[Paris, October 5. Image via Splash.]

[Los Angeles, September 8. Image via Flynet]

(All images via Bauer-Griffin.)

[Santa Monica, September 3. Image via Flynet]

[Los Angeles, August 25. Image via Flynet]

The trouble with last night's party at the Met, if I may speak frankly, is that it was a little like being sucked into a sequined wind tunnel. It started with a little breeziness before the superhero displays—Oh, hey, Narciso and Claire! Hi Liya! Alessandra! Isaac! Diane! Tom!—and then, suddenly, people seemed to be flying around the room....But I thought Anna Wintour looked great in her Chanel dress—fantastical fashion....And though I didn't see Victoria Beckham until later, in pictures, her lace Armani coat dress was definitely a look—Hollywood grandeur with a wink. Zac Posen and his date Kate Mara, in outfits painfully inspired by Superman, get the try-harder award. I'll be interested to know who you all thought looked super—and not.

One could probably read as many metaphors about the transformative power of fashion in the silver-sequined, elaborately padded Chanel gown that Anna Wintour wore to the Costume Institute gala on Monday night as one could in Superman's cape, which happened to be hanging in a gallery down the hall. The floor-length dress had curiously curling crescents attached at the hips and the shoulders, giving Ms. Wintour, the Vogue editor and overseer of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual Party of the Year, the fuller-bodied appearance of Botticelli's Venus on her clamshell. She seemed to be broadcasting a message of total earthly control. (Or it could have been that all the Vogue assistants standing along the way to Ms. Wintour's receiving line had been strictly instructed not to speak to anyone, not even to people they recognized, or that so many guests were unusually prompt.) With this year's gala titled "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy," Ms. Wintour pointed out that she was Storm, the "X-Men" character. "I control the weather," she said.

Blake Lively wore black gloves and a snug black Ralph Lauren gown involving feathers. She said that her favorite superhero was "Spider-Man. Cause he's awesome! He gets to swing around, and, I don't know....I've always seen pictures growing up, being a teenager, and thought, 'I'd love to go to that, a night just to dress up in ball gowns.' And here I am!"...Vogue editor and hostess Anna Wintour was the first to arrive, at 6:33 p.m., wearing a Chanel gown adorned with what appeared to be seahorse tails and accompanied by daughter Bee Shaffer, who required two men, including the formidable Vogue editor at large André Leon Talley, to carry the train of her voluminous blue Nina Ricci dress up the stairs....Designer Phillip Lim came with teenage model-of-the-moment Chanel Iman,..."I've been here last year, and this is her first time here, so she's the newbie...it's a lot of pressure."

It was a silver moment for Julia Roberts, wearing a swoop-neck dress by Giorgio Armani, who underwrote the event. Her co-chairs were Clooney and Anna Wintour, the editor-in-chief of Vogue, who wore a Superwoman creation by Chanel with snakes of padding at shoulders and thighs. Fashion's superheroes included Donatella Versace, who dressed Janet Jackson in a cut-away back dress, Karl Lagerfeld, wearing a sparkling silver jacket while he dressed Kate Bosworth in a multicolored patchwork of vintage Chanel; and Valentino, who was with the model Claudia Schiffer wearing a frilled blue dress from the retired designer's last collection....The cast of the newly revived "Hair" sang "The Age of Aquarius" and "Let the Sun Shine In." David Bowie, sitting with his wife, Iman, looked pained at this new rendition of the counterculture musical.

[George] Clooney joked that he had wanted to dress as Batman, but the costume was already in the exhibition, so he settled for a midnight blue Giorgio Armani tuxedo. Anna Wintour, shimmering in silver cyber-couture, by Karl Lagerfeld at Chanel, declared: "I stopped the rain"....The tennis star Venus Williams and American Vogue's editor-at-large, André Leon Talley, shared a red satin, super-cape for two that was custom-made by Chanel. The actress Scarlett Johansson wore a Dolce & Gabbana gown with a large diamond solitaire which announced her engagement to the actor, Ryan Reynolds. The designer Marc Jacobs confessed to wearing Superman underwear beneath his tuxedo....The "Superheroes" exhibition opens with a mirrored illusion of Clark Kent morphing into Superman and features radical catwalk creations by some of the world's top designers and comic book costumes from Hollywood blockbusters such as Spiderman and Batman.

