• A French bankruptcy court has backed a plan that will cut 90% of Christian Lacroix's staff, and reduce the 22-year-old house to a licensing operation. [ToL]
• None other than Simon Doonan is decorating the White House for Christmas. [NYTimes]

• Speaking of the Obamas: Naeem Khan made not one but five dresses for Michelle Obama to consider for the state dinner last week. "It took 10 people three weeks to make the embroidery," says the Indian-born designer. The dresses were made in America, but the beading came from India. [W]
• The point of this story seems to be: Rihanna has changed her style remarkably since she started entertaining us with song. [CNN]
• Tiger Woods may still be wanted for questioning by the Florida Highway Patrol, but Nike is emphatically standing by their $40-million star. [WWD]
• Kate Hudson loved the costumes in her movie Nine, set in 1960s Italy like its progenitor, 8 1/2, because the period fabulousness reminded her of watching her mother get dressed as a little girl. [UPI]
• Catherine McNeil's Australian Vogue comeback cover is out. [Models.com]
• Hey, everyone! This week is the week that all the major department stores expect to magically start reducing their prices as one! To a modest 30-40% off. (Just don't call it collusion!) Net-A-Porter went 30-50% off yesterday, so that $4,000 dress might now be $2,500, with tax, and Saks is starting its up to 40% off sale Thursday; hold on till after Christmas for steeper cuts. Stores laid in around 20% less stock than last year, in hopes of avoiding last fall's rash of below-cost markdowns. It appears they've been successful. [WWD]
• "Whoever your mom is, people won't give you hundreds of thousands of dollars," says Vladimir Restoin Roitfeld, who was given $50,000 to mount his first art exhibition last February, and whose latest show, of Nicolas Pol's work, drew Jean-Paul Gaultier, Andre Balazs, Daphne Guinness, and, oh yeah, his mother Carine Roitfeld, to its opening. Young Vlad's secret? "We work extremely hard." [Bloomberg]
• For I-D's 30th anniversary spring issue, Nick Knight will photograph 100 portraits of different fashion stars featured in its pages over the years — live, in front of an audience. His studio will be open to the public as an exhibition until December 20, and people will be able to watch shoots with, say, Kate Moss or Naomi Campbell, through a two-way mirror. Or live on the Internet, at Knight's showstudio.com. There's nothing that strikes us as less tedious than watching a month-long editorial fashion shoot, but someone might be into it. [WWD]
• The Telegraph gets to the bottom of the mysteriously straight and non-neurotic fashion designer Giles Deacon. How come he's so successful, anyway? "Don't know. My parents weren't into fashion. I didn't have an eccentric granny who mixed lace mantillas with tweed. I never believe people who say that, anyway. 'Oh, my granny had great style.' I just like doing it and I enjoy working hard. I go to work at 10am and I'm still there at 8.30pm. We get the wine out then, but anyone who is successful and tells you they don't work hard is lying." [Telegraph]
• Olivier Theyskens has a book on the way! Olivier Theyskens: The Other Side Of The Picture is due out from Assouline in February. He also might be involved in a new "retail concept," but neither he nor the company involved would comment. [WWD]
• It's official: Bravo will begin airing the Kelly Cutrone reality television series we've all been waiting for, Kell On Earth, next February. As long as Ms. Cutrone keeps dropping f-bombs on live morning television, an audience for this shit is practically guaranteed. [UPI]
• Peaches Geldof, Photoshopped within an inch of her life, is in a second campaign for the UK underwear brand Ultimo. The dividends of just happening upon that News Of The World photographer starkers continue to accrue. [Telegraph]
• North Korean jeans made by a trio of Swedes who describe making contact with the communist regime as "like Facebook poking a country"? Is this a joke? [FWD]
• Inez and Vinoodh shot the spring Lanvin men's wear ads this weekend in Paris, and rumor is they totally pulled a Juergen and put themselves in the shot. [WWD]

• The stylist who allegedly walked out on Mark Fast's show says it wasn't because the models were too "fat" - but because they were too fat to walk right! "The walk is very important,'' she explains. [Mirror]

• The stylist in question is reportedly Erika Kurihara, fashion editor at hipper-than-thou London style mag i-D. [Frockwriter]
• "Another studio insider, Amanda May, has since tweeted that the names of the three models in question are Hayley, Laura and Gwyneth and that the company is 'so happy we stuck to our guns about the casting.'" [Frockwriter]
• Says Fast's creative director, "The decision to use fuller girls is something we have been talking about. There's an idea that only thin and slender women are able to wear Mark's dresses and he wanted to combat that. We wanted women to know they didn't have to be a size zero to wear a Mark Fast dress - curvier women can look even better in them." [Daily Mail]
• Burberry's multi-pronged approach for getting down with the kids: broadcasting their fashion week show online; Facebook; Twitter; and social media site, "Art of the Trench," which "will encourage customers and fans of the brand to upload pictures of themselves sporting a classic Burberry trenchcoat." [Racked]
• Wait, what? Apparently Clint Eastwood owns a clothing line, Tehama, and it's been bought by Nacabi Inc. [WWD]
• Kelly Cutrone: "I'm, like, the patron saint of interns. I made interning famous." Well, maybe Venerable. [New York]
• The ever-modest Tim Gunn on being named a "Top 5 Silver Fox": "Well, that's very flattering but I think someone is a little cuckoo." [MediaBistro]
• And who's the Loaded Gunn's favorite superhero? Batman, of course - "the most debonair of superheroes." [USAToday]
• A Philip Lim VIP show: An intern covered in vom and a careening model. Like a PhiDelt party, plus pleating. [Racked]
• Yoko Ono's fashion show for threeASFOUR is exactly as you'd imagine a runway show by Yoko Ono. Check it. [FashionWeekDaily]
• And Rick Owens' furniture line is exactly as you'd imagine a furniture line by the punky designer. "He calls the antlers on his angular plywood chairs "brutalist crowns," and said he loves the way their elegance contrasts with the chairs' crude wooden shapes. Plywood is one of his all-time favorite materials, and a staple, "the washed black leather," he said, of his furniture collections." [WWD]
• Perhaps inevitably, Yasmin LeBon has designed a fashion line, for Sir Philip Green's Wallis chain. It's allegedly very glam, and very good. No word on whether the iconic "Rio" video was an influence. [WWD]
• Louis Vuitton hits a snag in its epic fight to protect its TM: they've lost a fight to get Google and other search engines to stop using their name. [Telegraph]
• DeBeers - which has been linked to blood diamond mining - is talking about the role of diamond mining and climate control. Says the director: "We are making sure that we do not waste any water and that we have stepped up our programs." [WWD]
• Donatella Versace regards the recession as an "opportunity." Says the tanned titan vaguely, "The crisis is a big opportunity — it offers more stimulus for creativity ... more ideas come about." [Reuters]
• In case you were wondering what Lady Gaga considers the best costume for the Vogue offices? Here's Grace Coddington: "She was wearing Philip Treacy's hat with Vogue written on it when she came to see Anna, and when she came to see me the next day she had sprayed her hair red." [Fashionista]
• In their continuing desperation to change their staid image, the Gap is collaborating with awesome illustrator Garance Dore on a line of tees. [ElleUK]
• Twiggy is the subject of a retrospective exhibit at the National Portrait Gallery. Quoth the too-nice-for-ANTM super, "It's hysterical, and incredibly flattering. I think when you're living a life you don't mark down "this is this, and in 40 years' time I'm going to be that", you just live your life." [Telegraph]
• If there's one name you take away from London's Fashion Week, people, make it Christopher Kane. He is hottt. [NYTimes]
• And his TopShop line is, not shockingly, flying off the shelves - particularly the "crocodile dress." [Racked]
• Victoria Beckham and the other WAGs (for Yanks, that's "wives and girlfriends" of football stars; think, for fashion week purposes, Kim and Nene) have hit fashion week in full force, [ElleUK]

