• Today a judge ruled that Jon Gosselin must pay back $180,000 of the money he removed from his shared bank account with Kate Gosselin in violation of an arbitrator's order. As for the rest of the money...

• Kate's lawyer said, "The remaining sum of $55,000, which Ms. Gosselin used for household bills and expenses relating to the children, will be subject to further determination by the arbitrator at a later date." Jon has to pay by October 26 or be held in contempt. Kate has until that date to detail what she's been spending the money on. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted: "@samantharonson doesn't respond 2me b/c her family will cut her off if she contacts me…They control the one I love & im incapable of making any sort of difference. I'm in love with her, as she is in love with me….but her loved ones-hate her brilliance & resent her happiness" [Perez Hilton]
• In the video at the link, a Dallas news anchor asks Oprah, "Would you like to take this opportunity to apologize to America for introducing us to Dr. Phil?" She laughs and says, "Aren't you proud of your boy from Texas?" to which the anchor replies, "No." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was nominated for five American Music Awards today. His death made him the biggest-selling artist of the year and he was nominated for favorite male artist and favorite album for Number Ones. [Reuters]
• Sources who have heard unreleased Michael Jackson recordings say there are at least two albums worth of material, and some are better than "This Is It." [TMZ]
• Helen Harris-Scott, who once claimed Michael Jackson communicated with her through his music, has filed a creditor's claim for $50 million. She says Michael installed a tracking device in her car, wiretapped her phone and had "organized criminals watching me inside my house in L.A. and reporting to him." [TMZ]
• Robert O'Ryan, Shawn Johnson's alleged stalker, will stand trial for felony stalking, felony commercial burglary and two misdemeanor counts of carrying a loaded firearm in his car. A judge threw out an attempted kidnapping charge because although he had zip ties, duct tape, and a shot gun in his car the judge said there was so much junk in the vehicle that he could not have fit Johnson inside. [TMZ]
• Deputy James Davis, the police officer who arrested Evi Quaid and Randy Quaid, is suing her because she was photographed hanging a hand painted sign accusing him of taking bribes outsider her home. Now another sign has appeared that accuses him of being a "Deputy with Underrated Intelligence." [TMZ]
• NBC has cancelled Southland, but TNT may pick it up. [Hollywood Reporter]
• A Richard Prince exhibition has reopened at the Tate Modern in London after a nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10-years-old was removed for possibly violating obscenity laws. Prince was consulted and the picture was replaced with a photo of Shields as an adult. [N.Y. Times]
• The first witness in the preliminary hearing over Anna Nicole Smith's death testified today that she was found with a bottle of the anti-biotic Cipro and a baby bottle full of Pedialyte, which is used to rehydrate children who have diarrhea and vomiting. Anna had the flu. [TMZ]
• The paparazzi caught Maria Shriver talking on a cell phone while driving, which was outlawed by a bill Arnold Schwarzenegger signed last year. [TMZ]
• Paparazzi caught Famke Jannsen with feeding her dog while dining on the patio of a New York restaurant. In New York it is illegal to bring a dog into a restaurant. [TMZ]
• The cover of Q magazine featuring a topless Lily Allen with panthers won a Maggie for the best UK magazine cover of the year. [Guardian]
• Lily Allen is preparing to move in with her new boyfriend Sam Cooper, who is a builder. "They have made enquiries about several terraced properties in Primrose Hill in London," says a source. "Sam's brilliant at planning and design so it makes sense for him to advise on any business ventures. They're so into each other, it's very sweet." [Ok]
• Though they've only been dating for a few weeks Katy Perry wants to introduce Russell Brand to her parents. "Katy is as besotted with Russell as he is with her. However, her parents are extraordinarily strict Christians," says a source. "Katy is sure that, after a bit of getting used to him, they would approve of Russell, but she wants to get that initial meeting out of the way as early as she can." [The Sun]
• Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen saved a lost dog they saw other drivers swerving around in Los Angeles. Sacha called the owners to set up a meeting and said he'd recognize them because, "I'm very tall and my fiancée is really tiny. You can't miss us." [E!]
• PETA is attacking Paris Hilton for buying a pet mini-pig recently, saying she sets a "wretched example" by treating animals like they're "as disposable as her friends and fiances." [TMZ]
• Karina Smirnoff says the rumors she's hooking up with her Dancing With the Stars partner Aaron Carter are "really funny" because judge Len Goodman keeps accusing them of not being sexy enough on the dance floor. "Let me tell you, if that was the case, the dance would have been very raunchy, as Len wanted it to be," she said. [People]
• The autopsy of Boyzone star Stephen Gately, who was found dead on Saturday, shows he died of natural causes. [USA Today]
• Ethan Hawke is on the new cover of Hobo magazine, sitting on a swing looking scruffy and dejected. [Just Jared]
• Tilda Swinton is trying to prevent Donald Trump from developing a golf course in Scotland. He responded: "Where was Tilda Swinton three years ago when everyone else was petitioning? She's a little late in the game don't you think? Swinton is a part of a tiny little group of people who are hanging by a thread. 93% of the public in Scotland are in favor of the project. I have all of my permits and approvals and we're going to start construction in 3 weeks." [TMZ]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their new daughter Lou Sulola. "I think that it's a wonderful experience to be pregnant, definitely, but you have to look at what you can do, and four children is a lot!" she said. "It's a big family. We drive a really big VW bus. Now in September, all three children will be going to school. Try to fit three car seats in the back of the car!" [People]
• T.R. Knight told Ellen DeGeneres, "I want a baby... I don't know if it's going to end up working out, but that would be something I would like." [Us]
• Former Spice Girl Emma Bunton's two-year-old son Beau was taken to the hospital last week because he had a bloody lip. Bunton says, "It's been an emotional week for me as Beau had his first accident, which left both of us in tears. He fell over his scooter and his tooth pierced his bottom lip, so there was blood everywhere." He was sent home the same day. [Daily Express]
• Claire Danes says she likes to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge but has never ventured much further into the borough. "That's terrible. I sound terrible," she said. Her husband Hugh Dancy added, "Basically, you're speaking to the most politely pro-Manhattanite person that you've ever met, right here." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "They've turned the word rock into nothing. It's a meaningless word. "It rocks." "That food rocks." "She's rocking in that outfit." They've taken the word and stripped it of all its menace, of all its dirt, of all its sex." — Joan Jett [Esquire]
• Jane Birkin says Serge Gainsbourg "was scared stiff of all breasts. Which was why, when he met me, he said: 'Wow – you have a body just like the ones I drew in art school.' He didn't like bosoms to be high and pert; he liked them lower down, which was just as well, as I'd had a baby. 'I've always dreamt of a girl who had the top of a boy and the bottom of a girl,' he once told me – Serge did like a bottom." [The Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone says she likes the men of old Hollywood like William Powell and Spencer Tracy because, "They're chivalrous and funny and not too politically correct. They still smack a gal on the ass, which I just think is swell. They wear a suit, they have a hat, they drive a car, they have a job. They stand up when you come in the room, say please and thank you. All those old fashioned things go a long way with me." [Showbiz 411]

