuts and bruises. According to a state trooper, the man may have have thrown the bike due to "mental issues." [Mirror]
• "Jackie Bissett's Death in Love role inspired by her cat." [LA Times]
• "After two kids, you're outnumbered. So once you cross having three, having four is not such a big deal." — Taylor Hanson, on the arrival of his newest child, Viggo Moriah Hanson. [People]
• "I've been heartbroken before, and I didn't want to make light of it. As much as the movie does find humor in it, I don't think the laughs have to be shallow." — Joseph Gordon-Levitt, on new film 500 Days Of Summer. [LA Times]
• "I grew up around a lot of boys, so I'm not bothered at all. But the boys seem to be cutting back and were pretty tame on Funny People. On Knocked Up, all of them, especially Jonah [Hill] and Jason [Segel], were all about these dirty porn sites I didn't even know existed. Now they have girlfriends and talk more about thread counts and where to get a good duvet cover. Next? Basically, I just want to do a movie where I'm surrounded by women." — Leslie Mann, who is married to Judd Apatow and appears in his movies. [WSJ]
• "I'm in New York right now filming and I'm in heaven. I can't always say that about movies, but to be filming this romantic comedy with Jennifer and a story that made my side split when I read it - I'm lucky. I'm happy as a pig in shit, as they say." — Gerard Butler. [Daily Mail]
• "Where will Blanket be in ten years? Hopefully, upgraded to Quilt." — Tina Fey's Twitter. [NY Daily News]

• Jesus Luz went on a Brazilian TV program, Fantastico, and said of Madonna: "She is my friend, only my friend." Hmm. Wow. Okay. He also said:

"Madonna is a person who I admire very much, a friend who has entered my life and [with whom] I keep in contact. I cannot say anything more than I don't have plans of marrying her. I can't say if she is the woman in my life." Dammit! Are they shagging or not? What does it mean? [Gatecrasher, The Sun]

• Lily Allen: Not impressed by Susan Boyle! "I thought her timing was off on Britain's Got Talent on Sunday — no control, and I don't think she has an amazing voice." And! "She seems like a lovely lady but if the show is about talent, then that Shaheen kid should win." [Daily Mail]
• Aww, Kiefer Sutherland and Proenza Schouler's Jack McCollough have kissed and made up! Well there was no kissing, but the two did issue a brief joint statement: "I am sorry about what happened that night and sincerely regret that Mr. McCollough was injured," Sutherland said. "I appreciate Mr. Sutherland's statement and wish him well," McCollough said. Then a unicorn jumped over a rainbow and gumdrops and structured dresses fell from the sky. [USA Today]
• Kiefer's headbutt incident caused some drama on the set of the film he's working on. [Daily Express]
• Guess who was out drinking Thursday night? Kiefer Sutherland. He had his 21-year-old daughter with him. [Page Six]
• Check out the toothless picture Demi Moore posted of herself — from the dentist's chair — on Twitter. Nice glasses. [Daily Mail]
• Charlotte Gainsbourg has won the best actress prize at the Cannes Film Festival for her role in Lars von Trier's Antichrist — in which she does unspeakable things to the genitalia of Willem Dafoe. Congrats! [AP]
• Tragic: Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter is on life support after she was found with her neck caught in the cord of a treadmill. [AP, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Cate Blanchett spoke at the World Business Summit on Climate Change in Copenhagen yesterday, saying: "Australia's best climate scientists have been warning us that we'll face many more catastrophic fire days in south-east Australia unless the world acts to dramatically cut greenhouse pollution. We have the ability to kick start the low carbon economies of the future right when we need to, and that's now." [Breitbart]
• Natalie Cole has been released from the hospital five days after getting a kidney transplant. The memorial service for her sister, who died from lung cancer the same day Natalie received a kidney, was held yesterday. [People]
• We've heard this a zillion times, but now it's confirmed by his "people": Mel Gibson's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant. [People]
• "Actress and Scientologist Kirstie Alley is on a Twittering crusade against a bill that would provide money for screening, diagnosis and treatment of postpartum depression." Here are some of her Tweets:"I have to get you all info on THE MOTHER'S ACT. this is this lousy BILL that would give BIG BROTHER the right to force you to drug ur kids" And: "AND MANDATE that when you are pregnant, YOU MUST take drugs if a Dr. tells you to. THIS is BIG BROTHER at his finest. More on this soon moms." Plus: "I am organizing a MILLION MOM MARCH to protest this BILL. It just keeps rearing it's head. BACKED 100% by BIG PHARMA. MOMS UNITE!!" According to a spokesperson, the "Mother's Act," sponsored in the Senate by Sen. Bob Menendez, will not force "expectant mothers or new mothers to do anything." The spokesperson says: "Furthermore, the pharmaceutical industry has had nothing to do with this bill. We frankly have no idea where they get this stuff." [Politico]
• Lindsay Lohan will star in The Other Side, an indie comedy Katie Holmes was supposed to make. Apparently Katie was really into the script, sending notes and stuff, and then there was a scheduling conflict. This is the one with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Jason Lee, Alanis Morissette and Dave Matthews; Lindsay will play a grad student who goes to spend her summer doing research on a remote island, where she discovers a community of eccentrics who share a secret. [Yahoo via E!]
• While Monica Bellucci was at the closing ceremonies of the Cannes Film Festival, burglars stole about $112,000 worth of jewels, a laptop and such from her Paris apartment. It's so To Catch A Thief! [Reuters]
• Whoopi Goldberg cut her Las Vegas stand up show short on Friday night after a man in the audience had a seizure and collapsed. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's mom, Janis, says Amy drinks because she's bored. "Amy knows her drinking ruined the performance. Of course her band is frustrated, but even they can't stop her. It's just another one of Amy's addictions getting the better of her. It's yet another demon she has to beat. She came off drugs on her own so I know she'll stop drinking too much too. It has to be her decision though, no one else can stop her." [The Sun]
• Colin Farrell will be the best man when his gay brother Eamon Farrell marries his partner Steven later this year. [Daily Express]
• Shocker: Jon & Kate Plus 8 is staged, says Kate's sister-in-law Julie. She blogs: "When the show first started, Kate made a wish list of things that she wanted, and that became the theme of each episode - the carpet, twins' room, bunk beds, cow, hair plugs, teeth whitening, trips, etc. EVERYTHING that you see them do or buy is completely paid for out of the budget for the show or traded for free advertising … The episodes are also staged. Here's how it works ... there is a staff of people reading these blogs and they base the shows around what people are talking about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The Real Housewives Of New York are getting a raise: Next season they'll get "upwards of $30,000 per episode." Raise your hand if you feel impoverished now. [NY Daily News]
• Lost's Evangeline Lilly says that producers "have seen that I haven't picked up on the opportunity to become a big movie star. It frustrates [them] that they've given me this chance to become the next Angelia Jolie" yet she hasn't gone after it. She adds: "Sure, I'd love to be her, but just the humanitarian side." [Page Six via Women's Health]
• Desperate Doused Wives? Teri Hatcher jumped into the pool fully clothed after performing with her charity group, "Band From TV," at Miami Beach's Shore Club. [Page Six]
• Mandy Moore loves watching the cagefighting mixed-martial arts of the UFC: "It's the best way for me to get out my aggression," she says. "The rush of adrenaline, being in an arena with 20,000 screaming people-it's overwhelming in the best way." [Maxim]
• Kevin Bacon's BlackBerry was stolen at a subway station in NYC on Thursday — and KB totally chased the guy! Unfortunately, he didn't catch him. [Daily Mail]
• Liz Taylor is in the hospital, but it's only a routine visit. Also: La Liz hearts Twitter. [MSNBC]
• "Brooke Shields: 'I was a virgin until the age of 22 because I didn't like the way I looked.'" [Daily Mail
• Rapper T.I. played a farewell concert to an arena packed with 16,000 fans Sunday night; he's due to report at the Federal Correction Institution at Forrest City, Arkansas by noon today. [USA Today]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Model Adriana Lima is reportedly three months pregnant; she eloped with NBA player Marko Jaric on Valentine's Day earlier this year. [Gatecrasher]
• Are you wondering if the Jonas Brothers are fizzling out as a Disney franchise? Here's a 1,114 word story that will sort of, but not really, answer that question. [NY Times]
• In this interview with Michael Bay, he divulges that the new Transformers movie takes up huge chunks of computer memory with its special effects. The first Transformers took up "an astounding 15 terabytes," and the sequel required 140 terabytes. "That breaks every record," says Bay. Also: Did you know he directed that old Aaron Burr "Got Milk" commercial? [LA Times]
• Phylicia Rashad, aka Claire Huxtable, is taking over as the mother in the Broadway play August Osage County. This article notes, "In a notable flourish of so-called nontraditional casting, Ms. Rashad inherits a white stage family of three daughters, a husband, a sister and other relatives." [NY Times]
• Are Kylie Minogue and her hot hottie gonna get married? [News.com.au]
• Not that you care but: "Peter Andre tells Katie Price it's 'too late' to reconcile, as he spends first day back with his kids." [Mirror]
• Morrissey has canceled more tour dates due to illness. [BBC News]
• For the last few weeks, there's been lots of buzz about the book Hollywood producer Jon Peters was going to write — with details about Barbra Streisand and so on — and now his book deal is off. Although he's still going to write a book. [Deadline Hollywood]
• "A Night Out With" Nia Vardalos includes Greek desserts, men yelling out blessings in Greek, and Rita Wilson dipping her tongue in a shot glass of Jägermeister, with Vardolos urging, "Do it, do it, do it." [NY Times]
• Sly Stone — previously reclusive — has been taking the stage lately, to support his 27-year-old daughter Novena Carmel, and her band, BabyStone. [CNN]
• Two Scottish cities are fighting over Groundskeeper Willie of The Simpsons. Is there nothing else to do? [The Sun]
• Grumpy Paul McCartney is reportedly "furious" about the switch to digital cable. "He doesn't think it's right that you have to either go to the trouble of getting an adapter or you have to buy a new TV, which he should do anyway," says a source. "You'd think he'd have an apartment full of flat screen TVs but really, he's got these old clunky sets in this tiny New York apartment." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Attention, Black Magic Women: Tomorrow, Carlos Santana will kick off a two-year residency at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. [USA Today]
• RIP Jay Bennett, former member of the band Wilco. [E!]
• Tony Curtis called Joan Collins a "****" but it's tough to figure out what those stars stand for. [Daily Mail]
• Liberty DeVitto, who played with Billy Joel for 30 years, has sued the singer claiming he's owed overdue royalties. [UPI]
• Do you want to read a quote from Heather Mills' ex-fiancé, Chris Terrill, in which he compares her to a tornado? Then by all means, click the link. [Mirror]
• Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian made a whopping $70 million over the last four days; Terminator Salvation made about $65. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Phish tour: Sold out. Go find your tie-dye. [UPI]
• "Simple Minds return with a new album but the same defiant attitude." [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "What seemingly sweet small-screen starlet is actually so nasty that she won't speak to anyone on set until she 'has her face on?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was a divine beginning and it went on becoming more romantic. He took more attention than you can imagine to make sure you were sexually OK, with tiny wee cushions everywhere so one was comfortable. I never knew anyone who gave one such tiny, exquisite attentions. It was like having a wonderful parrot who bites everyone else but you. Everyone said: 'Oh Serge, he's so dangerous.' I said : 'Oh yes, he is,' but really, he was a pushover – very sentimental, very romantic." — Jane Birkin, on Serge Gainsbourg. [Guardian]
• "I don't take myself so seriously. All these people think I do. Look, a lot of people think it's fun to hate on Michael Bay. There's a lot of poison on the Internet. People always try to knock someone who's had a ton of success in movies. Whatever." — Michael Bay. [LA Times]
• "Becoming a mum was the single most profound, self-adjusting moment in my life. I birthed myself. It's like I took back my life. I took back the essence of who I am." — Thandie Newton, who struggled with bulimia before she got pregnant. [Times Of London]
• "Very swiftly we turned into two different people, and it's just hard. He's angry with me that he's home and I'm not. Yet he doesn't really feel great about me, so he wants me to travel. It is so involved I almost can't put it into words. I think the thing that makes me the maddest is: Jon made some mistakes and he was out and whatever, and that made people question him. I'm doing what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. I'm working and traveling. [which led to reports that she was having an affair with her bodyguard]." — Kate Gosselin. [AP]
• "Since I've played for years, I get a little break. I think if I were doing rock music, there would be more doubt because there's such a great tradition of actors doing rock music so badly." — Steve Martin, on his banjo playing and bluegrass album. [NY Post]
• "I have never tap-danced in my life and I was kicked out of the choir in the fifth grade because I can't sing, but for this movie I had to tap-dance and sing in one scene… when I was supposed to be nine months pregnant. So I had tap shorts over fishnets around a fake pregnancy belly, and when I put my arms up to tap-dance in front of 300 people, my pants fell down. It was like embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment." — Sarah Chalke, on shooting the Lifetime movie Maneater. [NY Daily News]
• "For me, it's not a pastime, going out and meeting people and trying to hook up with people. That actually makes me feel disgusting. From a really early age, I was really sensitive to that. Getting your flirt on is the best thing in the world, but when it comes to sharing bodily fluids with a person I don't know — no thank you." — Katy Perry. [Gatecrasher]

[Image by Steven Klein via W Magazine.]

