• Heidi Montag's Playboy shoot: Not that X-Rated. Sources say the mag had strict instructions when photographing her:

"No nipples, no vagina, no ass." Guess that's where she keeps her good Christian values? [TMZ]

• Madonna has signed on to appear as a mentor in the new season of UK reality show X Factor. Also guest starring: Robbie Williams, Whitney Houston and Rihanna. [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson is dating Alex Rodriguez and Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly is dating A-Rod rival Derek Jeter. Word is: "Things between the two photogenic actresses are frostier than the new stadium's $9 beer." [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley: Double-dating, chain smoking, tickling. [Page Six]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy's Stewie is gay. "We had an episode that went all the way to the script phase in which Stewie does come out. It had to do with the harassment he took from other kids at school. He ends up going back in time to prevent a passage in Leviticus from being written: 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind. It is an abomination.' But we decided it's better to keep it vague, which makes more sense because he's a 1-year-old. Ultimately, Stewie will be gay or a very unhappy repressed heterosexual. It also explains why he's so hellbent on killing [his mother, Lois] and taking over the world: He has a lot of aggression, which comes from confusion and uncertainty about his orientation." [Gatecrasher]
• When Kourtney Kardashian says she is "so shocked" by her pregnancy, you've got to wonder what she means: She knows how to get knocked up, right? Anyways, she says: We were in the Everglades and I kept feeling nauseous and sick. I just kept thinking something wasn't right. I went to the doctor and he confirmed the news. I was just so shocked." Kourtney has not revealed who impregnated her, but in the past she was linked to skateboarder Scott Disick, whose website notes: "As for girls, he was known as being able to manipulate them into anything." [People]
• Anna Faris and Chris Pratt: Married. And it happened it Bali on July 9. As you'll recall, they were seen on what was thought to be a wedding trip in Hawaii in late July, then her rep said it wasn't true that they'd gotten hitched in Hawaii. Which wasn't exactly a lie. [People]
• Kate Gosselin on Jon Gosselin's relationship(s): "It is hurtful. Very hurtful. To be very honest, the most hurtful part is when his decisions directly affect our children. That's the hardest part for me." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There" will be remade with John Mayer, Lionel Richie, Whitney Houston, Usher, Dionne Warwick, Wyclef and Jermaine Jackson. Larry King's wife Shawn is spearheading the tribute, which will either be awesome or awful. [TMZ]
• …And Shawn King has just pulled out of a duet with Jermaine Jackson she was supposed to do in Vienna. [Page Six]
• Jennie Garth basically confirms that Robert Pattinson is dating Kristen Stewart by saying, "I can't say [which New Moon costar] …but he is dating one of them!" Oh man, it's Buff Werewolf, isn't it? Remember when they held hands? [Gatecrasher]
• "David Beckham disappoints Chelsea and Tottenham by insisting AC Milan is most likely destination for England star." [Daily Mail]
• "Beckhams set to swap LA for Italy?" [Mirror]
• Is Denzel Washington — like so many other Hollywood types — looking to make a living in TV? He's considering an executive producer role on a cop drama called Billy Stiles, written by Virgil Williams, who has penned scripts for 24 and ER. [Reuters]
• Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett: Expecting a boy.
  "Whether this little guy is a jock or not, he's definitely going to be a mama's boy," Kendra says. "And there's no doubt he's gonna be a handsome one … just look at his dad!" [People]
• Rebecca Romijn is giving husband Jerry O'Connell diaper duty while she works on new show Eastwick. This column calls him Mr. Mom, but shouldn't it just be "Dad"? [People]
• Glenn Close used to be in Up With People?!?!? [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas has released a statement regarding his son, Cameron, being busted for meth and thrown in jail for heroin: "The family is devastated and very disappointed in Cameron's recent behavior. Any family who has dealt with substance abuse knows how devastating it can be." [People, NY Daily News]
• "A New York City judge says a jury can decide whether the author of a best-selling book about the death of Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith defamed her lawyer by calling him a pimp." [USA Today]
• "Anna Nicole Smith pal Howard K. Stern wins OK to sue writer for libel over gay sex video tale" [NY Daily News]
• Mickey Rourke is not impressed when you "make it rain" in the club. [Page Six]
• "Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt are ready to take on Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell for the title of Longest Dating (and Unmarried) Couple." [Gatecrasher]
• Acting legend Charles Dance, whom you may have seen in Gosford Park, says Paris Hilton's British Best Friend series is "a show for airheads, starring an airhead." Her show is bumping his university drama, Trinity. [The Sun]
• Paul Giamatti will replace Sean Penn as Larry in the Three Stooges movie. Benecio Del Toro will play Moe, and Curly has yet to be cast. [NY Daily News]
• Kim Basinger may play Zac Efron's mom in The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud, a flick about a grieving family. [Variety]
• Bachelorette Jillian Harris stands by Ed Swiderski, but other continue to women talk about how shady he is, blah blah blah. [MSNBC]
• Blind item! "Which scorned reality star is in talks with a major R&B singer to have a faux relationship - just to improve her image?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Today some people in traffic tried to sell me a baby. A live human baby. I didn't know what to say. I said a little prayer for the kid. Wow. It all happend so fast. I was trying to figure out if they were serious, and i think when my reaction was not a good one, they just took off. I mean look. Chances are they were joking. The scary part is i really couldn't tell. Maybe i'm just one gullable fool (sic)." — Joel Madden, via Twitter. [News.com.au]
• "Ran into the people that tried to sell me their baby today on melrose.Told me to tell you all they were joking. I thought 10k was a bit high." — Joel Madden. [Twitter]
• "I learned 30 pages of dialogue in German and English and went to the audition dressed like the character. I killed it. I did everything except sleep with the director to get that part" — Diane Kruger, to Playboy on landing her role in Inglourious Basterds. [Page Six]
• "I got stuck being searched in Toronto, and she waited for me. I totally wasn't expecting to see her when I got through my Toronto search, and she was there, patiently waiting. Some people wouldn't have waited. That's all I'm saying." —Eric Bana on The Time Traveler's Wife costar Rachel McAdams. [USA Today]
• "What was I gonna do? I was worried about you. What if you'd been sent to jail or something and I had to alert the studio?" — Rachel McAdams to Eric Bana. [USA Today]
• "You know, in the old days it was very difficult to make movies 'cause you had to have 35 millimeter cameras, which were phenomenally expensive. Or you had to have rich parents that could send you to film school. Nowadays, anybody, any kid or young person with a desire to make films ... (has) access to this equipment. You have great video cameras and the quality's fantastic. You can make soundtracks and do visual effects. You can do very competent computer effects quite easily. There are no excuses anymore. If people really want to make movies, they can go out and do it. And I think we're going see in the next 20 or 30 years a real influx of creativity to the world of entertainment because I believe a lot in the young generation coming along ... the pop culture generation who now can grab these cameras and go make films with them." — director Peter Jackson. [Reuters]
• "I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 Value Meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven." — Matt Damon, on gaining weight for his role in The Informant. [Gatecrasher]

• Jude Law got someone pregnant, but not Rachel McAdams' sister Kayleen — her rep (she's a makeup artist) says "She has never even met him." [Star]
• So. The mother of Jude Law's unborn spawn is:

Samantha Burke. She's an actress/model. Naturally. [TMZ]