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

• Russell Brand on the Kanye West incident at the VMAs:

"You don't like to see people upset. But I think it just gets exciting, live television, live events. People get worked up and things happen." [AP]

• "However rude Kanye West's intrusion may have been, it suited the controversy the VMAs openly crave." [NY Times]
• Philippe van den Bossche, the boss of Madonna's Raising Malawi charity, has quit after falling in love with Madonna's trainer, Tracy Anderson — also famous for sculpting Gwyneth Paltrow's physique. [Page Six]
• Is Oprah in trouble? This report notes: "Winfrey is still the queen of daytime television, but the aura of invincibility is gone. The average viewership for The Oprah Winfrey Show slipped under 7 million last season, down 7 percent from the year before, according to Nielsen Media Research. One week during the July rerun season, the show had its lowest ratings since its 1985 debut." [AP]
• Colin Farrell: Having another baby. He and girlfriend Alicja Bachleda are expecting their first child. Colin has a 5-year-old son James from a previous relationship with model Kim Bordenave. [Us Magazine]
• At a red carpet event, a photographer asked Colin Farrell's sister to step away to Colin could be photographed alone. Colin got mad and confronted the snapper, who says: "I was just saying, 'Please can everyone clear the carpet, move on.' He took it personal. He said, 'Do not shout at my sister like that, do not ever speak to my sister like that ever.'' [Daily Express]
• Deepak Chopra knew Michael Jackson for 20 years, and he says of Michael's death: "It was caused not by the drugs he had been taking for years — He was a very controlled addict. But by him being given a particular drug that is so powerful that I have never heard of it being used anywhere but in an operating theater with breathing tubes and a ventilator… This is something bigger and is happening all the time – and not just in Hollywood. The number one cause of drug addiction in America right now is medical prescriptions. We have to wake up to that." [Telegraph]
• Elton John would like to adopt a Ukrainian boy named Lev, but the country bans gay couples from adopting children. In addition, Elton and partner David Furnish are considered too old to be adoptive parents. But click the links to see adorable pix of the tot. [The Sun, NY Daily News]
• Ugh, some of the comments on this Elton John story are vile. [Page Six]
• Gisele Bundchen hates when her personal real estate business is in the paper. [Page Six]
• Lionel Richie says now that daughter Nicole has given birth to son Sparrow, "She is the happiest woman ever. She is just in total control. I'm the one that's nervous!" He also jokes: "Harlow right now is enjoying the baby until she finds out it's staying." And: "[Sparrow] looks just like Harlow." [People]
• John Mayer was at a bar in NYC when someone got stabbed; Mayer and other patrons were "seen fleeing." [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle's first single has been revealed: It's a cover of The Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses." [Mirror]
• Tila Tequila has apparently been mentioning Chris Brown in her Tweets; Chris Brown has responded: "NOT TRYNA BE RUDE but i keep hearing tila bringing my name up. ur 15 seconds of fame has ended. dont try to gain fans by dissing me.godbless." [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton is working on her new show The Beautiful Life, but while doing so, she has been ordered to stay away from booze, boys and bad behavior. She complained to cast members: "All I can do is smoke cigarettes." [Page Six]
• Lost is scheduled to end on Wednesday, May 19, 2010. Mark your calendars. [ONTD via LostBlog]
• Ugh. Here's a "joke" an NFL announcer made during a Detroit Lions game: "Going from two Super Bowls in Pittsburgh to the winless Detroit team — that's like going from dating Beyoncé to Whoopi Goldberg." [TMZ]
• "Russell Brand romanced model Christy Peterson for three months without seeing another girl. Then he told her to go shopping with his mum and had sex with a fan and a stripper." [News.com.au]
• "Prince Harry leaves nightclub ten minutes after Chelsy Davy... as he misses Lord Freddie Windsor's wedding." [Daily Mail]
• Interested in a Hollywood Hills 5,334 square foot 1929 Spanish-style house or a 4,062 square foot three-story contemporary Mediterranean home with a guesthouse? Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor are selling, and you only need around $12.5 million [UPI]
• Jay Leno's new show is related to NBC's decision to split football drama Friday Night Lights between DirecTV and NBC. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dancing With The Stars' Maksim Chmerkovskiy is "still nursing a broken heart but doing okay" after his breakup with Karina Smirnoff. [People]
• Chandra Wilson has been nominated four consecutive years for her portrayal of Miranda Bailey, the no-nonsense chief resident on ABC's Grey's Anatomy, but is still looking for her first win. She says: "The thing that always impresses me whenever I go on the website each year to cast my little vote for myself, there are like 400 women there! So to even get in the top five, narrowed down from all those women, that's already amazing. I'm a huge fan of Sandra's work on this show. So the fact that we keep coming in together, I'm highly complimented by that. I also think it's a big testament to the show remaining as current as it is, six years in." [NY Times]
• Harrison Ford was honored with a tribute to his career at the 35th Deauville American Film Festival in Normandy, France, and got all choked up. Han Solo doesn't cry! [Daily Mail]
• Director Niki Caro and actress Keisha Castle-Hughes paired up in 2002's divine Whale Rider, and have reteamed for new film The Vinter's Luck. [USA Today]