• To start this Memorial Day weekend, here's a picture of Robert Pattinson with his arm around a pretty blonde that is probably making the girl I saw wearing a "Team Edward" t-shirt yesterday cry. [ShowbizSpy]

• The mystery woman is apparently Erika Dutra, who was "was introduced to Robert by a mutual friend at the beginning of the night and he was smitten with her from that point on," according to a source, "He took pictures of her, sat with her all night, and the two of them were even seen kissing! There was serious chemistry between them, and they looked like they were having an amazing time." Related: sales of Erika Dutra voodoo dolls have shot up 999% in Hot Topic stores across the country. [Life&Style]
• "I just want to become a traditional old man with a beer belly. I'd like to be sitting on the veranda of our place in France, just staring out over the lawns." -Johnny Depp [ShowbizSpy]
• Charges will be dropped against Kiefer Sutherland as he has reached an agreement with the designer he headbutted at a Met Gala after-party earlier this month. [USWeekly]
• Blind Item: "Which once-hot pop star can barely sing a note and needs mucho enhancement in the studio, getting help from a songwriter who's also vocally stepped in for that working-class rock band? Similarly, which famous young lady actually does the singing for her more famous sister?" [BlindGossip]
• When Kate Moss goes camping, it's called "glamping." [DailyMail]
• "If I went to a psychiatrist, it would be a long session,' he says. 'I've always thought that I do have a number of issues that probably need dealing with, because I am quite odd in some ways. I get very dark moods for no reason. "- Simon Cowell [DailyMail]
• Wondering if your favorite television show got canceled? Here's a nice rundown of shows that didn't make it. [Yahoo]
• Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, who went through a fairly nasty public divorce, have dined together since, for the sake of their children: "Believe it or not, we had dinner together with all of us," Richards says, "So I love that... It's important for our daughters to see us get along and to be able to be in the same room." [USWeekly]
• Hayden Panettiere was spotted frolicking on a yacht with James Blunt. When asked for comment, James Blunt pulled out a guitar and sang, "My life is brilliant, blah blah blah blah." Not really. But still. [DailyMail]
• "It's so important to have hobbies and girlfriends, and not know people that work in Hollywood. It's a sanity thing; it keeps you sane. I was playing soccer and I joined a kickball league. That's way more interesting to me than going to some party."-Jessica Biel [ShowbizSpy]
• "There'll be a whole new generation that has to be trained and a leader that you'll all love when you meet her. There'll be lots of cadets, boys and girls who'll be learning how to use the neuron splitter and the inter-planet interceptor - new tools to enable them to slip from dimension to dimension."- Dan Aykroyd on Ghostbusters 3. [Guardian]
• Employees at the hotel where Mariah Carey recently stayed during the Cannes Film Festival were ordered to decorate her room with Hello Kitty decor to "help her feel at home." [DailyMail]
• "I was told for a very long time that I was not pretty enough, too strange, not edgy enough. But I've always been famous, it is just that nobody knew."-Lady GaGa [ONTD]
• "There's always a sense of Andy Warhol whenever we make a Black Eyed Peas album. It's an artistic factory with several rooms going at the same time. We don't just sit down. We jump from room to room, all of us adding ideas to the recipe. If you get burned out on one idea or your ears get tired, you walk to another room and step into a whole fresh creative zone for more ideas."- Fergie [Reuters]
• Elizabeth Taylor has "fallen in love" with Twitter and is reportedly tweeting from her hospital bed. [NYTimes]
• In other Twitter news, Heidi Montag sent a tweet to Miley Cyrus that read: "Yeah we can't wait to go to church with you!! We need extra Jesus time before we leave for the Jungle for I'm a Celebrity."[EW]
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar is proud of his Saved By The Bell days: "That image will stay with me for my entire career," he says, "But I'm not looking to shed the persona of Zack. I'm proud of the work I did." Friends forever! With you everywhere! Talkin' bout friends forever! Always will be there, we'll be there! [JustJared]

• In light of infidelity rumors, Jon and Kate Gosselin are seeing a marriage counselor. They're so committed to repairing their relationship, that they may be letting TLC tape their sessions. [The National Enquirer]

• Last night on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Kiefer Sutherland said of his headbutting incident, that he "really regrets having happened." [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse has cancelled her comeback concert in Britain. Her statement said, "Amy would like to apologise to her fans who bought tickets." [The Mirror]
• As mentioned earlier, Natalie Cole's sister Cookie died this week while Natalie was receiving a kidney transplant. Their sister Timolin explained: "Natalie was there with [Cookie] at her bedside at 4 in the morning on Monday, and she got a phone call from her doctors that a kidney was ready for her. She said: 'What do you mean? I can't deal with that right now! I'm here with my dying sister!' And they said to her: 'No, ma'am. We've got to do it now. You've got to be at Cedars-Sinai in two hours.'" Timolin says she told Natalie: "Cookie would want this for you." [UPI]
• Actress Lucy Gordon left two suicide notes before hanging herself in the Paris apartment she shared with her boyfriend. Her father, Richard Gordon, said one letter included her last wishes about her estate, and the other was for her parents. Her father said: "The whole family is so proud of Lucy, and we always have been. Her death has come completely out of the blue and the entire family is devastated." [The Daily Mail]
• Lucy Gordon and her cinamatographer boyfriend Jerome Almeras reportedly had a fight on Tuesday night in their apartment. He found her the next day. She would have turned 29 today. [The Star]
• Heath Ledger's last film, The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus is premiering at Cannes. Director Terry Gilliam said, "Everybody was just energised by Heath, he was extraordinary, he was almost exhausting because he had so much energy - that just passed onto everyone else, everyone's part grew because they were full of Heath's energy." [The Mirror]
• Sharon Stone donated $50,000 to a fund being set up for AIDS research, which will honor Natasha Richardson. Stone said: "Natasha said that she would go on until a cure was found for Aids - I believe that she will." [The Mirror]
• In this video taken outside a L.A. club Jason Wahler challenges Spencer Pratt to a fight and calls him "a little faggot." [TMZ]
• Things aren't as wild at the Playboy Mansion as they used to be. Cops rolled up to the house because they got a call that shots had been fired nearby. It turned out to be a false alarm. They found Hugh Heffner playing backgammon with his son Marston. [TMZ]
• One of the aphorisms in Kanye West's new book Thank You And You're Welcome is" "If everybody thinks it's right, you're doing something wrong." Newsweek asked if Kanye's ever found the people who said he was wrong turned out to be right?I can't think of a particular example like that. But that is something about being a trailblazer: you won't always take the right track. I'm not a psychic. [Newsweek]
• When asked what interview he would most like to do, Larry King said: "Fidel Castro certainly. Always wanted to interview a Pope. Any Pope. And J.D. Salinger, who is probably the most impossible interview to get. The Catcher in the Rye had a major impact on me. I'd ask him, "Where'd you go? Why'd you stop writing? Did you run dry after four books?" That just boggles me. That's something I could never do. Disappear from the scene." [Time]
• This interview with Whoopi Goldberg is chock full of crazy stories about her past, such as how she decided to become a bricklayer in her youth. Goldberg explains: "I was young, homeless and addicted to heroin. I'd dropped out of high school and into drugs. Simple as that. I was a child of the Sixties so I ingested as many mind-altering substances as I could. It was a rite of passage. And when I got clean I was convinced I wanted to be an actor. I just needed a bit of time to convince the acting profession. So, in between, I needed a job." [The Telegraph]
• When asked what he thought about the American Idol finale on his blog, Clay Aiken went into a rant about how the show is fake now writing, "I think they voted AGAINST an American Idol that has, for four years now, been more about the slick productions and polished contestants than it has been about finding the raw talent that it did in its first three seasons." [Perez Hilton]
• Jessica Biel's new movie Easy Virtue, is based on a Noël Coward's play and she sings one of his songs over the credits. She said: "They were moving forward with [Ben Barnes doing it], but found out by looking into Coward's will and things that he wrote about his music that he said no man could ever record that song again. I guess he was in love with somebody and that was it - no man was going to record that again, so you can only find women singing and recording it. So it was very random. I hadn't planned on it, and it was such a treat to get to do that because - and I know no one really knows this about me - I really started in musical theater, with Annie and The Sound of Music. I mean, I wanted to be Whitney Houston, that was my dream." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Ashton Kutcher elaborately pranked CNN and Ted Turner:

He threw a banner with his Twitter name, aplusk, over the CNN neon sign at the Atlanta, GA news center. Earlier in the day, he'd visited a restaurant owned by Ted Turner, Ted's Montana Grill, and, with the help of some friends, neatly stacked hundreds of boxes of Ding Dongs in front of the establishment. Kutcher had challenged CNN to a Twitter race, saying he would donate 10,000 mosquito bed nets to charity for World Malaria Day if he beat CNN, and 1,000 if he lost. CNN agreed to do the same. "CNN lost. That's what happened," Kutcher explained. "I'm just fulfilling a promise I made ... that I'd do this thing and I'm doing it." [CNN]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz are indeed having some kind of Kabbalah commitment ceremony, but Jesus's dad says it's not necessarily legally binding: "I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity." Yeah, no way she is letting him near her cash. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse's father says he fears for her life: "After she almost died twice from drug related problems, to see her walking, smiling - she has progressed so much. But now, if it's alcohol instead of hard drugs - I don't think I can go through that again. I've decided to distance myself, and whatever happens, happens. It's her life. It's her career. It's her decision." [Ok! UK]
• Britney Spears is taking her Circus tour to Europe, which means her kids are going, which means Kevin Federline is getting a free trip as well. [E!]
• Oh, nice headline: "Kelly Clarkson And 'K-Fed' Hit The 'Big' Time With Weight Gains." [Gatecrasher]
• Real Housewives feel remorse! Kelly Bensimon is sorry for being obnoxious to Bethenny Frankel: She emailed, "I honestly owe you an apology." Apparently when Kelly went off on Bethenny there were other reasons she was upset: she had an ex-boyfriend "harassing" her "like crazy," she was late because she had to "organize the girls to go to the beach" and, she claims, "My driver who has been with me since I was 23 told me he had terminal cancer." [Page Six]
• The home of Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, child star of Slumdog Millionaire, has been destroyed by the government. Authorities claim he and other families were squatting on land they did not own, and now, Azharuddin says: "We are homeless, we have nowhere to go." [BBC News]
• In the new Essence, Jennifer Hudson opens up about her murdered mother: "I was always a mama's baby," she says. "I'd go and sleep in her bed until I was 15 years old." Ugh. Sadness! She also says: "The thing that keeps me going is knowing that God is in control. It's like, if He placed me here then I must be prepared." [People]
• Details are leaking out about what really happened the night of the Met Gala: Kiefer Sutherland and Brooke Shields were both drunkety drunk drunk drunk; Jack McCollough did bump into Brooke; she did fall; but it had more to do with the fact that she was wasted and wearing heels. Brooke was fine, but Kiefer "insisted" that McCollough apologize, and then got all nuts and headbutted the designer. Kiefer had blood on his forehead and Brooke was like, "What is that?" A source says: "She thought it was a joke or maybe cherry juice and LICKED IT!!!!!" And! Brooke didn't remember any of it until she read it in the paper the next day. [Perez]
• "Kiefer Sutherland talks Jack Bauer's deathbed and what's next on 24." [LA Times]
• Practice your curtsey: Prince Harry is coming to NYC! [NY Daily News]
• Oh, good: A job for Lindsay Lohan! She'll star in an "indie fantasy comedy" with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews (?!) and Alanis Morissette (!!). The plot revolves around a grad student who spends the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island and discovers an "eccentric community of characters" hiding a secret. And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left when you went away… [Variety]
• Will Olivia Palermo of The City get a "job" at Elle? [Page Six]
• Remember that Absolutely Fabulous remake with Kristin Johnston? Fox "passed" after seeing the pilot. In other words, the project is dead, sweetie darling. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Susan Boyle rode in an airplane for the first time in 8 years, to go from Scotland to London for some voice lessons. This gave the paper permission to call her "The Airy Angel." [The Sun]
• Peaches Geldof was actually heard saying "Don't you know who I am?" while trying to get into a club in London. It didn't work. [Daily Mail]
• Beyoncé and T.I. are the artists with the most BET Award nominations; Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Keri Hilson, Jennifer Hudson, Jazmine Sullivan, Kanye West, Keyshia Cole and Jamie Foxx are also up for prizes. Jamie Foxx hosts; the ceremony is June 28. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Farrah Fawcett's video diary of her struggle with cancer airs tomorrow, but here's a preview. [NY Post]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett recommends the Gosselins of Jon & Kate Plus 8 "get out while they can" and "step off the reality TV gravy train and reclaim their lives." She writes: "Celebrity that comes by way of reality only ends badly. Step away from that sippy cup of confidence that's saying that you can still have the same appeal if you're not together. Apart, you're not the characters those 4.6 million people wanted to watch on TV." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre's split might just be a publicity stunt. Snooze. [Daily Mail]
• Jordan's dressage coach denies being involved with her. Also, LOL pix of Jordan in riding gear. [The Sun]
• This other dressage dude says Jordan's hubs Peter Andre is jealous and always has been. [Daily Mail]
• If you watched American Idol last night, you saw Alicia Keys asking people to text for charity as part of her work for Keep A Child Alive. [AP]
• John Mayer dated this model/actress and she's been babbling and blabbing (blabbling?) about him and how he feels about breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, saying: "He's never really got over it and he still talks about her a lot. He's been playing guitar alone at night, pining over her." Yawn. NEXT. [Perez]
• John Mayer once texted starlet Jessie James, "Let me tuck you in. I want to see you." [Page Six]
• If you liked Cornify, you might like to Kanyefy, with the Kanye West shutter-shades inspired Kanye Vision Bookmarklet. OMG what happens if you use them together?!?!? [F.A.T.]
• Well now I feel really really old: It's the 20th anniversary of Lenny Kravitz's debut album, Let Love Rule. He's celebrating by issuing a remaster with additional material, and says: "If you had asked me 20 years ago if I thought the world would be a better place in 20 years, I would have thought yeah, I would have thought that we'd have some kind of evolution even if it was minimal, but in actuality we are in a much worse place as a global community and as just the planet earth, itself, environmentally as well. I'm not less hopeful. I take the position of remaining optimistic but there's a much deeper hill to climb." [AP]
• Whoa: Mel Gibson paid his wife to stay quiet about their separation, which happened three years ago. He agreed to give her $52 million per year. For that amount of cash, I won't say another word about you Mel. Honest! [MSNBC]
• Rob Lowe and one of his former nannies have both decided to dismiss their lawsuits against each other; Lowe is still in another legal battle with a different nanny. [People]
• Barbra Streisand's ex, Jon Peters, is spilling secrets about how the diva was sexually abused by a slimy movie mogul and had affairs with three of her leading men. [Page Six]
• Cheers star John Ratzenberger has filed a restraining order against his 45-year-old ex girlfriend because she has "indicated that it is common in many country western songs for women to set the cars of their former boyfriends on fire." [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which infamously perverted actor should start checking his dates' IDs? He may not realize that he recently went out with some serious jailbait!" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's known that Jenny Craig has the best tasting food. That's just a fact." — Valerie Bertinelli. [ABC News]
• "That's such a tough question. I would say, probably something in the health industry. It's too late to go to medical school. I'd travel. I'd go back to the years that I never did what I'd wish I'd done, which was travel Europe and backpack. That sounds slightly romantic. What I would do? I don't know. Maybe become a chef. There's so much more to do. It's almost overwhelming. I've gotten to a great place in my career." — Jennifer Aniston, when asked what she would do if she could ditch acting for some other pursuit. [USA Today]
• "I am a real threat to cover 'White Christmas' this year. I'm warning you now: I'm ready, cocked and loaded." — Iggy Pop, to Relix. [Page Six]
• "[Sunglasses] are seriously useful. I can sit in a show and if I am bored out of my mind, nobody will notice… At this point, they have become, really, armor." — Anna Wintour. [Page Six]
• "I'm a completely different person than Lauren. I have a lot more energy. I'm more outgoing. I'm a little more spontaneous. And she has a boyfriend so she's not dating on the show. I'm very open to dating and finding a guy." — Kristin Cavallari, who is the new star of The Hills. [EW]

• Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 says she and Jon may be through. "I don't know that we're in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing," she says.