• Charlize Theron has nabbed the September cover of a slimmed-down Vogue. The issue counts only 584 pages, compared with the 840 pages of Sienna Miller's 2007 issue. Theron last made the cover in October 2007. [TFS]

• Kate Moss is the fall face of Just Cavalli. Splitting the difference between the competing trends of top- and bottomlessness, she poses for one ad in a tuxedo jacket and nothing else, and for another in some kind of leopard-print leotard. In a third, she wears a micromini sequined dress that seems to be held up with magic. [FWD]
• Legendary photographer Corinne Day — whose pictures of Kate Moss for The Face helped put the supermodel on the map — is facing a serious illness, and requires expensive medical treatment. Friends are trying to raise money by selling 500 prints of a 2001 photo of Moss nude on a bed; the pictures are £100 each. [LOVE, link NSFW]
• The first images of Jil Sander's hotly anticipated +J line for Uniqlo have just surfaced, and it looks fantastic. Japanese magazine Non-No shot seven looks from the men's collection, and it's entirely apparent that the German designer has not lost her talent for tailoring and her ability to pare down a look to its most basic, striking elements during her years in the fashion wilderness after being fired from her namesake label by owners Prada. +J, which hits Uniqlo stores this November, includes around 140 pieces of men's and women's wear, and prices start at $25. [Hypebeast]
• Macy's has announced that Ne-Yo will be the new face of Alfani's Red men's wear. [WWD]
• Uma Thurman has the campaign for Givenchy's new Angel or Demon perfume. [The Sun]
  
• Under Isaac Mizrahi's direction, Liz Claiborne continues to seek a higher-fashion image without shedding its affordability. To wit: this fall, Coco Rocha and her old flaming red hair star in a very kaleidoplaid campaign. Also, count this as another example of the models-in-the-supermarket fashion imagery trope. [Design Scene]
• Patrick Robinson and his design team at the Gap have been concentrating on the basics — and particularly on revamping the company's various styles of jeans. To advertise the offerings, the company has chosen a bevvy of top models, including Carmen Kass, Anja Rubik, and Arlenis Sosa, each identified with a particular style of denim — "The Boyfriend," "Curvy," "Long & Lean," etc. We wonder who it was, though, who chose to put the lesbian model Freja Beha Erichsen next to giant type that reads "Real Straight." [Models.com]
• Loeffler Randall is adding e-commerce to its website. [WWD]
• Jewelry designer Anna Sheffield's collection for Target hits stores at the end of this month. The pieces range from $19.99-$79.99; some are made of sterling silver. They all look very cool. [Lucky]
• You know the economy's terrible when Jessica Seinfeld serves pigs-in-blankets to Gwyneth at a charity gala. [WWD]
• In Paris, several recent fashion school graduates are starting their own lines — with a difference: instead of focusing on the tradition ready-to-wear, these young designers each want to do small collections made-to-measure for each client. And the prices are right: 50-80 Euros for a shirt, 70 Euros for a dress, 150 Euros for a jacket. In putting an affordable price on services that are something more than tailoring and something less than couture, with all its connotations of excess, these youngsters have almost certainly found a gap in the market. [DazedDigital]
• Meanwhile, shoe designer Jeffrey Campbell knocked off a Chloé boot. His offerings this season are basically just Ann Demeulemeester's and Balmain's shoes done for cheap(er). How is it this guy hasn't gotten sued yet? (Of course, Chloé probably took inspiration for their shoes from some vintage boots.) [The Greyest Ghost]
• And there are also instances of high-end brands ripping off less-expensive ones. Cf. Proenza Schouler's version of the Frye boot. [On The Fringe Of Fashion]
• After the record-breaking sale of all the art he collected with Yves Saint Laurent, partner Pierre Bergé plans to go ahead with an auction of furniture, sculptures, and textiles in November. The works are expected to fetch around $5.7 million; the proceeds will go to AIDS research. [WWD]
• Miss J's new memoir, Follow The Model: Miss J's Guide To Unleashing Presence, Poise And Power contains a troubling blind item about not being let in to a fashion show on the explicit instructions of the head of the PR company running the designer's front-of-house operations. The PR company seems to be Kelly Cutrone's People's Revolution, and the designer — specified as Brazilian — seems to be either Carlos Miele or Alexandre Herchcovitch. Was Miss J denied entry because he is black, or because he now bears the taint of Night-Time Tyra? The latter seems unlikely, since Miss J points out that the same designer later begged America's Next Top Model to use his line for the finale runway show when ANTM went to Brazil in Season 12. (That particular laurel went to Rosa Chá.) [Fashionista]
• The New York Fashion Week menswear schedule is out, and it contains some surprises. This season, Yigal Azrouël is killing his separate men's wear presentation, and combining his two shows into one. Philip Lim is doing the exact opposite, adding a separate men's wear presentation. [WWD]
• Feast your eyes on ShopBop's "WARTIME" array of products, and ponder the aestheticization of orchestrated human killing. [ShopBop]

• Madonna's fall campaign for Louis Vuitton leaked online, and the star — captured by Steven Meisel and 23 psychedelic Photoshop layers — sort of looks like a marble statue. [Fashionologie]

