There are so many inaccuracies, statements pleading for correction, and things just plain wrong with Kevin Myers' Irish Independent opinion piece that I almost don't know where to begin. Ha ha, that's a lie! Let me start with the beginning:

• John Malkovich has a clothing line. Who knew? His collection, branded Technobohemian, is actually the actor's second foray into fashion, he launched a line called Uncle Kimono in 2002. We hope his Milan show models all wear Malkovich masks. [WWD]