[Los Angeles, November 30. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, November 24. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, November 19. Image via Flynet]

[Los Angeles, November 18. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, November 16. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, November 12. Image via INF]

Los Angeles, November 7. Image via x17.

• It's Flo versus Clo! Florence Henderson has been watching Cloris Leachman on Dancing With The Stars and says: "I hope the audience doesn’t think all older people act like her. I love Cloris, but sometimes she acts like she’s not all there, or she’s wandering around the ballroom acting silly." Flo also says Leachman “is given a lot of leeway because of her age." Stop drinking haterade, Mrs. Brady. [LA Times]
• Additional DWTS gossip: Apparently Maksim Chmerkovskiy thinks Cheryl Burke and Lacey Schwimmer need to slim down: "When I first saw these women this season, I said, 'Guys, you know the camera adds 10 pounds.' You have to do something about this." [LA Times]
• Oprah is being sued by a Louisiana man who claims she and an attorney made false statements that led the FBI to arrest him on extortion charges. Wiretapping, defamation, it's a mess. [Yahoo News]
• If Obama wins, will Oprah be appointed as the Ambassador to Britain? [Times of London]
• Did Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen get a "life threatening" throat infection because she is too damn thin? [E!]

• Are you "uber-organized, hypersensitive" and located in New York? Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester needs a personal assistant. [NY Mag]
• Britney's victory in her driving without a license trial "closes a chapter on her past troubles," says her lawyer, who is paid to say such things. [People]
• Britney posted a picture of herself and her boys at a pumpkin patch on her website. [ET]
• Here's more on Fashion House, Bravo's Project Runway knockoff. [Page Six]
• Katherine Heigl on adopting a Korean baby: "It's definitely something we've talked about and want to do." [ET]
• Not only have Lindsay Lohan's Ugly Betty episodes been cut from 6 to 4, she is being cut out of some of the episodes they have already shot. [Perez Hilton]
• Oh, and Lindsay doesn't have any more roles lined up after Ugly Betty. No movies, no nothin'. [MSNBC]
• Check out Beyoncé looking rough, in character for Cadillac Records: [Just Jared]
• Jeremy Piven's on the cover of Page Six Magazine. The notorious womanizer is apparently looking to "settle down." [NY Post]
• As Raffaello Follieri was hauled off to jail, he made a statement: "I just hope that some day those who have been hurt by my action will one day forgive me." Which loosely translates to: "Sorry, Anne Hathaway. I fucked up. Can I call you when I get out in 4½ years?" [Daily Mail]
• Justin Timberlake's not the only one in the relationship who can sing: Jessica Biel grew up doing musicals and has recorded vocals for the Easy Virtue soundtrack. Apparently she has a great voice. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse was interviewed by a French TV crew via intercom at her house. She only talked about Blake Incarcerated. [Perez Hilton]
• Madonna is undergoing intense Kabbalah "anger management" to deal with her rage against Guy Ritchie. Not sure what that entails. Snapping the red string? [The Sun]
• Meanwhile Guy Ritchie looks pretty damn happy these days. [The Sun]
• Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri made a YouTube video in which she announces that she's feeling better. Then Dupri jokes: "Baby, they say you broke up with me because I threw up on you." [People]
• Heather Mills has already spent £10 million of her divorce settlement. It's been seven months. [The Sun]
• Gisele Bundchen's naked and covered in vines in ad ad campaign to save the rainforest. Hopefully it's not poison ivy on her crotch. [Mirror]
• Whoa: A 3-D live action rock 'n roll musical about Cleopatra, directed by Stephen Soderbergh and starring Catherine Zeta-Jones. Either the worst or the absolute best thing ever. [Variety]
• Headline of the day: "SOMEWHERE THERE'S A LANDFILL FULL OF EDDIE MURPHY'S UNDERWEAR." [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Is Lily Allen's new song about cocaine? Lyrics: "I’m not trying to say that I’m smelling of roses/but when will we tire of putting shit up our noses." [The Sun]
• Bjork! In the news: She's campaigning for a more environmental approach to Iceland's natural resources. [ITN]
• Miley Cyrus on that 20-year-old model she's been haning out with, Justin Gaston: "He's been a really great friend more than anything." When asked if they are dating, Miley said: "Maybe. Maybe not." [People]
• Uh-oh, Miley got a lecture from her dad. She's supposed to be focusing on her career, not boys. Someone has to be the cash cow in the family! [The Sun]
• Ali Lohan has applied for a work permit in L.A. As a minor, she needs papers so she can get her singing career going. Apparently she's already been recording in, um, a hotel-casino in Vegas. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton and Jordan met in London. The Four Horsemen were seen on the horizon. [The Sun]
• Macaulay Culkin: Coming to TV. Upcoming NBC drama Kings will also star Ian McShane. [EW]
• Bianca Jagger's been evicted from her rent-stabilized Manhattan apartment. Someting about being on a tourist visa and claiming it as a "primary residence." A Park Avenue space for $4,614 a month doesn't really sound like a deal. [AP]
• If you were hoping for a wax figure of Zac Efron you're in luck. He's at Madam Tussauds in Las Vegas. [UPI]
• The Bonnie Hunt Show: doomed. [Jossip]
• Check out this Happy Days inspired Obama ad. [BoingBoing]
• Chelsea Handler's show, Chelsea Lately, is being renewed through 2009. [MediaWeek]
• Caroline Rhea gave birth to a baby girl on Monday: Ava Rhea Economopoulos. "We wanted the shortest first name possible, since her last name is the alphabet," says the new mom. [People]
• Been caught stealing? Jane's Addiction will perform for the second time this year. Reunion in the works? [Reuters]
• Isaac Hayes left nothing to Scientology in his will. [Fox 411]
• Please please please let me get what I want: A Morrissey memoir! [NY Times]
• Speaking of which: A Smiths reunion? [The Sun]
• During a concert, Jay-Z dedicated "99 Problems" to McCain and a "homegirl," described as "the one who says 'You betcha.'" [ABC News]
• Heidi Klum wearing Rami Kashou! [Blogging Project Runway]
• Little Britain's Matt Lucas divorced his husband; now they're in a custody battle over the dog. [The Sun]
• A man sued along with Jay Leno over a car dealer has killed himself. [TMZ]
• Debra Messing likes being a redhead because she never got any work as a brunette. [Daily Express]
• "This (rumor) has been floating around for a while. I've seen different notions of it. I doubt it'll be me and Brad. I know Brad can't sing. Reznor would be about the right vibe for it, I guess." — Ed Norton, on the rumor that there's gonna be a Fight Club musical with music by Nine Inch Nails star Trent Reznor. [Daily Express]
• "I was being objectified, but actually that’s not a bad thing to feel. I knew exactly what was going on when I did that shot. There’s a conscious decision to everything I do. For me to say, 'Oh, God! I didn’t realize that would happen!' sounds incredibly naïve. I look at that picture, and my only thought now is that I certainly don’t look like that anymore. For Quantum of Solace, I made a decision that I wanted to get bigger and get muscles, because Bond is older and has probably been training." — Daniel Craig, on the infamous swimsuit shot from his first Bond film. [Just Jared]
• "Obama would be the better Bond because — if he’s true to his word — he’d be willing to quite literally look the enemy in the eye and go toe-to-toe with them. McCain, because of his long service and experience, would probably be a better M (James Bond’s boss). There is, come to think of it, a kind of Judi Dench quality to McCain." — Daniel Craig, in Parade magazine. [MSNBC]
• The kids are my priority, so it's possible that from now on I will make fewer movies. I may even stop altogether. I no longer have the ambition I had in my 20s." — Angelina Jolie. [People]
• "Usually people fall in love and everything revolves around the ritual of marriage. Children are an afterthought. We did everything backwards. But sooner or later, it will be the kids who ask us. They see films and start asking questions. Such as, 'Why are Shrek and Fiona married and you're not?'" — Angelina Jolie. [Rush & Molloy]
• "He's got to be that guy that we all just secretly want to live his life. Even if it's just for a week I mean wouldn't that be incredible? If you had to pick one person he would be the guy for me, I would want to be him for a week." — Charlize Theron on Richard Branson. [The Star]
• "Hearst Corporation, which my family owns, continues to host parties even as it folds magazines like CosmoGirl. It seems excessive… At least Hearst recently cancelled the company Christmas bash. It's time to work through this crisis, not party through it." — model and heiress Lydia Hearst. [Page Six]
• "I am constantly surprised by this huge country. It’s like a never-ending novel with each page more exciting and bizarre than the last. Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved London, it’s a city where being unusual is accepted. I grew up there, walked its cobbled streets and frequented its infamous haunts. The skies are always grey and the weather is freezing but the place is alive and vibrant with culture. The decision to leave my homeland was difficult but I’m happy I made it. New York is where I finally feel at home. Driving over the Brooklyn Bridge at night in a yellow cab and gazing out over the tops of the skyscrapers, there’s no place I’d rather be." — Noted poet, Peaches Geldof. [Daily Express]
• "I knew the Geldof girls from years ago through their dad Bob, so I've seen them grow up. I think Peaches is just working out her way in the world. If she's happy being married then that's great. It's good to be crazy and make mistakes when you're growing up. Then when you're 80 you can look back and laugh." —Geri Halliwell. [Mirror]

