• Courtney Love is making vicious accusations via Facebook, and both Edward Norton and Britney Spears are involved.

In one message, Courtney writes (and consider there to be a giant [sic] after everything):

IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn't have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor … i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k

As for Britney, Courtney says:

britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO.

Um… yeah. Shit. Speechless. [Movieline]

• In other news, Courtney Love to her band to a strip club and left them there. [Page Six]
• We've heard Britney Spears wants to get married again, but have we heard this? A source says: "She is in love with the idea of marriage. She has been married only twice, but has proposed to many more." [MSNBC via News.com.au]
• The White House state dinner was star-studded! In attendance: Producers David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg, directors Steven Spielberg and M. Night Shyamalan, actor Blair Underwood and actress Alfre Woodward. Plus: Deepak Chopra and journalists Sanjay Gupta, Katie Couric, Fareed Zakaria, Robin Roberts and Brian Williams. And Jennifer Hudson performed! My last dinner party involved plastic cups and white zinfandel. [UPI]
• If something is really good, Rihanna calls it "barf." "Usually it's ‘ill' or ‘I want to throw up on it," she says. "But barf is the worst," meaning the best. "Barf is 10 out of 10." [NY Times]
• Damn: Rihanna is getting paid $500,000 to to perform at a New Year's Eve party at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi. Can she wear that white Fifth Element bandage jumpsuit in the UAE? [Page Six]
• Things are heating up between Emma Watson and her Spanish rock star. [Telegraph]
• Usher is dating a record exec — named Grace Miguel — who used to work at the label he's signed to. And, shocker! Grace and Usher's mom, Jonetta, do not get along. Sound familiar? The same thing happened with Usher's wife, Tameka Foster. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's a happy Thanksgiving: Ellen DeGeneres gave an out-of-work mom from the Bronx $10,000 and a new car. [NY Daily News]
• Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars. Then there was a fire on the set. [People]
• DWTS judge Carrie Ann Inaba is having surgery: "I have arthritis. The space around my spinal cord has become compressed," Inaba explains. "I have been locked. My neck was so stiff. We're hoping this procedure will relieve that." [People]
• The pyramid design of Lady Gaga's Heartbeats headphones was inspired by her fashion choices when growing up: "I wore studded leather jackets, me and my friends in New York. Lifestyle, grit, passion and love for music, freedom. These were the things I thought about when we were designing [the headphones]." [People]
• Beyoncé just finished her tour, and told the crowd at her last stop — in Nottingham, England — that she hopes to see them all in a year with a new album. Work work work! [Reuters]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, admits he's tried to sell footage of himself and La Lopez from their time together, but it's not sleazy: "They think I have a sex tape with her and that I'm trying to sell it. My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There's no nudity-maybe one spanking. There's moments of her fighting with her mom...couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it's not me." [E!]
• Congrats to Alan Cumming, who was made an Office of the British Empire at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday. The Scottish-born actor and gay rights advocate reportedly dressed in tartan head-to-toe for the occasion. Must find pix! [UPI]
• American Idol season 3 contestant Jon Peter Lewis (who?) has issues with Adam Lambert's AMA performance: "All this nonsense about Adam Lambert's whole project being art is bogus. That idea is absurd. It's like calling Thomas Kinkade art. What a sham." [Us Magazine]
• Melissa Etheridge has advice for Adam Lambert: "Don't believe everything they say. Stay true to yourself. The only person who can answer what you should do is  yourself. Love yourself. You will hear as many people praise you as you will hear them tear you down." [E!]
• Rosie O'Donnell was asked if she's enjoying the single life. She replied: "I'm not." [NY Daily News]
• Would you like to see a picture of the Real Housewives Of NYC frolicking in the Virgin Islands? [NY Post]
• "A million fans are being invited to take part in the composition of a pointillist portrait of the late U.S. pop icon Michael Jackson… The project has the blessing of Jackson's brother, Jermaine." [UPI]
• The Official Michael Jackson Opus book is 26 lbs., 400 pages and $249. [The Life Files]
• Julie Andrews will play London's O2 arena, and the venerable Clive Davis writes: "Whether or not Andrews's voice is the flawless multi-octave instrument that it once was, she has always been a consummate professional… Besides, legends are in short supply at the moment." [The Times Of London]
• Transformers director Michael Bay hosted a reunion of the show's cast and crew the other night in NYC, and Megan Fox did not attend. [Page Six]
• Amber Rose asked a stranger in a bathroom to zip up the back of her dress for her, saying: . "I have a hard time staying in this thing, but Kanye loves it." [Page Six]
• The new Miss California, Nicole Johnson, says she once dated Michael Phelps. And! Phelps may have dated Carrie Prejean as well. [TMZ]
• "A nude photo of film director Roman Polanski, who is now being held in a Swiss prison, and his wife Sharon Tate taken shortly before she was brutally murdered, will be sold at an upcoming auction where it could fetch more than $10,000, organizers said." [Reuters]
• Avril Lavigne was seen "passionately making out with a mystery man" in NYC Tuesday night. She was seen with Wilmer Valderrama over the weekend… Maybe divorce makes you horny? [Radar Online]
• The Pussycat Dolls have broken up and no one is speaking to Nicole Scherzinger, if you care. [Page Six]
• "Nellie McKay has three loves - animals, the Poconos, and Doris Day." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• "Cagefighter's mummy: Nasty Jordan has been horrid to my little Alex." [The Sun]
• "She's a remarkable story… But you're on air every day. Eventually you think, 'do people really want to hear me talk anymore?'" — Phil Donahue, on Oprah ending her show. [Page Six]
• "Wait … is that Zac Posen? Wow." — Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]
• Ten years ago I wouldn't have thought about having any children at all. [But do I want some?] Yes, yes, yes. I haven't given up hope. I find I'm not as bad with children as I used to be. I see a lot of children are over-parented now, over-adored and over-spoiled. I quite like children to be left alone to get on with it." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "I think a show like this probably couldn't have happened five years ago, but I think with the success of American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance and other movie musicals, like Hairspray, Chicago and Nine that's coming up, they set the groundwork for people to accept it and being excited about it. I think we're putting a different twist on it to make it fun and interesting and kind of cool." — Glee's Matthew Morrison. [CNN]
• "You know that devil on your shoulder that tells you terrible things about people and of course you'd never say 'maybe you don't really believe.' She has no filter, and it just comes right out. So I'm a nice person after I leave Glee because I get to exercise the heinous behavior while I'm in a track suit yelling at defenseless children." — Jane Lynch. [CNN]
• "As traumatic and as terrifying as it was — and sometimes I wish it never happened — my whole life changed in the most amazing way after I went through that. If I didn't go through that, I swear, you would've been interviewing a completely different person." — Rihanna, on being assaulted by Chris Brown. [NY Times]
• "Everyone wanted me to see a therapist to just talk about it, and I refused. In Barbados we don't do that. We keep it in our family, and figure it out and move on. I just put my game face on and went on with my life. But deep down inside I had some things to get past, and it came out in the music." — Rihanna. [NY Times]

We know Sarah Palin isn't the biggest fan of Vogue, but we think she'd do really well guest-editing her own issue. So we've worked up a sample cover in the style of our Cover Lies feature (in which we expose how little relationship ladymags, like Sarah Palin, have to reality). While the real Vogue bows to the recession with its $300 "Steal" of the Month, Palin could show us how to get a $150,000 wardrobe for free — and how to pick a $700/night hotel, complete with robe and slippers. In lieu of book reviews, she could offer up a bunch of snide remarks about Katie Couric — "the perky one" probably can't read anyway. And for balance, Palin could add some media elite contributors, like Trig-birther Andrew Sullivan and Rebecca Johnson. (Johnson works for the fake America but the real Vogue, and says all Palin wanted to talk about in her much-maligned interview was "drilling for oil" — but what else is there, anyway?) In fact, right after a Jeffrey Steingarten piece on moose-meat, Going Vogue should include a free sample of premium Alaska crude. We hear it gets rid of both wrinkles and endangered wildlife.

Fact Check: Palin's Book Goes Rogue On Some Facts [AP, via Yahoo News]
Palin's Katie Couric Myths [Daily Beast]
Palin's Ego Trip [Daily Beast]

Palin's Oprah appearance was in some ways disappointing, as she buttered up her host and hewed closely to talking points already leaked from the book. Things really only got interesting when she let her guard down and started calling Levi "Ricky Hollywood." Going Rogue is much the same story. Don't read the book for Palin's lengthy descriptions of Alaska energy policy (short version: she believes she helped usher in a "mutually beneficial relationship between government and industry") or for her recommendations for the future of America (short version: Reaganomics). Don't read it for her justifications of her resignation (we've heard them all before) or even for her explanation of how she would have managed her role in the McCain campaign differently (even she acknowledges that they probably still would've lost). Read it for the insults. Or, better yet, just read the insults, and save yourself $28.99.

