• Could Michael Lohan go to jail for the phone calls he's been leaking?

Apparently Dina Lohan has had a protective order since 2005 — and it bans Michael Lohan from communicating with Dina by email or phone through 2011. One of the calls is supposedly from 2008, meaning Michael definitely violated the order. [TMZ]

• A "source" on Nicole Kidman's face at the Country Music Awards: "She looked freakish; She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dating! Director Catherine Hardwicke says so! But she says: "It didn't happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film," since KStew was 18. Now that she's 19, it's on! TWILIGHT IS REAL ZOMG SPARKLEVAMP 4EVA BITE ME. [Us]
• Because he is awesome, Johnny Depp has offered to take care of Nicolas Cage's debts. Apparently Johnny was a struggling musician when he met Nic in the '80s, and Nic sent Johnny to his agent, who cast Johnny in Nightmare On Elm Street. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston had his Playgirl shoot yesterday, which involved a hockey stick and, naturally, nudity. Levi's manager Tank Jones says: "The shoot was fantastic! People are going to see more of Levi than they thought." Grrrreat. There's another shoot today; may we suggest a moose-skin rug? Or an igloo? [Us]
• Levi Johnston says he sees his upcoming memoir becoming a movie. "I would play myself," he says, naturally. [Gatecrasher]
• As previously mentioned, Chris Brown went to a Footaction store on Wednesday, and was heckled. A woman shouted, "I hope someone beats the fucking shit out of you!" Today Chris will be on Wendy Williams saying he's been "perceived wrong" and I'm definitely remorseful, and it's not something that I take lightly or think that it's, like, under the rug." [Page Six]
• Before the Country Music Awards, Wynonna Judd said Taylor Swift's nomination for Entertainer Of The Year was "too much too soon… I want kids to earn it." But now she says: "My intent was not to take anything from her talent and contributions to the country music industry… Taylor is a beautiful, hard working young woman that deserves the success she has had and I support her as an artist and as a woman in the business." Sure, sure. [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen has hurt her foot after falling while carrying a suitcase down a flight of stairs. [The Sun]
• DVR alert: Kathy Griffin will be on Law & Order SVU. [TV Guide]
• Balloon Dad Richard Heene turned himself in yesterday and was released on a $5000 bond. [ET]
• Richard Heene will plead guilty to felony charges, his lawyer claims. Mayumi Heene will plead guilty to false reporting to authorities — a misdemeanor. Is there a law against making everyone worry? [NY Post]
• Amy Winehouse is working with a Miami-based producer on her third record, but her visa issues keep her from traveling. [The Sun]
• If you would like to see a mug shot of Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, click the link. He's a former model who took a photograph he found in Cindy's nanny's room, and the pic shows Cindy's daughter bound and gagged for a "prank." [TMZ]
• Nadya Suleman would like for you to know that she is a competent mother. [Us]
• Some guy is auctioning off Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage certificate from when they tied the knot in the Dominican Republic in 1994. The names Jackson + Presley = ca$h. [Perez]
• 20-year-old Daniel Radcliffe smoked pot and a party and it is "news." [Mirror]
• Geena Davis has gained weight and it is "news." [NY Daily News]
• Whoa — Emmy Rossum met Adam Duritz via Twitter? [People]
• BREAKING: Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent are no longer pissed at each other. [Page Six]
• Rumors abounded but now it's official: Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are expecting their first child. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, David Beckham talks about playing with the LA Galaxy today, which means missing an England vs. Brazil game. [Guardian]
• Lil' Kim is being sued for $20,000 by British club promoters who claim she accepted money but then did not appear at an event, saying she had a nosebleed. No, really. [NY Post]
• Aerosmith's management reportedly asked Steven Tyler to perform in a wheelchair. "I just wouldn't do it," Tyler told Rolling Stone. Not even if you were contractually obligated to do the gig and hurt yourself acting crazy on stage? Hmm. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Tori Amos' fantasy band would have Janis Joplin on vocals, Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, Bootsy Collins on bass and Zeppelin's John Bonham on drums. [Independent]
• In "10 Questions For Tony Hawk," the skateboarder says: "I don't want to name names. I'm just saying many Olympic sports require less physical effort and less talent than skateboarding." [Time]
• Chris Mann wrote the Three's Company tell-all book Come and Knock on Our Door, and served as consulting producer on NBC's behind-the-scenes movie about Company. On his blog, he writes that before John Ritter died, he was asked about Suzanne Somers' supposed breast cancer, and Ritter said: "We don't know if Suzanne has cancer or not, because she lies." [Retroality.tv]
• Jon & Kate is being replaced by Cake Boss, a show that seems super scripted but still pretty funny. And unlike those weird "challenge" cake shows, the cakes actually look edible and delicious. [NY Post]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor has tax problems. Will she have to move to the country and live on a farm with a pig named Arnold? Oh wait. That was Eva. Anyway, Bernard Madoff is to blame for this. [TMZ]
• Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009 airs December 19, and will feature the best holiday sketches from the show's 35-year history. [NY Post]
• TMZ lifted images from Radar Online. [Page Six]
• The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit, with Josh Brolin instead of John Wayne. [NY Daily News]
• "Look, I really am the last British actor who's not in any of the Harry Potter films. I was looking for something I could do that would make me cool in the eyes of my daughter." — Michael Sheen, of Frost/Nixon and, more importantly, New Moon. He also says: "I had to say to my daughter, 'I heard someone talking about this character Aro in these books. Do you know anything about that?' And she said, 'Yes, he's the leader of the Volturi and he reads people's minds. Are you playing him?' Of course I said, 'no, no, no'. When it was all worked out, she cried. Then she hit me." [Independent]
• It feels weird to do interviews because I don't understand why anyone wants to talk to me. There were all these other guys in high school that were bigger, funnier, and more handsome than I was, so why do you care about what I have to say? You should ask them." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I'm not aware of any fans. I do nothing to live in secrecy, but I really don't get recognized anywhere. Though I was walking my dog recently when someone yelled, 'Hey, Jason!' They said it so sweetly that I turned around and said, 'Hey!' Then they said, 'Fuck you, you asshole!' and drove away." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I had friends growing up, but I struggled to feel like I really fit in. If I was invited to a party, I would just end up sitting on a couch or standing in a corner by myself. But it wasn't like I was getting beat up or anything. I wish I had gotten beaten up, because at least that would've justified why I felt so homesick all the time, even though I was home." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "Susan Boyle is a lovely gracious woman, and I took advantage of that by poking fun at her." — Sharon Osboune, who, a week ago, said SuBo looked like she'd been hit by a "fucking ugly stick." [NY Post]
• We were disappointed, but we understand. He's only 1. But we were in Alaska and have plenty of footage of Trig." — Barbara Walters wanted to have Sarah Palin's grandson Trig in the studio, but he has a cold and couldn't make it. [Page Six]
• "It's disgusting that people would say those things. My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady. There's gonna be a time when I'm way curvier, and that'll be sexy, too." — Ashlee Simpson is tired of people calling Jessica Simpson fat. Ashlee also says her husband loves her body:"Pete isn't worried about stretch marks," she says. "He always makes me feel good." [Gatecrasher]
• "I have half-a-dozen close friends and Mariah is among the dearest. I flatter myself that the relationship is reciprocal: Mariah and I share a strong, sisterly friendship. She signs off all her letters to me with the affectionate endearment: 'Your sis, M.' Though she is stupendously rich and I am relatively poor, it is a friendship of equals. She visits me in my small home; I am a frequent guest at her various mansions and holiday villas all over the world." — from a piece written by a former MTV host who stayed friends with Mariah Carey after meeting her through work. [Daily Mail]
• "There are so many young girls wearing too much makeup, too much hairspray — I find that very dated." — Victoria Beckham. [Gatecrasher via Harper's Bazaar UK]

• In an exclusive interview with Glamour, Rihanna discusses the year she's had: "I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears." She also talks about the picture released by cops:

"It was humiliating; that is not a photo you would show to anybody. I felt completely taken advantage of. I felt like people were making it into a fun topic on the Internet, and it's my life. I was disappointed, especially when I found out the photo was [supposedly leaked by] two women." She adds: "Domestic violence is a big secret. No kid goes around and lets people know their parents fight. Teenage girls can't tell their parents that their boyfriend beat them up. You don't dare let your neighbor know that you fight. It's one of the things we [women] will hide, because it's embarrassing. My story was broadcast all over the world for people to see, and they have followed every step of my recovery. The positive thing that has come out of my situation is that people can learn from that. I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn't heard. Now I can help speak for those women." [Glamour]

