• Jennifer Aniston talked to Entertainment Weekly about the tabloid reports that she's knocked up with John Mayer's baby: "Oh my God, it's hysterical. It's almost going to take away the fun from actually being able to say one day, 'I'm pregnant!' Stop stealing my thunder, motherfuckers!" Plus: She wasn't thrilled that Vogue used that "What Angelina did was very uncool" coverline: "I was just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid. I was bummed. But you almost expect it. Big deal. Done. Next." [Yahoo News via E!]
• More from the EW cover story with Aniston: ''Everyone projects their thoughts on you. Everyone's got an opinion. I wish they didn't. I've gotten to the point where, if I focus on all of that stuff, I won't make a move, you know?" [EW]
• The prosecutor in the William Balfour trial alleges that the accused killed Jennifer Hudson's relatives because he was angry that his estranged wife was dating another man. Balfour has a long rap sheet full of drug offenses and car theft. A person from the neighborhood says: "He was always doing crazy [things], trying to carjack people." [USA Today, AP]
• As part of his Benjamin Button promotional obligations, Brad Pitt spoke to Larry King and talked about his mustache (it's for that Quentin Tarantino flick he's shooting right now), his kids ("Whenever they want to take over, we're ready"), and Barack Obama: "I think, overnight, we redefined what America's about. I couldn't be any happier and more hopeful for the — for America, for the upcoming — in the upcoming years." [CNN]

• Here's the entire Brad Pitt/Larry King transcript. It's interesting when Brad says, "I got to spend a few decades being idiotic and hell-bent and solipsistic, and everything else… I got time to get all that out of my system." And Larry asks, "You mean there was a wild Brad Pitt?" And Brad says: "I mean, wild in my book, yes. Yes, sure. I got away with a lot, Larry." [CNN]
• Madonna is taking Alex Rodriguez on tour with her in Brazil. Taking sand to the beach? [The Sun]
• It's good to be Oprah! She's taking her show to D.C. for the inauguration and has rented out the Opera House at the Kennedy Center to film her talk show the week of Jan. 20. "That's the place to be," she says, which means it is irrefutably true. [Time]
• Barbra Streisand is headed to D.C. for the Kennedy Center's Annual Honors gala on Sunday. Also being honored: Morgan Freeman, country star George Jones, The Who's Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey and choreographer Twyla Tharp. [Page Six]
• This report claims that Amy Winehouse gave her husband Blake Fielder-Civil a "farewell bonk" in the hospital before he went to jail. Apparently Blake "dashed" to Amy's bedside after failing his drug test, told her how sexy she looked, and, a source says, "It was obvious what went on." In a hospital bed. Then he zipped up his pants and went back to jail. [The Sun]
• A college class about Amy Winehouse?!? The singer's life is a music course at the University of the West of Scotland. Professor Allan Dumbreck says: "Amy Winehouse is a great example of the potential pitfalls in the music industry. She is recognised as a multi-award-winning great artist. But the by-product of that lifestyle can be stress and illness. We would look at how the industry is often not a supporter of longevity." [Telegraph]
• If you want to see Britney's "Circus" video, click away. What you'll see: Britney using her own damn perfume; people dancing in a circus ring; Brit and couple of lions yawning at each other. Christina Aguilera's circus-themed video was better. Also, does anyone really believe Britney is the "ring leader" of her show? [Pop Sugar]
• Britney "seemingly had no close friends on hand as she blew out her birthday candles" the other night in New York. Sniff. [Page Six]
• Another source says birthday girl Brit was "so out of it." [Rush & Molloy]
• Why did Kevin Federline talk to People about Britney? One source says: "He doesn’t do anything unless there is a financial motive behind it, period. There’s a fee connected to everything he does." Another source claims: "He’s been hounded for more than a year about telling his side of things. He’s just tossing a little out there in a place he trusts so that he can move on." Move on to what? [MSNBC Scoop]
• By the by, Britney's first husband, Jason Alexander, is in jail. [Star]
• Does Heidi Klum want Britney to be on Project Runway? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ooh, so as seen in Midweek Madness, Star claims that Jamie Lynn Spears had lipo while pregnant, but JLS is so angry about this "100% NOT true" story that she might sue. [TMZ]
• We should have seen this coming: Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen has a band. [Page Six]
• Balthazar Getty thinks Sienna Miller has been unfairly portrayed as a villain: "You can’t just point your finger at one person. Historically, women always get the short end of the stick." [The Sun]
• Katy Perry made a plaster cast of her boobs, so if you want to buy her rack, head over to the auction. It's for charity. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Kim Kardashian posed for Playboy once, and she might do it again! "Lately I have steered away from the sexier shoots, but it doesn't mean I'm afraid to be sexy or ashamed of that. I have no regrets." [People]
• Heidi Montag's mom on Heidi and Spencer's marriage: "I give it six months." [MSNBC]
• The Grammys will be handed out February 8 in L.A. Click for a complete list of the nominations: Lil Wayne got 8; Coldplay has 7; Jay-Z, Kanye West and Ne-Yo each scored six. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Dark Knight fans have casting picks for director Christopher Nolan: Johnny Depp as the Riddler and Angelina Jolie as Harley Quinn. [PR Newswire]
• Did Kathie Lee Gifford steal the idea for her "Everyone Has A Story" segment on the Today show from a musician who pitched the concept last year? [TMZ]
• Did you know that when Haley Joel Osment was busted for DUI at age 18, he vowed to stop drinking until he turned 21? He only has about four months to go. [Daily Express]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother was shot in the back of the head at his Beverly Hills home in an "execution-style" attack, but is clinging to life. [NY Post]
• Will Paris Hilton land the role of Tinker Bell in the Disney live-action movie??? [Page Six]
• Anne Heche is expecting her first child with boyfriend James Tupper. She just got over a custody battle with ex Coley Laffoon, over their 6-year-old son, Homer. [E!]
• Mark your calendars: March 12 will be the last episode of ER, ever. [LA Times]
• Hilary Swank will star in Resident, a thriller in which a doctor moves into a Brooklyn loft and becomes suspicious that her landlord is a stalker. [Variety]
• Magical Elves, the producers formerly behind Project Runway have moved on: The next project? A reality show about The Hills PR queen Kelly Cutrone, which would "showcase the nitty-gritty side of fashion publicity." Honestly? That woman is a character. This could be a hit. [Page Six]
• Simon Cowell was spotted hanging out with an ex-girlfriend, Jackie St. Claire. That's a name right out of a trashy novel, no? [Perez Hilton]
• Former Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland is big in Europe, according to an email that seems to have been sent out by someone trying to promote Kelly Rowland. [MollyGood]
• Katie "Jordan" Price says Dwight Yorke, the football player who fathered her son, Harvey, hasn't seen his kid in a year. Harvey is is partially blind and has a growth disorder; Jordan says: "I know Dwight's got another child now and he's focused on that one… I couldn't give a fuck about his girlfriend, or him, but I think he should take care of his son." [Perez Hilton]
• Phil Collins' 19-year-old daughter Lily is stunning! [Daily Mail]
• Jewelry formerly owned and worn by Hollywood screen legend Deborah Kerr: Up for auction! Her three-stone diamond engagement ring is pretty, sigh. [The Star]
• Sadie Frost is wearing underwear and stockings in an exhibition of photos, yawn. [The Sun]
• Tori Amos has a new record deal, with Universal: Her 10th album should be out in late spring 2009. [Yahoo News]
• Tim Robbins has fired CAA. Matthew Broderick and Greg Kinnear may leave CAA next. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Dear Hollywood, Why would you remake Romancing The Stone? Why? [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I think Sienna [Miller] might have been [treated unfairly]… It takes two to tango, man. You can't just point your finger at one person. Historically, women always get the short end of the stick….they're [Rosetta and Sienna] both very special people in my life." — Balthazar Getty. [Perez Hilton]
• "I just finished a couple of episodes, and I'll go back in the new year and do another one of those, and then we'll see what happens." — Jon Hamm, on playing Liz Lemon's love interest on 30 Rock. [AP]
• "I wasn't going to give up who I was before I had the baby. It's important to stay true to that as an example — also for my son to find out what his goals are, what he's passionate about doing, so it's sort of leading by example in that sense. It's a tough thing. I had a moment leaving him today to get ready for tonight of missing him, but every working mom goes through it. They know what it feels like." — Christina Aguilera, on the "balancing act" of parenthood and career. [AP]
• "Initially, I was very worried it would be difficult to concentrate [on the sex]. But Leo was fine with it, which relaxed me. And I never sensed Sam feeling awkward. Quite the opposite. He'd yell from the other room: 'Press your hand into her back more! And when you take her face, really grab it!' Maybe if it had been anyone else but Leo, it would have been weird. But we're not really like grownups. We're like two little boys." — Kate Winslet, on shooting Revolutionary Road, directed by her husband, Sam Mendes, and co-starring Leonardo DiCaprio. [Rush & Molloy]
• "Well, the pictures for W, you know, it's a really strange feeling. It's something Angie and I had to talk a lot about, especially with the birth of Shiloh. You know, these pictures were going to come out — these pictures are — you know, I'm talking about the pictures of the kids. There's a bounty on our heads. And these pictures are going to come out at some point. And they're going to be chasing us, and they're going to — they're going to go to the ends of the earth to get these photos. And we just thought, well, maybe we could — since there's such a bounty, and that bounty is so obnoxious, we could take that money and funnel it to something good. And that's what we decided to do. It's still a bit uncomfortable to do such a thing, but I know it's right in the end. And that was a decision we made. The W photos were just — we just didn't want to leave the house, so we just figured we'd do it ourselves, and had a good time doing it." — Brad Pitt. [CNN]