• A source says that Samantha Burke wants Jude's cash! She expects "a large maintenance payment and financial costs, including a percentage of Jude's future earnings, agreed in writing." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Samantha Burke is from a wealthy family. Also, she looks good in a retro swimsuit. [Daily Mail]
• "Even Seth Rogen Now Hating on Katherine Heigl." He's talking shit about how she talks shit. And dissed The Ugly Truth: "That [movie] looks like it really puts women on a pedestal in a beautiful way." Plus: "I gotta say, it's not like we're the only people she said some batshit crazy things about. That's kind of her bag now." [NY Mag, LA Times]
• Carrie Prejean is planning to sue the Miss California USA organization for slander, libel, public disclosure of private facts, religious discrimination, intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress. This should be a big old mess. [Perez]
• Need beach reading? Three celebs have "written" new memoirs: Slumdog Millionaire's Rubina Ali; former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson and Good Charlotte's Joel Madden. [NY Daily News]
• Haterade Headline of the Day: "Tony Romo and Nick Lachey rebound with Jessica Simpson look-a-likes while she's left smooching a dog." [NY Daily News]
• Police chiefs suspected of "snooping" at Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate's home have been arrested. [NY Post]
• Emma Watson is related to a 16th century witch! Her distant relative Joan Playle was excommunicated from the Church of England for witchcraft in 1592. [E!]
• Eminem's new track, "Warning," is an answer to Mariah Carey's song, "Obsessed." He raps: "You probably think since it's been so long if I had something on you I woulda did it by now, on the contrary, Mary Poppins, I'm mixing our studio session down and sending it to mastering to make it loud, enough dirt on you to murder you, this is what the fuck I do... Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Amy Winehouse's wedding album: Found in trash. Seems Blaaaaake threw his copy away. [The Sun]
• Nora Ephron says she hopes Julie & Julia will remind everyone that before EVOO, there was BUTTER, which has now been demonized. "I just do not get that at all," Ephron says, since Julia Child and her husband lived into their 90s. "And they drank like fish," she says. "I don't believe that anything has to do with what you eat, if you don't overeat. All these people who think they can cut down on their cholesterol by eating those awful egg-white omelets. There's something I really hate. It is simply not going to make any difference if you have a couple egg yolks in your omelet." [USA Today]
• Will Katie Holmes be in the Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo? A source says: "The character they want her to play is a really ballsy, high-powered company executive who tangles with Samantha." Sometimes you sort of forget she's an actress, for Xenu's sake. [The Sun]
• Jeepin' jeewillickers! Even though Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar named each of their 18 children a name beginning with the letter J, their first grandchild (from son Josh) will be named Mackenzie. Whether Josh and his wife will have 18 kids with M names remains to be seen. [Star]
• So much sadness: This report claims that Michael Jackson may have had collapsed veins and needle marks all over his body — plus — he may have been dead as early as 8:30 a.m. — four hours before paramedics were called. [ET]
• Warrants filed yesterday allege that Michael Jackson was an addict. It's a violation if Dr. Conrad Murray was "prescribing to an addict." [Yahoo News via AP]
• The Michael Jackson autopsy report: Delayed. [TMZ]
• How will TLC balance Jon & Kate's popularity with the family's right for privacy? Network exec Eileen O'Neill says: "It's a sensitive situation and we navigate that as we go along… It's the family's decision to be involved in the show… We want to stay with them as long as they want to stay with us." [Variety]
• What you'll see when Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns: "Jon and Kate have never said they were perfect," Eileen O'Neill says. "You're still going to see two parents that love their kids, but you'll see them parenting separately." [People]
• This columnist asserts that the return of Jon & Kate will help Kate's image. [MSNBC Scoop]
• And, because no one is sick of these people: Jon Gosselin (and Michael Lohan??) brainstormed a new show: Divorced Dads Club. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio's ex, Bar Refaeli, has a new man: multi-millionaire Teddy Sagi, who is among Israel's top 30 richest men. [NY Daily News]
• BREAKING: Katy Perry and Rihanna have become inseparable. [Page Six]
• Mario Lopez says the Saved By The Bell reunion was a long time coming: "Everybody knew the 20-year anniversary was coming up. This People story has been in the works for over a year, long before [late night host] Jimmy Fallon started talking about it. We were all excited about it." But what's next? "Everybody is fired up. People keep coming up to me saying 'When are you guys going to do a show?'" [People]
• Mark Paul Gosselaar says of Dustin "Screech" Diamond: That's a disaster on so many levels… I don't know where his head is. I know probably as much as you know from watching things on TV." Plus, Gosselaar says that when he played Zack on Fallon last month, there was a reason he looked young: "I read a blog [where] some guy said, 'Dude, lay off the Botox.' I've never had Botox before. The wig was so fucking tight, it gave me a mini face-lift." [Newsweek]
• Penelope Cruz looked amazing at the premiere of Broken Embraces, but the airline had lost her luggage. [People]
• Penny Cruz: "I love London... but I have difficulties with the rainy weather." [Telegraph]
• Lost spoilers! CHARLIE. [E!]
• Details of the sort-of Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm, at the link. [LA Times]
• Lawyers are getting involved in that Twilight recasting drama involving Rachelle Lefevre. [E!]
• Viva la revolucion? Benicio del Toro, Bill Murray, Robert Duvall and James Caan were in Cuba yesterday. [Reuters]
• Paul Giamatti calls some scenes from his new film, Cold Souls, "sort of awkward and painful." [WSJ]
• Billy Crudup will join the cast of Eat, Pray, Love the movie, which also stars Julia Roberts, Javier Bardem and Richard Jenkins. [Variety]
• "Bandslam's account of a teenager's awkward attempts to settle into a new school remind former Friends star Lisa Kudrow of her own adolescence." [Telegraph]
• "Singer Peter Andre has accepted "substantial" damages over a newspaper claim he was unfaithful to his estranged wife, model Katie Price." [BBC News]
• "I really felt this film, which had a love affair with boeuf bourguignon, should come out in winter." — Meryl Streep on Julie & Julia. [USA Today]
• "I heard what he had to say and I knew at this moment my life would never be the same. Life no longer seemed like a series of Random events. I also began to see that being Rich and Famous wasn't going to bring me lasting fulfillment and that it was not the end of the journey." — Madonna, on first hearing about Kabbalah when pregnant with Lourdes. [AP]
• "Phoebe was so spiritual and 'out there' — and I wasn't at all. Not. At. All. If anyone was it was Jennifer [Aniston]. She introduced me to certain books that gave me an insight into that world – Phoebe's supposed world – which was a more spiritual realm." — Lisa Kudrow. [Daily Express]
• "My mom and dad were big hippies and I spent time on communes. I just remember the smell of soybeans everywhere. People were making all sorts of strange things out of soybeans: food, clothing, paper, everything. I suppose if I'd gone to military school, maybe I'd be pining for something like Woodstock. But I'm certainly pining for what it represents, and I think that's what Ang was really after with the film." — Liev Schreiber, on Taking Woodstock. [Style.com]
• "I don't watch Jon & Kate, but I still want to punch that Jon douche in the face.his smarmy,fat alcoholic bloat&Ed Hardy wear piss me off" — Rose McGowan. [Twitter]
• "The Jay-Z controversy is great. We couldn't buy P.R. like this. I think Jay-Z said he saw Auto-Tune used in a Wendy's commercial, and that pushed him over the edge." — Marco Alpert, vice president of the company which markets Auto-Tune, on Jay-Z's latest single, "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)." [NY Times]
• "Fuck you Katy Perry, you fucking stupid, maybe 'not good for the gays,' title thieving, haven't heard much else, so not quite sure if you're talented, fucking little slut." — Jill Sobule. [The Rumpus]

I'm not going to front like I didn't know who Kendra Wilkinson was until I had to watch her show last night to write about it here today. I get sick sometimes and go to the doctor and read US Weekly in the waiting room just like everyone else. And I walk by the newsstand sometimes and see US Weekly and impulsively buy US Weekly just like everyone else. And I had a subscription to US Weekly for two years until it recently lapsed and I forgot to renew it just like everyone else. But, while I totally watch trash TV all the time with no apologies (and even have a standing Bachelorette-watching party. Finale tonight, guys! Go Kiptyn!) I had somehow managed to aggressively ignore the apparent reality phenomenon that is Kendra Wilkinson until last night.

Here's what I knew about Kendra Wilkinson before watching last night's episode: Kendra was one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends and was on his show The Girls Next Door. Kendra broke up with Hugh Hefner and "broke his heart" supposedly. Kendra likes The Olive Garden. Kendra recently got married and the pictures from her wedding were knocked off the cover of US Weekly by Michael Jackson's death. Kendra is pregnant. Kendra has blond hair. This is what I knew. (And it's actually kind of a lot! Scary!)

Now, having watched last night's episode, ("Preggers Can't Be Choosers"), I know that Kendra's future husband is a football player of some kind, and that they haven't been together for very long. That worries Kendra's mother, who threw a FIT when Kendra announced to her at a surprise bridal shower that she is pregnant. Which was odd to me, because we're talking about a woman whose daughter until recently lived in a house with a very old man where she walked around naked all day along with the other very young ladies who comprised this old pathetic man's harem of disposable girlfriends. Maybe the mother also had a problem with that, who knows, but it seems like, with all they've surely been through in Kendra's brief 23 years on this earth, a pre-wedding pregnancy announcement should not be cause for the huge family rift the show tried to make us believe happened.

So after a long time (probably two hours) of Kendra's mother not talking to her, Kendra's future husband, Hank, made the mature and wise choice to call the mother and get her to come over and talk about things. So Kendra's mother, grandmother, and brother, Turtle from Entourage, came over and talked for five minutes and everything was solved. Kendra's mother tried to make it all about her and her life as a single mother, even though that doesn't apply, but Kendra's (adorable) grandmother made everyone smile when she expressed her desire to live long enough to hold her great-grandchild, even though she is practically the same age as my mom.

As we all know, there are three stages in every pregnancy:

Stage 1: Mollifying the angry-for-no-reason narcissistic future Grandmother
Stage 2: Feeling so barfy that you can only eat Froot Loops.
Stage 3: Calling Hugh Hefner to tell him you're pregnant.

Last night, all three stages came to pass, and Kendra and Hank called Hugh Hefner (whose receptionist said "Maybe he's up in the office" even though he had to know Hef was there because there was a film crew there to tape Hef picking up the phone for Kendra's call, but whatever) and told him the news. Hank looked SO THRILLED to be watching his future wife and mother of his child calling up the old man who dragged her around by her extensions like a rag doll since she was a teenager, to share this news, but he got through it because what else was he gonna do. Poor guy. Please don't forget to mutter "That's what she said" under your breath after Kendra's last declaration in this segment. If not, the world will explode. Clip above.

• Angelina Jolie, as you may know, was in Baghdad yesterday. Saint Angelina walked through a makeshift settlement where 20,000 displaced Iraqis live, and said:

"It is lacking in all of the basic things that you would need, they don't have. They just started to have clean water. They're sleeping on dirt. They have built these areas out of brick by hand. They don't have job opportunities… We have still many young men and women from our country who are fighting every day, there are men and women from all countries who have lost their lives, and this is a time to try to make some positive change." [CNN]

