[Nairobi, November 4. Image via Getty]

Kenyans hold a procession on November 4, 2009 on the sidelines of the fifth Multilateral Initiative on Malaria conference in the Kenyan capital Nairobi to call for donor support in research and distribution of drugs to combat AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria. Chanting: 'Yes We Can,' a slogan synonymous to the presidential campaign and election of US President Barack Obama a year ago, partcipants in the procession promised to send thousands of cards and messages to urge donors, and in particular Obama, to continue backing treatment for these diseases by significantly expanding investments in the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria. AFP PHOTO/Tony KARUMBA (Photo credit should read TONY KARUMBA/AFP/Getty Images)

• Iranian police warned shopkeepers today not to use any mannequins with visible curves. Mannequins are also barred from appearing in windows without a headscarf. • In response to an abysmally low conviction rate for reported rapes, British officials have ordered a review of how rape victims are treated by authorities from the moment they report the assault onward. • Elizaveta Mukasei, who, with her husband, Mikhail, spied during the cold war for the KGB, has died at 97. The New York Times calls the Mukaseis "one of the most famous husband-and-wife duos in the history of espionage." • A new study reveals that more adults than previously thought (three out of five) have suffered from depression, anxiety disorders, alcohol addiction or marijuana abuse at some point in their lives. Previous studies had placed the number much lower, but they also did not follow participants over time, which doctors believe has lead to a more accurate picture of American's mental health. • Supreme Court Justice Sonya Sotomayor, who is a Yankees fan, is scheduled to throw out the first pitch on Saturday before New York's game against the Boston Red Sox. • A three-year custody battle over Dexter the pug has finally come to a close. A judge ruled that the dog will spend five weeks at a time with each of his owners. • Swedish female soldiers are demanding that the military provide them with combat-tested bras because the sports bras they're forced to buy unhook too easily. Men are provided with military-issue underwear, but there are no military-issue bras, so women have to buy their own. • According to the Census Bureau, 27% of gay couples say they are in a relationship "akin to husband-and-wife." This number is much higher than the number of gay couples who have been legally married, and analysts say it reflects the couples who would get married if they were granted equal rights. However, there were fewer same-sex couples reported this year than last, but that may be because fewer straight couples checked the wrong box on their forms. • Researchers have found that mice who are fed alcohol at a young age are more likely to make stupid decisions when they reach adulthood. Although this does not mean people who drink as teens grow up to be risk-takers, it does open up the possibility that the two things are related. • Tanning salons generally do not allow minors to visit without parental permission, but once they are in the door, they do not limit the number of tanning sessions allowed, a recent undercover operation found. •  A girls school in Pakistan was the target of another terrorist attack this Tuesday. Authorities believe the building was blown up by Islamist militants. • Researchers say when people are stressed they actually choose less familiar foods rather than "comfort foods." Study participants were asked to rate the level of change in their lives, then choose between American potato chips and British chips with odd flavors like Camembert and plum. Those experiencing more change were more likely to choose the unusual chips. • Australia's parliament will debate a bill that will decide whether two Kenyan woman can stay in the country as refugees, or if they will be forced to return and undergo female genital mutilation. Grace Gichuhi is seeking asylum because the Mungiki sect that killed her mother for refusing FGM wants to murder her for the same reason. She and fellow Kenyan Teresia Ndikaru Muturi both fled the country, but they'll be deported unless the parliament votes to expand refugee protection laws. • Researchers say people who are dieting should beware of naturally skinny friends who eat too much. 210 students participated in experiments in which a thin or overweight researcher ate snacks with them while watching a movie. The subject's portion choices mimicked the researcher's, but they adjusted and took a smaller portion if the researcher was overweight. • British Attorney General Baroness Scotland has been fined £5,000 for employing a housekeeper who wasn't allowed to work in the U.K. She didn't know it when she hired the housekeeper, but didn't keep a copy of her documents as required by law. • More women are murdered by men in Louisiana than anywhere else in the United States, according to a report from the Violence Policy Center. The national rate of women being murdered by men is 1.3 per 100,000, but in 2007 Louisiana's rate was 2.53 per 100,000. Alaska and Wyoming had the second and third highest rates. • A 19-year-old Indian girl confessed that she and her 20-year-old boyfriend strangled seven members of her family who opposed their relationship. They are charged with murdering her mother, father, grandmother, and four other relatives after lacing the family meal with a sedative. The family wouldn't let them marry because they belong to the same gotra, a group descended from a common ancestor. • Ron Paul on his appearance in the film Brüno: "I don't feel good about it because I was the subject of a trick, and nobody likes to be tricked. I understand they're not making a tremendous amount of money off this movie, so maybe the American people aren't as cynical as they assumed." •

