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This Week In Tabloids: JLaw Wants Chris Martin to Impregnate Her

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we move into a mansion in New Jersey only to find Gwyneth Paltrow has started sending us packages containing things like recipes for gluten-free versions of whatever we cooked the night before, moisturizers, cases of SmartWater, and sex tips based on what she’s “been observing through… » 7/15/15 3:10pm 7/15/15 3:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Brad Pitt Is a Fan of Having Sex With Men

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we impulse buy a first class ticket to Nice, take a train to Cannes, crash the red carpet, and scream compliments at Cate Blanchett until we are thrown into the sea by her bodyguards. Today, Justin dumped Jen after a 990-day engagement, Kylie is still pregnant, Kourtney is mad at… » 5/20/15 4:00pm 5/20/15 4:00pm

The Kardashians Are Worried About Kylie

Is there a planet in retrograde? Something is surely amiss because suddenly the Kardashian family is concerned about little Kylie Jenner. A source told People that while Kylie’s family doesn’t think she’s getting out of control, they’ve become concerned about the influence of her 25-year-old boyfriend Tyga. The source… » 5/13/15 8:50pm 5/13/15 8:50pm

Kylie Jenner Is High as Fuck: Could She Be High?

Multiple outlets are reporting today that Kylie Jenner may have been high recently. The video that led them to such a wild theory was allegedly ripped from Jenner’s Snapchat and has since been posted on multiple fan Instagram accounts. In it, the 17-year-old says, “I’m high as fuck,” and takes a bite of some kind of… » 5/08/15 2:50pm 5/08/15 2:50pm

These Are the Best Captions in Kim Kardashian's Book of Selfies

Selfish, Kim Kardashian-West’s book of selfies, was released Tuesday and I spent nearly half an hour flipping through each of its 445 pages. Though I had spent many months looking forward to the silly collection of photographs, I was delighted to find that Selfish had a surprise waiting up the sleeves of its dust… » 5/06/15 1:30pm 5/06/15 1:30pm

Kim Kardashian Lies About Being a Shy Teen So We Like Her More

Was a shy, confidence-free Kim Kardashian replaced with a bratty teen in 1994? If we’re to believe her responses in an interview with Matt Lauer at the Time 100 gala (it’s truly the gift that keeps on giving), that might be the case. A Paul Is Dead-level swap is the only explanation for the glaring inconsistencies… » 4/23/15 1:01pm 4/23/15 1:01pm

This Week In Tabloids: Sofia Vergara's On An Embryo-Destroying Rampage

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we fly to Los Angeles, rent a car at LAX, drive to Calabasas to find those salads the Kardashians are always eating, have one for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, drive back to LAX, and fly home. This week: Bruce will hate Kris for the rest of time, one busy man impregnated… » 4/15/15 3:30pm 4/15/15 3:30pm

Ex-Scientologist Leah Remini Thanks 'Brave' Documentary Filmmakers

Former Scientologist Leah Remini thanked HBO documentary filmmakers behind Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief via Twitter earlier today, adding in an interview with People that she's "not trying to bash anybody, and I'm not trying to be controversial. I just want people to know the truth." » 3/30/15 8:30pm 3/30/15 8:30pm

Shade Court: Mother-In-Law Shade, Emojis, and VH1 Goes Off the Rails 

I apologize in advance for the abundance of Kardashians and Jenners in this week's Shade Court. Their presence reveals that even I am but a humble spoke in the wheel of this celebrity machine that they've built to ensure that they'll have more money than anyone could possibly spend in a lifetime. Either that, or… » 2/20/15 3:45pm 2/20/15 3:45pm

Bruce Jenner Is On The Verge Of Another Sports Milestone 

In the summer of 1976, Bruce Jenner was just about the biggest athlete in America. He had just returned from the Montreal Olympics, where he had won gold in men's decathlon, setting a new world record in the process. He was the AP's Athlete of the Year. He was on the front cover of the Wheaties box, when being on the… » 2/06/15 9:44am 2/06/15 9:44am