Jezebel 
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New York, 8:31 PM
Sun Dec 20
20 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/15/09
11/13/09
11/13/09
11/13/09
I think this is it. If only we could make everybody understand that your virginity is by NO means tied to any sort of honor...
Also, I've always been bothered at the fact that losing your virginity is not so much being dishonored yourself, but it's that you're dishonoring the poor men in charge of you. How darling. #childmarriageindia
11/13/09
11/13/09
Story of Dinah." Dinah can't go out and lose her virginity because it's not hers. It belongs to her father since she's his proprietey. The matter of importance in the story isn't if Dinah was raped or not, it's that Jacob's (her father) propriety was violated.
11/13/09
11/13/09
11/13/09
*Every day
11/13/09
Seriously, WTF India? The fact that the caste system is being used as a rape defense shouldn't surprise me, but somehow still does. #childmarriageindia
11/13/09
11/13/09
I like diverse culture, but hey India, the caste system is fucking stupid. It's alive and well in North America never mind India. #childmarriageindia
11/13/09
11/13/09
I thought the caste system was gone with the wind too, until I realized all my Indian-American friends (who all come from affluent, well-educated backgrounds) are Brahmins or Kshatriyas.* The lower castes aren't the ones with the resources to make it into the top universities and then get jobs as doctors or engineers in America.
*"Priest" and "warrior" castes, for those not as familiar with Indian culture. The two highest castes. #childmarriageindia
11/13/09
There is also laws in lots of places in India which are affirmative action but for low caste students. Mandating that a certain percentage of seats are only given to low caste students.
Your friends being of similar caste has to do more with their family's social circle. I know tons of poor Brahmins and Kshatriyas (just like I've seen very dark Brahmins, and my grandmother is as light as most 'white' women in the US).
Sadly, America isn't as good as it use to be in trying to break the economic ties of professionals. In recent years more students are limited into entering medical and law school from how much money their family makes. #childmarriageindia
11/13/09
11/13/09
11/13/09
It's nice to see that the caste system is not as rigid as I thought it was, though apparently there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. #childmarriageindia
11/14/09
11/13/09
11/13/09
11/13/09
To be honest, I have to say after seeing it, I actually gained a new respect for her. She didn't come across as deluded, or insane or some bat-shit crazy mother. Yes, she clearly has issues regarding her want to have even 6 kids as a single mother, but she didn't ask for 8 more nor did she expect it. And she seems to deal with it incredibly well. To see her in this zoo of a house, kids screaming everywhere and yet she stays level-headed and sane, it's quite something.
I still think the children will be awfully fucked up and will all need therapy, I think none of them gets enough attention etc. But I do also think she is truly doing the best she can. Really, her mother (who is a complete tyrant), the weird sperm-donor 'friend' and the doctor who implanted her with 6 embryos rather than the legal 2 should all be examined as well. She didn't get to this situation on her own, which is something people tend to forget. She didn't want 8 kids and even if she did, the chances of 6 embryos all surviving and 2 of them becoming twins is incredibly unlikely.
Whatever the case, I'm dying to see how these children turn out. Particularly the eldest, Elijah, who is literally oiling up the wheels to go off the rails any day now... #octomom
11/13/09
However I'm wondering why this article keeps mentioning squalor? I thought her house was surprisingly clean and neat considering the 14 kids and 5 adults in it everyday. The kids are clean, well dressed and had a tonne of fancy toys.
I know parenting involves more than just that, but she seemed to be doing well on the practicalities to me. #octomom
11/13/09
Of course, had she had a responsibly doctor, it wouldn't be an issue because he wouldn't have transferred 6 and would have explained the risks to her. But she doesn't get a pass on that point. What she did was very reckless and she's lucky that all of the babies lived and none seems to have serious issues. #octomom
11/13/09
11/13/09
11/13/09
I mostly blame the doctor - he's since been expelled from the ASRM for his practices. I'm not trying to condemn her, I don't think she's evil, but I do think she was willfully ignorant, at best. And on a personal level as someone who's done IVF, people like her who abuse it make me insane, because they lead to things like half-assed legislation (see, Georgia) seeking to limit other people's ART choices. #octomom
11/13/09
11/13/09
It's not like stuffing 6 in there increases the chance of any single embryo turning into a baby. An embryo will either continue to develop, or not. Multiple transfers would have been just as effective. She still could have used up all of her embroys, just in 3 transfers rather than one. And frozen transfers, while not cheap, are not prohibitively expensive. #octomom
11/13/09
I don't think she should be judged.
Society's reaction toward her decision reinforces the idea that children are luxuries that only middle class and upper class people are entitled to. We view children as status symbols and extensions of ourselves, instead of living creatures that start off small but will eventually take care of us all.
As long as our society remains child-unfriendly (as in, childcare is too expensive, working mothers get punished in the workplace for being mothers, people are judged if they have kids 'too soon' or wait 'too long'), this endless cycle of judging mothers will never end.
All loving mothers should be appreciated, no matter their circumstances. #octomom
11/12/09
It reminds me more of New York magazine in its design, now, and it has that same expose-a-celebrity motive now. Bummer. I'll stick with the NY Times for its newspaper and web slideshows, but the blogging and new "accessible" (my own assessment) is just a little too much.
It's only problematic for me because it's become easier to read. I mean, these pieces about actresses as overturned stones with crawly bugs underneath are well-written and eloquent, but after I'm done.... well, that was it?
Does anyone else feel this way? Maybe what they say is true, the Times has always been written for an 8th grader's reading level. I used to resent that, but now I'm just a little pissed at it. #octomom
11/12/09
Love, though central to motherhood, is also blinding. The right decision would have been for her to give these kids up to well-suited families. That would have been the best thing she could have done for them. #octomom
11/13/09
11/12/09
11/13/09
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11/12/09
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11/12/09
11/14/09
11/14/09
11/14/09
News flash: it's fine for grandparents, neighbours, friends, older siblings, aunts, cousins, nannies, teachers, etc. to have a hand in raising kids. That is the way it used to be done, before some people decided a woman had to be shackled to her progeny until death. Actually, it's even fine for kids to be on their own every now and then.
As for "passing on the responsibility," you are confusing daily chores with the much more serious business of parenting, namely providing the kind of moral, social, and emotional structure and support that children need to become mature and well-adjusted adults. Big sis or bro can watch over the baby of an evening, but the responsibility for both children remains the parents'. #octomom
11/16/09