• Rihanna also sat down with Diane Sawyer, for an interview which will air Thursday on Good Morning America. This happened to me. … It can happen to anyone," she says. And she admits that Chris Brown was "definitely" her "first big love." [People, Extra, ET]
• Mariah Carey and Rihanna refused to talk or be photographed together at a Halloween party; yet Mariah's rep insists that MC "loves" Rihanna and would have said hello. [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie and Shiloh shopped for Stella McCartney's new kids' line at the Gap in Santa Monica yesterday. A source says she "purchased two complete outfits right off the mannequins, head to toe, the shoes and everything. Then she bought a couple Junk Food t-shirts — one with a Superman emblem — and a bunch of Gap watches for all the kids. She probably spent close to $500." [Radar Online]
• Tyra Banks has lost 30 lbs. since her "Kiss My Fat Ass" incident in early 2007. She used to get awful stomachaches, and says: "I switched up my unhealthy eating habits for healthier eating habits, and I haven't had a tummy attack since December '08." And: "I feel good about my curves and my imperfections – my booty, my boobs, my thighs – I embrace it all. Now I really can say … kiss my fat – and still fat – ass." [People]
• A source says Gerard Butler did not hook up with Lindsay Lohan, despite that that was reported yesterday: "He's a fun, good-looking guy, and every time he even gets close to an actress, people assume something. He has no interest in Lindsay." [Gatecrasher]
• Gisele Bundchen passed the written exam to get her pilot's license. She's a month from her due date to give birth and the president of the aviation company says: "She's almost to a point where she's too big to be flying. She needs to be able to move the rudder around and she's getting there." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Gosselin believes her eight kids are "starting to show signs of stress and behavioral changes." [NY Daily News]
• Ooh, another Britloid caught in a lie! "Kate Winslet accepted £25,000 libel damages today after an 'offensive' claim in the Daily Mail that she had publicly lied about her exercise regime." [Guardian]
• President Barack Obama's Committee on the Arts and Humanities has a gaggle of bold-faced names: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kerry Washington, Alfre Woodard, Edward Norton, Forest Whitaker, Teresa Heinz (yes, John Kerry's wife), Anna Wintour and Yo Yo Ma. According to Politico, "The committee works with the National Endowment for the Arts, the National Endowment for the Humanities and the Institute of Museum and Library Services to coordinate the administration's arts initiatives." [Politico]
• Kathy Griffin will host Let's Dance, a new ABC show in which celebrities reenact famous dance routines from pop culture. Prediction: "Single Ladies" will be on the menu. Hopefully so will any number from Flashdance. [The Wrap]
• Owen Wilson has signed on to do the voice of Marmaduke in a live action/CGI movie based on the comic strip. I want to hear the dog say: "Me and my friends have been too busy bathing off the southern coast of St. Barts with spider monkeys for the past two weeks. Tripping on acid changed our whole perspective on shit." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Drama involving Men Who Stare At Goats: "Jon Ronson, a journalist whose work inspired the film, credited his one-time best friend and film maker John Sergeant in the pages of his book. However, Sergeant claims to have been "airbrushed out" of the film adaptation and has aired his grievances about the snub in a letter to George Clooney." [Telegraph]
• Jude Law: Seen making out with a "hot blonde." [Page Six]
• A California appeals court has set a date to hear arguments in the Roman Polanski case: December 10. [AP]
• Courtney Love says she moved to New York because of "raids" on her home; a source says the visits were actually attempts by her drug counselor to stage an intervention. [Page Six]
• Kiefer Sutherland racked up a $700 bar tab between 7am and 1pm. (San Pedro) California… knows how to party! Keep it rockin… [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton saw her ex, Brandon Davis, at a party and spent the night avoiding him. Stars! Just like us. [Page Six]
• "Reports of a Halloween bust-up between Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt have been 'grossly misrepresented,' a rep for the socialite said." [Mirror]
• Jordin Sparks and Always brand feminine products are hosting "America's Biggest Sleepover" online on November 7. I don't get it, but there it is. [BrandWeek]
• Stephanie Seymour is getting divorced from husband Peter Brant and will get $270,000 a month. [Page Six]
• MSNBC columnist Courtney Hazlett actually read Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's new book, which she calls "America at its worst." The chapter titled "Women's Weapons of Mass Destruction" has Heidi writing: "A crying woman trumps all things … let's pretend for one second you MIGHT be wrong in an argument one day. Just go to the waterworks and all is forgiven, isn't it? … Even the most hardened villainess can break people down with puppy-dog eyes and a few tears." Hazlett responds: "Hey Heidi, quick question: Why did you have to lump an entire gender into your scurrilous web of fame whoring tactics? I shudder to think, and do doubt, that a vapid essay about the upside of emotional exploitation could do anything to really move the needle on that front but nonetheless, it's counterproductive to continue to perpetrate such ideas. Women work hard enough to be taken seriously, this does no good." [MSNBC Scoop]
• For the last two months, six of the top 10 songs on Apple's music site have been from Glee. In this review the soundtrack gets four out of five stars. [NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell's mom thinks he should marry his ex, Terri Seymour, and this is news. She told some magazine: "Terri loved Simon purely for the person he is, unlike some of the others. She was my favourite, but sadly Simon is married to his work!" [The Sun]
• This Nas vs. Kelis stuff is still going on! He's trying to block her from getting spousal support… and he's also asking for joint custody. [TMZ]
• Jeremy Piven stopped drinking soy milk: "I've found out [it] has enough estrogen for me to grow breasts." [Gatecrasher]
• Mel Gibson's divorce = selling off of his production company. [Showbiz 411]
• ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons took the subway to his gig at Wembley Stadium and found that he was riding with ZZ Top fans on their way to the concert. He says: "Being the consummate tourist, I wanted to ride the Tube… It's a only a block from the hotel down to the station. There was a guy on the route that was checking me out and it was getting a little edgy, and then I realised that he was looking at a ZZ Top concert ticket for the Wembley show. I may [do it again] in the future... I beat my partners by 45 minutes." [BBC News]
• At the link, Carly Simon talks about her new album. As for her previous album — which was released by Starbucks right before the company scaled back its involvement in music — she says: "My record was basically an abortion. I was in a really bad funk, because I had put so much of myself into the record." [Reuters]
• Flight Of The Conchords' Jemaine Clement is in a new film, which he says he enjoys: "Things like Gentlemen Broncos are even more fun, because someone's already thought of all that stuff, and I just slip into it and try to realize their idea." [Reuters]
• "'Action hero' is not something I thought I'd have the chance to do. I mean, I'm 39 years old! I thought at this point, I'd be sinking into oblivion." — Elizabeth Mitchell, of Lost, and now V. [LA Times]
• "It was the first time that anyone has ever died that's close to me — it's a universal feeling that anyone feels, shock, sadness… I do feel really proud, I feel like it was such an impossibly difficult thing they were faced with trying to finish and I feel very proud that they did manage to finish it. Heath was an extraordinary person and you get to see it now." — Lily Cole, who stars with Heath Ledger in The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus. [Mirror]
• "Starting the SNL process… I kinda feel like I might have a heart attack or pass out in the pitch meeting. I'm that excited." — Taylor Swift, via Twitter. [People]
• "I was particularly upset to be accused of lying about my exercise regime and felt that I had a responsibility to request an apology in order to demonstrate my commitment to the views that I have always expressed about body issues, including diet and exercise. I strongly believe that women should be encouraged to accept themselves as they are, so to suggest that I was lying was an unacceptable accusation of hypocrisy." — Kate Winslet. [Guardian]
• "When I was younger, I was much more careful about choosing my roles. I was nervous. Hollywood in the '80s was a horrible place. Now that I feel less stressed, I can take more risks… There are some really shocking things in Antichrist. They are important and they are part of the film, but they are not the film. It's like with The Crying Game. Everything hung on those two seconds, but there was so much more to the story than that. I hope Lars hasn't shot himself in the foot by being provocative." — Willem Dafoe, who is a rat in The Fantastic Mr. Fox, a creature of the night in The Vampire's Assistant as well as a man who gets his genitals mutilated in Antichrist. Also, click to see a great portrait of Dafoe — dig the flower behind the ear! [BlackBook]
• "She needs to sell records because she's not a singer, and that's not an offense to her because I think that she knows that too. I think she's a performer and she's more of a personality than she is a singer. But I think when musicians are really making real music people come to the show and that's what we make our money from, from playing live. And I think it's probably harder for an artist like Lily and any other pop acts. It's really about the track and about their personality and their celebrity and that's how they make their money is selling those records. So the downloads — she's not going to win that fight. None of us will win that fight. So let's just accept it and let's see it as something that can be beautiful and it might change music for the better. It might sort the weeds from the flowers. Who said that musicians have to be millionaires? Who made this a rule? We don't need that much money. We just don't. We only need enough to make music and to eat and to go on tour." — Joss Stone on Lily Allen. [MIrror]
• "I am going to go to court to get a legal conservatorship to get Lindsay into rehab and finally get her off all the prescription meds. [Wife] Dina is going to sit down with me and the lawyers and make things right for Lindsay. She is taking Adderol, Xanax, Paxil. She's a beautiful girl but she looks 100 years old." — Michael Lohan on daughter Lindsay. [Page Six]

[Image via Glamour]

I love how earnest Hailey is when she calls—her now ex-boyfriend—Jon "talentless." And she says she tells him that all the time!


In this clip, Hailey talks about run-ins with weed and potted plants.


Earlier in the week, Kathy had lunch with Kate Gosselin, which she spoke about on the show. Lara Spencer is the one that shines here though, when she refers to Hailey as "this one."