• "I've been struggling with the question of 'Who is this person?' for a while. I remember where I was the first time I heard her name [Jon's alleged mistress]. It's one of those things where you can try to make it go away, but there's blaring, red flashing lights." [People]
• Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Krieder and his wife Jodi have recorded an interview with Radar Online [in addition to their Star cover story, which was discussed in Midweek Madness]. They claim that Kate told her husband Jon "it's over." As for Jon and Kate Plus 8, Jodi says, "The show is not reality, and has not been for a long time. This is a train wreck." Kevin adds: "Their family is in shambles." [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse's concert in St. Lucia was supposed to be her comeback, but it was "more like a cry for help." She forgot some lyrics, danced erratically, and changed a song because she was "bored." The next day she approached the writer of the article and said, in a little girl voice, "I think I love you, Verky." She started running down to the beach then turned and screamed, "Wait! Are you a lesbian? Oh, well neither am I!" [ONTD]
• Wanda Sykes and her wife, Alex, welcomed twins on April 27. Her wife gave birth to the babies, named Olivia Lou and Lucas Claude. [People]
• Carrie Prejean appeared on Sean Hannity's Fox News show last night to explain her topless photos. "I'm from California. A swimsuit for us is no big deal," she said. She says she was doing a photo shoot for a surfing magazine and her vest just blew open because it was windy. "He was sneaking shots … it's inappropriate," she said. She added that she wound not pose for Playboy and has rejected an offer to star in a porn film. [The L.A. Times]
• Dethroned 2007 Miss Nevada Katie Rees is mad that she was punished for personal pictures taken of her showing a breast, flashing her thong, and "doing her best Katy Perry impression" but Miss California Carrie Prejean gets to keep her crown. "At least when those pictures of me came out, I admitted I was wrong and told young women in America how big of a mistake it was and to be careful because everything can affect your future," she said. "That's more than Carrie has done. She has lied about her age when she took the photos, lied about how many there were and hasn't acknowledged that she was wrong by breaking the contract. I don't think that is a good role model and I hope young women recognize that." [Yahoo]
• Court documents from Carrie Prejean's parents' divorce include explicit allegations from her sister that Carrie was physically abused by both parents and sexually abused by her father. The person blogging for Perez Hilton writes, "We're truly sorry to hear these kinds of things." Then snarks that she should speak out on child abuse as her new platform. How sensitive. [Perez Hilton]
• A battle is raging within Carrie Prejean's old school district in San Diego because some people want to make June 1st "Carrie Prejean Day" and of course, many are opposed. TMZ points out that in Canada June 1 is the National Day Against Homophobia. [TMZ]
• Roseanne Barr is Tweeting under the name "RoseanneBigMamai," sharing her insights like, "that miss cali is a rag, a hank of hair and two silicone bags on heels," and "donald trump is a pimp daddy." [ONTD]
• Kiefer Sutherland is back home in Los Angeles after being charged with assult for headbutting a designer in New York. The cast of 24 is rallying around him and Jon Voight reportedly gave him " a loving hug." [Yahoo]
• While staying in their rented Long Island mansion, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have taken to hanging out at the local Borders, Stop & Shop, and Dunkin' Donuts. They're trying to teach the kids what's normal, but the Oyster Bay locals aren't really helping "They are off the charts excited and everyone is dolled up, " says a source. "The moms are trying to look a little bit more polished. Instead of schlepping in sweat pants and messy hair, now they wear designer jeans and high heels, which they never wear. Usually it's Tod's or Gucci loafers. Everyone is putting a little more effort. Let's face it – he's a handsome guy." [People]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expected to walk the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, where Brad's Inglorious Basterds will premiere. [People]
• Harrison Ford has confirmed his engagement to Calista Flockhart. When an Entertainment Tonight reporter asked if they're happy, Ford said, "You'd be the first to know if we weren't, wouldn't you," before adding, "Yes of course we are, I'm delighted." [The Star]
• Police were called to Lindsay Lohan's home because her burglar alarm went off. They thought someone had broken in because her room had been ransacked, but it turned out she had just committed the crime of having a messy bedroom. [People]
• Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner was given a CLIO Award last night, which rewards excellence in advertising. Weiner said, "I grew up loving advertising as a form of entertainment and I still enjoy it. I think about the fact that for some reason or another it is so close as an artist to the process of the mixture of business and art and wit. And I admire very much what you do. Now ironically I get to feel like I am part of the history of advertising, so thank you very much for this award." [AdWeek]
• Here's an audio recording of 911 calls from Victoria Principal, who says her maid is trying to rob her, and the maid, who says Principal is trying to shoot her. They are both suing each other. [TMZ]
• Robin Williams is resuming his Weapons of Self-Destruction and Reconstruction comedy tour after having heart surgery in March. [People]
• Carla Bruni and French President Nicholas Sarkozy are hunting for a new apartment in Paris. They checked out the late Yves Saint Laurent's flat, and if they buy it they'll be two floors up from Bruni's ex-boyfriend, Mick Jagger. [The Times]
• Howard K. Stern and two doctors, Khristine Eroshevich and Sandeep Kapoor, are being arraigned this afternoon in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case. [TMZ]
• When asked about Sarah Palin, Private Practice's Tim Daly said, "Oh, boy, I'm going to try and be as gracious as Mr. Obama has been about her." His attempt: "I'm sure she's an interesting person, but I would rather hope that, whether our politicians are women or men, they would come in a more articulate and better-informed package than Sarah Palin." [U.S. News & World Report]
• Rachel Weisz plays a recluse with lots of time on her hands in The Brothers Bloom and for the film, "I had to learn to look like I could play violin, piano, banjo, guitar. Unicycle, juggle. I had to learn to do a card trick, a really complicated one. That was me doing that card trick, it was one shot. Rap, skateboard, Pingpong. It was a lot of stuff," Weisz said. "I had two weeks to learn all the hobbies, apart from the card trick, and that was a month that I had to practice every single day." [Yahoo]
• Jay-Z's rider says he should be provided with a late-model black Maybach (either the 57 or 62 model) with tinted windows, various alcoholic beverages and, "good quality peanut butter and jelly, one martini shaker, 12 shot glasses, and a pack of Marlboro Lights." [The Smoking Gun]
• Just hours before they announced their separation Katie Price and Peter Andre appeared holding hands at the British Soap Awards. [The Daily Mail]
• Aerosmith is selling scratch off lottery tickets, which will let fans win concert tickets, backstage passes, and memorabilia. [The N.Y. Times]
• In response to reports that Paris Hilton's party guests vandalized her neighbor's cars, she says, "I had nothing to do with this... I would never egg anyone's car, especially to my boyfriend and sister's [Nicky Hilton] neighbors. My blue Bentley was egged, and so was Nicky's Ranger Rover." Nicky lives up the street from Reinhardt. [Radar Online]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, Shannen Doherty's broke up photographer Kurt Iswarienko's marriage, according to his mother-in-law. [Star]
• Just so you know, according to Maxim Olivia Wilde of House is the sexiest woman alive. [The Mirror]
• Martin Scorsese is directing a biopic about Frank Sinatra called Sinatra. [Variety]
• An email newsletter from British ski-wear company SkiWear4Less has been banned by the U.K. Advertising Standards Authority for including Natasha Richardson in an ad to sell ski helmets. [VideoGum]
• Wilmer Valderrama has recorded a commercial for PETA in which he urges parents not to take their kids to the circus because the animals are abused. "As an actor, it's my job to entertain people," says Valderrama. "Nobody forces me to perform, but, sadly, animals in circuses aren't so lucky. ... Animals aren't willing performers, so please don't ever take your family to a circus that uses animals." [PETA]
• Vegetarian Alicia Silverstone says "I didn't grow up on vegetarian food. I ate the same things that everyone else did. There were times when I would get selfish and eat meat - at eight years old it's hard to stick to your guns," she said, but eventually, "I started thinking, 'Why am I saving one animal and still eating steak? How can I love these creatures so much... and keep eating meat?' Ultimately I thought that if I wasn't ready to eat a dog, I shouldn't be eating meat at all." [The Daily Express]

• Rihanna has a new song, with guest vocals by Lady GaGa, titled Silly Boy. Kanye West posted it online, and the lyrics are:

"I said I'm not coming back. You fooled me once but you can't have that ego turning… Cause you had a good girl, good girl, girl. That's a keeper. You had a good girl, good girl but didn't know how to treat her… So silly boy get out my face. Why do you like the way regrets taste?" Maybe I'm old, but the vocals sound like they were performed by a GPS unit on a dashboard. [The Sun]