• Couple alert: Chace Crawford and Bar Refaeli. [NY Daily News]
• Formula 1 driver Lewis Hamilton has dumped girlfriend Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls, telling her he is not ready for marriage and children. But she was quoted as saying: "My dream is to do my own music one day, to have an unbelievable tour, to have done some musical theatre and some film and maybe to have opened up a performing arts school for special needs kids. That is my ultimate dream — not marriage." [Mirror]
• Even though they broke up 22 years ago, The Smiths are gaining new fans, thanks to 500 Days Of Summer. [Independent]
• ABBA's Benny Anderson on rumors that the group will create music for a sequel to Mamma Mia!: "it's not going to happen. There will not be another, quote unquote, Abba musical." [UPI]
• "Sir Michael Caine described his latest vigilante film as a 'warning' of the way British society is heading." [Mirror]
• Kirk Douglas, 92, Is the oldest person on MySpace. He recently sent son Michael Douglas a message which read: "I've got 800 new friends, what should I do?" [Mirror]
• I Can Do Bad All By Myself opened at the top of the weekend box office with more than $24 million in ticket sales. [NY Daily News]
• Blind items! "Which has-been action hero has knocked up his comely assistant? When his longtime girlfriend learned of the impending birth, she angrily split… Which world-famous actor has fallen out with his equally A-list director? They have weeks to go on their upcoming block buster, but the actor thinks the director is arrogant and dismissive of his ideas, while the director considers his leading man to be a spoiled, over rated punk." [Page Six]
• "I'm not that motivated nor do I see that many good projects that make me want to take me away from my family. So much so, that his young children see mummy as the film star in the family. All they know was daddy makes pancakes because I did not have a movie to show them." — Michael Douglas. [Mirror]
• "It feels like we have been away for a long time. The four of us were feeling really nervous about coming back home." — Chris Martin, on Coldplay playing its first UK gig this year. [BBC News]
• "I am comfortable singing in a context like that. I am least comfortable singing karaoke, and less comfortable singing in cabarets. I really only like singing when you understand the context, so an awards show is fine." — Neil Patrick Harris on the Emmys, which he'll be hosting Sunday. [USA Today]
• "You're surrounded by cameras, you're surrounded by film crews, you're surrounded by equipment. It's, like, the most empty, unromantic experience ever." — Penn Badgley on kissing scenes on Gossip Girl. [USA Today]
• "I'm not a great actor. I don't fool myself to think that I am. Most of the work that I get is through having really good relationships with people and being dependable… We all have to put each other in check. Otherwise, people start to become delusional about who they are and what they are and what they're contributing to the world." — Ashton Kutcher. [New York Magazine]
• "Popular music has an emotional-intelligence quotient that's geared much toward younger people. It's all about [he flattens his voice to a disaffected teen monotone] 'You left me. Why did you leave me? I still love you. I tried so hard to stop loving you.' And it's like, well, I relate to that, I just don't want to think about that. When you're younger, you want to wallow in it. When you get older, you still love the person, and wonder why they don't love you. You just have other things to do." — Alec Baldwin. [New York Magazine]
• "At one of the orgies there was this bunny - there was a rabbit, who was just sitting there staring at us. We all kept saying, 'Look that bunny's still there.' And after about 45 minutes, I thought, 'Maybe he's hurt,' and I started to walk over to it and it took two hops and I was like, 'Nope, he's just a pervert.' … He was pervy Peter Rabbit!" — Michelle Forbes, aka Maryann from True Blood. [People]
• "I'm happy to be a representative for curvier women, but I don't really want to be known as 'the fat one.' I don't really mind what people want to say about me, but it's just that I have two daughters and I don't want them growing up to believe that flesh is something to be ashamed of, particularly at their age. They need to understand not to take any notice. I'm happy with my shape." — Nigella Lawson. [Telegraph]
• "It's just a working relationship. We all have our different things that we're doing. We're not friends, but we are cordial." — Sheree Whitfield, on fellow Real Housewives Of Atlanta castmates NeNe, Kim, Lisa and Kandi, whom Sheree says she doesn't really hang out with. [E!]
• "It doesn't really matter, those are Michael's kids. He raised those kids. They were in his arms when they were born." — La Toya Jackson, when asked about the biological father of Michael Jackson's children. [NY Daily News]
• "I recognized myself in that character and most of all, I recognized that I have seen the Precious girls of the world and they have been invisible to me. None of us who see the movie can walk through the world and allow the Preciouses to be invisible again." —Oprah, on the lead character in Precious, the film for which she is the co-executive producer. [AFP]
• "[Director] Karyn Kusama and I are both outspoken feminists. We wanted to subvert the classic horror model of women being terrorized. I want to write roles that service women. I want to tell stories from a female perspective. I want to create good parts for actresses where they're not just accessories to men… The friendships that I had as an adolescent had this unparalleled intensity. I wanted to show how almost horrific that devotion can be. It's almost parasitic." — Diablo Cody on Jennifer's Body. [Reuters]