Kathy will be back on The Insider tonight to "face off" with Levi Johnston.

• Miley Cyrus will indeed be in Sex And The City 2:

The teen queen will have a scene with Kim Cattrall: Samantha Jones wants to look "hot and young" and winds up on the red carpet with Miley — wearing the same dress. Hilarious? [NY Daily News]

• Rumors that Johnny Depp will be replaced in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie: "Completely unfounded," says a Disney spokesperson. [Mirror]
• Just yesterday, Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman was on the Gosselin family website. Today? She's been deleted. [RadarOnline]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding: A circus. A guest says: There were so many helicopters overhead, you couldn't hear the vows." Ok! magazine made a $250,000 deal for "exclusive" wedding pix, so when paparazzi pictures of the bride popped up on Sunday, the mag had to spend $50,000 on the shots to keep them off the market. As you may know, E! paid for the wedding, after insisting that it be held immediately so it could be on the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. [Page Six]
• Ryan Seacrest is thinking about doing a reality show focusing on Khloe and Lamar as newlyweds. It worked out so well for Nick and Jessica! [NY Daily News]
• In other Kardashian news, Kim Kardashian is back together with Reggie Bush. Professional athletes for everyone! [NY Daily News]
• A second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan burglary has turned herself in. [NY Daily News]
• Should Kanye West go to rehab as an apology for his MTV VMA incident? Columnist Courtney Hazlett says "no, no, no." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of rehab: Amy Winehouse met a "faith healer" named Peter Hippolyte when she was in St. Lucia, and she's planning on flying him to England to help her stay off drugs and booze. Hippolyte says: "We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants." [Daily Mail]
• Video: Amy Winehouse rapping. Sorta. [The Sun]
• "The timing of Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland on Sunday on a 31-year-old rape conviction couldn't have been better for Brett Ratner." Hours before Polanski was arrested, Ratner announced he'll be producing a sequel to Marina Zenovich's 2008 documentary, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey says Precious director Lee Daniels helped her shed some insecurities — he made her arrive to the set without any makeup, and forced her to leave the diva act at home. "That was such a freeing experience for me… By making me look so bad he brought out the ability to never be self-conscious again, and that was a gift that he gave me." On the rumors that Mariah and Nick Cannon are trying to get pregnant, she says: "Well, we enjoy practicing." [AP]
• Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are on the October cover of LA Confidential, and inside Jon says: "The [show] is not meant to be on while you're doing dishes, it's meant to be enjoyed and savored and focused on, and it rewards that attention…" [JustJared]
• At Teen Vogue's 7th annual Young Hollywood party, Kelly Osbourne was overheard telling a friend that she was "shocked" how short the skirts of the young party girls were. [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid are called "Hollywood's Nightmare Couple" in this extensive piece. Evi allegedly self-medicated with Demerol three times a day, snorting it so it would go right to her brain to cure her migraines. A source says: "She also … believed [Michael] Jackson was murdered along with Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine, Natasha Richardson, and other stars who (had been) in movies with Randy." The paranoia that someone was out to get them, and that they weren't safe anywhere, lead to a string of unpaid hotel bills. [The Daily Beast]
• "The enormous sign Evi Quaid made last week — which accused her arresting officer of taking bribes — somehow caught fire this weekend…" [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "shaken" at the Harvard/Brown football game when security guards had to protect her from gawkers. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson is asking a judge to remove his 2006 DUI from his record, now that he has completed the terms of his 3-year probation. [TMZ]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, has announced that a major US film company has bought the rights to her series of children's books. She says: "The films will run as a series… America has been so good to me. I failed in Britain, and when I gave it a go in America I was ready to fail there, too — but they have really embraced me." [Daily Mail]
• Emmy Rossum, who kept her marriage a secret all year, will be officially divorced in about 180 days. Court documents reveal that she married record label exec Justin Siegel in February, and that he wants Emmy to pay his legal expenses for the divorce and give him spousal support. He's all, "That's all I ask… of youuuuuu." [E!]
• Emmy is currently dating Sideshow Bob Adam Duritz. [People]
• American Idol castoff Adam "Glambert" Lambert's CD is available for pre-order on Amazon, and is currently number 2 — ahead of Madonna and the Beatles. [NY Post]
• Darrell Hammond's name is missing from the opening credits of Saturday Night Live, and a source says: "He's interested in pursuing acting more, but he's loyal to Lorne Michaels, and Lorne will always have a place for him on SNL for as long as Darrell is willing to come back." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbra Streisand's new CD is nostalgic, though the recording process was not: "For the first time, she worked with jazz artist Diana Krall as producer, and did it Krall's way. She performed with Krall's quartet of musicians first, then added orchestration later, instead of her usual practice of performing with an orchestra at the outset." [AP]
• Malaysia has banned Bruno because of the gay sex scenes. According to this column, "Gay sex, or 'carnal intercourse against the order of nature,' is punishable by up to 20 years in jail and whipping in Malaysia." Their views on homosexuality suck, but as far as the film goes, they're not missing anything. [Mirror]
• Mary-Louise Parker, 45, is dating musician Charlie Mars, 35. [NY Daily News]
• Jaime Pressley and new hubby Simran Singh got into a huge fight on their wedding night, maybe because Jaime had too much to drink. [Radar Online]
• "The Inside Scoop on Starting in TV" is the story of how Lara Spencer got her start. [WSJ]
• Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, have adopted a baby girl. [People]
• 90210 2.0's AnnaLynne McCord actually wants to be on the cover of Cosmo. [Page Six]
• "A former aide to Danielle Steel is facing time in federal prison after admitting she stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from the romance novelist." [AP]
• Al Sharpton and actress LisaRaye: It's on. [TheYBF]
• Police officials now have the hard drive found with Ryan Jenkins when he was discovered dead in a hotel room back in August. There was no suicide note, so cops are hoping the computer will shed light on the murder of Jasmine Fiore. [TMZ]
• Whatshisname does not have an eating disorder. [The Sun]
• "In terms of the stress there's just no comparison. For me, at least, writing a novel is a great pleasure. There is stress but it's a different kind of stress: more mental than physical. In a film you're working nights and 16-hour days. Here I am saying poor me, when I've been paid pretty well for that work, but it's a fact. It doesn't matter how much you're being paid. At my age I just feel I don't want to do that any longer. So, the writing is really a godsend." — Gene Hackman, who has quit acting for writing, He and Daniel Lenihan have written three works of fiction, and their latest, Escape From Andersonville, is a Civil War adventure. [The Daily Beast]
• "I am enrolling in Berklee College in Boston to get my bachelor's degree in music! That's how important education is to me. I plan to work with Rev. Al Sharpton because that's how important stressing the importance of education to children is to me." — Wyclef Jean. [BV Buzz]
• "I wasn't nervous because I'd got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn't want to lose weight and look skinny." — Heidi Montag on her Playboy shoot. She also says: "I'm a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape." [Prz]
• "Seriously, I feel exactly the same now turning 50 as I did when I was 40 or 30. I am enjoying myself. I happen to think that I am just extraordinarily lucky. I am doing something that I am passionate about and that I enjoy doing. There are a couple of charities I am involved with that would appreciate a donation. But please, no presents from anyone." — Simon Cowell turns 50 tomorrow and will throw a big party this weekend. [Telegraph]
• "We're having Gore Vidal on. Larry David is booked. Those two are favorites of mine. And the usual suspects: Ann Coulter. Susie [Essman] will be on. Barbara [Walters] might be on the first week because she's the queen. Alec Baldwin- I can't get him on the phone. I saw him recently at a U.N. function. He's the funniest. He trusts me because I'm not out to get him. I'm not. Last time I interviewed him, his daughter was there and they were really close." — Joy Behar on her new HLN show, which starts tonight at 9pm. [USA Today]
• "She speaks like this weird white-person ebonics. She has this weird language. She doesn't technically read. But it's OK; she doesn't have to." — Kathy Griffin on Paris Hilton. [Page Six]
• "Come on over and see me after you finish." — Ellen Barkin to Matt Damon. [Page Six]
• "With ratings falling, this might be the last season of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I'm not sure yet." — Kate Gosselin, on her Facebook page. [NY Post]

• Jay-Z is one of the few people still on Team Kanye after the VMA incident. "I think it was rude but the way they're treating him..." says Jay-Z. "He's on the cover of every paper. He didn't kill anybody..."