It's the Oscars of the fashion industry, but if the looks on parade at Monday's Costume Institute gala in New York were anything to go by, that industry is in a sorry state of disarray. Hosted by Vogue editor Anna Wintour (in a Starlight Express moment, perhaps taking the superhero theme somewhat literally) and Giorgio Armani (looking as buff, relaxed and fashionably weathered as ever) the normally ultra-glamorous event fell flat as the proverbial pancake, where the frocks were concerned at least....how about Katie Holmes, who's clearly sharing a sunbed with her new best friend, Victoria Beckham? Someone really ought to have warned her that tomato red and orange is a challenging colour combination and that her razor-sharp bob is more Playmobil nurse than intergalactic heroine. And what of the aforementioned Mrs Beckham? Even by this particular fashion car crash's standards, her dress was disastrous. Nancy Reagan circa 1985, anyone? That cool-as-a-cucumber chignon, meanwhile, isn't kidding anyone. A Hitchcock heroine the artist formerly known as Posh most certainly is not.

Armani dressed Clooney and Roberts. "He asked me very sweetly if I'd be his date," Roberts, wearing a platinum Giorgio Armani Privé gown, said about the designer, who also outfitted other A-list celebrities, including Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Beyoncé Knowles and John Mayer....Clooney was taking it all in stride. "I get to have a drink. It's easy for me," he said. As for the superhero theme, he said he had a favorite when he was a kid: "Well, you know, I loved one that no one ever talks about, the Green Hornet. He was really cool." [Thandie] Newton, in a short dress in black lace with a long cape, said, "I like this because it's one look — and two looks. She made up her own superhero inspiration. "I'm Love Woman," she said. "I wanted to do a bit of skin."

"I think the secret of a good exhibition is when it happens very easily, which is what happened here," Anna Wintour told us of the Metropolitan Museum's Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy installation. We had many more looks in the exhibition than we could use, so [the idea] is obviously, once you start to look, really out there. It was largely Andrew [Bolton, the exhibition curator]'s vision that brought it all together but we've been very fortunate that at the same time," she added. "All these movies are coming out and the Olympics are coming up, so it all sort of came together."

Holy Stars, Batman! It was a celeb-studded affair at the Metropolitan Museum on Monday night as the world's fashion elite and Hollywood heavyweights met on Fifth Ave. to kick off the Costume Institute's latest exhibit, "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy." And while the night's theme celebrated cat suits and unitards, the red carpet featured far more glam getups: Co-hosts Julia Roberts and George Clooney giggled together as they strolled in wearing Giorgio Armani. "I wore the dress because he made it for me," said Roberts, who gave the designer, who sponsored the evening with Vogue magazine, a hug....Fashion darling Zac Posen took the theme seriously, rocking out Clark Kent-worthy spectacles and revealing his own secret identity. "I worked here as an intern for three years," he said. "I got paid $60 to do the event."

[New York, May 4. Image via x17]

The Bad:
The feathers! The gloves! Serena would not approve, Blake Lively.
Yes, the dress is nice enough. But I just can't take seeing Beyonce in one more "Beyonce" dress. Does the girl know no other silhouettes?!
Why must you hurt your boobies and toes, Eva Amurri???
Too much and not in a good way, Longoria.
Apologies to Eva Mendes but I just hate that color.
I think Gisele looks a little more trashy than classy.
Could Ivanka Trump wear anything more boring? Make an effort, lady.
I want to love Jennifer Connolly's dress. But I can't.
Ack! Leaping diagonal tiers, Jennifer Lopez!
Kristin Davis is all washed out.
Liv Tyler is wearing a lurex garbage bag toga.
Why does Mary J. Blige look sorta rumpled?
I love classic black dresses, but Sarah Michelle Gellar is wearing the wrong look for this occasion.
Sarah Silverman looks like a cracked-out Amy Winehouse. Oh. Wait. Nevermind.
Thandie Newton would look great if only she ditched the duster.
Dylan Lauren is rocking the Del Boca Vista aesthetic.
Something about this dress makes Julia Roberts look matronly.
I don't know who Alice Braga is, but her dress is a little mother-of-the-bride.
Too much pink, Lara Spencer.
Piper Perabo? Or a lost little alien?
Tamara Mellon looks a little Vegas, if ya know what I mean.
I don't want to see Donna Karan's side-boob ever again.
Is Helena Christensen wearing some suburban teen's prom dress?
Good effort, Kate Bosworth, but... no.