[Dadaab, Kenya; August 23. Image via Getty]

DADAAB, KENYA - AUGUST 23: A woman leans against a tree in the world's biggest refugee complex August 23, 2009 in Dadaab, Kenya. The Dadaab refugee complex in northeastern Kenya, which consists of three separate camps, has been in operation for 18 years and is currently home to some 289,500 people. Most of the residents of the camps are Somalis who are fleeing escalating violence in their country. Dadaab currently holds three times as many people for which it was designed, with 43,000 refugees arriving from Somalia this year alone. Concerned over the deteriorating situation in Dadaab, the Kenyan government has recently commenced a move of some refugees to another camp that is a three-day bus ride away. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images) > on August 23, 2009 in Dadaab, Kenya. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

[Dadaab, Kenya; August 21. Image via Getty]

DADAAB, KENYA - AUGUST 21: Mako Bakar Bakaro, who lost a leg in fighting in Mogadishu, Somalia in 2008, stands against the wall of her hut August 21, 2009 in Dadaab, the world�s biggest refugee complex in Dadaab, Kenya. Mako's husband was killed in the fighting. The Dadaab refugee complex in northeastern Kenya consists of three separate camps and has been in operation for 18 years and is currently home to some 289,500 inhabitants. Most of the residents of the camps are Somalis who are fleeing escalating violence in that country. Dadaab currently holds three times as many people as it was designed for with 43,000 refugees arriving from Somalia this year alone. Concerned over the deteriorating situation in Dadaab, the Kenyan government has recently begun moving some refugees to another camp which is a three day bus ride away. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

[Dadaab, Kenya; August 19. Image via Getty]

DADAAB, KENYA - AUGUST 19: Women wait to receive medicine inside of a Doctors Without Borders (Medecins Sans Frontieres) medical station in Dadaab, the world�s biggest refugee camp August 19, 2009 in Dadaab, Kenya. The Dadaab refugee complex in northeastern Kenya consists of three separate camps and has been in operation for 18 years and is currently home to some 289,500 inhabitants. Most of the residents of the camps are Somalis who are fleeing escalating violence in that country. Dadaab currently holds three times as many people as it was designed for with 43,000 refugees arriving from Somalia this year alone. Concerned over the deteriorating situation in Dadaab, the Kenyan government has recently begun moving some refugees to another camp which is a three day bus ride away. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

[Nairobi, August 18. Image via Getty]

NAIROBI, KENYA - AUGUST 18: A woman walks down the street in Eastleigh, a predominantly Muslim Somali neighborhood on August 18, 2009 in Nairobi, Kenya. Referred to locally as 'Little Mogadishu', Eastleigh is home to thousands of Somalis who have fled war-ravaged Somalia in recent years. Over 300,000 refugees have left Somalia and have headed to neighboring Kenya, with most residing in the overcrowded Kenyan camps of Dadaab. Kenyan officials and western security services are becoming increasingly concerned that radical Islamists, specifically members of Al-Shabaab, are also settling in the Eastleigh neighborhood where they could use it as a base to plan future attacks throughout the Horn of Africa. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

[Kisaju, Kenya; August 16. Image via Getty]

KISAJU, KENYA - AUGUST 16: A woman, a member of the Maasai ethnic group, follows her family as they move with their cattle in search of grassland to graze their herd on August 16, 2009 in Kisaju, Kenya. As Kenya continues to suffer from a devastating drought, some of which is man made, the Maasai people have been afflicted by a lack of traditional grassland and water for their herds. Some Maasai have been forced to travel with their herds as far as Tanzania and to the outskirts of Nairobi in search of elusive grass. Some parts of Kenya have not witnessed any significant rainfall for two years. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

[Nairobi, August 6. Image via Getty.]