• Roberto Cavalli's and Gianfranco Ferré's Fall 2009 campaigns are also out. In the sense of "On the Internet," not in the sense of "In the magazines." [FWD]
• 50 Cent's new fragrance deal, for the scent "Power", is unusual in that the star is not simply licensing his name to a company. He actually is a part-owner of Lighthouse Beauty, the business that will release Power. The other partners are a veritable who's-who of the fragrance industry. [WWD]
• Clements Ribeiro is the latest British fashion house to announce its intention to return to London Fashion Week for its 25th anniversary. The husband-and-wife design duo join Burberry, Pringle of Scotland, Jonathan Saunders, and Matthew Williamson, in showing their respective Spring 2010 collections in London. Clements Ribeiro last showed in London in September 2005. [Telegraph]
• Expectant Victoria's Secret superstar Adriana Lima's wedding to Marko Jaric was witnessed only by the couple's lawyers. "It was really romantic," said the model. Lima said she doesn't know the sex of her baby, due in December, and hopes to have a large family. [People]
• eLuxury.com is closing its doors as a retailer today. (Last-minute sale items are an additional 50% off, so if you want Alexander Wang jeans for $375 $75, or a D&G corset dress for $495 $148.50, now's your moment.) Apparently, eLuxury is planning to relaunch itself as a social networking site dedicated to...luxury. Because in this economy, talking about fancy shit online is still free. [WWD]
• Supermodel Angela Lindvall has designed a t-shirt for Edun, Ali Hewson's organic, sustainably-produced fashion line (which is newly owned by luxury mega-company LVMH). The shirt is blue with a white design that Lindvall says "was created from the shadows of trees. Our shadow side is what sometimes pushes us to grow." [Fashionista]
• Style.com traced the influence of Kate Moss's gold lamé Marc Jacobs dress and Stephen Jones turban from the Met Ball through the Resort collections. As if we were ever in any doubt that Ms. Moss's style cuts a long swath. [Style.com]
• Patrick Dempsey's new scent for Avon (?!) is to be appropriately named: Patrick Dempsey 2. [WWD]
• The first rule of working for fashion publicist Kelly Cutrone is: Do not blog about Kelly Cutrone. When the fashion publicist caught one of her summer interns — an NYU student, natch — writing about her online, she took the girl aside and said: "I'm going to sue the fuck out of your family if you don't take it down immediately and your college tuition is going to seem like a pittance after you face my wrath." [The Cut]
• Reebok is launching a maternity division for its NFL line. [WWD]
• Michelle Obama wore Lanvin yesterday, should you care. [The Cut]
• Brooke Burke, her fiancé, and her four kids, ages 1, 2, 7, and 9, are going to do a Skechers ad as one big happy family. No word on how much the clan nets. [WWD]
• Zac Posen did his part for Gen Art at the fashion incubator's fund-raiser Wednesday night. Also? Zac Posen is totally that guy at the art opening who'll say, "I like the Sol LeWitt technique put into something figurative..." [Style.com]
• Escada, the struggling fashion house who earlier this year announced its debt had risen to €187.6 million, and its cash on hand had dwindled to just €24.7 million, is about to launch the €200 million bond-exchange program the company hopes will raise it enough cash to emerge from this recession intact. Bondholders, starting Monday, will be encouraged to exchange their old bonds for new ones, at an early-bird rate of €400 in new bonds per €1,000 in old bonds previously held. (After July 14, the bond exchange will net bondholders €375 per €1,000 in debt.) The exchange will only go forward if 80% of bondholders agree to it, but the company says all the preconditions are set. Its two major shareholders, the billionaire brothers Wolfgang and Michael Herz, who together own 24.9% of Escada, are on board. [WWD]
• Hartmarx has won court approval to be sold to the private equity firm Emerisque Brands. Emerisque bid $128.4 million for the bankrupt men's clothier, and pledged to retain many of the company's 4,000, mostly Chicago-based, workers. Biggest creditor Wells Fargo bank had argued that Hartmarx should be liquidated to cover its $261 million debt. [NYTimes]
• Customs and Border Patrol seized 10,900 pairs of counterfeit Nike shoes off the docks in Los Angeles. The imitation shoes had a face value of $1.8 million. [WWD]

• Yasmin and Amber Le Bon: They share a nose, and a familiar mother/daughter wardrobe dynamic. Only Yasmin, being a supermodel, can parry Amber's incursions by going nuclear with, "Maybe I'll donate to the V&A..." [Telegraph]

• This interview with André Leon Talley and Matt Tyrnauer, the director of Valentino: The Last Emperor, is absolutely wonderful. Tyrnauer explained again just how upset Valentino and Giancarlo Giammetti were when they first saw a rough cut of the documentary, an anger that only softened at the Venice Film Festival: "the audience gave a very long standing ovation, which Valentino received like Mussolini. There's something about Italians and balconies." The director also says that the reason Valentino has a butler dial Giammetti's number in the movie is because the designer doesn't know how to call long distance. "He lives a life that hasn't existed for 50 years. Valentino never changed." Talley interjected, "Karl Lagerfeld knows how to dial." [The Cut]
• American Apparel is letting you, the person who will have to look at it, pick the next ad to adorn its Harlem store. Exercise your consumer rights and vote for ass or titties, now! [Racked]
• Bravo's idea of a replacement for Project Runway? Something involving third-rate celebrities being mentored by industry figures as they compete to start their own fashion lines. Whatever happened to that supposed show with Fern Mallis and Isaac Mizrahi? Don't these people realize that the thing that made Project Runway fun was that its subjects' famewhore quotient was generally matched by their actual design abilities? And watching someone absorbed in a task they enjoy and have mastered is fun? Celebrities. Starting clothing lines. This is so much worse than when Jeffrey won. [Reuters]
• At least you can still catch Isaac Mizrahi on the radio: his new show for Martha Stewart's radio network debuts this Thursday evening. You can call in, and ask him questions about fashion, and he'll tell you to forget about it and just spend more money on your hair. [Fashionista]
• Meanwhile, Liz Claiborne has decided to limit distribution of its Isaac Mizrahi-designed line...to one store per mall. That slight measure of exclusivity might be enough to make the brand more desirable to consumers, and less vulnerable to markdowns. [WWD]
• Whitney Port will no longer pretend to work at Diane von Furstenberg for the purposes of her reality show. Instead, she will pretend to work at People's Revolution, with Kelly Cutrone. [The Cut]
• Talbot's sales dropped 23% in the fourth quarter, and the company lost a total of $366.5 million. [WSJ]
• Standard & Poor's downgraded Barneys' debt obligations yesterday. It's no surprise that a department store wouldn't be doing so great just now. [WWD]
• Word is, the July cover of American Vogue will feature Sienna Miller. Anna Wintour recently went to the premiere of Miller's new flick, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, and rumors have been swirling since. That would be Miller's second cover in as many years, which means that Keira Knightley and Gwyneth must both be busy that weekend. [Racked]
• If you feel moved to vote on the best-looking model on the current Vogue cover, you can now do so. (Unfortunately, there's no option for "They all look like plasticine dolls! Who retouched this?") [FabSugar]
• Re-designed versions of the plain white T by such talents as Philip Lim, Richard Chai, and Henry Holland are coming to Topman this May. Because nobody has ever "re-designed" T-shirts before! [FTape]

The first clip is a montage of cast members opining on clothes, the best, obviously coming from Stephanie Pratt, who is currently studying fashion at FIDM, but is no more informed at judgment calls than her brother.


I love that she showed up at a club looking like when Valerie Cherish was trying to impress her stepdaughter with "hip" clothes on The Comeback.

Maybe when Spencer and Heidi adopt Dunk from Africa, they can call her Aunt Sassy.

In this clip, Steph completely bombs in her interview with People's Revolution boss Kelly Cutrone.

• Suck on this: Madonna will be involved in New Moon, the Twilight sequel. Her Madgesty will not only be in the film, but supply music for the soundtrack. Brain exploding, brb. [ONTD via E!]