• K-Fed is opening up about his marriage to Britney in this week's People. " I never thought that I would get married but it wound up happening. That was a really, really, happy, exciting moment. I pretty much realized that I was giving my life to her, and I was doing it without question," the Fed says. [People]
• Are Kelly Ripa and longtime hubs Mark Consuelos dunzo? The National Enquirer says that the pair is separating. However, it is impossible to tell if Ripa is shedding silent invisible tears under that relentlessly perky facade. [Jossip]
• And get this: Ripa's rep denies all! The flack says, "There is no truth to the story. Their marriage continues to be quite healthy, and the National Enquirer should be ashamed for fabricating such an untruthful story." Isn't that what Madge's rep said six months ago? [People]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother, hairstylist Scott, was shot in the head in Beverly Hills earlier this week. He is in critical condition. [ET Online]

• James Franco is on the cover of this month's BlackBook wearing a leather jacket. He looks totally James Dean and not at all Jason Priestley. [Blackbook]
• Lance Bass thinks Britney is ready for a comeback, but adds, "I don't think she needs any advice from me." We concur! [People]
• Celine Dion was on CBS this morning, dishing about her frozen embryo. "Yes, we do have a frozen embryo," said the plucky French Canadian. "We'd love to extend the family," she continued. "I started to talk to Rene Charles about it. He said 'Can we have four and five?' So if we're blessed again, I will be very happy to come back and do another interview with you and talk about it. I will be the first one to be extremely happy." [CBS News]
• A-Rod will allegedly accompany Madonna on her trip to Brazil later this month for two performances in Rio. They're definitely Madariguez south of the equator. [Perez]
• So, Boy George is on trial for assaulting a male escort, and his lawyers are arguing that George was "too fat" to have perpetrated that crime. Could this case get any more tawdry? [Daily Mail]
• Bea Arthur will be inducted into the Television Hall of Fame on December 9th. I'm sure she'll thank us for being her friends, pals, confidantes, etc. [AP]
• The Gossip Girl producers loved Ed Westwick from the moment he read for the part of Chuck Bass. However, the network was not so pleased. "But he looks like a serial killer!" they protested. Lucky for us the producers won out. Also: the fictional GG kids will go to college next year in the show. [NYM]
• Speidi's wedding rings are literally the ugliest effing things we've ever seen. [TMZ]
• Pete Wentz says baby Bronx was a "happy accident." He tells Details, "I think that certain things happen for a reason in your life, and maybe it was time to put the wild child in a cage." [People]

As partially quoted in Dirt Bag this morning, Rolling Stone says:

Of all the things Britney has lost in the past year, it's the custody of her sons, Sean Preston, 3, and Jayden, 2, that has shaken her hardest. "Every time they come to visit me, I think about how they're such special people," says Spears, who currently sees the boys three days a week, with one overnight stay. "Like, they're going to preschool now! I went there to pick them up on Friday, and seeing them in their little classroom and seeing Jayden being bad or not listening? It's like, those are mine, and it's just crazy, you know what I mean?…Things haven't turned out like she imagined. "I didn't think my husband was gonna leave me," she says, deadpan. She laughs to break the tension. "Otherwise, I'd be with my babies 24/7. But since they're almost like twins, they both take care of each other. I think they look like me," she says, going from affectionate to bitter as she gets distracted by thoughts of Federline, whom she sees only when one of them is picking up the boys. "They don't look like their father at all," she continues. "And it's weird 'cause they're starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my kids."

From this, it sounds like Federline is giving the kids minimal attention and not caring if they act up or misbehave in class. Britney was run through the muck for being a terrible mother, even though it was obvious at the time that she was having severe mental issues. The tabloid media is always denigrating celebrity moms, but when was the last time you remember a celebrity dad being lambasted publicly?

Britney Returns [Rolling Stone]

• In her new documentary, in addition to all the stuff about Groundhog Day, Britney Spears also talks about Kevin Federline: "I think I married for the wrong reasons. Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the idea of [marriage and] everything." Knowing is half the battle! [Perez Hilton, NY Daily News]
• Watch promos for Britney's documentary. In one, she says, "I… look back and I think, I'm a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?" [Perez Hilton]
• Someone else says of Valkyrie: "The film just isn’t a thriller at all. It’s a bunch of white guys in Nazi uniforms." And yes, Tom has an American accent. [MSNBC]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson: on the rocks. Last night in London, LL danced with her ex, Calum Best, whom Moe used to call Calum Worst. Anyways, Sam was pissed and stormed off in a huff. Lindsay was seen with tears in her eyes. Sniff. [The Sun]