[Images via Getty.]

• More rumored changes for The Greatest Show On Earth, Project Runway: Season 6 of the show, the first to be broadcast on Lifetime, may feature "More Than A Pretty Face" magazine Marie Claire in lieu of Elle as the affiliated fashion magazine sponsor. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Whoah: Are New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn and Skeletor/stylist Rachel Zoe more similar than we could have ever imagined? Possibly, if it's true that Cathy Horyn was also mysteriously not invited to the dinner and dancing portion of tonight's Costume Institute festivities. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• And what does legendary costume designer Bob Mackie not like about the fashion industry? "Doing a fashion show that's on for 20 minutes and then it's over and everybody runs to the next one. Nobody sings, nobody dances, nobody tells jokes. I found it quite unsatisfying." I second that emotion. [WWD, sub req'd]

• It's so hard to be Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley: "I wear a lot of Burberry at events and the brand's been really supportive of me since the beginning. On the show, we wear H&M suits." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Sex and the City costume designer/fun drunk lesbian Pat Field: Now designing Diet Coke bottles. [FabSugar]
• More pearls of wisdom from Tim Gunn: "Always keep your tux jacket closed in photos." [Page Six]
• Starring in the latest Gap ads are actors Ginnifer Goodwin, Liv Tyler, Hugh Dancy, Fabcon Clemence Poesy, Catalina Moreno, Edgar Ramirez, photographers Scott Schuman (The Sartorialist) and Ryan McGinley, and also Marchesa designer Georgina Chapman, model Chanel Iman, Visioniare's Cecilia Dean, and Princess Coldstare herself, Leigh Lezark. [FabSugar]
• Leona Lewis: The latest celeb to believe she can be a fashion designer. A vegan fashion designer, that is. Watch your back, Portman and McCartney. [Fashionista]
• Lord & Taylor is launching a new "reality" advertising campaign, with TV and radio spots featuring real customers "ambushed' in their stores by "celebrity stylist" Robert Verdi and quizzed on their shopping experiences. Oh Lord. [WWD, sub req'd]
• WWD asks: "Tax Rebate Checks: Will They Spend Or Will They Save?" [WWD, sub req'd]
• More stars coming to tonight's Vogue and Armani-sponsored Costume Institute gala: Kate Bosworth, Thandie Newton, Audrey Tatou, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jourdan Dunn, Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann, and Roberto Bolle will all be there. In other words: Lots of good photos for us to dish on tomorrow. [WWD, 1st item]
• Also: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady, Scarlett Johansson, Iman and David Bowie, Sofia Coppola, Karen Elson and Helena Christensen. [Vogue UK]
• Mary Alice Stephenson (formerly the fashion director at Harper's Bazaar and the co-host of America's Most Smartest Model on Vh1) is shooting a special for E! on tonight's festivities, set to air May 8th for the viewing pleasure of us plebs. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Elle editors might have put Kelly Clarkson on the cover of the mag, but that doesn't mean they think she's very fashionable. [Page Six]
• Marc Jacobs: Now in Moscow. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Former model Josie Maran may have fake breasts tits. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• The fashion on Gossip Girl? Kinda crazy. But that's why we love it so. [EW]
• The rock stars today? The just don't dress like they used to. [LATimes]

• Frances Bean Cobain is rumored to be the next face of Chanel. That's hot. And also crazy. Oh, Karl. [Vogue UK]
  