On anti-corporate liberals (aka Commies):

In national politics, some feel that Big Business is always opposed to the Little Guy. Some people seem to think a profit motive is inherently greedy and evil, and that what's good for business is bad for people. (That's what Karl Marx thought too.)

On Ashley Judd:

One animal rights group recruited a perky, pretty celebrity to attack our scientifically-controlled, state-managed wolf-control program. It was ironic that she opposed using guns to kill predators that would cause Native people to starve, but apparently not opposed to taking movie roles in which she'd use guns to kill predatory people.

On John Kerry:

I recalled Senator John Kerry's comment to California college students in 2006: "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."
What a loon, I thought. What an elitist loon.

On Vogue readers:

We were bombarded with interview requests, including, believe it or not, a Vogue magazine profile of Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius and me in a fashion shoot. [...] Since fashion trends weren't my top interest, I kept bringing the Vogue writer's questions back to national security and energy independence. That made it tough for her, as she was doing her best to write for readers who cared about the latest Fifth Avenue styles and probably wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of Sorels. She finally had to stop me and nicely say she had heard enough about energy. I just couldn't pivot from hydropower to high fashion, so the interview wasn't that great for her readers, I'm sure.

On Katie Couric:

By September 29, the day of the bailout vote, we had fallen behind. That bracket of time also included my seemingly endless serial chat with the lowest-rated news anchor in network television, CBS's Katie Couric. [...]

Katie asked me if I thought it was possible to "pray away gay" — to convert homosexuals to heterosexuality through prayer. Hmmm, I thought. Odd question. I don't think she really wanted to hear my answer because she interrupted me five times as I tried to give it. The badgering had begun. This is really annoying me, I thought. Then she asked me about abortion and the morning-after pill twelve times. Twelve different times.
I answered as graciously and as patiently as I could. Each time, I reiterated my pro-life, pro-woman, pro-adoption position. But no matter how many ways I tried to say it, Katie responded by asking the question again in a slightly different way. I began to feel like I was in the movie Groundhog Day. [...]

I felt sick about the depths to which some in the press had apparently sunk, not because it was unfair to me and John, but because it was unfair to the American electorate.

On cap-and-trade policies:

As more and more Americans understand that cap and trade is an environmentalist Ponzi scheme in which only the government benefits, they will refuse to tolerate it.

On Levi Johnston:

[Track Palin] talked about watching his sister be humiliated on national television as her former boyfriend went on his fact-free kiss-and-tell media tour. Track knew the kid was making things up.

On the Democratic party:

There are many fine Democrat public servants, but sadly many in the party have moved increasingly to the left, and often the beating heart of their political warfare has been the personal destruction of their enemies. Generally speaking, after decades of failed social policies and weak national security positions, the party doesn't have a strong base of success from which to win political arguments. So it targets people instead of ideas.

And finally, epically, on the media:

[...] I will state this complaint for the record: what used to be called "mainstream" national media are, in many respects, worthless as a source of factual information anymore. The sin of omission glares in their reporting. Perhaps national press outlets just don't have the resources anymore to devote to balanced coverage. Perhaps they've all just given up on themselves, so we've given up on them too, except to treat their shoddy reporting like a car crash — sometimes you just have to look. The time has come to acknowledge that it is counterfeit objectivity the liberal media try to sell consumers. A period in the great American experiment has passed. We are moving into a new, more intelligent realm to gather information differently in order to hold our government accountable. Thank God there are still a few credible broadcasters on cable news, plus informative talk radio, common sense blogs, and some fine, fact-based print publications. Beware of the left's attempt to silence these — as they have already with the bogus "Fairness Doctrine," which attempts to blunt the force of conservative talk radio — and join me in being all over it when censoring efforts crop up.

Of course, there's more in Going Rogue, from a detailed list of complaints against McCain staffers who attempted to police Palin to an argument that parental notification laws for abortion offer young girls "support and protection" to an explanation of Palin's views on evolution (she believes in it, sort of). But really, her constant criticism of the "liberal media" for its attacks on her is somewhat hypocritical, since attacking others is actually her best skill. Of course, it's hard to tell where Palin ends and ghostwriter Lynn Vincent begins, but ever since her comment that "a small-town mayor is sort of like a 'community organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities," she's set herself up as a contemporary poet of the dis. She doesn't always have her facts straight, but she knows how to turn the knife, and it's when so turning that she seems most authentically herself. On Oprah, Palin didn't rule out starting her own talk show, and perhaps she'll yet become the next Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly, offering her sharp if oddly-hewn barbs in response to what she sees as liberal media attacks. Because even though she says she wanted to give a message of unity in her nixed concession speech, what Sarah Palin really excels at is good, old-fashioned mudslinging.

Going Rogue: An American Life [Amazon]

An unnamed McCain aide is disputing Sarah Palin's charge in Going Rogue that they gave Katie Couric access because of pity of Couric's alleged "low self esteem": "The truth is, she refused to prepare for the Katie Couric interview," the adviser tells The Plum Line's Greg Sargent today. "She refused to engage in any preparation. And it was a disaster." This should be familiar to anyone who remembers the last time the McCain campaign and Palin engaged in all-out sniping — just after they lost.

Of course, it's still possible that's not what Palin said at all, at least if you take her word for it. She wrote on her Facebook page today, "As you probably have heard, the AP snagged a copy of my memoir, 'Going Rogue,' before its Tuesday release. And as is expected, the AP and a number of subsequent media outlets are erroneously reporting the contents of the book."

It will shock you that Palin provided no examples.

Sarah Palin: AP "Erroneously" Reporting On Book [Politico]
McCain Adviser Denies Palin's Claim That She Granted Couric Interview Because She Felt Sorry For Her [Plum Line]

Earlier: Leak Reveals No Levi, Plenty of Katie-Bashing In "Going Rogue"

According to the AP, Palin never mentions her daughter's Playgirl-posing baby-daddy in her 413 page book. Instead, she focuses on her favorite target: the "liberal" media. In what sounds like an especially nasty section, Palin says she initially "felt sorry" for Katie Couric because a McCain aide told her that Couric was suffering from low self-esteem. But instead of thanking Palin for her pity, Couric "badgered" her, focusing on "gotcha" moments over more "substantive" issues. Palin also claims that Couric was the ignorant one, whose lack of knowledge about energy politics left Palin wondering what newspapers she read. Palin also has some choice words for Charlie Gibson — he "peered skeptically" at her like a principal during their interview, yet also refused to talk about "substantive issues."

But the real villains of Going Rogue may be McCain's operatives. Palin said they stuck her with a $50,000 bill for her vetting process after the campaign was over, an interesting claim given that many at the time wondered if she had been vetted at all. The McCain campaign's lawyer denies that Palin was ever billed. Palin also complains that even though she rewrote the statement prepared for her about her daughter's pregnancy, TV anchors read the McCain camp's version anyway, which she felt "glamorized and endorsed her daughter's situation." It's tempting to wonder what kind of condemnation Palin had in mind for her daughter's pregnancy, but Bristol may be lucky that the McCain campaign, and not her mother, controlled her public shaming.

In general, the leaked info makes Going Rogue sound like vintage Palin — she's still trying live in her own version of reality, and she's mad when anyone challenges it. At a Nov. 6 Wisconsin appearance, closed to both press and cameras, she apparently claimed that Obama had made the decision to move the phrase "in God we trust" from the front of the new dollar coin to the edge. But this bit of heinous God-marginalizing was actually enacted by Republicans in Congress. And on the healthcare bill, she told her Facebook friends, "Look closely at the provisions mandating bureaucratic panels that will be calling the shots regarding who will receive government health care. Look closely at provisions addressing illegal aliens' health care coverage too" — sinister yet meaningless recommendations.

The population of Palin-world may be dwindling — Time's Mark Halperin says "the smart money [is] betting that Palin won't be a contender for 2012" — but Palin remains this strange land's defiant queen. In her Oprah appearance, slated to air Nov. 16, she claims the McCain camp totally approved of her performance in the Couric interview: "The campaign said, right on. Good. You're showing your independence." In a statement that pretty much sums up how Sarah Palin views the world, a former senior campaign official says, "No sentient person would look at that and say that."

Palin's Book Tells Of Trouble On GOP Ticket [AP, via NPR]
Leaks Launch Palin's 'Going Rogue' With That Ol' Campaign Fervor [Washington Post]
AP: Palin Book Goes After McCain Camp But Not Levi [AP]
The Rogue Returns: On The Road With Sarah Palin [Time]

Sporting a ferocious blow out and newly bright highlights, Palin comes off as polished, gracious, and even a little self aware.

Watch CBS News Videos Online


Winfrey asks Palin if she thought the interview with Katie Couric was a "seminal defining moment" for her.

