keeping it up for the kardassians

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Porn Ultimatum

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birminghamdrunk
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Um, yeah, but not as gross as "Cocktomom" (like Octomom, get it?) via AVN website yesterday- it was on fleshbot, I shit you NOT.
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vertigo2120
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
I think the real grossness is that the title is one letter away from a porn movie featuring Cardassians. I mean, would you really want to see this guy in porn? That's the real crime.
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Cafezinha
03/24/09

@vertigo2120: I bet SOMEBODY'S done it, or at least thought about it.

[io9.com]

(NSFW!)
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rosasparks
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Should we be happy, though, they are keeping it UP for them? At least they're expecting those who have sex with them have to keep it up?

It's start, at least. Even if it's 3 sisters fucking each other or whatever the hell. Baby steps!
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bluebears
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
I call bullshit. the one in blue looks NOTHING like a Kardashian. Sheesh. Take some pride in your own work, pornsters.
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BabyJane
03/24/09

@bluebears: The least they could have done was get her hair extensions.
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bluebears
03/24/09

@BabyJane: sigh...the laziness!
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BabyJane
03/24/09

@bluebears: It's so hard to respect their work when they're just phoning it in.
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amowls
03/24/09

@bluebears: I think that could be the mother, I'm not exactly sure.
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BabyJane
03/24/09

@amowls: I was totally kidding before, but I have to say that if that is supposed to be the mother (which hadn't even occurred to me) that's even more nasty than I originally thought.
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bluebears
03/24/09

@amowls: oooh. good eye. also if thats true I'm with BabyJane, DISGUSTING.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Porn copy writers - still the most inventive in the biz.
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Frequentlywrong
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Please some man explain to me what is so wonderful about screwing sisters at the same time??? I understand the two (or 3 or 4 or more) women fantasy, but two people who are related??? I just do not get it.

And those girls should sue hustler, I'm very dissapointed in Flynnt (is he still alive?)
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Schm
03/24/09

@Frequentlywrong: You would be surprised at the disgusting shit so many people are into. The twins porn (yes, with actual related actors) doesn't even scrape the surface of grossness. I used to rate websites for a search engine company and we had to look at A LOT of porn. Oh, the horrors I've seen...
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PaintedTrollop
03/24/09

@Frequentlywrong:

Why are you disappointed in Larry Flynt? Have you ever looked at old Hustlers, notably the one where a woman is being put through a meatgrinder on the cover? Hustler has always been shit, and so has Flynt, despite the misguided efforts of some happy yahoos who tried to turn him into a free speech icon. He's a dirtbag. Now and forever.
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morninggloria
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Why is incestuous relations between sisters gross? It's not like two of them could get the other one pregnant with a "The Hills Have Eyes" baby. What about sexy twins? Don't sexy twins exist to involve themselves in no-holds-barred threesomes with fraternity brothers who have drank so much that they are barely able to get it up, much less perform sexually?
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sumerfish
03/24/09

@morninggloria: Incest is less about genetics and more about family dynamics, IMHO. There's some creepy power dynamics involved. There can't be true consent or equality because there's always some sort of hierarchy in families.

Also, I just figured out you were being sarcastic.

I have the dumb today.
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Schm
03/24/09

@morninggloria: Why else would The Lord put them here on Earth?
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morninggloria
03/24/09

@sumerfish: It's cool; your mothers must have been identical twins!
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HeinzDoofenshmirtz
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Joel McHale should totally sue the company for stealing the title of the DVD.
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doodley is not amused
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Oh, that Larry Flynt. Always keeping it klassy.
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Eleanor Ramilly
03/24/09

@doodley is not amused: More like keeping it Assy...

BADUM..
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megscissorhands
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Could the Kardashians sue over this? I mean, it's pretty damn obvious Hustler is exploiting their names and likenesses.
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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
03/24/09

@megscissorhands: probably not. They are public figures and even the lowest form of satire is protected speech.
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acutebutcute
03/24/09

@megscissorhands: @Beets.Go.On: i think they might be able to sue... i'm pretty sure they successfully sued when the pillsbury dough boy was in a porn. i think barbie too... my memory of these cases is (obviously) a little hazy.
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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
03/24/09

@acutebutcute: those aren't people, those are trademarked artistic products. Copyright infringement is prosecuted differently than use of a public figure's likeness.
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Beat Girl
03/24/09

@megscissorhands: Unless they have copyrighted their family name (practically impossible) and/or their identities (actually impossible) they have no grounds to stand on as far as sueing.

So, no.
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Rare Affinity
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Isn't a common male fantasy supposed to involve twins, who are also presumably closely related too?
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
03/24/09

@Rare Affinity: I have never understood this. That's just too much familial togetherness.
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lilbobbytables
03/24/09

@Rare Affinity: I have heard of that fantasy, although no one I know will cop to it. Personally, I do not think that incest is arousing.
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Schm
03/24/09

@Rare Affinity: Yeah this definitely isn't a strange concept in terms of porn; there's tons of movies out there which feature ACTUAL twins, not just depictions. Sooooooooo disgusting, and I don't get it.
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Cafezinha
03/24/09

@Schmalerie: I always thought those were pretty gross anyway.

Now, as a mother of twins?

ENRAGING.
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Schm
03/24/09

@Cafezinha: Oh god. Please keep them safe. There were "hot twins" at our school and I think every single guy fantasized about them. Poor chicks.
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Cafezinha
03/24/09

@Schmalerie: I get kind of mad sometimes when people are like, oh, you'll need to buy your husband a shotgun for when they're teenagers lolololz (SR. ZINHA DOES NOT OWN OUR DAUGHTERS' SEXUALITY, KTHXDIE), but then I see "hot twins" crap and think about buying matching mother-of-pearl handled pistols for our next anniversary.
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onestrawplz
03/24/09

@Rare Affinity: Twin fetishes make me physically ill. They are related. Incest is never sexy.
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baraqiel
03/24/09

In reply to Porn Ultimatum
Wow. Who writes this copy? "From glamor and glitz to jizz on their tits!" That sounds like an ad line for Bratz or something.
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Eleanor Ramilly
03/24/09

@baraqiel: I think they know they don't have to try that hard. This product will sell itself.
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Schm
03/24/09

@baraqiel: Beautiful prose.
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cupscake
03/24/09

@baraqiel:

I'm in the wrong business!
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megscissorhands
03/24/09

@baraqiel: someone who graduated from the University of Rhymey-Time. Because tits and glitz just kicks this whole thing up to another level of good poetry.
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baraqiel
03/24/09

@cupscake: It's actually hilarious to me when people do that kind of work for porn. Remember the Presidents of the United States of America? After they broke up, their frontman started composing soundtrack music for pornos.
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