• Louis Vuitton has postponed indefinitely its "China Run" car rally, which was originally scheduled to take place in late May with a route from Chengdu and Kunming. Reason? Um, it's not exactly cool to be supporting China's blatant disregard for human rights right now and France is all pissed re: the Olympics etc etc. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Also, Yohji Yamamoto wants to teach China about Peace and improve relations though the country and his native Japan through his new Yohji Yamamoto Fund For Peace. This will mainly involve fashion shows. Of course. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Also China's on the warning list for counterfeiting shit. Oh, China. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Tommy Hilfiger, ambiguously racist? Says the designer, "[W]e feel that with our European-influenced approach, the sophisticated and higher level of quality and fashion somehow reaches the type of people who represent the brand very well... Ten years ago it was positioned with a lot of red, white and blue and a lot of logos and you would look at these street kids wearing the clothes as billboards." [FT]

• Elle still hasn't confirmed that fashion director Nina Garcia was fired, but Nina's assistants, Jade Frampton and Malina Joseph, just got big promotions, with Frampton taking the title of market editor and Joseph that of bookings editor. Senior style editor Kate Lanphear has been promoted to style director and rumors abound that she might be up for the fashion director gig herself. Can someone tell us the difference between a style director and a fashion director? The real difference, that is? That's what we thought. [WWD, 4th item]
• Um, but these promotions seem to be a result of the fact that bookings editor Claudine Ingeniri and market editor Helane Crowell have left the magazine. Associate art director Florence Sicard has also left. [WWD, 4th item]
• Anna Wintour's new assistant is named Claiborne Swanson. She comes from the Swanson-as-in-chicken-breasts family. Also, she must be a masochist to have taken this job. [NYMag]
• Okay, so here's what the rumor mill is reporting regarding who will come with whom at next Monday's Costume Institute Gala, hosted by George Clooney, Julie Roberts, and Anna Wintour: Giorgio Armani with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez with Alberta Ferretti, Kate Bosworth with Chanel, and Eva Mendes, Rachel Bilson and Fergie with Calvin Klein. Mariah Carey, Renée Zellweger, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Moss, Mary J. Blige, Claire Danes, Mischa Barton, LeBron James, Valentino, Tom Ford, Domenico Dolce, Stefano Gabbana and Donatella Versace will all be there too. [WWD, 1st item]
• The Wall Street Journal names Proenza Schouler, Peter Som, Zac Posen, Rodarte, Derek Lam, 3.1 Phillip Lim and Tuleh as the seven young designers to watch because they're thisclose to breaking mainstream. Um, they already have. Way to be up on the times, WSJ. [WSJ]
• Deep thoughts with Entourage's Emmanuelle Chirqui, "Why not wear something fabulous and save the environment at the same time?" [WWD, 2nd item]
• Rami Kashou: You can buy it online! [Sassybella
• Glasses are hot, Lasik eye surgery be damned. [WSJ]
• Men: Wearing jewelry. [LATimes]
• High-heeled Crocs: Oh. God. [Crocs]

• "I go to the same Starbucks every day in Beverly Hills and they're like, 'Can you please tell them that we want to have new outfits?'...I sit in American Airlines, same thing. I get it all the time. Those chains or big companies, they always come to me." Imagine: the entire American service industry remade in the image of Heidi Klum! [Sassybella]
  
• Every time we read an interview with Kate Bosworth, she talks about high school and sort of ups the ante in terms of the profound alienation she supposedly felt there. Here's the latest installment. [Vogue UK]
  
• "Four kids later, I'm a 32D, but my entire life I was told I was a 34B." And there you have things we never wanted to know about model-cum-Interview fashion director Stephanie Seymour. [Chic Report]

