• Even though AMC has "formally exercised" its option for a third season of Mad Men, Producer Lionsgate and network AMC not only have no contract with series creator Matthew Weiner, they have not made deals with the cast, either! What will become of Don Draper? [Fox 411, Variety]
• Oh, Mad Men star John Slattery was overheard trashing other actors while having dinner in New York: "De Niro's a jerk!" he said. And! "I was thinking about doing something with [Al Pacino], but I was told to run - not walk - away from him, he's so unbearable." [Rush & Molloy]
• Angelina Jolie plans to adopt another Ethiopian baby in the New Year, to "bond" with daughter Zahara. [Mirror]
• John Mayer is winning Jennifer Aniston back with "soppy texts." A source says "He has even written a song about their time together and played it to Jennifer who, naturally, was incredibly touched." [Mirror]

• Speaking of texts, Paris Hilton has been texting Prince William after meeting him in a club. She invited him to a club opening in Las Vegas; he declined but is "up for a few drinks" the next time she's in town. [Mirror]
• Sam Ronson bought Lindsay Lohan a "£15,000 Ferrari red diamond encrusted Tiret," which is, apparently, a watch. [Mirror]
• Uh-oh, Sam and Lindsay had a fight on an Acela train to Washington! LL was "whining incessantly." When Lindsay would get up, Samantha would sigh and put her sweatshirt hood back up. Oh, and at some point, Lindsay said to Sam: "Don't fucking lie to me!" [Page Six]
• David Duchovny's 28-year-old Hungarian tennis coach, Edit Pakay, was asked if she'd had an affair with Duchovny. She answered: "I don't want to say anything that might hurt David. I am not going to deny it. I don't know what our relationship means to him." [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, Harper's Bazaar editor Glenda Bailey liked Kenley's designs best on Project Runway and thinks it's a shame she didn't win! Also, the post calls Leanne the "viewer favorite," even though the "fan favorite" was Korto, hello? [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate Olsen and some friends ate at a restaurant in NYC and left a big tip — as well as a wad of chewing gum — on the table. [Page Six]
• Madonna's divorce case will claim that Guy Ritchie was cruel and verbally abusive to her. A source says: "She is alleging he would tell her that she really should give up the live touring and that she 'looked like a granny' compared to the nubile youngsters dancing with her on stage." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Seems like Madonna and A-Rod were getting together when his wife was seven months pregnant. He had this apartment he never told his wife about, and Madonna would meet him there. [Fox 411]
• David Banda's biological father, Yohane Banda, says if he had known Madonna had plans to divorce Ritchie, he never would have agreed to let the celebrity couple adopt his 3-year-old son. [UPI, Times Of London]
• Madonna's publicist, Liz Rosenberg, notorious for lying, says the divorce settlement has not been finalized. [AP]
• Guy Ritchie's dad says it was "horrid" to read about Madge calling his son an "emotional retard" in front of fans. [The Sun]
• Madonna says Guy was "against" the adoption of David Banda. [The Sun]
• Um, this report says that Madonna wants to have a natural child with A-Rod. A friend says: "She thinks he's physically a great specimen. And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her." Gah. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna might not move to NYC after all; the kids are in school in London and she doesn't want to interfere with that. [Mirror]
• This report says Madonna thinks Guy is a gold-digger, and that the kids are home-schooled and go on the road with her. [The Sun]
• A source says of the Madonna/Guy split: "She’s got a team of Kabbalah advisers who guide her through her spiritual decisions. If they say something is justified, then she feels comfortable going ahead and doing it. It’s only going to get worse (the public jabs) if Kabbalah greenlights it. Expect ugliness of epic proportions." [MSNBC]
• Guy Ritchie maybe told friends that making love to Madonna was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle." [Daily Mail]
• Nicole Richie is the happiest she's ever been. "Parenthood is easier than I thought. Everybody was saying, before giving birth, sleep now because you'll never sleep with a baby but she sleeps 12 hours a day and I'm sleeping, too. She's the sweetest little angel." [The Sun]
• The Lost Madonna Tapes. Early songs. [The Daily Beast]
• Russell Simmons has a "bunch of money" tied up in a Lehman Brothers fund in London, but he says: "I don't worry about it. I have lots of staff members; I want to make sure everyone keeps getting fed." He does worry about the five charities he heads. "I’m not going to cut down on them so I can have another ride on a private plane." [NY Mag]
• So the son of the Beckhams' housekeepers, who's being held in an eBay investigation, used to dress up in Beckham's suits. [Mirror]
• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady: Getting hitched? They are planning a wedding reception at Tavern On The Green in NYC. [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham arrived in Madrid and asked that her suite have "only white colors" in it. White candles and white roses. No word on whether she only let white people in. [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise was seen posing on the streets of New York with Suri Cruise. Walking slowly, stopping at the car with the door open, just letting the paparazzi get pictures. "Exploiting" his daughter? Or making sure the photogs get what they want so they don't jostle and follow the car? [Perez Hilton]
• At a listening party, rapper Q-Tip was asked if he really dated Nicole Kidman. He said: "Yes, I did. So what?" [LA Times]
• Sean Penn is visiting Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. Again. The actor accompanied the President during the inspection of a natural gas pipeline on Sunday. [Yahoo News]
• Heidi Montag's ex-boyfriend, Jordan Eubanks, says: "Since dating Spencer [Pratt], Heidi's whole mentality has changed—everything has changed. She's done a total 180, and I think it's so sad." Plus! There's a pic of him with Heidi and she's got her old nose and boobs. [E!]
• Chris Martin was being interviewed and talking about how Gwyneth told him he could only leave her if it was for one of the chicks in Girls Aloud. He told her that she could leave for Irish singers Westlife. The interviewer said, "You could have at least told her Brad Pitt." To which Martin replied, "She was engaged to him, you fucker." Then Martin punched the guy and called him a "cunt." [Jossip]
• Chris Martin says he was "just fooling around" when he punched the reporter. [Rush & Molloy]
• Don Cornelius of Soul Train was arrested over the weekend on suspicion of domestic violence. [AP]
• Katie Price, aka Jordan, has walked out on husband Peter Andre. She's on the cover of the UK version of OK!. [Perez Hilton]
• Actor Gale Harold, of Desperate Housewives and Queer As Folk, was in a serious motorcycle accident last week. He had swelling on the brain and a fractured shoulder but is expected to recover. [Star]
• Oi! Amy Winehouse and David Beckham have the UK's "most hated celebrity accents." [The Star]
• Eminem's new book includes thoughts about the 2006 shooting death of his close friend and fellow D12 rapper Proof: "I have never felt so much pain in my life. It was tough for me to even get out of bed, and I had days when I couldn't walk, let alone write a rhyme." [People]
• Andy Dick has been ordered by a court to wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet for one year. Think he can last that long? [UPI]
• Ali Larter had an engagement party over the weekend. [People]
• Morgan Freeman has agreed to help kick off the first Blues at Moon Music Festival at Mississippi's Golden Moon Hotel and Casino in Choctaw, MS. [UPI]
• Sir Paul McCartney's new love, Nancy Shevell, has moved in. [The Sun]
• Headline of the day: "The Grandadiator: Russell Crowe's raging grandfather makes hellraising star look tame." [Daily Mail]
• Jeff Probst created a new show, Live Like You're Dying, for CBS. The gist: A person who has been given a terminal diagnosis with a finite amount of time to live will be taken "on the last adventure of their life." But it's not morbid! "The focus of the show is not death," says Probst. "The story we’re going tell is about living. This is a show that is intended to inspire everybody to get the most out of their lives every day." [EW]
• Carrie Fisher's memoir includes this info about Star Wars: She was looking at her white costume when director George Lucas said, "You can't wear a bra under that dress." "Why?" asked Fisher. "There's no underwear in space," he replied. [Page Six]
• Rihanna rode a Segway around the mall in Vegas, attempted to look cool while doing so. [Concrete Loop]
• A male friend of actress Bonnie Somerville was shot and wounded at a party in West Hollywood; it may have been a BB gun. [UPI]
• Jeremy Piven talks about being in Mamet's play Speed-The-Plow on Broadway: "I don’t think there would be an Entourage without David Mamet." [NY Times]
• Michael Kors: Spotted checking out pusses at the Cat Show in NYC! [Fey Friends]
• If Christie Brinkley's ex, Peter Cook, has a sex tape of himself with his teen mistress, it's a felony: She was 18 at the time and recorded without her knowledge. [NY Post]
• John Legend hearts Obama and the feeling is mutual. [Guardian]
• Liza Minnelli: On Broadway! Two weeks only! [Variety]
• Lily Tomlin wants Jenny, who's been working at the Dallas Zoo for 22 years, to retire. Jenny is a 32-year-old elephant; Tomlin wants her sent to a sanctuary. [MSNBC]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood cheated on his wife with Kelly LeBrock…in 1981. [Daily Mail]
• "I never got introduced to [Bond creator Ian Fleming] until I was well into the movie but I know he was not happy with me as the choice. What was it he called me, or told somebody? That I was an over-developed stunt man. He never said it to me. When I did eventually meet him he was very interesting, erudite and a snob – a real snob." — Sean Connery, recalling filming Dr. No. [Daily Express]