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (R) gestures as she stands with survivors, after laying a wreath of flowers on the site, August 6, 2009,of the bombings against the US embassy in Nairobi that killed 213 people in 1998. Clinton, who kicked off a seven-nation, 11-day tour of Africa in Nairobi two days earlier, took part in a wreath-laying ceremony where she renewed her administration's commitment to combat extremism in the region and elsewhere. AFP PHOTO/ SIMON MAINA (Photo credit should read SIMON MAINA/AFP/Getty Images)

• Leighton Meester made the September cover of Harper's Bazaar, and inside the magazine printed digitally-altered photos of the actress, intended to show how she will age. At 23, Meester is already a supporter of Botox. [WWD]

• Three little words: Rodarte for Target. This December. Fashionistas all over this country are going to be wetting themselves and there aren't even any pictures yet. [WWD]
• In terms of irrepressibly stupid shit, $450 Louis Vuitton chopsticks pretty much takes the sushi. [FWD]
• Nicole Richie, on her new maternity line for A Pea In The Pod: "You really feel like you have to change your whole wardrobe. And that's the last thing a woman wants to go through. So I really tried to make this line to get women excited about wearing clothes." [People]
• Somebody put photos of Alexander McQueen's former London home on the Internet. Creepy. [SB]
• Add this to the mounting pile of reasons to give London Fashion Week a look this season: a photographic exhibition dedicated to Twiggy will open on September 19, the same day as the shows, at the National Portrait Gallery. Twiggy turns 60 this year. [Telegraph]
• 18-year-old American model Ali Stephens, who still dreams of being a marine biologist, struggles to balance her education with her work schedule. "Being in school got hard because I was never there. I switched to online schooling, but that didn't work either because I never had time to do it. When I was working I couldn't do it, and when I wasn't working, I just wanted to relax. It was hard to motivate. So right now I'm studying for my GED. I'm going to take it before fashion week." [W]
• Milla Jovovich, on life's greatest pleasure, reading: "Recently I read all Edith Wharton's classics and I re-read all of Dickens. I love books about turn-of-the-century New York. I just finished Maggie: A Girl Of The Streets by Stephen Crane. I had a phase of reading books about 'new physics' and I love to read Scientific American and New Scientist magazines. I read so much I am like a zombie in the morning." [Daily Mail]
• Princess Grace of Monaco and Cartier are getting stars on the Rodeo Drive Walk of Style. [WWD]
• Roberto Cavalli, you tease! The Italian designer, who for most of this year has toyed with the idea of selling a stake in his fashion house, and released many contradictory statements on the subject, finally committed to sell — but he has now allowed talks to break down with Clessidra SpA. The private equity firm that had wanted to buy a 30% stake in his company was apparently disappointed by the designer's reluctance to negotiate on his high price. [WWD]
• Tommy and Dee Hilfiger are now parents to a baby boy, Sebastian Thomas, born yesterday. Congratulations to them. [WWD]
• Katie Grand's second issue of Love magazine features Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. What? [Fashionologie]
• Kanye West is in New York today to fête Casio G-shock watches. The brand is launching new timepieces designed by Redman, Mister Cartoon, and Todd Jordan — but none from Kanye, yet. [WWD]
• Although the African Growth and Opportunity Act, signed into law by President Clinton in 2000, was intended to offer certain sub-Saharan African companies a break on U.S. trade tariffs to encourage African countries to diversify their economies and manufacturing bases, nearly a decade on, 92% of trade done under the act is in petroleum products. And in Kenya, where apparel manufacture had been a growth industry until this recession began, most of the factories that produce clothing for export under the act are owned by American and Chinese companies. Kenya's apparel sector still employs 26,000 people, and their working conditions are governed by the act, which sets limits on work hours, mandates overtime payments, and bans child labor. [LATimes]
• Urban Outfitters' $24 knockoff of the 3 Moon Wolf tee is imported — but we'll wager not from Kenya. Which means that the t-shirt makers, New Hampshire company The Mountain, and the original artist, Antonia Neshev, probably aren't being paid for their work. Urban Outfitters rips off pretty much everyone, but it's sad to see them kicking around a company that uses environmentally-friendly inks and provides on-site daycare for its employees. Strangely, Urban Outfitters seems to be banking both on the shirt's notoriety, and on its customers not being able to use a computer to navigate to the Amazon sales page, where the original 3 Wolf Moon tee is for sale starting at just $11. [FishbowlLA]
• Iconix Brand Group, which owns everything from Candie's to Badgley Mischka, reports a 32% rise in second quarter profit, to $19.3 million. [Crains]
• Polo Ralph Lauren's first quarter profit dropped 19%. [WSJ]
• Gucci is going to open a traveling pop-up store, to hopefully sell some sneakers Mark Ronson designed at Art Basel Miami and other wealthy world hotspots. [WWD]
• Torrid's holding a model search — so if you or someone you know is a size 12-26 and really, really, ridiculously good-looking, send in some pictures! Deadline's Friday, so act quick. [Torrid]