• Taylor Swift's handlers ended an interview on the MJ Morning Show because the DJ wouldn't stop asking her about Kanyegate. She's already briefly addressed the controversy, and then asked him to stop three times when he kept pressing her to say more. [TMZ]
• Nicholas Prugo, who was arrested for allegedly breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house, plead guilty to cocaine possession in February and entered an 18-month drug diversion program. He was also arrested last month on unknown charges. [TMZ]
• The LAPD has a second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan/Audrina Patridge robberies: Rachel Lee. Police identified her by looking at Nicholas Prugo's Facebook friends and matching them to the surveillance video. [TMZ]
• Last night on Chelsea Lately Jennifer Aniston made fun of New Jersey, where she filmed The Bounty saying, "What is with that smell?... You know when you drive from Manhattan, and there's that one area?" Now Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub, has invited Jen to tour of her state saying, "Why don't you see more of New Jersey before you say it smells? I would love to hang out with her. I hear she is really fabulous — but she really shouldn't say that... If you land in Newark and leave out of Newark, yeah, you will think NJ smells. But you can't judge it by one part. If it was so bad, I wouldn't be living here for 22 years." [Us]
• FYI: Brad Pitt has a "graying, growing billy-goat beard." [TMZ]
• Police have decided not to file hit-and-run charges against LeAnn Rimes for a minor accident that occurred last month when she was on her way to a rendez-vous with Eddie Cibrian. A LAPD spokeswoman says it was clear that Rimes didn't realized she'd hit the other car. [E!]
• Grounded Music is suing the Black Eyed Peas because they claim the song "Voodoo Doll" is a rip off of "Each One Teach One" by the group Groundation, which is on their label. [TMZ]
• Jessica Simpson is calling off the search for her dog Daisy. "They wanted to feel they gave it their best efforts. They felt chances were slim from the beginning. Apparently [coyotes] are quite an issue in that area," said a representative from the dog finding service Find Toto. "They were upset and hoping to find at least the remains to try and get some closure by this weekend." [E!]
• A shirtless Lego version of Iggy Pop is featured in the game Lego Rock Band. [USA Today]
• Though recent reports claimed Britney Spears propositioned male model Bekim Trenova at a casting session, sources in Brit's camp say the allegations are "completely false" and deny that she's been holding fake music video auditions to find a new boyfriend. [ONTD]
• Michelle Williams confirms in the new issue of Vogue that she and Spike Jonze have broken up saying, "The timing was impossible... I thought falling in love again was the only thing that was going to save me from the pain. This erroneous idea: It just makes things more complicated." [ONTD]
• Oprah's latest Book Club selection is Uwem Akpan's Say You're One of Them, "a collection of five short stories set in modern Africa and told from the perspective of children living amid war and famine." [N.Y. Magzine]
• In the new movie Precious, Mariah Carey sports dark circles under her eyes and a slight mustache. On today's Oprah she says she thought of her new look, "This is so ugly, man, I don't know what to do." [People]
• Yet another crazy person is suing Michael Jackson's estate, unless you believe Erle Bonner's claim that MJ stole his formulas for the "herpes cure, acne cures and arthritis cures." Bonner also claims ..."someone from the Jackson family came by my house and shot a 22 pistol in the air. They turned around in a neighbor's driveway and drove away." [TMZ]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's looking forward to seeing who her 1-month-old son, "becomes, who he takes after, what he decides to do, if he'll sing." [AP]
• Kate Gosselin guest hosted The View this morning and met Kathy Griffin. She said she saw Kathy's spoof Kate Is Enough: The Kate Gosselin Story and said, "I watched it online and I didn't know what to expect... I caught myself crackign up out loud. You're awesome." [Star]
• Kim Kardashian claimed that her pregnant sister Kourtney had been wearing Khloe's clothes, but Kourtney says, "That is absolutely not true and I told Kim that last night. I go, 'You know, I haven't one time worn Khloé's clothes since I have been pregnant,' and she was like 'I thought you have...I thought you said that; now that makes me look stupid.'" [E!]
• John Legend says it isn't his fault that he got a ticket for driving without his headlights on at night. He Tweeted: "Valet sabotaged me! didn't notice becuz the dashboard lites were on and usually I have my headlights on "auto" so they come on w the car. Valet turned them off. Oh well! More money for the California state treasury. I guess they need it." [TMZ]
• On Monday's Ellen DeGeneres Show Kelly Osbourne discusses her battle with drugs and alcohol saying, "My mom had been in a relationship with my father for years and years trying to get him sober. I was completely ashamed that I would have to go to her and now tell her that her daughter has issues as well... I felt like I let her down – but what I didn't realize was that if I would have went to her a long time ago, she would have helped me no matter what." [Perez Hilton]
• Sheryl Crow says her 2-year-old son Wyatt doesn't like it when she sings. "I want to sing to him, but right now he's like, 'Mommy, no! All done! All done!.. He's really into kids' music and is listening to a lot of Raffi. I think he thinks if I'm singing that I'm going to work," she says. [People]
• "I developed that (a fear of flying) when I turned 20. All of a sudden I got really afraid to get on airplanes. I had to come up with a way to deal with it because I didn't want to have panic attacks every time I get on a plane. I know for a fact it's not in my destiny to die listening to a Britney Spears album, so I always put that on in my (headphones) when I'm flying because I know it wont crash if I've got Britney on." — Megan Fox [Hollywood Rag]
• Anna Faris says after her first marriage ended in 2007 she had a meltdown. She explains: "I tend to be a serial monogamist. But the next thing you know, I'm single and living in an apartment full of potato chips, mustard and tons of beer. I wore this grubby Garfield t-shirt and these baggy jeans all the time. Personal hygiene? Nah. I would talk to my cat, I was drunk all the time. I would go to bars alone. I would talk to guys and be like, 'Sooo, what's your story? You wanna go out?' If they turned me down, I'd be like, 'So, what's your friend like?' It was a very selfish time in my life but also strangely liberating. I felt weirdly empowered." [Hollywood Rag]
• Carrie Fisher found a blog post in which someone said she used to be hot but now she looks like Elton John. She responded on her blog writing, "You see, I was hot when most people are hot— in my fucking 20's & part of my 30's……THEN, in an effort to imitate humans, I had a child &, to further maintain my life like disguise, I took medications for about 9 thousand years, &, despite all my efforts, I continued to get older & older—inadvertently, I assure you——I tried to arrest my development physically as WELL as emotionally, but unfortunately without as much success. I also must confess that I ate food. I'm sorry….. I realize that I promised never to eat anything but lettuce & sun flower seeds, but tragically, I was unable to keep my promise." [Perez Hilton]

Later on in the show, while plugging her new memoir, Official Book Club Selection, Kathy ran down the list of which celebrities are and are not speaking to her. (It seems safe to say Kate Gosselin is now in the latter category.) While she's still friends with Lance Bass and Anderson Cooper, it seems Clay Aiken doesn't enjoy the nickname "Gaiken" and Celine Dion doesn't like Kathy implying that she had sex with her husband when she was nine. As for Paula Abdul, Kathy says, "She may not be aware of who she's talking to."

• Unsolicited uterus update: Nicole Richie is in labor!

She has been admitted to the hospital to give birth to her second child with Joel Madden. Details to come. [ET]