Kenley tells EW:

I teach sewing in New York. It's in the Fashion District, on 37th Street, called Sew Fast, Sew Easy. I teach a beginner's sewing class and intermediate pattern-making. I'm just trying to make some money right now. I lost all my money because I did Project Runway, and I'm just trying to get my money back, plus more. And it's working. I'm gonna expand my website and keep selling dresses.

Kenley swears her website, kenleycollins.com, where she sells headpieces, is doing really well, but it was down as of 11:15 this morning.

Kenley also knocks Korto's line: "Korto sent really bad, unfinished pieces down the runway, and underwear was showing, too. I don't care if you have the best line in the world, if your stuff is showing underwear, and it's unfinished, that's unacceptable at Bryant Park. That was really insulting, to have my beautiful, couture-made line come in third next to that was really insulting." Kenley also talks about the knock-off accusations (she thinks her floral dress looks "nothing like" Balenciaga) and says there's one good thing that came out of being on the show: "I came out of this competition with my two best friends, Stella and Daniel." Daniel is living with her, subletting her apartment. And Kenley talks to Stella every day!

As for Korto, who won $10,000 for being the "fan favorite," she says: "I'm still mad. I wanted to win… I'm glad that women got that I was fighting for the real women, women with curves, women that don't look like Heidi Klum. We need to go buy high-fashion stuff, and we want to look hot and sexy. Those are the people I design for. I represented for them, and I'm glad they got it." Korto is super close with Jerell, and fairly friendly with Leanne: "She's a classy lady. Kenley doesn't apologize for her statements." Korto's taking her family Liberia next year; she was invited to visit and design a gown for the president, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf. "Maybe I'll make Michelle Obama's inaugural dress," Korto sorta-jokes.

As for Leanne, she is super excited that Sarah Jessica Parker has asked for clothes. "I guess she watched the show […] and she wants to be my customer. It's amazing. When I was creating my collection, I listened to music all day, but at night I would kind of feel lonely and want someone to talk to, so I watched every episode of Sex and the City."

'Project Runway' Winner Leanne Dishes On Kenley And Her First Big Splurge [LA Times]
'Project Runway' Exit Q&A: Kenley Collins [EW]
'Project Runway' Runner-Up Q&A: Korto Momolu [EW]
'Project Runway' Q&A: Season 5 Winner Leanne Marshall [EW]

(Click on any image to begin galleries)

Kenley's collection was first. The judges liked the bright color palette and the fact that each piece was unique and different. Michael Kors said it was "full of charm" and had "a lot of personality." Tim Gunn pointed out Kenley's "impeccable construction." Nina Garcia was worried that the floral dress was very Balenciaga and Kenley admitted: "I realized now maybe I need to do some research." Finally: Something got through that hard head! That said, I reluctantly admit that I liked Kenley's the best. It was whimsical and made getting dressed look like fun. Oh. But. At the runway show, when Kenley said, "No one touches my clothes," I was quoting Nell Carter. Gimme a break!

Korto's collection was inspired by nature. Michael Kors declared it "great." Tim Gunn said she "hit a bullseye." Heidi Klum thought some pieces were "overworked." My mom said she was the only one who made clothes women who are not stick figures could wear. I love Korto, but I didn't love this collection. I did feel awful when Korto did not win, and said, "My heart is bleeding."

Leanne, the slinky little Leanimal, was named the winner of Project Runway. Michael Kors said her "workmanship looked divine." Nina Garcia appreciated that her collection had diversity, showing skirts, jackets and long dresses. And honestly? Leanne created stunning, innovative pieces. Congrats, Leanne! And thank you, Project Runway, not only for being entertaining, but for showing the passion, craftsmanship and artisanal skills involved when people really love fashion. Get your shit together and come back in January.

Photography by Alex Wright.

Project Runway Season 5 [Bravo]

Kenley's dress was inspired by purple leaves. Jerell said it looked like "Kenley the dragon slayer" or a "purplezilla costume." Tim Gunn thought the bottom of dress looked like fish scales, which Kenley took as a compliment. I wanted to smack Kenley when she said, "I wasn't going for elegance, Heidi." You do not get snippy with Heidi Klum!

