• Tom Cruise is being sued by Michael David Sapir, who he sued in 2001 after Sapir claimed he had a video of Cruise "engaged in a homosexual relationship." Now Sapir says Cruise hired a P.I. to wiretap his phone.

He says the wiretapping took place during the 2001 case, which was later settled. Afterwards, both parties issued a statement saying the tape never existed. [TMZ]

• An autopsy was performed today on Brittany Murphy. Sources say there were no signs of foul play, but nothing that pointed to a cause of death either. Now the coroner is waiting for the toxicology report and other lab tests come back. [TMZ]
• The LAPD has concluded its preliminary investigation into the death of Brittany Murphy and sources say there is no evidence of foul play. [TMZ ]
• In this article, Brittany Murphy's "friends" say she got addicted to prescription drugs after having plastic surgery, used cocaine, and had an eating disorder. "We have been very worried something like this was about to happen. Brittany has been living life on the edge. She definitely had a drug problem and we have all begged her to seek help. Sadly our words fell on deaf ears," said the source. [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher, who dated Brittany Murphy, showed up to a book signing for Kabbalah leader Yehuda Berg on Sunday afternoon, but an eyewitness says he "looked visibly shaken when he arrived. He was physically there to support Berg, but mentally he was on another planet." [Star]
• This video isn't all that interesting, but it now seems creepy in light of Brittany Murphy's death. At a public appearance, she says to a reporter, "Can I have your hair in my next life please?" The reporter replies, "Can I be you in my next life?" [TMZ]
• In an e-mail to ABC News, Brittany Murphy's half-brother Jeff Bertolotti said, "I haven't seen my little sis for eight years or so now due to family issues and Hollywood politics, but never have i lost my heart for that sweet little child... I'm torn up in side beyond belief. It's just not natural for a man of 54 to see his kid sister of 32 leave in such an abrupt manner as this. The loss is just unbearable to us all." [ABC News]
• A clip of Abby Elliott impersonating Brittany Murphy on the December 5 episode of SNL was removed from Hulu last night. [EW]
• Hockey player Mike Fisher confirmed that he and Carrie Underwood are engaged at a press conference before an Ottawa Senators game tonight. "It's true," said Fisher. "We're both obviously excited and very happy." [Ottawa Sun]
• Her rep says: "I'm happy to confirm that Carrie Underwood is engaged to Mike Fisher, and the couple couldn't be happier... No wedding date has been set at this time." [People]
• There's a rumor going around that Jay-Z and Beyonce have changed their legal names to Shawn and Beyonce Knowles-Carter. A source says Beyonce wanted to keep the Knowles name alive because her parents had no boys. [Media Take Out]
• Britney Spears' manager posted a "BS Alert" on her blog listing the 75 most outlandish stories published about Britney last year. He lists a story about Britney dating Indian choreographer Sandip Soparrkar as the most ridiculous, but we think Courtney Love posting on her Facebook page "britneys dad molested her" is more disturbing. [Us]
• The FBI was supposed to release 333 pages of formerly-classified documents about Michael Jackson today, but they've been delayed by a day due to the snow storm. Source say the documents show that in 1993 Johnnie Cochran contacted the FBI and claimed the family of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of child molestation was just trying to extort money from MJ. [TMZ]
• Wave goodbye to Tiger Woods: Sources say he and some friends took off on his yacht from Florida this weekend and they're cruising to the Bahamas. [E!]
• It seems all of Tiger Woods' neighbors knew that he was cheating because he'd take women out to dinner and bring them to his home. "Elin feels that Tiger made a fool of her and that's not something she can forgive," said a source. [Radar Online]
• Sources say the husband of Theresa Rogers, the woman who had the longest affair with Tiger Woods, found out about their affair but made some kind of arrangement so she could keep sleeping with Tiger. [Radar Online]
• Moments after Pete Doherty escaped a prison sentence by admitted to careless and drunken driving in court, he was arrested on suspicon of possessing a controlled drug and taken to the police station across the street from the court house. [The Telegraph]
• Boy George is appealing his probation sentence for imprisoning a male escort because it prevents him from appearing on Celebrity Big Brother. [BBC]
• Are Randy and Evi Quaid on the lam? This morning they posted bail and later they were seen packing some belongings into their car and driving off into the sunset. [Perez Hilton]
• Check out Evi Quaid's mug shot from her arrest on Saturday here: [Radar Online]
• New Zealand TV host Paul Henry, who said Susan Boyle was "starved of oxygen at birth" and "she is in fact retarded," has apologized saying, "I am sorry that some people have taken what I said in a way that I never intended." [AFP]
• Want to party with the cast of Jersey Shore? It's going to cost you. Michael Schweiger of CEG Talent says, "We get the most requests for Mike (aka The Situation) and Pauly D. They're $7,500 per person." [E!]
• One of Bon Jovi's sons was taken to the hospital in New Jersey this morning. Authorities said the incident wasn't serious and he's already been released. [Perez Hilton]
• Taylor Swift is in talks to star in the remake of the 1984 flop Supergirl! The Love Story. [The Wrap]
• Taylor Swift has been named the Associated Press Entertainer of the Year. "I am so honored and so excited," Swift said. "This was so unexpected, and I could not be more grateful." Tina Fey won last year and Stephen Colbert won in 2007. [AP]
• The AP says Michael Jackson's death was the biggest entertainment story of 2009 (obvs.). [AP]
• No surprises here either: Entertainment Weekly named Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's How To Be Famous the worst book of the year. [EW]
• Jessica Simpson posted this video of herself using an ear candle, which was a Christmas gift from her hair stylist Ken Paves, on her Twitter for some unknown reason. [Buzzfeed]
• Some previously unseen letters Princess Diana wrote in the 1980s have been released. In one letter she tells a friend, "I could not resist opening my present, as a parcel of any shape or form has never been safe with me and I fear that William has also picked up this dreadful habit from his mother, as I find wrapping paper undone in the most extraordinary places!" [Daily Mail]
• Nancy Meyers says Alec Baldwin demanded a butt double for It's Complicated. "He said, 'Mine's beautiful. However, I don't want to do that,'" she reported. [Us]