• Wow. Eminem is flying 200 laid-off Toledo auto workers to L.A. to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live May 15. The idea is to "put a face on" the plight of American auto workers. [Toledo Free Press]
• Tourism peeps in St. Lucia are still glad Amy Winehouse performed, even though her set at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival was cut short because of rain. Uh, didn't she walk off the stage? [Yahoo News via AP]
• Madonna is so over Yankee Alex Rodriguez, she took her kids to a Mets game. Burn! [Page Six]
• Although Brooke Shields is calling Kiefer Sutherland a "gentleman," this report notes that one of his former co-stars claims he would "go to the bar immediately after he'd finish working. He'd sit there for hours, putting them back. When it was time to go home, he'd be cantankerous and ornery. He was not a pleasant drunk." Now he faces a $1,000 fine and a year in jail in L.A. for violating his DUI probation. [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their wedding vows in a "white trash" wedding, and reporter Rosemary Black writes, "Why is it still PC to make fun of a huge segment of the Caucasian population that is frequently low income and under-educated?" [NY Daily News]
• Will Kara DioGuardi return for another season of American Idol? Seems like she doesn't even know: "I hope I'm here for another season," she says, "but I haven't been asked yet." [Gatecrasher]
• After his stint on Saturday Night Live, Justin Timberlake had dinner with girlfriend Jessica Biel and father Randy Timberlake, who "seemed really proud of him." Aww. [Page Six]
• A lady who works at a St. Louis beauty salon found the Twilight sequel script in the trash outside of a hotel. She returned the New Moon pages to the studio and has been invited to the premiere. [Breitbart]
• The National Enquirer says that Kevin Federline wants more cash from Britney: He currently gets about $40,000 a month but "can't afford the rent, his help, the food and the booze it takes to keep up (his home)." According to a source. [MSNBC]
• Speaking of Britney, Sam Lutfi may have to pay her legal fees from the courtroom battle over the restraining order; that's about $123,142. Not to mention the $72,292 her lawyers are going to try and squeeze out of Adnan Ghalib. [People]
• How will the show Jon & Kate Plus 8 — the fifth season of which premieres in two weeks — deal with the "scandal" its star, Jon Gosselin is involved in? [MSNBC]
• Oh, no. No no no no. Jennifer Aniston wants to be on Mad Men. "I like Mad Men," says Jennifer. "I would love to be in that, it's great. I love the era. I would love it if they offered me a role." But, but, that's part of the charm! That there are no "stars," except for the ones the show created! Sniff. Sob. [Daily Express]
• These drunk pix allegedly caused the marriage of Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre to disintegrate. The "mystery man" makes my gaydar ping, though. [The Sun]
• On Celebrity Apprentice, Joan Rivers sniped that Annie Duke was "worse than Hitler; Hitler never had PMS." Now Rivers says: "It's just an expression. But I stand behind it." [CNN]
• This paper says Joan Rivers is "forever the comeback kid." [NY Daily News]
• In this video interview from August, Farrah Fawcett talks about her terminal cancer: "It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope. It was stressful. I was terrified of getting the chemo. It's not pleasant. And the radiation is not pleasant. It becomes your life. People call, 'How are you?' 'How do you feel?' 'We're praying for you.' 'Do you still have your hair?' 'What do you feel like?' When every single call is that kind of call… it's all you talk about. It's all-consuming. Then, your quality of life is never the same." [LA Times]
• In this video, Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart talks about the "cutting edge" treatment FF received in Germany. [ET]
• Ryan O'Neal recalls the moment he knew Farrah Fawcett was really really sick; they were walking on the beach: "We used to take that walk all the time to the rocks and back. And halfway there she stopped and said, 'Can we go back?' And Red and I looked at each other and we knew…" Also, Farrah doesn't realize son Redmond visits the house in shackles, since he is currently serving a jail sentence. "When you go in to her," Ryan tells Redmond, "don't rattle your chains." Ryan told Today's Meredith Vieira, "She doesn't know... she just holds him." [People]
• The Gossip Girl spinoff, possibly now called Lily and not Valley Girls, appears to be BACK ON. [NY Mag]
• Heidi Montag Pratt has a new video, which involves writhing in a bikini. Also breaking: The sky is blue. [Perez]
• In this interview with Depeche Mode, Martin Gore talks about giving up drinking and Andy Fletcher comments on the band's 30th year of being together: "I think at first when we found out it was going to be 30 years, I think it was, 'Oh my God, how embarrassing. We're really old!' But I think now we've really got our heads around it, and I think it's something to be actually proud of." [CNN]
• Yoko Ono has unveiled a John Lennon exhibit at New York City's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex. Included is a billboard featuring Lennon's blood-splattered glasses that marked the 30th anniversary of his death. Ono says: "I thought I might be criticized for it.. But it's very important now for people to understand what violence is about." [USA Today]
• Congrats to SNL star Maya Rudolph, who is expecting baby number 2. [People]
• Ooh, Rachel Weisz is in talks to play one of my faves, Hedy Lamarr, in a flick called Face Value. Lamarr was not only a screen siren but an accomplished scientist; she created a method of changing frequencies which is the key to modern wireless communication — which will be the subject of the film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Dermot Mulroney will make his directorial debut, Keep It Together, a comedy/drama about "love and divorce." Christopher Walken and Blythe Danner in negotiations to join the cast! [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Scott Speedman is in Atom Egoyan's film Adoration as a tow truck driver: "The guy teaching me didn't realize I was an actor doing it for a movie. He yelled at me up and down. I didn't use a tow double, even though I'm sure they had one at the ready." [USA Today]
• Every anniversary, Tori Spelling's husband slips a new diamond ring on her finger and this year it is a white diamond and a yellow diamond and blah blah blah being rich is awesome. [People]
• Trudie Styler, who co-founded the Rainforest Foundation, flew her hairstylist from New York to Washington, DC, last weekend on a private jet to do her hair and makeup for the White House Correspondents' Dinner. [Page Six]
• Mark Landon, eldest son of Michael Landon, has died at age 60. [Yahoo News via AP]
• The Simpsons stamp could become the nation's most popular stamp, knocking Elvis out of the top spot! [NY Post]
• Blind item! "Which buxom B-list pinup only helps out charities that ply her with cocaine?" [Gatecrasher]
• "How would you like being a young actor walking into a casting agent and the first thing they say is, 'Leave!' " — Liev Schreiber on NPR on the way people used to mispronounce his name. [Page Six]
• "As a mother, you have to read your kids a lot of these books, so it's fun to get involved in the process. I've had such a good time with this. This book is about becoming self aware and that realization in childhood. The title is my nickname, and I hated my nickname when I was seven years old. At that age, I tried to get rid of my freckles and I hated dodgeball - I still hate dodgeball." — Julianne Moore, at a reading of her second children's book, Freckleface Strawberry and the Dodgeball Bully. [WWD]
• "When David and I got to the first shoot we were both standing in our bathrobes, looking at each other and saying, 'Okay, who's going to drop their dressing gown first?' It can be a little intimidating standing half-naked in a studio full of strangers, so it's good to have the support of each other, reassuring and encouraging one another. David is always incredibly supportive of everything I do. I never used to go to the gym before working with Armani – but if you're going to be photographed in your bra and knickers you want to look as good as you can… I still work out every day. I drop the kids at school, and from the school I go to the gym and do the miles on the treadmill. I have worked hard, and if you are going to agree to be photographed in underwear you have to put the hours in, so when you turn up on the day and take off your robe you feel confident that you can do the job. As a 35-year-old mother of three, I'm looking okay." — Victoria Beckham. [The Sun]

• Brooke Shields is contradicting her own reps, who said she wasn't involved in the Kiefer Sutherland headbutting incident. Now she says she "was bumped into by Jack McCollough and Kiefer Sutherland became concerned."

• In a statement issued through her lawyer she added, "Kiefer has always been a gentleman in her company. Both Jack and Kiefer are friends of Ms. Shields and she regrets this unfortunate situation." [TMZ]
• Kiefer Sutherland's rep says he's "troubled by the untruthful and self-serving information circulating regarding Kiefer..." and is confident that the D.A. will throw out the assault charge against him. [TMZ]
• Kiefer Sutherland's rep added, "out of respect for this law enforcement process," Kiefer "will not be making any comment." [People]
• Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis, co-directors of Miss California USA, announced at a press conference that they have appointed the pageant's first runner up, Tami Farrell, the organization's "ambassador," negating Carrie Prejean's role as Miss California. Lewis explained, "If Miss California is unavailable, or if it would be unwise to put her in a specific appearance, we now have an ambassador to represent us." He added, "We've been hijacked at the moment; we've been unable to do the work at hand." [ABC News]
• Miss California USA officials also passed out a booklet at the press conference called, "Miss USA 2009 State Entry Contract: Sections violated by Carrie Prejean." In addition to Prejean's violations, it says the role of the new "Beauty of California Ambassador" is to take the reigns when the "Miss California USA or Miss California Teen USA titleholder is unavailable." [TMZ]
• Farrah Fawcett says she would have appreciated privacy during her 2.5 year battle with anal cancer, but the paparazzi have continued following her. "It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope," she says. She's particularly mad about a December 2006 National Enquirer story called "Farrah Begs: 'Let Me Die." She says, "God, I would never say something like that. To think that people who did look up to me and felt positive because I was going through it too and yet I was strong … it just negated all that." [People]
• When Farrah Fawcett found out her cancer had returned in May 2007 she didn't tell her family and friends at first because she wanted to prove her theory that someone at UCLA was leaking her medical information to the tabloids. "I set it up with the doctor," said Farrah. "I said, 'OK, you know and I know.' . . . I knew that if it came out, it was coming from UCLA." The leaker, Lawanda Jackson, was paid $4,600 by the National Enquirer. She pleaded guilty in December to the charges, but died in March of cancer, before the sentencing. [The L.A. Times]
• 20-year-old Dania Marin has filed for a restraining order against Ryan O'Neal because she says he's been harassing her with lewd phone calls. "He asked me if I wanted to masturbate with him. Offered me a car back if I would engage with him," she claims. "He freaked me out. I filed the retraining order because I was afraid that he knew where I lived or would come to my house. He's old enough to be my grandfather." [The Daily Express]
• Michael Jackson's London concerts may not happen because the company that was putting together a series of concerts featuring Michael, Janet Jackson, and the rest of the family, have sent a cease and desist letter to the organizers of MJ's solo concerts. They say Jackson signed a contract saying he wouldn't make another concert deal for 18 months. [TMZ]
• In a new interview, Nadya Suleman says she "exaggerated" when she said recently that she was having half of her uterus removed so she couldn't have more kids. She says she's having a "myomectomy," a procedure to remove fibriods from her uterus. She says it will actually boost her fertility, but she doesn't plan on having any more. [Radar]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet say they will donate to a fund set up to pay the nursing home fees for Millvina Dean, the last living Titanic survivor. The British woman has been selling off Titanic memorabilia recently because she can't afford the fees for her nursing home, where she has lived for three years. [USA Today]
• David Hasselhoff's ex, Pamela Bach, has asked the judge in their divorce to order Hasselhoff to maintain life insurance, which would pay her support if David dies. Hasselhoff says that wasn't part of their divorce deal. [TMZ]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are trying to adopt a girl. "Harrison's begun the process of adopting Liam too," says a source. "He's been a father figure to the boy almost since day one." [Star]
• Though George Clooney says he'd be happy to take a lie detector test to prove that Rande Gerber is not guilty of sexual harassment, the two former waitresses suing Gerber have refused to take the test. [TMZ]
• When asked about his kissing scene with co-star Jennifer Aniston in The Baster, Jason Bateman said, "It felt ... It was a good scene, I'll say that. It was a good scene." [People]
• Matthew Reeve, Christopher Reeve's son, is running the New York City Marathon to raise money for his father's foundation, which helps people with spinal cord injuries. [AP]
• Kim Kardashian says her step-father, Bruce Jenner, "has gotten a lot of media criticism in the past for getting an ill-advised partial facelift and a nose job," 25 years ago. She wrote on her blog, "Unfortunately, the result wasn't what Bruce had hoped for ... Since he's turning 60 in October, Bruce felt it was time to correct the mistakes made by the previous doctor so he went to a new doctor for a second facelift. The results are amazing! Bruce looks better than ever and he is extremely happy with the result." [People]
• "I have acne scars. I'm self-conscious about that, so sometimes I wear too much makeup to cover them up. I got acne at the start of my career. It was a stressful time. I have insecurities like anyone." - Katy Perry. [Perez Hilton]
• Ginnifer Goodwin says, "I perpetuate rumors that I've dated people that I've never actually dated ... Dorothy Parker once said something along the lines of, ‘I don't care what's written about me so long as it isn't true.' It's safe making." [W]
• When reporters harassed Fergie about when she and husband Josh Duhamel are going to have kids, she said, "Now, it's all about the Black Eyed Peas ... We'll see. At the end of this run that we're doing right now, whatever feels natural and right. I always follow my gut. So, whatever it's going to tell me is going to be right." [People]
• Jamie Foxx will host the BET Awards on June 28. [UPI]
• One week after his brother died of cancer at 37, David Cook has resumed his tour. Halfway through the song "Lie" he stopped and told the audience, "It's gonna be tough for me. I'm sorry. Do you mind if I sing a different song?" [E!]
• Morrissey has cancelled a concert in London due to an undisclosed illness. [The Mirror]
• George Hamilton says of his sexual relationship with his step-mother that began when he was 12, "It really didn't seem that strange to me. I think I'd developed enough sexual energy by then to find the whole thing… well, interesting. When I look back on it, I don't think my life was changed as a result. I certainly don't think it was abuse. If anything, I think it made sex less important. I'd lost my virginity quite early on, and this freed me up. I wasn't so preoccupied with sex anymore." [The Telegraph]
• When asked if she is concerned that she is popular in the rest of the world but not the U.S., Kylie Minogue said, "It doesn't frustrate me. It's frustrating being asked about it and the assumption that it's something really missing in my career and in my life. [Yahoo]
• For those of you fluent in U.K. gossip, Jordan and Peter Andre have split up after five years of marriage. [The Sun]
• Michael Emerson says of playing Ben Linus on Lost, "It's more physical than I ever dreamt. I mean, I thought I had reached an age where I wouldn't be doing combat anymore. I was going to be one of those old codgers. The heavy lifting I would be doing dramatically would be cigarette holders and martinis. Of course, none of that's worked out and now here I am rolling around in the jungle, fighting and shooting. I feel naked on the show if I'm not covered with bruises and dried blood." [The Huffington Post]
• Before he serves a yearlong prison sentence for possession of illegal firearms, T.I. blogged on the Huffington Post, "Through this painful process of going to court and being convicted, I realized that I had to make a change." He writes, "I hope that through my mistakes, young people can begin to learn, as I did, that we have to put our guns down and start to give our guns back. It pains me inside to hear about so many of our people dying because of gun violence." E!]
• In one of Eminem's new songs he raps about Mariah Carey, saying, "Mariah whatever happened to us? Why did we ever have to break-up? ... Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin whore." Nick Cannon has responded, posting on his blog, "Man to man, let's meet up and deal with this like adults ... Miss Marshall, I'm going to make you wish you never spoke my name and regret the ungodly things you said about my wife." Cannon continues, "Your legacy has now been tainted from this day forth! You will now be known as the rapper who lost to corny-ass Nick Cannon!" [People]

• The National Enquirer claims that Mel Gibson sat his kids down and informed them that his Russian girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant with his child, and they aren't too happy about it.