• Tom Cruise gives the infamous Heil Hitler salute in his new flick, Valkyrie, and some find it hilarious. "It’s an unsettling scene but you almost start to laugh," a source says. "His character is resisting it but you never forget it’s Tom Cruise saying 'Heil Hitler.' It’s funny and shocking at the same time." [MSNBC]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes celebrated their second anniversary a day early at home in Los Angeles with daughter Suri, 2, as well as Isabella, 15, and Connor, 13, yawn yawn yawn. [People]
• Beyoncé is still in shock about dancing with Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live: "I still can't believe he did that. He was incredible," she says. "We rehearsed it two times. He picked up the choreography. He has this photographic memory. He could probably kill it if he wanted to." OMG yes! Does anyone smell a tour? [People]
• Alec Baldwin on kissing Jennifer Aniston for 30 Rock: "It was painful. I mean, every man who's had to make out with her in TV and movies — I don't know how they do it." Baldwin was also asked if unstable women are better in bed. "That's assuming I've been with crazy women," he said. "If I answer that question in the affirmative, that would type a woman I've been with as being crazy, which I don't really feel like doing. But I hear it's true. I hear from my friends it's true. I will say this on the record," he said before fleeing. "I've never slept with a crazy man." [NY Mag]
• Brad Pitt is on Oprah today! He'll be telling O how fatherhood has changed him: "[I'm] tough as nails. I’m impervious to poo, snot, urine, vomit. You can’t get me. You cannot break me down." [E!]
• Angelina on breastfeeding twins: "It's very hard. I stopped at three months, [it was] about as much as I could do. There's this football hold – it's a lot harder than it looks in the books. I did that a few times. I would take turns. It just takes a long time." [People]
• Are Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin on the rocks? She went to the Victoria's Secret show in Miami, and a source bitches: "She spent the summer filming a TV show in Spain with Mario Batali and now, instead of hanging out with her husband, she goes to a Victoria's Secret show? Really? Gwyneth doesn't have anything to do with Victoria's Secret. If things were so great with Chris, why wouldn't she be with him?" [Page Six]
• The Heath Ledger/freelancer/video lawsuit is a go. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Warner Bros has rolled out its first Oscar specific ad, a "For Your Consideration" poster urging awards voters to nominate Heath Ledger's performance as The Joker for an Academy Award. They're comparing his role to that of Anthony Hopkins, who won in 1992 for playing Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs. [News.com.au]
• Billy Ray Cyrus says Miley Cyrus and her pal Justin Gaston are great together: "I'll tell you what – they are great friends, and they make a good team. They write a lot of songs together, and they sing – it's incredible. I always tell her that as long as she's having fun, then it's working." Wait, what? [Perez Hilton]
• Miley says: "I think you have to be really careful about the people you trust." And what about Justin Gaston? "He's a singer, he's really cute, and he's nice and he's a Christian and I really like that." [People]
• More from Miley! "I would want to be on a reality show like The Real World because I think that's crazy. Anyone who would do that has some serious guts." She says being followed everywhere by paparazzi "is like a free reality show, I just don't get paid for it. Sometimes I'm not looking my best. I look like a mess, and I'm like I don't want my picture taken right now. I get comments like, ‘She's not looking her best today,' and I'm like, ‘I know, I'm not trying to impress you!'" [E!]
• Blind items! 1. Which Park Avenue socialite split from her husband when she discovered that he'd been enjoying secret conjugal relations with one of her best friends for years? 2. Which hit television show sidekick kicked an aspiring actress out of his cab after she refused to go to his apartment with him to "cuddle over milk and cookies"? 3. Which longtime New York basketball legend, whose wife handles his business, has gone bankrupt twice? 4. Which talk-show host has a flatulence problem so bad, he's said to have an assistant follow him around with an odor-vaporizing spray can? [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson says Tony Romo is "the whole package." Plus! "He's taught me to calm down a lot," Jess says. "I'm not organized and he's not organized either – but [he] does make me want to be organized for us." Fascinating. [People]
• So. You know how Joaquin Phoenix is retiring from acting? He can't get enough of the camera, actually: He's filming a documentary of his transition from acting to music. But it's real, see? Not acting. [E!]
• Michael Jackson paid £25,000 a session, for a total of £175,000 to see a "mind-mapping" guru to help him with his stage fright and creativity. The guru gets his clients to draw colorful maps. £175,000 for crayons? [The Sun]
• Here's more about the "brain guru." [NY Daily News]
• Um, Michael Jackson's nanny is in hiding. [Fox 411]
• Barack Obama's win is encouraging Gillian Anderson to leave London and move back to her native America. [Daily Express]
• Uh-oh, baby wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard has a crush on gorgeous model Noemie Lenoir. Is she "clean" enough for him? Also, they could be brother and sister, what with the skin and eyes. [Page Six]
• Is Anne Hathaway dating yet another loser? [Page Six]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown now have matching tattoos. [Concrete Loop]
• Serena Williams as the Black Racket is pretty much the best silly stoopid thing you will see today. [The.Life Files]
• Crap, Will Smith is doing a remake of Korean movie Old Boy, which is awesome just the way it is. [Reuters]
• Denise Richards was asked about the Angelina vs. Aniston feud and got all pissy, replying: "You know what? Their life is none of my business. My life has been public, and I think everyone should mind their own business about people's relationships, to be honest. It's between them!" Don't worry honey, soon people will stop for your your opinion. You'll miss it! [E!]
• Natasha Bedingfield: "Romance is female Viagra!" Sorry, explain? "In reality, relationships have ups and downs. If someone is worth enough to you, then you both fight to stay true through the tough times. Advice to guys: Keep the romance alive. Simple things like giving flowers or remembering special dates may sound cheesy but they do work." Oh, see, she's engaged and giddy. [People]
• Heather Mills is sick of the invasion of privacy, people! She's filed six complaints against Britloids: The Sun, Daily Mail, Daily Express and London Lite. [Guardian]
• Some dude claims a Martha Stewart lounge chair collapsed on him, crushing his right index finger. The tip of his finger allegedly fell beneath a deck and was eventually retrieved by a family member. He's suing Martha. Oh, and he says his life is ruined because he's a banjo player. And a hand model. [TMZ]
• Little Britain USA: Being renewed. Computer says yes. [The Sun]
• Click to see Kristen Johnston in a PETA ad against horse-drawn carriages. She's naked, but covered a la lady Godiva. [ONTD]
• You've been waiting for this: Whitney Port is launching her official site soon. Okay, maybe you haven't been waiting, but it's happening anyway. [Socialite Life]
• As previously reported, Rashida Jones is joining The Untitled Amy Poehler Show. Now we know she will play a nurse named Ann. this is all we know. [E!]
• If you watch CSI: Miami, you'll be delighted or disappointed to find out that Sean "Diddy" Combs will make a two-episode appearance, and not as a corpse. Puff will play a prosecutor. [Yahoo News]
• What the world needs now: A Vegas revue starring Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. "Think Spice Girls meets Showgirls." The project is called "Peep Show" and promises to be "very sexy and very girl power." [Perez Hilton]
• Antonia Kidman, Nicole's sister and a single mom, had a coffee date. That's what this story is about. [News.com.au]
• NFL star Tom Brady is working on rehabbing his injured knee, and while he recovers, a source spills, "No distractions and no Gisele." But doesn't supermodel glamazon Ms. Bundchen heal all wounds??? [Boston Herald]
• David Beckham will only stay with AC Milan for three months before returning to the Los Angeles Galaxy; the Italians are not trying to keep him. [The Independent]
• Russell Brand's stand up show in New York includes jokes about groping the Queen's breasts. He also encourages the audience: "Feel free to approach me for sex." [The Sun]
• Alicia Silverstone, author! Her book, The Kind Diet, comes out next year; it "explores the connection between what we put in our bodies and what we’re doing to the planet, and how choosing the right foods in the kitchen can help you feeling lighter, sexier, and more alive." Plus 75 vegan recipes. [USA Today]
• Aaaah, aaaaahhhhh! Sam Kinison biopic in the works. [NY Times]
• Pete Doherty is on a "pub footie team" which means he plays soccer with other guys from a bar. He says he plans to "score" every week, heh. [The Sun]
• Oh, dear. The flailing economy has hit Days If Our Lives: Deidre Hall (Dr. Marlena Evans) and Drake Hogestyn (John Black) have been axed for budget reasons. Hall had been on the NBC soap for 32 years, and Hogestyn was there for 22. Like sand through the hourglass! [NY Mag]
• Is Magic Johnson skimpy with health coverage when it comes to people who work for him? [TMZ]
• Chuck Norris has written a bunch of crap about the "Gay Anarchy" that America has been experiencing due to the Prop 8 debate. He says: "Protestors [sic] of Proposition 8 in California (the marriage amendment) shoved aside a 69-year-old woman who was bearing a cross. They reportedly spit on her and stomped on her cross. They then aligned themselves in a human barricade, blocking the media from getting to or interviewing the woman." The folks from Queerty call his screed a "gobbledygook of half truths, race-baiting and feigned outrage." [Queerty]
• Click here if you want to watch Hugh Jackman sing "I Still Call Australia Home." Such a Broadway voice on that one. [News.com.au]
• This story reads: "This week, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger… enlisted his friend and fellow environmentalist Rob Lowe to entice the notoriously wary Chinese into a discussion about global warming while showing them a little showbiz flash." Yes. Rob Lowe is meeting with Chinese officials. [LA Times]
• Stephen Baldwin said he'd leave the country if Obama won; unfortunately he was joking. He now says: "Obama is obviously talented and intelligent, and I have great respect for the man. He's got my full support, and I'm gonna be praying for him and his administration." [Page Six]
• Speaking of Obama, he does have friends in Hollywood, but they're not the ones you think — Clooney is not on the list. [Politico]
• American Buffalo is on Broadway, starring Haley Joel Osment, John Leguizamo and Cedric the Entertainer, and celebrities are loving it. [Rush & Molloy]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur will return to Hairspray December 9-January 4 for the final four weeks of its Broadway run. Not attending: Bianca Golden. [USA Today]
• Details about the romance between Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller. Including Monroe's painful miscarriage: Biographer Christopher Bigsby writes: "'It was Arthur's,' Monroe said, between sobs. 'It was for him. He didn't know. It was going to be a surprise. Then he would see that I could be a real wife, and a real mother.' Asked how long she had been pregnant, she replied, 'Just a few weeks, I guess. I didn't dare mention it to anyone, in case it wasn't true.'" [Telegraph]
• Bands don’t do what we used to do. Bands don’t have the theatrics. We were lighting ourselves on fire. I had a chainsaw and cut a nun’s head off. You don’t see that shit at all anymore, which is kind of sad." — Vince Neil, on the early days of Mötley Crüe. [Rolling Stone]
• "The most repulsive celebrity I've ever met is Mick Hucknall. Unlike me he doesn't realize why all the chicks love him. And he's really ugly." — Simon Cowell. [The Sun]
• "I've always had that fuck-the-system mentality, and his dad is so 'the system.' But then, they're the most liberal family — they bootlegged alcohol, for God's sake. They're rich because they threw big, illegal parties, so I don't mind." — M.I.A on her fiancé, Ben Brewer, who is a Seagram heir. [Page Six]
• "I’m currently enjoying a period of sobriety, but for the last 15 years that hasn’t been the case… It’s just as I get older the hangovers get worse. If there were no consequences to drinking, I would drink all the time, but as you get older the hangovers get worse, and I’m just tired of losing entire days to hangovers, so I’m enjoying some healthy sobriety for awhile to see how that works. I don’t advocate sobriety for anyone who can drink successfully." — Moby. [BlackBook]