[Los Angeles, October 22. Image via x17]

• Jennifer Aniston is "said to be" expecting John Mayer's baby. [Mirror]
• Jen may have asked John to marry her. This is according to the cover of Star magazine. More later in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• The three guys who say Lindsay Lohan held them hostage during an alleged alcohol-fueled drive have sued over the incident. Remember back in July 2007, when she hijacked a car and sped through Malibu? Her lawyer says the suit is absurd: "These guys had the night of their lives, playing with the radio and leaving the vehicle at one point and getting back in." [TMZ]
• Speaking of Lindsay, she and Samantha Ronson, Eve, Kevin Connolly and Stacy Keibler went swimming at the Roosevelt Hotel in L.A. a week after there was a dead body found in the pool. Apparently the staff never drained the pool after the body was removed and celebs and guests "were swimming in the unchanged water." As the kids say: Vom. [Page Six]

• The rumors about Katherine Heigl adopting a baby from Korea seem to be true. [Perez Hilton]
• Is George Clooney back with old flame Krista Allen? [Rush & Molloy]
• Rocco Ritchie: Seen wearing a New York Yankees T-shirt. Ouch! What will daddy say when he finds out you're celebrating the team of Mommy's new love interest? [Daily Mail]
• This report says Madonna and A-Rod will be together by Christmas. [The Sun]
• Madonna wants the kids to be with her at Christmastime because there's no Christmas in Kabbalah and she doesn't want them to have the traditional English Christmas that Guy wants to give them. [Mirror]
• Team Madonna is saying that Guy Ritchie "lived like a king" off of Madonna's money and never spent a dime of his own cash. [Daily Mail]
• Does Guy Ritchie have a new ladyfriend? Us Weekly says he's hooking up with British actress Kelly Reilly, who's in Sherlock Holmes, which Guy is directing. [Page Six]
• Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars was rushed to the hospital after having severe stomach pains backstage. [TMZ]
• Toni Braxton was eliminated from DWTS, by the by. [CNN]
• Take a minute to LOL at this picture of Justin Timberlake trying so very hard not to stare at Rihanna's ass. [Daily Mail]
• Mariah Carey calls married life "amazing" and hints she might have kids. [ET]
• Michael Vick will plead guilty to state dogfighting charges in hopes of securing an early release from federal prison and possibly returning to American football next year. [Yahoo News]
• Brad Pitt, who's staying in a mansion in Germany while filming that Tarantino movie, has changed the beer taps in his house from lager to Guinness. I want a spigot that issues forth margaritas! [The Sun]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham talks about photo shoots with her husband: "I'm hands on. I will take every shoot and pick it to pieces whereas David is a lot more easy-going — and he's the good looking one." Plus! "I know I'm not overtly sexy to most men. I'm just not one of those women." [The Sun]
• David Beckham is being "loaned" to futbol team AC Milan. [BBC Sport]
• Holly Madison and Criss Angel: Seen "super touchy feely" at the CatHouse Lounge at the Luxor Hotel in Vegas, where the illusionist has show. An unnamed source says: "They were completely enamored by each other as they kissed and held hands." There's a joke here about a magician and a bunny, right? [Perez Hilton]
• Kim Kardashian spent her 28th birthday in an Alabama medical center, where boyfriend Reggie Bush was recovering from surgery after injuring his knee. There's a snap of her dressed in a hospital gown. [People]
• The memorabilia dealer who led O.J. Simpson to a hotel room where an infamous robbery occurred filed a lawsuit Tuesday against the Dr. Phil show claiming his remarks in an interview were spliced to change their meaning. [AP]
• Ooh, here's an interview with Vincent Kartheiser, also known as Pete Campbell from Mad Men. A snippet: "Pete is an annoying guy, but you feel sorry for him in the way you feel sorry for Steve Carell in The Office. Pete's life made him who he is and I think he wonders why people aren't more sympathetic. 'Why doesn't everyone like me? Can't they see what I've been through to get here? Why can't they just give me what I deserve?'" [ONTD, via London Free Press]
• According to a statement by AMC, "the future of Mad Men on AMC is not in question." [LA Times]
• Actress Kate Walsh is heading to a swing state: "I think we're all sort of holding our breath a little bit, counting the hours down. We're still working arduously toward the goal of Obama being president—or at least I am. [Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice creator] Shonda Rhimes and I are going to Ohio to campaign this coming weekend, so we're doing everything we can." [E!]
• Eminem is backing Obama. [Mother Jones]
• Tina Fey's going to be shot by Annie Leibovitz for the cover of Vanity Fair; this posting's author muses, "I wonder if her back will be exposed." That does seem to be a Leibovitz fave! [ONTD, via Radar]
• Did you know that Tina Fey glues her ears down in order to play Sarah Palin? [Reuters]
• William Shatner says that George Takei has a "sickness" and a "psychosis" and doesn't know why he wasn't invited to Takei's wedding in September. [Perez Hilton]