• Best protest sign outside of the new John Varvatos store in the old CBGB's space: "$1,600 used jackets destroy communities." [Does someone still care about CBGB closing, is that the issue here? Because guess what, guys, there's a global food crisis on and Al Qaeda is bombing countries you've never heard of, stagflation is upon us and we're in danger of electing a president who doesn't know the difference between Sunni and Shiite, so get over it, thanks. -Moe] [Fashion Week Daily]
• Fun contest! Giorgio Armani is sponsoring a contest where the little people can pitch him concepts for the new ad campaign for his latest fragrance. Ten finalists get to meet Mr. Armani, though only one will have their ideas usurped for the perpetuation of Mr. Armani's own wealth. [Vogue UK]
• Why isn't one of the options for this "Do You Wear Religious Symbols" poll "Only as tattoos"?! [FabSugar]
• "Wow! It just seems like the next step to our larger goal. Every time we conceive a collection, we try to think of all the elements that would go along with our designs. And bags are next! We want to conquer that next year," says Proenza Schouler's Lazaro Hernandez. Oh really, bags! What a novel idea. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Says Duckie Brown co-designer Steven Cox, "I've always had this fantasy of making a dress out of bricks." Aren't you just ill that Duckie Brown only does menswear? [Washington Post]
• Apparently there is no "right" hemline this season, but if there were, it would involve pairing a long skirt with a long sweater. We don't make the news, we just report on it! [Guardian]
• The color blue: It's important. [Washington Post]
• Showing off your baby bump is so totally out of fashion. Duh. [IHT]
• Crocs is shutting down its factory in Quebec City, meaning 669 people now are out of work. Which also means there is a whole new demographic of people who really hate Crocs! [NYT]
• I actually don't believe anything I read about ELLE's fledgling reality show (which may or may not be titled Fashionista) anymore, but some say that editors at the mag are calling in sick to avoid having to work on it. [Jossip]

[Los Angeles, April 16. Image via INFDaily.com.]

Flynet]

[London, April 8. Images via INFDaily.]

Phew.

[LAX, April 7. Images via Splash.]

[New York, March 27. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• As celebrity-commodity tie-ups go, it makes a certain kind of sense that Ashlee Simpson would shill for Wet Seal. Wet Seal is sort of the quintessential hollow youth retailer, possessing nary the layers of rigorous protocol and manufactured snobbery of Abercrombie & Fitch nor the countercultural "heritage" of Urban Outfitters, and so it is left, every few years, to "reinvent" itself under the watchful eye of the money men. Ashlee will be "designing" T-shirts "inspired by her own personality, sense of style and album artwork." [People]
  
• Oh, goody, and they're even going to make one that fits her. [Budget Fashionista]
  
• You know? There are a lot of topics that I could see inspiring me to write 300 pages of text and Kate Moss is not one of them. I mean, what all is there to say about Kate Moss? WWD asked the host of the party for a Kate Moss biography in Paris last night. "She always looks great," he said. [WWD]
  
• And her life is endless string of nabbing and losing endorsement contracts. [Mirror]

• J.C. Penney and "macroeconomic gloom" seem somehow appropriately tied to one another. [WSJ]
• Walgreen's is starting to sell $7 pajamas, and other clothing items. This reminds me of a fun game: what is the grossest thing in your wardrobe that you bought at a drugstore when you were locked out of your house after an ill-advised one-night stand and somehow still own? And why are "briefs" SO VERY GIANT? I have some brown plastic CVS sandals but I think the GIANT underwear takes the cake. [Mediapost]
• Some dispatch from a Calvin Klein party in Vegas involved Kate Bosworth being credited with this profundity: "The biggest tip I learned was come with as much as you're willing to loose." No dear, "loose" is the sample size on your bony body. [Fashion Week Daily]
• If you didn't know the story of how Puma and Adidas were founded by dueling German brothers named Adi and Rudolf Dassler and how Adi outfitted Nazis etc. etc., well, now you can read an entire book about it! Not that I want to distract your mind from such lofty matters as those sure to be addressed in the Kate Moss book! [BusinessWeek]

[New York, March 25. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
I think that both Abigail Breslin and her top are adorable.
Jodie Foster: Still beautiful.
Looking too skinny again, but I do love Kate Bosworth's sorta mumsy dress.
Pretty good for SJP. (At least she's not wearing the Uggs and puffy coat.)

The Bad:
Valley of the Dolls much, Anita Briem?
OMG! It's Encino Man Brandon Fraser! I loved that movie buuuuudy! Too bad he looks like he hasn't changed his wardrobe since it premiered.
Christina Ricci did not get the memo about why one does not wear a short shiny white dress.
Did Emile Hirsch get dressed in his dad's clothes?
Why is Maggie Gyllenhaal wearing her support garments over her dress?
Seth Rogen? Or your high school chemistry teacher?