• More from Jennifer Aniston, whose Vogue interview has been leaking all over the internet: "There is more to me than just a tabloid girl. This whole 'Poor lonely Jen' thing, this idea that I'm so unlucky in love? I actually feel I've been unbelievably lucky in love. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be." Oh! And she also says: "I never liked Sex and the City, the kind of thing where women only feel empowered once they find the Man. It is just not up my alley. I don't believe in it. There is nothing you can control about love." [Perez Hilton]
• Oh, Jen also says when it comes to John Mayer, "People need to mind their own business." But! She gushes: "I deeply, deeply care about him; we talk, we adore one another. And that's where it is." [People]
• You know how Jennifer Aniston has a cleavage-baring red dress on for her Vogue cover? So did Angelina Jolie, for her January Vogue cover. Also? They both posed on sand! (Click to see both covers.) [The.Life Files]
• Paul Sculfor, who previously dated Aniston and is now Cameron Diaz's boyfriend, is taking Cammie home to the UK to meet his family. Christmas in England! [Daily Express]

• George Clooney on Prop 8: "At some point in our lifetime, gay marriage won't be an issue, and everyone who stood against this civil right will look as outdated as George Wallace standing on the school steps keeping James Hood from entering the University of Alabama because he was black." [E!]
• Daniel Craig doesn't hold the umbrella over his girlfriend when it rains. [The Sun]
• "Quantum of Solace is not a great movie. It's full of explosions and set pieces, and reminds everyone who sees it of the "Bourne" movies. But as a James Bond movie? It ranks far below the usual standards." —Roger Friedman. [Fox 411]
• BREAKING: A dead body was found outside of Paula Abdul's house. [TMZ]
• By the by, Mark Ronson is still sad that Amy Winehouse couldn't get her shit together enough to finish their Bond theme. [Daily Express]
• Baz Luhrmann admits that Australia isn't finished yet! "I'm going back to the mixing desk to finish it in 24 hours," he said Tuesday, just before he left for the airport. Hurry! [Reuters]
• Brad Pitt's bodyguard had to protect him from a gaggle of paparazzi at the premiere of The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, and Brad says: "Though they [the paparazzi] were exceptionally more aggressive than usual, breaking through a security barrier and into a private holding area, ultimately just another day in the life." [Yahoo News]
• Three years after the incident, Suge Knight is suing Kanye West over a shooting and the loss of a diamond earring. [TMZ]
• Donald Trump has been housing Jennifer Hudson and some of her relatives at the Trump International Hotel & Tower free of charge. "She's a great girl. And we're protecting them well," Trump says. "They are very safe." Wow, dude did a good deed. [People]
• Ouch: Jesse Metcalfe fell 40 feet, down two flights of stairs, and was knocked unconscious. He broke his leg, but an MRI shows no brain damage. This happened right after the World Music Awards, so one can't help but wonder if he was drinking… [The Sun]
• The story about Lauren Conrad throwing a fit at the airport? LC says it's false. "While it is a very entertaining story, I just don't think that highly of myself." Neither do we, dear. Neither do we. [People]
• Dear all you people who watch How I Met Your Mother: What is up with your show? First Heidi and Spencer, now Kim Kardashian. No, really. [E!]
• Kim Kardashian and boyfriend Reggie Bush love playing video games together. Zzz. [AP]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer says there won't be a hearing in family court to investigate his son's health. See, little Jayden got sick in Louisiana due to a "terrible allergic reaction" the first time Britney was allowed to take her kids out of the state since losing custody earlier this year. [People, E!]
• Mischa Barton was hounded by paparazzi outside of a club in L.A. and was very annoyed; the story takes the stance of "shouldn't she be glad people are still taking her picture?" but when you watch the video of aggro guys swarming around her, you get it: It's annoying. [E!]
• Warning: There will be full-frontal nudity in Sacha Baron Cohen's flick, Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Male. Cohen auditioned gay "adult" stars recently. [Rush & Molloy]
• UK TV presented Cilla Black says she once talked to Jennifer Lopez's then-husband, Chris Judd, and Lopez "started fuming." "She was screaming to her entourage: 'What's that woman doing with my man? Get rid of her.' It was so funny.'" [Daily Mail]
• Christina Aguilera says her son Max inspired her music: "I talk about being a super girl in the song 'Keeps Getting Better' and really that's due in great deal to the fact that I've had a complete new appreciation for women in general, for what we're capable of doing, of what our bodies are capable of undergoing, and creating." [People]
• Josh Brolin swears he heard George Bush saw W and "liked it very much." Karl Rove, on the other hand… [CNN]
• Blast from the past: Small Wonder, the robot girl sitcom. [BoingBoing]
• David Beckham has the best-selling calendar in the UK, yawn. [Mirror]
• LOL at this picture of a lady in curlers gazing upon Barack Obama. [Concrete Loop]
• Elton John and Billy Joel: On the road! Dueling pianos? Elton says: "It's two for the price of one. Our ticket prices are the same as anyone else's, but there's two of us. In this day and age, we hope to be getting people value for their money." [Mirror]
• The finale episode of TRL happens this Sunday. A huge finale show is planned; Justin Timberlake, Snoop Dogg, Kid Rock, 50 Cent, Fall Out Boy, Christina Aguilera, Travis Barker and Beyoncé will appear. [MTV]
• Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle: It's on. He's 19, she's 22. [TMZ]
• Headline of the day: "Jason Priestley on Brenda Walsh's Rumored Illness: 'That's Awesome!'" [E!]
• Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis is developing a series for HBO based on his unconventional, rock 'n' roll childhood. His dad, Spider, sold drugs and hung with rock stars on the Sunset Strip. Get a hot hottie to play Spider and this sounds like a show worth watching. [Variety]
• Spotted: Billy Corgan leaving the White House, on the same day as the big Obama visit. Secret mission? [Washington Post]
• Will Russell Crowe replace Heath Ledger in a flick called Dirt Music? Isn't that taking the casting in a really different direction? [Daily Express]
• Word association with Tracy Morgan: Waffles, vampires, Michelle Obama. Etc. [Comedy Central]
• Natascha McElhone was spotted with her newborn baby, just five months after the tragic death of her husband. Sadness. [Daily Express]
• Have you seen this Elizabeth Peyton portrait of Michelle Obama yet? [LA Times]