Guest Judge Georgina Chapman (sure, she runs evening gown company Marchesa, but she's also conveniently married to producer Harvey Weinstein!) loved Leanne's gown, which was inspired by a blurry picture of lavender flowers. But Michael Kors thought there was no "joy" in the elaborate ruching.

Michael Kors thought Korto's evening gown contained "every cliché." Nina Garcia seemed angry, and Georgina Chapman looked disappointed.

Jerell was the winner of this challenge, even though his hem was totally unfinished, messy and wonky. Still, his gown inspired by layers of rose petals was one of the better ones on the runway.

So: The "twist" is that all four designers will go home and create collections, even though only 3 will "compete" on the runway at Bryant Park. When I was watching the shows during Fashion Week, I felt sure that the three ladies were the three finalists; now I'm not so sure!

In case you want to see the collections again, find them here:
Project Runway Fashion Show: Jerell
Project Runway Fashion Show: Korto
Project Runway Fashion Show: Leanne
Project Runway Fashion Show: Kenley

Project Runway Season 5 [Bravo]

Leanne designed this country look for Korto. Nina Garcia didn't love it. Michael Kors thought it was like "a woman going out to eat ribs."

Kenley said, "Being sexed up by Jerell is a little scary." But she looked amazing, when she kept her mouth shut! Coworker Jessica wrote an email to me: "So I was watching with my friend Leah tonight, and she freaked out because Jerrell said his outfit was like the 'budussy cat dolls.' Apparently in and around DC, budussy means a rank combination of butt, dick, and pussy, otherwise known as the 'after sex smell.' I think it got past the censors because they had no idea what it meant." Hahahaha, ew! Anyway, the judges loved this look. Nina Garcia said it was revealing without being trashy, and Michael Kors agreed that it was not "vulgar." Guest judge LL Cool J looked like he wanted to eat Kenley up with a spoon. I liked it without the blue vest but whatevs.

Here is the "hip hop" fiasco that Kenley created for Leanne. Kenley tried to say that hip hop is all about attitude, and Leanne didn't bring any to the runway, and that's why the outfit didn't work. Sure, sure.

Korto was the winner of the challenge with this punk look she designed for Suede. LL thought it was "authentic."

Suede made this "rock and roll" outfit for Jerell, which Nina thought was too safe. She's right: It's rock and roll, but like Lenny Kravitz on laundry day. Suede was auf'd, so we no longer have to hear Suede talk about Suede in the third person. Bye Suede!

Project Runway Season 5 [Bravo]

Michael Kors thought Leanne's ensemble was old-fashioned, but I thought her little dress/jacket combo was super cute. Maybe the jacket shouldn't have been so boxy?

While creating this dress, Kenley said, "I know I'm gonna be in the top three. I should!" She also proudly explained that she never heeds the advice of wise éminence grise Tim Gunn. Sigh. That said, her Mini-me looked adorable and ridiculously happy in this retro confection.

The judges liked Korto's ensemble. Guest Judge Cynthia Rowley thought that this jacket looked expensive.

Nina Garcia on Suede: "I don't like this kind of printed dresses with this shape of a jacket. I have a lot of problems with this, basically. You know, that's just the tip of the iceberg. I will say no more." Suede: "Ouch." I cannot believe he did not go home.

Jerell was the winner of this challenge. He did make something really elegant, cool and appropriate for his client, but I wish they'd deducted points for that horrid Jolly Green Giant vegetation on his head at the judging. Look for his outfit in Elle magazine.

Did anyone else laugh out loud when Jerell said, "Come on, Joe, you can work on Nancy Regan tomorow?" HA! Joe's clichéd, "out of touch," Becky Home Ecky look sent him home. See ya, Joe!

Project Runway Season 5 [Bravo]

MEGAN: Good morning! Did you hear? Apparently Spain's President Zapatero is nearly as bad as Hugo Chavez or Fidel Castro. And Spain's apparently in Latin America.

JASON: I heard about that. Very maverick. But you must indulge me a brief veer off topic.

MEGAN: Okay, but first Russia and now Spain? Whatever happened to attacking Grenada?