• Angelina told one man: "It takes a lot of strength for you to survive this life. I don't know if I would be strong enough to survive this." And she vowed that this trip would not be her last: "I want to come back and find you in a better place and in a different situation… You need help not because you are poor, but because you are the future of Iraq." [NY Daily News]
• Gerard Butler doesn't have the body he had in 300, says a source. "He's so embarrassed that his six-pack abs have gone, he works out wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses." [Page Six]
• "Mischa's Shocking Interview," filmed a few days before she was taken to the hospital, is not shocking at all. She is talking about fashion and appears very normal. Unless that is shocking? [The Sun]
• Spotted: Tom Cruise out dancing with David and Victoria Beckham. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse in court: "I'm probably 5 foot 2 inches to 3 inches tall… But my hair does make a difference." She claims she was wearing flats (ballet slippers, obvs) and could not have hurt the 5 foot 7 woman who claims Amy punched her. [NY Post]
• …And presto! Amy Winehouse has been acquitted of assault. [AP]
• Here's what happens: Kate Major was a reporter, then she "fell for" Jon Gosselin, now other reporters are digging up dirt about her past, like the time she fell down the stairs at a party and loves to drink. [Radar]
• "Jon Gosselin's new girlfriend Kate Major has always sought fame, sees him as meal ticket: insiders." [Gatecrasher]
• Footage of New Moon debuted at Comic-Con yesterday and it "played in part like a matchup of dueling abs." [EW]
• Robert Pattinson seems to have settled in to his new, insane fame: "I pretty much live an almost identical life apart from being recognized," he says. "That's not exactly the worst thing in the world." [People]
• Twilight peeps say Robert and Kristen Stewart have "incredible chemistry." OMG just like the movie! [People]
• More from Comic-Con: Kristen Stewart said, "Uh, I can't wait to get pregnant," in reference to Breaking Dawn. Robert Pattinson added: "I can't wait to perform the Caesarean!" [E!]
• Kate Hudson is a "good luck charm" for boyfriend Alex Rodriguez. [Gatecrasher]
• Megan Fox's rep says Megan Fox never turned down a James Bond movie. "The report about Megan Fox turning down a Bond movie is completely not true. There have been no discussions nor any offers. Megan is a fan of the Bond movies." [People]
• Check out her new AT&T commercials (video at the link) and see how relentlessly fierce Mary J. Blige is. [BrandWeek]
• Michelle Trachtenberg will be working on a new show, Mercy, but she'll still be doing Georgina on Gossip Girl, saying: "Georgina's not going anywhere… She's never gonna die. There's nothing you can do to kill her. It's like one of those horror movies where they're like, 'She's dead,' and then she wakes back up and is like, 'No, I'm not.'" [NY Mag]
• Trachtenberg's "Blacklist" is pretty hilarious: "4. People who refer to themselves in the third person. Michelle thinks that's ridiculous." [BlackBook]
• Twelve-year-old Prince Jackson is "traumatized," as he was the one child who witnessed the doctor's unsuccessful attempts at resuscitation on his father. [Daily Mail]
• This report claims Michael Jackson pleaded for drugs because he had insomnia. [Mirror]
• Katherine Jackson was financially dependent on Michael Jackson and has asked a judge to provide an allowance for Michael's three kids (out of the estate) due to an "urgent need." Court documents claim that Katherine has only "extremely modest" Social Security benefits. [People]
• Oh, God. "Michael Jackson wore a prosthetic nose, according a report — and it was missing from his surgically mangled face as he lay in an LA morgue." [NY Post]
• Demi Moore is suing an Australian magazine for printing a series of photo booth-style photographs, which Demi owned and did not give permission to be published. In the pix? Demi, Rumer Willis, Orlando Bloom, P. Diddy, Cameron Diaz and Amanda De Cadenet. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• A judge has awarded Kelis a whopping $55,000 a month in combined spousal and child support from estranged husband Nas. [TMZ]
• Hmm, this report says Nas will pay $40,000. [People]
• Solange cut her hair and people are freaking the fuck out. [People]
• Bono has invested in the smartphone maker Palm, but is doing commercials for BlackBerry. [NY Post]
• Cailtin Moran on Kendra Wilkinson getting married at the Playboy Mansion and referring to Hef as a "father figure": "Because if there's one thing that holding your wedding in the building that has come to represent licentiousness, misogyny, exploitation and cheap nylon split-crotch panties at the breakfast table, it's referring to the soft pornographer who was 'intimate' with you all those years as 'Dad.'" [Times of London]
• Someone really wants you to keep watching Drop Dead Diva: Upcoming guest stars include Liza Minnelli, Paula Abdul, Tim Gunn, Delta Burke, Jorja Fox and more. [Pop Wrap]
• Jerry Hall will be nude on stage in Calendar Girls on London's West End, and says she is "terrified." "Nudity is always terrifying, even now… And yes, I have to admit I've been trying to eat less. I've been doing yoga classes with some girls in Richmond and eating lots of salads. The nudity scene is brilliantly comic — I was roaring with laughter when I saw it — but I'm worried about whether the buns are going to cover my breasts." [Daily Mail]
• This item is about John Lennon's penis. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler: Still on. [Page Six]
• John Cleese is being treated for inflammation of the prostate gland — and will miss the Just For Laughs festival in Montreal, Canada. [The Sun]
• Eddie Van Halen: Recovering from hand surgery. [Rolling Stone]
• "I started smoking when I was 24, because I'm an idiot. I don't enjoy it so much now, because I've become such a slave to it. I hate planning my life around when I'm getting a cigarette." — Katherine Heigl. [Daily Mail]
• "I just loathe homophobia. It's just disgusting and animal and stupid and it's just thick people who can't get their heads around it and are just scared. I grew up around gay people entirely. I was the only child in my class who had any experience of homosexuality or anything like that." — Daniel Radcliffe, who looks pretty cute on the cover of gay magazine Attitude. [The Sun]
• "One day, sure, but pregnancy scares me. I know I'll be one of those women who looks pregnant all over the body. I'll get fatter and fatter from my toes up." — Katherine Heigl, when asked if she will have kids some day. [Daily Mail]
• "In a way it's good, but I also don't want people thinking of me as this blond heiress… airhead. But that is kind of my brand. I make a lot of money by doing that. I always looked up to Princess Diana and all these women, and now I could never be like that. I want to have a family. I want to be normal. I want to be happy." — Paris Hilton, on the "character" she invented. [Yahoo News via E!, E!]
• "I'm playing Speckles, the mole, and he's an outsider. He's an iconoclast — he doesn't fit in… I'm comfortable with the mole, yeah. I mean, yeah, he's different, he's got issues, you know? I don't want a perfect character, I want a character who has, as strange as it sounds, some humanity, some flaws, some needs. But to be fair, I'm not in a lot of this movie. This is Darwin's movie, um Sam Rockwell and Penelope Cruz's movie — they're the stars. I'm only in it at the beginning and the end." — Nicolas Cage on his role in G-Force. Yes, that is the guinea pig movie. [CNN]
• "I'm probably 20% atheist and 80% agnostic. You'll either find out or not when you get there. Until then, there's no point thinking about it." — Brad Pitt. [Gatecrasher via Bild]

• "Sources" say Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have decided to live apart just weeks after the birth of their twin daughters. Matthew will stay in their Manhattan apartment and Sarah Jessica will move to Brooklyn with the kids.

• A friend says: "Sarah clearly loves Manhattan but she has three children now. It might be better for them to grow up somewhere calmer. But Matthew loves their townhouse in Manhattan because it's close to his work on Broadway." The story doesn't address what impact these new living arrangements will have on their marital status. [ONTD]
• D.E.A. agents raided Dr. Conrad Murray's Houston office today looking for Michael Jackson's medical records. Last night Murray's lawyer issued a statement on his website saying, "The coroner wants to clear up the cause of death; we share that goal. Based on Dr. Murray's minute-by-minute and item-by-item description of Michael Jackson's last days, he should not be a target of criminal charges." [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray's lawyer issued another statement after the raid saying law enforcement officials were looking for evidence "of the offense of manslaughter," adding, "Law enforcement concluded their search around 12:30pm, and left with a forensic image of a business computer hard drive and 21 documents. None of the documents taken had previously been requested by law enforcement or the L.A. Coroner's office." [TMZ]
• Director and producer Bryan Michael Stoller, who was friends with Michael Jackson, says, "Michael really wanted to be a filmmaker and direct a feature film." Jackson also had Stoller tutor his children on filmmaking at Neverland Ranch. "He'd set up a makeshift classroom, and he wanted me to mentor the kids on filmmaking," said Stoller. "We were talking about how animation was done, scripts, screenplays. He was totally into that." [E!]
• Michael Jackson's friend, Fame choreographer Debbie Allen says she thinks he should be buried at Neverland. "I really wish he could be there," she said, "Michael just loved being there. It was his fantasy come true." [E!]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, Star claims Blanket Jackson's mother is a woman named Pia Bhatti. She met MJ in a hotel lobby when her then 12-year-old son Omer did a moonwalk for him. MJ and Omer became friends and was seated three seats from Blanket at the funeral. [Star]
• Rupert Everett says it's good Michael Jackson died because he wouldn't have made it through his London concerts and the press would have destroyed him. "I think it was fortuitous that he died,' he said.'‘He was a freak. He looked like a character from Shrek. He was a black to white minstrel... He was crucified by that court case when he was accused of child molestation – that killed him... He personified the pain and anxiety of a black man in a slave country. We all watched as he changed from black to white. He was living performance art." [The Daily Mail]
• Jamie Lee Curtis wrote in an article on The Huffington Post today revealing that like Michael Jackson, she was addicted to pain killers. "I too found painkillers after a routine cosmetic surgical procedure and I too became addicted," she writes, "The morphine becomes the warm bath from which to escape painful reality. I was a lucky one. I was able to see that the pain had started long ago and far away and that the finding the narcotic was merely a matter of time." She calls her recovery "the greatest single accomplishment of my life." [People]
• Mischa Barton has left Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and her rep says she's "making improvements," but is "still seeking treatment." She plans to return to work on her new show The Beautiful Life. [People]
• Jay-Z denied the rumor that he had Chris Brown kicked out of the BET Awards on a radio show saying, "That's the silliest rumor I ever heard … I was really sitting back and just watching all these suckers comment. Let me categorically deny that - that's not even my style. If I have a problem with Chris Brown, I have a problem with Chris Brown. I haven't said anything … I don't agree with what he did, and that's it. That's it. That's the end of it." [N.Y. Magazine]
• The rumor that Patrick Swayze suffered a heart attack isn't true either, according to his publicist who said, "He's continuing his treatment and doing very well, actually. Contrary to reports, he did not suffer a heart attack and has even gained a little weight." [Access Hollywood]
• Liam Gallagher was in a "bad mood" as he walked onstage last night, probably because someone in the audience threw a water bottle at him. When other people started throwing their beers at him he yelled, "Is that some fucking shitbag who's throwing fucking lager, can't handle a soft a**e from fuckingg Camden town? Well get on this fuckingg student." [The Mirror]
• Sienna Miller freaked out on Australian morning when a DJ brought up Balthazar Getty. You can take a listen here: [TMZ]
• Ryan Seacrest, who earns about $15 million a year from American Idol has offered to buy Paula Abdul lunch every day if she agrees to come back. [TMZ]
• TV Guide bought the offnet rights to Ugly Betty, which means new episodes will run two weeks after their TV premiere on TV Guide Network, and reruns going back to season one will air in primetime. [Variety]
• What has pregnancy done to Kendra Wilkinson? She took down her stripper pole because of the baby and when asked if she's worried about gaining weight she said, "I'm concentrating more on what's healthy for the baby more than my weight gain... I know my weight gain will go away very fast, so if I gain weight and that's what it takes to make my baby healthy, that's what has to happen." [E!]
• The CW has posted promos for the remake of Melrose Place, which stars Ashlee Simpson-Wentz as a small town girl who moves to L.A. and has a "disarming disarming naiveté [that] masks the calculating, shrewd sex kitten within." Check out the clip here: [People]
• Last night Whitney Houston previewed her upcoming CD to an industry audience and said her daughter Bobbi Kristina helped her while she was working on the album. "She was with me every step of the way: `Mom, you can do this.' When I get discouraged and I get like, `This is tiring, this is wearing me out, I'm just not at that point,' she'd just go, `No, mom, you can do this, get up, get up,'" Houston said. "She encourages me and inspires me, when I look at her and I look at her eyes and I see myself, I go, `OK, I can do this. I can do this.'" [Yahoo]
• Patti Stanger of The Millionaire Matchmaker is engaged to real estate executive Andy Friedman. "I feel like it should have happened years ago, so I'm kind of shocked," she said. [Us]
• Jennifer Lopez, whose twins are just starting to talk, says, "I would love to have more kids... I don't know if we will. I don't know if that's in the cards for us – but we'll see." [People]
• When asked if he believes in God or is spiritual, Brad Pitt said, "No, no, no! I'm probably 20 per cent atheist and 80 per cent agnostic. I don't think anyone really knows. You'll either find out or not when you get there, until then there's no point thinking about it." [Bild]
• "It feels like that stuff is behind me. Time is going by and it feels like I'm going to be all right...So now maybe I don't even know the kind of career I wanna have. But it's pretty cool that I get to figure that out. I was a child actor, which is not something that I'm proud of-aside from the fact that I'm on Pee-Wee's Playhouse, which I'm proud of. But obviously it wasn't like that was a choice. It wasn't like that was my career move as a six-year old. "Oh, I wanna be in show business!" I wasn't fucking Shirley Temple. And I doubt that she wanted to be. So that by sixteen when I was cast in this Woody Allen movie, right after that I was really angry that I wasn't given the choice to go to college and be a philosophy major. I never had time to figure out what I wanted to do with this life. I just bumbled along from one job to the next. It was really great, a lot of it. But I don't think I understood that I had a choice. So it's really good that I got take a self-imposed break and now I get to do it from a place of choice." — Natasha Lyonne [Gothamist]

• Cameron Diaz was out with Jude Law on Sunday night in London, but last week she was out in London with Leonardo DiCaprio. This paper calls it an "A-list love triangle."