• Spoilery secrets from Sex And The City 2: Gay wedding! And Jesus on Manolos, if Miley Cyrus is in the movie that has got to be one of the signs of the apocalypse. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Cops rushed to Halle Berry's house yesterday when someone tripped an alarm on the property by accident. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson will open the MTV Video Music Awards with a musical tribute to her brother, Michael Jackson. [USA Today]
• It's been decided: Michael Jackson's three children will not enroll at the school Tito's kids attend; they will continue to be home schooled by the same tutors they had under Michael's supervision. [TMZ]
• "Various members of Michael Jackson's family tell TMZ they are already talking about lawyers who might rep them in a wrongful death lawsuit against Dr. Conrad Murray… In California, Jackson's immediate family could sue for the economic loss they have suffered by Jackson's death — e.g., the financial support Jackson could have provided had he lived. Here's the problem — Jackson's death may actually be an economic gain. It's already becoming clear Michael Jackson is more profitable in death than he was in the last years of his life." [TMZ]
• Emma Watson's first days at Brown University: Not going so great. The paparazzi shot her doing orientation activities, and a Twitter user wrote: "My dad made Emma Watson mad by taking a photo of her going inside the Financial Aid office at Brown. She was with her mom & boyfriend." And now: A CNN story! [CNN]
• Rihanna's dad: Not too thrilled about Rihanna topless (but wearing pasties) in Italian Vogue: "The photo was disturbing," he told Us Weekly. He was, however, amused by Chris Brown on Larry King Live: "The costume he wore was so funny. That bow tie thing. He needs to bury that." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Uh-oh. According to this column, even though a judge ordered Chris Brown and Rihanna to stay away from each other, they can't. A source says "They spoke to their lawyers to see what was allowed, and are now planning two weeks in Mexico." As always, consider the source on this. [MSNBC via Britain's Star]
• Tila Tequila's lawyer claims that Shawne Merriman's version of events is "spin." In a statement, Tila's rep says: "Fortunately, we as a society will not tolerate a 6'4", 270 pound all-pro NFL linebacker physically assaulting a young lady who is 4'11" and 93 pounds. It is never justifiable to brutally assault, choke, strike and imprison a woman." [TMZ]
• Shawne Merriman's ex-girlfriend says "he never laid a hand on me" and "it's out of his character" to lash out at a woman. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson was spotted wearing a diamond band on THAT finger, so speculation is that it's a meaningful gift from A-Rod. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse's dad caught his daughter in bed with none other than "druggie and former jailbird" Blake Fielder-Civil. Mitch Winehouse allegedly threatened to "punch his lights out." [The Sun]
• Brody Jenner met with cops yesterday to make a statement about the altercation between his girlfriend Jayde Nicole and Girls Gone Wild mastermind Joe Francis. [Radar Online]
• Antonio Banderas told Ellen that knee operations after a skiing accident required Melanie Griffith to use narcotics again, which is why she went to rehab. Antonio says: "In March, she came to me and said, 'I'm feeling a little bit weak in my determination for this ... so I just thought to go to rehabilitation by myself. So the whole entire family is supporting her, and I am supporting her, and at this particular time more than ever. I'm very proud of her." [People]
• Jay-Z will perform at Madison Square Garden on Friday at a special September 11 benefit concert, and tickets — originally priced at $55 — are being scalped for $200 to $3,000. Jay says he's "disheartened." [AP]
• Yoko Ono allegedly told Britain's Sky News channel that the entire Beatles' music catalog will be made available on iTunes; then the news item was removed. Is an announcement imminent? [MSNBC]
• This report claims that the Yoko/iTunes story is untrue. [CBS News]
• Kourtney Kardashian baby shower "secrets" at the link. [People]
• Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy, Scott Disick, hangs out with Kevin Federline. [Page Six]
• Pamela Anderson has been dating this electrician/surfer for a while now, but People calls it a "new shocker." [People]
• Pam Anderson plays a scantily clad security guard who strips passengers of animal products in a new PETA ad, which the CNN Airport Network has deemed too racy, saying "children make up part of the demographic in airports." [Page Six]
• Simon Cowell is planning a massive, $400,000 party for his 50th birthday, with Elton John, Kevin Spacey, Denise Richards and Donald Trump attending. [MSNBC]
• Robert Rodriguez is taking over Austin, Texas as his new flick, Machete, starts filming. Look for Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez and, yes, Lindsay Lohan. [Page Six]
• Lil Wayne's North American tour grossed about $42 million and drew nearly 804,000 fans, making it the highest grossing hip-hop outing of the year — and the most lucrative rap tour that Billboard has ever tracked. Plus, that kind of cash buys a lot of whatever Weezy drinks out of that styrofoam cup. [Reuters]
• Halle Berry is in talks to star in action-thriller Dark Tide. Penned by Amy Sorlie, the story concerns a diving instructor who returns to the deep after a near-fatal incident with a Great White shark. [Variety]
• Rapper Eve was in the VIP area of a club when she got hungry, so she asked for "something vegetarian, like grilled cheese or chicken fingers." [Page Six]
• Everything you never wanted to know about Sydney Andrews, the Melrose Place character played by Laura Leighton. [People]
• Laura Krafft — who once worked for Stephen Colbert — will head the writing team for Wanda Sykes' new show. [Page Six]
• Spandau Ballet: Making a comeback. [Daily Mail]
• "For a while I thought, well, maybe I just don't want to work any more, or work now, because nothing was appealing to me. It actually was a little nerve-racking. But I read this and I thought: 'Here's something.'" — Edie Falco on Nurse Jackie. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "9/11 has been the pretext for the systematic dismantling of our Constitution and Bill of Rights… the official story behind 9/11 is a fraud" — Charlie Sheen. [Page Six]
• "The second time I had plastic surgery I got it done for free. People was covering it and I met a team of doctors that had a publicist who kept adding procedures. The guy who did my LASIK surgery wanted to do a 'tune-up' and now I've had five surgeries on my eye. I have partial blindness in one of my eyes, actually. It was very much like Nip/Tuck where they'd be like, 'Tell me what you don't like about yourself,' and then they'd draw all over you with markers to highlight your 'problem' areas. […] Besides, I actually have a theory that my original nose has grown back. I heard that your ears and nose continue to grow as you age so I think that I'm right back to where I started." — Kathy Griffin. [Time]
• "We never wanted to be parents, with all that entails: the loss of freedom, total dependency. I didn't have a work ethic for such a long time. Imagine if I had a child like me? I didn't start earning until I was 36. I'm the sort of person who has to check three times that I've shut the door, so I'd probably stare at a kid all day to check it was breathing." — Ricky Gervais on he and partner Jane Fallon's decision not to have children. [The Sun]
• "I'm not the kind of woman who waits a lot. [Laughs.] I take life as it is, and it just happened that my masseuse, Su-Man, asked me, 'Do you want to dance?' I was lying on the table having a massage, and I said, 'Yes.' Then I met with Akram, and they proposed, 'Do you want to do three days of trying something together?' But I never think of time, because when you're inside of your life, you don't think of time. It's a learning process with my body, and it's challenging, but I love it because it allows me to enter different worlds, spaces, and fears. I don't want to go to the same place. Otherwise, I'm bored." — Juliette Binoche, on In-I, a dance performance she choreographed with Akram Khan, in BAM's Next Wave Festival. [Village Voice]
• Q: Paparazzi get photos of celebrities doing pretty much everything, but they never seem to get pictures of stars after surgery. Why is that? A: Oh, there's a whole system you need to know about. First of all, the plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills all have secret celebrity doors. After the surgery, you leave the plastic surgeon's office covered in a sheet that's not unlike a burqa. Your assistant takes you to an upscale hotel where you hide in a dark room of shame until you're better. There are bandaged rich ladies walking around the hallways of the Four Seasons and the Peninsula in Beverly Hills right now. It's not unlike being a war criminal or a terrorist. — Kathy Griffin. [Time]

• Madonna's daughter Lourdes, who is 12, was featured her "Celebration" video, which was released yesterday, but there is apparently another version in which Lourdes is dressed up in her mom's wedding dress outfit from "Like A Virgin." [Daily Mail]

• Katherine Heigl is taking a five episode hiatus from Grey's Anatomy to film the romantic comedy Life As We Know It. This is the first time the producers have allowed her to leave the show for an extended amount of time. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Michael Jackson will be buried tomorrow in a private sunset ceremony at Forest Lawn Memorial Park. He'll be interred in the cemetery's Great Mausoleum, where Clark Gable, Jean Harlow, and Carole Lombard were laid to rest. [AFP]
• DJ AM didn't have a will according to documents filed by his mother and she is listed as his sole heir. The documents say his income was more than $3.5 million, but his debts added up to $2.9 million. [TMZ]
• DJ AM's mother was named special administrator of his estate so she can finalize the sale of her son's house in Los Angeles, which he was in the process of selling. [TMZ]
• DJ AM will be buried at 3 p.m. today at the Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary in West Los Angeles after a private funeral. [E!]
• In his interview with ABC News next week Jon Gosselin says of Kate Gosselin, "I took a lot of abuse from her. I was put down. She'll call me, almost like a lame fish. Like I wasn't going anywhere." But Jon didn't take kindly to being a house husband. He says, "Well, excuse me, I'm taking care of the kids. She's on book tours, she's doing all these thing. You know she's gone a week ... comes back. Packs up and leaves again." [People]
• Jon also says during the interview, "What began as friendship has grown into something more. I know that my decision to appear publicly with Hailey this weekend will be scrutinized, but I hope that people can see I'm a regular guy who is going through a very difficult time in life and wants to move forward." [Perez Hilton]
• Florin Cioaba, Romania's self-proclaimed "King of the Gypsies" praised Madonna for speaking out on behalf of Gypsies during a concert, saying, "Madonna is the only international personality to have raised the problem of discrimination against the Roma in Europe." [AP]
• Lily Allen will guest star on as herself in an episode of the Australian soap Neighbours. [Daily Mail]
• Whitney Houston left her Good Morning America concert after singing only four songs saying, "I'm so sorry. I did Oprah. I've been talking for so long. … I talked so much, my voice," she said. "I shouldn't be talking. I should be singing." [People]
• Hayden Christensen's brother, producer Tove Christensen, was arrested this morning for felony assault with a deadly weapon because he allegedly dragged his girlfriend 30 feet while she hung on to the side of his car. [TMZ]
• Sharon Osbourne has been accused of trying to run over a court official while he delivered legal papers to her house. Megan Hauserman says the official was trying to give her documents related to her lawsuit against Sharon for allegedly attacking her during Rock of Love: Charm School. [The Sun]
• You can listen to the 911 call made after Joe Francis allegedly attacked Playboy playmate Jayde Nicole here: [Radar Online]
• Police are reviewing security camera footage taken in the Hollywood club where Joe Francis allegedly assaulted Jayde Nicole. [TMZ]
• Here are some tips for a happy marriage from the Duggars, in case you're having a hard time coping with your 18 + children. [People]
• A chef is suing Simon Cowell and ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour because she claims when she auditioned to work for them they made her change into clear-bottomed sneakers and she left her shoes with $500 orthopedic insoles in their house. [TMZ]
• Boy George's ankle monitor has been removed and his curfew has been lifted. He posted a picture of his foot with the message "In the words of John INman, "I'm free!'" on Twitter. [The Sun]
• A spokesman for the Rolling Stones is denying the rumors that drummer Charlie Watts has left the band. [The Mirror]
• Joyce DeWitt of Three's Company has been charged with DUI over her drunk driving arrest on July 4. [TMZ]
• Lil Mama has apologized to GLADD for making fun of a transgender dancer while judging America's Best Dance Crew this weekend saying, "Leiomy, come on. Your behavior ... it's unacceptable ... You were born a man and you are becoming a woman. If you're going to become a woman, act like a lady ... It gets too crazy and it gets confusing." She said in the statement, "My remarks were never meant to be disrespectful regarding Leiomy's gender nor offensive to the LGBT community, which has been a community that has supported me in all my endeavors. However, in hindsight, I recognize that my words may have come across as hurtful. I spoke with her privately after the taping to express that it was not my intent to offend her or any member of the transgender community." [TMZ]
• An source claims he saw Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart using cocaine at a Hollywood party late last year. "I think Eric and Rebecca were there to get high. It didn't take long before she asked where the coke was. They went into another room and started snorting lines of cocaine. I watched them do it," said the source.
  [National Enquirer]
• The prosecution has finished presenting witnesses in the case of the woman accused of sexually abusing six teenagers at Oprah Winfrey's school for girls in South Africa. [CBS News]
• Justin Timberlake made a surprise appearance at a club in Las Vegas last night and gave everyone a free shot of 901 tequila, saying, "Me and my buddy started a homegrown tequila down in Mexico and I wanted to make sure you guys got a taste, so I bought everyone in the bar a shot." He toasted, "We should all believe in something and I believe it's time for another shot of tequila." [People]
• Cindy McCain is speaking out about her severe migranes, which she says she's suffered with for 15 years but never discussed before. She says she was hesitant to mention how much they hurt because of John McCain's experience as a POW. "There were times when I felt a little bit inadequate with my pain problem," she said. "But I had to get over that because I didn't live in John's shoes and he didn't live in mine. He doesn't always understand [migraines] but he knows they are real." [People]
• Travelodge's released a ‘books left behind index' of the 7200 books abandoned in its UK hotel rooms by its customers in the past year. Jordan's autobiography tops the list. Also in the top 10: John Grisham's The Appeal and The Magic and the Madness, J. Randy Taraborrelli's Michael Jackson biography. [Telegraph]
• Tim Burton says of Johnny Depp, "It's very nice to have someone that you can have a completely abstract conversation with and leave the room, feel like everything's fine, and then realize that if you pick it apart, you have absolutely no idea what either of you said." [MTV]
• "Living with Hef brought down my self-esteem a lot. I was comparing myself to the other girls. You have to look a certain way at the mansion." — Holly Madison [Newser]
• Jerry Seinfeld says of the old Seinfeld set being recreated for the cast's appearance on Curb Your Enthusiasm, "The best analogy is a snow globe. You're walking into a miniature fake environment that has been recreated. As I told people about it, I could go back in your life 10 years and recast your friends, recreate where you live, everything in it exactly how it was, and now somebody with a headset points at you and you walk in now, and there it was, and you go, ‘Jesus Christ, this is my old life!' We all felt like it was a very special experience. Just to go back in time in life is a fantasy." [Hollywood Insider]
• "I've never been the kind of person out on the prowl bedding different girls every night. I went through a two-week phase, but it was really awful. The ‘man about town' thing is so clichéd; I'd hate to think that I was subscribing to any idea of what someone in my position should be like. There's also the slight problem that the type of girl [I] go for would be way less likely to like me because I'm Mark Ronson. They'd much rather be talking to a Klaxon in the corner." — Mark Ronson [Telegraph]
• "What I can't figure out is why I wasted time worrying about my looks. I am a comedian. I'm not on the runway in Milan," says Kathy Griffin. "Believe it or not, people don't come to see me really thinking I'm going to look like Jennifer Aniston." [People]