JASON: Kenley? From Project Runway? You are just the FUCKING WORST EVER IN LIFE. You are an awful, undermining, leprous, personality-crippled knee biter whose every utterance causes me pain - like white hot needles. OH DEAR GOD BUT YOU ARE AWFUL KENLEY. AWFUL! I see that in the next episode, Tim Gunn tells you to lose the "sarcasm and the facetiousness," but what's left, Kenley? What's left? A thin puddle of oozing, malodorous pus with a tweaker's take on the 1950s? I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU LIKE I HATE FELINE LEUKEMIA.

Okay. So, now. Something about Spain?

MEGAN: Dodai's post on Project Runway will be up soon!!
Anyway, apparently, we're contemplating war with Spain, too. I guess once we're done bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bombing Iran.

JASON: Well, okay. Spain. Yes. McCain, he is Los Rebelde Original! Now he either HATES Spain or thinks they are part of Latin America or hears "Jose Zapatero" and thinks "Zapatista" or something. It's terrible. I don't hate Spain. I've never been there, but it's not because I hate Spain. As soon as the Spanish master crushed ice, I am going. Provided we are not BOMB BOMB BOMB LA BAMBAING them.

MEGAN: They put ice in sangria, just not Coke. It was a nice country. But, Iran, well, that's another story.

JASON: Well, that's a relief. Isn't Sangria banned in DC?

MEGAN: No! I have a friend who actually dug into this! In Virginia, the liquor distributors got a law passed that restaurants couldn't make sangria in advance (i.e., sell it by the glass) if it contained liquor and wine, and once it went into effect everyone pitched a fit so it's either been repealed or is about to be. Yes, I have friends enough into sangria that we looked up the legislative history when Jaleo was all "we can't sell it by the glass anymore."

Sarah Palin believes that Hillary Clinton should put aside partisanship and appear on stage with her for the sake of eventually bombing Iran and not the optics of the two of them on stage together.

JASON: Oh, well, Sarah Palin is going to reap the goddamned whirlwind if she keeps that shit up. She wants to wake up in bed with some animal that's been field-dressed by Harold Ickes? I sure would not. Speaking of, I love how they're making a big deal about Palin "going to the U.N." when she's apparently going to just be yelling at Ahmadinejad from the safety of Rudy Giuliani's cosmopolitan playground. She's going to CLARIFY her position on Iran? OOOOH. That's SURE to be REALLY interesting. For a woman who's touted as Alaska's Greatest Moosehunter, she seems to do a lot of shooting fish in a barrel.

Anyway, they should just send Amy Poehler. That way there would at least be one person there not offering a pale imitation of a stateswoman. And HRC can assiduously continue to not degrade her brand by equating it with Palin's.

MEGAN: Welll, but she'll meet other world leaders that also want to yell at A'jad. And then, as he exits, their eyes will meet across the plaza, the music will swell, the yelling people will seem to quiet around them. Time will stop as their love blossoms, Jason. It'll be a new era in America's policy toward Iran, one filled with musical montages, Central Park carriage rides and hot, sweaty sex between two uptight brunettes. And Hillary Clinton, with nearly as sensitive a gag reflex as my own (just ask Bill and that one ex-boyfriend of mine), needs not to hurl on camera, so she's opting to miss it.

JASON: Naturally, some of the Jewish organizations are seeking to have the invitation to Palin rescinded:

The National Jewish Democratic Council called late today for Palin's invitation to be lifted as well. "Monday's protest against Ahmadinejad is too important to be tainted by partisanship," Marc R. Stanley, the council's chairman, said in a statement. "Unfortunately, the campaign of Senator John McCain is much more interested in scoring political points than insuring there is bipartisan solidarity around the anti- Ahmadinejad efforts.

"Therefore, we call upon the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations to withdraw the invitation to Governor Sarah Palin and we applaud Senator Hillary Clinton's decision to not attend the rally after the attendance of Palin was announced."

MEGAN: It probably doesn't help that the Republican Jewish Coalition is running anti-Obama push polls.

JASON: And that's what happens when your convention speech includes a drop in, quoting Westbrook Pegler.

MEGAN: Oh, well, sure. But Palin's a Republican. Quoting notorious anti-Semites who also advocated for the assassination of RFK is cool as long as you're deeply committed to hating Iran and the Palestinians and whomever else we're supposed to hate. It's such a long list, I keep forgetting it all.

JASON: Half the country is on that list!

MEGAN: And like most of the rest of the world, it seems.
Anyway, so, someone hacked Palin's email. Yawn.

JASON: Yes. I saw that. Sort of couldn't avoid that!