But! Since Cammie worked with Jude in The Holiday and with Leo in Gangs Of New York, we're going with: Hanging with old friends. [The Sun]

• Julie Andrews was asked who she'd choose to play Maria in a remake of The Sound Of Music, and she said Cameron Diaz. Cammie D, who worked with Andrews on Shrek, says: "Julie is amazing and I don't know if I could follow an act like that." Agreed! No offense. [Daily Express]
• Kiefer Sutherland had a very public makeout session in a NYC park over the weekend. Spills a source: "One young mom breast-feeding her baby nearby was like, 'Go Kiefer!'" [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan speaks! Of Lindsay she says: "She's a genius. Such a good heart. Lindsay will direct one day. She loves directing." But then goes on to say: "You know what, I taught my children to love. And if you fall in love, life is about that. Family, it's not about work. You want goals…We're all looking for love and someone to be with; someone to share that with. My parents have been married for 50 years, we see that and that is important. It's work, but you want to separate it, go home and have a family. [Work] is not going to be forever." Wait, so: Life is not about work, it's about love, which takes work. And. Small children should work at an early age. Got it. [OK Magazine]
• A French newspaper claims that Madonna has "declined" to be interviewed by investigators in relation to the stadium collapse in Marseilles which killed two people. [The Sun]
• Jessica Simpson's family is worried about her; she's been staying in and watching chick flicks and feeling a little depressed. But damn. She got dumped on the eve of her birthday. She needs to cry it out. A source says: "The family used to have such faith in [Jessica] and they worried about Ashlee. Now they are fully confident in Ashlee's choices and they worry most of their days about Jessica. It seems she just can't catch a break." [People]
• Grace Rwaramba - the Rwandan nanny "Jackson insiders describe as the most maternal personality" Michael Jackson's kids have known — is coming back to be with the children. (She was fired in 2008.) She was introduced to MJ by Deepak Chopra; Chopra says "She is totally dedicated to the children and will do whatever it takes to make the children happy." [Time]
• "Neighbors of Neverland are organizing against any move to turn Michael Jackson's former home into a tourist destination that could disturb the area's rural tranquility." [AP]
• "Three months before his death, Michael Jackson committed to co-directing and financing a movie — a poignant drama about foster children — and planned to get started as soon as he completed his London concerts." [Reuters]
• The latest issue of Rolling Stone has a cover story titled "The Last Days of Michael Jackson," written by Claire Hoffman. She says, in a video at the link, that everyone she spoke with said the same thing: He was pumped about the O2 concerts and really wanted the experience to be the greatest show on earth. It's the comeback that never was. [Rolling Stone]
• Joe Jackson is planning a big 80th birthday bash in Tinley Park, outside of Chicago. It's scheduled for August 22. By the by, Michael Jackson's birthday is August 29. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Katherine Jackson doesn't want to challenge the will, but she does want "a seat at the table." [TMZ]
• Click the link and look at the gentleman whose face is circled in red. Six words: MICHAEL JACKSON'S SECRET NORWEGIAN LOVE CHILD. [Mirror]
• Debbie Rowe has a "stash" of pictures of her kids in her closet. She told a friend: "'I can't leave them out. When people come in to my home they steal these photographs." Naturally, since this paper is so classy, it's calling the collection a "shrine." [The Sun]
• Mischa Barton's rep says the actress is "still seeking treatment but making improvements." [ET]
• According to this report, Mischa Barton was struggling with body issues. A source says: "She has big self-esteem issues. She hates her legs. She isn't comfortable with her body. It's been a big source of stress and self-hate." Another source claims: "She had a big problem with those photos of her cellulite." Although a friend says "She was more pissed off than hurt… I never saw her diet." [People]
• Mischa Barton's rep says her intentions are being able to resume production on The Beautiful Life next week. [E!]
• After Public Enemies, Alice In Wonderland, and The Rum Diary, Johnny Depp has a no concrete projects coming up; the next Pirates flick has been delayed and everything else is iffy. [Hollywood Reporter, Reuters]
• Billy Joel is dating former The Young And The Restless star Alex Donnelley. I'll admit, out of curiosity, I checked to see if she was as young as his third wife, Katie Lee (27). But Donnelley is 50. If you care. [Page Six]
• Ugly Betty spoiler: Jamie-Lynn Sigler is joining the cast as Daniel's new assistant. [EW]
• Oh, yay: More waxing, more grandmas on stripper poles. Kendra has been picked up for a second season. Will we see the pin-up as a new mommy? [Variety]
• Jennifer Lopez's husband Marc Anthony has inked a deal with the Miami Dolphins, making him a partial owner. [Gatecrasher]
• Q: Who is your mortal enemy?
  A: Myself … but we're starting to make nice.
  Q: When's the last time you drove a car?
  A: Some things are better left undisclosed.
  Q: How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
  A: I'll never sleep with Bernie Madoff again. — From a Q&A with Natasha Lyonne. [NY Magazine]
• "Katie Price reveals her plans for life after Pete: Acting lessons, more Botox and a new tattoo." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which allegedly bisexual hotel heir is getting it on with an N.Y.-based male reality TV star?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I hadn't taken the subway in more than 20 years because I used to spend two hours each way on it every day going to school and back and did everything on it — slept, ate, homework — and I swore as soon as I had two pennies to rub together, I would never ride it again and I didn't — until [Taking Of Pelham 1-2-3] of course. I grew up in New York and subways were the way to get around so I spent many many hours on subways as a kid." — Denzel Washington hates the subway, okay? [Mirror]
• "I have wrinkles [on my forehead], which are very evident. I will particularly say when I look at movie posters: 'You guys have airbrushed my forehead. Please can you change it back?' I'd rather be the woman they're saying 'She's looking older' than 'She's looking stoned.'" — Kate Winslet. (And be sure to click the link to compare and contrast an untouched paparazzi photo of her with a Lancôme campaign photo.) [Daily Mail]

• Hailey Glassman says her love affair with Jon Gosselin is filled with laughter, home cooked dinners and romantic games of ping pong, but, "If you had told me a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed you."

• Glassman explains that she developed feelings for Jon, a family friend, when he visited her parent's home to mulll over the end of his marriage. "He was so strong," Glassman says. "I admired him." When asked what she thinks he likes most about her, she said: "I'm a huge believer in not controlling someone. I'll give my opinion but tell him to do what he wants to do. He said, 'I'm just not used to having an option.' I told him life is about options." [People]
• Kendra Wilkinson says she and husband Hank Baskett have learned an important lesson from Jon And Kate Plus 8. "I feel bad for the kids. If we do have a show, none of that's going to happen...I want to be able to spend quality time with my child and not really give the world too much," says Kendra. [E!]
• Kiefer Sutherland won't be charged for headbutting Jack McCollough in May. The Manhattan D.A. rejected the case because officials decided the incident was too petty to be called criminal conduct. The L.A. City Attorney won't be charging Kiefer for violating his probation from a previous DUI conviction either. [TMZ]
• Stephen Baldwin filed for bankruptcy today. According to court documents he's millions of dollars in debt. [Yahoo]
• A fight broke out during Chace Crawford's birthday outing on Saturday night. His friends started pushing and shoving photographers to get them to stop taking pictures of him in the VIP section and Chace fled his own party to avoid getting caught in the scuffle. [The Daily Express]
• Jackson Browne has settled a lawsuit and received an apology from Senator John McCain and the Republican Party for using his song "Running On Empty" during the presidential campaign. The GOP also pledged not to use any musician's work without permission from now on. [AP]
• More people are coming forward with tales of Mischa Barton's drug use. In a lengthy tale about one drug fueled night in London last year, a source reports, "She told us that she hated Kimberley [Stewart] and Paris Hilton because they had made fun of her after her DUI arrest but that Naomi Campbell had phoned her to offer some support. After some time she went into her purse and took out a bag of marijuana - when she put her purse down I could see traces of white powder inside it... Mischa was a sweet person but she is really foolish as both her drug and alcohol consumption was very open. She didn't seem to be able to control herself and I'm not surprised that it has snow-balled and that she is now in hospital. In my opinion she is going to need a lot of help to fully recover from what I saw that night in London." [Radar Online]
• Jackass star Bam Margera says he wasn't taken to the hospital for a drug overdose, but because he was on a four day drinking binge which he blamed on marital problems. "I may get a divorce ... booze helps," he said. [TMZ]
• In a new interview Ryan O'Neal said of Farrah Fawcett, "She never closed her eyes; her eyes were open for the last three weeks of her life... She was watching us. She didn't speak much, but she watched us. And then, finally, she closed her eyes." [MSNBC]
• The rumors that Jamie Kennedy proposed to Jennifer Love Hewitt last weekend aren't true but according to Jamie, she told him "By this time next year if we're not planning something, then there's a situation." [People]
• Check out these adorable photos of Emma Thompson and her adopted son Tindyebwa Agabe. Six years ago she and her husband adopted Agabe, a former Rwandan child soldier, at the age of 16. Today he graduated from Exeter University with a degree in politics. [The Daily Mail]
• In her first interview since her break down, Susan Boyle said of her rise to stardom, "The impact, like a demolition ball. Anyone who has that kind of impact finds it really hard to get a head around it... I guess I had to get my head around it, but through the guidance of a great team, and they are very good, I was able to see that in perspective and really turn that around a little." [The Sun]
• Susan Boyle will pose for a photoshoot that will appear in the September issue of Harper's Bazaar. [The Mirror]
• Marc Anthony has become a partial owner of the Miami Dophins. "I'm a huge sports fan," he said. "These opportunities don't come around too often. It's quite an honor and a privilege to be able to sit here today saying that I'm a part-owner of an NFL team." Now he and Jennifer Lopez are looking for a home in Miami. [People]
• Kelis skipped today's scheduled court date with estranged husband Nas... because she's in labor. Nas' lawyer says he's in New York for the birth of his baby and is "rushing to the hospital to be with her." [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's friend Marc Schaffel says, "At the end of the day, Debbie just wants what's best for the children... Her interest is that the children are going to be taken care of." [People]
• David Duchovney and Tea Leoni are looking less and less estranged these days. They spent Father's Day together with their kids, and David took Tea to the wrap party for Californication this weekend. [People]
• Alicia Silverstone will return to Broadway to reprise her role in Time Stands Still, a play about a photojournalist (who will be played by Laura Linney) recovering from and injury in the Iraq War. [The N.Y. Times]
• Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Leona Lewis, and Miley Cyrus will headline the VH1 Divas Live concert on September 17. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer's Body will premiere at the Toronto Film Festival's Midnight Madness program on September 10th. [Variety]
• Harrison Ford will be the guest of honor at the France's Deauville American Film Festival in September. [Variety]
• January Jones is on the cover of Interview's August issue. She says of her Mad Men character Betty Draper, "She is cracked, which is why I love her... I come from a family of very outspoken women. I can't imagine living in a time when you couldn't express what you felt... That's why Betty does what she does. She's imploding to the point where she gets so frustrated that she does something wacky." [People]
• Katherine Heigl says her first day back on the Grey's Anatomy set wasn't that great, explaining, "It was — I'm going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them - a 17-hour day, which I think is cruel and mean." She added, "It was actually kind of really great to be back. All my friends are there and at this point, they're sort of like family, but it was a little weird because [T.R. Knight]'s not there anymore." [People]
• Last week Entourage featured an outdated Knocked Up joke about how Katherine Heigl would never go out with Seth Rogen in real life. Rogen responded: "Yeah, those guys are assholes. I actually ran into Matt … Kevin Dillon in a Starbucks. And he's like 'You know, I've got to kind of apologize because apparently the guy who created our show doesn't like you so much.' And I said 'Well, I have reason to believe because I think [showrunner] Doug Ellin is a moron from all I can understand so it makes sense he doesn't like me.' And I've kind of said some disparaging things about the show. Although in our defense, [producer] Mark Wahlberg called us misogynistic in an interview, so I think they kind of started that … It's on. Luckily I never have and never plan on watching Entourage." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "It is very disheartening that there are so many older men that prey on young performers. The younger you are, the more innocent you are, the more wholesome your image is, the weirder the fans become in terms of older men wanting to corrupt little girls. Even the way the paparazzi stalk the younger artists is very different from following around adults - I find that very disturbing." — Debbie Gibson [The Daily Express]

Serena Williams may look a little bridesmaid, but I love these graceful lines on her.