• Hayden Panettiere, 19, and Milo Ventimiglia, 31, are over. Done. Apparently "Hayden tried to break up with Milo many times since Christmas, but he wouldn't accept it." She wants to be free; he wants to settle down. [Star]
• Lily Allen and Perez Hilton are in a "Twitter catfight." He wrote: "If I wanted to be a fucked-up Brit, I'd rather be Amy Winehouse – whose[sic] got talent." She fired back: "God, you're like so obsessed with me its embarrassing." He sniped about her album being discounted; she called him a little parasite. Isn't the internet fun? [Telegraph]
• A charity set up by Prince Harry is accused of promising £30,000 to the children of poverty-stricken Lesotho, only to have the money fail to materialize. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry also flew a training aircraft yesterday, despite failing his exams last week. [Daily Mail]
• David Beckham "finally got" wife Victoria to agree to move to Milan. Ciao, off you go! [The Sun]
• Chris Brown has hired Paris Hilton's spin doctor, Mike Sitrick. But Fox News's Roger Friedman says Sitrick is "universally disliked by the press" and that Chris is "clueless." [Fox 411]
• Julia Roberts looks beachy keen on the March cover of Allure and says she'd like to have dinner with the Obamas. "The girls can play with my kids." She also says: "I think it should be against the law to take a picture of a celebrity's child." [MSNBC Scoop]
• More from Julia in Allure, talking about her kids: "I will never be bored again… [I have] little time theives running around [the] house." And her life: "I'm the luckiest girl in town, I really am." Yawn! [People]
• Halle Berry will star in a flick called Who Is Doris Payne, about an international jewel thief whose career spanned five decades. Rejoice: Neither a hooker, a victim nor a doormat! [Variety]
• Drew Barrymore has a crush on Christian Bale. Back of the line, dear. [Mirror]
• Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto wants a meaty, "ugly" role: "I don't want to be known as just a pretty face. I loved Charlize Theron in Monster. I want to play parts that are challenging and inspiring." Good luck! [Mirror]
• Peaches Geldof made the paper for wearing fishnet thigh-highs with garters. Slow news day? [The Sun]
• Wowza, check out Emily Blunt in this tribute to Blue Velvet. Lynchy! [BlackBook]
• Anne Hathaway, Anne Archer, Charlize Theron, Kerry Washington, Camryn Manheim, Jessica Alba, Maria Bello, Rosario Dawson and others were on hand for V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women, hosted by feminist playwright Eve Ensler and Glamour. [WWD]
• Grace Jones arrived so late for the African Fashion Collection bash the other night, the party was already over. [Page Six]
• Becki Newton, Ugly Betty's Amanda, swears the show is not cancelled: "We don't know what's going to be happening with the time slot, but we're well into season three, and we just got picked up for season four. There was panic for no reason." [Gatecrasher]
• Jackie Chan is starring in a new flick so violent that it's not being released in mainland China. Of course, that makes us want to see it. Okay, just saw a trailer and it looks epic. [AP]
• There's ultra-violence in Quentin Tarantino's new film, Inglourious Basterds; Nazis get scalped, hit by bats and machine-gunned down. [Page Six]
• PR queen Kelly Cutrone (seen on The Hills and The City) is friends with Eliot Spitzer's ex-hooker, Ashley Dupre. Cutrone says: "I met Ashley through friends in the music industry, I liked her and decided I would be nice to her. I will continue to be nice to her." [Page Six]
• Steven Van Zandt of The Sopranos and the E street band has a radio show, Little Steven's Underground Garage. [Guardian]
• Amy Fisher is a stripper now. "I am going to take this road until my fans tell me, 'Dear, please put your clothes back on. You're too old.'" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which crazy comic tells everyone about his, ummm, taste for booty whenever he's trashed? Talk about TMI!" [Gatecrasher]
• "A lot of people are scared of him, not just because of his position, but because of his temper. I don't think he ever had the time for 'la dolce vita.' I showed him how." —Carla Bruni on husband Nicolas Sarkozy. [Daily Mail]
• "Do I look like I care? I really don't think about [Joop or what he said]. What am I supposed to say? It's his opinion. What do you think?" — Heidi Klum, on being called "too heavy" to be a runway model. [Gatecrasher]
• "The character is learning lessons about consumption and debt like the rest of us right now. It feels fairly topical. Obviously the movie was conceived during a different economic period but she learns her lesson. It is a redemption story." — Isla Fisher, defending the timing of her Shopaholic picture. [Mirror]
• "She was the greatest show on earth last year. She was going through her issues in public... It was great to watch her spin out of control because it makes the average person feel better." — 50 Cent on Britney Spears, who helped inspire his album Before I Self Destruct. [MSNBC, Mirror]
• "I'm a sentimental person who's trying very hard to be a tough cynical person. This show has been more than a job for me; I met my wife on a remote, and we have two kids. I got my dog through this show. This has been a huge central part of my life. I'm quite good at denial, so I've been keeping it at bay. There's not time to dwell. (But) when we're doing the last show, it'll hit me. I'll probably cry like a baby." — Conan O'Brien on leaving Late Night for Tonight. [USA Today]
• "That was the least of our problems. I was always really proud of her success. I'm not a competitive person, and I have no aspirations to be a giant in this industry. I like making movies, but I never had designs on making $25 million a picture." — Ryan Phillippe, denying that he was ever jealous of wife Reese Witherspoon's success. [Contact Music]
• "I can't say that I'm still pole dancing. It's hard! I understand the hazards of the exotic dancer in a way I never imagined." — Marisa Tomei, on the skills she learned for The Wrestler. [Mirror]
• "I had to run and scream while wearing it! But it helps your posture, and certainly makes your boobs look fantastic. My internal organs now loathe me, however, so it might be good to do something in jeans and T-shirts. After all, I don't want to be typecast as the 'English rose' -that's boring, isn't it?" — Emily Blunt on wearing a corset in Wolf Man. [BlackBook]
• "Chris Brown's lies and excuses make me want to beat the crap out of him... He uses the language of the perpetrator just like every sleazy bastard who ever smacked his wife, kid, mother or girlfriend around uses. You dirty bastard, I hope you go to prison for ten years. IT'S YOUR FAULT, ASSHOLE! As for all the mealy mouthed Hollywood and music scene chicks that can't bring themselves to condemn a misogynistic bully, let me say this: Your time as whores for propaganda is ending, bitches." — Roseanne Barr. [ONTD]
• "I've been at war, without a doubt. I've really experienced the judgment of women in the past year. We say we want to be equal, but men don't sit around bitching at each other. There's no sisterhood." — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]

• Agyness Deyn might try hypnotism to quit smoking. She "obviously" wants to stop so she can "settle down and have babies," says a friend of her boyfriend's. Obviously that's any woman's only consideration. [Daily Mail]