[Malaga, Spain; June 9. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Paris Hilton plays a woman who wants plastic surgery in Repo: The Genetic Opera, but she claims she's never had surgery. "I love being all-natural," she claims. All natural? Ahem. Let's just look at those boobs, that nose, the blue contacts that cover those brown eyes and, oh, yeah, the nose. [Daily Beast]
• Paris Hilton totally assisted in the election excitement with her silly videos, you guys: "I was talking about issues and actually making sense but still playing with my image at the same time. Doing it in a ditzy way, but actually saying things I think can really help it along." [E!]
• Britneyspears.com now hosts weekly awards called The PapaRAZZIEs that highlight the antics of obnoxious paps: "Terrorizing Britney has unfortunately become a daily part of the paparazzi's lives. So, we've decided to start calling these maniacs out each week by awarding a PapaRAZZIE to the worst of the worst! Each week we will be presenting an award to the most outrageous and ridiculous pap moment and you have to check out what we found this week. The guy who's shooting this video actually starts mooing at Mary Kate Olsen!" [ONTD]
• Could Britney be focusing on paparazzi because she's dating one? The rumors that she's back with Adnan Ghalib will not die. An "insider" tells the National Enquirer: "Britney and Adnan are constantly on the phone or text-messaging each other. Britney gets excited when he calls or texts because he lavishes her with compliments." [MSNBC]
• Prepare yourself: Daniel Craig NAKED. [The Sun]