• Blind item! "Which reality star has-been should tone down the drug use? The dethroned tabloid subject brought two eight balls of coke (7 grams) to a weekend getaway. She was last seen at 7 a.m., trying to find someone to play charades with her." [Rush & Molloy]
• Ashton Kutcher's been coaching football and he loves it. "I'm pleased to report that my Harvard Westlake football team is 4-2. I am blessed to step on the gridiron every week with a great group of individuals that understand that the collective force is greater that any individual can ever be," he says. "Though coaching a football team is no great step for mankind I'm finding that it's a great step for me. I'm not there to teach them, they are there to teach me." [People]
• Kate Moss wants to buy a house in Puerto Rico, a "special place where she can escape from the limelight." Don't we all??? [The Sun]
• Britney will appear on The X Factor with a "raunchy" routine. [Mirror]
• Is Britney going as Shaved-Head Britney for Halloween??? [ONTD]
• Here are some new promo shots of Christina Aguilera: Big hair, striped tights, lollipop, rocket, "sexy secretary answering the phone." [The.Life Files]
• Here's a picture of Jude Law looking like a "1970s German porn star." [The Sun]
• News that David Duchovny will sue the Mail newspaper for alleging that he was having an affair with a tennis coach has reached the UK. [Guardian]
• In this "10 Things He Doesn't Want You To Know" story, we learn that Simon Cowell likes to watch Desperate Housewives and read Jackie Collins novels. Plus 9 other things similarly mundane. [Mirror]
• Daniel Craig has turned down the chance to play Thor on the big screen. [Daily Express]
• Intel on upcoming TV shows! What to expect on Lost, NCIS, Brothers & Sisters and more! (If you like Desmond from Lost, you ought to watch.) [EW]
• Milla Jovovich's daughter, Ever, is turning one; Milla recalls the kid's birth last year: "I was in labor for 72 hours," she says. "I was up for 48 hours, for two nights. I started Halloween night. By the time I went into the hospital, it was the night of November 2. I finally went into the hospital and had the epidural." [People]
• Charlie Sheen's new bride is knocked up and word is: Twins. [Perez Hilton]
• Oh, Jesus: Mel Gibson has given his church, the Holy Family Catholic Church in Malibu, $10 million. Mel now has a church with tax free assets of $42 million; Holy Family is not recognized by the Catholic Church. Gibson is the single contributor to the church every year. [Fox 411]
• Bridget Moynahan will costar with Donnie Wahlberg in a new series from über-producer Jerry Bruckheimer for TNT. It's a cop drama set in Boston called Bunker Hill. [E!]
• Katie Price, aka Glamour Model Jordan, is no longer friends with most of her bridesmaids from her 2005 wedding, yawn. [The Sun]
• Yikes: Enrique Iglesias' plane made an emergency landing on Monday after the pilot had to shut down one of the engines while crossing the Atlantic. [Mirror]
• Brad Paisley was "arrested" at the Nashville airport in a prank orchestrated by Jewel. [People]
• A 114-year-old Illinois house where much of the action in the 1993 comedy Groundhog Day took place may soon become a bed and breakfast. [UPI]
• Headline of the day: "Paul McCartney's Wax Head Left Behind On Train." [NPR]
• "[My career] has become kind of large and it really began for me very, very small. Like me alone in my bedroom with my four-track and a pair of headphones. I just need to go back there for a while to get my bearings again and then know what to do next. I just need to let it rest for a minute." — Feist, on taking a break after touring. [Perez Hilton]
• "I gained almost 15 pounds to play the role. It was way easier – and tastier – than having to lose so much weight for Dreamgirls." — Beyoncé, on playing Etta James in Cadillac Records. [People]
• "I don't feel the need to get married. But Ashley wants children. I'll be a great aunt or godmother." — Mary-Kate Olsen. [Star Magazine]
• "Paris Hilton is still bugging me about "Stupid Girls." She came up to me in a nightclub a couple of months back and she said, 'I hope you realize that the person I seem to be in the press is really just an act and the real me is really smart'. I said, 'Just get over it. The song was like years ago. Quit bugging me.' I still take a pop at Jessica Simpson in my new video. That girl hates me. But it's just that her name happens to be a good rhyme fit for lots of lyrics. Those girls are something else. There's part of me that thinks they're such losers, but there's also a part of me that admires how they actually play the game. I'm so bad at playing the Hollywood game. I just hate all that fake stuff." — Pink. [ONTD]
• "Jamie Lynn is NOT pregnant and I wish everyone would stop being so judgemental because if you weren’t having sex at 16 it probabaly means you were very unattractive. She just happened to get pregnant and then did the right thing by not having an abortion." — Diane, a "friend" of Jamie Lynn Spears. [CelebSlam]
• "To be honest, there's nothing I want to talk about less than politics. I'd rather vomit and lick it up. I like Obama, but he's not gonna win. Trust me, I know my people." — Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders in Blender. [Page Six]