Palin: I did not. And neither did the campaign. In fact, that is why Segment 2 and 3 and 4 and maybe 5 were scheduled. The campaign said, right on. Good. You're showing your independence. This is what America needs to see and it was a good interview. And of course I'm thinking, if you thought that was a good interview, I don't know what a bad interview is because I knew it was a bad interview.

She also implies that she would invite Levi Johnston to Thanksgiving dinner, if only he would "even consider such a thing—he is part of the family and you want to bring him in the fold and kind of under your wing."

Watch CBS News Videos Online


But perhaps most important to anyone looking for signs of Palin's political intentions is the fact that she was clearly coached to de-emphasize her soap-operatic personal life and play up some sort of work ethic:

"We don't have to keep going down this road of controversy and drama all the time. We're not really into the drama. We don't really like that. We're more productive. We have other things to concentrate on..."

Fair enough. But early word on Palin's book, Going Rogue, suggests that the stuff of actual policy isn't top among the things Palin is concentrating on. According to Marc Halperin, "Don't look for hefty policy prescriptions."

Sarah Palin On Katie Couric Interview [CBS News]
Sarah Palin: Levi Is 'Loved' [CBS]
What's In Sarah Palin's Book [The Page]

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Look, no one expects a hard-hitting interview for the Women of the Year feature - it's meant to be a tribute and an informational Q&A. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but giggle when Katie said - and I paraphrase - "You invited young girls from the D.C. public schools to meet with strong female role models at the White House: Why did you do that?" (Also inadvertently goofy was, upon asking Obama the standard "who would you choose to have dinner with?" Couric added, sympathetically, "it is a hard question, I must say." )

You can probably guess the reason behind the White House meet-and-greet: Obama spoke extensively about the importance of mentoring, a new mentoring initiative she's starting for young women, and the extent to which people in her own life affected her. Other hot topics were nutrition and diet ("Maybe You Should Write A Cookbook!" exclaimed Couric) and the importance of healthcare for women.

Throughout, Obama was gracious, articulate, and definitely on-message - in classic First Lady mode, and wearing it nicely. She was eager to identify as a woman, a wife, and a mom, making the point that,
"we have to remember that it's usually women who handle healthcare decisions." One very interesting moment, I thought, was when Couric added, "You must have learned a lot about this in your previous life as a hospital administrator," and Obama replied, "I've learned a lot in my life as a mom." Message received! When Couric, referencing the scrutiny applied to Obama's appearance, led with, "Do you ever want to say to people, 'Get a life?'" Obama's denial was swift: "Oh no," she said. "It's part of the job." (Since we're on the topic, the First Lady looked lovely and her hair was very, very tall.)

Towards the end of the interview, Couric read a few questions from Glamour readers - things about "juggling," "having it all," and, yes, dating. These spontaneous answers were the interview's highlight. On the subject of keeping sane, Obama said this: "I put my kids first and myself a really close second. One thing I've learned from watching male role models is that they don't hesitate to invest in themselves."

But best of all was her answer to the question on "how you landed such a good guy." "Did you know that Mr. O. was a great catch," asks the reader, "and what advice can you give a 26-year-old young professional" about how to land her own? Not shockingly, Obama says the POTUS "was special in terns of his honesty, his sincerity, his compassion for other people...cute's good, but cute only lasts for so long." And then this, which should really just replace the dating portion of Self-Help:

Look at how the guy treats his mother, what he says about women, how he acts with children he doesn't know. And more importantly how does he treat you? When you're dating a man, you should always feel good...you should never feel less than...you should never doubt yourself, you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you completely happy or make you feel whole. And if you're in (such a) relationship, don't get married, and find that person who brings you complete and utter joy.

@katiecouric: Michelle Obama [CBS]

• In an interview with The Insider that airs tomorrow, Hailey Glassman says her boyfriend Jon Gosselin will "take his anger out on me... He has 'mantrums.' I shouldn't have to put up with being emotionally abused."

• "...I cry and say, 'Why are you so mean to me?'" Hailey says people have been criticizing her since she started dating Jon and "I get threats everyday. I get called a home wrecker and a fat whore. People will stare or point. It gets worse everyday." Yet, she still doesn't want to leave him. "I don't want to leave him all alone," she says. "At the end of the day, I love him but I dislike him at times. When I love someone I would never hurt them." There's a tear-filled preview here. [People, The Insider]
• Jon Gosselin's former nanny/lover Stephanie Santoro says she saw Jon smoking pot when the kids were in the house. "He said they were in bed and that he was out back smoking when we got there," says Santoro. "It was just Jon there that night with the kids…[Jon said], ‘That wore off quick – but it was just seeds…My good stuff is in New York." [Perez Hilton]
• On The Ellen DeGeneres Show Ellen asked Kate Gosselin about dating again and she said, "I'm not thinking about it, but the thought has crossed my mind at some point [that] it's going to be scrutinized... Let's not talk about it." [People]
• Jon Gosselin's rep denied In Touch's claim that a Jon Gosselin-Nadya Suleman reality show is in the works, but a rep for the reality show insists, "We've been developing this show for months." He says Jon is only denying it because, "After someone brings it to the media, it just freaks people out, but we're not BS-ing. This is going to end up on a network. We're talking to all four of them...Fox, ABC, NBC and CBS." The source says the show would start off as a one-time special and "We're even talking about scheduling it around the Superbowl. We think it could be that big. We think it could be American Idol-type" big. [E!]
• Katie Couric is dressing as Aaden Gosselin for Halloween. "I met Kate and she seems very nice," Couric said, "and I told her I was gonna be Aaden, and she said, 'You have to make sure you wear the glasses at the end of your nose.'" [Extra]
• Jessica Simpson just can't catch a break. Now PETA is giving her "whale-sized grrrs" for performing at Sea World. [U.S. News]
• Ed Meyer, who is producing a mockumentary called How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J-lo and and Ojani Noa Story, says he intends to sell home videofootage of Jennifer Lopez and Ojani Noa. [The Wrap]
• The LAPD has handed over the "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" case to the District Attorney, who said he'd file charges against Courtney Ames, Nick Prugo, Diana Tamayo, Roy Lopez Jr. and Alexis Taylor later today. [TMZ]
• Add Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green to the list of celebrities robbed by the "Burglar Bunch." Green's gun and some of Fox's t-shirts were stolen from his home recently, but he didn't realize there had been a break in because he was out of town shooting a movie. [TMZ]
• This Is It has already earned $2.2 million from late-night screenings, which distributor Sony calls "unprecedented" for a Tuesday in October. [AP]
• According to Dr. Arnold Klein's medical records he injected Michael Jackson with an intra-muscular drug labeled "I.M. Injection" 51 times in three months. An L.A. dermatologist says "I.M. Injection" is commonly used as billing code for Demerol. [TMZ]
• A medical board investigator testified today that Dr. Sandeep Kapoor kept a stash of Anna Nicole Smith's medical records hidden in his kitchen and on the floor of a closet at his home. The files had notes like, "opioid dependence on methadone" and "benzo addicted? To avoid" that were not included in her official medical records at his office. [AP]
• The People cover featuring Nicole Richie and her new baby was one of the mag's worst-selling issues. Just over a million magazines were sold, compared to People's usual average of 1.4 million a week. She was reportedly paid in the "mid-six figures" for the photos. [N.Y. Post]
• Bob Barker donated $1 million to Drury University to establish a professorship on animal rights that he hopes will lead to a full undergraduate degree program. [AP]
• Check out Adam Lambert's new album cover here: [Buzzfeed]
• Lisa Kudrow will guest star on Cougar Town as a "mean" dermatologist who treats Courteney Cox's character. [N.Y. Post]
• Kanye West and animator/cartoonist Bill Plympton are releasing a book called Through the Wire: The Words and Lyrics of Kanye West next month, which includes illustrated versions of 14 of Kanye's lyrics along with commentary "that gives insight into the man that we know." [Publishers Weekly]
• Jim Weatherly, the man who wrote "Midnight Train to Georgia," sings the original version. [Extra]
• Abigail Breslin will star as Helen Keller in a Broadway revival of The Miracle Worker with Alison Pill playing Annie Sullivan beginning in February. [N.Y.T.]
• Hayden Christensen and his brother Tove have filed a lawsuit against producer Philippe Martinez, who claimed to have secured $250 million for the production and distribution of independent films. They had entered into an agreement with Martinez to give him first-look rights to film projects from Hayden's Forrest Park Pictures. [The Wrap]
• Stephanie Pratt was formally charged with suspicion of DUI today. She was arrested two weeks ago after two breathalyzer tests registered .08 and .09. If convicted she could face up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. [TMZ]
• According to The National Enquirer, Josh Duhamel has been cheating on Fergie. He's having an affair with a "buxom, blonde stripper" named Nicole Forrester who claims their fling started when Josh introduced himself as "JD" and said he was in town making a porno movie. [National Enquirer]
• When asked if she and Taylor Lautner are dating, Taylor Swift said, "I don't know, he's an amazing guy and we're really close … and ah … yep... We're in a movie together and I am really excited about seeing it." [People]
• Denise Jonas says her son Kevin Jonas is marrying "the right girl." She says she's very similar to his fiancée Danielle Deleasa and she teases Kevin, "You're marrying your mother – but she is just thinner and prettier." [People]
• The recession is hitting everyone hard. 50 Cent says, "I buy diamonds on a very regular basis, but now I am selling my old stuff before I get something new. These are times when you learn about the value of money." [The Telegraph]

