In today’s Tweet Beat Nicole Richie harks back to her Simple Life days, Alicia Keys balls out in Paris and Kevin Jonas dispenses political advice.

In today's Tweet Beat, Kevin Jonas is keeping track of time, Tyra Banks gets a makeover and I guess Reese Witherspoon likes tacos.

In today's Tweet Beat, Kevin Jonas joined SnapChat, Laura Benanti makes an astute observation about Starbucks after dark and Patti Stanger has some bizarre Thanksgiving recommendations that don't involve loosening your pants and stuffing your face with pie.

In today's Tweet Beat, people are still still talking about Miley, to the point where Ryan Adams agreed with Sean Hannity about something (or not). There's also Kevin Jonas, who has decided to announce the sex of his child the weirdest way possible and Grimes, who feels the way some of us feel about all video games.

The systematic destruction of Kevin McAllister rolls cruelly on: Everyone knows that the second most irrefutable fact of the world, immediately below "water is wet," is that there is almost nothing worse than receiving a concerned phone call from an ex, as well-intentioned as they may be. Raise to the tenth power when…

Did you guys forget that Sarah Jessica Parker can do more than make weird constipated/thinking faces and stare at the computer screen of an outdated Mac? She's a triple threat, y'alls!

Hot off the presses: Local Woman Unable to Save Own Parents' Marriage With Romantic Crossover Ballads That Have Brought Love Into the Lives of Millions.

For days, a Facebook campaign has been asking Dark Knight Rises star Christian Bale to visit the Aurora shooting victims in the wake of last Friday's massacre ("I propose we should make enough noise asking Christian Bale to visit these kids in the hospital dressed in the real Batman outfit. They need to know Heroes…

Today in romantic, porn star Alex Torres — aka Voodoo – claims Lindsay Lohan paid him for sex and that the gruesome twosome went at it while her dear daddy Michael Lohan slumbered upstairs. Though this should be taken with a pinch of salt, and possibly a roofie, the sky-diving porn enthusiast [NSFW] insisted it was…

• At the Betty Ford Center, LiLo's also getting treatment for her Twitter addiction. Cutting her off from technology "allows her to concentrate on herself," says a source. [Page Six]

• Lady Gaga says she's decided "to be single at this point in my life because I don't have the time to get to know anybody. And you know what? It's OK. Even Lady Gaga can be celibate."

• Austrian Richard Lugner, a "quirky 77-year-old entrepreneur known for his young girlfriends and appearances on reality TV," has asked Lindsay Lohan to be his date for the Vienna Opera Ball next month.

• A former crew member of The Tyra Banks Show says that there was a high employee turnover rate at the show as Banks was a "diva" who "could be pretty difficult to work for." [Gatecrasher]

• The Pitkin County Department of Social Services is "aware" of Charlie Sheen's case, as an official explains to TMZ: "When there is a domestic dispute and children are present in the home, we are always notified." [TMZ]

• Jennifer Hudson may be pregnant again, only four months after her son was born. "Jennifer was in total shock when she found out she was having another baby," says a "friend," who claims she found out on December 10.

• George Clooney reportedly went on a date with Madonna after the singer split from Guy Richie, though the date was not a success, as Madonna kept making bad jokes and George "could not wait to get out of there." [ShowbizSpy]

• Jersey Shore stars The Situation and Pauly D are going Hollywood: They're looking for a condo in L.A.

• Robert Pattinson freaked out when a fan jumped out of a car at a red light and kissed him explaining, "My mom wouldn't pull the car over to let me out because I'm just getting over the swine flu…"

• Jon Gosselin is demanding TLC stop filming Jon and Kate. He posted a sign on his gate reading, "NOTICE: NO FILM CREW OR PRODUCTION STAFF FROM TLC IS PERMITTED ON THIS PROPERTY UNDER PENELTY [sic] OF TRESPASS. JOHNATHON [sic] GOSSELIN"

• This is not surprising: Nick Prugo, the 18-year-old accused of burglarizing Lindsay Lohan's house, was seen hanging out with Lindsay on the set of Labor Pains at least 10 times.