• Melanie Griffith's rep confirmed that she has checked into a rehab facility saying, "This is part of a routine plan that was designed between her and her doctors years ago." But sources say husband Antonio Banderas demanded she get sober.

• "Melanie's struggling right now, but Antonio has been checking in on her as much as he is allowed, making sure she gets back on her feet. Without Antonio in her life, I honestly believe Melanie would be dead," says the source. [Star]
• A law enforcement official told the Associated Press that the L.A. County coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death a homicide. The report hasn't been released to the public yet, but forensic tests found that MJ died when propofol mixed with at least two sedatives in his system. It's now even more likely that criminal charges will be filed against Dr. Conrad Murray. [MSNBC]
• According to a search warrant affidavit, Dr. Conrad Murray told the police he had been giving Michael Jackson propofol every night to treat his insomnia. Murray said he only left the room for two minutes to go to the bathroom and when he came back MJ wasn't breathing. [TMZ]
• The law firm that did work for Michael Jackson during his child molestation trial claims the estate still owes them $200,000. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson says Michael Jackson would have loved next month's global tribute concert in Vienna. She says, "An event of this dimension not only keeps Michael's spirit alive, more than that: It gives millions of fans the opportunity to experience his music and celebrate the life of my son." [AP]
• In the video at the link Jasmine Fiore's mother and Robert Hasman, the ex she was texting on the night she was murdered, talk about Ryan Jenkins' suicide. Hasman says, "I was happy that Ryan, that he killed himself." [TMZ]
• Though Ryan Jenkins was found dead in a hotel room in Canada yesterday, police are still looking for the women who allegedly drove him to the hotel, checked him in, paid for three days, and left 20 minutes later. [TMZ]
• At the link are pictures of the hotel room where Jenkins was found, which were taken after the room was cleaned. He was hanging from the coat rack but his feet were touching the ground. [TMZ]
• Police say they have identified the woman but won't reveal her identity. The hotel manager says he's "100% sure" it's Paulina Chmielecka, Jenkins' former fiance, but police say it isn't her and her agent says, "There is no way it can be her because on Friday she was doing a fashion show and Saturday she was filming a cooking show... She's grieving the loss of someone she used to love." [TMZ]
• Police say they are investigating whether the woman could face charges of being an accessory after the fact to a border violation and evading police. [AP]
• At V Festival Amy Winehouse said of ex Blake Fielder-Civil, "He's my man." During a magic show Amy held up an ace and said: "You see this ace card right here, this one is for me and Blake - it's our lucky card, he's my man, we can make it, we're so strong together." [The Mirror]
• Brad Pitt's manager says he was misquoted by a German magazine that reported he called Valkyrie "ridiculous." His manager explains, "Brad has never even seen Valkyrie." [UPI]
• OMG, Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were totally holding hands! "Jen and Gerry went out on Saturday night," says a source,"[they] had cocktails and … They were hand in hand." Does this mean Jen like likes him? [People]
• This latest step in their high school romance makes sense according to another source because "Jennifer won't date a normal guy... She goes after the hottest thing of the moment, what she knows will get her the most time in the spotlight." [Us]
• Britney Spears' ex, Adnan Ghalib, has pled not guilty to hitting a process server who was serving him papers regarding her conservatorship with his car. [TMZ]\
• Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart took a trip on Friday, driving from L.A. to Santa Barbara. An eyewitness said, "Rebecca looked tired and upset." [People]
• "I have cellulite. I admit it," says Cindy Crawford. "Sometimes I just say, 'Screw it, I am going to wear a bikini.'" [People]
• Ugh. An MTV executive says that next season on The Hills, "Heidi and Spencer are entering some interesting new territory of considering parenthood." [People]
• Martina Navratilova is engaged to Russian beauty queen and model Julia Lemigova who was in the news in 2005 when her former lover, Edouard Stern, was murdered by his mistress during sadomasochist sex. [Daily Mail]
• A new Jay-Z song called "Off That" was released this weekend. It includes the lyrics: "Please tell Bill O'Reilly to fall back. Tell Rush Limbaugh to get off my balls. It's 2010, not 1864." [Politico]
• Wanda Sykes says she doesn't regret telling jokes about Rush Limbaugh at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. "I missed the flak because I wasn't even watching television over the next few days. ... But I wouldn't change anything," she says, "I just know a lot of people were in the room, and they were all laughing, so I think there's a little hypocrisy there - people covering their ass." [Politico]
• The View has announced a few more celebrities who will guest host next season while Elisabeth Hasselbeck is on maternity leave, including Meghan McCain, LaToya Jackson, Victoria Beckham, and Kathy Griffin, who apparently isn't banned for life. [The View]
• A&E is being sued over the network's new Steven Seagal reality show because a production company claims the idea was stolen from an idea they pitched for a reality show about Seagal, Chuck Norris, and Jean-Claude Van Damme living together. [TMz]
• Tyra Banks will be in the fourth episode of Gossip Girl this season and will play the late singer and actress Josephine Baker. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Denise Richards says of sending her daughter Sam to school in the fall, "It's bittersweet... Sami starts kindergarten, which I cannot believe, in a couple of weeks. I'm so sad about it." [People]
• "I will always love Chanel and I am completely irrational when it comes to their clothes. I will see a dress and not like it. But then, when I hear it's Chanel, I suddenly have to have it!" — Anne Hathaway [New!]
• Christopher Reeve's son, Matthew Reeve, is training to run the New York City marathon in honor of his father. He says, "I'm constantly grateful and appreciative of being able to do the simplest, most basic functions, and the fact that I have good health and can move normally. That's something I've been more aware of and grateful for since the age of 15 than most people. There is a sense of, well, I can and I should." [N.Y. Times]
• "I don't think a naked body is particularly shocking or interesting. It's not the culture I was raised in. I was not brought up in the United States. I don't share the [attitude] that you can have graphic violence, but – God forbid – you see someone's nipples." — Anna Paquin [People]
• "The thing about vampirism is that it taps into a female point of view – you have an old-fashioned gentleman with manners who is a fucking killer… it's an interesting duality, because in our present society it would be an odd thing for a woman to say, ‘I want my man to be physical with me.' How, as a modern man, can you fucking work that? It's one thing to be polite and gentle… But when do you know it's OK to crawl out of the mud and rape her [as Bill does in one scene]?… It's difficult stuff for a bloke, but a vampire gets away with it…. I think that's the attraction of the show – it's looking back at a romantic time when men were men, but they were still charming." — True Blood's Stephen Moyer [Just Jared]

Levi talked a little bit of shit on the Palins, saying that "[Sarah] screwed [their relationship] all up," and that he's not looking forward to being around them. Today, Radar posted an interview with Levi, in which he says that the Palins are, in fact, having marital troubles. I think I'm in love with him.