• "I think people may have seen that and got the wrong idea about us," said the chief executive officer, and a former employee claims there is nothing sexual about it. Oh really? •  Wanna know what's on Obama's walls? The Times has a full list of the art on display in the White House. The pieces range from a Winslow Homer to a Degas to a Rothko, thus proving once again that the first family has good taste. •  A supermarket in Britain has issued an apology after a pregnant woman was denied an unpasteurized cheese by a concerned employee. She described the experience as the "most patronising encounter I have had the misfortune of experiencing in a long time." •  Recent legislation in Gaza that bans women from riding on motorbikes has raised concerns over efforts by Hamas to Islamise Palestinian society. While few women ride motorbikes, this seems to be part of a larger trend toward moralized legislation. •  Michael Vick, the football player most famous for his dogfighting bust, is getting a reality TV show. Although we hate PETA, we agree with them here: "People who abuse animals don't deserve to be rewarded. They shouldn't be given multimillion-dollar contracts...or given the privilege of being a role model." • A British man who had sex with his daughter over a period of 33 years and fathered two children by her has been sentenced to twelve years in prison. He pled guilty to two of incest, two rapes, 12 indecent assaults and two indecency with a child. • Here's a good reason to move to Sweden: Toys "R" Us has been reprimanded by an agency that polices advertising in Sweden after a group of sixth-graders learning about gender roles determined that boys were portrayed as active, but girls were passive in the store's 2008 Christmas catalog. • Mazen Abdel-Jawad, a 32-year-old Saudi man, has been sentenced to five years in prison and 1,000 lashes after boasting about his sexual conquests on TV. For being shown on TV with sex toys, condoms, and lubricants and cruising the streets for women he was charged with, "publicizing vice and confessing to crimes on a satellite television channel." • According to a new study from the University of Michigan, an increase in the number of cases of nasopharyngeal cancer, a rare condition in which a tumor grows behind the nose and above the tonsils, is linked to HPV. • University of Toronto researchers have invented a new technology that can measure tiny droplets of estrogen from samples of breast tissue the size of a needle. Currently doctors need to do a biopsy to collect such data, which could be useful to see the progress of breast cancer therapy, to see if a woman is at risk, or for other problems like infertility. The technology will not be ready for several years. • Katie Couric will be honored with the 2009 Al Neuharth Award for Excellence in the Media by the University of South Dakota, but a columnist for the school's student newspaper says she's not ready for the award. "A 'life-time achievement award' to Couric is jumping the gun," writes David Whitesock. "Despite Ms. Couric's laudable efforts to introduce the evening news to the Internet generation, she has fallen short of 'Evening News' predecessors." • Bob Dole, who lived next to Monica Lewinsky at the Watergate complex in the '90s said at a heath reform summit today, "If I'd had little wiretap there, I could've been president... I never had..... a conversation with that lady." • Before making his final decision on whether he should run for president, Barack met with Chicago politicians Newton Minow and Abner Mikva who have six daughters between them. Obama said he admired both men's daughters, and hoped his own daughters would grow up to be like them, and that he wouldn't run if the two men felt that doing so while the girls were so young would damage them in any way. • An Australian hospital psychologist has had his license suspended for just two months after telling a sexual assault victim that he was sex-obsessed, had "very strong sexual feelings for her" and that he had "fucked up big time" with her therapy. He treated her in 2004 and 2005 and authorities only learned of his misconduct after the woman threatened to kill herself and hospital staff found a noose in her home. • Advocates say advances in DNA technology, reforms in how police investigate rapes, and better prosecution of rapists are reducing the number of reported U.S. rapes. FBI statistics say 89,000 women reported being raped in 2008, down brom the 109,062 reported rapes in 1992. • Julie Parker, 80, is the oldest and longest-tenured employee at Yosemite National Park. "Julia interprets Native American culture to our visitors," says a park spokesman. "She shows visitors how baskets were woven, toys or brushes were made and acorns collected from native black oak trees, ground up using a metate and made into mush... Julia is truly a national treasure." • It took Patrick Mills of Florida two days to get a nine week old kitten out of his car's engine compartment. Someone heard meowing coming from his engine, but Mills and firefighters were unable to coax the cat out even with donated milk from Starbucks and tuna from Panera Bread. The cat was finally frightened from her hiding spot when a Feline Friends of Destin volunteer rattled a metal coat hanger in the engine. The volunteer took the cat home and said she's healthy except for a minor cold. •

• Last night, David Letterman revealed that a CBS News employee is accused of trying to extort $2 million from him because he had sexual relationship with female employees.

The guy threatened to write a screenplay and a book about Letterman unless he was given money. Letterman says: "I was worried for myself, I was worried for my family. I felt menaced by this, and I had to tell them all of the creepy things that I had done." [AP]