• News you can't use: Katie "Price" Jordan and husband Peter Andre are going on vacation, where, Jordan says, "All we are going to do is have spa treatments, relax, have sex, eat and sleep." [The Sun]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown renewed her wedding vows in a four-day extravaganza in a plush Egyptian resort. There was a swimming pool with disco lights, glitter confetti and belly dancers. A low-key affair. [The Sun]
• Martina Navratilova will be on UK show I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here. She'll totally win any tennis challenges! [Mirror]
• A Rolling Stone poll has deemed Aretha Franklin "the greatest singer in the rock era." All hail the queen! [Reuters]
• Brooke Shields is trying her very very best to be optimistic about the future of Lipstick Jungle, despite the fact that the show recently moved to kiss-of-death night, Friday: "You know, people get very nervous when they see a show that switched nights. For us, it's a positive thing. Especially with the economy — more people are inclined to stay home on a Friday night or watch television live. Or moms are more likely to stay up and watch a 10 o'clock show if they don't really have to get up with the kids. Well, kids don't sleep on the weekends, either. But at least they don't have to rush to get them to school. So I think that that's … there is that audience." Sure, sure. [NY Mag]
• Adam Sandler's wife welcomed their second child into the world, a girl named Sunny Madeline. [ET]
• Did you know that Lindsay Wagner, aka the Bionic Woman, is working on some kind of acupressure project that helps people deal with negative experiences with inner healing? [The Star]
• Paul McCartney: Revealing details about the real-life Eleanor Rigby? [Daily Mail]
• A dude who illegally posted Guns N' Roses songs online is pleading guilty of copyright infringement, uh-oh. He could get three years in prison. Welcome to the jungle! [Reuters]
• Roger Moore on the new Bond: "I'm sad that it has turned so violent." [Reuters]
• "In the middle of an orgasm, do I think 'do I have too much flab around my middle?' I mean when you are really in an ecstatic place and you look at your child’s face and you are completely happy and you have your family around you – you certainly don’t think about that!" — Susan Sarandon. [The Sun]
• "Everyone tells me that there will never be a good time, that I will always be busy, but I just think when the stars are aligned it will happen." — Janet Jackson, on having a baby. [Daily Express]
• "I write a lot of my songs for women. A lot of the songs are about things that we need to hear. Things I wouldn't really say, or I wish I could say. I'm kind of a voice for a lot of young women. I feel that women understand men a little better. I really don't feel that men understand women as much. And it's something that we go through all the time. But I also feel like we learn a lot from each other, and when we're connected it's amazing." — Beyoncé. [Telegraph]
• "Apparently she wants to be directing and that's what she'll be doing. Two directors in the family is never going to work." — Christopher Ciccone, on sister Madonna's future. [The Star]
• "I grew out of my leading boy days. It's good. It's the natural progression of things… What you can achieve on television now, and I sound like an ancient man when I say these things, but what you can do on TV now is worlds away from what we could even think of doing 10 years ago." — Josh Jackson, talking about his role on Fringe versus his time on Dawson's Creek [The Star]
• "I think she should keep her head down, work really hard and learn about governing. But I'm not anyone to give advice to anyone about anything." — Katie Couric on Sarah Palin. [Page Six]
• "Coco will probably follow in our footsteps, unfortunately. She has a really strong personality. She’s a funny, quirky kid. But she doesn’t like people laughing at her so it should be drama!" — David Arquette, on his four-year-old daughter (with Courteney Cox) getting into show biz. [Daily Express]
• "I've got to tell you, it's so vague at this point, it's so faraway in my mind, I can't even remember the darkness. I mean, in the end, we really had an amicable split. … And pretty soon after we separated, we got on the phone and we had a long, long conversation with each other and said a lot of things, and ever since we've been unbelievably warm and respectful of each other." — Jennifer Aniston, on Brad Pitt, in Vogue. [Perez Hilton]
• "Three and a half years ago a man came along and said, 'I'm going to take you to Tennessee. And he took me down there and he said, 'I think you deserved to be loved. Let me love you, let me give you a home, and let's make a baby.' So thank you, Keith Lionel. I don't believe that you can [have it all]. But I believe you can have balance. Three and a half years ago I had a wonderful career, I had two kids, I had movie offers, great directors offering me things, but I wasn't loved." — Nicole Kidman. [People]
• "I am not darker, angrier or moodier these days. In fact, it's just the opposite. All that's happened is that I've given up on trying to find a way to use unwanted media as a form of entertainment. (It still was worth a try.) A walk to the car isn't the best time to try and analyze my mood or disposition, so you'll probably always get a bad read from it. Things have changed a bit, and the decision to slide on and off your radar isn't so much my own anymore. But I'm too young to stomp my feet about it. All I can do is concentrate on keeping my heart and soul correct and then redecorate around it." — John Mayer. [People]

• Amy Poehler is leaving Saturday Night Live! She'll step away after the November election to give birth to her first child, and she won't be coming back. "It's gonna be really hard — Boyz II Men hard — to say goodbye to yesterday," she says. "But like any good drug, you need to know when to put it down." Amy will still be on TV, though: She's getting her own NBC series from the producers of The Office. [LA Times]
• RIP TRL! After ten years, Total Request Live will end its run on MTV. All kinds of stars stopped by the studios promote their projects, from Britney Spears to *NSync to Eminem. Remember when Mariah had her meltdown? It's the end of an era. [AP]
• Katie Couric has landed an interview with Sarah Palin. The CBS anchor will travel with the Governor next week. Will the ladies go on a moose hunt? [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse posted pictures of Blake Incarcerated exposing his manhood on her Facebook profile. (Click to see a censored version.) In other news, Blake would rather stay in prison than accept early release where he has to live with his mum and wear an electronic monitoring device because he doesn't want to go somewhere where he can't be with Amy. [The Sun]