• Zac Posen will see your economic negativity and raise you an ounce of creativity. "I started my business in another trying time, right after 9/11. Everyone was saying ‘don't go into business, there's no place, there's no retail world out there.' Nobody wanted to hear about a new brand. But you create your own excitement, and you create the industry, and you create the customer, and that's what is going to get this country out of this difficult time." Yes we can wear beautiful dresses! [The Cut]
• Meanwhile a rag-tag group of former i-bankers has a crazy dream to make ugly shoes from recycled trash. Which is a kind of creativity that, environment aside, I'm not sure we need. [The Street]
• Lynn Yaeger goes to fashion week on the subway. Just. Like. I. Do. [The Cut]
• "Vivica Fox came out in this full sequined gown and she had the longest hair weave of her life. It was a shock, it was inspiring to women." If you've ever wanted to enter the mind of Christian Siriano, one good way of doing so would be to read an entire column by him. Fashion week is literally amazing, guys! [Time]
• Coco Rocha, in between attending fashion shows and walking in them, is also hosting an hour-long documentary about the lives of models during the week of weeks for E! Busy girl. [Elle]
• Kelly Cutrone had a hand in getting Ashley Alexandra Dupré to Yigal Azrouël on Friday. Yigal fired her. [NYDN]
• But Cutrone still wins for sheer audacity of media tricksterhood: she introduced Dupré to an editor at an avant-garde fashion magazine who wants to shoot the ex-callgirl, like, yesterday already. So this is how you get into Dazed and Confused. [The Cut]
• Are runways this season more diverse than last? It's looking like yes. The New York Times talks to some models from Harlem and the Bronx who are glad to see the "No ethnic models" signs retired. (The story also reminded me of how I know three models who all went to the same high school somewhere in deepest Queens. Once I told one of them I was thinking of moving to Queens and she gave me this withering look and said, "By 'Queens', you probably mean, like, Astoria, or Long Island City, don't you?" I did. But at least I know where Queens is, unlike a nameless designer in Eric Wilson's piece.) [NY Times]
• Model Sessilee Lopez eats egg McMuffins and asks to take home clothes from fashion shows. [NYDN]
• Peter Som has a fall collection, even if he didn't have a show. [Fashionista]
• An angel investor in Patrick Cox's struggling handmade shoe house was caught trying to license the Patrick Cox name and trademark for profit. [Telegraph]
• Somewhere, someone built an algorithm to analyze all the acres of type churned out in fashion week coverage, and that someone is here to tell us that this season's buzz words are "chiconomics" and "Michelle Obama." And "recessionista." [UPI]
• Anna Wintour is still talking about that sequined mini-dress The Recession made her not put in Vogue. Only now, in her mind it only cost $25,000, not $50,000. Times are hard. Anybody got any idea whose dress this might be? [WSJ]
• The May cover of Wintour's magazine might actually feature some models on it, in honor of the costume institute gala at the Met, which is model-themed this year. Online speculation points to Raquel Zimmerman, Natasha Poly, Liya Kebede, Isabeli Fontana, and Natalia Vodianova as among the final choices. [Fashionologie]
• British retailers are going to change their sizing for children's clothes because of the obesity epidemic. [Telegraph]
• Which will play right into noted obesity educator Karl "No Fat Chicks" Lagerfeld's talking points. The Kaiser also has reservations about online shopping, although this one time his assistant showed him how to order books and music on Amazon.com and it wasn't so bad, he supposes. [Portfolio]
• Nastia Liukin's line of denim isn't faring well. But her leotards, sold to other gymnasts, should keep her from the poor house. [The Cut]
• Wal-Mart isn't concerned about the souring fortunes of celeb-backed labels; it's launching a new Russell Simmons line. [WWD]
• Zooey Deschanel is also getting in on the action, with a limited-edition pair of $415 Oliver Peoples sunglasses she personally designed. My snark for this project is lessened in direct proportion to the share of the profits that will go towards victims of domestic violence. [LA Times]
• Posh's dress line has slightly lowered its prices from last season. But she's not sure if it's inspired by Mad Max or Mad Men. Either way there's a gray one with a butt ruffle. [Daily Mail]
• H&M's same-store sales beat analysts' expectations by only declining 1% on last January. This is good news. [WSJ]
• Whoa. A man in Osaka threatened 11 Uniqlo employees with a knife, tied them up with packing tape, and stole 2.5 million Yen. He was arrested as he tried to escape. [Breitbart]

• German fashionisto: "She's is no runway model. Heidi Klum is simply too heavy and has too big a bust. And she always grins so stupidly. That is not avant-garde - that is commercial." Me-ow! [VogueUK]

• Kaiser Karl piles on: "I don't know Heidi Klum. She was never known in France. Claudia Schiffer also doesn't know who she is." This dismissal comes as Heidi helms the third season German Top Model. We're guessing Mrs. Seal is crying all the way to the bank. Maybe in a diamond-encrusted bra.[VogueUK]
• Stylist Patricia Field's advice to real-life Shopaholics? "Find a rich husband." Thanks, will do. Someone's been spending a little too much time with the Carrie Bradshaw crew...[Fabsugar]
• Photos of Rachel Roy's fall collection are up. The models in the presentation all wore black bobbed wigs and black lipstick — echoing Yves St. Laurent in Paris last September. The clothes were all white, with touches of gray, pale yellow and blue, and black. [WWD]
• Bluefly.com is upping its presence within the fictional worlds of fashion-related television and movies. Since the company noticed site traffic spiked during the episodes of Project Runway it sponsored, it set about buying ads within other media, too — most notably Gossip Girl (did you think it was an accident when Serena kissed Dan in Times Square and there was a Bluefly billboard behind them?) and Isla Fisher's Confessions Of A Shopaholic. [WSJ]
• If you heard a rumor that Thom Yorke was going to be playing the music for the Rag & Bone show today at 5 p.m., I am here to tell you it ain't so. But Yorke did act as a musical designer for the show — although that still doesn't mean he'll be present. [Men.Style.com]
• 25 garment workers who were required to work over 80 hours a week and only intermittently paid the princely sum of $3 an hour won their lawsuit against their former employers, New York's Liberty Apparel. Liberty had used subcontractors to attempt to shift blame. As competition for jobs in the garment sector worsens — in 2008, the jobs available shrank by 7% in New York City, and U.S. Bureau of Labor figures for January of 2009 showed 9,600 garment workers were laid off nationwide that month alone — working conditions are believed to worsen. [Crain's]
• British supe Lily Cole plays a model called Lettuce Leaf in the upcoming film Rage, a murder mystery set in the New York fashion world, which also stars Dame Judi Dench, Jude Law, Steve Buscemi, and Eddie Izzard. You can watch a clip, mostly in English, of Cole as Lettuce Leaf and hear her talk about modeling, blogs, and beauty while doing promo work at the Berlin Film Festival. "There's a big gulf often between appearance and, you know, the reality, like seeming and being," says Cole. "Fashion illustrates that quite clearly because you only ever see the exterior and you don't really know what's going on behind. But it's true of every human, some to more extent, some to lesser extent, that there's a difference between the truth of that person and their own internal struggles and difficulties and loves and joys, and how they present themselves to the rest of the world." Watch, if only for the moment when she suddenly takes off her wig during Lettuce Leaf's monologue. [Spiegel Online]
• Speaking of voyeurism, here's a bunch of pretty pictures of designers doing last-minute runway show stuff. It's supposed to be hectic, still looks glam. [WWD]
• Ikram Goldman, owner of the Chicago boutique Ikram and de facto stylist for a certain First Lady, is of course at New York fashion week. She refused to talk about anything Obama-related in this interview. [Paper]
• Not so tight-lipped is Benjamin Cho. The designer, who's not showing at fashion week this season, says he wishes Michelle Obama dressed more sophisticatedly. Her inauguration outfits "got a little cheesy." Cho thinks her style is too retro. "It would be nice if she wore like a Jil Sander shift dress. Or something interesting like that — more sophisticated." Can we talk about something else than Michelle Obama's clothes now? [The Cut]
• Kelly Cutrone always has an interesting take on powerful women! On Michelle Obama: "She's the first lady in the White House in 50 years who actually looks like she's getting fucked." Hm. That wasn't the kind of non-sartorial discussion I meant. [The Cut]
• Anna Sui apparently has a book deal with Chronicle. [Fashionista]
• Australian label Morrissey is going out of business. [News.com.au]
• The video that Halston put together instead of a show or presentation is now live at their website. It's undeniably beautiful — I love the part where the model kicks off her stilettos — but how are you supposed to get any idea of the clothes via grainy digital video? [Halston]
• Two pieces of statuary from Yves St. Laurent's art collection, which is to be auctioned at Christie's by his partner, Pierre Bergé, are believed to have been stolen by looting French troops in 1860 from Beijing's imperial Summer Palace. China wants the statues, originally part of a fountain representing the Chinese zodiac, repatriated, but the treaty that covers such claims states only things taken since 1970 have to be returned. A Hong Kong billionaire might bid on the statues and take them back to China. [Time]
• Here's a look at some of the more unusual highlights of St. Laurent and Bergé's eclectic collection. [WSJ]
• Ew. Scott Weiland, who in no way deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as the late, great Yves, is debuting a men's line with L.A. label English Laundry. [WWD]
• Thank dog designers are taking the pulse of the times and scaling back on vulgar runway shows! To show her sensitivity to the zeitgest, Monique Lhuillier premiered her collection of ballgowns, "Modern Ballet Russes," at the Plaza, where guests quaffed champagne. [WSJ]
• Donna Karan, for her part, relieves her social conscience by giving out a truly ugly tee to all comers to Sunday's runway show. The tee has a bunch of worthy charities listed on the back (including Donna Karan's Urban Zen Foundation) and their contact info, should the fashionistas feel that receiving a free shirt is not doing their part. [WWD]
• We've been burned by Target's accessories collabs in the past, but listen up, kids: Erickson Beamon for Target, which hits this Sunday, looks outstanding. Glimpses show a lot of vintage costume jewelry-inspired statement pieces and one old lady chic pendant we'll fight you for. [Fabsugar]
• The new all-things-moddle web site Modelina (remember how they handed out those model "campaign buttons" during the election?) is not only up and running and spilling mannequin gossip, but has launched a pr stunt we can get behind: fashion-themed Necco conversation hearts! A "Kiss Karl" in clove would just about make our weekends, although we're not sure why. [Glam.com]
• Is this the end of an era? Abercrombie's 4th Quarter profits were down a whopping 68%! [AP]
• We'll believe it when we see it, but now they say the first American Top Shop will be opening in April.They've cried...um, "high-concept fast fashion?" one too many times! [WWD]