• CBS is saying Letterman's accused extortionist was an employee at the news program 48 Hours named Robert Halderman, and he was arrested yesterday. [LA Times, Reuters, HuffPo]
• The New York Post is calling the Letterman incident a "sextortion" plot. [NY Post]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga's "Fame Kills" tour is dead. Canceled before it ever started. Refunds will be made available. [AP]
• A source says the Fame Kills ticket sales "sucked." Lady Gaga may tour, but play smaller venues. [TMZ]
• They're saying Lindsay Lohan poses on a "stripper pole" in ads for her line of leggings, 6126. But that pole looks structural! [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin says he had "no idea" he was being fired, and that he "found out just like everybody else … saw it on a laptop as an [Associated Press] newswire." His lawyer also says that Jon was going to "pull the plug" on the show weeks before TLC fired him. [People]
• Even though Jon has blocked the TLC crews from coming to the house, Kate Gosselin says: "Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show, and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children." [Gatecrasher]
• There's a Billboard cover story on Beyoncé, which reveals that she grossed some $53.5 million on her I Am… tour; she was the star and executive producer of the 2009 film Obsessed, which opened at No. 1 and has grossed more than $68.3 million in North America; the Knowles family has donated more than $2.5 million for transitional housing for Hurricane Katrina victims and storm evacuees in the Houston area; Beyoncé works with Feeding America to deliver more than 3.5 million meals to local food banks through fan donations; and, her father says: "Most people don't know this, but she's a really good painter." [ONTD via Billboard]
• WAIT WHAT?!?!? Liza Minnelli will do Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" in Sex And The City 2?!?!? Crap. Now that's something I want to see. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Simon Cowell's 50th birthday party — being held tomorrow at a mansion in Hertfordshire called Wrotham Park (it looks gorgeous!) — will have scantily clad showgirls and boys; tons of flowers; lots of food and cocktails; a smoker's tent; and performances by Rat Pack impersonators, Leona Lewis and maybe Lily Allen. Expect Kate Moss, Kylie Minogue, Donald Trump and possibly Paula Abdul to attend. [Daily Mail]
• Headline Of The Day: "Britney Spears Buys A Parakeet." [People]
• Britney's traveling aliases: Ms. Alotta Warmheart; Mrs. Diana Prince; Queen of the Fairy Dance and Mrs. Abra Cadabra. [Page Six]
• Weird: New York magazine's Emma Rosenblum sat next to Spencer Pratt when she attended a taping of The View yesterday. She writes: "So here are some facts about Spencie that you probably don't want to know, but I will tell you anyway: That necklace he's wearing is made of crystals, and he wears it to protect himself from evil. He has a 200-pound crystal from Peru in his house, which he had excavated and flown in specially. He's very proud of it. He laughs very loudly at anything that's semi-funny." [NY Mag]
• Since the Michael Jackson autopsy shows that the singer was healthy, it could be used against Dr. Conrad Murray: "It clearly establishes that Michael Jackson was a healthy person whose death appears to have been directly caused by the administration of some very powerful sedatives," says criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor Mark Werksman. "This autopsy report seems to clear the path for a prosecution that his death was caused by an overdose." [AP]
• "CBS anchor Katie Couric yesterday kicked back at her critics saying she thought the word 'gravitas' — the characteristic she is often accused of lacking — was 'Latin for testicles.'" [NY Post]
• Jay-Z and Alicia Keys: Shot a video at the Empire State Building on Wednesday. [Gatecrasher]
• Lil' Wayne will go on trial next March stemming from the January 2008 incident in which authorities found cocaine, Ecstasy and a handgun on his tour bus. [USA Today]
• Kate Hudson has bonded with Alex Rodriguez's daughters, Natasha and Ella. She's not doing as well with the Yankees, the players wives or girlfriends. [MSNBC Scoop via In Touch]
• Oliver Hudson and wife Erin Bartlett are expecting their second child. [NY Daily News]
• "Mary-Louise Parker certainly isn't ashamed of her new romance with singer Charlie Mars." Why should she be? [Page Six]
• Even though Randy and Evi Quaid have paid their bill for their stay at the San Ysidro Ranch, they still face the charges of burglary, conspiracy and defrauding an innkeeper. Court date: October 19. [TMZ]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has a "Pop Life" exhibit, and director McG hooked up with Takashi Murakami for a four-minute film starring actress Kirsten Dunst singing a cover of "Turning Japanese." Click the link for an insanely colorful picture: Kiki's wearing a bright blue wig! [WSJ]
• "A lawyer for John Travolta testified Thursday that he warned a former Bahamas senator she would not get away with an alleged scheme to extort $25 million from the movie star, and even wore a wire to secretly record their conversations." [AP, TMZ]
• No one likes Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Peter Sellars' production ofOthello at NYU's Skirball Canter: Audiences have been leaving in droves at intermission. [Page Six]
• "Michael Moore, champion of the working class, used non-union stagehands to film Capitalism: A Love Story." [Page Six]
• In a video at the link, Mary Forsberg Weiland talks about her memoir, Fall To Pieces: A Memoir Of Drugs, Rock 'N Roll, And Mental Illness. She talks about the modeling world, being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and how she and Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland did heroin and cocaine together. The book contains an anecdote about a Fourth of July party at Leonardo DiCaprio's house in Malibu, where the Weilands arrived in long-sleeved turtlenecks to hide needle tracks and scabs. [Blabbermouth]
• "Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams - even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims." [NY Daily News]
• "John Cleese takes a goose-step backwards with one-man show to fund £12million divorce." [Daily Mail]
• "Fame… It kind of kills the humanity and the humility of music for some reason. You're like this product all of a sudden and you have to stay in this Superman costume with people telling you that if you cut your hair, your career is over." — Maxwell, who no longer rocks the giant Afro he once did. [Washington Post]
• "Women don't like the humor when it's combined with inconsideration and insensitivity." — Larry David, on his dating life. [LA Times]
• "There are people that I want to work with but I'm too intimidated. There are a few people that I'd be worried about working with — the greats: Jack Nicholson, Scorsese and Clint Eastwood. So there are still people out there who intimidate me. I think they would catch me out finally. I've got away with murder until now and they would blow that."— Ricky Gervais. [Mirror]
• "I don't think of myself as a typical comedian. I'm just a normal bloke who says things he observes. I don't even really tell jokes with punch lines. But people seem to connect." — Ricky Gervais. [USA Today]
• "One of the things I like about this movie is that my character, for example, is made up all the time. She always looks cute. So she's cute and covered in tats and willing to punch people while wearing dresses and cute shoes. The merging of that: you can be a strong, rough-and-tumble woman, but still be a woman. All of that can be bundled into one. That's definitely a lesson that I currently have been learning the last couple years myself, so it spoke volumes to me." — Whip It's Zoë Bell. [BoxOffice.com]
• Your name is on fans' dream team list for Ridley Scott's prequel to Alien. "Wouldn't that be awesome!? That absolutely has to happen. There was an article where someone CGIed my head onto Sigourney Weaver's body. It's kind of creepy, but I liked it. I sent it to my people and was like, 'Make this happen!' That'd be so sick! That's the kind of stuff I would like to do. Linda Hamilton in Terminator and Sigourney Weaver in Alien-those are the kind of roles we don't have enough of." — Zoë Bell. [BoxOffice.com]
• "I am a hippie girl with anger issues, I get it…" And: "I was so obsessed with happy endings in my 20s. In my 30s, I'm like, a good day is a good day." And: "I do a very serious, disciplined, mature job. That said, I love to go get plastered with my friends on a Saturday night and let it go, but… I'm up on Monday morning at 6 a.m. and I don't stop for seven days straight." — Drew Barrymore. [The Daily Beast]
• "The bride will fight again!" — Quentin Tarantino says he intends to make Kill Bill 3. [Page Six]
• "I think my acting is offensive!" — Lauren Conrad. [People]
• "I just put on a 'Snuggie' and ate a popsicle." — Miley Cyrus, who has strep throat two weeks before her world tour. [NY Daily News]

According to Republican national committeewoman Christine Torretti, "There are those who are absolutely crazy about [Palin] - they say she's the Jennifer Aniston of the Republican Party. And then there are other people that say, ‘What's this all about? She's airing all of her family dirty laundry.'" But whether they love or hate her, Americans are eagerly anticipating Going Rogue, which she finished just four months after the deal was announced. Harper, an imprint of HarperCollins, has ordered a print run of 1.5 million copies. We're going to give Palin the benefit of the doubt and assume she finished so fast because, as Harper publisher Jonathan Burnham says, she was "investing herself deeply and passionately in this project" — and not just because she wanted to get her homework over with quickly so she could go out and play. Whatever the case, we can't resist speculating about the book content. Below, please find our version of Palin's index — just as real as her political credentials.

Alaska
.... bestness of, 1, 3, 11, 27, 62, 94, 112, 152, 176, 200
.... geographical remoteness of, as explanation for otherwise bizarre/irresponsible actions, 45, 67, 103
.... proximity to Russia, 59
Americans, fake
.... see Couric, Katie; Fey, Tina; Johnston, Levi; reporters
basketball as metaphor for leadership, 47, 48, 96, 132, 167
bears, grizzly,
.... what welfare mothers can learn from them, 117
.... see also, rejected mascots
children
.... as qualification for public office, 145
.... grooming for campaign appearances, 47, 134
.... public discussion of, 5, 27, 83, 111, 192
.... outrage at other people's public discussion of, 6, 28, 84, 112, 193
Couric, Katie
.... how many newspapers does she actually read, anyway, 137
.... lack of intelligence, journalistic integrity as compared to Greta Van Susteren, 43, 79
death panels, and other things my Facebook friends believe in even if the liberal media don't, 39, 46
Fey, Tina
.... inferior attractiveness of, 63
.... plan for getting own show where I make fun of her, 67
fish, dead
.... as rhetorical analogy, 159
.... see also rejected mascots
Johnston, Levi
.... body odor of, 17
.... drug-dealing, trailer-trash family of, 25, 164
.... this one time I saw him pick a booger and eat it, 28
maps
.... see newspapers
moose, dead
.... see rejected mascots
newspapers
.... see salmon, materials for wrapping
oil
.... attractiveness as an outfit for sea birds, 7
.... connection between reduced drilling and complete economic and political collapse of country, 192
.... potential use as baby formula, 66
Palin, Bristol
.... blissful happiness with motherhood, 134
.... role as abstinence spokesperson, 134
.... therapy bills for "cognitive dissonance" problems, 167
.... see also rejected mascots
pit bulls, lipsticked
.... emergency room visits, 12
.... see also, rejected mascots
quitting, underrated merits of, 97, 110, 199
rejected mascots, 197
reporters
.... hatred of babies, troops, real Americans, 97, 126, 183
.... versus grizzly bears in funny animation Todd made, 106
salmon
.... as topic for fluffy profiles by friendly representatives of real-American media outlets, 178
.... materials for wrapping, including New York Times and full text of health care reform legislation, 67
wolves
.... Ashley Judd's dangerous support of, 22
.... shooting from helicopters, 37
.... possible use as mascot, as long as dead, 198

You may notice that the Index only refers to pages above 200. That's because we're betting Sarah Palin decided to quit halfway through, reasoning that she would be a more effective writer working from outside her office. The second half of the book is probably a story of Christian redemption by collaborator Lynn Vincent — or just a bunch of photos of Palin snowmobiling.