• Barack Obama had a conference call yesterday with "African-American leaders." On the phone: Oprah Winfrey, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Donna Brazile, House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn, and Rev. Joseph Lowery. [Politico]
• "Oprah Working O-vertime For Obama." [Rush & Molloy]
• Diddy, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Beyoncé were in Philadelphia yesterday for a "promote the vote" block party. Mary J's haircut gets my vote! [Concrete Loop]
• People has a poll: "Do You Approve Of Jen & John's Relationship?" Sorry, but we need to vote on this OTHER issue that seems WAY more important at the moment. [People]
• After being hit in the head with a camera in a kerfluffle outside of a restaurant, Jessica Simpson's BFF Ken Paves says: "While I did not expect a dinner out with friends would end up with me in the emergency room and nine stitches in my head, I am fine." He got nine stitches. Being friends with a celebrity is dangerous! [People]
• Jennifer Hudson kissed her mother goodbye during a private service for her murdered family members in Chicago on Monday. [People]
• Jennifer's stepbrother says: "Right now she is just praying and staying strong. Just pray for her." [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another rumored wedding: Fergie and Josh Duhamel might tie the knot in June 2009. She's started working with wedding planners and wants a Karl Lagerfeld gown. Who doesn't? [Just Jared]
• Mary-Kate Olsen says he thinks it's weird that people were into her "boho" style. "For me it was laziness. I wore my pyjamas and threw on whatever was warm enough. It still amazes me. It's just layers and it doesn't make any sense to me at all." That makes two of us! [Daily Express]
• Ashley Olsen responds to the rumor that she's getting married: "No truth at all. I told the National Enquirer that, but they don't print what we actually say." [E!]
• Will Russell Brand play Johnny Depp's brother in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean flick? [Telegraph]
• Heidi Klum spoofs Tom Cruise's Risky Business shirt-and-boxers dance for a Guitar Hero commercial. Except she's in a bra and undies. Click and see. [The Sun]
• Ew: Justin Long hooked up with Tila Tequila? [Page Six]
• Despite separation and tension, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni took their kids trick-or-treating. Kudos. [Page Six]
• A flick from 1971 in which Susan Sarandon is "sexy and nude" is being released on DVD, if you're into that. [Page Six]
• Carrie Underwood says she hasn't spoken to ex Tony Romo "since, like, May." So Jessica Simpson can calm the hell down. [People]
• Salma Hayek was spotted getting cozy with her baby daddy, French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault. Will they get back together? [People]
• Leona Lewis went to South Africa and now she wants a South African baby. "I wanted to take home all the kids. They were so cute. All of them had been orphaned because of HIV and it was heart-rending," she says. "There are so many who need help – both here and abroad – you just don't know where to start. My mum was a social worker and my dad was a youth offender officer, so I know that there are a lot of kids out there that need to be fostered and adopted. I definitely want to adopt." [People]
• Baz Luhrmann's epic movie Australia (starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman) hits theaters November 26, but it's not even done yet. [NY Mag]
• Keith Urban to Nicole Kidman: "You do look good in my shirt. And out of it! But that's a different story." [People]
• Emma Watson is dating a young Australian student and this paper knows lots of details about him. He's a rower who loves rugby and has a background in theater. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof has been living in New York for "five minutes" and has "already picked up an American accent." [The Sun]
• Will Smith is determined to star in a Bollywood film. Maybe we should loan other stars out to other countries. Where shall we send Jessica Simpson? [Daily Express]
• Witness Seal speaking about his new album. [Mirror]
• The rumor that Joe the Plumber maybe hooked up with SNL's Kristen Wiig: False. [Politico]
• Antonio Sabato Jr is "ready to love again," so, naturally, he's looking for a lady via a reality show. Romantic! [Perez Hilton]
• Olympic gold medal-winning skier Picabo Street got married! On top of a mountain, of course. [People]
• Negotiations for Cloris Leachman to join the cast of Young Frankenstein on Broadway are still underway. All together now: Blucher! [Yahoo News]
• Ooh, Jane Fonda on Broadway: She'll star in 33 Variations, a play by Moises Kaufman about a present-day musicologist (played by Fonda) and her study of Beethoven's fascination with a particular piece of music. [AP]
• What's up with the Ramones and the election? Johnny's widow Linda has been campaigning for McCain; Joey's brother says: “I just want it to be clear that Linda Cummings does not represent the political views of the Ramones." [Reuters]
• An amazing profile of Grace Jones includes information about her brother, Christian, who was "born swishy." According to the piece, "When Christian clashed with his parents, Grace took his side and began the rebellion that she turned into a career." [Telegraph]
• The firing of Brooke Smith from Grey's Anatomy means the end of a mature, woman-on-woman (as opposed to girl-on-girl) lesbian relationship, which, TV critic Mary McNamara says, "is bad for the world." [LA Times]
• Have you seen Liv Tyler in those Nintendo DS ads? She says: "I'd never played a game before they asked me to shoot this. It's actually quite addictive. There's something childlike about being able to just play." Also, that's her sister Chelsea in the commercial with her. [USA Today]