• Oh dear, it seems that Blake Incarcerated has failed a drug test and will spend Christmas in jail. Amy is upset she'll be spending New Year's Eve alone. She must feel like she's fighting some unholy war. [ONTD]
• Christina Applegate went back to work on the set of Samantha Who? yesterday, after taking time out for a double mastectomy in July. She'll undergo reconstructive surgery in the next few months. [E!]
• Nikki Blonksky sat down with Entertainment Tonight in her first interview since the incident in a Turks and Caicos airport which lead to her — and her father — being arrested. "You never expect things like this in your life, but you take life one day at a time, and you deal with situations," Nikki says. [ET]
• Nikki Blonsky also says nice things about Zac Efron: "I love him with every inch of my body and soul. He has been an amazing support system." [Just Jared]
• Mischa Barton and Josh Hartnett partied in London together. They left a club and went to his hotel; she was seen leaving an hour later. Is it on? [This Is London]
• Kevin Federline skipped his sons' birthday party to get wasted in Las Vegas. [MSNBC]
• Zahara Jolie-Pitt is three years old, but she already has a job lined up: When she's older, she can work at the clinic her parents have established in Ethiopia for children with AIDS and tuberculosis. [Star]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli's off-again/on-again relationship is currently off. Stay tuned. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mariah Carey doesn't pick up her dog doo. [Page Six]
• Don't look for any more singles from Mariah Carey's album. [Perez Hilton]
• Lily Allen's new album comes out in February and is basically done, though she's adding some things. She explains: "I’m working on some extra stuff in the studio at the moment, it seems making an album isn't enough these days, some websites (not naming any!) won’t put an album on their front page unless you give them exclusive tracks, not that I’m complaining." Then she goes on to complain: "I always thought an album was a body of work in itself. you take it or leave it. You wouldn't say to a painter 'yeah I love the naked ladies, but would you mind painting their hair blonde instead of brown, and making their t*ts a bit bigger?' or 'the trees are really pretty, a few more leaves perhaps?' Maybe you would actually, ha ha." [Mirror]
• Tom Hanks: Being honored by the Film Society of Lincoln Center. [USA Today]
• Pat O'Brien of The Insider cares about poor people, claims he has "raged against the machine" and says we can change the world. [Page Six]
• Veronica Webb was replaced by Gretta Monahan on Tim Gunn's Guide To Style, but was still forced to sit next to her at a party. The cruelty! [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie says a quickie is the best type of sex. Also, when asked why his films rarely have actresses in them, he said, "That's because I don't understand women." [The Sun]
• Benicio Del Toro and Steven Soderbergh: Seen partying in Toronto, getting lap dances and letting the ladies pour vodka shots into their mouths. Che it ain't so. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh, Kate Moss's daughter likes the way gas smells, so Kate leaves the car door open when she fills up at the petrol station. Does snorting chemicals run in the family? [The Sun]
• Jack White is not happy that Coca-Cola is using a song he wrote for the James Bond film Quantum of Solace. Although! Jack White did once write a song for Coke. Just not this song. [AdFreak]
• Ew, Aubry O'Day seen making out with Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus's new guy is a model and aspiring country singer snamed Justin Gaston. Her rep says he is a "friend from Nashville." The two went to church together on Sunday. Jesus, talk about a clean teen. [People]
• Here's an interview with Michael Emerson, who plays Benjamin Linus on Lost. He says: "I learned the story at the same rate the audience was learning it. I didn’t know where it was going… But I've gotten used to it. Now, not knowing is part of the fun." [LA Times]
• Snoop Dogg, Rihanna and Chris Brown will attend the Melbourne Cup. Just a short while ago, it was unclear whether Snoop would be allowed into Australia; now he'll be in some kind of VIP booth at the horse race. Trifecta like it's hot. [News.com.au]
• The West Hollywood Gay and Lesbian Alliance are calling the British comedy series Little Britain USA "offensive" and "obnoxious." Isn't it supposed to be? [ONTD]
• Cate Blanchett and Philip Seymour Hoffman are working on a project to promote collaboration between theater companies in London, New York and Sydney, Australia. Blanchett's husband is a playwright; Hoffman is directing his work. [AP]
• Megan Fox is on the cover of GQ running her tongue across her teeth and wearing a bikini. She's also on the cover of Maxim, but the magazine bought old pix and did a story without her cooperation. [People]
• Noel Gallagher plans to team up with Russell Brand to create TV shows. Maybe even a sitcom. Be afraid. [The Sun]
• Saturday, Susie Essman of Curb Your Enthusiasm married her boyfriend of five years, a real estate broker named Jim Harder. Congrats! She says: "He didn’t even have HBO, or cable for that matter, and maybe that was a good thing because if he had ever seen me play Susie Greene, he probably would have run for the hills." [People]
• Dane Cook's made three shitty movies. Will My Best Friend's Girl be different? [AP]
• Um, a remake of Children Of The Corn. For the SciFi Channel. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Any CSI: NY fans out there? How do you feel about the fact that Rumer Willis will be on a November 19th episode? [EW]
• "No one can replace Richard Wright — he was my musical partner and my friend. He was gentle, unassuming and private but his soulful voice and playing were vital, magical components of our most recognised Pink Floyd sound." — Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour. [BBC News]
• "(David) wasn’t very well endowed, because he was fighting Goliath. There was very much that effect (for me). You tighten up like a hamster." — Daniel Radcliffe, on "shrinkage" due to stage fright while appearing nude in Equus on Broadway. [MSNBC, Daily Express]

• "i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach. so, here's the visual... two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me... one of them being, 'Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?' WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile! i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you're not even fully developed yet! It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye... i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person." — Lindsay Lohan, on her MySpace Celebrity blog. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Christian Bale will get a "caution" — is that like a warning? — for allegedly pushing and shoving his sister and mom. Meaning he won't go to court. [The Sun]
• Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi: "Getting married very very soon." [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Aniston's been seen with model Matt Felker. Also known as Selma Blair's ex-boyfriend. Also known as the guy from Britney's "Toxic" video. [Perez Hilton]
• Apparently John Mayer is "still mulling" his relationship with Jen and might be upset that she's seeing someone new right away. Whatever, dude. [Mirror]

• Angelina Jolie is not "the replacement" for Tom Cruise in the spy thriller Edwin A. Salt; Tom passed on the role. Spin control or correction? [MSNBC]
• Paula Wagner, Tom Cruise's production partner, is quitting MGM/UA. Again: Is Tom's career in the crapper? [Financial Times]
• "I'm writing every day, right here at the piano," Britney Spears says. The new songs are her "best work ever." [Reuters]
• Pam Anderson has a new man! He's from the United Arab Emirates and may be a member of Abu Dhabi's royal family. Think she'll live in Dubai part-time? [E!]
• Pictures of Chris Brown and Rihanna frolicking on the beach in Barbados will make you want to go on vacation. [The Sun]
• Is Mary-Kate Olsen, who has an estimated $20 million annual income, "burning through her money? [MSNBC]
• Meanwhile, Ashley Olsen's been seen "all over" new boyfriend Justin Bartha. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams is careful about the paparazzi: "Before Michelle leaves the house with Matilda, she has a bodyguard go around her block and make sure there are no photographers," a source says. [Page Six]
• The phrase "wardrobe malfunction" has gone into the lastest Chambers English Dictionary. Thanks, Janet Jackson, for adding to our modern lexicon! [Mirror]
• While Madonna has plans to adopt a little girl from Malawi, she won't be adopting Dingiswayo Banda, David Banda's newborn half-brother. This paper is trying to make her feel bad about that. [Daily Mail]
• This report says Madonna is not planning to adopt another child from Malawi. [TMZ]
• Benji Madden and Paris Hilton: Dunzo? [E!]
• Kelly Brook and Billy Zane: Splitsville. "This time, for good." [Mirror]
• Winona Ryder and Blake Sennett from the band Rilo Kiley: Broken up. There are two eclipses this month and everything is all effed up, you guys. Hug someone. [Perez Hilton]
• Courteney Cox directed a short film for Glamour magazine's Reel Moments. "My short's about a girl, played by Laura Dern, who has a chance encounter on a bus that confirms the decision she makes to be single and reinforces her faith in herself," Cox says. "You don't have to have someone complete you." [USA Today]
• Kevin Federline was checking out spelling conundrum Brittny Gastineau at a club in L.A. recently, but Brittny was not interested. Unrelated: Would you like to buy a vowel? [Page Six]
• David Beckham, Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin and Leona Lewis will be part of the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. If they do "Stairway To Heaven" my brian will explode. [Mirror]
• Sylvester Stallone will star in a Bollywood movie? Must. See. [Wall Street Journal]
• Some dude fell down a "large, concealed drop-off" on Sharon Stone's property and he's suing. [TMZ]
• A woman arrested on charges of stalking John Cusack has been found mentally competent to stand trial, and she'll be in court September 9. [Reuters]
• Dave Coulier speaks about being the inspiration for Alanis Morissette's song, "You Oughta Know." "I said, 'I think I have really hurt this person.'" Ya think? [Perez Hilton]
• If you've got a hundred bucks and an idea about who shot JR, you can go to the 30th anniversary party for Dallas, being held at a Texas ranch. Larry Hagman, Linda Gray and Patrick Duffy have confirmed they will attend! [AP]
• Audrina Patridge has been offered a guest role on a new sitcom, Do Not Disturb, starting this fall. Not that you care. [People]
• "What have you done? You hardly know the boy!" — Peaches Geldof's dad, Sir Bob, upon hearing that his daughter got hitched in Vegas. [Mirror]
• "You can’t understand how a woman seeing a man who has been separated from his wife [Rosetta Getty] for months can cause such a scandal. It’s awful, I can’t tell you. You wonder when it’s all going to stop." — Jo Miller, Sienna's mom. [Daily Express]
• "I don't believe in God, I believe in Al Pacino, and that's true. If I ever get a phone call saying, 'Would you like to work with Pacino?,' I would go crazy." — Javier Bardem in Time magazine. [Page Six]
• "If anyone wants to win an Oscar, they can just work with me." — Kerry Washington to Giant magazine, referring to her Academy Award-toting co-stars Jamie Foxx and Forest Whitaker. [Page Six]