We mentioned earlier that efforts to increase the number of girls' football teams in Uganda are being met with resistance. Many traditionalists in the neighboring country of Kenya were also hostile to the idea when Unicef launched the Ukunda Queens football team in the Islamic province of Kwale, according to The Times of London. "Starting a girls' football league seemed like a crazy idea at first," said Roselyn Mutemi-Wangahu, the team's coordinator, "We had to reach those girls. They don't stay in school or go to organised groups. Their parents keep them at home," she explained. "We had to bring them together to raise their confidence and teach them about HIV. Here, the one thing that brings everyone together is soccer."

Girls in Kwale have some of the lowest levels of education in Kenya, and traditional views toward women are especially oppressive there. In the province, girls are not allowed to speak to their fathers directly, may be sent back to their parents if they refuse to have sex with their husband, and are often beaten. Teenage girls are seven times more likely to contract HIV than boys of the same age, and the "treatments" make matters even worse. Witchdoctors in Kwale encourage people to have sex with HIV-infected patients, and some believe girls should sleep with their father and uncles to "make them fat and strong" and "open the door to other men."

Initially locals were hostile to the idea of a girls' football league. Anisa Kombo, 23, who is on the Ukunda Queens said that older men used to harass them during their early matches. She said:

When they saw us playing they cursed us. Some Muslim leaders said that we were being led into prostitution. Other boys and girls called us lesbians. Here the idea is that the woman stays in the kitchen. A girl may never set foot in school and can be married off at 12.

But eventually, people started to accept the league because the girls on the team were receiving HIV/AIDS education. A local man said, "According to our traditions, what they are doing is wrong but if it's about HIV, it's acceptable."

After the foundation of the Ukunda Queens, football league district chairmen Mohamed Said Mwakulola says he started going door to door trying to persuade more parents to let their daughters join teams. "It took three years, one step at a time," he says, explaining that in some cases it took more than a year to build a full team. The league, which is part of Unicef's Kick Aids project, has expanded, and now there are thousands of women's teams in Kenya. "There has been a change in our community in letting the girls play football - and it gives me hope," said Mwakulola.

Kenyan Women United In Freedom And Football [The Times of London]

Earlier: Kicking Old Habits

[Nairobi, May 14. Image via Getty]

A Kenyan woman protests outside a court in downtown Nairobi on May 14, 2009. A Kenyan court today sentenced Thomas Cholmondeley, the scion of the country's foremost family of white settlers, to eight months in prison for shooting dead a black poacher on his ranch. The Eton-educated aristocrat had been convicted of manslaughter over the death of Robert Njoya in May 2006 but Cholmondeley has only admitted to shooting dogs on his 22,250-hectare (55,000-acre) Rift Valley ranch. AFP PHOTO/Roberto SCHMIDT (Photo credit should read ROBERTO SCHMIDT/AFP/Getty Images)

Following Liberia's example, Kenya's Women's Development Organization has called for women to go on sex strike in protest of government unrest, hoping to forestall the bloodshed that wracked the country after last year's elections. Recently bickering has threatened the fragile coalition that formed only after 1,000 people were killed in power struggles. A statement, quoted by the AP, declares, "The women of this country will not ... allow its political leadership to lead it back onto a slippery journey to ... violence and absolute chaos." They hope the week-long strike will result in talks between warring factions.

Says WDO's chairwoman, "We have looked at all issues which can bring people to talk and we have seen that sex is the answer...It does not know tribe, it does not have a (political) party and it happens in the lowest households." Adds Patricia Nyaundi, executive director of the Federation of Women Lawyers (Fida), to VOA, "Great decisions are made during pillow talk, so we are asking the two ladies at that intimate moment to ask their husbands: 'Darling can you do something for Kenya?'" Eleven women's groups are participating in the strike, which adds up to several thousand women. The group says they are paying prostitutes to strike, too. The movement got a boost when the Prime Minister's wife, Ida Odinga, joined the strike yesterday, saying, according to UPI, "If some women have decided, we have all decided."