• Miley Cyrus, 15 and Justin Gaston, 20, were "all over each other" backstage at the Christian Audigier show at LA Fashion Week. Justin walked in the show, and everytime he passed, he would blow a kiss and wink at his teenage girlfriend, and she, witnesses say, "licked her lips seductively as he passed her." A source heard Miley saying she was going to skip the after party to stay at Justin's and have a party of her own. [Page Six]
• Britney's dad testified in her misdemeanor driving-without-a-license trial Thursday that California is not her permanent residence. "Her home is Louisiana," he said. Um, perjury? Anyone? [People]
• Oh, Britney is building a house in Louisiana. This much is true. [TMZ]
• Look for Britney on the January cover of Glamour magazine. Shot by freakin' Patrick Demarchelier. [NY Mag]
• Yeah, so John Mayer spent his birthday with Jennifer Aniston. He had a party at the Grand Havana Room, a members-only restaurant and cigar club in L.A. They totally sat next to each other and "seemed happy." [People]
• In Angelina Jolie's interview with the New York Times, she says she wants her kids to see Mr. And Mrs. Smith someday: "Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love." Team Aniston peeps think that she's admitting Brad cheated on Jen with her. But Team Jolie folks are like, hey, it is when they met, and they denied they were together physically. The threads over on this posting are crazytown. [ONTD]

• Surprise, surprise: Amy Winehouse didn't show up for her DJing gig at that pub in London. She was "bedridden." [Mirror]
• Katherine Heigl: Adopting a Korean baby. So says the National Enquirer. Katherine's big sister Meg was adopted from Korea more than 30 years ago and has had a "profound impact" on Katherine's life. [ONTD]
• Awesome pix of Justin Timberlake and Ellen Degeneres playing golf. [ET]
• Madonna and Guy have not been speaking to each other for a while, because they allegedly "cannot be in a room together for more than a few minutes without having a shouting match." Think of the children! [Perez Hilton]
• Um, this report says Madonna's marriage began sliding towards divorce after her hubby’s "unsympathetic" reaction when she fell off a horse and broke eight bones. [The Sun]
• A source close to Guy says "It wasn't just one thing. They just lost their connection." [People]
• Madge and Guy won't battle over money, but they will fight over custody of the kids. They both hired high-powered lawyers. [Daily Mail, Telegraph]
• Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone says Kabbalah killed the marriage. [The Sun]
• Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal's parents: Officially filed for divorce. Naomi and Stephen Gyllenhaal were married in 1977. Is it too early to start drinking? [TMZ]
• DJ AM has actually escaped death twice: "In the burn center, they did a scan and found that I had a blood clot that in this flight could have traveled to my heart and I could have died," he says. While still at the burn center in Georgia, he was put on blood-thinning medication. [People]
• Contrary to earlier reports, Steve Wonder's house did not burn down in the L.A. fires. Overjoyed? [TMZ]
• Tea Leoni in More magazine, talking about her new movie, Manure: "But at the same time, we have this incredible cast with Billy Bob Thornton, who is maybe my new favorite person in the world." [ONTD]
• Billy Bob Thornton swears he is not the reason David Duchovny and Tea Leoni split: His publicist issued a statement which reads: "Billy Bob Thornton and Téa Leoni are just friends." Strong words! [E!]
• Kathy Griffin's says Bravo claims she's signed on for another season of My Life On The D-List — but she hasn't, and she's "trying to extract tens more dollars from Bravo." [Perez Hilton]
• Is Bruce Willis getting married? He took his model girlfriend Emma Heming to Cartier in Beverly Hills and they totally looked at rings. [Daily Express]
• Mena Suvari's engaged and wants a "fairy-tale wedding." [Yahoo News]
• Actress and Brooklynite Hope Davis on the recession: "Even the little spa on my corner is advertising 50 percent off facials. Everybody’s suffering; it’s going to affect everybody." [NY Mag]
• Are you ready for an Eminem comeback? He's releasing a book on October 21 and an album later in the year. Here are some personal pictures that will be in the book, including snaps of Em as a kid, a picture of his first mix tape and shots of him with his daughter. [EW]
• Susan Sarandon: Guest of honor at the second annual Middle East International Film Festival in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates. She said: "In the US we don't have the opportunity to see these films; even English(-language) documentaries are hard to find. Festivals are a wonderful opportunity for people to see documentaries they might not normally see." Plus, the formation of a Middle Eastern chapter of Women in Film and Television was announced. [Reuters]
• Daisy Lowe broke up with her boyfriend Will Blondelle because records by her ex, Mark Ronson were being played in a club. Yeah, I dunno. [Mirror]
• Hadn't heard this, but Kenneth Branagh will not direct Jude Law in Hamlet as planned. Branagh dropped out due to a scheduling conflict. [UPI]
• Headline of the day: Phil Spector "Used Obscene Language About Women And Stated They Should Be Shot." [Daily Mail]
• James Taylor's playing five free concerts for Obama in the election battleground state of North Carolina. "It's a great relief to see someone running who believes government can do good things for people," he says. He adds, "I've seen fire and I've seen rain." [AP]
• The Supreme Court says Survivor champ Richard Hatch must serve out the rest of his four-year, three-month prison sentence for failing to pay the IRS taxes on the million bucks he won. [E!]
• Chris Kattan and Sunshine Tutt officially divorced, after two months of wedded bliss. What's up with SNL alums and short (heh) marriages? [E!]
• Stephen Baldwin on Barack Obama: "If he wins the election, he'll hurt me. He's a cultural terrorist." [Perez Hilton]
• "I lie all the time. The last lie I told was the last time someone invited me to a wedding, or a christening, or a party. I can't say, 'I don't really like you that much, I'm worried about the other people you'd invite; a wedding bores me stupid, I think it's ridiculous and pointless and I'd rather sit at home in my [underwear] drinking wine." —Ricky Gervais. [Guardian]
• "I strongly feel there needs to be a new way forward. Barack Obama is pushing things in the right direction. I’m excited about the election. Unfortunately, things will probably get dirty. I hope Obama can stay above the fray … I’m hopeful for the first time in a long, long while. It’s one of the most exciting elections in my lifetime." — Daniel Craig, who knows he can't vote, but is watching US politics very closely. [MSNBC]
• "I don't like guns much, and the reason I don't like them is because I do like them. If you put one in my hand, I feel incredibly omnipotent. And I hate that truth." — Colin Farrell. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I’m never at home and every woman gets sick of it. If I was them, I wouldn’t put up with me for too long, and they don’t. I wonder if I’m going to be relegated to three-year relationships for the rest of my life." — George Clooney. [Mirror]