• There's a bench warrant out for the arrest of John Cusack's stalker. Keep an eye out for a 33-year-old woman obsessed with Better Off Dead. [E!]
• The surfers charged with roughing up a paparazzo who was crowding Matthew McConaughey on a Malibu beach pleaded not guilty Monday to misdemeanor battery charges. Pretrial hearing in January, dude. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Heather Mills built a swimming pool without permission, and in a desperate attempt to keep it, she's saying it actually serves a the public, because the fire brigade can use in case of a fire. [Daily Mail]
• Dr. Phil's son did a book signing at the Mall Of American and no one really cared or showed up. Okay, not true. There were about a dozen people and he said, "I know most of you." The signing started at 2 p.m. and he was done by 2:30. [Star Tribune]
• Know how we're always talking about no new ideas in Hollywood? The Farrelly brothers are directing a comedy called Three Stooges. Out in late 2009. [Variety]
• Charges have yet to be filed against Heather Locklear in that DUI case; it's still being investigated. [Yahoo News via E!]
• ¡Mierda! Kylie Minogue had five suitcases stolen hours before her Latin America tour started. Laptops, cameras, passports and show outfits were taken when she landed in the Colombian capital of Bogota. Eh, the show must go on. [The Sun]
• Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler's civil trial kicked off yesterday: He's accused of assaulting a tow-truck driver. His lawyers filed a motion seeking to keep other attorneys from blabbing to the press about the case; rumor has it Wahler shouted racist slurs at the driver, who is black. [Yahoo News via E!]
• The husband of slain actress Adrienne Shelly is suing the manager of the New York City building where she died and the renovation company that hired the man who killed her. [USA Today]
• NFL players taking Nikki Haskell's Star Caps diet pills? Huh? [Page Six]
• Hmm, Lionel Ritchie has Akon and Ne-Yo on his new album. Trying to connect with the kids? [Yahoo News]
• George Carlin's daughter has a book deal to do an oral history of her father's life, due in fall 2009. [USA Today]
• Charlize Theron may star with Tom Cruise in The Tourist, a remake of a 2005 French Thriller in which she'd play an Interpol agent who uses an American tourist "in an attempt to flush out an elusive criminal with whom she once had an affair." [Variety]
• A former UCLA Medical Center employee has pleaded not guilty to charges that she sold information from Farrah Fawcett's file to a tabloid magazine. [USA Today]
• Kate Beckinsale looks foxy on the cover of Elle UK. [Elle UK]
• "Growing up in Jamaica the Pentecostal church wasn't that fiery thing you might think. It was very British, very proper. Hymns. No dancing. Very quiet. Very fundamental. You might see some rastas going by on their bicycles but you were taught to run and hide under your bed if that happened. They were demons, devils. You had to wear a hat to go to church. We weren't allowed to straighten our hair. We couldn't wear jewellery, nail polish, open backed shoes, skirts above the knee... trousers were forbidden because male apparel on a female was not Godly." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]
• "If [Obama] doesn't get into office, I'm gonna change my citizenship. I'm moving back to Africa. You can hold me to that. I'm afraid to live there if [McCain] is President. The decisions he makes scare me: he's making selfish decisions, he's doing whatever it takes to get into office. I don't think [McCain] is going to last eight years so [Palin]'s definitely going to be president. Oh my goodness - that's scarier. And who would be her running mate? Joe the Plumber?" — Akon. [Perez Hilton]
• "He said, 'Ahh you're the girl from Wedding Crashers.' He freaked out and backed away from me. I'm like, 'I'm not actually a bi-polar nymphomaniac.'" — Isla Fisher. [News.com.au]
• "Leo — that’s one of my best friends and I’m one of his. That’s just my boy. Tobey’s my boy. We all love sports. We’re all into politics. We all have a stake in the artistic community. We all have a lot of similar interests." — Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "I've been saying to him for seven years, 'When are you going to put out the record? He’s such an artist. He wants it to be perfect." — Leonardo DiCaprio, on Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "Leo and I were always aware that if we were going to do something together again that there would be a sense of expectation. It was going to have to be the right thing. There's an emotional shorthand that Leo and I have and a physical ease because we've known each other so long… Leo and I, you know, are sort of kindred spirits — we're cut from the same cloth." — Kate Winslet, on her Revolutionary Road costar, Leo DiCaprio. [MSNBC]
• "There are too many girls in here… too many model asses all over the place." — Shannen Doherty, at a New York party. [ONTD]
• "I don’t really get involved in political affairs because of the way I was brought up and being a Jehovah’s Witness, but it’s exciting to see someone like Barack Obama have a chance to lead one of the world’s biggest nations. And it’s just interesting. Think 40 years ago or 30 years ago, all the things that were going on, the persecution we had to go through. And it’s good. It makes my heart smile." — Serena Williams. [NY Times]
• "Ideally I want to have another three kids biologically and then adopt. If something happened and there was a child who needed a home before that, then I’d do it. All I know is that I haven’t finished yet when it comes to having kids." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "When I perform on stage I become those male bullies, those dominators from my childhood. That's probably why it's so scary, because they scared me. I enjoy being feminine, but I like role swapping." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]