Not shockingly, in a country in which polygamy is still legal, the strike's meeting with resistance. According to the BBC, "Our correspondent says some would argue that Kenyan men cannot even abstain for two days. Kenyan legislator David Musila told VOA,

It is a shame. It is a shame that these women can make such a statement. First of all, in my view, it is un-African, and these are some of the things in Africa we don't talk openly about, sex in front of children, and so on. And therefore, I think they are misguided and in any case, who is going to supervise and see that the boycott is implemented? It is just rubbish."

The morality argument is not limited to men; says the vice chairwoman of Maendeleo ya Wanawake, Rahab Muiu "As the largest women's organization in the country, we strongly believe in family values and cannot be associated with such foul utterances which can only break families,"

We imagine plenty of feminists could find the strike problematic for very different reasons. What's one thing in Lysistrata is quite another in 2009 - but then, so is polygamy and disenfranchisement. As Anna put it to me, "If it works, well, that's good. But it makes me sad for mankind - with an emphasis on man."

Kenyan Legislator Calls Women's Sex Strike Threat Reprehensible [VOA]
Kenyan Women Hit Men With Sex Ban [BBC]
Kenyan Sex Strikers Protest Political Strife [NBC]
Wife Of Kenyan PM Joins Sex Strike [UPI]

• A new study has linked the height of mothers to the risk of death among young children in India. Researchers report that children born to short women were 70 percent more likely to die before the age of 5. • According to the Journal of Consumer Research people are more likely to chose high fat options from a menu that also contains diet foods than one that is strictly high-calorie treats. • Researchers have found that walnuts may be the best thing to eat if you want to reduce your chances of getting breast cancer. • Numbers of wild grazing animals in Kenya's Maasai Mara National Reserve have fallen substantially in the past 15 years, according to a new report. Researchers cite competition with human settlements as the reason for this sad news. • Casey Anthony's parents told the Early Show this morning that they believe their daughter is innocent, and they don't think Casey should accept a plea deal. •  Police say that a mother from White Plains, NY, stopped her car in the business district, and ordered her two daughters, ages 10 and 12, to get out, and drove away. • After requesting suggestions from the public, the Columbus Ohio Zoo has received 9,000 name submissions for their new baby elephant. Popular choices include Barack, Obama, Dumbo, Peanut, and Jack. • From the New York Times comes this new bit of celebrity vocab: The Brando Problem: "the case of a major public figure who dies and leaves behind a potent if contradictory image and no clear commercial legacy." • St. David's, a prestigious 300-year-old girls school in Britain, has announced that its closing, due to the faltering economy. • Two mothers/gang members from Southern California have been placed under arrest for attempting to induce labor in order to have their children born on April 20th, Hitler's birthday. • A new study has found that sexual harassment from males can prevent female bonding - at least among fish. • Saved by the bra: a 57-year-old woman escaped serious injury when a bullet fired at her from next door hit the underwire in her bra. • Baghdad is experiencing a bit of a wedding boom, as couples who had previously put their lives on hold try to make up for lost time. •  A non-profit organization called "Buzzfree Prom" has pulled one of its ads after receiving complaints over its homophobic content. • A new study suggests that divorce is not entirely acceptable in American culture - it may be tolerated, but many still feel that divorce is somehow morally ambiguous. •  There's been another Craigslist-related attack, this time in Tacoma, WA. A mother and her son were attacked by a hammer-wielding man, who lured them to his apartment by posting a listing for a used car. •  Karen Burns, author of a book of advice for the "working girl," suggests that the reason women are paid less then men is because we are not focused enough. She advises women to "juggle less, focus more." • KMSP Fox 9 in the Twin Cities has canceled its plans for a segment on child abduction, which would have featured a reporter driving around in a van and asking children for directions. • Nadja Benaissa, the German pop star accused of recklessly spreading HIV, has been released from police custody. • 

So far, JR has shot in Kenya, Sierra Leone, Liberia, and the favela of Morro da Providência, Brazil for the project he calls "Women Are Heroes." He then sticks his pictures to the sides of buses, trains, buildings, and pavement, transforming the towns in which these women live into testaments to their strength and forbearance. Part art, part advocacy campaign, JR collaborates with Doctors Without Borders. And all the images the self-taught photographer captures with his 28mm camera are transfixing.