The Ugly:
Is Anne Hathaway starring in a film version of Little House on the Prairie? Or a public service announcement for "When Bad Shoes Happen To Good People"?
Um, how old are you, Robert Downey, Jr?

[Images via Bauer-Griffin]

[Las Vegas, March 12. Images via Splash.]

...Despite the bandages you see here.

[Sydney, Australia; March 7. Image via Flynet]

• Kate Bosworth is the new face of Calvin Klein jeans. Looks good enough to make us forget another girl named Kate who once was the face of CK jeans. [Vogue UK]
  
• In case you forgot, here's what Brooke Shields looked like in her Calvins. [Sassybella])
  
• With nary a girl to dress for red carpet season, Badgley Mischka has made an awards-attending Barbie. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Mazel Tov to Stella McCartney, who just gave birth to baby number three, a son, Beckett Robert Lee Willis. McCartney and her husband Aldashair WIllis have two other children and one ex-wicked stepmother. [WWD, 2nd item]

• Tyson Beckford's ego really must be stopped: "What's so great about me is I can call Naomi Campbell and be like 'Yo Naomi, we need you to teach these girls how to walk.' I don't think anybody else in fashion can do that without her charging you a brick. I can do that because I'm her friend...I can call anyone in fashion. I can say 'André Talley, come here'...I can say, 'Hey, André Talley, come hang out with me,' and he'll do that...I can call Ralph Lauren, you know. I can go sit in Ralph's office and put my feet on his desk and say 'Ralph, I need a favor.'" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Our favorite Project Runway judge Nina Garcia: Moved to tears by Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera, rocks out to Amy WInehouse and James Brown. [The Fashion Informer]
• Now you too can buy your very own spacesuit! [Guardian]
• Want to sell clothes? Or a bologna sandwich? Put Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus's name anywhere near an object you need to move off the shelf and it will go flying so fast you'll think you've been robbed. [NYPost]
• Donna Karan's new line of handbags are inspired by the different signs of the Zodiac. "I live by astrology," says Karan. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Glamour editor-in-chief Cindi Leive is just like us: Doesn't call her grandmother enough! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Let this news from Australia be true: Skinny models are out, healthy looking girls are in. [The Age]
• Aspirin + apple cider vinegar = clean hair? [BellaSugar]
• Really expensive handbag line Mulberry is now venturing into the world of really expensive shoes. [Vogue UK]
• Valentino: Getting a medal from the mayor of Paris! Aw? [WWD, 5th item]
• Retailers' profits are sucking big time. [WSJ]
• Bravo's new show Make Me A Supermodel premieres tonight with swank (we guess?) corporate sponsors Mercedes Benz, Alltel Wireless, and Garnier hair products. [MediaWeek]
• Lucky Seattle: Getting 3 new H&M's in the next year! [Charleston Post-Courier]

[Sydney, Australia; January 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, November 16. Image via INF]

[New York, November 14. Image via Splash]

US
Britney is SICK! Declares the cover, showing Brit with her broke-ass weave and hideously unflattering Halloween costume. Inside we learn that Spears got straight Fs on the Parenting Report Card graded by her court-appointed parenting coach because her home life is "chaotic." A "confidant" thinks Brit is suffering from adult onset ADD or postpartum depression. Us then provides a handy chart delineating the signs of mental illness for those of us not already convinced that Brit is batshit. In Hills news, the axis of evil known as Spencer Pratt is allegedly shopping a sex tape "under the guise that it had been 'stolen.'" The tape shows Pratt n' pals hooking up with a bunch of Brazilian hussies. Later, Audrina catches JustinBobby making out with a redhead at L.A. club Opera and has since begun dating Australian pro BMXer Corey Bohan. Also inside: did Katie Holmes run the marathon without a bra (but with lipstick and eyeshadow)? Are Jessica Simpson and Owen Wilson really dating? "Did Brad Get Dissed by Barak?" Are Christina Applegate and ex-husband Johnathon Schaech back together? What is the meaning of life?
Grade: C- (cold mac n' cheese the next morning)