• There's the usual gloom, sex, scandal and, ahem, 50 Cent's makeup line - today, but first, brace yourselves: Michelle Obama has not RSVP'd to Fashion Week. This woman's priorities are way out of whack! [WWD]

• About Fitty: he's starting a men's grooming line, containing both moisturizers and supplements. Quoth "someone," "his range will be for the guy who likes to be pampered, but the supplements will make it more butch." [Yahoo via New York]
• Katie Holmes' latest batch of Miu Miu photos is "softer" than the last: Read, she's lying around dreamily in firelight. [Popsugar]
• A bunch of children's Harajuku Lovers Hooded Jackets by Gwen Stefani are being recalled in California because their defective ties are a "strangulation risk." [CPSC]
• Kelly Cutrone, who's cut an awesomely bitchy swath across the reality show landscape, may now be getting her own. Fashion PR doyenne Cutrone, who's stirred pots on The City and The Hills, has inked an eight-episode deal with Bravo for a show that follows her, presumably, insulting people at her company People's Revolution. [New York Post]
• Alexander McQueen brings a touch of punk to a Target near you: "The heart of McQ is rebellious youth culture, a certain spirit that embodies the regular line as well as the Target collection. It's an ‘eighties punk aesthetic that evokes the anarchy and social change of the time. Youth culture now really looks back and embraces the past, but keeps it contemporary but not sticking to one particular style." [New York]
• Victoria's Secret is introducing a new, green fragrance line to the bordello, plus a perfume that "smells like lace." [Racked]
• It would seem that the president of Theory was one of Madoff's manifold victims, along wit a score of other fashion insiders. Bernie, meanwhile, is still sitting pretty under house arrest - one hopes not in a Theory suit! [WWD]
• It's not much, but they'll take it: LVMH reported a "slim annual increase" and flat profits for the year. [WSJ]
• In case no one was sure that Lorenzo Martone was Marc Jacobs' boy toy, the Brazilian looker sported, to the premiere of He's Just Not That Into You, a shirt bearing the immortal words: "Do me in the park. Marc." [New York Post]
• Sometimes there's just no point in paraphrasing the perfection of the British press:
  "Alice Hawkins looks like Dolly Parton and likes to hang out with gangsters, showgirls and topless models. She also happens to be one of the fashion world's hottest photographers." [Telegraph]
• Oh noes! Teri Agins, the respected Wall Street Journal fashion writer, is a recession casualty. [Forbes]
• Hey, remember that cute "I die. Bananas" tee? Yeah, cease and desist. Zoe has them trademarked. [New York]
• DVF just threw an odd luncheon, the guest list of which included Diana Ross, James Frey, The City + cameras, and a bunch of designers. Stars: they're nothing like us! [WWD]
• Ugh: The UGG index is up, which is bad news for real shoes, the economy. [MSNBC]
• UGGS, at least, are total depression-wear: dreary, warm, stolid. The continuing popularity of Crocs? Totally baffling! [Telegraph]
• Zara, one of the other indestructibles, expands its sorta-fast fashion to India. [FT]
• We can add nothing to this: Lilly Pulitzer-print Jeep. [Fashion Week Daily]
• What can we say? Digging on Julia Roitfeld's ads for Mango! [Fashionista]

• Etta James says when she was ripping Beyoncé about singing "At Last" for the President, "I didn't really mean anything…"

"Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude." Sure, sure. [The Life Files via NY Daily News, ONTD]

