American children are a bunch of spoiled brats. You've likely heard the refrain repeated for years now, and new verses are always being added. A couple years ago Elizabeth Kolbert's widely shared New Yorker article "Spoiled Rotten" remarked that, "With the exception of the imperial offspring of the Ming dynasty and…
Over the past week, an unnamed Gawker Media dad has been bringing his four-year-old into the office. While you might (somewhat rightfully) be thinking of us as a group of cold and unfeeling bloggers, this little girl has been warming our hearts and making us laugh continually with her adorable and zany antics. The…
Willow Smith might be the famous daughter of a celebrity but she's also a 14-year-old girl full of colliding hormones. You know, like we once were. On Thursday, her dad Will Smith stopped by David Letterman—who's still on, amazing—and talked about the perpetual Teenage Girl Independence Day going on at home and how…
It's not an exact science, but there are little ways you can tell if you're carrying a child who is college-bound. One kick to the uterus every now and then with no discernible rhyme or reason? Eh. Roundhouse kicks to the bladder every hour on the hour? You've got yourself an overachiever.
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Kids acting up? Not getting the grades they should be or listening to you when it's time to wash the dishes? Well, if you live in Snellville, Georgia, you don't have to punish them with time outs or idle threats of giving them to the bad man who will sell all of their organs for below-market value. You can send them…
It'd be wonderful if you could just say to children, "People might look different and come from different places, but we're all equal and should be treated the same" and leave it at that. But if recent news has taught us anything, it's that reality is not so simple, and we need to face the topics of race and racism…
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Remember when Santa brought your friend Julie a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas and didn't bring you shit and when you talked to Julie about it she said "well maybe Santa just loves me more" and you had to tell that little brat that actually Santa doesn't exist and she's just a spoiled little monster? Anyway, watch some of…
The moment your new baby comes into your arms, a whole new set of emotions rushes in—pride, joy, wonderment, fear, and, yes, guilt. Because everything you do or don't do as a guardian of this child is all your fault forevermore.
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In Wednesday's episode of Dr. Phil, the "older, less attractive" and "bald" host subjects himself to Salty Teen opinions of himself in an attempt to get said group of Salty Teens, skilled in the art of social bullying, to lay down their swords. Instead, the intervention kind of goes off the rails.
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It goes "snippity, snippity, snippity snop" and you will never be able to get it out of your head. Not even when you learn that the translated lyrics are: "The vagina is cool, you better believe it, even on an old lady. It just sits there so elegantly."
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What a thing to wake up to on a Monday morning! A touching love story that will alternately make you want to weep happy tears and then also retch out the rest of all the red wine you "accidentally" drank while watching The Golden Globes last night! Here it is, the cutest "kids getting married" story of ALL TIME.
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You know that moment right when you stop thinking what you're doing is really cool and suddenly realize what you're doing is actually a really, really bad idea? This dog is having one of those moments.
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On Tuesday, we asked you for your opinion on children attending and participating in wedding ceremonies and receptions. The results are in and holy cow, you heartless monsters hate children.
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This video is so sweet it will probably give you a cavity the first time you watch it.
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Welcome to Pop The Question, a weekly space to dissect every aspect of wedding madness. Each Tuesday, we'll ask a question (sometimes there might even be a poll!), you'll share answers and stories, and then we'll bring you the best of the bunch on Thursdays. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll fly into a total rage…
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"Hey, where'd that kid get a Hitler doll?" "Why are you shaving a baby?" "PUT DOWN THAT GRENADE THIS INSTANT!"
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A Nebraska man has created a pretty successful art business, thanks to Tumblr and the musings of his three-year-old daughter. Spaghetti Toes is an adorable Tumblr that highlights a dad's attempts to capture the magic of those little kid-isms every parent knows and loves. Via Laughing Squid:
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Parents are hopping mad about a Play-Doh accessory that sounds and kind of looks like a very uncomfortable plastic dildo. What, the parents wonder, are they supposed to tell their kids when they ask why the toy is shaped like a big hard dick with an honest-to-goodness coronal ridge? Won't somebody thing of the…
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Let's say you have a couple kids who have been acting way too ungrateful, seriously entitled, and majorly disrespectful this year. You want to teach them more gratitude but you don't know how to do it. Guess what? Christmas is just around the corner. Try canceling it. It's easy!
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Pink Flamingos is arguably one of the dirtiest movies ever, so remaking it with kids is more than just a bold move, but John Waters was up for the challenge: He censored the movie and shot it with adorable munchkins doing (some of) the dirty things Divine and company did in the original.