Life & Style
Angelina's Sexy Kiss With Another Man! chastises the cover (and hey look, they went back to the old logo!) though inside we learn that her kiss was part of a scene with Scotsman James McAvoy for her upcoming movie Wanted. It's called ACTING, people. But we are reminded that Angie has a history of boning her costars, as she hooked up with Brad and exes Billy Bob Thornton and Jonny Lee Miller on set. Allegedly Brad is jealous of her steamy scene and also of her hot new bodyguard, another Scottish bloke named Billy. Britney's mom gives L&S an exclusive interview in which she says "I blame myself," for Britney's erratic behavior. It's kind of a bummer! In addition: Bennifer v. 2.0 is purportedly feeling the strain of their busy schedules, as Jennifer Garner is in New York acting in a revival of Cyrano and Ben is on the road promoting his directorial debut Gone Baby Gone. As a result, Ben's been hitting the sauce pretty hard again. Finally, there is a spread of Jennifer Aniston high school photos where she sports sweatpants and also her old nose.
Grade: D+ (cinnamon raisin bagel dug out of the garbage)

OK!
The cover shows adorable Jayden James and Sean Preston saying "Mommy We Miss You!" The "two forgotten princes of Malibu" are left in the car while Brit goes chandelier shopping and she never lets them have playdates with other, possible more hygienic children. An interview with "the anti-Britney" Carrie Underwood reveals that she loves the bad boys and enjoys drinking Coors beer, long walks on the beach and dolphins. "They're like giant, rubbery, wet dogs!" Kate Hudson and Orlando Bloom sucked face at her Halloween party (in front of ex-boyfriend Dax!!) but they're not really dating. Tyra Banks is dating a 50-year-old banker named John Utendahl, and his buddies are not pleased with Ty Ty's divaness. "Tyra insisted his friends delete iPhone pics they had taken as a group because she hadn't been styled!"
Grade: D (warm cottage cheese and prunes)

In Touch
Tom's still keeping secrets from Katie, the cover tells us. A new book by Andrew Morton (of Lady Di bio fame) exposing Tom's "deepest demons" is hitting bookstores next January. Katie is worried that Suri's paternity might be questioned by Morton because the alien baby's birth certificate was not signed until 20 days after she was born. In addition, Morton explores the gay innuendos that have plagued Tom since his marriage to Mimi Rogers, who had said he was celibate during their union. The book also rehashes the old rumor that Katie auditioned to be Tom's beard... er, wife, along with fellow starlets Jessica Alba and Kate Bosworth and alleges that Tom's past relationships were "photo opportunities" rather than "romances." In Touch carries details of the fracas at Oprah's South African academy. Disgraced school matron Tiny Makopo reportedly "grabbed a student by the throat and threw her against the wall." Also inside: George Clooney and Fabio got in a fistfight at Madeo in West Hollywood over some photos being taken by Fabio's party. Clooney asked one of Fabio's companions to stop taking pictures, and Fabio told George to "Stop being a diva." Zing! A scuffle ensued between George and Fabio but waiters broke it up before it got too intense. The Olsen twins had a garage sale and made a cool $25,000 off their homeless chic cast-offs.
Grade: C (peanut butter and jelly on untoasted Wonderbread)

Star
The cover asks whether Angelina and her bodyguard have become "too close?" Bodyguard Billy (no one knows his last name!) escorted Ange to a screening of A Mighty Heart. A friend of the couple says that Angelina "finds [Billy] attractive and she's reacting to it. She's flirtatious. She's a sexual creature." Britney's ashamed of her childhood because she grew up poor, says mom Lynne's forthcoming book. Also, her break-up with Justin was scheduled. According to a family insider, apparently things had been in decline for a while and towards the end, both Timberlake and Spears were using their bond for publicity. Finally, Lynne is in dire financial straits because Brit stopped giving her money. Helena Bonham Carter farted during a sex scene with Paul Bettany while filming The Heart of Me. Star also links Shia LaBeouf's recent Walgreens arrest to his break-up with Rihanna. Shia is allegedly insane with jealousy over her new relationship with Josh Hartnett.
Grade: D- (possibly rancid leftover General Tso's)

I looked closely at the captions on the commonfolk pictures, which were taken to illustrate another story on the coming winter times, and specifically how winter is synonymous with Beijing pollution. And then a little lightbulb went off! Maybe the celebrities were just trying to make a statement about the environment! Like: "We'd rather go naked than burn coal but since we're wealthy friends of Karl Lagerfeld we're just gonna wear fur if that's all right with you..." Gallery below.