Pictures of the sites are then included in JR's exhibits  last year, he hit up the Tate Modern in London, and this year he'll be showing in Paris  in what the artist says is his attempt to show that women around the world are all connected.

Previously, the artist worked on a project called Face 2 Face, where he took portraits of Israelis and Palestinians, and posted them on opposite sides of the effective borders.

Intended to underscore the similarities between the two groups of people, the project spawned a number of international exhibitions, and a book.

Like Banksy with a social conscience to match his street-art trickster wiles, JR plans to work more on Women Are Heroes by traveling to countries including India, Laos and Cambodia this year. We wish him well.

Women Are Heroes [Official Site]
Face 2 Face [Official Site]
JR-Art [Official Site]

The Washington Post reports that since the election, Barack Obama's 87-year-old grandmother, Sarah Ogwel Onyango, has been struggling to adjust to media attention, bodyguards, and crowds around her home in Kogelo, Kenya. "Mama Sarah," stepmother to Obama's late father, has had her home outfitted with new trim, running water, and electricity by the Kenyan government, which has designated the house part of a new Presidential Heritage Tourist Circuit.

But while her new fame has brought some improvements, she has also had her movement restricted. After an attempted burglary last year, an eight-foot wire-mesh fence was put up around her house and security guards were posted 24 hours a day. While her day is now filled with visits from groups of tourists and Kenyan officials, she rarely leaves her house and some of her friends have stopped visited due to the increased security. "Before, Mama Sarah used to move about freely," said her neighbor Mark Ogola. "These days she is confined at home  she can rarely be seen . . . If you have been used to mixing with people and all of a sudden everything changes, I suppose that can make you feel miserable."

Even Obama's second and third cousins, nephews and half uncles and aunts have had to adjust to being related to the future President. Many of them are peasant farmers who now take breaks from their work to talk to journalists and visitors. Obama's cousin Hussein Onyango offers tours of a mat on the dirt floor that marks where Obama slept when he visited Kenya in 1987. Jimmy Hays Obama, 18, a distant relation of the President-elect, says that his teachers now expect him to be more capable and his classmates expect him to buy them Fanta soft drinks. His grandfather, Charles Oluoch, said he tells people, "Look at me, do I look like someone who has money?" and points out his frayed pants and chronic unemployment. "The African way is that if your relative rises, he's supposed to help all his family. I try to explain to people that in America, it's not that way. In America, you can't give your relatives jobs. There are laws. But they are not convinced," he said.

Obama's closest living relative, his half-sister Maya Soetoro-Ng is also dealing with newfound celebrity status, according to another Washington Post report, though she is clearly more familiar with what being famous in America entails. On Saturday, she attended the Asia Society's inaugural reception in D.C. and was calm and steady as she addressed the room packed with people snapping pictures of her on cellphone cameras. She came prepared with a funny quip, remained unflustered when her cell phone rang while she was speaking, and coyly deflected questions as to whether the rumors that she's moving to Washington are true, saying, "It's a beautiful city. I'd love to spend more time here." Somehow we think she will be pretty soon.

A Kenyan Transition To Power [The Washington Post]
Obama's Sister Maya Is Early Inaugural Star [The Washington Post]

ANA MARIE: I don't think I'm going to see "W." It looks like it's TRYING to be funny. And Oliver Stone movies are the most amusing when the humor is completely unintentional.

MEGAN: I believe it is trying to be funny.

ANA MARIE: Chris and I watch "JFK" pretty much every time it's on basic cable. Now THAT is a funny movie. I mean, Joe Pesci in a leotard and fucking Kevin Bacon? Pretending to do amyl nitrate? You don't make that funnier just by saying they're playing Republican political leaders. Because then it's just a documentary.

MEGAN: Joe Pesci in a leotard is basically the nightmare I hadn't yet had, so I'll report back tomorrow on my utter lack of sleep tonight. In my mind's eye, it's purple and there is a tutu involved. And he pirouettes up to a car and proceeds to beat someone with a tire iron.

ANA MARIE: It's actually gold lame and he's (or Kevin Bacon, I forget) is dressed as Hermes. Seriously: one of America's finest cinematic events.