• Their movie's finished, so Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler went back to L.A. and had a "quiet dinner" on Wednesday. A source says:

They "appeared incredibly affectionate with one another" and were "kissing, hugging and leaning in to talk to each other for over two hours. But! They left separately and drove off in different directions. [Page Six]

• Victoria Beckham, who had been accused of leaving Medieval Times without leaving a tip, has sent a "generous gratuity" to her server, apologized for the mix-up, and all is well. [TMZ]
• More mixed feelings about Ellen on American Idol. [E!]
• Paula Abdul Tweeted: "I think Ellen will b a gr8 judge on Idol. She is wildly funny, talented and I wish her the best of luck!" [People]
• Oh Lord: Record labels are suing The Ellen DeGeneres Show, claiming that thousands of songs were played without permission. Boo, WTF, srsly? [Variety]
• In the Tila Tequila case, the San Diego County Sheriff's Department has handed off its evidence to the D.A,, and the D.A. has the power to file or reject charges against Shawne Merriman. Meanwhile, TT Tweeted: "A real man is able to apologize. A real woman is able to forgive and accept the apology......." [E!]
• Tila appears to have bruises all over her arms. [ONTD]
• This report asks, "Did a spurned request for a foursome lead to the fight between Shawne Merriman and bisexual girlfriend Tila Tequila?" The gist of it is that she walked in on him with two women, he asked her to join them, she got pissed and threatened to have sex with one of his friends; he choked her and threw her to the ground. [Page Six]
• Reports that Uma Thurman would be married at Kensington Palace in London: Wrong. [Daily Express]
• Picture this: Kanye West taking his first spinning class. FEEL THE BURN!!!1!! [Page Six]
• Either Stuart Townsend wears skirts or Charlize Theron likes to think he does. [NY Mag]
• If Penelope Cruz is pregnant, she's not saying. [Mirror]
• Looking for a job? Justin Timberlake is in search of an "Executive Vice President of Big Ideas" for his 901 Silver Tequila brand. The position comes with a signing bonus of $25,000. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love, Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl are not happy that players can unlock the Kurt Cobain character in Guitar Hero 5 and make him play songs by other artists like Bon Jovi and Bush. Novoselic and Grohl released a statement which read: . "It's hard to watch an image of Kurt pantomiming other artists' music alongside cartoon characters. Kurt Cobain wrote songs that hold a lot of meaning to people all over the world. We feel he deserves better." Courtney's Twitter feed contains similar outrage, but as this column notes: "we warn that the messages contain excessive profanity and demonstrate very poor grammar." [LA Times]
• Fashion's Big NIght Out saw Mary-Kate Olsen bartending at Bergdorf; Rihanna doing a five-minute lap around Intermix; and Ungaro's "artistic adviser," Lindsay Lohan, picking out a leather jacket at the store - then wearing it out the door after salesgirls ripped the tags off. [Gatecrasher]
• David Cross's new memoir, I Drink For A Reason, has an "amazing" author bio, which announces that he is "currently fucking Amber Tamblyn" and features a photo of her father, Russ Tamblyn. Cross says: "I cleared it with her, of course. She has an amazing, great sense of humor. She told her dad and her parents are super cool. Her dad laughed even harder than we did… So now we have to, like, stay together for a while." [NY Mag]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: A Tinsley Mortimer reality show is in the works. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars' Karina Smirnoff on her breakup with Maksim Chmerkovsky: "It comes with the territory that everything is in the public eye, but again, it is a private matter, it is a private relationship, and it should totally stay private." [ET]
• Ghostface Killah is dedicating some tracks on his new album to Natalie Portman. "I read in some interview she did in something called Interview magazine that she likes obscene rap music," Killah says. "When I read that, it was, like, 'Oh, shit, she would love the shit I got right here on this album!' It was wild, 'cause I remember her as the little girl in The Professional, and now she's all about the wild shit." Killah added, "Yo, if you see her, give her my number. Tell her we gotta make some music together." [Page Six]
• Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno is a web sensation! [AP]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert that was supposed to be in Vienna has been canceled. A new event will take place in London next year. [AP, Reuters]
• Maura Tierney has left the NBC show Parenthood, because of her ongoing treatments for breast cancer. [Variety]
• A woman went to see Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig on Broadway in A steady Rain and says: "They were great, but we could have done with more nudity." [NY Daily News]
• As you may recall, Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica Seinfeld, wrote a cookbook called Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food. Missy Chase Lapine wrote a book called The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals, and accused Seinfeld of copying her. A judge has thrown out the lawsuit and Seinfeld's lawyer says: "Jessica did not copy anything from anyone and created her best-selling cookbook in her own kitchen from her own experiences." Case closed. [USA Today]
• LaToya Jackson owes $745,670.27 on her "swanky" condo in Las Vegas, and could lose her home unless she comes up with the cash by the end of the month. [TMZ]
• Yee-haw: "Josh Hartnett has signed on to star in Gunslinger a revenge-driven tale set in the near future in the snowy wasteland of a post-apocalyptic America." [Variety]
• Fran Drescher is in talks with Fox News; she wants her own talk show. She's A Democrat, but says: "A lot of my fans watch Fox News." [US News & World Report]
• "I enjoy teaching. There is no stress. The students are great. Making movies is a nightmare. It's all about time management and stamping out brush fires. With this one, I'm just lucky I got it made and wasn't sued. I guess that means it's a success." — Todd Solondz, on his quasi-sequel to Happiness, Life during Wartime. [Guardian]
• "To have him pass away, I'm sure the term has been used before but you could actually feel a light go out.... All of a sudden, I had a responsibility [with] the only movie adaptation, and that's something I never wanted. His work will always be, and I mean it with all due respect to the movie and the cast, his work will always be better than the movie could have been. The fear was that this project that had been such a passion project now has a responsibility." — John Krasinski, on directing a film based on the short-story collection Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, by the late David Foster Wallace. [WSJ]
• "When I first read the script, I said, 'I know why they are calling me to do this — because they need a hunk to justifying why this woman is with him.'" — Antonio Banderas, on his role in the film The Other Man, which stars Laura Linney. [LA Times]

• Did Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones bond over their mutual issues with Barbara Walters? They may do a reality show described as "Oprah and Gayle King's cross-country trip [mixed] with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie's The Simple Life." [Perez Hilton]