• Poor Valentino! After watching various private equity firms duke it out for control of the fashion house he founded; telling the media over and over again that he is totally 100% absolutely not retiring; announcing his retirement; and then naming his successor, the guy finally manages to score the lifetime achievement award at the Fashion Rocks event in London last week... only to lose the statuette. (And then find it!) [I wonder if he prayed to St. Anthony, the patron saint of ignoring me. -Moe] [NY Post]
  
• LOLNaomi! Mlle. Campbell is to lecture to students at the Trinity College Philosophical Society in Dublin. Perhaps she will explain the finer points of resorting to physical violence to the world's oldest debate society? [Sassybella]
  
• Requisite retarded Karl Lagerfeld design du jour: a Chanel bicycle, complete with Chanel's signature quilting. [Vogue UK]

• Veronica Mars star Kristen Bell on designer Elie Tahari: "I have recently been exposed to Elie Tahari. His stuff is really classic, but at the same time he has gotten hipper." Spoken like a fashion critic! [WWD, 1st item]
• Model Watch update! Jessica Stam, Coco Rochas, and Kasia Struss will co-star in the Dior spring 2008 campaign together, combining the power of their incredibly well-remunerated faces to try and justify the cost of even more expensive shit. [WWD, 1st item]
• We are sorry to inform you that Dallas Fashion Week has been canceled. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Shoe designer Christian Louboutin, who would actually know what he's talking about, on Mary Kate & Ashley's new clothing line: "When I started my line, I did it little by little. But [Elizabeth and James is] very, very well-managed. More than anything else, it's very good." Go figure. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Kate Bosworth is the new face of Coach in China. [Fashion Week Daily]

[Hollywood, September 24. Image via x17]

[Toronto, September 11. Image via Splash]

[West Hollywood, August 22. Image via Flynet]

[New York, June 6. Image via Splash]

Earlier: Kate Bosworth's Cheeks Have Returned
Related: Celeb Spotlight: Kate Bosworth [People]

[CFDA Awards, New York; June 4. Images via FilmMagic]

• After a super low-key and abstemious week in New York, Lindsay and Callum Best let loose a bit in the Bahamas at one of those super understated resorts populated by close friends Gloria Estefan, Steve Tyler and the Village People. [Rush & Mulloy]
  
• Razorlight concert attracts likes of Kate Bosworth, Mary Kate Olsen, Kirsten Dunst (who dates lead singer Johnny Borrell). We have never listened to Razorlight, but we have an inkling there may be some finger foods going uneaten backstage! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Sheryl Crow adopts a baby boy, mercifully abstains from naming him one of those hippie names like "Woodland" or "Sierra" or "Emission Tax Credit" or some shit. [Sherylcrow.com]
  
• We have basically been waiting for our entire lifetimes for a Fergie-Sarah Ferguson collabo. For the children! (And the retarded at heart) [Rush & Mulloy]

• All those dudes who pumped their fists a little while pledging to see Spiderman 3 last weekend made good on their words. [Nikki Finke]
• Iggy Pop on modeling the Stooges' steez on Egyptian pharaohs: "Those guys look bitchin', they never wear shirts." [Page Six]
• Drea de Matteo is prego with some country singer who promised to put the O back in country. We have never paid any attention to these people but from the sounds of their Wikipedia entries the kid is actually getting a good shot at gene-wise being in the top tenth percentile of the celeb spawn kindergarten class. [Page Six]
• Following on the footsteps of similar actions by Replacements and Dinosaur Jr. frontmen Paul Westerberg and J. Mascis, respectively, Beyonce reveals that Destiny's Child may reunite.
• Gossip press rips "New Yoko Ono" title from Ashlee Simpson, bestows it upon Sienna Miller. Because Pete Wentz was less deserving of the John Lennon parallels than a supposed rock star who is also a model. [Gatecrasher]

(New York, May 10. Image via Splash)

Boston, April 5, 2007
[Image via Splash News]