MEGAN: Ok, I'm just going to pretend it is Kevin Bacon. Now that I'm thinking about Kevin Bacon boogeying in a gold lame unitard.

ANA MARIE: Perhaps dancing in a county where DANCING HAS BEEN OUTLAWED? That's probably as good a segue as we're going to get to talking about McCain, btw.

MEGAN: And suddenly, in the movable diorama that it my imagination, the tiny, gold lame unitard clad Kevin Bacon stopped his dancing, and hangs his head with sadness as the old man stumbles out and starts yelling at him to get off his lawn or he's going to nuke it.

ANA MARIE: I was watching "Morning Joe" earlier and they were joking around with Robert Gibbs about something or other and he brought up the "get off my lawn" trope and I thought: That's just really unfair to people who legitimately care about their lawns. McCain's commitment to lawns is just base-pleasing pander. Besides, McCain lives in a condo.

MEGAN: Well, in one of his residences, yes.

ANA MARIE: Also? I think McCain lost Scarborough a long time ago, but the happy-happy jokey-joke with Gibbs was still kind of amazing. Not as amazing, however, as McCain loosing Peggy Noonan. Did you hear about that?

MEGAN: I saw Peggy speak last weekend, but I was very hung over.

ANA MARIE: Yesterday on "Hardball" she said she "doesn't know" who she's going to vote for.

MEGAN: She doesn't like the faux populism, which she considers empty and stupid and not a strategy as much as a pander.

ANA MARIE: And I think she once accidentally threw her baseball into McCain's lawn. (It's very hard to stay away from that joke)

MEGAN: (I'm okay with that.) So, why is McCain so fucking angry this week? Because he's losing? And will he lose it on stage tonight?

ANA MARIE: I don't think he's any angrier this week than in the past. He's just taking more pleasure in it. And as for "losing it"... I guess that's why he can't look at Obama, maybe? It's funny how the right makes fun of the liberal "grievance industry" but, essentially, what McCain is mad about is being treated unfairly. To which I believe the traditional R rejoinder is "Well, life isn't fair."

MEGAN: Well, he understands life isn't fair. He was tortured! Didn't you know he was tortured?

ANA MARIE: I am familiar with the outlines of that story, yes. I can't decide if McCain is going into this debate tonight with ridiculously high expectations or if he's entering Palin territory: like, as long as he doesn't forget what day it is, he'll be fine. This is assuming he knows what day it is to begin with.

MEGAN: Well, it's his format, right? He's Mr. Town Hall, he's going to kill tonight and between that and the torture experiences with which I am sure he will make more Americans more familiar, he will be made President as is only his due because life isn't fair. By the way, are you as familiar with Obama's supposed terrorist leanings and his radical friends and whatnot as with McCain's experience as a tortured and yet still heroic POW? Because if you're not, Fox News has a show for you. It sadly doesn't feature Jerome Corsi who has been unavoidably detained in Kenya for working without a work visa. I know I should be all like "free press! free press!" but it made me just a teensy bit pleased in a way I don't like to admit.

ANA MARIE: My favorite thing about the Corsi story is the quote from the Kenyan official, who basically admits they arrested him because, you know, he's an asshole. And,

"We still haven't decided what to do with him."

I kind of feel the same way!

MEGAN: If being an asshole is illegal in Kenya, I guess we know where John McCain won't be visiting...

ANA MARIE: Or either of us, for that matter. Were you shocked to learn about that "new poll of 600 female voters found that most view Hillary Clinton as a better mom, role model and leader than Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the first woman to be named to a Republican ticket"? Because I sure was! I mean, for Palin to come in second... if it were fair, she'd come in behind "a comfy chair" in all those categories.

MEGAN: Actually, I think the right word my be "flabbergasted." You mean, Americans aren't buying her shtick? I feel like I might have underestimated Americans. I mean, except the ones calling Obama a terrorist at McCain rallies and threatening to kill him at Palin rallies.

ANA MARIE: Yeah, that does not reflect well on the Silent Majority, does it? Or rather, it explains why they are usually asked to stay silent.

MEGAN: Well, and the Palin supporter who told an African-American sound guy to "sit down, boy" at the Palin rally. I thought we had all agreed that it was unacceptable to be an open racist in modern American society? Wasn't there a consensus or a referendum or something?

ANA MARIE: Good thing that black people at Palin rallies are pretty rare!