And Miranda Kerr is the bride! Albeit an incredibly glamorous one.


Jaime Pressly's mini kind of reminds me of what the evil trophy wife wears to her elderly mogul husband's funeral on a soap/one of those romance novels where all the wardrobe seems mired in 1984. Just picture it with a huge hat.


It's really striking how carefree Condoleezza Ricelooks now compared to...well, you know. Bright colors and a big smile make her look like a different dame!


Don't you wonder if Kendra and Condi were forced to talk? And what they said? And if she's hard to talk to in this dress - although I'm sure Kendra was totally un-self-conscious! And, from the waist down, it's extremely demure.


Rashida Jones can do almost no wrong in my book, but I'm not loving the fit of this - at least, in motion.


Venus Williams is perhaps the only woman in the world who could wear this caftan - and not the other way around. Some would say a tall lady shouldn't do a lot of pattern - I say they can and should!


Kristi Yamaguchi's right: self-exams are important. So are comfy shoes. Either, though, is optional for formal situations.


[Images via Getty]

If you look at Kendra's many Playboy pictorials (just Google it), you can see that she does not have pubic hair. Maybe she shaves though. Does that make her a "technical waxing virgin?"

• Forbes compiled a list of high-earning celebrities under 30, and Beyoncé is at number one: She brought home an estimated $87 million over the last year, which buys a lot of leotards. [Mirror]

• Lindsay Lohan turned down a role in The Hangover, because she said the screenplay "had no potential." Or maybe she didn't want to play a hooker with a heart of gold in a sorta sexist movie? [Page Six]
• A Facebook movie? Starring Shia LaBeouf as Mark Zuckerberg? Ok. [Gatecrasher]
• Did the Black Eyed Peas bite a track from musician Adam Freeland? [The Daily Swarm]
• Sharon Stone's rep says Sharon Stone did not have "air rage" and was not detained by police at the airport, but she was yelled at by a flight attendant. [Independent]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's new show, which will be like Project Runway, but for artists, has begun casting. According to this piece: 'Part of me was worried it would look too mercenary for certain artists,' she says. 'They might find it objectionable to use TV to talk about what they do.' The show might, she says, end up being 'more about people who feel comfortable with something risky,' by which she means the medium of TV itself. And yet, of course, the artwork created on the show can't be too risky, as it needs to be presentable to a prime-time audience." [mediabistro.com]
• Daniel Radcliffe injured! While filming Half-Blood Prince. He's fine. In fact, he says: "It was great actually, it was brilliant. "I was doing this scene where I fight a giant snake and, being the hi-tech, multi-million production that we are, the snake was being played by our stunt co-ordinator holding a long pole with a boxing glove tied to the end with gaffer tape. On the last take before lunch he really planted the front foot. I was fending it off with a chair and was caught unawares. The chair went flying into my top lip. To be honest, it was brilliant because I saw the playback later and I go down like a bloody boxer." [Telegraph via Esquire]
• Daniel Radcliffe: "I've been out with a couple of women who have been older than me. I think it's the maturity thing more than anything else, but that was when I was younger – girls my age are now mature, so it's great. I've widened the field!" [People]
• Guess what millions of users were doing on the web yesterday? Watching Michael Jackson's memorial, which drew huge traffic. (Although not as much as the Presidential inauguration in January.)[MediwWeek]
• Since the memorial is costing L.A. between $1.5 million and $4 million, the city has set up a website where people can make donations to help pay the bill for police and other public servants. [USA Today]
• "Jackson Memorial Made Fans Into Family: At memorial, the Jackson family invited a stadium of people into their lives." Also: What do the yellow ties and flowers mean? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dionne Warwick on the Michael Jackson memorial: "He would've loved it. He would've loved it." [CNN]
• Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee promised a House resolution that would forever honor Michael Jackson, but such a resolution will likely face opposition in the House. [AP]
• CNN is now reporting "details" about Michael Jackson's body from a "source" — and the information — he was covered in needle marks; he was bald — sound just like the stuff The Sun printed, which turned out to be untrue. [CNN]
• The Austrian ambassador to the UK is urging people to protest Brüno, since it mocks his country, Nazis and... Josef Fritzl. [The Sun]
• Has the ending of Brüno been cut and changed? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• The Latoya Jackson scene — in which Sacha Baron Cohen's character tries to get Michael Jackson's phone number — has definitely been cut from Brüno. [Mirror]
• The last season of Lost: Producer Damon Lindelof says, "anything goes." [EW]
• Spotted: Mary J. Blige doing the Moonwalk. Wish there was video. [Page Six]
  
• If your dream is to see Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt dressed up as Sid and Nancy — where Joey is Nancy — your dream has come true. [ONTD, Cinemash]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers are still appealing for his decades-old case to be thrown out. [Mirror]
• Hamptons gossip: People drank champagne, Jon Bon Jovi sang, Nick Stahl fell asleep in the pantry! [NY Observer]
• Jodie Foster hearts surfing. [Page Six]
• Um, the Saturday Night Live skit "MacGruber" is going to be a movie. With Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer in negotiations to star alongside Will Forte and Kristen Wiig. Will the whole film be shot in a control room? [The Hollywood Reporter, Variety]
• 30 Rock episodes on Comedy Central? [Variety]
• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang banned from parade! [Daily Mail]
• Whatshisname wants to move to Australia after his divorce from Whatshername. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which musically inclined young celeb has been dubbed - behind his back, of course - 'Lip Gloss' because he always puts it on before hitting a red carpet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "You don't have to pay for it, and it's unconditional. It's hard when you get cut off the road in traffic, but it's what I try to practice." — Taraji P. Henson, who is pro-love. [Gatecrasher]
• "Not smoking is a neverending struggle. You put a cigarette to your mouth, you light it, and you know that you're hurting yourself. I did it at least 10 times a day and my throat hurt, my voice was gone, but I still was attracted to it. It's the same thing as dating someone who's not great for you, or staying up all night before you have something really important to do the next day. It's something that we all do, and I'm not exactly clear as to why we do it." — Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Mirror]
• "The death scene, to me, was quite a difficult scene to film just because I have never in my own life, up until quite recently, never been bereaved. You can never imagine what that's like so you sort of feel like a bit of a phony when you're acting it out, but hopefully I did OK in the end." — Daniel Radcliffe. [Mirror]
• "I am not trying to get back with the Countess in any way, as your spies suggested. We will remain friends and take care of our children." — Count Alex de Lesseps. [Page Six]
• "Weight doesnt matter. At the end of the day everybody has a different standard for what turns them on. There are probably tons of men out there that find thick librarians smokin hottt! LOL. The way i dress represents who i am and i think everyone should just dress in whatever makes them feel good. And just for good measure, Wilkinson added, "And while im totally flattered u like the way i look and dress...i just hope u dont make other women feel like they have to wear a 'cloak' if they dont look like a Playmate!" — Kendra Wilkinson, in response to blog What Would Tyler Durden Do, which used a picture of her to write: "If a girl is built like Kendra, she should dress exactly like Kendra. Every day, all the time...If the girl isn't built like Kendra, um…I don't know. I guess maybe an invisibility cloak or something. What's the point to even being a girl if you're not gonna look like Kendra?" [Celebuzz]

Kendra, who became one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends at 18, recently married Hank Baskett, and the two are expecting a child. Kendra says that she plans on being a strict Christian mother after she recently found God. We wonder if she found him in the skydiving room.

Kendra Wilkinson Plans To Be Strict Christian Mother [FoxNews]

OK!
"Tragic Death." The mag chose a cover image that some are calling "ghoulish" and a "disgrace," especially since Michael Jackson may already be dead in the photo. Some advertisers may be pissed and there's talk of a boycott. Inside you'll find a standard collage of old and new Michael Jackson photographs. Also inside: Kristen Stewart has dumped her boyfriend Michael Angarano, according to a source, which means she COULD date Robert Pattinson, but she doesn't want to rush into another relationship. YAWN. One spread in the "news" section is called "The Many Faces Of Johnny Depp" and is just pictures of characters he has played. News? Really?
Grade: F (pulled away by rip tide)

Life & Style
"Who Killed Michael." The headline inside is "Drugs, Anorexia and Missing Millions," and you'll find a typical sensationalist story: the family thinks drugs were being used to manipulate Michael; there might have been millions stolen from him; he kept saying that he owed people money and people would kill him if he didn't do the London concerts. On and on, bullshit. Moving on: Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler are "competing" for Jennifer Aniston. During a late night shoot on Bounty Hunter, Jen was getting really "chatty" with Gerard, and a source says "Gerard was getting really close to her on the escalator." Um, it's an escalator. How far apart can two people be? Also, Gerard is "just like" Brad Pitt because they "wear similar hats," "they love their bikes," they've got great bodies," and they both wear aviator sunglasses. In a story about how Kate Gosselin might raise her kids alone, there's a sidebar on Jon Gosselin, in which the magazine spells his name with an H (we circled it in yellow for you) and prints the headline, "John Trades The Kids For Booze, Money And Women." (Fig. 1). Kendra Wilkinson had "wedding dress drama" when days before the ceremony, she discovered that her dress didn't fit! Her boobs were too big, because she is three months pregnant, "I had to get my whole dress redone," she explains. Britney Spears would like her agent/boyfriend Jason Trawick to move in with her at the end of her tour. Jacqueline of RHONJ clears up what Caroline was accusing Danielle of doing to Dina in the reunion special, saying: "Danielle was trying to harm Dina by giving her ex-husband a phone number that might give him leverage in the custody of their daughter Lexi." Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel might be "taking a break" since they have not been photographed together since May 31 and a source says, "I think they might be over." Robert Pattinson's aunt speaks to the magazine and says: "I don't think it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen. How can he live his life with a fellow star with their every move being watched, just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?"
Grade: D- (jellyfish sting)