• The Obamas were reportedly "stunned" by Etta James' remarks. [TMZ]
• The Times asks, re: Heath Ledger, "So how do you run an Oscar campaign for someone who is no longer with us?" [NY Times]
• Angelina Jolie will produce a film called Resilient, in which Mariane Pearl will interview five women who have overcome odds to bring change to their communities. That's right, Saint Angie has six kids and a movie to create, get out of her way. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ryan Reynolds looks Photoshopped into waxy zombie territory on the cover of Men's Health. But good for him for running a marathon to raise funds for Parkinson's. [Socialite Life]
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil's divorce could get nasty: Blake Incarcerated is "compiling a dossier" of all the dudes Amy slept with and wants them to testify to prove that Amy was unfaithful during their marriage. What kind of fuckery is this? [The London Paper]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron is being sued by a dude he struck with his car at a gas station a year ago. [TMZ]
• Apparently Kate Hudson's new guy, Aussie golfer Adam Scott, is better for her than Owen Wilson, because Owen would "point out her imperfections all the time" and Kate would always seen pictures of Owen with other women in magazines. Also: Adam is hot. [E!]
• Here's the Sarah Jessica Parker story from Bazaar. SJP talks about being Carrie Bradshaw: "I got to wear such incredible things, and you make such mistakes and there's such hits and great triumphs and there's incredible wrong, wrong, wrong. But it's so much fun." Oh! And she wore an Alexander McQueen dress to an SATC event in New York: "I actually had to cut myself out of that dress that night. My husband was out of town, so I was alone when I got home, and I couldn't unzip it. So…I got out the scissors." [Bazaar]
• Oh, God: Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman just signed on for a romcom called The Baster. They'll play best friends, but when he learns she's gonna get pregnant through artificial insemination, he replaces the donor's semen with his own. This is not a joke. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's Lily Allen dressed as a boy in a spoof of a chocolate commercial. [Daily Mail]
• In this article, Liv Tyler invites the interviewer back to her house and talks about the "sad parts" — empty spaces where her ex-husband has moved out. [Wonderland Magazine]
• Whoops! The BBC aired Christian Bale's infamous tirade without bleeping out the swearing. [The Star]
• Fantasia plans to get her high school degree — she dropped out of the ninth grade about ten years ago. "I've been talking about it for so long," she says. "I have a lot of young people who look up to me, like my 15-year-old brother and 7-year-old daughter. It's something that I really need to do and that I want to do." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Guy Ritchie: Seen singing show tunes in a gay bar. [Page Six]
• We've heard this before but here it is again: Lily Allen couldn't stay with her 45-year-old boyfriend because the sex was bad. [Mirror]
• Long interview with Justin Long, promoting He's Just Not That Into You. Guess what? He's not like his character. "I'm not good at reading signs - I don't like deciphering. I don't like to play the games, like 'When am I supposed to call?' " he says. [USA Today]
• Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell are in luuuuuv. [Daily Mail]
• Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are selling their San Antonio home for about $900,000. Take a slideshow tour and check out the pretty pool and basketball court! [WSJ]
• Dev Patel, who has been nominated for a Best Actor Bafta, says of Slumdog Millionaire: "It has never claimed to be a documentary. It is a movie. It is entertainment. I spent five months out here filming and really got a chance to see the slums close up and I think the film depicts them accurately enough. Mumbai really is a city of extreme contrasts. If you step out of a five-star hotel here you can be facing a slum." [Telegraph]
• Speaking of Dev Patel, he and Freida Pinto were about to be on Tyra's show when a woman in the audience had a seizure. They signed a copy of the Slumdog soundtrack and slipped it to her as she sped off in an ambulance. Music heals, you guys. [Page Six]
• Soap operas are wiping out top stars because the economic downturn means they can't pay the actors. Days Of Our Lives lost four couples! [NY Post]
• Another day, another story about John Cleese's package. [Page Six]
• Kelly Cutrone, whom you may have seen on The City or The Hills, is getting a reality show based on her fashion PR company. Expect dramz! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which young magazine editor dispenses bags of blow to Hollywood starlets so they can be 'extra up' for the photo shoots he arranges?" [Gatecrasher]
• Paris Hilton chatted Fergie up about her wedding and honeymoon, but when Fergalicious walked away, Paris quipped to sister Nicky, "Ha, my engagement ring was bigger!" This paper points out: Yeah, Paris, but which one of you is actually married? [Gatecrasher]
• Russell Simmons has a juicy new squeeze, and she is a grapefruit heiress. [Gatecrasher]
• The new Gossip Girl plotline will be very similar to Anne Hathaway's love life: A hottie swindler will sweep Serena off her feet. [Gatecrasher]
• Jade Jagger is married, according to her Facebook status. Also, she started a music, fashion and art company called, uh, Jezebel. Her middle name. [Daily Mail]
• Will Val Kilmer run for governor of New Mexico in 2010? He says probably! "What I do for a living is listen. If I run, I'm going to be the next governor." [CBS News via AP]
• "I used to have claustrophobia inside the cinema because I didn't like it in the dark. I missed out on films as a kid. Now I'm better watching films on DVD with friends around than on my own. — Judi Dench. And! "The difference between theatre and cinema is that once you've done a film, it's over. With Nine, two days after I'd recorded my singing part, I did the performance I felt I should've done – in my bathroom." [Daily Express]
• "We haven't found any reason to stop yet. It's chaos at times, but there's such joy in the house. We have the capability to give a child a home and, let me tell you, it's selfish too because the reward has been extraordinary. [Twins are] just double the fun. It's surprising how soon their personalities have started emerging. But it's really important that everyone gets their individual time as well as group time together, and that's a big focus of ours. We were four before, and we got into our rhythms and it worked – but everyone's pretty well integrated." — Brad Pitt, on adding kids to his brood. [Mirror]
• "I've tried, but I'm just not into text sex. You only have a few lines to get your point across, and I don't like that. I also don't know who my text-sex partner is showing my messages to. I could be viewed as a text slut through no fault of my own." — Ginnifer Goodwin. [Gatecrasher]
• "Gigi is the closest I've ever come to playing myself. I've never been interested in playing someone so like myself. But I fell in love with her. I humiliate myself on a daily basis. I have been known to Google-stalk. I've certainly caught myself flirting in such a way that I feel nauseous afterward when I think of what I said. And I'm so guilty of the long linger." — Ginnifer Goodwin, on her character in He's Just Not That Into You. [USA Today]
• "You're pretending you're feeling the same emotion as when you wrote the song. I'm not trying to have pretend good sex, I'm trying to have good sex." — Duffy, on her tactic when filming music videos. [The Sun]
• "Angelina and I are together because we can enhance each other. I don't want to waste any time because I'm with company I really, really love." — Brad Pitt. [Mirror]
• "It's a great job, but it doesn't leave time for what's important, like having a family. I want to live in the country and have a walled garden with chickens and pigs." — Lily Allen, on being a pop star. [Mirror]
• "I was kind of seeing this guy and then it was over. So I texted my godmother in Jamaica and told her and as a joke I said, 'Maybe my next conquest should be Simon Cowell.' You know when someone is in your mind and you accidentally text them? He replied, 'Sorry?'" — Lily Allen, on accidentally propositioning Simon Cowell. [The Sun]
• "My son! My husband! Food! Oh, fashion? I don't know. A good bra?" — What Sarah Jessica Parker can't live without. [Bazaar]
• "I think pop culture has done a number on creativity, because for me to make that statement [that I'm into acting], I get the reaction: 'Really?' It's like, 'Yeah, why wouldn't I?' The opportunity is there. It's sort of like, I have a day job, and this becomes a hobby (that) I can plunge into with full creative eagerness." — Justin Timberlake, to Katie Couric. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I stopped reading all fashion and trash magazines. I don't want to be influenced any more by what's in and what's out and what makes somebody cool or not cool. In the middle of the night I'd go and take a pee, and on the bathroom floor would be a magazine, and I found myself memorizing banal headlines like 500 Best Black Tops. So I read only books – A Farewell To Arms, it's a heartbreaker, oh god – and decoration magazines." — Liv Tyler. [Wonderland Magazine]
• "I have to say really, I feel better than I ever felt in my life. I did have a moment, though, over the weekend my first like huh… I don't want to [turn 40]. I found a really long gray hair and it kind of flipped me out. It's not my first but it's the fact that it was so long. I was like, 'Oh that's been there. How many others are there, and what does that mean? It actually brought me to tears slightly." — Jennifer Aniston, on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. [People]

Olivia, a 22-year-old who moved out of her parents Upper East Side apartment this summer into her own $4,150 a month bachelorette pad, was infamous on Socialite Rank for allegedly writing an email to other socialites (which inevitably made the rounds on blogs), apologizing for being a sycophantic social climber and asking for "acceptance," which in itself is kind of sycophantic and climber-y. She was once a student at New School, has a fan site, and up until this past July, insisted she would not be appearing on The City because she wanted to be "a serious actress." That is, until, she, like many others in their early-20s, had a change of heart about career plans and decided she wanted to be "a brand." (She's Whitney's "work" friend on the "reality" show and not really a publicist. She just plays one on TV. She actually has a PR firm, Rogers & Cowan, in her employ.) In the clip above, Olivia tells Whitney about her first pair of Manolos that she wore to her deb ball. Then Whitney sits down with her mentor and former People's Revolution boss Kelly Cutrone, who, when she learned about Whitney working with Olivia, said, "Shut. Up. She got a job? That's very unlike her. Why is she working?"