MEGAN: Oh, hey, so, apparently we all agree that Obama hasn't screwed anything up yet on his trip. And I think Obama knows where to recruit door-knockers for Florida, if only because I think the sight of a bunch of Palestinians knocking on doors saying "Ma'am, believe me, we know, Barack Obama isn't going to change the United States' policies on Israel one iota."
MOE: I DRANK SO MUCH LAST NIGHT actually I didn't I just drank enough. Surprising fact: I did not drink on Saturday or Sunday night at all. Not one drop! When that happens it throws my system out of whack you know.
MEGAN: I know, it's like, the sun is less bright on those days. I started buying beer, actually, because it was so hot and to get into shape for Germany but I can't consume enough of it all in one sitting to get drunk, it's a little sad still.
MOE: Oh look David Brooks is talking about debtor nation again huh cool.
MEGAN: In honor of your hangover, I recommend reading this analysis of how, by not publishing McCain's OpEd on Obama and the surge, the New York Times MOE: Holy itshay is that you Bobo??

This third position begins with the notion that people are driven by the desire to earn the respect of their fellows. Individuals don’t build their lives from scratch. They absorb the patterns and norms of the world around them.

Yeah regarding McCain, he wouldn't have looked like an idiot I don't think because who reads op-eds "written" by really important people? (Exception that proves the rule being Angelina of course.)
MEGAN: Dammit, I hate agreeing with Brooks! I mean, he does it without resorting to Marxism which is where you or I would go with it, but the idea that we're eroded a social norm by scaling down luxury goods, accept indebtedness as a way of life and normifying conspicuous consumption, man, dammit, I hate that. It's like, even my friends in Germany were surprised that as an American the only debts I have are student loans and my mortgage.
Like, even they all know we're a fucked up country when it comes to debt, even if they only know if because they're importing our debt culture like the rest of the bits of the worst of American culture we export elsewhere.
Oh, wait, phew, all is right in the world as Brooks descends into madness again.

The Treasury and the Fed are trying to stabilize the system while still ensuring that those who made mistakes feel the pain.

LOLZ, the government is trying to make sure people who made mistakes feel the pain. Sure, unless you're Bear Stearns or Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae, sure unless you're the trader that committed the frauds that undermined the stability of IndyMac and cost a bunch of old people their (uninsured) retirement savings and shit. "Feel the pain." The people that caused most of the problems won't feel any pain.
MEGAN: Anyway, so, the GOP has decided to stop suing people for using their logo which is like unAmerican to stop suing people and yet it's anti-trial lawyer and sort of pro-tort reform so perhaps more fitting with Republican ideology.
MOE: And I still don't know what to talk about, I guess there was that meme about how Colin Powell and Condi Rice may endorse Obama because of that whole identity politics factor but Condi identifies more with fellow alienbots so I'm thinking no on that one.
MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, what exactly is fitting with her political ideology that Obama espouses?
MOE: Well I think her exercise regimen is a big component of her ideology, and she totes has a crush on Michelle. But is that enough? Well shit, maybe for Condi!
MEGAN: Ok, can we talk about the fact that Cindy McCain travels with a stylist? I knew her and Megan's hair was too shiny to be true.
MOE: Oh I guess we have to talk about Obama's "fake" interviews. I mean, it would be one thing if someone said this who did not work for the memefactory, but I see what she's saying. That's the one thing I always dug about McCain is his "I'm just going to babble about whatever pops into my mind" PR strategy.
And Meghan HAS to have extensions right?
MEGAN: I don't know, I mean, I have seen her up close, if they are extensions, Ken Paves is grinding his teeth down to little points in envy.
MOE: Whoa I did not realize Cindy

fought her fear of campaigning via small planes by getting her pilot's license without telling her husband