• Barneys Creative Director Simon Doonan and designer Jonathan Adler were wed yesterday at City Hall in San Francisco! This article states that they "sealed the union with a spirited sprint down the glorious grand staircase." Mr. Doonan wore a Liberty print shirt, Barneys Co-op jeans, a Prada V-neck and a Thom Browne velvet jacket. Mr. Adler wore Barneys Co-op jeans, V-neck, a Fred Perry sweater, and Adidas sneakers. [SFGate, Photo by Thor Swift]
• If Prop. 8 passes in California, "it would be the first time in American history that an existing minority right would be taken away by the vote of a majority." The Christian conservatives are ahead, in terms of fundraising. Karen Ocamb's article indicates that Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, Sir Elton John and Melissa Etheridge have not donated to the cause to fight Prop 8, according to the California Secretary of State’s Campaign Finance website. Ocamb writes: "While their visibility as openly LGBT celebrities and entertainment power players is important, their financial absence from the specific fight to save the fundamental right of same-sex couples to marry is hurting." [In L.A. Magazine]
• Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in All My Sons last night and Tom Cruise loved it. "It was extraordinary," he says. [Yahoo News]

• Heidi Klum is freaking out about hosting the Emmys on Sunday. She says: "I get nervous when so many people are looking at me. It’s live and you go on stage and no one asks questions. To go out and just talk is terrifying." Heidi, when it doubt, say "deezigners." Everyone loves that! [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Ivana Trump flew coach. [Page Six]
• Pink's song about heartbreak, "So What," is her first No.1 song on Billboard's Hot 100. She says the track is not entirely autobiographical, but the opening line is, "I guess I just lost my husband." (Watch the video!) [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman speaks about her baby and her hubby! She says: "To be given the blessing of a child at this stage of my life was wonderful." She also claims she and Keith can't stand to be away from each other. "We start to hurt after seven days. I've never wanted to live my life apart from the person I love. If you're going to be with someone, you're with them, you’re committed to them. I'm not sort of flitting around. If I fall, I fall — that's it. We gently fell into each other. We were two lonely people who went, 'Ah, there you are.'" [The Sun]
• After shooting 30 Rock with Oprah, Tina Fey says: "I would like to announce that we are officially best friends." [Chicago Tribune]
• You know how Amy Poehler is getting her own show? Will Arnett will be on it! Her husband! [Onion AV Club]
• Justin Timberlake is planning on writing a song for his friend Ellen DeGeneres and her new bride Portia de Rossi. "I actually made them a promise and I'm gonna stick to it," he says. Let you whip me if I misbehave… [UPI]
• Simon Cowell uses so much Botox he can no longer scowl. He says: "To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It simply works. You do it once a year — who cares?" Um, Simon, do you only brush your teeth only once a year?? [The Sun]
• George Clooney's character in Burn After Reading uses a sex ramp; apparently sales of this item are suddenly up. [Daily Express]
• Katherine Heigl earns about 22 times what her Grey's Anatomy costar Ellen Pompeo makes, thanks to her film career. (Other Grey's salaries are compared here, too.) [Portƒolio]
• Val Kilmer as the governor of New Mexico? Bill Richardson says yes! "I like the idea. Val Kilmer is a New Mexican; he was Batman. You know there have been successful actors going into politics." [Shakesville]
• Last night, Audrina Patridge maybe moved out of the house that she shared with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth. Plus: Rumors are swirling that she's getting her own spin-off show. Please let JustinBobby be in it! [TMZ]
• Oooh the Jack White/Alicia Keys Bond theme! It's called "Another Way To Die." Listen here. [Concrete Loop]
• So you know how Robert Downey Jr. is going to play Sherlock Holmes in a flick directed by Guy Ritchie? Jude Law will play Watson. [Ain't It Cool]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali will do another 13 episodes of their cooking show; this time in Italy. [Perez Hilton]
• Contrary to reports, two of Paris Hilton's dogs were NOT eaten by a coyote. [Page Six, People]
• Pat O'Brien is leaving The Insider. [People]
• Ryan O'Neal's lawyer says: "Those were not Ryan's drugs, he doesn't use drugs." [People]
• Gary Coleman's lawyer says "he did nothing wrong." This comes after Coleman allegedly ran over a dude who tried to take his picture with a camera phone. [People]
• Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu tour: "Overloaded with blinding dazzle, pyrotechnics and gaudy style over substance. The myriad production numbers were reminiscent of a poor Vegas revue and emotionally distant, the band and backup singers bolstering her vocals hidden away, leaving one to wonder if some — or most — of it was prerecorded." [Reuters]
• Is Britney Spears getting special treatment for her driving without a valid license trial? [AP]
• Broke oil "heir" Brandon Davis owes money all over town. [Page Six]
• Is Kathy Griffin moving her Life On The D-List show from Bravo to some other network? [Page Six]
• Denise Richards' show: Getting canceled? [Page Six]
• Joan Prather of Eight Is Enough was arrested after dragging an L.A. County Sheriff's deputy down the Pacific Coast Highway with her car. [TMZ]
• China's Ugly Betty is not ugly enough. [Guardian]
• Speaking of Ugly Betty, America Ferrera says Henry and Gio will be back on Season 3. [EW]
• Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez: Officially divorced. That was quick! [TMZ]
• LL Cool J is pissed because Jessica Simpson's album beat his on the charts. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood's estranged wife says: "I'm enjoying my new freedom." [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher doesn't know how to spell step-daughter Tallulah's name. [Perez Hilton]
• Does Playboy treat black women like crap? [TMZ]
• The Spice Girls have beaten Led Zeppelin for an award for the best music reunion. Girl powah! [BBC News]
• Tracy Chapman is releasing her first new album in years, and you can listen to a track here. [Perez Hilton]
• "I do believe in marriage… But I just think for me, it’s not a desperate kind of thing. In America it’s definitely something that seems to be a major goal with every woman – the big wedding day. I don’t need that. I want total commitment and spiritual connection, and I am lucky because that’s what I’ve got. One of the things that first attracted me to my boyfriend is his brain. He’s very well-read and really sexy to me. Brains are the most important thing to me, because I feel I lack them. I want them from the man I am with. I love a well-read man – that is such a turn-on." — Eva Mendes. [Mirror]

[Los Angeles, September 2. Image via Flynet]

[Los Angeles, August 25. Image via x17]

[Hollywood, August 12. Image via x17.]