• "In late April, Mel gathered his children at the family home in Malibu and broke the news that Oksana is pregnant, and he expects them to accept the baby as a new sibling," said a friend but, "They are quite upset. Even though Mel assured them the pregnancy was unplanned, they're furious with him and say they're going to take steps to protect their inheritance, which they feel is in jeopardy." [The National Enquirer]
• Kate Winslet is suing the U.K. newspaper Daily Mail for £150,000 over an article that claimed she lied about how little she needs to work out to stay in shape. She claims they are guilty of libel because she really doesn't go to the gym. [BBC]
• Sam Mendes and Kevin Spacey are working on the Bridge Project, a British/American action company that will perform the works of Shakespeare and Chekhov on tour. [The Telegraph]
• In an upcoming tell-all book, Lance Armstrong writes that he broke up with fiance Sheryl Crow because she wanted kids. "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids. Yet we're up against her biological clock - that pressure is what cracked it," he said. "Because if somebody wants a child - man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman - so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue." [The Daily Express]
• Fashion designer Jack McCollough needed surgery after Kiefer Sutherland allegedly headbutted him. "Mr. McCollough suffered a broken nose in three places as a result of the assault," his rep said. "He received medical treatment last night after consulting with physicians." A source said McCollough, "had to have his nose reset. It's painful and it felt horrible." [People]
• Dina Lohan is defending her parenting skills, claiming that Ali Lohan doesn't just party with her sister Lindsay all day. "Ali is in a home-schooling program. She has never been pulled out of school," Dina says. "It's the same home-schooling program that Lindsay was in since the tenth grade. It's a wonderful program that many celebrities are enrolled in." [People]
• Sarah Palin supports Carrie Prejean and called her to offer support, according to Miss California's father, William Prejean. Prejean added that he's not gay, contrary to reports, but "The gay and lesbian community has been supportive of Carrie," he says, "Everyone comes up to Carrie and says, 'We may not agree with you, but we respect you for what you say and these individuals do not.' And they're very emphatic. 'Do not represent the gay and lesbian community.' " [E!]
• The Miss California pageant's state directors Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler rallied a group of beauty queens to film a commercial promoting the diversity of California, but Carrie Prejean said she had a "prior personal commitment otherwise she would have been glad to participate." [Fox News]
• Earlier this week Shanna Moakler posed with two other former pageant titleholders, with duct tape over theirs mouths for a pro-gay marriage PSA promoting equal rights and NO on California's Prop 8. Moakler said of the new Miss California diversity ad, "I think it's really important that people understand that though Carrie Prejean is allowed to have her opinions, they don't necessarily coincide with the Miss California Organization." [Perez Hilton]
• The Mexico City premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine was postponed due to swine flu, but now Hugh Jackman Tweets: "I will bring Wolverine to Mexico City on May 26 to provide a moment of fun escapism and a treat for some of the loyal fans of the comic ... My thoughts and prayers have been with all of those that have suffered directly or indirectly from the swine flu in Mexico." [E!]
• A source claims that Natalie Portman is the reason Sean Penn filed for divorce from Robin Wright Penn, and that they're still seeing each other. "She stimulates him in ways no other person has, mentally or professionally," says a source. "There's a lot more there with Natalie than any of the other girls Sean's been with." [Star]
• Random people who live near Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 think that she may have been cheating too. "I heard Kate was getting way too close with her personal trainer, so Jon started cheating," Trisha Berlin, a fellow Pennsylvanian said. Kate has also been linked to her bodyguard, who bloggers call "Mr. Gray." [Star]
• Candy Spelling wrote on the Huffington Post, "I'm not feuding with my daughter [Tori Spelling]. She just doesn't speak to me. And, she's a good marketer." It's not really the best step for a woman who says she wants to finally "mesh" with her daughter. [The Huffington Post]
• David Beckham is denying rumors that he had a dinner date with Hungarian model Mariann Fogarasy. Beckham said: 'Ninety per cent of what is written about us is invented. The last one was this story about the Hungarian model, I have never been out to dinner with this young lady.'I do not flirt with other women - I exist only for Victoria." [The Daily Mail]
• Sacha Baron Cohen bleached his body hair for Bruno and discovered that he is severe allergic to peroxide and required medical treatment. [People]
• Apparently that included bleaching his anal hair. He couldn't sit for days. [TMZ]
• Sienna Miller wrote on The Huffington Post about her trip to the Congo for International Medical Corps. [The Huffington Post]
• Deborah Gibson is trying to get fans to campaign to get her on Dancing With The Stars. She Tweeted: "DWTS won't cast me cuz I did skating show!? I didn't produce it - just on it! Did u guys know that? Start a petition!!!!" [Perez Hilton]
• Whitney Houston is recording a new album. [Perez Hilton]
• John Cleese says alimony payments to his ex-wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger are preventing him from finishing the A Fish Called Wanda musical. II think we've got some very good ideas now but one of the problems is I can't settle down to write it until I've earned enough money to do that because there is no money being paid to me for doing it," he said.
  "Otherwise you lose control of it artistically and I do still have to find £1 million a year in alimony, so I have to earn that before I get started. So I will get down to it when I've done that." [The Daily Mail]
• Did Jaime Hince of The Kills disappear from his tour to spend time with girlfriend Kate Moss? His bandmate was so worried about him she posted an alert on her Facebook page. [The Daily Mail]
• Tori Amos says her new album Abnormally Attracted To Sin is inspired by the financial crisis. She said, "The world has changed completely, it seems, in the past two years. The world that we all knew before, could wake up in feeling safe, ... now it seems that everything has been turned upside down," [Reuters]
• Coldplay drummer Will Champion says of the recent accusations that the band plagiarized Viva La Vida, "It's tough when people accuse you of stealing something when you know that you didn't. So, we accept that it's part of the territory and know it is only for some reason, God only knows why, the successful songs that seem to be the ones that are accused of being stolen. So, you go figure it out." [Rolling Stone]
• Rachel Weisz would like us to know we're mispronouncing her name. "In America everyone says it wrong. It's V-I-C-E. I learned to be polite. I have been here for eight years, but now I am going to start correcting people." [N.Y. Magazine]
• The main lodge at the Soldier Mountain Ski Resort, which is owned by Bruce Willis, will be rebuilt after a March 30 fire. [Yahoo]
• Amy Winehouse is scheduled to perform today at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival, her first appearance in about eight months. [People]
• Gretchen Wilson says she wants to make up with her mother. "As far as I know things are going a lot better with her life than they were previously," said Wilson. "And so I'm thinking that this Mother's Day, we might reconnect." [AP]
• Kendra Wilkinson says her fiancé Hank Baskett will cry at their wedding. "I'm a crier," Wilkinson said. "I laugh. Whenever I feel like crying I'll laugh to overpower it. So I'll be laughing on the way down [the aisle] because I'll see Hank crying," she continued. "I know he'll cry. When I get to him, that's when I'll cry." [E!]
• Christina Applegate is the 2009 Ambassador for Lee National Denim Day to support the fight against breast cancer. [People]
• Jimmy Fallon left the College of St. Rose in Albany in 1995 one semester short of graduation. At commencement this weekend he will receive his diploma and speak at the college. [Yahoo]
• Sex and the City co-star Mario Cantone says of Sarah Jessica Parker's soon-to-be born twin girls, "I'm thrilled for her! She has definitely wanted to have a girl ... She's going to have so much fun bringing the two girls up and teaching them to be young ladies." [People]
• Lane Garrison has been released from rehab. "He stayed at the facility for a couple of hours," says a source. "Because of the work he did as a substance-abuse program leader while he was incarcerated, they said he had already served his time in regards to rehabilitation so it would be redundant considering the work that he had already completed." The courts don't agree, and his has another two to three years of parole left. [ E!]
• Today, after receiving an honorary doctorate of humane and musical letters from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, Dolly Parton said, "Just think, I am Dr. Dolly!" [AP]
• Brody Jenner has confirmed that Kristen Cavallari is joining The Hills, if anyone cares. [ZackTaylor.ca]
• This article about "What happened when a famous rockstar's 'model' daughter threw a strop on set..." is like a 300 world blind item, but it's Friday, and we're too tired to figure out who it is. [The Daily Mail]
• The White Stripes haven't split up and Jack White says new material won't be, "too far off. Maybe next year." [Rolling Stone]
• Paris Hilton is on vacation with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, but she keeps posting pictures of the two making out on Twitter with captions like, "My smooches from a secret island." Warning: close up shots of the two making out at the link. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow has put a session with her personal trainer Tracy Anderson up for auction on eBay to benefit Clear Water Initiative, a charity that provides clean water to poor areas. [The Daily Express]
• Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour is holding a concert at a secret location on May 24 to raise money for the charity Crisis. Fans will be told the location via text message the day before. [The Daily Express]
• Sandra Bullock says since marrying Jesse James in 2005, "I've had to learn a hard lesson in that I'm not allowed to open car doors anymore," Bullock says. "It was so hard for me to allow someone to take care of me. It's not because I can't take care of myself. But Jesse was like, 'Just let me do this.'" [People]
• Daniel Radcliffe has been hanging out with Our Lady J., who the UK papers have called a drag queen. She said, "I have no comment on Daniel, except that we support each other as artists. And I'd like to clarify that I'm not a Dolly-Parton-impersonating drag queen: I am a singing/songwriting/piano-playing woman (of transexual experience, if you must). And I happen to be a very powerful witch, so don't fuck with me fellas!" [Popnography]
• In a recent interview porn star Sasha Grey said she wanted to drape herself in a Palestinian flag, go on The Howard Stern Show and confront the shock jock for being "a closet racist." She claims she was joking, but Howard Stern is insulted that she called him a racist and said, "For the most part, I really don't want to hear a porn star try to prove how intelligent [she is] and her porn is a political statement. I mean, that just sounds absurd to me." He continued, "What a genius. I'm going to sit there and listen to this. Please. Just tell me how much cock you can suck and how far you can swallow a hot dog. That's what I want to know. I mean, really. How dare you?" [Rolling Stone]

• Says totally important designer Alaïa, whose designs Nuclear Wintour snubbed in the Met exhibit, "she behaves like a dictator and everyone is terrified of her...but I'm not scared of her or anyone." BURN! [WWD]

• The Costume Institute curator, Harold Koda, says it's just a misunderstanding: "We would have loved to have had his pieces in the show, but there was a lot of miscommunication...Maybe it was oversensitivity on my part in broaching it informally rather than with a formal letter. Nobody is to blame. My understanding was that he didn't want his work in the show, so I honored it." [WWD]
• Speaking of Alaïa: Michelle Obama was not wearing him at Tuesday's Time 100 Gala. Contrary to what the White House reported, it was Michael Kors. Quoth the perma-bronzed Mikey's spoeksguy, "I've been digging out of the Alaïa hole all day." [WWD]
• And if you covet the square-necked stunner, it can be yours - for a price. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Speaking of the First Lady, Jason Wu still hasn't met her. But he'd like to! []
• Anna Wintour is also angry with Jack Bauer. For that whole head-butting unpleasantness. "Anna is furious that the Met Gala got upstaged by Kiefer doing something stupid at an after-party that wasn't even part of her event. Now that's all anyone is talking about, not her party. And she is so genuinely fond of Jack, she has supported him and Lazaro for years, she really feels they are part of the future of American fashion. So she's doubly annoyed." [StyleList via New York]
• Marc Jacobs is introducing another scent, Lola. And we're really hoping "Whatever Lola Wants" is integrated into the campaign. [WWD]
• Rival agencies Ford Models and Next Management are fighting over model Kendra Spears. In the meantime, Spears is walkin' for Next. Poached model on toast! [NY Post]
• Quoth the cuckolded Ford, "Kendra Spears is one of the shining stars of the Ford development system. Signed as a prospect while still a teenager in braces, for more than a year, Ford has painstakingly cultivated Spears - literally, taught her how to be an international fashion model." Literally, people! [New York Daily News]
• Oh, in case you were feeling good about yourself? Yeah, when moddles have babies, it makes them really, really skinny. Says Natalia Vodianova, "My agency thought that I might never do shows, because I was a bit shorter and not skinny enough, but what happened was; when I gave birth to my first son I was 19, so I lost a lot of weight. I guess the stress on the body was extreme and I suddenly just turned into this stick - just the way designers love models - and after Lucas was born that's when my career took off. I opened a lot of shows on the runway and that's where stars are made in my industry." [VogueUK]
• Thank God. Karl Lagerfeld has addressed the severe shortage of tweed motorcycle helmets with embedded iPod. [FashionWeekDaily]
• Says C.H.I.P.S. honoree Alberta Ferretti, in L.A., "It's wonderful to see both actresses and real women in my clothes." Real women, fake women - that's democracy in action, people. [WWD]
• The ugly family battle over the L'Oreal fortune escalates, as 86-year-old Liliane Bettencourt's children demand their mother get a psychiatric evaluation; they claim she's senile and in the clutches of a shameless gigolo. As one does. [Guardian]
• Stella McCartney's controversial Met Ball lace onesie was an improvisation. Quoth fellow rock-scion Liv Tyler, "Stella and Kate [Hudson] and I all got ready in Stella's suite at the Carlyle, which was like a four-hour process, and when I arrived at two o'clock they were literally cutting a piece of lace fabric with scissors, which later became Stella's outfit. They made it in two or three hours...It was coming apart at the seams at times and they were literally making it till the last second we left, but we had a ball." Her ladies-in-waiting also had to help her use the bathroom. Il faut souffrir, etc. [New York]
• The Crocs bubble has officially burst. [The Street]
• Dolce and Gabbana take the responsibility of designing a Tour de France jersey seriously! Quoth the pair,"An institutional symbol such as the Pink Jersey shall be respected. It cannot and shall not be distorted. And this is the reason why we customized it with certain historical details of the Dolce & Gabbana style, such as the tricolor bands and the effect of the superimposed jerseys, leaving untouched the base which is well-known all around the world." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Green is still the new black: YSL, Sergio Rossi and Banana Republic are all rolling out eco-chic. Only select pieces, of course. [ElleUK]
• More good news: Armani's up. [WWD]
• Talking about their Really!-It's-nothing-like-Project-Runway-we-swear! Bravo offeringThe Fashion Show, co-host Kelly Rowland says, "I think what makes The Fashion Show so unique is that it's the people's decision, and not only that but it's a real show for real people. This is coming from the consumer's point of view - what they like, how it fits, how creative it is." [TV Watch]
• Cupcake Alert! Rebecca Taylor is teaming up with New York's Billy's Bakery to do a line of Mother's Day sweets. "The Vanilla Twinkle cupcake - made of yellow cake with blue vanilla butter cream and a sprinkle of white crystal sugar and silver candy dots - is inspired by a blue dot chiffon dress from the designer's spring 2009 runway. The Mocha Meow cupcake - a chocolate cupcake with mocha-flavored butter cream topped with chocolate sprinkles - resembles the leopard-print pieces in the collection." [WWD]
• Here's some video of Victoria Beckham filming her nearly-nude Armani ad. Quoth Posh, "Creatively I have a lot of input into the shoot. I like the hair. it's really different for me, but I like to change it up, try different looks, a radical new image." [Grazia Daily]
• Ailing designer Pierre Cardin is on the mend, and heading home to the chateau after a stint in hospital. [WWD]
• Model Liya Kebede has a timely essay on global maternal health in the HuffPo. Sing it! [Huffington Post]
• FYI: a Jason Evans Associates hooded jacket has been recalled due to a strangulation hazard. But...aren't all drawstring hoods kind of strangulation hazards? [UPI]

• Kiefer Sutherland surrendered to police yesterday for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. He was arrested and charged with a third-degree assault charge. He was photographed and fingerprinted. Then he left. [People]