Star
"52 Best & Worst Beach Bodies!"
Some of the "best" include 15-year-old Ali Lohan, perennial fave Kim Kardashian, and Julia Roberts. Worsts? Kate Gosselin, Stephanie Seymour and Helena Christensen — the latter two have cellulite. Moving on: According to this magazine, Janet Jackson should get the kids because Katherine Jackson is too old and "it's what Michael would have wanted." Although the cover says "Janet Fights For Michael's Kids," it appears to be a lie — there is no information ANYWHERE indicating that Janet has gotten involved or wants the kids. Next: Justin Ross Lee, "an up and coming Facebook celebrity," sat next to Ashley Olsen on an airplane, took pictures of her sleeping and apparently sold the story to Star. It's a Star "exclusive." Disney Star Selena Gomez has a mole on her chest and if the 16-year-old star tries on a dress with a neckline low enough that the beauty mark can be seen, her mom nixes it. Says the mom: "I'm on constant mole patrol." James Haven — brother of Angelina Jolie — has a license plate which reads "Shilloh," because that was his nickname as a kid. Angie named her daughter after him, in a way. Lindsay Lohan went to get a manicure and had no cash on her, and no credit cards; she let another customer pay the bill for her. Blind item! "Which funnylady is a fan of those funny-smelling cigarettes? Tongues were wagging when she showed up half-baked at an industry dinner in L.A. on June 19th." In an interview with Robert Pattinson's exes, we learn that he was "amazing" in bed and that his first girlfriend now works in a slaughterhouse in New Zealand. Kevin, the ex-husband of RHONJ's Danielle Staub, claims that Danielle brought up "the book" to producers before the show. After she made the plea deal so she wouldn't go to prison, she started receiving anonymous threatening phone calls — possibly from the drug dealers she'd ratted out — and was talking about maybe going into the witness protection program.
Grade: D (mangled and tumbled by six foot waves)

In Touch
"Gone Too Soon."
To accompany this classic, retro cover straight out of 1984, there are two long stories about Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, PLUS A PULL-OUT POSTER with Michael on one side and Farrah on the other. Margaret is totally hanging it in her locker. (Fig. 2a, 2b) Also inside: Lindsay Lohan wears $2,165 ripped jeans. (Fig. 3). Madonna and Mercy look cute together! (Fig. 4). Did Stephanie Pratt have a nose job (Fig. 5)? Is Britney "unraveling" again? Recently she went shopping and changed her outfit in every store. Then, in London, she "tearfully shut herself into a closet" and "her assistant had to coax her out by promising to buy her tacos." Kate Gosselin is "flabby" now that the divorce is getting to her. Or wearing a different cut of bathing suit? Bradley Cooper is "going to break Jen's heart" because the night before their date, we was out with Lake Bell and "had his hands all over her legs." Check out Style Network star Ruby's "first fashion shoot" ever, on page 85 (Fig. 6). Lastly, a spider monkey named Coco announces that she likes bananas, grapes and swings, and is the 4th of the Girls Next Door (Fig.7).
Grade: C (sunburn)

Us
"His Final Days."
Margaret says this is the best Michael Jackson story she has read all week. Instead of the recapped/CNN stuff the other magazines are printing. The mag talks to Michael's former bodyguard, who says that MJ was often over-medicated and "I would have to literally lift him up and carry him back to the car or back to his room." Michael had a fall-out with his former best friend, illusionist Uri Geller, because Geller tried to tell him he was taking too many painkillers and anti-depressants — Michael couldn't accept someone confronting him, because he's used to getting his way. A family source says that Michael's usual schedule was to sleep until late in the afternoon and stay up all night, but when he started rehearsals for the tour, it "totally screwed up his system." He started using stimulants in order to get up early for the rehearsals. There's another story in the mag about Michael's "Life As A Dad" with tons of previously unseen pictures of his kids. Plus, there's deep insight as to what the kids' lives were like. Sources say the kids were very intelligent and fairly normal. Michael would get down on his knees on the floor and change Blanket's diaper. Michael made a big deal out of Christmas, because growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, he wasn't allowed to celebrate. But a photographer says that his wacky behavior did affect the kids: He was paranoid that someone was trying to poison the kids, and at hotels, there would be a long list of stuff they couldn't eat. When they stayed in fancy hotels, Michael would go in and baby-proof everything — like go in and put cardboard and tape on all sharp edges of the furniture. The kids were home-schooled in a classroom at Neverland that had blackboards, textbooks and desks, and the children had to wear matching uniforms to school. They had instructors, but Michael also handled some of the lessons: He taught them African-American history, music and art. There's also information on the biological father of the kids, dermatologist Arnold Klein. Plus: Did you know that Katherine Jackson and Joe Jackson don't live together? She lives in L.A. and he lives in Vegas. Also inside: Kanye West has been interning at the GAP's offices in NYC. "He works all the time, and one Friday night recently, he stayed until 12 am. He's learning the fashion business from the inside and trying to do it quietly." Jennifer Garner hates Ben Affleck's ex, Gwyneth Paltrow! She's annoyed that Gwyneth sends her kids to Violet's school… but only for a few weeks a year, which "messes up the dynamics of the class." Lastly, there are six pages of "official photos" from Kendra Wilkinson's wedding — she was bumped off the cover by the death of MJ. Margaret found the wedding, which took place at the Playboy Mansion, to be a "shockingly classy affair." Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt were among the bridesmaids, and Hef and his three new girlfriends were in attendance. Hef danced with Kendra to "As Time Goes By." Fatherly!
Grade: B- (sand in crotch of swimsuit)

Fig. 1

Fig. 2a

Fig. 2b

Fig. 3

Fig. 4

Fig. 5

Fig. 6

Fig. 7

• Here's the first picture of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick with their new twins, Marion and Tabitha Broderick. Big brother James, are you ready for double trouble? [TMZ]

• Britney Spears has dark hair and something that looks like an engagement ring. What does it mean??? [NY Daily News]
• Uh-oh: Us Weekly dropped $120,000 for exclusive rights to Kendra Wilkinson's wedding, but the death of Michael Jackson will push her bridal bliss off the cover. [Page Six]
• Will Michael Jackson's body be put on display in a coffin of glass, like Eva Peron? [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson's mother has been granted temporary guardianship of his three kids. [LA Times]
• According to a source, Michael Jackson almost died once before — in 2004 — he was unconscious and had to be revived. [Fox News]
• Michael Jackson's doctor didn't call 911 for a half hour after finding MJ unconscious. [TMZ]
• The LAPD is trying to identify and interview "multiple doctors" who treated or prescribed medicine to Michael Jackson. [LA Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother Katherine is worried about people stealing from MJ's estate. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe has been reaching out to the Jackson family, but has been unsuccessful. [People]
• A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 may be released this week. [WSJ]
• "Michael Jackson's Last Art Purchase." A wicked witch painting. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson was spending £30,000 a month on prescription drugs," says this paper, which lied to us yesterday. [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's Death: Sorting Fact From Fiction." A run down of all the claims and contradictions. [NY Daily News]
• Two weeks before he died, Michael Jackson completed a video project; his last. [AP]
• Expect some "instant" Michael Jackson books — some due by the end of the week, one coming in July. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour is being transformed into a tribute concert in September, and Madonna may take part. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Here is Lindsay Lohan posing like Michael Jackson. [NY Daily News]
• Ladies and gentlemen, a statement from Jon and Kate Gosselin: "During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation. Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many. Thank you." [TLC]
• Chris Brown was not at the BET Awards because Al Sharpton and Jay-Z were "very vocal" with producers about not letting him appear. [Gatecrasher]
• A source says: "Jay-Z wasn't having it. He threatened to pull out of the show if Chris was involved, so BET dropped Chris." [Page Six]
• Chris Brown's friend Teairra Mari says: "He's sorry. That's my friend, and I love Chris. He's a good kid-he just made a mistake. He knows that and feels terrible about it." [E!]
• Justin Timberlake went out boozing with Guy Ritchie, and guess which one went home at 2:30am and which one stayed in the pub? Guy was in it til the bitter end. [The Sun]
• How is the filming of The Runaways going? Well, Joan Jett made Kristen Stewart cry. So. [Gatecrasher]
• Some GQ Brüno pictures in which the character is posing with a high school football team have infuriated a school official in L.A., who says: "We've allowed our students to be used, and not in the most glamorous circumstances either." [UPI]
• Susan Boyle on Ugly Betty? Why, yes. [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse has been banned from taking in any more stray dogs after resort management had to fumigate her house in St. Lucia. [The Sun]
• George Clooney is not dead. Why are there so many death pranks? That shit is not funny. [TMZ]
• Kate Moss's boyfriend Jamie Hince is getting tired of Kate's lengthy karaoke sessions and is limiting her to half an hour a day. [The Sun]
• Lady GaGa visited an HIV Support Centre in Manchester, UK yesterday, and said: "I've been doing volunteer work since I was two." She also said: "I want to make it fashionable to have safe sex. You must be safe. You can have sex with hundreds of people with a condom on and get nothing. If you have sex without one, then you could get all sorts of problems." To which this paper asks, "Speaking from experience?" [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher is Tweeting for the White House. No, really. [Politico]
• Kathy Griffin on NPR! "NPR listeners, I know who you are. I know you guys read books, which I find tedious. You guys might try a book called Us Weekly. OK? It's a really good book. It has a lot of pictures." [NPR]
• Megan Fox spent the weekend in Las Vegas with Brian Austin Green. Back together? [E!]
• Someone threw a drink on Anna Kournikova at a club in Vegas and the tennis player "sprang into action," showing and screaming at the lady. [Page Six]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur continues to blog about her "weight loss journey." She writes: "I downloaded the video of Beyoncé's 'Single Ladies' and started to learn her dance. Let me tell you, if I ever did that dance in a club I would still be a single lady!!! But what a workout! It was free and fun and it kept my son very entertained – it was like a real-life Muppet danced out of his TV and into the living room. It kept him and, sadly, my husband very amused for almost an hour." [People]
• "Hollywood stars Antonio Banderas And Melanie Griffiths' Garden Seized As Spain Cracks Down On Illegal Coastal Homes." They'll lose their 40 foot swimming pool! [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman — sister of Nicole and TV personality in Australia — addicted to exercise? [News.com.au]
• Redmond O'Neal with be allowed to leave jail to attend his mother Farrah Fawcett's funeral. [People]
• Law And Order: SVU fans, take note: Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay have finally signed on to stay for two more seasons. [Variety]
• Amy Adams is in negotiations to star alongside Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg in boxing drama The Fighter. [Variety]
• Some kind of drama involving Kanye West's bisexual girlfriend Amber Rose and a singer named Nicki Minaj, who Amber hit on? [ONTD]
• Here's a Q&A with Wilco's Jeff Tweedy, who says: "We did get word that whoever's in charge of loading [Barack Obama's] iPod requested the record and we got the record in." [Time]
• Best wishes to 92-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor, who is out of the hospital after a 6-day stay for flu-like symptoms. [AP]
• The Nutty Professor is coming to Broadway, and Jerry Lewis will direct. [AP]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname: fighting in public. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which former boy bander looked oh-so-strung-out over the weekend? His diet of booze and nose candy certainly isn't helping his skin-and-bones appearance." [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't watch TV comedy in the UK anymore. We've got some poor copies of Curb Your Enthusiasm, some poor copies of Entourage and some poor copies of Seinfeld. With a few exceptions the Americans seem to be ahead of the game." — Ricky Gervais. [The Sun]
• "I pointed to a spot where I told him I wanted to be buried. Michael had a meltdown right then and there when he heard this. He shrieked and bent over and said, 'No, no, no.' [He said,] 'Don't ever talk about your dying. Don't ever think about it.' I couldn't pretend to understand him. There were so many complicated signals. Did he want me to be his 'older woman' friend? He gravitated to older women. For solace? Succor? A beard? Did he want me to teach him the ropes? I never could quite figure it out." — Jane Fonda, on her relationship with Michael Jackson. [E!]
• "I wish I could say that I was inspired by him for a role, I was inspired by him because I think he was a great artist but he was not the inspiration for Willy Wonka contrary to what most people say. No no no, I never ever thought of playing Michael Jackson in a film, I think if anyone should play Michael Jackson in a film it should've been Michael Jackson. A mother and a father have lost a son, siblings have lost a brother and millions of people around the world have lost someone they love. Children have lost a father so it's obviously a very sad, sad moment." — Johnny Depp. [The Star]
• "At the moment I feel like I need to go away and figure out what I want to do and be myself for a bit. I just want to take a step back from it and not rush into stuff. I need university to give me that break. People think because I'm going to university I'm never going to act again, but it's actually me… I want to… figure out how I feel about everything first. Maybe I'll keep acting, maybe I won't. I just want to find something where I feel I have to do this. Maybe that'll happen when I read a script. It felt like that with Hermione. I want to feel like that again." — Emma Watson, who will attend Columbia University in the fall. [Elle UK, NY Daily News]