[Glendale, July 29. Image via x17]

Anyway, Dargis takes issue, not only with the smug step brothers of the title, but also with the portrayal of the women they love. "So, once again, there is the spectacle and pathos of the sexually stunted immature male, here times two: Brennan (Mr. Ferrell) and Dale (Mr. Reilly)," Dargis writes. "Mary Steenburgen, as Brennan’s mother, Nancy, takes the fantasy parent role: she’s saintly, sexy — her relaxed, ready smile telegraphs satisfaction — and endlessly patient. She looks good for a woman who would have had her youngest at about 14."

Dargis goes on to skewer the film further for its semi-insulting portrayal of both men and women, but really, it seems like the cardinal sin in this comedy is that it's not especially funny. I don't really mind so much if comedies don't show women in the best light or elevate the adolescent male psyche, so long as they're entertaining. But Dargis' description of Ferrell and Reilly — "They’re losers that only a mother, an entertainment manager or a gang of self-satisfied comedy insiders could love" — makes me think this movie is both vaguely insulting and entirely unfunny. Come on Apatow and Co., we've seen Freaks and Geeks, and even the actual adolescents in that show were more mature than these dingbats. You can do better. Whatever, I'll probably see it anyway. (You're talking to a woman who saw Let's Go To Prison in theaters. I have no standards.)

Once More To The Well Of Goofball Comedy [NYT]

Earlier: What To Expect When You're Expecting Too Much From A Movie
Now That Her Paycheck Has Cleared, Katherine Heigl Calls Knocked Up Sexist

[Los Feliz, June 23. Image via Flynet]

Us
This cover, showing a beaming Michelle and Barack Obama emblazoned with the words "Why Barack Loves Her," is perhaps part of the subtle image makeover we referred to earlier. Us seems very concerned with portraying the clearly awesome Michelle as a non-threatening soccer mom, and more importantly, differentiating her from Hillary. Says a friend: "[Michelle] is not the least bit interested in being a co-president or participating in policy decisions…Her first priority as a first lady would be that the girls are OK, and to continue to be the outstanding mother that she is." We always go straight to Us for astute political coverage. In other news, Hollywood wags think Katherine Heigl's career will be fine despite her ankling the Emmys. Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee are back together for the umpteenth time. They're like Bobby and Whitney but with exponentially more body modification. Finally, here's some news for all the hipsters out there: supermodel Helena Christensen has been "cozying up" to Interpol lead singer Paul Banks for over six months!
Grade: C (a timeshare in Cleveland)
In Touch
Rut roh! Angelina and Brad's CRISIS AT HOME in huge pink letters! They have a lot of babies, it's exhausting, it's possibly pulling them apart, and so on, and so forth. The only good part of this four page spread is the sidebar where Dr. Drew gives Angelina the business about her whole Mother Theresa routine. "I've never seen anyone remit heroin completely," Dr. Drew said. "Is she in recovery? If she's in recovery, I don't seen any evidence of it, because people in recovery invest themselves in simple, selfless acts of service, not global self-serving acts." Burn!!! On to matters of life and death: Did Mariah Carey have plastic surgery? Survey says: Probs. Her yo-yo dieting is well known and after her most recent weight loss, she has mysterious, Tara Reid-reminiscent ripples on her tummy. The liposuction of Mimi! Bret Michaels bonded with Sherri Shepherd when he went on The View because they both have diabeetus, but he wants to do it with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. "Barbara Walters was pretty hot," Bret admitted, "but Elisabeth Hasslebeck and me, I'm just telling her, if her husband ever falls out of the picture…" Scariest tabloid news of the week: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt spent $10,000 on guns because Spencer wants to be "prepared for anything." Can't wait for the Branch Davidianish FBI raid on the Speidi compound…
Grade: C+ (an unheated shack on the coast of Maine)
Star
More Brangelina business. Angie has panic attacks due to the stress of her pregnancy and Shiloh's terrible twos. Apparently she's worried about how she's going to handle "two more needy little ones in an already chaotic household." Uh, probably with the army of nannies she already employs. Miley Cyrus reportedly gets thousands of love letters from prisoners, "who claim they've taped her picture up in their cells." Creepy to the max!! Was Matthew McConaughey macking on strange ladies during a recent trip to Nicaragua while his super-pregs girlfriend Camilla Alves languished at home? If the photos are any indication (see Fig. A below), the answer is yes. An amused onlooker tells Star, "He grabbed the DJ's microphone, crawled onto a table and screamed 'I lost my flip-flops!' in broken Spanish!" Britney and Jamie Lynn are none too pleased about mom Lynne's forthcoming memoir, Through The Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, which includes such revelations as Britney bit her nails as a kid. Shocking! And lastly, Jen wants boyfriend of thirty seconds John Mayer to marry her, but he's not down. Hmm, sounds dubious.
Grade: D+ (a metal trailer in Death Valley)
Ok!
Jeebus. Even more Angelina news. This time she's not stressed. In fact, she's so into all her babies, Ok! says, she's looking to adopt another boy. She'll get the lucky young tyke from the same Ethiopian orphanage where she found wee Zahara. Ange wants to "balance the races" in her household and since Maddox has Pax, now it's "Z's turn." Speaking of babies, Britney will charter a jet to Kentwood, Louisiana, the second lil' sis Jamie goes into labor. There are rumblings that Prince William and on-again, off-again flame Kate Middleton will be married next summer. Why did Anne Hathaway stay with scuzzy Raffaello Follieri for so long? Because he's a baaaad boy, of course. "[Women] believe that if we are wonderful enough, beautiful enough or sexy enough, we will cure them of their bad ways, and make ourselves all the more beautiful," Dr. Jenn Berman tells Ok!. Ugh. In other douche-dating news, David Spade says "girls date me because I'm normal." Good to know.
Grade: D- (a motel room on Three Mile Island)