• Shia LaBeouf: Arrested on suspicion of drunk driving Sunday. He was trying to make a left turn at a West Hollywood intersection at 3 am when his pickup truck smashed into another vehicle and rolled over. Shia was taken to Cedars-Sinai for injuries to his left hand and a knee, as well as a minor head injury. Don't drink and drive, people. [AP]
• Shia was booked at the hospital. He's recovering from "extensive hand surgery" and will return to the set of Transformers 2 in about a month. [Yahoo News]
• This picture of Shia's truck shows a "mangled mess." [TMZ]
• Mary-Kate Olsen has confirmed that she was Heath Ledger's "secret lover" when he died in January. If you believe Grazia magazine. She says: "I'm just completely shattered about Heath. I loved him so much. We had this amazing connection and now he's gone. I just can't get over him." Plus! She's convinced that Heath's family, friends and fans hate her... She may be right. [ONTD]

• "In all this glorious (and quite deserved) rediscussion of Heath Ledger’s passing now that The Dark Knight is out, no one seems to be mentioning what the ef killed the Aussie star, i.e., drugs… Way too many of them. I mean, when Di got smashed up a decade ago in Paris, the world was out to kill the press corps, blaming our kind for destroying the princess, when in fact, it was a drunken driver who killed the poor gal. And now, nothing at all’s being blamed. It’s just being labeled “tragic” and “too soon” that Heath passed. Look, idiots, it’s called drugging yourself to death. Wake up. I exclaim this entirely respectfully, too, mind you—no one misses his über talents more than I. Superdamn shame." — Ted Casablanca. [E!]
• Was Lindsay Lohan hit by a motorcycle in New York Friday night? Did she go to the hospital? Her dad says: "She's not hurt." [UPI]
• Some reports claim that Lindsay Lohan was "flattened" by a motorcycle late Friday night. Her spokesperson says "Nothing happened." [Yahoo News]
• Bono will be the godfather of the Jolie-Pitt twins! [ONTD]
• Angelina and Brad plan on having more biological kids. A source says, "A dozen kids would be their dream." And my nightmare! [MSNBC]
• Halle Berry is pissed at the paparazzi. A photographer trespassed on private property to get a shot of Halle and her infant daughter Nahla. Halle says: "I have long since come to terms with the fact that choosing a career as an actress has made me a public figure, but my baby has made no such choice, and unless and until she does, I will do everything I can…to keep her out of the public eye." She wants everyone to know that the pix were taken illegally. (They were published by In Touch and Life & Style.) [AP]
• Lord Of The Rings star Sean Bean was arrested over the weekend over allegations he assaulted his fourth wife. Boromir would never do such a thing! [Perez Hilton]
• Guy Ritchie speaks! "My marriage is fine as far as I'm aware of," he says. Ha! Poor thing. [Yahoo News]
• But wait! Madonna and Guy plan to renew their vows, at a special Shabbat party in August. Shabbat Nachamu, M and Guy will make speeches in front of the rabbis, letting everyone know they still love each other. [The Sun]
• Madge will unveil her new documentary, I Am Because We Are, at a film festival in Traverse City, Michigan. [UPI]
• Dita Von Teese has a not-so-secret admirer: David Beckham. Dita is friends with David's wife Victoria but David thinks Dita is "very talented." And sent her a text recently. [Daily Mail]
• Jimmy Choo founder Tamara Mellon is moving in with her boyfriend Christian Slater. Good luck, kids! [Daily Mail]
• Ryan Seacrest, Heidi Klum, Tom Bergeron, Howie Mandel and Jeff Probst will host the Emmy Awards on September 21. Heidi could probably do a great job all by herself, no? [People]
• Christian Bale's former assistant, Harrison Cheung, sheds light on Bale's personality. He says: "From the moment [Christian] got the part in Empire Of The Sun, everything changed. Christian became the family’s main breadwinner.We would talk about his parents’ unhappy marriage and how his was the ultimate dysfunctional family. He found it hard to trust people because he’d been so hurt as a child. We would talk about his parents’ unhappy marriage and how his was the ultimate dysfunctional family. Christian [was] deeply insecure about who he could trust." [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse punched a wall yesterday and burst into tears. There's a picture of her bloody fist with a broken thumbnail. Her dad says, "She's fine." [The Sun]
• Blake Incarcerated is "begging" Amy to leave London before something terrible happens. Dude, problems follow you, dontchaknow? [Mirror]
• Rachael Ray has launched a charity-driven line of dog foods based on recipes she has created for her pit bull, Isaboo. Sorta cute, sorta nauseating. [AP]
• Rosie O'Donnell is potentially getting a show on NBC. It could be live, with skits and all kinds of acts from comedy to drama to music. Would you watch? [Fox News]
• Even though Britney and Kevin's child-custody settlement has been finalized, it could change down the line. This story explains: "As the boys grow older, and Spears and Federline's lives evolve, so too might their custody arrangements." Brit has improved. A lot. [AP]
• K-Fed gets $20,000 a month in child support. That's 10 grand per kid, though surely you could take care of 20 kids for that kind of dough. [Yahoo News]
• Will Eva Longoria — sorry, Eva Parker — open a new location of her L.A. restaurant, Beso, in Las Vegas? [E!]
• Keira Knightley has refused to let her publicity stills for The Duchess be Photoshopped. Apparently she's sick of studios giving her drawn-on boobs. [Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus made fun of teen queens Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato in a YouTube video, but she's sorta sorry. "We were, like, just having fun," she says. [MSNBC]
• Charlie Sheen wants to get full custody of his daughter after his ex-wife Denise Richards accused him of molesting them. Ugh, when will this crap be over? [The Sun]
• Sam Ronson is pissed that Page Six claimed she won't play Ali Lohan's single when she DJs. Sam says "Where do they come up with this shit? I wouldn't be responding to this one — but I'm afraid that people might actually believe that and that's not fair to Ali. She's 14 years old — high school is bad enough — do tabloids really need to torture teenagers as well?" [Perez Hilton]
• Susie Feldman, wife of Corey, is in Playboy. The mag asks the oh-so important question: Have you ever had a threesome with the two Coreys? Susie sez: "No — absolutely not. Would never even consider it. I'm sure there are girls out there who might've had that fantasy at one point in their life. I don't find Corey Haim attractive; he's not really my type." [Playboy]
• People don't make money off of YouTube, but Avril Lavigne's manager thinks the site owes her about $2 million. Which she would not get anytime soon. [Silicon Alley Insider]
• A clip of Paris Hilton, acting and singing in that movie musical Repo! The Genetic Opera. If you care. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris tells People: "I think my whole life I was kind of living as a teenager and not really taking responsibility." You don't say! "Now I realize that I'm an adult and I'm running a huge company and I'm in love. I'm in a great relationship. I have my family. I'm just excited for life." [People]
• Sienna Miller loves a house in London — too bad it's five doors down from Jude Law's place. Not worth it! [Mirror]
• This report says that Sienna has "fled" to New York to escape the Balthazar backlash. Her dad lives here. [Daily Mail]
• Balthazar Getty: Begging wife's forgiveness after being pictured frolicking on a yacht with topless Sienna Miller? Word is he wants a second chance with the wife. [Mirror]
• Balthazar's been sending wife Rosetta e-mails that read, "I love you." [TMZ]
• George Clooney's ex Sarah Larson says "I'm staying single." Yawn. [People]
• None of the living Golden Girls went to Estelle Getty's funeral. They each had really good excuses, though. Except Betty White. [Perez Hilton]
• In this cast photo from the Broadway play All My Sons, Katie Holmes looks just like Katie Holmes. [ONTD]
• Priscilla Presley's 21 year old son — half-brother of Lisa Marie — is a "hippie" and a "pot dealer" who lives in a run down house in California growing marijuana under lights in the basement. Possibly because he's escaping Scientology, in which case, it makes sense. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Apparently when there was a fatwa out on Salman Rushdie, he expected the cops protecting him to pay for their rooms in the safe house. WTF. [Times Of India]
• OMG Andrew Ridgeley might join George Michael on stage at the end of GM's tour next month. Wham! fan here. I am never going to dance again. Guilty feet have got no rhythm. [The Sun]
• Do you want Johnny Depp's sausage in your mouth? [BoingBoing]
• Connie Francis is in the hospital with dangerously high blood pressure. Be well! [UPI]
• What the world needs now: A Jackson 5 museum. [Mirror]