• Meghan McCain says she's honored to guest host The View this Wednesday and Thursday because the show is, "the only place where I could watch women of different ages and backgrounds talk about current events in an open forum." [Daily Beast]
• Chris Brown will perform in the Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna on September 26. It will be his first public performance since he assaulted Rihanna. [Us]
• Katherine Jackson and other members of the Jackson family are mad at Jermaine Jackson over the Michael Jackson tribute concert. A source calls it "the Jermaine Jackson show" and says the family thinks there's no reason to do a tribute concert in a city MJ had not particular connection to... aside from his love for castles. [TMZ]
• Sources claim a recent blind item about a reality star hooking up with a singer is actually about John Mayer and Kristen Cavalleri. Their "friends with benefits" relationship has evolved, and they're considering going public. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Production of the film Red Sonja has come to a standstill because Rose McGowan was injured while doing stunts. "I had wrist and elbow surgery and they took part of my elbow out. I had really bad nerve damage from doing stunts - I do a lot of my own stunts," McGowan said. "I could no longer use my arm, but now I can hold a fork and drive so we're working our way up. It'll probably be another six months of rehab, but It's the price you pay for being really limber and being able to do back flips!" No word yet on whether she will get a replacement arm made out of a machine gun. [Fox News]
• Brad Pitt supposedly spent £50,000 designing and constructing a gerbil run for his kids' pets. [The Sun]
• Whitney Houston's album "I Look To You" debuted at number one this week, selling more than 300,000 copies. [Showbiz 411]
• Chris Robinson, Kate Hudson's ex-husband, is expecting his second child with girlfriend Allison Bridges in early 2010. [Us]
• A source says the rumors that Kristen Wiig is going to co-anchor Weekend Update with Seth Meyers are not true. [Entertainment Weekly]
• A tribute video played at DJ AM's memorial last week was released online yesterday. It features him behind the turntables, with family members and various celebrity friends. [E!]
• After watching the video, Travis Barker Tweeted: "This vid makes me smile from ear 2 ear and tear at the same time, miss u homie." [TMZ]
• Clark Gable's grandson, Clark Gable III, was stabbed in the chest at a Los Angeles house party after calling another guest "a very bad name." Police have arrested one person and are looking for another suspect. [TMZ]
• George Clooney has donated £12,000 to a charity his ex-girlfirend Lisa Snowdon is raising money for by jumping out of a plane. A source says, "George was so impressed with Lisa's guts and determination that he wanted to help. Lisa had no idea how generous he would be until she logged on to her website and saw how much he had put down." [Daily Express]
• Christina Milianmarried music producer The Dream last week at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. [TMZ]
• The heirs of J.R.R. Tolkien and New Line Cinema, which produced the Lord of the Rings trilogy, have settled a lawsuit, clearing the way for a two-film prequel based on The Hobbit. [AP]
• Elijah Wood is donating his genetic material to DNA 11, a personalized-art company that will create artwork based on his DNA. The work will be sold on eBay to benefit Art of Elysium, a charity for children with serious medical conditions. [People]
• Elle Macpherson's boyfriend Jeff Soffer is in serious debt due to a loan he took out to remodel the Fontainbleau resort in Florida, where Goldfinger and Scarface were filmed. [News.com.au]
• Karina Smirnoff and Maksim Chmerkovskiy of Dancing With the Stars have broken up. [E!]
• Chmerkovskiy dumped KSmirnoff because she was too high maintenance, according to a source who adds, "He simply couldn't take it anyomore." [Radar Online]
• Former Rolling Stones guitarist Bill Wyman says Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and other music video games, "encourage kids not to learn, that's the trouble. It makes less and less people dedicated to really get down and learn an instrument... I think it's a pity so I'm not really keen on that sort of stuff." [Telegraph]
• Taylor Swift wrote on her MySpace blog that when her backup singer Liz got sick, she sent her a get well card that "had a picture of a kitten making a sad face on the front. I feel like kitten cards make everything better, pretty much." She added, "I put Craisins in the card. Not packaged, just loose Craisins in the card," because they are, "basically the most awesome thing ever... Hopefully the combination of cute kittens and Craisins will bring Liz back to perfect health." [People]
• Hilary Swank says she didn't become interested in her current boyfriend/former agent John Campisi until her marriage to Chad Lowe started falling apart. She says, "There was no spark. What's interesting is, there was never anything. It wasn't until we were well into the dissipation of our respective relationships. Going through something so difficult at the same time, we became very good friends. We became closer and closer. It was so unexpected. We both recognised that if we were going to take the relationship to the next step, we could no longer work together." [Daily Express]
• Tony-winning singer-actress Christine Ebersole, who is currently doing a nightclub act with Michael Feinstein, says all she does all day is, "stay in my pajamas until I have to leave for work." [New York Magazine]
• Heidi Klum says she keeps her distance from Project Runway designers because, "Otherwise, I'd get too attached, and I'd take their life story into consideration, which I don't want to do. Either I like the clothes or I don't. I don't want to know that you live with your sick mother. I don't want to feel badly because they have a sad story, like, ‘Poor thing, let's keep him on.'" [NY Post]
• "OK, here's a problem that is holding back feminism and you see it on the blogs. We all hold each other up to an incredibly high standard in a way that men do not. Let's say a woman directs a movie that's not very good-everybody piles up on her. It's, like, "No! You're representing us! It has to be perfect!" And that's not how it works! Women should be allowed to make bad movies. Good movies. Porno movies. Terrible made-for-TV movies. Women just need to be out there directing as many movies as men do. We don't all have to be the model woman-what we need is to be more visible. We really, really are tough on each other." — Diablo Cody [The Frisky]

• Jamie Foxx apologized on the Tonight Show for his statements about Miley Cyrus (he called her a "little white bitch" and suggested she should "go catch chlamydia from a bicycle seat"), telling Jay Leno:

"I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far. I have a radio show...We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian. You know my heart. Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand." [E!]