Life & Style
Just when you thought she was getting better, L&S dredges up some old dirt: Britney tried to off herself twice, says a new book. Ian Halperin, an investigative journalist who is writing a bio of Brit tells L&S, "I can't divulge too much, but I will say the suicide attempts are true. I know all the details of both of them>" The book is also about how "sleazy and destructive" her handlers were, and how Britney is obsessed with Marilyn Monroe's tragic fate. The formerly self-destructive Nicole Richie is "back to her old ways" and is losing weight. She and Joel madden are fighting a lot and she's stressed out by baby Harlow. Unlike Nicole Richie, another Nicole (Kidman) is trying to gain weight. She thinks her baby bump is too small and wishes it were bigger. She also wishes that her jugs were bigger. Are Mariah and Nick already on the rocks? "I give the marriage six months, tops," says an insider.
Grade: D- (a teepee in Chernobyl)
Fig. A:

Why, it's 90210's Kelly Taylor. "Born to a cokehead mom and an absentee dad, Kelly, in no particular order, lost her virginity via date rape, ODed on diet pills, was badly burned in a house fire, joined a cult, dated a cokehead, became an addict, was single-white-femaled, miscarried, got shot by carjackers, developed amnesia, was sexually harassed by a member of the medical profession, was attacked and raped in an alley, eventually killed her rapist in revenge, and lived through dozens of other comparatively piddling traumas." And Kel's reaction to these unfortunate incidents was always meek acceptance.

An exception to the rule is Buffy, but as we all know, Buffy existed in a supernatural universe. The ladies of Lost are similarly kick ass, but again: they live in a fractured world, not one that is striving for realism. Are there female characters out there taking names who exist in semi-realistic settings? Glenn Close on Damages comes to mind; so does Mariska Hartigay on Law and Order SVU. What other characters are avoiding victimhood successfully (and no, hookers and doormats don't count).

Heigl Says No Thanks, Emmy, It's Undeserved [AP]
The Beautiful And The Damned: From Kelly Taylor To Meredith Grey, The Long-suffering Ladies Of Prime-time TV [Radar]

[Los Angeles, June 8. Image via INFDaily.]

Here's a photo of Cameron Diaz from the 2003 Oscar Ceremony. Lovely dress! Completely normal pose! She looks darling. I could not find one photo of a woman posed with her arm in teapot territory.
Now it's 2004. Sofia Coppola: nary a bent arm in sight. I think I found a single woman who was in the dreaded pose, but she wasn't even famous.
2005: in this year, early adopters began embracing this unnatural looking position.
But as you'll see in this next photo of Cate Blanchett from '05, not all celebrities had jumped on the teapot bandwagon.
Oh lord. In this photo from 2006, Felicity Huffman looks about as natural as a Stepford Wife exhibiting the increasingly popular teapot position. Looking through all the photos, about 60% of starlets have embraced it by this point.
Of course, O.G. bitches like Dame Judi Dench will never submit to the tyranny of the teapot.
Crikey! Cate Blanchett has finally fallen prey to the teapot's allure in this photo from 2007. Noooooo.
Why, Marion Cotillard…whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!? Right before she won the Oscar for Best Actress, Maid Marion is seen here, looking like she's full of Earl Grey. So sad, but by 2008, a good 95% of actresses have teapotitis.
This is probably why Julie Christie lost the Oscar to Cotillard. She refused to fall in line with the rest of the tea service. I smell a conspiracy!!!

[All images via The Official Oscar Website]

[Riverside, CA. Image via INFDaily.]

• Synth! Dance beat! Breathy vocals! It's Lindsay Lohan's new track, "Bossy." And guess what? It doesn't totally suck. "Stop touching me without permission," she sings. "I'm jut a little bossy. If I want it, I get it — Now." Ha! Like that fur coat? But is the song as good as Kelis's "Bossy"? Well, LL's track was written by Ne-Yo. Lemme know what you think. I may have to listen again. And Again. And then one more time, with rollerskates on. I'm so embarrassed. [People]
  
• Meanwhile: Lindsay's dad Michael is pissed that the Mingling Moms named ex-wife Dina a "Top Mom." He says: "Are you kidding? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling 'Oh, [bleep],' when she saw the paparazzi." Meanwhile, Dina says: "He's on a mission to destroy me." Wow, this kind of stuff must be great for the kids to hear. [Page Six]
  
• So Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon spill all their wedding details to People, including the fact that they get along because they are 'both eternally 12 years old" and Mariah now has a "Mrs. Cannon" tattoo. [Yahoo News]

• Yeah, Amy Winehouse was arrested yesterday after video of her smoking crack and snorting cocaine made its way to police. [Rush & Molloy]
• But! Amy has already been released. She was not charged. [Reuters]
• Funnyman Craig Ferguson is writing a memoir! America On Purpose, due out next year, will touch on his addictions to drugs and booze, failed suicide attempt and career as a punk rocker. Raise your hand if you'd love to hear him read it to you. That accent! [Page Six]
• George Clooney was at the Hearst building yesterday for an Esquire photo shoot and women lost their freaking minds. [Page Six]
• After the Costume Institute gala, Jay-Z and Beyoncé — still in her ballgown — knocked on the door of a just-closed burger joint and ordered cheeseburgers and fries to go. [Page Six]
• Ashlee Simpson's boobs are big so she must be pregnant, right? "It's probably just a great bra, like any girl's secret," says her rep. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper DMX was arrested for driving 114 mph in a 1966 Chevy Nova. Y'all gonna make him lose his mind up in here. [TMZ]
• R. Kelly's lawyers have filed a motion to delay his trial... again. It's been five years already. [TMZ]
• "It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book ... It speaks to her true character." — Star Jones. [TMZ]
• Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee's divorce is proceeding; Russell is seeking joint custody of their two daughters. Both parties are asking the court to deny spousal support for the other since they each have more money than they know what to do with. [People]
• Brooke Shields is "starring" in a new campaign from Royal Velvet towels. Think of her when you shower. [Brandweek]
• Nicole Richie says: "Joel actually changes more diapers than I do. It's his time with her. He sings to her .... He laughs with her, plays with her. It's amazing." [People]
• Who is Minnie Driver's baby daddy? Minnie hints that he is English and "sort of in the same business." OMG what if it's Eddie Izzard??? [People]
• Does Katherine Heigl want to leave Grey's Anatomy? A source says, "She's working really long hours and is ready to move on." [MSNBC]
• A portrait of Heath Ledger has won a top Australian art prize. [Reuters]
• Wil.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas says that staying away from the Beijing Olympics because of China's human rights record and crackdown on protesters in Tibet is a mistake. "America is talking out of both sides of its mouth," he says. "I know that everything I buy in America says 'Made in China' on it. So for me to just say, 'Yeah, that's right, boycott China' ... you're talking out of both sides of your mouth." [CNN]