This was perhaps my favorite screen shot ever:

Later on in the program, Kathy talked with some pageant kids from Toddlers & Tiaras. They taught her how to do their walk, and then she asked them if they wanted her to make a call to Child Protective Services.

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO INTERVIEW: Sarah Palin Resigned Due To Marital Troubles, Says Levi Johnston [Radar]
Levi Johnston Hits Teen Choice Awards With Kathy Griffin [MTV]

Interestingly, later in the episode, when Kathy was "canvassing" — going out in the community and talking to people about how they voted — she learned that many voters were confused over the wording of Prop 8, thinking that voting "yes" on it was a vote for agreeing with gay marriage.

Earlier: Etheridge Calls Elisabeth Out For Her Support Of Prop 8

Joan Rivers, under the circumstances, was wise to play it safe - or her Nancy-Reagan-as-Trump-Tower equivalent thereof.


I have a certain sympathy for Melissa Rivers as a fellow person with no style or qualifications who still feels confident to hand down arbitrary opinions of celebrities' outfits. The difference is, I have nowhere to wearwouldn't wear anything so utterly expensive predictable as bandage plus Louboutins.


I am confused by Iliza Shlesinger's top. I like high-low as well as the next guy, but this has a middle-school-boy's conscientious tucked-in look.


I'm just gonna say it: I love Kathy Griffin's dress.


Kaylee DeFer is probably taunting Joan Rivers by wearing this getup on a night when she can't criticize it! Ha! Roast, indeed!


I'm so ready for this pajama-onesie trend to end; I have a particular aversion to "comfy" things that actually look really hard to wear. That said, Claudia Jordan looks pretty good.


Rebecca Corry's boot-breakout seems premature to my Eastern eyes, but maybe the seasons aren't acknowledged in L.A.?


Jackie Collins always wears the perfect "Jackie Collins" uniform. You can just smell the "Poison" from here.


As we know, I have a particular aversion to purple, with its echoes of wizards and Lisa Frank. And yet, I like sharp, sleek little cotton dresses like Whitney Cumming.' What to do?


Maybe I'd have gone for a slightly more open neckline on this LBD, but man am I digging on Robin Quivers' shoes - and am unfailingly struck by her commitment to off-air class!


I hate when people's dates aren't identified. Like it would take so long to ask? Not that there's anything wrong with being "Alan Thicke's plus one," I guess, but when one has taken the time to cultivate a careful Easter palette, it seems a crying shame.

[Images via Getty]

It's not that she said anything racially offensive. She told a pussy lips joke, and being that it was amateur night, there were several children in the audience. The management was pissed.

• Tony Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson the night before her 29th birthday on July 10, which is especially tragic because she had planned a Barbie and Ken themed party.

• A source said Jess had to cancel the party but she's "ok." Did the Ken costume push him over the edge? [Us]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes was spotted wearing a SpineCor back brace, which is commonly used to treat scoliosis. [Yeeeah]
• David Beckham says rumors that he's posing in a series of sexy Emporio Armani ads with Angelina Jolie are untrue. "She's an amazing person and so is Brad. They're an incredible couple — got an amazing family. You know she wouldn't do it and I wouldn't do it. At the end of the day, I wouldn't do it because I'm married," he said. [Extra]
• Ian Halperin's Michael Jackson tell-all is coming out this week, so expect to hear more salacious details from the book, such as his claim that MJ was gay. Halperin said he's interviewed two of MJ's lovers. "He met a construction worker and fell madly in love with him," claims Halperin. "Michael would leave the house in disguise, often dressed as a woman, and would go meet his boyfriend at a motel that was one of Vegas' grungiest dives. Michael was broke. He struggled to put food on the table for his children. That was all he could afford then." [UPI]
• Sources say Debbie Rowe made a deal with Katherine Jackson that she'd give up custody of Paris and Prince as long as Joe Jackson would have no part in raising them. "The last thing she wanted was for those kids to be looked after by Joe and go through what Michael went through," said a source. "When [Rowe and Jackson] were [married], Michael poured out his heart about how much he loathed Joe for what he had done." [N.Y. Post]
• Sheryl Crow says of being Michael Jackson's backup dancer, "I like to call it magic. It's really overused where he is concerned, but I like to call it magic and I got to watch that magic every night." [CBS News]
• Michael Jackson's production company MJJ Productions has confirmed the rumors that a Michael Jackson video game is in the works. Supposedly it included MJ's voice and will be in stores by Christmas. [Mirror]
• A New York art gallery postponed an Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson from the auction block. It's value was estimated at $1 million to $10 million, but the gallery wants to offer the painting to "the greatest number of prospective purchasers." [Yahoo]
• Next month Alana Stewart, one of Farrah Fawcett's closest friends, will publish a diary she kept while Farrah was battling cancer. Some of the profits will be donated to the Farrah Fawcett Foundation. [Crains]
• A judge ruled Amanda Brunfield, Billy Bob Thornton's daughter, won't be released from jail until an expert witness testifies about why there were bruises on the skull of the baby who died in her care. [The Orlando Sentinel]
• Maura Tierney has a breast tumor. She released a statement saying, "I have discovered a tumor in my breast which requires surgery. I will not know either my exact diagnosis or course of treatment until that surgery is performed." Her new show Parenthood was supposed to premiere in the fall but NBC has postponed it until 2010 so she can receive treatment. [N.Y. Times]
• Artie Lange says he doesn't know why he was charged with DUI. He claims he blew a 0.0 Breathalyzer and passed every test the police officer gave him after he rear ended another car. He says he was on his way to pick up a prescription for his sick mother. [TMZ]
• Nas has filed legal papers in his divorce from Kelis claiming he didn't get a $11 million record deal and his income is actually declining. While she says he's offered no child support for their unborn child, he says he wants to be "fully involved" in parenting the child, has already bough two cribs and a stroller, and has offered to pay $5,000 a month in child support. [TMZ]
• Megan Fox is shopping for a home in the Hollywood Hills. This weekend she looked at homes in the $2 million to $3 million range. [The Daily Mail]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch went to prison for failing to pay taxes on his $1 million prize and is serving out the last three months of his sentence on house arrest. He's asked the court to let him participate in a 10th anniversary editor of the show to help pay the $400,000 he still owes the IRS. [E!]
• Miley Cyrus was paid $10,000 a day for voicing Bolt, but if they movie had made just $11 million more at the box office she would have made tons more in bonuses. [TMZ]
• Neil Patrick Harris will host the Emmy Awards on September 20. [N.Y. Times]
• Matt Damon will guest star on Entourage next season to raise money for his charity OneXOne. You can read spoilers here: [People]
• Natalie Portman has been cast as the female lead in the comic book movie Thor. Chris Hemsworth will play Thor and Kenneth Branagh is directing. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Holly Madison and Jason Statham were spotted hanging out in Las Vegas over the weekend. Elsewhere in Vegas, Leighton Meester performed songs from her upcoming album. [E!]
• Also spotted this weekend in Vegas: Evangeline Lilly, Dominic Monaghan, and his parents. [Just Jared]
• After many teenagers were turned away from Bruno this weekend, a version has been created for teens 15 and older. Only 1 minute and 50 seconds are missing from the 15+ film, which marks the first time two versions of a film have appeared in U.K. theaters. [BBC]
• Michelle Pfeiffer says maintaining her figure means limiting herself. "I'm not allowed to do those fancy foods, especially while shooting. At that time, I'm given certain portions. Meted out quantities. Like when we filmed Chéri in Paris, I did not partake of those sauces." [The Telegraph]
• Molly Ringwald gave birth to her twins, Adele Georgiana and Roman Stylianos last week. [ONTD]
• Mira Sorvino gave birth to her third child with her husband on June 22. His name is Holden. She says, "He is my miracle baby. With everything that threatened this pregnancy and both of our lives, he came out of it completely unscathed: perfectly healthy, beautiful and wonderful!" [People]
• Kelly Bensimon is coming back for season three of RHONY, but it's unclear which of her costars will join her. "I am coming back," said Kelly. "But I actually don't know who else is coming back. They don't really tell me." [People]
• Dylan McDermott says he became an actor because of his step-mother, Eve Ensler. He says Ensler, who married his dad when he was 15, "instantly said that I should be an actor" because she "saw something" in him. [AP]
• "Now I've got this moniker that I'm the foot-in-mouth gal, and I keep thinking, In what way? Because I said something you don't agree with? Because I said something you don't like? I'm just telling you my opinion. I hate the idea that I can't be honest about how I feel about things because it's going to piss somebody off who feels differently. That seems preposterous to me." — Katherine Heigl [ONTD]
• Kathy Griffin beat out Lisa Rinna and Tara Reid to win a "Who's Got A Hot Bikini Bod" poll on People.com. "I voted for myself obsessively – I mean many hundreds of times," says Griffin. "Then I called my mother and had her vote, and then I had the staff drop all other work so they could do nothing but vote for me... Finally, at 48-years-old I am seen as a stupid shallow sex object," she says. "That's right: there are guys now that are not gay – well as far as I know – that want to [sleep with] me, who don't think I am funny, or even smart. They just think I have a hot body and I'm all for that." [People]
• "I wasn't trying to be a role model with The Dutchess," says Fergie, but after "seeing little girls in the audience with their moms. [It] made me think about what I do onstage a little bit more. I had to watch my mouth, because it can be filthy." [People]
• "If David Beckham had of spoken out about Iraq it wouldn't have happened, I honestly believe that hand on heart, or Britain certainly wouldn't have got involved... Beckham's cultural gravitas was as such in that period that if he'd have gone 'I don't want this war in Iraq, it's an awful thing, we should not do it', it wouldn't have happened, the public would've gone mad against it. But because he kept his gob shut, and everybody else did, it happened, we sleepwalked our way there." — Jon McClure of Reverend And The Makers. [The Mirror]