• This report says Kiefer was not arrested, but received a desk ticket. [TMZ]
• This report says Kiefer was arrested but not jailed and should have a court date in the next few weeks. [Reuters]
• Kiefer looks handsome in spectacles! [Gothamist]
• This paper claims Kiefer Sutherland "strolled" into the police station, "as cool in a crisis as his 24 alter ego." [NY Daily News]
• And! This says Kiefer "meekly" surrendered to cops. [NY Post]
• Uh-oh. Anna Wintour is fucking pissed that the biggest story from the Met ball is Kiefer's headbutt. A source says: "Anna is furious that the Met Gala got upstaged by Kiefer doing something stupid at an after-party that wasn't even part of her event. Now that's all anyone is talking about, not her party. And she is so genuinely fond of Jack, she has supported him and Lazaro for years, she really feels they are part of the future of American fashion. So she's doubly annoyed." DOUBLY ANNOYED. This will not end well. [NY Mag]
• Brooke Shields has told friends that she was indeed "jostled" by Jack McCollough at the Met Gala, but it was "no big deal" and had more to do with her 6-inch heels and a dark and crowded room. In any case, maybe Kiefer thought Jack pushed her?!?! [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan has been taking her 15-year-old sister to parties and a source says: "Dina took Ali out of school and now all she does is hang out with Lindsay — who is back to drinking and partying hard. Ali is now wearing really skimpy outfits, and it's just sad. No one is in control. Where are children's services? Where is Dina?" Is this "source" Michael Lohan??? [Page Six]
• Rihanna had planned to wear thigh high lace-up Louis Vuitton boots to the Met Gala, but Madonna wanted to wear them and "and insisted that nobody else could be seen or photographed in them." Rihanna was fine with it. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse will play the St. Lucia jazz festival tonight, she says, "It also is an honour for me to appear on the same bill as great singers such as Chaka Khan and Patti LaBelle as well great jazz musicians like Monty Alexander and George Duke." And! She loves St. Lucia! "Since I first came to the island, I have been greeted with nothing but kindness and friendship, as well as incredible music and the most beautiful of settings. I have made friends for life and have been inspired by my surroundings. The laid-back lifestyle definitely suits me, it's a home from home with great beaches." Is it too late to catch a flight? [Mirror]
• Paula Abdul has something to say! "I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone that I have never been addicted to or abused drugs in my life," she says. "I have never been drunk." Wait, what?!?!? "I have never entered a rehab or detox treatment center. I spent time hiking, bicycling, doing yoga and enjoying the spa. As anyone who has visited the La Costa Resort knows, it is a luxury hotel, not a rehab facility." Oh. Hmm. But did you tell Ladies Home Journal you went there to kick your pill habit?!?! [E!]
• Megan Fox has something to say! "If you know how to take control of [being a sex symbol], then it can be powerful. But I have no idea how to handle it yet, how to deal with it. I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against — but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've every learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard – but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [People]
• Jon Favreau used his Twitter account to describe Scarlett Johansson's first day in her Black Widow outfit on the set of Iron Man 2: "Scarlett's first day on set in the Black Widow outfit… You've never heard a crew get so quiet so fast." [Mirror]
• Five months after Jennifer Hudson's dude David Otunga proposed to her; she proposed right back with a "architectural and geometric" platinum and diamond men's ring. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston is acting in The Baster — the comedy about a woman whose best friend (Jason Bateman) secretly fathers her child when he swaps her intended artificial insemination sample with his own — and she is also the executive producer. She says of doing double duty: "I'm just exhausted." [USA Today]
• A judge is placing Roman Polanski's case on hold — not throwing it out; the judge said that because "Mr. Polanski doesn't intend to submit himself to the jurisdiction of the court," his motion for dismissal would be denied. [AP]
• Sparkly vampire and same-sex scene god Robert Pattinson has hit No. 1 on USA Today's high scientific Celebrity Heat Index, which measures media exposure. Some schmuck named Brad Pitt is No. 2. [USA Today]
• Sarah Jessica Parker has joined the board of the New York City Ballet and will host the Spring Gala next week, where Samantha Ronson will DJ. [Page Six]
• Again with this story: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "bisexual tattooed rocker." And? [The Star]
• The pastor of Miss California Carrie Prejean would like all you haters to leave her alone. "We are all sinners. Christians aren't perfect," he says. "The pictures are from when she was 17, and they do not disqualify her from being able to share her opinion." [E!]
• "Smitten" Joe Jonas is desperately seeking a "lovenest" for he and girlfriend Camilla Belle to sneak off to, since his brothers always seem to be around. He may wear a purity ring but it certainly sounds like he's thinking some perfectly natural and wonderfully impure thoughts. GET IT. [Contact Music]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is "mulling" over whether to return to the London stage in a production of Chekhov's The Three Sisters. [Daily Mail]
• Meryl Streep on 30 Rock? "I would love to do that yes," she says. "It's an amazing show." Tina Fey: Make it happen. [Mirror]
• Time does "10 Questions With JJ Abrams." I like this one: Q: What is your favorite plot twist of all time? A: The one that comes to mind is the end of Planet of the Apes, when you realize, "Oh my God, he's never getting home because that is home." I just remember seeing that as a kid and I was like, "That's it. My brain just stopped." [Time]
• Lady GaGa's breast popped out during a video shoot. A source says she laughed and said: "You better make sure you airbrush my nipples!" [Gatecrasher]
• Ouch: Sacha Baron Cohen bleached all of his body hair to play Bruno, but "shortly after having the procedure done he felt a burning sensation and it grew steadily worse. It was so severe around a certain part of his anatomy that he couldn't sit down for three days." [Telegraph]
• "Paris [Hilton]: I don't keep a diary..I Google myself." [The Sun]
• A new biography claims Patrick Swayze didn't realize he was sick until it was nearly too late. [Gatecrasher]
• Samantha Morton spent the first 16 years of her life either in care or living in foster homes; now she has a film which will air on TV in the UK — called The Unloved — about a girl who grows up in the system. [Daily Mail]
• Keanu Reeves will star in the Universal Pictures retelling of the classic tale The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which will be titled Jekyll. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ooh, Marisa Tomei and Liv Tyler will star in a psychological thriller called 10A/10B, about the relationship and consequences that result when a culinary perfectionist, portrayed by Tyler, and an actress with a failing career, played by Tomei, become neighbors in a loft apartment building. [Variety]
• "Farrah Fawcett's Friends Prepare To Say Goodbye." Ryan O'Neal says she "stays in bed now" and her treatment has "pretty much ended." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Leonard Nimoy is in the new Star Trek, and now JJ Abrams has also made him a guest-star on Fringe. [USA Today]
• A promoter from Suriname admits that he scammed people into thinking they were paying $53 to see Toni Braxton, when in fact they were watching Braxton impersonator Trina Johnson-Finn sing. [USA Today]
• Lenny Kravitz will tour the UK in July and take a guitar which belonged to Jimi Hendrix with him. [Daily Express]
• Ozzy Osbourne hearts Phil Collins. [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which top model's hubby is hoping some sexy literature will spice up their love life? He recently gave her a graphic tome and asked what she'd be into most." [Gatecrasher]
• "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids… Yet we're up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it. Because if somebody wants a child — man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue." — Lance Armstrong, on why he broke up with Sheryl Crow. [Page Six]
• "I couldn't even pick up a girl until I had a hit song. When that happened, in a club in Argentina, I rang my five best friends and said: 'Get down here, we are all going to get laid.' It was crazy what a hit could do. But I do hide behind my clothes a bit. I am the opposite of a playboy." — Enrique Iglesias. [Daily Mail]
• "There were some locations, that by all rights we were supposed to have access to — in front of certain churches, for instance. But two or three days beforehand we were requested not to shoot there by local officials. I think that church officials gave the word to the local government that they didn't want us filming in certain places." — Ron Howard on shooting Angels & Demons. [WSJ]
• "'My weakness - if you can call it that - was drugs. I took all sorts from a fairly young age, ecstasy and LSD among them. It almost led me to a very long period in jail. I was high on drugs, on one occasion, and threatened to kill one of the older girls I was living with, who had been picking on me." — Samantha Morton. [Daily Mail]
• "It used to be Diane Keaton – she always used to tell me, 'I'm terrible, I'm awful, I can't do it, you should get someone else.' And she was always brilliant. Well, Larry is like this. I'd always been a fan. I asked him to do it, and he said, 'But I can't act! I can only do what I do, I'm not an actor, you'll be disappointed. Those are the ones who can always do it. The ones that tell you how great they are can never do it. When it came time, he did it. And not just the comedy, which I expected, but all the other things which required acting, emotions and being touching." — Woody Allen, on Larry David, who stars in Allen's film, Whatever Works. [Independent]
• "The Hanso Foundation that started the Dharma Initiative hired this guy Valenzetti to basically work on this equation to determine what was the probability of the world ending in the wake of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Valenzetti basically deduced that it was 100 percent within the next 27 years, so the Hanso Foundation started the Dharma Initiative in an effort to try to change the variables in the equation so that mankind wouldn't wipe it itself out." — Lost's Damon Lindelof, on what the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 actually mean. [NY Mag]
• "It's real love. And we will be married forever and ever and ever. I legally changed my name to Pratt. I'm very excited. I thought about my dress for years. I knew everything I wanted. I knew I wanted a strapless, gorgeous, big, flowy, princess, fun, amazing dress, and that's what I had. I wanted it to be really classic but young and fun and fresh. I felt like a princess, and it was perfect. I was just sitting there in my dress, like, 'I am really about to marry the most amazing man, and this is such a great experience.'" — Heidi Montag. [Mirror]
• "It's so mainstream now. When you look at people who are transmitting the news to you on television they all look like they're in porn, the way they're quaffed. It's really crazy. There's this like hyper-grooming thing going on now, men and women. I was never thinking, oh, what an outré thing to do to put a porn actor in a quote-unquote normal movie. I just thought she was interesting." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new flick, The Girlfriend Experience. [WSJ]
• "Well, if I had to be addicted to something, it would be sex!" — Hayden Panettiere. [Page Six]

• Kate Moss has signed on with Virgin Books to pen a presumably un-virginal "no holds barred" autobiography. Says publisher Sir Richard Branson, "It's going to make an exciting read." [Telegraph]

• Jack McCollough, the Proenza Schouler designer allegedly head-butted by Kiefer Sutherland at the Met, isn't pointing fingers. Sort of. A statement from his camp: "Anyone who knows Jack McCollough knows that he would not hurt a fly. All we can say at this point is that he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault and that the matter is in the hands of the authorities." Please cue 24 joke. [ElleUK]
• A detente in the fabled War of the Nebbishes? Quoth Dov Charney, "I have deep respect for Mr. Allen, who is a source of inspiration to me." Oddly enough, Woody didn't release a similar statement of mutual admiration for Charney's jersey bodysuits [WWD]
• Charney then referenced Larry Flynt. [Gothamist]
• Tell us: would you listen to "Diesel Radio?" Would you admit it if you did? [ElleUK]
• So is the Met Costume Institute's "Model as Muse" exhibit worth the hype? Judging by what Cathy Horyn says, we're...not sure. "You're tempted to snap into one of those incredible bump-and-grind poses suggested by tiny amounts of Spandex and squeal, "Hey, girlfriend!"" [NYT]
• Some - including Mo'Nique - feel Michelle Obama is saving retail fashion. Retail fashion has not gotten the memo. [Time]
• Bucking the trend, L'Oreal's sales rose incrementally in the last quarter; because everyone's shopping drugstore? [WWD]
• And Hermes is up, too! Cross your fingers. [WWD]
• 16-year-old Katie Fogarty, of runway-fall fame, takes a philosophical attitude: "Oh whatever brightens people's days." [Teen Vogue via New York]
• Dig it: Levi's is launching the "Give Them Hope Now" campaign to raise money for New York's Harvey Milk School, the high school dedicated to LGBT and questioning students. [AdAge]
• On a completely unrelated note, Marshalls' attempt to appeal to the kids seems to appeal to no one. "A 35-year-old cross-dressing man named Liam Sullivan portrays Kelly, a shy 17-year-old girl. Kelly, a popular YouTube character, is first shown at home greeting her visiting grandma (also played by Sullivan, natch)." Then they go to Marshall's and there's a musical number involving a mime and some maraca-shaking. [BrandFreak]
• Oddly enough, Tim Gunn was not the only reality fashionisto on Capital Hill this week: Nigel Barker also betook his fine self to D.C. to film scenes for a pediatric AIDS documentary, raising the city's handsomeness quotient by 48%. [Politico]
• Agyness Deyn is hawking mineral water. This is, apparently, highly prestigious. [The Sun]
• Erykah Badu has designed a label for a special bottle of Kiehl's body lotion involving "a trippy swirl of Afro curls, butterflies and ferns." Proceeds go to the Waterkeeper Alliance. [Dallas News]
• Timberland is branching into women's footwear, introducing 12 styles of shoe. [WWD]
• Also snubbing the economy, Derek Lam opened a ritzy new store in SoHo yesterday; both Rihanna and Wintour showed. [The Fashion Informer]
• Stella McCartney and Net-a-Porter have entered into a "mutually exclusive" online sales relationship. Get those eBay-trained trigger fingers ready! [FabSugar]
• Isaac Mizrahi has crafted a (pretty cute) cocktail dress from USA Todays. USA Today likes this. [USA Today]
• Meanwhile, here's Isaac on The -it's-not-a-Project-Runway-ripoff-we-swear, The Fashion Show: "As a judge, I am looking first for integrity. I can't tell yet about niches that people will fit into, but we have to train them to think properly and then think about the marketplace aspect. The difference with our show from other shows is that we have an audience that votes every week and they say some brutal things." [Yahoo]
• Cat fight! Gucci's suing Guess?, claiming the denim chain's "G" is a knockoff of the luggage chain's "G." Or as they'd have it, 'slavishly replicating' their designs. [News.co.au]
• Stephanie Seymour's divorce from "polo-playing husband" Peter Brant is rough. Quoth the supermodel, "It's OK. I'm sleeping in the maid's quarters...I'm doing the best I can to keep things amicable. I want to be the bigger person. But it's tough. He's playing very dirty with me." Or so says a "friend." [NY Post]
• Damien Hirst's Levi's - the fabled "most expensive jeans in the world" - are, how you say, hideosity personified, also look like you could make them at home if you've hung onto your splatter-art machine from the 80's. [InventorSpot]

• Kiefer Sutherland may be looking at a minor assault charge in NYC for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. The real problem?