The Accused: The Superficial
The Crime: Reducing a woman to her looks; criticizing said looks.
The Evidence: "Brooke Hogan causes bewilderment in my pants. 1. Don't ever, EVER stare directly into the camera again. I'm now deaf from the ear-shattering scream of my penis. 2. You're not Kim Kardashian. If I wanted to see a dude's butt, I'd watch football - with a room full of male strippers. I don't half-ass anything. Ha! Get it? Ba doom sha! But, seriously, no one needs to see that thing. 3. Be cognizant of what words you're standing under. Particularly the letters 'T, R, A, N, S.'" Hey, I don't love Brooke Hogan. I think it's weird that she bleaches her hair to look like her mom and dad and um, her dad's new girlfriend. But it's just not fair to call her a tranny. She can't help that she inherited genes from her 6 foot 4 and 238 pound father. And there's nothing she can do about it. And being tall and broad doesn't mean you're not a woman! Heh, "broad."
The Sentence: A Powerslam by Hulk Hogan himself.

The Accused: IDontLikeYouInThatWay
The Crime: Again, reducing a woman to her looks; criticizing said looks. And saying that a woman looks like a man.
The Evidence: "2001's international pop sensation, Pink, was in Malibu this weekend with some dude and an unfortunate bikini. Pink is the dude in the bikini. It's hard to tell how in love with yourself you have to be to look like Pink and tattoo bows on the backs of your thighs, but I'm guessing it's a lot. Considering I'd rather have sex with an electrical fence, I'd say it's way more than the agreed upon definition of 'a lot.'" Pink can sing. Pink loves to work out and is fucking strong. Once I was on a photoshoot with Pink and she did some gymnastics on the set, including walking on her hands, and everyone's jaw dropped. Pink can kick your ass. Don't fuck with Pink.
The Sentence: Asian mist, performed by Pink herself.

The Accused: DListed
The Crime: Talking about women in filthiest terms possible.
The Evidence: "Paris is fucking gross and disgusting. The inside of Paris' stomach probably looks like a trash bag filled with cottage cheese due to all the chunky jizz she's eaten. Stupid skank! [Paris and Kim Kardashian] hate each other. Now is our chance to finally rid the world of the two biggest whores. We should have a 'whore off.' We'll stick a hard 12-inch dick in front of them and watch as they suck to the death." As noted before, it's not about defending Paris or Kim — it's about the stigma women who are free and single and maybe enjoy sex have. It's not cool when any man calls any woman a whore, unless, of course, she does collect income from performing sexual acts, in which case "hooker" seems better somehow.
The Sentence: The Boston crab.

The Accused: What Would Tyler Durden Do?
The Crime: Rape joke.
The Evidence: (On an Ashlee Simpson post) "So she's pregnant. That's why the rushed wedding. Stuff like this is why you have to be careful. Always use protection, and if you're like me, always take a moment to lay the girls clothes out just as she had them on. That way you can re-dress her before she wakes up and no one is the wiser." Hahaha, fuck you.
The Sentence: Moonsault.

The Accused: Hollywood Tuna
The Crime: Mocking a pregnant woman's size. Always a knee-slapper.
The Evidence: "Seven months ago seeing Jessica Alba suck on a lollipop would have been considered hot, but the girl just had to go and get herself knocked up and ruin everything. Not even her milky tits can hide the fact that she's almost the size of a small minivan. Anyway, feels like she's been carrying that hot body-killer around forever. When is it going to drop?" It's just not even funny. Can you believe this site considers itself "for entertainment purposes"?
The Sentence: Piledriver.
Additional Crime: Cellulite-critique.
The Evidence: "Here's Katherine Heigl wearing panties on the set of her movie The Ugly Truth, but unfortunately the real ugly truth is that she needs to work on those legs. They're looking a little Mischa Barton-like. Now ladies, save your 'that's what a woman looks like' emails. It won't fly with me. The girl smokes like a chimney and I highly doubt she spends much time at the gym, so if she's going to prance around in her panties, she better have the goods." Actresses are not anatomical models to be inspected and stamped with your approval or disapproval. A woman is not a piece of meat. Fuck! This pisses me off.
The Sentence: Doomsday Device.

[Los Angeles, April 17. Image via INFDaily.com.]

[Los Angeles, April 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Tennessee study tested 82 couples for facial attractiveness and how they felt about their marriages. While women who were better-looking than their spouses reported contentedness, according to Univeristy of Tennessee professor Jim McNulty, men who were more attractive than their mates "demonstrated a tendency to offer less emotional and practical support to their wives." McNulty addsthat there is an "evolutionary explanation" for this behavior: "Attractive men have available to them more short-term mating opportunities. This may make them less satisfied and less committed to the marital relationship." Finally, a scientific explanation for the Katherine Heigl's choice to stay with Seth Rogen in Knocked Up!.

Do Attractive Women Want it All? New Study Reveals Relationship Standards Are Relative [PhysOrg]
Why Gorgeous Girls Are Happier With Plain Guys [Daily Mail]

• Victoria Beckham has been approached by Fox to host her own fashion reality TV show. Posh would travel around America — some small, "backwater" towns — finding style-challenged people, and giving them fashion make-overs. Geek to chic! [Marie Claire]
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a play in New York on Sunday, but spent the whole time texting. Rude! [Page Six]
  
• Though he's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze's doctor says he "has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far." [People]
  
• Demi Moore is on the cover of Bazaar and talks about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher inside: "People made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. Age wasn't what I was thinking about, but to the rest of the world it was a very big deal." [Perez Hilton]
  
• Demi's family portrait is hot. [People]

• Cosby Show alum Raven Symoné, 22: "I want to have a record label and a licensing company. I want to have a publishing company and a management company where I can launch all kinds of artists. I want to do everything. I want to be Disney." Get it girl! [LA Times]
• Terri Irwin faces a court battle over a million dollar debt at her late husband's Australia Zoo. A debt collector is suing the zoo and Terri in a case that involves an offshore bank with ties to a corrupt tax official. Messy stuff. [Times]
• Bai Ling pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace in her case regarding the theft of Star magazines and batteries. She was ordered to pay a fine of $700, and you can now go back to not thinking about her, if you want. [People ]
• J