Too $hort's girlfriend-ish lady friend got on Kendra's stripper pole to show what she can do. She rolled around half-naked on the tile that surely was covered with hair, as Too $hort was in the middle of getting a trim. I love that Kendra's dog sniffed the lady's armpit.

• Time magazine will release a commemorative issue honoring Michael Jackson on Monday, featuring interviews with celebrities such as Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston, and Tina Turner. It will be the magazine's first commemorative issue released since 9/11. [Time]

• "He had a childlike heart. And that was very very impressive to me. At the end of the day we're all human beings, and for those who can't see that it is possible for a man who's an adult to have a childlike spirit, it doesn't mean that they're weird, it doesn't mean they're a freak, or whatever ridiculous things that people say. We have all kinds of people in the world. The most important thing is that your heart is in a good place."- Stevie Wonder [Time]
• Aretha Franklin took a moment of silence at her performance at the Hollywood Bowl on Friday in order to honor Jackson: "We do thank you, Michael, for every performance, for every kind thing you did, and we do want to take a moment in remembrance of Michael Jackson."[LATimes]
• "I did meet him one time, and it was amazing. He was just an awesome dad, great with his kids. His kids were so smart and attentive. They were there in the conversation as well. We had a great time. We threw around paper airplanes his son was making – like these really cool ones that were just brilliant. It was just beautiful to meet him. I'm glad I got the chance."-Alicia Keys. [People]
• President Obama has also sent a note to the Jackson family to express his condolences. [WashingtonPost]
• A replica of Michael Jackson's planned "This Is It" comeback tour will be held in September, with high profile artists such as Madonna stepping in to perform in his place as a tribute of sorts.
• Kenny Ortega, director of the "This Is It" tour says that at Thursday night's rehearsal, "There were a couple of times when Michael stood at my side and we looked at the stage together and were just beaming with gladness that we had arrived at this place. And he was happy."[LATimes]
• Dr. Conrad Murray, the last person to see Jackson alive, has hired an attorney. [LATimes]
• Murray's spokeswoman insists that he is "in no way a suspect," and is merely being investigated as a witness. [USAToday]
• At the request of the Jackson family, a second autopsy has been performed. According to NY State Police chief forensic pathologist Michael Baden, "The second autopsy will give the family a lot more information than they have right away, within a few days." [LATimes]
• Joe and Katherine Jackson claim that they are being left in the dark, as far as Michael's will is concerned, but they "really want the children," says a source. [People]
• However, a source claims that if Debbie Rowe wants to see her children, the Jackson family "won't stand in the way." [TMZ]
• "Michael's whole life was a mess except for those kids. He loved them. They didn't have a 'normal' life but Michael was always there for them," says a source, "When you talk to them, they are extraordinary people. They are not at all what you'd expect. They are very innocent, quite naive, in fact. They are good kids. Michael was a good father. He was always with them. They are lost now. They have lost the only father they've ever known." [DailyMail]
• "Please do not despair, because Michael will continue to live on in each and every one of you. Continue to spread his message, because that is what he would want you to do. Carry on, so his legacy will live forever."-Joe Jackson [CNN]
• Grace Rwaramba, who was a nanny for Jackson's kids for many years, paints a pretty tragic picture of his life, claiming that she had to pump his stomach several times and that he was not aware of how bad his financial situation was. [TimesOnline]
• Did Jackson leave a "secret library" of unheard music behind? [TimesOnline]
• Bob Dunn, the trainer who now cares for Jackson's chimpanzee, Bubbles, says that Bubbles misses Jackson: "Bubbles definitely missed him when they parted and will miss him now. Chimpanzees are intelligent. They remember people and stuff. Bubbles and Michael were close friends and playmates. The last time Michael visited, Bubbles definitely recognised and remembered him." [Telegraph]
• "What [Michael] taught me is that you always have to be nice to your fans and always treat them with love and respect. Even if you don't remember the moment, they are always going to remember that moment. That's something that I carry with me." -Corey Feldman [People]
• "Michael was great. He had a sense of humor. He worked hard. People talk about how hard Kobe Bryant works; he didn't work harder than Michael Jackson. This is what I've come to learn. You know, I did a documentary on Kobe, I know him; Michael Jordan, I worked with him a little; Michael Jackson - when you love what you do that much, it's not work. So you can go longer and harder and faster and quicker because it's not a burden. You love what you're doing."- Spike Lee [Time]
• In non-MJ news: Mel Gibson is expecting a baby girl with his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva; it will be the eighth child for Gibson. [DailyMail]
• A private funeral for Farrah Fawcett will take place on Tuesday. [Reuters]
• Eddie Van Halen married girlfriend Janie Liszewski on Saturday; Liszewski walked down the aisle to Van Halen's "When It's Love," which I'm pretty sure is the wedding equivalent of wearing the band's t-shirt to the concert. [People]
• Chris Isaak says that nobody will ever measure up to his high school sweetheart, who passed away from cancer 10 years ago: ""If I had a magic wand and I could go back in time I wouldn't have been a musician if I could have married my first girlfriend. I'd have done anything for her." [DailyExpress]
• Bad news for Russell Brand fans: Brand's second book has been shelved because he's been "too busy to finish." [Telegraph]
• "And why, oh why, is it that Bravo housewives feel the need to wax poetic on all of the charity work they do? If we were all that charitable, would we need to validate ourselves by bringing it up?"-Bethenny Frankel [E!]
• Hugh Hefner was happy to see his ex-girlfriend, Kendra Wilkinson, marry Hank Baskett on Saturday: "I could not be more delighted. This is one of the happiest days in one of the happiest places on Earth." [E!]
• "I think people are struggling with the concept of how much do you let go and age gracefully. How much do you try to, you know, fight it and stave it off?"-Michelle Pfieffer [WashingtonPost]
• Kate Hudson was in the stands as her boyfriend, Alex Rodriguez hit his 564th home run. [People]
• "It's always at the back of my mind that acting might come to an end for me when Harry Potter finishes. I don't know if I'm good enough to have a long career."- Rupert Grint [Telegraph]
• Bradley Cooper swears that he's just friends with Jennifer Aniston: "In America, its not like it is here. She's someone who is super, super known. Famous. If someone says 'hello' to her, it's given that he's fallen in love with her. So, no. No. She's a very, very interesting woman, but she's simply a friend." [People]
• "When I lived in New York I tried really hard to ditch the British accent to fit in. I went to classes and everything. I ended up putting on this terrible 'Nu Yawk' accent and hid behind that for a while. Now I don't try to hide it so much, but my accent slips all over the place. It's a mess - I don't sound like I'm from anywhere any more."- Mischa Barton [DailyMail]

• Michael Jackson's family is reportedly ready to fight his ex-wife (and mother of two of his children) Debbie Rowe for custody, as they believe that Rowe was never truly involved and that the kids should stay "within the family."[TMZ]