He may have violated the probation of his L.A. DUI conviction. If so, it's back to the slammer. [People]

• According to this report, Kiefer Sutherland will surrender today and be charged with with third-degree assault for his "attack" on Jack McCollough. [NY Daily News, TMZ, E!]
• Kiefer will get a desk ticket for the headbutt — meaning he won't be jailed and he's free to travel. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Donald Trump intends to make a decision about Miss California Carrie Prejean very soon; additionally, the guy from the website which has been releasing "controversial" photos of her says he has more, and he intends to post them. [E!]
• The Carrie Prejean semi-nude pictures will "roll out" slowly. [CNN]
• Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, has filed legal papers asking the LAPD to state how the picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. If there was misconduct by law enforcement, Geragos will file a motion to have the case dismissed. [TMZ]
• Oprah wrote her Time 100 essay about Michelle Obama on her BlackBerry: "And then I went to hit the wrong button and the whole thing deleted! I went to hit 'Save' and instead I hit ... 'Oh my God! Oh my God! It's gone!' That ever happened to you? And then you can't remember - not one sentence you wrote." What did she do? "I couldn't even think for two days… I couldn't even, like, think of a sentence. I stared at the BlackBerry, then I hit every button trying to make it come back. I hit 'Options.' I did everything!" Then she started over. [New York Mag, Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay and Sam: Romantic relapse? A source says Sam might take LL back. They've been texting and "having visits." But another source says: "Lindsay plays stupid mind games saying she is being pursued by major celebrity actors. She has a lot of free time to play all these childish games. Sam knows in her head, life is truly better off without Lindsay." [People]
• This paper claims that Lindsay Lohan "chased her ex-lover across LA yesterday before finally tracking her down at 2am and demanding one of those horrible late-night discussions." [Daily Mail]
• Steve Zahn had to touch Jennifer Aniston's ass for the new flick, The Management, and says: "We had to do it so many times. It's so weird, very awkward and bizarre. [But] she's a pro, a gifted actor, humble, modest, a genuinely kind person. She has no agenda. She's just a really beautiful person." So wait: she's not desperate and lonely, sobbing over an empty uterus? Huh. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston says if there's gonna be a Friends movie, "they should hurry up." [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper: Flirting??!?!?!?! [Page Six]
• In the new Marie Claire, Beyoncé says that when she was singing for the Obamas in January, she was almost overcome: "I had to tell myself, 'They asked you to do this. You have to do a great job. This is their history. Calm down. Calm down… I barely made it. Literally seconds before the song started, I was crying like a 5-year-old." [People]
• In this video, some dude who works security at a Pennsylvania motel says Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 shows up frequently and was seen "romantically kissing" a woman who was not his wife. [Radar Online]
• "Twilight fans fell in love with Robert Pattinson as a vampire who makes girls swoon. But in Little Ashes, which opens on Friday, the actor explores a relationship that could reshape his heartthrob image." No one wants you to forget that he sexes a dude in this flick. No one. [Reuters>]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson lawsuit; this one involves a former publicist who claims, "Mr. Jackson has elected not to honor the financial obligations of our contractual relationship." She wants $44 million. [TMZ, Reuters]
• Reese Witherspoon is thought to be connected to a man named John Witherspoon, who left Scotland in 1768 and went on to witness the signing of the Declaration of Independence. A BBC series, A History Of Scotland, will tell his story. [Daily Express]
• Guess who's started working out with Tracy Anderson — Gwyneth and Madonna's trainer? Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]
• Are cops in Massachusetts targeting celebs in Massachusetts? What's with all the searches on Tom Brady and Matt Damon? [E!]
• Dr. Phil has fired 15 members of his staff. "It was a bloodbath… People who had worked together for years suddenly were unemployed," says a source. Ouch! Someone call Oprah. [Perez]
• WTF headline of the day: "When Harry Met Tranny." (Daniel Radcliffe had dinner with a drag queen.) [The Sun]
• JJ Abrams says of the original TV series Star Trek: "I remember appreciating it, but feeling like I didn't get it." He was not a Trekkie! "I had no idea there had been 10 movies! I still haven't seen them all." [Guardian]
• Speaking of Trek, Zachary Quinto couldn't do Vulcan fingers while filming and JJ Abrams had to glue his fingers together. [Page Six]
• Director Robert Rodriguez was working on an adaptation of Barbarella — with Rose McGowan playing the Jane Fonda role, naturally — but the project is now dead. No orgasmatron! [MTV]
• Jennifer Aniston, Holly Hunter, Elizabeth Banks, Catherine Hardwicke and cinematographer Petra Korner will be honored at the 2009 Crystal + Lucy Awards, presented by Women in Film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie Holmes will star in a thriller called Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, scripted by Guillermo del Toro. Xenu knows she could use a hit flick. [Variety]
• Robert De Niro and Edward Norton will star in an indie psychological thriller Stone, about a a correctional officer (De Niro) who is seduced by the wife of a convicted arsonist (Norton) up for parole. [Variety]
• Susan Boyle is now in the top 5 list of most watched viral videos, right under Soulja Boy and something called Achmed the Dead Terrorist. [NY Daily News]
• Megan Fox wants to be like George Clooney: "He's sarcastic, and he has a different girlfriend constantly. It's considered charismatic. He's like this James Bond, sexy dude. The older he gets, the better he gets. It's a double standard. To be outspoken, or different at all, is a problem for women. As soon as you curse or, God forbid, make some sort of sexual reference that's a joke, you're (labelled a party girl). They don't do that with men, so I feel it would be a lot easier." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "tattooed bisexual." The horrors. [The Sun]
• Liz Hurley thinks people look sexier in the country than in the city. Also, she likes to have sex on sheepskin rugs in front of fireplaces. [Daily Mail]
• In 2000, Jemima Khan's plane was hijacked; she says her hair turned white after the incident and she's had to dye it ever since. [Daily Express]
• A new biography reveals that Stephen King "spent most of the Eighties on an extended drug and alcohol binge which so fogged his mind that even today he cannot remember working on many of the books he wrote during that period." [Daily Mail]
• Ryan O'Neal says Farrah Fawcett has "lost her famous hair" from battling cancer. [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal also says: "It's a love story. I just don't know how to play this one. I won't know this world without her." [People]
• Trent Reznor is pissed at Apple, because a Nine Inch Nails iPhone app was rejected for having 'objectionable content." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Stanley Tucci's wife, Kate. [Page Six]
• Olympic silver medalist Sasha Cohen is returning to competitive figure skating. Will we see her in Vancouver for the winter Olympics? [AP]
• Stephanie Tanner Jodie Sweetin is being sued for not paying her Home Owner's Association fees. How rude! [Perez]
• James McAvoy, Elizabeth Banks, Laura Linney and Anna Friel will star in The Details, a flick about a a couple who discover an infestation of raccoons in their back yard. [Variety]
• Rare Marilyn Monroe photographs for sale — on eBay. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which film director could give Robert Pattinson a run for his money in the odor department? The big-time movie man smelled so badly during a recent shoot that even his actors couldn't stand to be around him!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Would I run for public office? A delegation of Democrats from Ohio asked me if I wanted to run for a Senate seat in 2004, and I said it was a tempting offer, but no. We already had an old actor in national politics, and it didn't work out so well. He shall remain nameless." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "The rumours aren't true. We aren't moving. So many people come up to me and say 'I hear you're moving.' We love America. We've been very happy here." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I've never changed my name officially. I never have and I never will. In my heart, I am still Ramon. I love the name. I would never give it up." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "I'd like to see Benson and Stabler get together...but I can't let that happen. Mariska [Hargitay] and I have been a wonderful, solid married couple now for 10 years-we see each other more than our families. It's just nice to get a different dynamic in there every once in a while." — Chris Meloni. [E!]
• "I'm looking for an encyclopaedia and a dictionary. A bit of the Boy Scouts Handbook. A person who is conscientious about the trail he leaves behind him. I'm attracted to intelligence and creativity and passion — and not necessarily the romantic kind. I want to learn from someone who is greedy for information and light and laughter and the whole world." — Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [Mirror via Glamour]
• "We know the people whose lives are on the line-those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender-will be there. But we need everyone there. Especially straight people." — Charlize Theron, who is encouraging Californians to attend a Meet In The Middle For Equality rally in Fresno. [E!]
• "I'm a big fan of Tyra's! She is sexy. I mean, I don't really get obsessed with anyone, but Tyra is definitely hot." — Idris Elba. [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not fiddling about with myself. We're in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60 . This is the law of diminishing returns. The trick is to age honestly and gracefully and make it look great so that everyone looks forward to it." — Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]

• It's unclear why Kiefer Sutherland allegedly headbutted fashion designer Jack McCollough. Some say McCollough bumped into Brooke Shields, but his rep says, "he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault." [People]

• Brooke Shields' rep insists "nothing happened to her" and that "Jack did nothing inappropriate." Police plan to interview Shields and Sutherland. [E!]
• Carrie Prejean sent Keith Lewis, Co-Executive Director of Miss California USA, an email about the topless pictures of her on the internet. She wrote, "This was when I was 17 years old. I was a minor. It was when I was first getting into the modeling world, being naive, and young. I shouldnt (sic) have taken the photo of me in my underwear. There are no other photos of me. This was the only one I took." But, TMZ says someone sent them four pictures over the weekend, but they didn't publish them because her rep said she was only 17. Lewis responded, "I'm absolutely stunned. This completely changes things for us. Yesterday we thought she had explained things accurately. We need to revisit this issue with her." [TMZ]
• As Carrie Prejean suggested in her statement on the topless photos yesterday, her rep says, "It's not a semi-nude pose because she's modeling for lingerie." That would mean she has not violated her Miss California contract that says she may not pose nude or semi-nude. [TMZ]
• Deanna Hummel, the woman whose brother told Us that she's having an affair with Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8, says it's not true. "My brother is making this all up," Hummel says. "He has no credibility ... I can't even stomach the lies he's saying about me. My brother is very shady," says Hummel. "He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He's on probation right now." [People]
• Earlier this week two bystanders were injured in a car crash stunt on the set of the Nicholas Cage movie Sorcerer's Apprentice in Times Square. Last night, the crew crashed into a parked car when swerving to avoid a taxi and while filming in Brooklyn a fire broke out at a cleaner's and parked production trucks may have blocked firefighters. Gothamist asks, "How many people have to be hospitalized before Nic Cage's reign of terror ends?" [Gothamist]
• Tyler Perry's alleged stalker, Dawne Wilson, was indicted yesterday on a felony aggravated stalking charge. She will be arraigned tomorrow. [TMZ]
• Today Tyra Banks told Rachel Ray that she's glad she lost prom queen in high school, because otherwise she might have become "a bigheaded bitch." [E!]
• Paris Hilton is being sued by movie producers who say she didn't do enough to promote the film Pledge This!, which subsequently bombed. When being questioned about her cell phone usage, Hilton said, "I've never looked at my phone bill in my entire life," adding that she has no idea who does pay the bill. "With my phone I never know, because I lose it all the time," she testified. "I probably get a new cell phone like every two weeks." [The Smoking Gun]
• Judd Apatow said in order to secure a PG-13 rating for his film Year One, he had to cut a joke about "a certain character who could put a part of his anatomy in his own mouth. I don't think you can say that online. It's not one of the main characters. We removed that. It was definitely one of our favorite jokes." [NY Magazine]
• Michelle Obama filmed her Sesame Street appearance yesterday and said, "I think it's probably the best thing I've done so far in the White House." The Daily Mail pointed out that she's met the Queen. We still don't see anything wrong with Michelle's statement. [Gawker]
• Here's a list of 10 famous people who have been banned from entering the U.K., including Martha Stewart, Snoop Dogg, and Barack Obama's half-brother. [Mental Floss]
• The Associated Students of the University of Arizona are almost one million dollars in debt from putting on a concert featuring Jay-Z and Kelly Clarkson. The students gave away 4,000 tickets assuming they would make up the money they paid the performers from advertising sales, but due to the recession the ad revenue didn't come pouring in. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Garner co-wrote an editorial on the Huffington Post to advocate for early childhood education on behalf of Save the Children. [HuffPo]
• Jennifer Garner credits her sister Melissa with her success. "If I'm totally honest, I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for the fact that I have this bigger-than-life, incredible older sister," says Garner. "She's beautiful, and she was valedictorian, got a 1600 on her SATs and was the head majorette. I was just the middle kid, kind of looking for attention. So that's what drove me, I think, to do things she wasn't doing." [The Independent]
• Now The Daily Mail is attacking Gwyneth Paltrow for suggesting in her GOOP newsletter that people should use natural beauty products, which seems pretty unfair. [Style]
• There are so many X-Men spinoff movies in the work it's hard to keep track. After X-Men Origins: Wolverine's big opening weekend, it has been announced there will be a sequel to that film starring Hugh Jackman, and Ryan Reynold's character Deadpool will get his own film. Fox is also working on a X-Men Origins film about Magneto and another called X-Men: First Class by O.C. creator Josh Schwartz. [E!]
• You can watch the new U2 music video for "Magnificent" here: [Rolling Stone]
• Kylie Minogue will perform in six North American cities this fall, in her first concert tour of the continent. [People]
• MTV Movie Awards host Andy Samburg made a fake "Best Fight" nomination video starring Will Arnett and Bill Hader. Watch it here: [Video Gum]
• Food critic Gael Greene Tweeted the a TV pilot based on her memoir is in production. She said, "Uma Thurman is standing by to play me." [Eater]
• South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are big Monty Python fans. "I'd love to meet John Cleese - he is a legend. The real struggle is to find the story," says Stone, "We don't set out to offend. We always do - but that's not the starting point." [The Daily Express]
• Katy Perry says that three years ago she and her boyfriend at the time got "fake married" in Las Vegas. She explains, "We took all the pictures with the minister, with the fake cake, in the fake chapel and got a fake marriage certificate. We went and bought a wedding dress and a suit at a thrift store, and scanned the pictures and the certificate to my family members, my manager at the time [and] totally freaked the shit out of them." [People]
• The Barnsley House hotel in the Cotswolds, which celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Elizabeth Hurley, and Nicole Kidman have stayed in, is for sale as debts have put the company that owns it out of business. [The Guardian]
• Tom Hanks has produced three of the past five films he starred in. He said, "I'm certainly not in it for the business. I mean, it's not like I need the job. I guess, if the truth be told, I didn't want to be at the mercy of the marketplace. I don't want to have to wait for the phone to ring to say, 'You now get to create something.' As an actor I am always waiting for my luck to run out. Now, I'm very lucky that, as yet, that hasn't happened, but I'm very aware that, any time now, the marketplace could say, 'That's it, we're done with you.' If I am producing, I can create something every day and it's a darn sight more fun than woodworking or building a stereo." [The Telegraph]

[New York, May 6. Image via Splash]

• Rihanna was the big show-stopper at the Met Ball: Celebs cheered when she took the stage to perform. And! At an after-party, guess who RiRi was in deep convo with?