• Jennifer Garner's Alias spydaddy, Victor Garber, spills that Jen and Ben have a bun in the oven. "She is five months pregnant," he says. They are very happy." [Us Magazine]
• Is Uma Thurman knocked up? [Rush & Molloy]
• People, this is crazy but the Michael Lohan paternity test (remember Ashley Kaufman?) has been delayed. Last week a commenter said that on Maury they can get it done in like 2 days. But apparently the testing company in this case won't process the test without a court order. Michael's going to see if he can get one. [Yahoo News]
• Keith Urban says being a new dad is "pure bliss" and that he and Nicole Kidman are "absolutely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and well wishes we are receiving." [People]
• A settlement is likely in the Britney/Kevin custody case — meaning it won't go to trial, thank Zeus. [People]
• This just in! The case has been settled. Kevin will get sole legal and physical custody. Britney will have visitation rights. Pending court approval. [Yahoo News, People]

• You know how it was reported that Britney is working on a new album? It was kind of a trick to get her to actually work on her new album. [Page Six]
• A warrant has been issued for Pete Doherty's arrest over claims he yanked a camera from a photographer's neck causing hundreds of dollars in damage. Dude, didn't you just get out of the clink not long ago? [The Sun]
• Paris Hilton's big feet mean she'll have an easy birth? This story reads, "Doctors say big-footed women – such as Paris Hilton, who wears a UK size 10 – are likely to have a large pelvis and so find childbearing easier." Um, yay? [The Sun]
• Writer Polly Hudson says: "Gwyneth Paltrow did the best thing for women since that one who chained herself to stuff in black and white times. She went out without any make-up on." Gwyneth Paltrow, hero to women? [I disagree. -Ed.] [Mirror]
• Miranda Kerr's rep says she has not split with Orlando Boom despite reports that she was seen snogging ex Brandon Davis. Whatever could be going on? [The Sun]
• Are Jen Aniston and Miley Cyrus teaming up? Apparently Jen wants MC to be her costar in an upcoming film. Jen would play an overbearing stage mother; Miley would play the up-and-coming singer. Two big personalities, one film. Question: Has Jen ever been in a good movie? Or is she box office poison? [Star]
• Is Barry Manilow okay? His weight has "plummeted," say the tabs. And he looks a wee frail in these pix. [Daily Mail]
• Bono and The Edge from U2 have won a four-year legal battle to gut and expand their 1930s Art Deco Dublin hotel, the Clarence, into a futuristic landmark. It's the architectural heritage vs. moving forward argument, and heritage lost. [AP]
• Tom Cruise lost a movie role, maybe because he wanted too much money. He seems to think he can still get a $20 million salary. [Fox News]
• Do not stand between 50 Cent and his son. Fiddy wants to see his son! [Yahoo News]
• When Sigourney Weaver was nine, she asked her mother if she thought she was pretty. Her mom said, "No dear, you're just plain." Her mom died 11 months ago and Sigourney says: "We had a difficult relationship. My mother was a difficult person to know. She was very, very private. I am grateful for the five years that I had with her towards the end where we became very good friends." [Mirror]
• Antonio Sabato Jr. on Rachel Hunter: "She's a big girl, but she's sexy as hell." [TMZ]
• This is an awesome headline: "Porn Star In Taxxx Bust." Janine Lindemulder is facing a federal criminal rap for failing to pay about $80,000 in income taxes. She's the ex-wife of Monster Garage's Jesse James. Anyway: Maybe she can get some advice from Wesley Snipes? [The Smoking Gun]
• Showtime is on the verge of greenlighting a dark comedy series starring Edie Falco. She'd play a "strong-willed, iconoclastic New York nurse juggling the frenzied grind of an urban hospital and an equally challenging personal life." The woman is awesome. Who wouldn't buy what she's selling? [Yahoo News!]
• Dennis Farina pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of bringing a weapon into a secure area at LAX. Dude had a loaded, concealed gun at the airport! Anyway he can't own or carry a gun for several months now, boo hoo. [AP]
• Shonda Rhimes, creator and executive producer of Grey's Anatomy, speaks out about Katherine Heigl. "I have a really wonderful working relationship with Katherine. And I love and respect her as an actress. And everyone knows that Izzie is one of my favorite characters. So, for me, [the comment that Heigl made about not having material that was Emmy-worthy] was surprising, but Katie is an outspoken person and I think we all know that already." She also says: "The first half of season she had a very strong story line with George that played out more comedically. The second half, Katherine asked me to write her light so that she could work on her movie… I didn’t feel insulted." [LA Times]
• Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry jokes that Katherine made the comments because "She was drunk." [People]
• Speaking of Grey's, Isaiah Washington has just made a big donation to the Equality California fund that's working to stop the anti-marriage amendment on the November California ballot. His publicist had a same-sex wedding over the weekend and asked friends and clients to donate in lieu of gifts. [Perez Hilton]
• More hair, more boobs, more butt: E! has picked up Keeping Up With The Kardashians for a third season. [Yahoo News]
• Kanye West does not have a ghostblogger! He blogs himself! He wants you to know this! So he posted pictures of himself blogging. On his blog. [KanyeUniversecity, via Concrete Loop]