• Miley's dad Billy Ray Cyrus thought Jamie Foxx's radio show comments were out of line, in case you were wondering. [E!]
• By the way: The 19-year-old hacker who broke into Miley Cyrus' MySpace last year is "very stressed" and in hiding. [E!]
• Another day, another Britney rumor; this time, it's that she's engaged to a 40-year-old real estate developer named John Sundahl. A source says the dude "got down on one knee in a Subway sandwich shop in Santa Monica" and offered Brit "a $4.5 million marquise-cut diamond." [Gatecrasher]
• Uh-oh, Britney's Circus tour might be a victim of the craptastic economy! She was supposed to add dates in Europe and Australia, but the outlook is now rather grim. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan on her Funny Or Die video: "I just think it's better to take something negative and turn it into something good... laughter is the BEST medicine." The video's director, Eric Appel, says: "She came up with the stuff about being a threat to all security guards — she improvised while doing it. She threw in a bunch of fun, funny stuff. People forget Lindsay Lohan's, like, a good actress." Wanna know why? Because we so rarely see her ACTING. [Us Magazine]
• Madonna's former nanny is still spilling deets about her time with her Madgesty! She says: "We weren't allowed to take any photographs of the family. We were given 'nanny cameras' so we could take photos of the children during their activities but when we got home we had to hand them in. The photographs were taken off and stored on Madonna's hard drive." [Daily Express]
• For crying out loud: Spencer Pratt wants a political career. He says: "Don't know if I'll be getting elected any time in the next century or so, but definitely going after mayor of L.A. and at least governor." [Us Mag via Pop Sugar]
• Is there another baby on the way for Heidi Klum? [MSNBC Scoop]
• When actors ask for money during a recession, they risk getting killed off. See: Edie of Desperate Housewives. Will Katherine Heigl's character on Grey's face the same fate? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Boo: The auction of Michael Jackson's stuff was called off yesterday; Jackson and the auction house reached a settlement. [AP]
• Mariah Carey has a Twitter, where she says things like "I gained a few pounds… My trainers back living w/me again..yippie." [E!]
• Oh. God. Mariah is covering Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." [Page Six]
• The 24-year-old Russian pop singer claiming to be the "mystery girl" to blame for the end of Mel Gibson's marriage is named Oksana Pochepa. She was seen "frolicking" with Mel on the beach earlier this year, and from the looks of these pictures she is not shy about her body. She says her relationship with Mel "is serious and I hope that our union will be real and strong and long-lasting." Good luck! [The Sun]
• Speaking of Mel Gibson, the writer of Passion Of The Christ thinks Mel owes him money. [TMZ]
• Stephen Colbert is heading to Iraq to entertain the troops! [Page Six]
• Zac Efron might star in a film based on classic animated TV show Jonny Quest, even though Jonny was 11 years old. In talks to play Race Bannon, the brawny dude from the show? Dwyane "The Rock" Johnson. [LA Times]
• This Twilight "news" sounds juicy but actually isn't: Kristen Stewart's boyfriend Michael is "really insecure" when it comes to Robert Pattinson. A source says: "Everywhere [Kristen] goes, [Michael] now wants to go too. He's extremely jealous. And let's just say he's been trying to be up in Vancouver a lot lately." Which leaves Robert by himself, poor thing. [E!]
• William Hurt to Marlee Matlin: "My own recollection is that we both apologized and both did a great deal to heal our lives. Of course, I did and do apologize for any pain I caused. And I know we have both grown. I wish Marlee and her family nothing but good." She has said that he was violent when they were together; she told Access Hollywood: "I always had fresh bruises every day. And if I had a split lip, or if...I mean, there were a lot of things that happened that were not pleasant…I was always afraid...of him, but I loved him. Or maybe I thought I did. But look, I was 19, he was 35." [E!]
• The lady accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen wanted the details of her divorce to be private; the judge said no way. [NY Post]
• Wow, does David Letterman really hate Jay Leno? Apparently Jay wrote him a letter after his open-heart surgery and Dave did not respond. GQ calls this "heartless." [New York Mag]
• You guys: The show hasn't started yet but one of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey is pregnant. [People]
• The folks at ONTD are calling Johnathon Schaech's blog "The Saddest Blog Of The Year." [ONTD]
• Survivor star Richard Hatch wants to live in Argentina after he's released from prison for tax evasion; a federal judge said no fucking way. [USA Today]
• An arrest warrant was issued for model Angie Everhart, but she has paid a fine and her lawyer says it was a misunderstanding. [RadarOnline]
• Law & Order : SVU has been renewed for an 11th season, but it's not clear whether stars Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay will return. How can the show move on without them? [LA Times]
• Words I never ever thought I would type: Apple's Steve Wozniak will walk Dancing With The Stars' Karina Smirnoff down the aisle at her wedding to Maksim Chmerkovskiy. [Page Six]
• Private Practice star Kate Walsh filed amended divorce papers on Monday; she doesn't want her estranged hubs to get spousal support. [ET]
• Blind item! "Which singer/talk show hostess should be more careful where she shops? She was taken recently to a downtown storage facility where she bought $10,000 worth of luxury designer goods of dubious provenance — not fake, but fallen off the truck." [Page Six]
• "The girls were out of control-they were doing drugs and they were making out and they were coming on to us in a big way. They might have been 15 or 16, but in their heads they were already 40. I don't think there was a virgin on the set, except maybe a couple of the guys." — says Gerald V. Casale, of DEVO, reminiscing on playing the "New Wave Bat Mitzvah" on '80s sitcom Square Pegs. He also says he did coke with Jami Gertz and Sarah Jessica Parker in the talent trailers. [Heeb]
• "See, I don't think of myself as funny. I think of myself as rather grave, actually. And I'm suspicious of fun. I never quite know what that is or how to deal with it or how to generate it. That's my fault. I know it's a burden on the people I'm with. It's tiresome." — Hugh Laurie. [Mirror]
• "I'm in love with Angelina Jolie. Everything she does, I adore. I'd like to do an action film where I could kick someone's ass. I want to be strong and empowered. I want to shock everybody. [I have] really strong legs. I inherited them from my dad, who has tree stumps for legs, basically. I've got big calves that look good. When I wear heels, it looks like I've worked out my legs a lot, which is why I love them. I also have a big, big big toe. I call it my goat toe. I can climb anything." — Vanessa Hudgens. [Ok!]
• "I will donate 100K to one individual's favorite non profit organization.Of course,you must convince me why by using 140 characters or less." — Hugh Jackman, on Twitter, encouraging people to Tweet their suggestions. [Telegraph]
• "How long do you think the whole Internet thing is gonna last? Are people gonna get sick of that in five, 10 years, maybe? They [my kids] won't get to be, like, 15, 16, typing in, like, the word 'Fuck' and their father's name - a kid wouldn't do that, right? This just completely undermines all parental authority I would ever have." — Ben Affleck, worried that the "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" skit he did with Jimmy Kimmel will be seen by his kids someday. [Daily Express]
• "I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife… I totally understand OJ. I get it." — Hulk Hogan. [Page Six]
• "My friend hypnotised me before I started rehearsals to have a real open mind. I was getting a bit nervous. My anxiety was getting to me. I was hypnotised to calm me down and it worked." — Mel B, on getting ready for her racy peepshow in Las Vegas. [Daily Express]
• "I said, 'Look I'm going to call out the elephant in the room. I've never done a part like this. I sound like a girl from the San Fernando Valley. I have nothing in my arsenal to prove to you I'm capable of doing this.'" — Drew Barrymore, on her casting meeting for Grey Gardens. [LA Times]
• This is my first action movie, and I love every minute of it. I have a wonderful role, named Virginia. I wish I could tell you more about who I am, but I had to sign a confidentiality agreement. And I'm a trading card, too! I said, 'Oh my God, I have to be the oldest female-action-figure trading card.' And it's a very odd child who will ask for my card." — Jane Alexander, 69, who is in Terminator: Salvation as well as the play Chasing Mamet. [NY Mag]
• "I WAS WORKING ON THIS DOPE ASS SONG WITH JARED AND BRANDON STOPPED BY. I PLAYED THEM SOME OF THE NEW JEEZY BEATS AND BEFORE EVERYBODY BOUNCED BRANDON HOPPED ON THE KEYBOARD AND I HOPPED ON THE MPC. SHIT WAS DOPE. OH AND YES THOSE ARE SWAROVSKI CRYSTALS ON BRANDON'S SHIRT BY DRIES VAN NOTEN." — Your Friend Kanye West, who is talking about Jared Leto and Brandon Flowers. Pic at the link! [Kanye UniverseCity]

• Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and all of their kids have hit the French Riviera. They're staying in a villa owned by Microsoft's Paul Allen that has breathtaking views of the Mediterranean Sea. A source says: "They love France and will now be here until after the babies are born and Angie is looking at Marseille hospitals as a potential place to give birth." [E!]
  