Republican Base Still Wild About Sarah Palin [Politico]
Palin's Book, Going Rogue, Will Be Out by Thanksgiving [Newser]
Palin Finishes Memoir, 'Going Rogue,' Out Nov. 17 [AP]
Palin Finishes Memoir; 'Going Rogue' Set For Nov. 17 Release [AP, via Washington Post]

• Julia Roberts is in India shooting Eat, Pray, Love, and security is tight on the film set:

50 local police officers and security officers are guarding Julia; yet kids and villagers are climbing trees and rooftops to get a glimpse of the Hollywood star. [AP]

• Michael Jackson is making money at the box office: This Is It accounted for 71% of all sales yesterday on the ticket site fandango.com. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna might marry boyfriend Jesus Luz, according to reports. She apparently likes how he checks in all the time and understands that she is self-involved — plus, says a source, "the sex is scorching hot." Husband material! [Daily Mail]
• This column claims that Penelope Cruz must be pregnant: She went to an OB/GYN with boyfriend Javier Bardem. Maybe he just tagged along for her Pap smear? [NY Daily News]
• Teri Hatcher, who was a guest on Friday's (canceled) episode of The Tonight Show, says that Conan O'Brien has a concussion: "We did this bit and at the very end, when we ran in to cross the finish line, he slipped as he was crossing the finish line and hit his head… And the thing was, I was in front of him so I didn't see it initially. He didn't get off floor right a way, but then he [seemed] like he recovered and [pulled] it together, and they did an instant replay, and you could really see his head hit the floor. He did go to the hospital and he does have a concussion." [ET]
• Sources say Kanye West has an alcohol problem. "He's been boozing heavily ever since his mother died," an insider says. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kanye West was seen acting "reserved, quiet and humble for once." [Gatecrasher]
• "Roman Polanski's Arrest Could Lead to Extradition."[NY Times]
• "Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland could lead to diplomatic row." [Times Of London]
• "Poland, France seek Polanski's release." [USA Today]
• "France, Poland want Polanski released on bail." [AP]
• "'Outraged' Roman Polanski's wife vows to fight extradition to U.S. after he is arrested over 1977 underage sex charge." [Daily Mail]
• "Roman Polanski is weighing his legal options after his arrest Saturday at the Zurich Airport. If he agrees to allow extradition, he could be sent to the U.S. within a few days. If he fights the order, it could take several months for the case to get through Swiss courts." [Variety]
• Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom on Sunday at a private residence in Beverly Hills. She wore Vera Wang; the flowers were all white; preparation for the nuptials were covered by cameras from E!. [People]
• The wedding will air on E!'s Keeping Up With The Kardashians, in case you weren't clear on that. [NY Daily News]
• Here's the thing: E! agreed to pick up the $1 million tab for Khloe Kardashian's wedding only if it was staged by Sunday — that way it could open the new seaason of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But since Lamar Odom's lawyers didn't have time to do a pre-nup, yesterday's "wedding" may not have been legally binding. [NY Post]
• Padma Lakshmi, 39, is reportedly pregnant with her first child by boyfriend Manu Nathan, 27. [JustJared]
• Clive Owen is a Liverpool football (soccer) fan, and watched a game in a NYC sports bar with other fans, only one of whom asked, "What was it like snogging Julia Roberts?" [The New Yorker]
• Amy Winehouse's father, Mitch, will join the cast of I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here. [Ireland Online]
• Kate Moss: Making music her focus? She has registered as a songwriter and publisher with the Performing Rights Society, where artists can protect any future royalties from their records. [Daily Express]
• Not that Kate Moss isn't modeling — she's totally the G in Paris Vogue. [TheLifeFiles]
• Simon Cowell is about to become the highest-paid star on TV — with his deal to bring X Factor to the U.S. (he'll producer, not appear on the show) — Cowell will make $103 million by next fall. That's more than Oprah, if you don't include her "empire" earnings. [NY Post]
• The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. has checked into rehab; ex-girlfriend Agyness Deyn was seen out with her old flame, Miles Kane, during fashion week. [Daily Mail]
• "[John Travolta's] public acknowledgement that his son, who died in January, was autistic has former Scientologists convinced that he will leave the church-which they say has little tolerance for chronic conditions." [The Daily Beast]
• Rihanna was in Venice for her manager's wedding, and naturally, she posed with and signed an autograph for an Italian monk. He looks incredibly happy. [Daily Mail]
• "Jude Law is refusing to see his newborn daughter until a DNA test proves he is the father, according to new reports." [Daily Express]
• Has Jude Law banned interviewers from asking him about his new daughter? A source says yes, and that's why he didn't talk about it on Regis & Kelly. Jude's rep says "No subjects are banned." [Page Six]
• Jamie Kennedy has reportedly been cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt with his ex-girlfriend, Shannon Funk. Funk was Britney Spears' assistant for a while. [Prz]
• Megan Fox told Nylon magazine that she thinks she's "really overexposed," which may be one of her most astute quotes ever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Andrew Shue and the Today show's Amy Robach: Engaged. [People]
• Paris Hilton drove her new pink Bentley to the launch of a jewelry line, where the organizers offered her a free diamond pendant and she "begged and begged to take the matching earrings, too." Vivica A. Fox was at the same event and refused a free diamond bracelet, saying: "I'll buy it myself from my next paycheck." [Page Six]
• Kristen Bell hearts butterscotch pudding. [People]
• 75-year-old Larry King has been interviewing celebrities since 1985; his contract with CNN is set to expire in 18 months. Should he retire, who would take his place? Ryan Seacrest, Katie Couric and Joy Behar are reported contenders. [Page Six]
• Housewife Bethenny Frankel has been "gradually cutting ties" with the other housewives "since news that she'd get her own show on Bravo broke during the summer months." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Marilyn Manson announced that he has the swine flu, his reps are denying that he is sick, which is just weird. [Gatecrasher]
• Justin Guarini was married over the weekend and the ceremony featured music by Radiohead, Paramore and Peter Gabriel — played by a string quartet. [People]
• Actress/model Angie Everhart denies that British royal Prince Andrew is the father of the baby boy she gave birth to in July. She says: "Just because I've been linked romantically with him in the past it doesn't mean I am still going to bed with him. Whether I am or not is nobody's business but ours… Kayden's daddy is someone who is not in the public eye." [Daily Express]
• This compilation of quotes from Robbie Williams is hilarious. [Guardian]
• "I never tried hard at anything. I was born smart on a very working-class estate. A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting. It's ignorant and it's a tragic waste, and I realised that the work itself is the reward. The struggle itself is the reward." — Ricky Gervais. [Guardian]
• "I knew my character was going to be pregnant the entire first season, so I figured it was a good time to have another kid." — Jenna Elfman, on being pregnant at the same time as her character in her new show Accidentally On Purpose. [USA Today]
• "The one through-line is the big accent and the in-your-face attitude. I'm definitely stereotyped and I'm very OK with that. I get super bored playing bland, normal girls." — Drea de Matteo, on playing a "tough broad" on Desperate Housewives, who sounds a lot like her Sopranos character. [Time]
• "I just passed my driving test. Took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life, I'm legal to drive, so watch out!" — Ozzy Osbourne. [MSNBC]
• "When I asked him what he envisioned, he mentioned Serge and Brigitte, Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra. So for me, I kind of saw it more as 'he said, she said' duets, as opposed to something that was just two people singing together. It's the kind of interplay between a male perspective and a female perspective, so they were a great example of that." — Scarlett Johansson on her duets with Pete Yorn. [NPR]
• "I wish a happy birthday to Sophia Loren, my splendid twin, and I ask her to stop wearing fur — that is the best gift she could offer me." — Brigitte Bardot, who, like Loren, turned 75 this week. [AFP]
• "She doesn't have a penis. She came to my house in her underwear and I saw no hint of a penis. She thought it was appropriate attire. She can get away with it. She knows what she's doing. She ain't no fool. She's brilliant. I think she's a good role model for girls. She plays with sex and makes it unsexy on purpose - so outrageous it's approachable."— Mika, on Lady Gaga. [ONTD via MTV.au]

Though Couric hasn't been able to pull her newscast out of third place, the reports of her upcoming departure from CBS may have been, as she jokes, "greatly exaggerated." Back in April 2007, The Philadelphia Inquirer's Gail Shister wrote, "CBS executives deny it, but there's a growing feeling within the network that Katie Couric is an expensive, unfixable mistake." She also said Couric would probably leave her anchor chair early, perhaps after the 2008 elections. But Couric's still around, and although ratings are disappointing, she says she's staying until her contract runs out in 2011.

Brian Stelter of the Times says Couric is pulling down "some of the lowest ratings in the newscast's history" — 5-6 million viewers a night, compared to NBC's 8 million. But rather than a "mistake," CBS may now view Couric as a star who has hit her stride. Her election coverage, including her famous interviews of Sarah Palin, helped make up for a rocky start, and journalism professor Paul Janensch says, "The program seems settled and Couric seems confident. As a result, the questions have subsided, and reviews of her performance are far more positive." Her executive producer Rick Kaplan concurs, saying, "There's a growing admiration for our anchor and respect for our broadcast, and that is worth a lot. Until the ratings catch up with our expectations, that really goes a long way toward making it O.K."

