• Charlie Sheen was hospitalized this morning after an alleged 36-hour drug and booze bender. He reportedly had a "briefcase full of cocaine" delivered yesterday, and had to be removed from his home on a stretcher.

• 20-year-old Amber Portwood rang in the new year by getting drunk with a former cellmate and two paparazzi, then hooking up with one of the guys. Meanwhile, her ex Gary Shirley is designing a daddy and daughter clothing line.

Plenty of the luminaries on CoverGirl 50th-anniversary red carpet were lovely. Then there was Drew Barrymore's neon sack...

• Holly Madison commented on Hugh Hefner's engagement to Crystal Harris for the first time last night, saying, "I'm very surprised ... I have a lot of different feelings on it."

For its special on "Celebrity Weight Loss" last night, Primetime interviewed Kendra Wilkinson and Bethenny Frankel (who showed off their post-baby bodies in tabloids this year). Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of mixed messages about health and body image.

Today in Tweet Beat, even 50 Cent has to shovel his own driveway. Plus, Hugh Hefner gives his sons—who are only four and five years younger than their soon-to-be step mom—every issue of Playboy for Christmas.

Kendra Wilkinson's son Hank Baskett IV first appeared on the cover of OK! a year ago today, at just five days old. Here's a look at the scandals he's weathered in his short life, from "diaper mishaps" to sex tapes.

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I make the weekly tabloids turn their head and cough. Today, John Mayer has a "sizzling" hookup with a Food Network star, Pink is pregnant and Kendra needs a shrink.

• More on this in Midweek Madness: Life & Style is reporting that before she entered a treatment center, Demi Lovato had become a big fan of cocaine.

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we attempt to satisfy our cravings for "news" with the weekly tabloids. This week: Pregnant Mariah can haz cheeseburger; Heidi and Spencer mooch off his parents; and Tish Cyrus is the "ultimate groupie."

• Teen Mom star Amber Portwood's boyfriend Gary Shirley has been photographed hooking up with another woman at a club. Amber's dad confirms that they've broken up, adding that it's Gary's fault that Amber hit him on national television.

• In a totally predicable career move, Kim Kardashian has started recording an album. It seems Kim wants to be a pop star, thus proving that she has talent for something other than making sexyface and gabbing about her family.

• Christina Aguilera, a woman who cannot stop releasing songs that are a metaphor for her vagina, celebrated her new found freedom by allegedly engaging in a menage a trois with Sam Ronson, America's favorite gateway lesbian.

• Miley Cyrus' parents, Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus, have announced that they're divorcing after 17 years of marriage. They said in a statement, "We are trying to work through some personal matters. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers."

• Seventy-two year old Jane Fonda is talking about her recent plastic surgery, saying, "It was a hard decision to make."

Today in Tweet Beat, celebs like Heidi Montag, Kendra Wilkinson and Adrianne Curry thank the late Dr. Ryan for changing their, um, lives. Also, Chris Brown posts a picture of himself doing community service—topless.

• After serving only 14 days of her jail sentence, it looks like Lindsay Lohan won't be spending a full 90 days in rehab either.

The ESPN ESPY awards, honoring athletes across sports, make for one of our favorite red carpets of the year. And this one, at Nokia Theatre L.A., was no exception. But...why was Zac Efron there?

Kendra appeared this morning on Today to discuss the release of her memoir, Sliding Into Home, in which she reveals salacious details about her drug use (meth!), stripping, and life at the Playboy Mansion—including sex with Hugh Hefner.