• Jackson's autopsy has been inconclusive thus far; it will take six to eight weeks to determine the official cause of death, pending toxicology reports. [E!]
• ""When the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose, so thank God we're celebrating him now," -Liza Minnelli [ShowbizSpy]
• Police have removed a car belonging to Dr. Conrad Murray, the last person to reportedly see Michael Jackson alive, because "it might contain evidence." [TMZ]
• Murray allegedly sent a letter to his patients 11 days ago, telling them he was "indefinitely" leaving his medical practice. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, fans are snapping up Jackson's music; on Friday, he had 9 of the top 10 albums on ITunes and "Amazon sold more Jackson merchandise in the past 24 hours than in the prior 11 years." [Yahoo]
• Magician Ed Alonzo, whom you might remember as Max from Saved by the Bell, was preparing to work his magic at Jackson's upcoming tour, and says the night before Jackson died, he seemed fine at rehearsals. "He looked great and these pop-locking moves that he was doing on stage with the crew were just breathtaking... He didn't seem tired. He went from one move to the next. It was an unbelievable experience to be with him and to see it all come together."[USWeekly]
• "When you drove up there were baby elephants and chimpanzees in overalls, and there was all the rides. It was everything you can possibly imagine. The memories I have from that place will last for the rest of my life."- Kim Kardashian on her memories of Neverland Ranch. [People]
• Fans were not pleased with Alessandra Stanley's tribute to Farrah Fawcett in the New York Times, which seemed to blame Fawcett for her own cancer. In writing about Fawcett's final special, Stanley notes that she "never made the public service point that . . . the HPV vaccine is the most promising form of prevention against this type of cancer, which in most cases is sexually acquired." [NYPost]
• "I'm cool with my body, and I'm cool running around undressed and all that stuff, but there are just certain things that not everyone needs to know, that you need to keep somehow private and personal to you. But you never know, you never know. I could be 30 years old and just be like, 'Screw it-I want to take it all off. I better take a picture of this baby before it all goes."- Hayden Panettiere [E!]
• Surprising their fans, Spoon has announced that they'll be releasing a new EP this Tuesday. [EW]
• The Mighty Boosh plan to split in because Julian Barratt reportedly wishes to spend more time with his partner, Julia Davis and their children, while Noel Fielding "still loves the gig scene." [TheSun]
• Coolio will enter an 18-month rehab program in order to avoid jail time after pleading guilty to possession of cocaine.[Reuters]
• Evan Rachel Wood and Alan Cumming have been tapped to star in the Broadway adaptation of Spider-Man, which will be directed by Julie Taymor. Wood will play Mary Jane Watson; Cumming will play the Green Goblin. [Variety]
• Richard Dreyfuss has devoted himself to the revival of civics education in schools, as he believes its necessary for children to learn the importance of getting involved. [USAToday]
• Is Emma Watson trading in her Hogwarts robes for a stint at Columbia? [DailyExpress]
• Blind Item: "Which actor just had a baby with his girlfriend, but behind her back is having an affair with his fellow actor friend?" [BlindGossip]
• Heidi Fleiss is planning on marrying Dennis Hof owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch: "I'm proud to say that I'm clean and sober, and I'm finally ready to make a commitment to one man - and that's Dennis. It's going to be my first and only wedding, so it's going to be fabulous." [DailyExpress]
• Faith Hill and Tim McGraw "waited in line just like everybody else at the opening of the new Titanic exhibition at Discovery Times Square" with their children the other day and were reportedly very nice to fans. [PageSix]
• Former Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is getting married today, and fellow ex-GND Holly Madison says"she's probably nervous," but that the ceremony is "going to be really beautiful and touching." [People]
• "I can't think of myself in terms of celebrity. It's just too weird. If the choice is between being gawked at and sitting in a chair in a dark room, I prefer the dark room."-Johnny Depp. You guys wouldn't happen to have a dark room that Johnny Depp could just make hide out in, would you? [ShowbizSpy]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

It was explained to her several times that the alien in the museum was a prop from a movie.

• Though Scotland Yard is investigating Lindsay Lohan for stealing jewels from a photo shoot, a rep from British Elle says they have no reason to suspect Linds was the thief.

• A spokeswoman said, "I can confirm on behalf of Elle magazine that items of jewelry went missing from an Elle photo shoot two weeks ago and the matter is now being investigated by the police. Elle has no reason to believe that Lindsay Lohan was in any way responsible and has no further comment to make." [TMZ]
• A temporary restraining order was issued today against Miranda Tozier-Robbins, the woman who was caught trespassing on Britney Spears' property in April. Tozier-Robbins must stay 100 yards from Brit and her home. She will be arraigned next week on two misdemeanor charges. [E!, TMZ]
• When asked who he would most like to punch in the face, Michael Lohan said, "Perez Hilton." But the line is so long! [Perez Hilton]
• Amy Winehouse's parents says she's kicked her drug habit, but is still abusing alcohol. Her father Mitch said, "I need my daughter to be a whole person again. I've tried it all. I said: 'Amy you've got to do this, you've got to go to this doctor, you've got to do this, you've got to do that, you're killing me, you're killing your mum.' None of it worked." He added that her estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil was fuelling her drug habit. "The option of them being together is too horrible to contemplate," he said. [The Sun]
• Linda Hogan's former hairdresser testified in a hearing regarding Hulk Hogan's motion to reduce the amount of alimony he pays Linda that "She was actually buying drugs with the money... She told me that." The woman said Linda asked her to cash check from Hulk for her to mislead his attorneys about how the money was being spent. [TampaBay.com]
• In response, Brooke Hogan told E! that she feels betrayed by her mother. "I look at the things she's released and said about me and I'm like, how could I ever trust her again?" she said, "I'm the only one with my head on straight." [E!]
• Barbara Walters is mad because an online ad for an anti-aging pill called Exilatrol is using her picture and says "As seen on Barbara Walters and 60 Minutes." She Tweeted: "If u see ads for products with Resveratrol showing my photo and name they are false." [TMZ]
• Beyonce will perform at the BET Awards on June 21. [Rolling Stone]
• Last night on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Heidi Pratt wore the exact same dress Kristin Cavallari wore on the show a few days earlier. No one knows why, but producers on The Hills probably have an inkling. [Perez Hilton]
• Several sources say publisher William Morris Endeavor is considering a book proposal form Portia de Rossi. She's submitted a writing sample that deals with her battle with anorexia. [NY Observer]
• Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett says he'll be very involved in fiance Kendra Wilkinson's pregnancy. "It takes two people to get pregnant. You can't have just one person doing everything," said Baskett. "There's going to be some things I can't make, but I'm going to try my hardest to be at every appointment, at every meeting, everything." He added, "Hef will be a part of the baby's life. That's one of the first things we want to do is bring the baby out here to California and let Hef be introduced. I can see 'The Godfather' being a good name for Hef!" [People]
• Weird Al Yankovic has released a new single, "Craigslist," which he says is an homage to the Doors. [UPI]
• Adam Lambert says he has met a lot of celebrities recently, but Madonna made him the most starstruck. He "I met Madonna and that was pretty wild. Most everybody I've met is pretty cool and on the level, but Madonna is just legendary," he said. "I've been a fan of hers since I was a kid. So that's definitely part of the intimidation factor." [People]
• At their daughter's high school graduation, sources say Tatum O'Neal was seated in the section reserved for extended family, while her ex-husband John McEnroe and his new wife were near the stage. O'Neal's rep denies there was tension between the two, saying, "Tatum went to say hello to relatives and returned to her assigned seat, in the immediate-family section." [The Daily Express]
• Here's a clip from 500 Days of Summer starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. [New York Magazine]
• "Heidi Klum Gains Preggers Pounds, Still Looks Hot." Heidi says, "I'm bigger than I should be, but I always gain 40-45 pounds, so I still have a ways to go." [E!]
• Though many unpleasant details about her life came out during the run of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle Staub says she has no regrets. "We're just allowing everyone to see what goes on all over the place," she said. "We're just letting everyone else see [our drama]. That's why people are relating to us so well - because it's what's happening with them. People are acting like that everywhere. We're making it okay." [People]
• Damn fine news: Kyle MacLachlan wants to play Agent Dale Cooper again. He says, "I have a crazy idea to bring back Twin Peaks on the net as five minute webisodes." But he explains David Lynch won't be involved, adding, "David's focus is more on transcendental meditation now." [The Daily Express]
• Whitney Houston's untitled comeback album will be released on September 1 and features a duet with Akon and a track written and produced by Alicia Keys. [Showbiz 411]
• Jordan says that she suffered from post-natal depression after her 4-year-old son was born. "After post-natal depression it has taken me four years to get to the healthy place I am now - I now no longer need anti-depressants," she says, "It does take time, but you will feel better again and I am absolutely fine." [The Sun]
• Billy Joel wants to buy his wife Katie Lee, who was a host on Top Chef, a restaurant in Sag Harbor, New York. [TMZ]
• Shocking news: 16-year old Selena Gomez says she's never been in love, despite having dated Nick Jonas and Taylor Lautner. [People]
• Ashanti will make her stage debut this week as Dorothy in a New York production of The Wiz. She says she picked the show because, "It's such a historical, historical piece. It means so much to my family. I actually played Dorothy in The Muppets' Wizard of Oz ironically. I can relate to her character so much, just being innocent and naïve starting out in this business and gradually learning as you move along." [The New York Times]
• Lapsed Scientologist/billionaire James Packer has offered Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes the use of his private suite in Melbourne's Crown Towers complex for the next month while Tom films in Australia. [News.com.au]
• Lucie Kim, the woman suing Miley Cyrus over the racist photo she took has amended the lawsuit to say that Justin Gaston should have stopped her because as an adult, Miley's parents gave him authority to "supervise, manage, guard, and oversee [Miley's] conduct while in [his] presence." [TMZ]
• Though there has been no mention of another Indiana Jones movie, Shia LaBeouf announced "Steven [Spielberg] just said that he cracked the story on it, and I think they're gearing that up." [Total Film]
• Last night comedian Artie Lange hijacked the taping of the first episode of HBO's Joe Buck Live, making obscene and homophobic jokes about Buck and Tony Romo, and saying Jessica Simpson is a "fat chick" who looks like Chris Farley. "Do I think it went too far? Yes," said Buck. "Will he be back? If it's up to me, no. But again it's live TV man." [USA Today]
• As part of the guerilla marketing for Hammertime the new A&E show about the life of MC Hammer, a group of people wearing gold harem pants bust into a L.A. clothing store and danced to "You Can't Touch This." You can watch the video at the link. [AdRants]
• FYI, Robert Pattinson is the "most handsome man in the world," according to a Vanity Fair poll and a legion of 14-year-old girls. [Vanity Fair]
• Kim Kardashian says Heidi Pratt called her to ask for advice about doing Playboy "Actually, I was in Mexico and I got a call from Heidi saying, 'Call me right now,'" Kardashian says. "So I called her and she had said to me, 'What do you think? What's your opinion on if I were to do Playboy?'" She told her to "go for it... I think that now's the time," says Kim. "I think it's a very classy magazine. It's artsy. I talked her through the whole process and helped her make up her mind." [ONTD]
• When asked if she dresses up for her husband Josh Duhamel, Fergie said, "Oh, girl, I've got a big chest of fun little numbers, ones that I would never wear in public... I like to have fun with my costume onstage; why wouldn't I in the bedroom?" [People]
• Jada Pinkett Smith revealed some sex tips, and the fact that she's a really party guest to Redbook. She says: "Be sneaky... your girlfriend's house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom... Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex.... Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary! Pull over on the side of the road... Just switch it up. Anything like that can keep it going. Anything it takes to keep the flame alive." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz has been celibate for the past four years. He explains that four years ago, "I was doing my normal thing and I was with somebody, and I remember waking up in the morning thinking, 'What am I doing?' It's not that I was all over the place. It's not, like, groupies or somebody you'd pick up on the street. I didn't carry on like that. It was somebody that I know. But it was still, 'What am I doing? And why?' And that morning I was just talking to God, as I do, and I said, 'You got to help me to stop this. I just really want to stop this.' And that was the day that it changed." [The Telegraph]
• Denis Leary on Susan Boyle: "I think she's a hobbit. The no expectations aspect was fantastic. I kind of wanted her to be the person who not only could sing, but was gonna tell everyone to fuck off and would become the new sex symbol. I hope she comes back fucking crazy like Judy Garland on acid. I'd like to feed her a lot of booze and pills and just let her sing beautiful songs and threaten people from the stage." [TV Squad]