But what Couric really wants to do is interview. She said she originally signed on for a more interview-focused newscast at CBS. When viewers didn't like the new format, she was forced to look for other avenues. One of these is apparently Glamour, where she'll be doing a monthly interview column starting in December. Her first subject is Michelle Obama. As fun as it is to hear more about Michelle, we're betting the Glamour column will be pretty soft. Couric has been affiliated with magazine's Women of the Year program, and it seems probable that her column will focus more on the achievements of prominent women than on particularly critical journalism.

Her new web series, @katiecouric, may be a different story. According to CBS, "The webcasts will feature Katie's candid and incisive one-on-one interviews with high-profile guests ranging from politicians and celebrities to business titans and other top newsmakers." Coming up Tuesday night: Glenn Beck. Maybe Couric will give him the Palin treatment.

Couric says she doesn't know what she'll do when her CBS Evening News contract expires, but these new ventures may offer a clue. The failure of her efforts to revamp her newscast (the Times mentions her unpopular "Hi everyone" greeting) may say less about her and more about evening news viewers — they like what they know. But the days when lots of people want, as Joshua Alston wrote, "to have the day's stories read to them in a grave voice," are probably numbered. The big get, a celebrity interviewer sparring with a celebrity interviewee, may be changing form — I'm sure I'm not the only one who first saw Couric's Palin interviews on YouTube. But Couric, in producing her new interview show for the Web, seems to understand this. She understands, too, that one of her greatest strengths is talking directly to people — and she'll likely continue to do this regardless of the medium.

Doubts Fade And Couric Is Energized [NYT]
Memo Pad: Duty Calls... Michelle Obama In Glamour... Across The Twitter-Verse [Women's Wear Daily]
Katie Couric Debuts New Web Show [CBS]

David Hinckley of the New York Daily News gives the media a great big pat on the back for treating Diane Sawyer's upcoming replacement of Charlie Gibson at ABC's World News Tonight "as a news story, not a woman story." He writes,

In matters of gender as in matters of race, the mark of progress is when it's no longer news that a black man plays Major League Baseball or a woman anchors the ABC evening newscast.

So not-news that heads are already talking about whether Sawyer has more or less womanly softness than existing lady-anchor Katie Couric. Ex-ABC correspondent Judy Muller tells the LA Times,

That there was so much emphasis on Katie as the first woman will lessen the scrutiny on Diane, but it still will be there, because Diane has become associated with softer human interest features. Will she have that credibility for anchoring the big events of our lives? If there's one criticism out there, it's that she veers into sentimentality more than other anchors might.

So not-news at Connie Chung is already bristling at the Couric comparisons. She tells TV Newser's Gail Shister that all those predicting a "cat fight" "need to get a life." She also says, "The question should be, 'How will Diane do against Brian [Williams] and Katie?'"

So not-news that the Daily Beast's Rebecca Dana is already calling Sawyer's ascension "the revival of TV news' most delicious rivalry" — between the longtime GMA host and "Couric, who is gamely hanging on as the anchor of the CBS Evening News, is all smiles and warmth and live colonoscopies to Sawyer's dignified cool." No mention of "Brian [Williams]." Does that count as predicting a cat fight?

And so not-news that former ABC and NBC exec Richard Wald says, "You're going to have, for the first time ever, two women competing as solo anchors in a television framework that just - within living memory - sort of destroyed every woman who tried to do it." Sounds like a fun gig, doesn't it?

Sawyer doesn't just have to contend with veiled sexism, overt sexism, the assertion that there is no sexism anymore, and the burden of proving that a woman can anchor the nightly news without getting shitty ratings. She'll have to do all this from an anchor chair that's starting to seem a little like an old paisley couch someone left out on the street. Dana puts it, um, nicely:

It's not the prize it once was, but it's hers: anchor of World News, the once towering, now considerably diminished evening broadcast, which, like its competitors on NBC and CBS, keeps soldiering on in the face of looming irrelevance.

Sweet — looming irrelevance! Time's James Poniewozik thinks it'll be interesting to see how Sawyer's ratings stack up against Couric's, but only insofar as "there are interesting things about the network evening news, which is probably not much the case any more."

Connie Chung says, "I'm sorry this didn't happen earlier, when network news was a lot more dominant." But could it have? Or is the nightly news something women are allowed to dominate only once it's already become unimportant? Bonnie Erbe of US News & World Report says, "I never thought I'd live to see the day when the network newscasts became a pink collar ghetto," and the word "ghetto" may be sadly accurate. With network news drooping in the face of cable and the Internet, maybe women only get to be in charge because it's no fun anymore.

Or maybe that's too pessimistic. The influence of female bloggers is much-lauded and growing, and it's possible that the famed democracy of the Internet is giving women a chance to influence public opinion in a way newscasters no longer can. Joshua Alston of Newsweek says, "people watch the nightly news in order to have the day's stories read to them in a grave voice. That's all." It's a pretty simplistic description of what, for Sawyer, will no doubt be a complex and potentially rewarding job. But at the same time, there's a grain of truth to it — and in an age when "the day's stories" are coming at us 24/7 in a variety of voices both spoken and printed, maybe there's more room for diversity after all.

Diane Sawyer To Anchor 'World News': 'Another Nail In The Coffin Of The Old Boys' Network' [Mediabistro]
Diane Sawyer Anchors Her Status On ABC [LA Times]
The ABC's Of Diane's Deal [The Daily Beast]
At ABC, An Anchor Shift; For TV, An Image Shift [NYT]
Diane Sawyer Replaces Charles Gibson But Nightly News Is Now A Pink Collar Ghetto [US News & World Report]
Why Sawyer Will Be Better Than Couric [Newser]
As Diane Sawyer Replaces Charlie Gibson, The Real Story Is That Gender Isn't The Story [New York Daily News]
Sawyer to Replace Gibson; Let Oppressed-White-Male Rhetoric Begin [Time]
Why Diane Sawyer Will Be Better Than Katie Couric [Newsweek]

So far, coverage of the switchover has been pretty staid — and to be sure, Couric is calling Sawyer "one of the hardest-working people" she knows. But New York Magazine was calling Sawyer and Katie Couric "arch-rivals" back in 2007 (when Sawyer had just lost a bid to anchor Word News Tonight), and the New York Observer even opined that Sawyer was considered for Couric's job at CBS. And not one but two major publications called Sawyer and Couric's 2005 competition for morning-show ratings a "duel at sunrise." It's just a matter of time before the "duel at sundown" stories start rolling in. The Columbia Journalism Review already has some Couric-inspired wardrobe advice for Sawyer. We'll start there with our predictions to help you bet on the knockdown, drag-out bikini-mud-wrestling showdown the nightly news is sure to become.

Katie Couric wore white on her first CBS newscast — a day after Labor Day. And her blazer was supposedly "buttoned in such a way as to make her look chubby." The horror!

Diane Sawyer hasn't worn anything on World News Tonight — yet.

Advantage: Sawyer (for now)

Diane Sawyer is supposedly drunk in this clip from the morning of the Inauguration.

But Katie Couric was getting hopped up on cold medicine (again, supposedly) as early as the New Hampshire primary.

Advantage: Couric, we guess

Katie Couric is famous for her "shapely legs."

Diane Sawyer also has legs. Who knew?

Advantage: only a leg-wrestling match can determine this

Diane Sawyer made Vanity Fair's "New Establishment" Hall of Fame.

Katie Couric didn't. But that's okay, because that old establishment magazine, the New Yorker, called her "darn likable."

Diane Sawyer has interviewed Mel Gibson, Saddam Hussein, and Michael Jackson.

Katie Couric talked to Bill and Hillary Clinton, J.K. Rowling, and Tony Blair. And she got Sarah Palin to reveal that she doesn't know the names of any newspapers.

Advantage: probably Sawyer, but the Palin spots bring Couric darn close

Katie Couric's not doing so well in the ratings these days.

Diane Sawyer's Good Morning America is still second among network morning shows, but Sawyer did get big ratings for a February 20/20 special — on Appalachian poverty, not exactly a well-known crowd-pleaser.

Advantage: Sawyer

Katie Couric was nicknamed "America's Sweetheart."

Diane Sawyer "has been called the Ice Queen."

Advantage: unclear, but certainly not Couric, Sawyer, women, or journalism

Verdict: Neither Couric nor Sawyer is a safe bet in the upcoming Queen-vs.-Sweetheart media-generated catfight. But if you wager that upcoming coverage of their "battle" will include the words "legs," "gravitas," and "diva," you'll probably make some bank.

Diane Sawyer Will Take Over ABC's World News Tonight Anchor Chair [Gawker]
Advice For Diane Sawyer [Columbia Journalism Review]
Diane Sawyer To Anchor ABC Newscast [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
Couric On Sawyer: 'One Of The Hardest-Working People I Know' [Politico]

[Clip via CBS News]

• Harry Potter starRupert Grint recently came down with a "mild" case of the swine flu, but has since recovered, thanks to a quick healing potion whipped up by Professor Snape a few days of rest.