Oh this is a good story, I love Libby Copeland.
MEGAN: I mean, you want to hate her, and then it's just hard. She's so nice-seeming.
The charity work, etc. Also, wtf, Andrea Mitchell? I'm not sure I get that, is she just mad she flew all the way over their and Obama chose Lara Logan or something?
MOE: (The writer.) (Who I was like totally jealous of for like ninety years because she went to school with me and NEVER WORKED A MILLISECOND ON THE SCHOOL PAPER WHERE I TOILED.) I did not think she was so good when she started at the Washington Post but now I love pretty much everything she does and I have to say, it is nice to suspect you would dislike someone and then turn out to be wrong. Okay, so Cindy McCain, she seems cool, I have to say. Not as cool as Michelle, but the thing about having disadvantages or whatever is that it is sometimes its own advantage, and Cindy grew up rich and blond and cheerleadery in Arizona. I wonder if she ever even saw Do The Right Thing. Nevertheless, she was just in Cambodia.
MEGAN: And for Operation Smile, which we all know I have a very soft spot for, even if the founder seemed totally amazed that I didn't have a speech impediment when we met once.
MOE:

"You just can't just help but love her, honey," says John's mother, the irrepressible 96-year-old Roberta McCain, who several times during an interview says she has nothing to say and then keeps adding things. She describes Cindy as a seamless mother who has managed her four children's lives with seeming effortlessness, all while looking fantastic and wearing the most stylish clothes. "I don't see any chink in her armor, and I'm not biased," she says.

MEGAN: Yes, as a mother-in-law, you certainly wouldn't be biased at all Roberta. Now, see, this is a serious question. I can't say from his first wife, as she's not so keen to do interviews, but between his mother, her, and Cindy, how in the world does McCain still not know better than to tell anti-woman jokes? Because, really, he's kind of surrounded by cool-seeming chicks. I want to totally be Roberta McCain when I'm 92, if I don't off myself at 60 of course.
MOE: hahaha

She is, in the words of her brother-in-law Joe McCain, a self-editor. Aware she is under a spotlight, she recognizes that everything she says must be carefully framed, or it can be taken out of context. "The best way to put it in context is to not say it," he says.

I am getting that tattooed on my knuckles.
MEGAN: Fuck my knuckles, I might be wearing gloves! I'm getting that tattooed upside down on my cleavage, the one thing that is always visible.
MOE: omg let's get tattoos together!
MEGAN: Yes, totally, I have been itching for one for years, I'd bet Attackerman knows a place, you know, somehow.
MOE: Yo this is really rough:

"John was with me the first time I lost a baby," she told Harper's Bazaar last year, "but not for those after, which was hard."

MEGAN: Yeah, I read that then and I felt awful for her. I mean, dude, as obviously as she wanted kids and as young as she apparently was, you have to wonder how they got through that. It wasn't like in the 50s or something, you know?
Also, can we all say a heart "Fuck you" to Karl Rove for this again?

She did, however, cry in front of reporters after smear attacks during the 2000 South Carolina primary insinuated that McCain had fathered an illegitimate black child — a reference to Bridget, born in Bangladesh.

All together, please: Fuck you, Karl Rove.
MOE: Here's another thing, like, she didn't feel like she was addicted because he didn't notice. Oh my, you know, like that is a lesson: do not rely on dudes to notice you have a problem, or really, anything at all about your condition unless they somehow interpret it to involve you being "mad" at them. I bet she was actually weirdly flattered that one time he called her a trollop for wearing too much makeup because it was like, you noticed?
MEGAN: Oh, God, I hear that for sure. Like, actually, a friend of a friend divorced his wife (eventually) for being a coke addict and he only noticed when he couldn't get money out of an ATM one day and went to the bank to complain and found out they didn't have any more. Like, any. That's an addiction.
Also, I stopped trying long ago with dudes. If I want them to notice, I'll say "Hey, I got my haircut, do you like it," or, "Hey, I dyed it red, what do you think," or, "Hey, I lost 30 pounds, what do you think of my ass now," you know, shit like that.
MOE: Hahaha I feel like dudes are pretty good at noticing that shit. "You look different…good" Hey thanks I washed my hair! I found that purple eyeshadow that vaguely recalls Debbie Gibson circa Electric Youth but oh well! I brushed my hair! I'm wearing a color other than black or gray! It's more like the, I dunno, subtler stuff they are shitty about. That's actually why I don't think it's such a bad thing to write about them on the internet.
MEGAN: Maybe I just date really oblivious dudes. But, also, my emotions aren't really subtle. And I try not to blog about actual dudes I'm currently dating. Dudes I used to date — particularly if they've pissed me off and aren't speaking to me anyway — somehow feel like fair game. Oh, also, before we end this, we should probably mention the fact that Radovan Karadžić was arrested yesterday.
MOE: oh right he totally was!
MEGAN: Amusingly, to tie it back into drinking, reportedly while drinking a beer on the street! Man, who knew Belgrade was so much like Boston?
MOE: This is a really educational blog post that puts things nicely in perspective! So this guy's poetry: crappy or what? Hmm.