None other than Ms. Anna Wintour. Will someone be gracing the pages of Vogue very soon? [Gatecrasher]

• Have people stopped returning Lindsay Lohan's phone calls? Apparently Pharrell Williams had offered to help her revive her music career, she tells Interview: "He's an amazing guy. He's only been really kind to me whenever I've met him. He said, 'I'd love to make a great record with you, but I want to take you out of all the elements that you're used to. Let's go away. Let's go somewhere nice where you can be focused, and let's make an album there.'" Of course, she hasn't heard from him since and says: "Pharrell, please call me back!" [Daily Express]
• It seems that Kiefer Sutherland did indeed intentionally headbutt Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough, who allegedly knocked over Brooke Shields; Kiefer was coming to Brooke's rescue or something. Met Ball dramz! [TMZ]
• Brooke Shields' rep is saying "nothing happened to her" and "Jack did nothing inappropriate. It's not clear what caused Kiefer to do what he did." [TMZ]
• A source says Kiefer Sutherland "was really drunk and he got accidentally bumped by McCollough. They started arguing and then he just head-butted him." Hmm. Kiefer's been arrested for DUI twice. [Page Six]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us magazine is confirming that star of Jon & Kate Plus 8 Jon Gosselin, 32, has been having an affair with third grade school teacher Deanna Hummel, 23. [Just Jared]
• Amy Winehouse's dad is kicking "freeloading pals" out of her hotel room in St. Lucia — her two friends Violetta and Thalia were having "all-day boozing sessions" on Amy's dime. A source says: "Amy performs for the first time in ages at the St Lucia Jazz Festival this week. Mitch knows she has to get it right." [The Sun]
• Paula Abdul is saying pain killers are to blame for when she would "get weird." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Madonna is planning a concert in St. Petersburg, Russia, but local authorities are calling it a "natural disaster" and want "guarantees that there will be no blasphemy." Ha! [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham wears her sunglasses at night. In the rain. [The Sun]
• Excellent news: Mindy Kaling has a new deal with NBC; she'll continue to write for and appear on The Office next season while simultaneously developing a comedy in which she would also star. She says: "This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world." [Variety]
• Holy gray T-shirt! These pictures of Simon Cowell's new £15million mansion which looks over the Hollywood Hills are absolutely stunning. [Daily Mail]
• In a deposition regarding a lawsuit that Paris Hilton didn't do enough to promote 2006 box office bomb Pledge This, Paris says she promoted the flick "any chance I got." Her lawyer says, "She's the single busiest person on the planet." [AP]
• "Robert Pattinson 'baffled' by fans." [Mirror]
• The weight watchers have moved from Jessica and Lindsay to the King of Pop: Michael Jackson has allegedly been warned that he is "too thin" and needs to gain about 20 lbs before his 50 live shows in the UK. [The Sun]
• Details on Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard's wedding! It took place in a cloister of a convent that's a luxury bed and breakfast in Brindisi, Italy; Jake and Reese were there; guests mingled in the garden, which features a pool, wines from the nearby town of Lecce were served. [People]
• Oprah's Twitter stunt of offering everyone in America a free chicken dinner: Newsworthy. [Time]
• Speaking of Ms. Winfrey, you knew this would happen: Susan Boyle will be on Oprah. [Daily Express]
• Yesterday was Chris Brown's birthday; he turned 20 and it was "low-key." [People]
• Mia Farrow is ten days into her hunger strike for Darfur. A few days ago she said: "At this point I don't think about food. I am weaker and I am mostly in bed. I am clear-minded. I sleep less." She also says: "No one voted for President Obama with more excitement and passion than I did, but he's really been lagging and the people of Darfur can't wait." [Guardian]
• Mia Farrow is documenting her fast on YouTube. [Page Six]
• Joel Madden went on a Twitter rant after he and baby Harlow were surrounded by photographers at an airport: "Let me just say shame on any magazine or blog that post pics of us in the miami airport. The photographers were acting like animals. it was the first time i've ever seen my child scared. Not cool for any parent to see. At least in LA they gave us some space. These guys were sticking flashes in her face and bumping in to us and yelling. The most unnecessary force i've ever seen." [Perez]
• Village Voice columnist Michael Musto says Miss California USA once posed with "trannie extraordinaire" Amanda Lepore. He asked Amanda about it, but she says: "I don't remember meeting her. You know how many pictures I take!" Of Carrie Prejean's pageant answer, Ms. Lepore says: "That was stupid. She could never make a career in TV. Gays monopolize everything! She's a dummy! Now she's trying to have churches help her. That doesn't sound promising. But at least she has big tits. She can marry a high roller and have miserable kids that hate her." Musto adds: "All thanks to opposite marriage!" [Village Voice]
• Unfake my heart: A Las Vegas entertainer faces fraud charges for impersonating Toni Braxton. [AP]
• Back in the '90s, Bono wrote a poem about Elvis; it will be broadcast on the UK's Radio 4 on May 13. [The Sun]
• Rachel Weisz will star in an indie political drama, The Whistleblower, which is based on the true story of a female cop from Nebraska who serves as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia and exposes a United Nations cover-up of a sex trafficking scandal. [Variety]
• Will Ferrell is in talks to star in a comedy called Neighborhood Watch, directed by the guy who did Wedding Crashers. [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz plays the mother of a sick child in My Sister's Keeper, and although she appears bald in the film, didn't shave her head: She only needed to be bald for one day of shooting. [LA Times]
• Kate Walsh's divorce continues to be a mess. [TMZ]
• Debbie Matenoppoulos will get $3,595 per month in spousal support from her ex, Jay Faires. She currently lives in the couple's home and is responsible for paying all expenses, including the mortgage. [Radar Online]
• Shimmy shimmy ya: Ol' Dirty Bastard will be memorialized in an upcoming documentary and a series of tribute albums, all produced by his cousin Raison Allah Iceman. [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which very taken Oscar winner has been sending lots of flowers to a pretty fashion publicist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "There are many duos we wanted to draw from. Something as eccentric as The Odd Couple to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Withnail and I and Laurel and Hardy. It's the kind of friendship you can only have with someone of the same sex, a person you adore but who infuriates you." — Jude Law on the relationship between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in Guy Ritchie's new flick Sherlock Holmes. [USA Today]
• "There's tons of stuff in my name. I mean, if I told you how many Facebook pages have my name on it, you wouldn't believe it. But I am going to join Facebook. I've been doing the MySpace thing a long time and I realize a lot of people are doing Twitter, I just don't want to know what people are doing every single second of their day. I find it a little invasive, but people are into it. To each their own. I don't have the desire to send out messages all day long. That's not me. I'd rather be doing something else." — Zach Braff [Time]

• Kiefer Sutherland allegedly head-butted Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough so hard at a party after the Met gala last night that he broke his nose. It's unclear whether the headbutt was intentional. [NY Magazine]

• Lindsay Lohan was spotted flirting with Jared Leto at a party where The Hills was filming. "Jared came over to Lindsay's table to get her, and then they walked into the MTV suite together," says a source. "Inside the private suite, Jared pinned Lindsay against the wall and they looked superflirty. He was whispering in her ear, and their bodies were close together." [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan defended her weight, saying, "I've been eating enough." But a source says she has a bigger problem. "She takes Adderall all the time," the source said. "She gets jittery because of the way the pills affect her. It's a major reason why she's losing weight." [Us]
• Gloria Allred has teamed up with the child-star watchdog group A Minor Consideration to file a petition requesting that a guardian be appointed to make sure that Nadya Suleman's kids are treated well and get a fair share of the proceeds if they are featured on a reality show. [Yahoo]
• Suleman responded: "I feel like as though many, many, many, many people in this society are trying to distract me from taking care of my babies. And I'm gonna continue to live in my baby bubble with my kids. And whoever wants a piece of me or the babies, keep on trying." [Radar]
• When asked why she hasn't been typecast as a mom, Marlee Matlin said, "I've never avoided it. I've just not been asked. I did play a mother on CSI: New York but she was nineteen! I'd love to play the mother of young kids as I do in real life! Maybe I can do the story of the Octomom! Hahaha!" [Babble]
• The Miss Universe Organization sent a cease and desist letter to the National Organization for Marriage because NOM used footage from the Miss USA 2009 pageant in their anti-gay marriage commercial. [TMZ]
• Leona Lewis has fled her Hollywood mansion after six days because, as a friend says, "Leona had just gone to the shops to pick up some bits and pieces and was followed all the way back home by this man. She was completely unsettled by this and was pretty relieved to get back to the house safely. But when she looked out of the window later the man was still there, staring right at her. It freaked Leona out big time. She feared she was being stalked." [The Mirror]
• Ola Ray, the woman who starred as Michael Jackson's girlfriend in the Thriller video is suing him because she says she hasn't been paid royalties from the video. [TMZ]
• Cameron Diaz has reportedly dumped Paul Sculfor. "They have fallen out of love. They didn't seem to find time for each other anymore," says a source. "Paul is not too enamored by Los Angeles and wants to be where his friends are. Cameron thought she could settle in England but missed her old life too much. The romance just died." [Hollywood Rag]
• Next week NBC will air a two-hour special called Farrah's Story about how Farrah Fawcett is coping with cancer. [Yahoo]
• Like Jay-Z, Rihanna laughed when one of the paparazzi asked her if Chris Brown is responsible for Swine Flu. [TMZ]
• Jill Zarin of The Real Housewives of NYC says there was so much confrontation in the upcoming reunion special that it had to be split into two hour long shows. She says, "I picked a fight with everybody. I called everyone out. There were definitely things that I challenged people on to be honest about. The only one who I didn't really [challenge] is Bethenny because Bethenny and I sort of see things the same way. And Bethenny has a very sharp memory. I would never go up against Bethenny's memory. And anytime anyone does, they've very sorry they did." [People]
• Brooklyn Decker, who married Andy Roddick last month says that though being with Roddick is "amazing," being married "feels the same. It's the same as being engaged, it's the same as dating." [People]
• Lady Gaga says, "I was very humbled that Madonna came to the show ... And I had been hearing all week that she was going to come, and I was like, 'Oh, OK,' and I didn't want to talk about it or tell anyone 'cause I thought it was kind that she would want to come at all." [MTV]
• Victoria Principal has filed a lawsuit in response to her maid suing her. Principal admits that she pulled a gun on the maid, but said she only did it after the maid threatened her, injured her dog, and flew into a rage, destroying her back door. [TMZ]
• This article is about how everyone's offering to give Susan Boyle a makeover and features a horrifying pictures of Boyle's head Photoshopped onto a topless photo of Kate Moss. [The Sun]
• On a radio show, Marie Osmond said she supports her lesbian daughter even though she is a Mormon, and added that she supports gay marriage. You can listen to the broadcast here: [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell said judge Kara Dioguardi will be back on American Idol next year, even though he doesn't like the four guest format. "There's less time for us to talk. One week literally we couldn't talk, so 10 minutes before the show started they said, ‘Oh by the way you can't talk for half the show,'" Cowell said. "It's rather like saying in a singing competition to the singers, half of you can't sing. It was just crazy." [People]
• The band Iron Maiden is suing makers of the comic book Iron and the Maiden because according to the lawsuit, the "confusingly similar" name is a ploy used to profit from the band's name. [TMZ]
• Dom DeLuise passed away last night in his sleep in a L.A. hospital at the age of 75. His family released a statement saying, "It's easy to mourn his death, but easier to remember a time when he made you laugh." [TMZ]
• Tilda Swinton says of playing an alcoholic in her new film Julia, "I'm so aware very often when you see alcoholism in films, people tend to emphasize something that I don't really recognize in the alcoholics I know and love, which is a kind of loser quality. I don't think of alcoholics as losers, particularly. Alcoholics tend to number the most energetic and fantastic people I know. So I was always thinking it would be nice to look at that kind of portrait." [Reuters]
• Tori Amos says a fan once told her, "I went up to Madonna and I told her how much she meant to me." Amos says: "She's sitting there confessing this to me a couple of years ago and I'm thinking Stupid! ... I've become like Mother Confessor and she's sitting there with me in the British Airways first class lounge and I'm thinking how the fuck did I end up with this while she's having a hang-over and she says, "I just have to tell you…so I say to Madonna, ‘You have meant so much to me and to my career…'" And I'm just waiting for it and she says, "Madonna just looks at my shoes and says, ‘Those are so last season.'" [Out]