MEGAN: Oh, wait, it proves that — as she's all but admitted to — she uses her personal e-mail for business. Great. Well, now that it's been hacked, both accounts are wiped from the servers and can't be retrieved. Way to go hackers! I know this because my Yahoo account got hacked a few months back and the guy erased my entire inbox and Yahoo was like, well, it's gone. Sorry.

JASON: Yeah. Naturally, there doesn't seem to have been anything INTERESTING in her inbox. Pictures of her family. Some phone numbers. Someone wrote her an email telling her that God was awesome.

MEGAN: God is pretty awesome, She and I totally get beer together sometimes and bitch about men. She apologizes for fucking that up a little, but free will seemed like a good idea at the time.

JASON: Real game-changing stuff! But Gawker got it, and the pageviews that come along with it. So, that will all be a part of one Nick's "SUCK IT ALEX AND CHOIRE, LOOK AT MY TOTALLY AWESOME SITEVIEWS" posts.

MEGAN: Which I read with rapt attention and think are incredibly genius. You know that.
[Tries to distract Jason with shiny things] Hey, look, Palin's the CEO of Alaska!

JASON: I view myself as the CEO of my junk.

Oh. I am petitioning Arlington County High Schools to get Nick's posts entered into the AP English curriculum. Honestly, they are an improvement over TESS OF THE D'URBERVILLES.

MEGAN: I mean, though, what isn't an improvement over Tess? It's not Hardy's best work. There's no metaphorical emasculation through inadvertent castration. (Yes, I've read a lot of Thomas Hardy. Who can identify that book and impress me?)

JASON: See. That's what Nick provides! Metaphorical emasculation!
Speaking of Fiorina, Sam Stein told me yesterday, upon his return from seeing Our Lady Of The Elite Elitism Haterz, that she used Fiorina's "captive to choice" line. Or whatever it was. The Democratic Party holds women captive on abortion? That one? That beautiful marriage of corporate PR and gender subjugation?

MEGAN: I know, except she called it a noose!

JASON: A noose? Nice.

MEGAN: But, you know, not around African-American women, of which she presumably knows many. Lynn Forester de Rothschild totally has black friends.

JASON: Oh. The Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild is straight gangsta. The Lady Lynn will take up the cause of ensuring women that they know they shouldn't be captive to the idea that they are more than a sack of meat to jack sperm into.

MEGAN: The tyranny of choice shall not ruin this great nation! Lynn, please come save me from my right to have an abortion if I get pregnant from a sexual assault, and stroke my hair at the hospital and tell me how good it feels that we didn't elect an elitist. And maybe could you help pay for my rape kit? 'Cause I'm gonna need the help once John McCain makes my health insurance unaffordable and Palin charges me for it.

Oh, God, Karl Rove speaks! He doesn't think everyone will love Palin forever, but someone forgot to let him know that the new talking point is not to call Obama a first-term Senator less they remind people that he's been in office in the Senate longer than she's been a governor.

JASON: I think Rove is late to the party with that revelation. But back to Fiorina, she's not only making sure women are held captive to choice, she made sure that American consumers weren't held captive to only being able to by quality computers, by ensuring them that they'd have the choice to buy Hewlett-Packards. Which are like a motherboard shoved inside a cows ass.

MEGAN: Wait, didn't Carly nearly ensure that no one had a choice to buy HPs, what with almost driving the country into the ground?

JASON: Yes. I didn't say Carly was GOOD at her job! Only that she got a shit ton of money to leave it. Yesterday, when I heard that McCain was going to make her disappear, I wondered if she was expecting another $21 million severance package.

MEGAN: Not even Karl Rove gets that much, and he doesn't suck at his job.

JASON: I'm not sure how this relates, but you want to know what the Sarah Palin baby name generator gave me for my name?

MEGAN: What?

JASON: Taupe Armageddon. So, what can I say. This Sarah Palin thing hasn't been ALL bad.

MEGAN: I think I might beat that: I am "Tangle Jig Palin."

JASON: OMG. We have the best Sarah Palin names ever.

MEGAN: My Sarah Palin child alter-ego should totally go hunting and drink beer with your Sarah Palin child alter-ego.

JASON: "Tangle Jig Palin" sounds like some sort of hallucinogenic tea!

MEGAN: Which we should drink deeply of while riding in an airplane shooting at wolves!

JASON: We will drink Sangria with Jose Zapatero! And visit Hillary Clinton in New York.

MEGAN: Who will totally be our mom's new BFF if only that mean Obama man will stop trying to come between them because they both totes know what sexism is like.

Photography by Alex Wright.
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