In his defense, his supporters say that he is no more guilty than any other war-time political leader. His ability to evade capture for over a decade made him a local hero among the Bosnian Serbs.

So maybe now that he has been arrested while drinking a beer he will look less badass?
MEGAN: Hrm, well, being a bit of a translator myself, I sort of wonder if the reason these sound so incredibly shitty is translation error, but thematically I think they're also overblown and so I'm going to call crappy.
Also, I think Richard Byrne is suggesting that Ratko Mladić, the guy behind Srebrenica, might off himself rather than turn himself or be captured. And, to your point, that's totally what Byrne says, that not only will Karadžić look like a f'idiot, but that the former government that "couldn't find him" might look stupid to the people on whose support they counted. God, if only making an Administration look like a bunch of bumbling incompetent idiots would work here. God, we could dream, right?

• OMG a reporter from In Touch was sitting nearby when Angelina Jolie went to the bar in the Waldorf-Astoria hotel. Angelina had a glass of red wine with "a tall, muscular male friend" and talked about money. "You know how [Brad] is financially, which is stupid," she said. "Someone has to make the big decisions, though. He'll put money into things — but it's bizarre! It doesn't always make sense to me. The reality is, we're not a company together. Things should be separate. I think you know I make my own financial decisions. Brad knows there are times he should just be quiet and look pretty." Holy crap, we love her. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
  
• Wait a second, Kimora Lee Simmons is dating Djimon Housou? How did we not know this? Sob. [Gatecrasher, 3rd from bottom]
  
• Blind item! "Which Ivy-educated humanitarian actress has a secret for staying serene during her good work? She tours the developing world in a haze of marijuana smoke." [Gatecrasher, last item]

• Heath Ledger was seen drinking champagne and partying with three Aussie mates, which is like saying "Michelle who?" [Page Six]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs' Unforgivable fragrance ads: too hot for MTV. [Page Six]
• Naomi Campbell and British race car driver Lewis Hamilton: "flirting outrageously." [Page Six]
• The Hills Audrina Patridge tells OK! magazine that her boyfriend JustinBobby "has a hard time being himself" on the show. "MTV tells him, 'Go kiss her,'" says Partridge. "He's like, 'You can't tell me what to do because it'll be awkward.'" No one still thinks this show is real, right? [Page Six]
• Pete Wentz defended girlfriend Ashlee Simpson when she got pushed around at a nightclub in Vegas: he "rained punches on the much-taller door sentries." Uh, LOL. [Rush & Molloy]
• Owen Wilson may be "resisting" rehab but does have a $750-a-day "sober companion," which sounds um, fun. [Rush & Molloy, 7th item]
• Please say it ain't so: Adrian Grenier seen making out with Paris Hilton, people. [Rush & Molloy, 8th item]
• Marc Jacob's boyfriend Jason Preston wore a dead mouse as a brooch at MJ's runway show. It was a gift from Courtney Love, of course. [Fashion Dish]
• "They're young. I was young when I went through my stuff. Leave them alone," says recovering meth addict Fergie of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. [People]
• Reese Witherspoon on the pain of her divorce: "Right around Christmastime I was sitting in a parking lot and I felt like I just couldn't get out of the car. It was like, I can't get out of the car." [People]
• Jon Stewart will be invited to host The Oscars again. [NY Times]