• "It has just been confirmed that Rupert Grint has taken a few days out of filming due to a mild bout of swine flu," says Grint's rep, "He has now recovered and is looking forward to joining his fellow cast members at the junket and premieres this week and will then return to filming directly afterwards." The Scourgify charm was then placed on the entire set to ensure that no one else would come down with the illness. You probably don't believe that last bit. Pfft. Muggles. [People]
• Meanwhile, Grint's castmate, Daniel Radcliffe is coming to terms with being Harry Potter: "I would like to think I haven't been influenced by him too much just by playing him for so long. I am thrilled to have this in my life, but it is separate from my life, you know? It's nice to be called Dan. And actually I started correcting people now. You do feel like a bit of an idiot doing that, but at the same time, in the long run it is better for us. I know it's better for me." [LA Times]
• And as for Radcliffe dating Emma Watson? "I'm sorry guys, it's not happening. It's just not. There's something really incestuous about the idea of it."[ShowbizSpy]
• D'oh! Brad Pitt had to be rescued by paparazzi after his motorcycle broke down during one of his rides around L.A. [DailyMail]
• In an example of when keepin' it real goes wrong, Courtney Love trashed a hotel room in true rock star fashion, causing over $5000 in damage and leaving "dirty needles and used feminine hygiene products behind." Yikes. [PageSix]
• Prince will be playing the Montreux Jazz Festival on July 18: tickets are $180 to stand and $443 dollars to sit. No word yet on if you'll get tickets just by singing "but all I can do is just offer you my looooove." [Reuters]
• Allen Klein, who managed such high profile acts as Sam Cooke, The Beatles, and the Rolling Stones, has died at the age of 77. [EW]
• "I've found throughout my career, that sometimes when you share things like that, that you've gone through, it can be very inspirational to other people. And there's times when people inspire me. When there's disillusion about the business, or certain things. Someone says because of you, my daughter loves her body now, and she's a big girl and she looks at you and she says she can do it because you do it. And those stories make me feel good about myself. It makes me not afraid to share certain things."- Queen Latifah [LA Times]
• Pauly Shore is reportedly considering suing Sacha Baron Cohen for "stealing" his idea of "of adopting an African baby as a plot device." [Shakesville]
• Alec Baldwin says he's been urged by an Ohio law firm to consider relocating to the state and running for governor. [UPI]
• "Obviously we have very different personalities - he was a lot more shy than I am. That's because I was allowed to have a normal childhood and he wasn't, so there was a vulnerable side to him that made you want to take care of him and protect him. He was a real paradox, one of the world's greatest performers and obviously very confident on stage, but in real life he was very shy and you really felt for him."-Madonna on Michael Jackson [ShowbizSpy]
• Madonna played tribute to Jackson last night by having an impersonator join her on stage at London's O2 Arena to perform some of Jackson's most famous dance moves and telling the crowd, "Let's give it up for one of the greatest artists the world has ever known." [AP]
• A reader has sent in a clip of the Madonna performance; you can view it here. [YouTube]
• Stevie Wonder plans to sing at Jackson's memorial service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on Tuesday. [Mirror]
• Jackson will be buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery on Tuesday; his body will be laid to rest without his brain, which will be studied by a forensic neuropathologist in order to provide more clues on what, exactly, led to his death. [Mirror]
• "I just wanted to hear him deal with a romantic relationship with a human being rather than a rat. I'm saying that facetiously, but it's true. I saw him at the Oscars very emotional about "Ben." I wanted to hear him get in touch with a real human relationship. "She's Out of My Life" was written by Tommy Bahler from a very bad ending to a marriage. So it was very real. I was saving it for Sinatra. But I gave it to Michael. And Michael cried during every take, and I left the tears in."- Quincy Jones on Michael Jackson [Details]
• Ian Barkley, Jackson's personal photographer, says that Grace Rwaramba, former nanny to Jackson's children, was also "Jackson's secret girlfriend." [Mirror]
• Barkley also claims that Jackson was an "extremely protective" father: "His kids totally love their dad and he was extremely protective over them. Even when we were just around his staff, he was protective. We would babyproof everywhere, like really expensive suites. They would tape up every corner with cardboard and make sure the kids couldn't hurt themselves, and they were very strict on what the kids would eat to make sure they didn't have allergies." [E!]
• Jackson had a cancerous lesion removed from his nose just days before he passed away. [USWeekly]
• "We seemed to spend most of the time playing around and having a laugh. He became very friendly with my family and we had lots of great times. Although we drifted apart in later years, I will always remember fondly the fun we had working and playing together. My family and I send our deepest condolences to his family. We know that his great talent will never be forgotten." -Paul McCartney on Michael Jackson [TheSun]
• Over 1.2 million people have registered in order to obtain tickets to Jackson's memorial service; only 17,500 tickets are actually available. [Reuters]
• Major television networks, including ABC, CNN, and MSNBC, plan to run live coverage of Jackson's memorial service, starting Tuesday morning at 10am PDT. [Yahoo]
• Matt Damon, who handed off his "Sexiest Man Alive" title to Hugh Jackman, says he hopes Jackman wins again this year: "Maybe he can be the first to do it back-to-back. I'll start campaigning for that." [People]
• Azharuddin Ismail, who played Salim in Slumdog Millionaire, has finally moved into a new home thanks to the Jai Ho Trust, a fund set up by the film's producers. Ismail's earlier home, "a tarpaulin and sheet hut" was demolished in May. [Reuters]
• After 10 years together, David and Victoria Beckham have been named "the perfect married couple" in a survey taken by Wedding TV. [Telegraph]
• Mia Michaels, the choreographer who is helping Katie Holmes prepare her charity performance on So You Think You Can Dance says Holmes is a "brilliant" dancer. "She's really blossoming into a gorgeous triple-threat star," Michaels says. [People]
• Blind Item: "This male Celebrity Musician has an addiction. It's not what you think. Not drugs, or sex or even rock'n'roll, no, his addiction is to the internet. That's right, this Celeb is probably part of your online community. He loves celeb gossip, loves computer games, and even allegedly writes some steamy fan fic! The guy is online all the time, reading what you write, reading about himself and his loved ones, reading about his enemies and posting comments and pics, just like us!" [BlindGossip]
• Seth MacFarlane entertained 600 guests at his housewarming party by performing a medley in front of a 45-piece orchestra, garnering "polite applause" from his audience. [Page Six]
• "I am very flattered my gay friends enjoy my work. Gay, straight, I'll take anybody at this point, hermaphrodites."- Katie Couric [PageSix]

She seemed a little nervous, but then again, so did Letterman… he'd just finished apologizing for making inappropriate jokes about Sarah Pailn's daughter. Anyway, Kathy made little jabs at "National Treasure" Dr. Maya Angelou, "scrappy" Katie Couric, and Governor Palin. Clip at left.

• 15 years ago, Thomas Howard Price beat his wife, Heather Thompson, with a broom handle and pliers, leaving her permanently disabled. 10 years later, Price wrote Thompson a letter from prison in which he threatened to kill her and their children as soon as he was free. Price was released last Friday. • An awesome woman from New Hampshire celebrated her 100th birthday this week with a ride on a Harley. Alice King has been a biking enthusiast since 1927, and for her 100th, her family surprised her with a motorcycle ride. • Last summer, professor Anne York published a study that showed the difference in ambitions of high school valedictorians as broken down by gender. She found that girls were less likely to shoot for high paying jobs, and that many were already concerned with the family/work balance. New York Times blog The Choice revisits the findings, and asks for reader input. • A recent study found that semen "quality" (reproductive capacity) is adversely effected by low antioxidant intake. •  Thanks to Obama (and the failing economy), the Peace Corps has seen a serious increase in the number of applicants this year. • The achievement gap between women and men in math and science has narrowed to the vanishing point, according to a recent study. However, women are still underrepresented in Ph.D. applicant pools. • Police in Northumbria are searching for an escaped wallaby named Hopper. They ask that anyone who has spotted the wallaby to contact them asap. • According to a new study, men don't give a shit about women's health. A Florida State University study found that informing men about the potential medical benefits of the HPV vaccine for their sexual partners did not influence their decision about whether or not to receive the shots. • New guidelines to be published in July aim to aid doctors in identifying bleeding disorders in women. •  In a recent report, the Anti-Defamation League says that the number of anti-Semitic incidents in the U.S. has declined for the fourth consecutive year. • American journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee are set to go on trial for "hostile acts" in North Korea this Thursday. If convicted, they could face up to 10 years in forced labor camps. •  25 years ago, Alexey Pajitnov, who was then working for the Soviet Academy of Sciences in Moscow, created Tetris. Want to celebrate? You can: watch some cheesy ads, learn about the future of Tetris, read about Pajitnov's World of Warcraft habit, or just go play the game. •