• These rumors about Mariah Carey marrying Nick Cannon will not die. Could they possibly be true??? [People]
  
• Gossip Girl gossip: Girl-on-girl action is on its way! [Perez Hilton]
  
• Plus! Lisa Loeb will make a cameo on Gossip Girl, playing a socialite. Hee! [LA Times]
  
• Paula Abdul spaced out or went cuckoo or something on American Idol. You can watch it here. [EW]

• Gwyneth Paltrow has broken her toes 30 times. She says: "I don't know what's wrong with me. Say there's a coffee table that's been there eight years. One day I'll just not know it's there and bash into it and break my toe." Is her macrobiotic diet giving her brittle bones or something? [Mirror]
• Gwyneth was also seen visiting a back specialist. And yet! She wears high-ass heels on the red carpet. [Daily Mail]
• Another story about Charlie Sheen and hookers, yawn. Although: His silk robe with"C. MaSheen'" embroidered over the pocket? Nice touch. [Page Six]
• Britney's brother Bryan Spears is dating actress Ivana Milicevic. You've seen her, she's been on TV and in a bunch of movies. [Page Six]
• Britney was seen walking around a spa in just her towel? Not sure why this is news. [The Sun]
• Newly sober Kirsten Dunst has been taking her All Good Things costar, Ryan Gosling, with her to 12-step meetings. But are they more than just costars? [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan: Seen "dancing, drinking and playing with her hair extensions." [Page Six]
• A judge has dismissed Ron Burkle's lawsuit against Italian businessman Raffaello Follieri, aka Anne Hathaway's boyfriend. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "What notoriously stingy actress buys books at her neighborhood Barnes & Noble downtown, only to try to exchange the dog-eared copies days later for cash?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff have not, repeat, NOT broken up. You may now return to your regularly scheduled apathy. [People]
• My Name Is Earl star Jason Lee is expecting a baby with girlfriend Cenren Alkac. Lee has a 4-year-old son, Pilot Inspektor, with his ex. So what kind of name will this kid get? [People]
• The title of the season finale of The Office is called "Goodbye, Toby." Plus: Spinoff rumors! [E!]
• Rapper T.I.: Has a new single, is hot. [ONTD]
• Diddy is hosting a $4 million "mega-party" to celebrate getting his name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. David Beckham is helping him. Diddy will have 10 private jets; five different custom-made Sean Jean outfits, including a tux, a smoking jacket, and a top hat and tails; $400,000 worth of booze; and goodie bags with his own damn perfume in them. [Mirror]
• A former UCLA Medical Center hospital worker has been indicted in Federal charges for the theft of medical records of celebs like Farrah Fawcett, Maria Shriver and 60 others. She accepted $4,600 from "an unnamed national media outlet" for the info. [Reuters]
• Is Amy Winehouse leaving her record label? [The Sun]
• There is video proof that Ashley Dupre agreed to be filmed for Girls Gone Wild. [Yahoo News]
• Is Ashlee Simpson returning to reality TV? [MSNBC]
• Grammy-winning singer Mya was scheduled to being performances in Chicago on Broadway, but she's broken her foot! Sucks. [Playbill]
• "We pray for Brody. Honestly, Brody was such a good friend to me. He hooked Heidi and I up, and I think that everything will work out eventually. I wish that Brody and I were still best friends, I pray every day that everything works out between us." — Spencer Pratt. [People]
• Uma Thurman's parents testified in court yesterday regarding her stalker case. Uma's mom said she believed the stalker, Jack Jordan, "was someone who would benefit from medical attention." [AP]
• Vanilla Ice is off the hook for domestic battery charges because his wife recanted her original statement. [Yahoo News]
• Simon Cowell pays no attention to smoking bans. "He lights up where he likes - and pays the fine if he has to," says a source. [The Sun]
• Edie Falco battled breast cancer in 2003 but never told any of her Sopranos costars. [Page Six]
• SO MANY blind items from Michael Musto! "What hyper-quirky stage actor (who's also known for movies and TV) does lots of coke and has sex in club bathrooms when the boyfriend's at home? What fashion-magazine editor—no, not the obvious one—still has no idea how to use the Internet? (She has to have e-mails read aloud to her and then dictates the reply.) What current anchor is said to have been lesbian lovers with that unhinged late anchor, according to ancient legend? Which female rocker best known from the '70s and '80s recently got so plowed she blew chunks all over a nightclub? Which star who went from Hollywood hotshot to joke to rebounding talent has an impressively large member to go with his award? What longtime r&b singer was spotted in Harlem, where she told a fan who accosted her: 'If you ain't the crack man, don't come near me!'? Which legendary actor's bisexual father is murmured to have died of AIDS, not of "cancer," as the family officially reported? Which scandal-ridden ex-TV personality would have gotten a gay record deal, but he wouldn't come out of the closet? Shouldn't someone say, 'Who do you think you are?' Which star who denies being gay used to give so-so head and has a penis that's even less than four and a half inches? What famous grandson is so delightfully kinky he recently lodged M&Ms up his butt, turning his hole into a veritable McFlurry of sexual delight? (Alas, they melted before they could be of any use.) About which talk-show host's supposed girlfriend was Rosie O'Donnell heard to say: 'Look at her nails! She could never be a lesbian with those nails!'?" [Village Voice]

• Amy Winehouse arrived at Pentonville prison for a visit with the hubs wearing a puffy heart-shaped pin that read "Blake." Unfortunately, she was turned away, because she was late and visiting hours were over. These tears dry on their own. [The Sun]
  
• Rikki Rockett of Poison was arrested on a rape warrant as he stepped off of a flight from New Zealand at LAX on Monday. Can Bret Michaels stop frenching blow-up dolls long enough to help an old friend out? [TMZ]
  
• Grey's Anatomy hottie Justin Chambers speaks out about his sleep disorder: "It's a biological sleep disorder. Your mind keeps racing, and your body is tired. It wants to go to sleep, but it can't." Hmm, maybe that's why he has 5 kids? [People]
  