MEGAN: Hell, I'd make myself scarcer than a condom in the Palin house were I African-American at one of those.

ANA MARIE: And as for that referendum, I believe that's scheduled for the first Tuesday of November.

MEGAN: I'm just going to go waaaaaaaay out on a limb here and suggest that racism will still exist in this country even if Obama gets elected.

ANA MARIE: But it no longer will be the first thing other countries think of when we come up.

MEGAN: That said, where would racists threaten go to avoid an Obama Presidency? Liberals are all, like, going to Canada or France, but it seems like racists hate everyone else.

ANA MARIE: Iceland is apparently in a real financial crisis right now, so a loose coalition of rich racists could probably pick it up cheap. And you don't get countries much whiter.

MEGAN: I don't think that there are enough dirty hooker toes in Iceland for Dick Morris, though.

ANA MARIE: And with that advice, I feel like my dream of ridding the country of racists is one step closer to reality.

MEGAN: We're sorry Iceland! You guys can come here, there might be a lot of space available. And, um, bring the Penis Museum for safekeeping.

ANA MARIE: Aye. Dick Morris. Why is he still appearing in public? Besides being the George Michael of toe-sucking jokes, why do I know ANYTHING MORE ABOUT HIM besides that? Who can I blame?

MEGAN: Have you seen his teeth recently? He's rather obviously still at it.

ANA MARIE: Never has a sexual fetish seemed more poetically appropriate, really. It'd be like finding out that Todd Palin likes to cross-dress. Almost too perfect.

MEGAN: See, I think cross-dressing would be too vanilla for Todd Palin. He's more like mint chocolate chip, you have to throw in a little pegging or something to make it work.

ANA MARIE: Cross dressing and dungeons.

MEGAN: I bet Sarah Palin has been wondering for a while why her nice underwear keeps getting all stretched out.

ANA MARIE: Oh, oh, oh: This is teh awesome. That awful American Carol movie? Apparently it is tanking because of a liberal conspiracy! Not because it sucks ass (or toes).

MEGAN: And not because it sucks? Also, since when to theatre owners have a political agenda that doesn't involve making money?

ANA MARIE: That's what happened with Ishtar, too, right?

MEGAN: Fucking radical commie theatre owners, trying to keep conservative movies down and out. You know they're just doing it to make sure W. does better, which it will and not just because it has, like, recognizable actors and a famous director and shit.

ANA MARIE: Well, theater-owners bias toward experimental liberal films is well-documented. And that why the megaplex down the street has five screens showing Reds.

MEGAN: It's like you think you're going to see the Batman movie and SHAZAM!! you're being indoctrinated again.

ANA MARIE: And the Koyaanisqatsi midnight showing. It's like Rocky Horror Picture Show but with people dressed as mountains.

MEGAN: And throwing glitter for snow. Unlike Rocky, though, it totally ends in a plushie orgy. Because that's what radicalized Commies do. It's why they never really succeeded  too busy fucking to fuck shit up.

ANA MARIE: And then everyone gets quiet for the five minute shot of a plane taking off. (Which is an actual scene in the movie. And, fwiw, I'm sure it does get Todd Palin hard.)

MEGAN: But, really, what doesn't get Todd Palin hard? I'm sure even Joe Pesci in a leotard and tutu holding a tire iron would do it.

• Matrimonial lawyers say they are seeing weight and sex clauses in prenups. • Women with bulimia and borderline personality disorder may benefit from a new form of "life skills-based" therapy called Dialectical behavior therapy. • UK Muslim women get their own Muslim-focused women's magazine, Sisters, which initially started out as a website but is debuting its printed form this summer. • A trouble-making magpie stole a woman's diamond engagement ring and kept it in its nest for 3 years. • A new, more "natural" cesarean birth has been developed that allows the woman's partner (as well as the woman herself) view the birth of the child. • The World Health Organization reports that a mix of poverty and social injustices has shortened the life expectancy of a female in Zambia to 43 years. • A new bill proposed by a Kenyan woman's rights group that would make it easier for women to get abortions is sparking debate about making abortion legal in Kenya. • A female Muslim journalist and amateur athlete discusses the stereotypes that some Muslims have against women participating in athletic activities. • The California Supreme Court ruled unanimously today that sexual assaults that leave victims pregnant constitute "great bodily injury" and warrant a more severe sentence for offenders. •