• Lindsay Lohan is being sued by a Florida chemist named Jennifer Sunday, who claims the actress stole the formula for Sevin Nyne tanning mist.

Lindsay says she co-created the formula with Lorit Simon, a Las Vegas businesswoman who air-brushes tans for celebrities. But Simon had signed a confidentiality agreement in January with Sunday's company. By the way, Sevin Nyne is named after Lindsay's lucky numbers. [St. Petersburg Times]

• The Real Housewives Of New York want more cash before they'll return to the show next season. We're talking six figures, a clothing allowance and money for hair and makeup. Bravo is responding by interviewing replacements, haha. [Gatecrasher]
• Are Countess LuAnn de Lesseps and Count Alex on the verge of a reconciliation? [Page Six]
• "Rihanna's Risqué Fashion Choice Of Pasties Ensures No One Looks At Her Hairstyle." [NY Daily News]
• In a ceremony yesterday, Prince William was made an honorary barrister. He says: "I play football, rugby and water polo, not very well, but particularly pride myself in being a quite magnificent armchair centre-back at football and flanker at rugby... and now you have made me a barrister — I promise not to practise, except for the odd speeding ticket." [Telegraph]
• Barack Obama on Michael Jackson: "There are certain figures in our popular culture that just capture peoples' imagination, and in death they become even larger. I have to admit that it's also fed by a 24/7 media that is insatiable." [CBS News]
• The Michael Jackson memorial is today, and Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder, Usher and Lionel Richie will be taking part. [Reuters]
• Debbie Rowe, biological mother of Michael's children, will not attend. [NY Post]
• Will Michael Jackson's son, Prince Michael Jackson, perform today?!?!?! [MSNBC Scoop]
• The Jackson family was at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Los Angeles last night, viewing the body. [TMZ, People]
• Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine, has turned his bedroom into a shrine, with life-size wax models from Madame Tussauds and his old report cards. [The Sun]
• Word on Michael Jackson's kids — who have not been seen since his death — is that they are with their grandmother, Katherine, and are "doing as OK as can be expected." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Uh-oh: A Liz Taylor-Michael Jackson drug link? This piece details "How Taylor's pill habit fed Jackon's addiction, how the two shared the same doctor, and the warnings they both received." [The Daily Beast]
• In this interview, Brooke Shields — who first met Michael Jackson when she was 13 — says as Michael grew up, "the more asexual he became to me." She also says: "He was like a little kid who talked about the bases - what first base was, what second base was," Shields said. "It sounded very odd to the outside, I can imagine, but to the inside, to someone who's never really left his bubble, you can understand how he would be curious." [AP via Rolling Stone]
• Robin Leach has a blog (!?!) where he writes: "Just 48 hours before his death, Michael Jackson was 'in a high state of stress and emotional drama, fearing that he would never be able to complete the 50-concert run in London, and it would kill him.'" [Vegas Deluxe]
• Ugh, every funny or crazy thing the poor man said is now coming out as a headline. For instance: "Michael Jackson Wanted To Clone Himself." [Mirror]
• In a police report from 2004, five doctors are named as continually prescribing drugs for Michael Jackson. [The Wrap]
• Congressman Peter King — who ranted about MJ over the weekend — has more to say. He calls the coverage of the singer's death an "orgy of glorification." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson news = huge traffic for TMZ. [AP]
• When Megan Fox went to Michael Bay's house to audition for Transformers, "He made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed her." Apparently this footage is now missing. [Page Six]
• Madonna is in talks to perform on Simon Cowell's X Factor show; Lady GaGa and Rihanna may also make appearances. [The Sun]
• By the by: Madonna has plans to do a concert in Warsaw, Poland on a day celebrating the Virgin Mary; Lech Walesa calls this "Satanic provocation." [Reuters]
• The Office's Jenna Fischer: Engaged! [People]
• A Brit paper claims Kelly Osbourne called Lady GaGa a "butterface": Kelly responds, "I have a big mouth and that's no secret… BUT when words are being put into my mouth and things are being printed that I did not say it really makes me really mad. I am a huge fan of Lady GaGa. If anything i'm slightly jealous of her wardrobe and I am definitely in no position to be calling anyone a butter face." [Perez]
• Diddy's White Party is being called "B-list" because Tila Tequila, Tara Reid and Tom Green were there, but what about Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Russell Brand, Jonah Hill and Lindsay Lohan? [Page Six]
• Twilight star Kellan Lutz and 90210's AnnaLynne McCord are so totally on, but don't want people to know. Luckily, you don't even care, do you? [Page Six]
• Scores, a "gentleman's club" in New York City, has offered Heidi Montag $25,000 to strip. [PopCrunch]
• Paula Abdul calls the American Idol panel a dysfunctional family of sorts." To wit: "I'm the nurturing mom, Simon's the disapproving dad, and Randy's the cool brother." Oh, and forgotten stepsister, whatshername? [AP]
• Here is a sentence from a story about Agyness Deyn's love life: "Agyness Deyn is now all loved up with cheeky Scouse musician Miles Kane from The Rascals, who is also one half of The Last Shadow Puppets." Got it? [The Sun]
• Well, this should be insane: Kathy Griffin will host Comedy Central's roast on Joan Rivers. "I will be roasting Joan with more gentleness and tenderness than her latest chemical peel," quips Kath. [Variety]
• Bruce Willis' Idaho ski lodge burned down earlier this year, and the actor is planning on rebuilding bigger and better. [USA Today]
• Ooh la la: Kristin Scott Thomas will star in a production of A Little Night Music on the stage in Paris. [Variety]
• My übercrush Benicio Del Toro visited a prison in Puerto Rico Monday, telling inmates in a theater group: "I believe everyone needs a second chance… I am here to help reaffirm that as long as there is life, you can still help society in some way, you can improve yourself." [AP]
• Even though Winona Ryder has said a Heathers sequel was "in the works," the film's director, Michael Lehmann, says: "Winona brings it up every once in a while and [writer] Dan Waters and I will joke about it but as far as I know there's no script and no plans to do the sequel. I never thought it made sense to see a sequel to a movie which took place in a specific time and specific place and in which many of the characters got killed off." Well. Fuck me gently with a chain saw. [Daily Express]
• Anna Kournikova was seen with a huge diamond ring on THAT finger but tried to hide it and refused to elaborate. [AP, Page Six]
• Blind item! "Damage control! Which hard-partying actor rushed back to his local AA chapter when he was caught drinking, but is actually still on the sauce?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Quidditch is right up there with the least fun things I've done in Harry Potter. It's not a pleasant experience, it does hurt quite a lot and it's not something I would rush back to." — Daniel Radcliffe. [Telegraph]
• "I've had a cross tattooed over the tattoo I got of his name. I won't get his name removed because he was part of my life but I just want to get on with the divorce now." — Katie "Jordan" Price on estranged hubs Peter Andre. [The Sun]
• "I would like to think I haven't been influenced by him too much just by playing him for so long. I am thrilled to have this in my life, but it is separate from my life, you know? It's nice to be called Dan. And actually I started correcting people now. You do feel like a bit of an idiot doing that, but at the same time, in the long run it is better for us. I know it's better for me." — Daniel Radcliffe, who would like to remind you that he is not actually Harry Potter. [LA Times]