• "I'm not sure I can sing 'Holiday' or 'Like A Virgin' ever again. I just can't. Unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. [Like if] some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he's going to have to a 17-year-old." —Madonna. [People]

• Madonna was also heard bitching about traffic congestion charges in London, LOL. [Mirror]
• Oh, and Madonna is on the cover of the new "green" issue of Vanity Fair, looking like she will fucking eat you for breakfast. [The.Life Files]
• Have Kate Moss and Jamie Hince set a date? A source says they'll get married in September. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger's will has been released. The 2003 document leaves 50% of his assets to his sisters and the rest to his parents. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears is on a health kick and has been having colon cleaning sessions at a Beverly Hills clinic, TMI!!! [Mirror]
• Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale: Hoping Gwen's unborn will be a girl! Harajuku girl, hollaback girl, just a girl, etc. [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom: Seen having dinner, oooh. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars Karina Smirnoff: Dating Mario Lopez? Or R&B singer Mario? Or both? [Page Six]
• Hillary and Bill Clinton are in the new Martin Scorsese Rolling Stones movie, rocking out. [Rush & Molloy]
• The Hills resident dude Brody Jenner was kicked out of a Los Angeles club for grabbing a bottle of vodka from behind the bar when he wasn't served fast enough and then squirting lemon in the bartender's eyes. Asshole. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper T.I. pleaded guilty to federal weapons possessions charges and will spend one year in prison, sigh. Still like his cheekbones. [TMZ]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were both in Vegas this week, but stayed in different hotels. You know, it used to feel like, she's an idiot for being with that douche; now it's like, naw, they deserve each other. [People]
• Will Ivana Trump and her 24-years-younger fiancé, Rossano Rubicondi, stop fighting long enough to get married on April 12? He nearly got arrested during a domestic disturbance last week. But OK! magazine has the rights to the wedding pix, so they'd better say I do even if they don't. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty is into Scientology now? For the love of Xenu. [The Sun]
• Paris Hilton was a judge in the Miss Turkey pageant in Istanbul, and honestly, it hurts to think of her as representing us internationally. But anyway here's video of her bellydancing, sigh. [People]
• Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz has been battling severe depression and mental illness. Not to make light of the situation but a haircut might help. [People]
• Celine Dion has postponed a series of Australian concerts due to a throat infection — but her heart will go on! [Reuters]
• Tom Cruise joining the cast of the upcoming J.J. Abrams Star trek movie? No. [MSNBC]
• But! Tom Cruise is trying to get back in the game: He dined with onetime nemesis Sumner Redstone of Viacom yesterday. [WSJ]
• Is Jessica Simpson secretly married to Tony Romo? Or is her mom just effing with us? [News.com.au]
• Actress Morgan Fairchild is campaigning to raise awareness about the warning signs of a stroke. [UPI]
• There's some weird (Czech?) rumor that Kylie Minogue will announce her engagement to Olivier Martinez at a concert on May 12. [PopDirt]
• Tina Fey! Spilling about what's next on 30 Rock! "Both of Liz's former boyfriends, Dennis the Beeper King [Dean Winters] and Floyd [Jason Sudeikis] will be back briefly. And Liz does have a little bit of a pregnancy scare. She probably hooks up once every seven years, yet when it rains, it pours. We have a storyline coming up where Jack tries to enlist Tracy to be the new black face of the Republican Party." All this and more! [LA Times]

• A "spotter," someone who follows celebrities and tips off the paparazzi, was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident last night while chasing Britney Spears. [TMZ]
  
• Speaking of, Nicole Kidman screamed and feared for her life while being chased by a paparazzo — and has been subpoenaed to prove it in a court case involving a celebrity photographer and an Aussie newspaper. [News.com.au]
  
• Back to Britney: The singer is auctioning off a signed copy of her CD to raise money for UNICEF. She's partnered with photo agency x17, known for taking unflattering shots of her! Hmm. [People]
  
• Kevin Federline's lawyer may subpoena footage that shows Britney running a red light with her kids in the car. Uh-oh! [USA Today]
  
• The surgeon who worked on Kanye West's mother, Dr. Donda West, says that her death following her tummy tuck and breast reduction was unforeseen and could have been caused by many factors. [TMZ]
  
• Kanye West thanks everyone for their support and kind words. [People]

• Kate Moss is staying with a pal in London and the neighbors are "angry" with the late night boozy bashes. Man, she seems so fun. [Mirror]
• Singer Boy George has been charged with false imprisonment for allegedly chaining a male escort to a wall in his apartment. Uh, there's a "Karma Chameleon" joke in there somewhere. [Mirror]
• Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend Camilla Alves was spotted shopping for baby furniture in L.A. Sunday night. She could be pregnant! Or, you know, have a friend with a baby! [Rush & Molloy, 5th from bottom]
• Newsflash! Eva Mendes loves diamonds. We hate non-newsy gossip. [Page Six]
• Ben Affleck, Eva Mendes, Reese Witherspoon, Morgan Freeman and Joaquin Phoenix are among the celebs who are in a PSA for heath-care reform. Millionaires feel your pain, people! [People]
• Justin Timberlake=Bob Hope? JT is taking over as host of the PGA Tour's annual Las Vegas event in 2008. The inaugural Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open will take place next October. [E!]
• Karina Smirnoff of Dancing With The Stars had surgery on her "twice-broken" nose for "medical as well as aesthetic" reasons. [People]
• Beyoncé has upset the people of Reno, Nevada because of a radio station billboard on which she appears in a bikini. One resident calls the billboard "obscene" and says the image is "a naked lady. All she has on is two little triangles that cover her breasts." [Rolling Stone]
• Are the Owen Wilson/Jessica Simpson "dates" being arranged by publicists? Jessica is working on a country album "so now she's been conveniently introduced to Owen, who is a fellow Texan," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Amy Winehouse visited her husband Blake Fielder-Civil in prison today, telling him that she booked a "backpackers" holiday to India for the two of them during Christmas and New Year's. Leaving the country should solve everything! [Daily Mail]
• An Andy Warhol painting owned by Hugh Grant could be sold at auction for more than 10 times what the actor paid. The painting is of Liz — Taylor, not Hurley. [Telegraph]