It's hard to tell what exactly is contrived and what's the real deal, but that doesn't stop people from trying. Today, the New York Post reveals that Whitney's day job on the show—doing in house PR for Diane Von Furstenberg—is fake, with one source saying "She doesn't really work. She is hardly ever in the office." And that comes as no surprise, given Whitney's employment history on The Hills, "stylink" at Teen Vogue, and PR at People's Revolution, when in real life, she's actually designed her line of clothing Eve & A.

In The Hills episode that sets up the premise for Whitney's spinoff, she's alerted to an opening at DVF through Kelly Cutrone, her boss at People's Revolution, and while she's in NYC on business, she goes to a bar and meets a musician who will be her love interest on her own show. Perfect coincidence or perfect casting? It all seemed too perfectly suited for tripod camera-captured moments to actually be real moments.

However, Cutrone insists to New York magazine (in a very lengthy new article about the show) that Whitney was a "very real" employee at People's Revolution, and that she played no part in MTV's machinations in inventing a new ingenue. "It wasn’t like I did all that for Whitney thinking she’d get her own show,” she says. “It’s not like I’m in secret cahoots with DVF here. I mean, I don’t even represent her.” However, New York notes that Cutrone is currently pitching her own show about her own life with the working title Kell on Earth. So is everyone just playing along with this manufactured reality in order to achieve the new Paris Hiltion-esque American dream of creating a career out of participatory self-exploitation?

As for what's real and what's fake, it looks like Whitney's relationship with Jay Lyon, the Australian musician, is indeed for real. And that's weird for a number of reasons because she's reportedly been dating similarly named E! News' Ben Lyons for a while now.

As for whether or not she's even really living in NYC, that's up in the air. She tells New York, “I’m living in either midtown or the Gramercy area—I don’t really know, to be perfectly honest. I’m in a tall building, way up high.” Who doesn't know what neighborhood they live in? And as for the "supporting cast," well, they consist of the usual suspects of NYC's climber-y circle, namely Olivia Palermo, a self-professed socialite who told producers she wanted to be on the show "because I want to be a brand.” Ew. Olivia was originally supposed to be featured on a different show about glamorous NYC twentysomethings pitched by Devorah Rose, who made a memorable appearance on the reality show The Fashionista Diaries.

To sum it up, Whitney says of The City and its cast: "It’s a really wonderful opportunity for all these kids," recognizing that her "reality" is less of a life, and more of a vehicle. However, it may be one that's stalled. The most recent Hills season finale (which aired December 22) averaged 2.6 million total viewers, down from 3.8 million for the previous season finale. Maybe viewers finally realized that in order to follow the lives of these people, Us Weekly is a much more accurate source. And how fucked up is it that we just referred to a tabloid as being more accurate than what's captured on tape?

Run for the Hills [NY Mag]
Holidays Hurt "Hills" As Finale Ratings Fall [Reuters]
HARD LABOR [NY Post]
Whitney Port talks 'The City,' and drops a major 'Hills' scoop! [EW]
Earlier: 'The Fashionista Diaries': Devora Rose Gives Mandie "Cunt Face" Erickson A Run For Her Money

• Remind the world to never buy a Duncan Quinn suit. Unless, I guess, you know someone who's about to strangle a scantily-clad woman on the hood of a fucking car. [Feministe, via NY Mag]

• Versace's being sued by the former assistant to a US executive, claiming she was subject to harassment based on her race and sex, forced to relay sexually explicit voicemail messages, and fired when she objected. [Reuters]
• One of the alleged messages: to tell her boss he'd given some guy an STD. Versace says it's "confident that . . . [it] will not be held responsible in any way." [New York Post]
• Beyonce's "style secrets" are less than explosive: "Some of the necklines and silhouettes, and even some of the fabrics they chose, [for Cadillac Records] look so appropriate for now. I love them! I feel that everything comes back, and since this is something so special to me we incorporated it in [my House of Dereon] line." [People]
• Want to see Karl Lagerfeld naked? No? What about Donatella Versace? They, plus Agyness and Galliano, have been drawn in the buff — okay, with fig leaves — for a new line of Henry Holland tee shirts. [New York]
• ID Models — apparently home to "models" Leelee Sobieski and Tara Reid — is closing, or merging, or something. [Fashionista]
• Ooh, stills from Audrey Tautou's new Chanel biopic, which we're totally excited about even though it will obviously airbrush out all Petainiste sympathies and anti-Semitism! Yay! Movies! [Fashionologie]
• Upon receiving an award from the Council for the United States and Italy, Miuccia Prada said...nothing. "After an ear-numbing string of speeches, Prada explained: 'I am not shy. I just don't like to be generic. I'm not able to speak in sound bites. So I don't do it.'" [Breitbart]
• Elle jumps on the slightly disturbing virtual bandwagon with some fake clothes. "The collection of short party dresses, leggings and sparkly tops, which debuted Tuesday, retails at a boutique on Stardoll.com, a virtual world for teens and young adults that has more than 23 million registered users globally." [WSJ]
• Kelly Cutrone hopes her new reality show will provide an "opportunity on TV for young women to see women in power.” What's she saying, that fake-working doesn't count? [New York]
• Lovely luxe bag-makers Mulberry's profits wane; they issue a profit warning. [Times of London]
• Moddle Lara Stone gets an entire issue of French Vogue. Says someone at the mag, cryptically: “Have you ever met Lara Stone? If you met her, you would know. She’s an amazing person.” [Fashionista]
• Lanvin's denim line for Acne debuts; jeans cost upwards of $500. [New York]
• Abercrombie's refusing to cut prices; suffering. [The Street]
• Page Six asks, "Which actress who plays a teen on a hit TV show incorrectly insists she's a size zero? Employees at a clothing line have to remove all the bigger-size labels from garments they send her to her to keep her happily deluded ." Yes, it's hard being a Size 2. [New York Post]
• Speaking of vague gossip! Everyone's a-twitter about this Wintour-Ralph Lauren luncheon sighting: "The fabulous fashionistas both arrived on the early side — 12:30 — and were still deep in conversation after much of the dining room had departed. Now that we've been assured by Si Newhouse that Anna's safe at the top of Vogue's masthead, we have to wonder why the pair looked downright anguished. We watched in fascination as the pair leaned over the table with their foreheads practically touching as Ralph propped his head up with his hands and rubbed his eyes. Tough times for the titan?" Or a bad oyster? [Media Bistro]

Kelly has a mouth on her, especially when talking about what it's like to be a successful woman. “I think that people hate women. And I don’t think they like powerful women, and I think it really goes back to Salem, I really do. I think it really goes back to this concept of, you know, hysterical coming from uterus… I think that people really have to look back to Egypt, and this concept of women being in power is not a new thought. With the advent of religion, you saw the demise of the female in the godhead. In Christianity, Mary gets pregnant on her own, she doesn’t even get fucked.”

As raunchy and fantastic as that vagina monologue was, Kelly's secret plans for The Hills are really the best part about her interaction with Observer all-star Meredith Bryan. Cutrone is friends with Paul Morrissey, a former denizen of Warhol's factory. She also lives with an up-and-coming male model named Demian, though their relationship is strictly platonic. So Cutrone's brain came up with this little gem of an idea: “I was like, ‘Paul, if I get Whitney to marry Demian, will you come and direct an episode of The Hills?’ That would be the ultimate Warhol thing, right? To get fucking Paul to do an episode of The Hills would be amaaaaazing!” My brain just exploded from all the meta.

The Dark Angel Of The Hills [Observer]

Earlier: Fashion PR Lady Kelly Cutrone Is So Boss