Let It Be (But Don't Let It Go, Because I Can't Hear That Again)

Recently, a friend asked me for some parenting advice (RAISE YOUR STANDARDS, PEOPLE) in regards to her young son, who will be attending a family wedding soon and wants to wear something "pretty and sparkly like his sisters." She knows my 6-year-old son is forever in a dress of some variety at my house, despite a 36-hour… » 4/15/14 12:33pm Tuesday 12:33pm

Oscar Weekend Madness: Kids Recreate Scenes From Nominated Films

Yes, I know, their parents probably helped but you can't deny how adorable these kids look recreating scenes from all the oscar nominated films (even Wolf Of Wall Street which is not appropriate for children). Check out that computer behind miniature Jordan Belfort. Dude, can you get Number Crunchers on that? Original » 3/01/14 2:38pm 3/01/14 2:38pm

WTF: Utah Elementary School Seizes Lunches from Indebted Kids

Today in What the Ever Loving Fuck: School officials at Uintah Elementary in Salt Lake City, Utah seized upwards of 40 students' cafeteria-issued lunches and threw them in the trash this Tuesday — all because the kids had unpaid balances on their lunch accounts. Yes, they punished children too young to have any real… » 1/30/14 12:00pm 1/30/14 12:00pm

Hilarious 8-Year-Old Writes an Epic Amazon Review

I'm kind of lukewarm on the "wacky Amazon review" school of comedy at this point—the first umpteen iterations were amusing, but after so much manufactured wackiness you start to crave some genuine wackiness, you know? That's why I can't stop reading this Amazon review of Ramona Quimby, Age 8, which appears to have been… » 1/06/14 3:30pm 1/06/14 3:30pm

These Cookie Stand Entrepreneurs Are the Most San Francisco Kids Ever

These two girls in the upscale Noe Valley neighborhood of San Francisco are lightyears ahead of America's unenlightened children, who toil over crappy lemonade stands, mixing Country Time powder into a vat of lukewarm water with vague ambition for future riches. For starters, they've already figured out how to prey on… » 1/05/14 3:30pm 1/05/14 3:30pm

Adorable Kid Busts Out a Nonsense Solo During Christmas Pageant

This Christmas pageant seems to be going about as well as children's pageants can go when all of a sudden one kid — who mysteriously remains off-camera (in the shadows, as it were, like a super villain) — busts out an inarticulate solo, suddenly making the pageant awesome. Or at least worth the small amount of iPad… » 1/05/14 1:00pm 1/05/14 1:00pm

An Incredibly Touching Father/Daughter Tribute to Mom Who Died Young

A widowed father, in a tribute to his late wife who died of cancer at 31, staged a photoshoot with the couple's young daughter that's as gorgeous as it is sad as a sort of "farewell" to the house the family once shared. Seriously, grab the onions and a large knife; you're going to need a solid cry alibi to explain away… » 12/17/13 6:15pm 12/17/13 6:15pm