• Miley Cyrus was photographed wearing a bikini in the Bahamas; the 16-year-old Tweeted a joke about her "jiggling thighs," but then went off on critics who called her fat:

"Talk all you want. I have my flaws. I'm a normal girl, there's things about my body I would change but stop with calling me f*t… People that are so okay with being so hateful disgust me and need to spend last time on a gossip website and more time a. reading your bible b. reading stories/articles about what happens when cyber abuse and name calling happens. Kids hurt themselves." The sage Disney star added: "oh and ps if your thighs don't jiggle go see a doctor. thanks" [Daily Mail]

• This report claims that Mariah Carey "threw a fit" in Cannes before the premiere of Precious because the director, Lee Daniels, was late. But an eyewitness says she was "in a great mood" at the after party and Daniels says, "I was not late." Another day, another faux drama. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna, David Banda, Jesus Luz and Lourdes went to a Kabbalah service over the weekend, but no one seems to know if Madge and Jesus had a commitment ceremony or not. One thing is for sure: Lourdes going to the synagogue Kaballah center wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt under her white button down = awesome. [Daily Mail]
• Bradley Cooper says the rumor about he and Jennifer Aniston dating is toro caca: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Now that Cameron Diaz has split from Paul Sculfor, she was seen having a lunch date with Adam Levine from Maroon 5. He's on the herpes tree, right? [Daily Mail]
• Cynthia Nixon: Engaged to longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni. [ET]
• Naomi Campbell is dating Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin, whom this paper calls "the man who has tamed" her. Because, you know, wimminz is craycray without a good man. Here is an actual sentence from the piece: "Perhaps it is Vladislav's relaxed manner that has calmed her down. Or maybe Naomi, 38, finds the property tycoon's massive bank balance – said to be £1.5billion – a reassuring influence. One thing's for sure…she isn't attracted by his dodgy fashion sense, judging by those swim shorts – nor his 'man boobs.'" [Mirror]
• Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds and Betty White star in this hilarious Funny or Die video and frankly, Ms. White steals the show. Too bad it's basically viral marketing for The Proposal. [Funny Or Die]
• A few days ago, there was a "ruckus" at Paris Hilton's house; turns out someone prank called the heiress and told her that Tinkerbell was roadkill on Mulholland Drive. Paris freaked out; neighbors thought they heard an argument and called cops; they really want Paris out of the neighborhood. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Dustin Lance Black, who wrote Milk, is glad Miss California Carrie Prejean kept her crown: "What I think she does is help identify a population that we need to reach out to," he says. "The only way we could get through to some of these groups that vote against us on election day is by telling our stories. That process of education breaks down the stereotypes, the lies and the myths. I'm actually glad [Carrie] didn't lose her job." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Beyoncé is obsessed with Sex And The City and thinks of herself as a Carrie: "She was the person who held all the friendships together." [Mirror]
• "Amber Tamblyn and David Cross Make Out In Public." [Page Six]
• James Gray, who directed Two Lovers, says Gwyneth Paltrow asked him to inspect her breasts: "Gwyneth told me, 'I don't care about nudity, I'll give you everything you need. But I've had two children and I just don't think they look very good any more. Do me a favour, come into my trailer and I'll show them to you and if you think they look OK I'll do it.' So I marched in there and I told her they looked great." And! if you want to see one, nipple and all, click the link. [The Sun]
• Emily Blunt was supposed to be in Get Him To The Greek with Russell Brand, playing a "sex-crazed" pop star who beds Brand's character. But: "She got cold feet and pulled out. She's no prude but the stumbling block was that her character had far too many explicit love scenes." [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais wore pajamas to the white house. [The Sun]
• A reporter spoke to Chelsy Davy about her ex, Prince Harry, and writes this: "At a recent dinner the blonde South African, who dated Harry for four years, was asked why she had split with the Prince. She shot me a look of disdain and replied: 'Because he cheated on me.'" [Mirror]
• Is Fergie bisexual? She says: "Put it this way, I've experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend." [The Sun]
• Farrah Fawcett's son, currently serving a jail sentence, was allowed to visit her on Friday — the same day Farrah's Story aired — to "say goodbye." [NY Daily News]
• There may be another cut of Farrah's Story in the works, emphasizing that her type of cancer is curable if caught early. [MSNBC]
• Michael Jackson has said he will not perform with Janet and the Jackson 5, but some concert promoter is still trying to make it happen, and if it doesn't, he'll sue MJ. [TMZ]
• Also, contrary to earlier reports, Michael Jackson does not have skin cancer. A spokesperson says the singer "doesn't have any diseases whatsoever." [Guardian]
• Ewan McGregor wants to get a pilot's license but frets that he won't be able to rack up flying hours: "What worries me about it is if I get the licence, what happens if I'm always going away? I don't like to fly when I'm making a movie, so I'm gonna be the most inconsistent pilot." [Daily Express]
• Amy Adams, who is engaged but "too busy" to plan a wedding, says she prepared for Night At The Museum 2 to be on IMAX screens by doing Pilates "as often as I could." [People]
• Rumer Willis guest stars tonight on Medium, alongside Angelica Huston; executive producer Glenn Gordon Caron was the one who gave Rumer's dad, Bruce Willis, his big break in Moonlighting. [AP]
• Oh, and Rumer Willis is a fan of Twitter: "It's a great place for starting a new era of people being less harsh or judgmental. You can really get to know people and everybody is just a human. Just because they have a different job doesn't make them any less a person than anybody else." [AP]
• A psychic who works as a producer on The Ghost Whisperer knew Jennifer Love Hewitt would never marry actor Ross McCall. Freaky! [Page Six]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre are holding "crisis talks" to try and saved their shattered marriage. Although she is in the Maldives and he is in Cyprus. [Daily Mail]
• this paper asks Kristin Scott Thomas: Have you kept in touch with Prince? I read that the song "Better With Time," on his last album, was an ode to you. She replies: "If it's true, it's fantastic. He came to see "The Seagull" [when Scott Thomas was acting on Broadway last year] and was completely wowed by it. A lot of people knew what we were doing and he just turned up. He is incredibly intelligent and talented - if he's written a song for me, it's just the most wonderful present. He's just brilliant, brilliant, brilliant at what he does. What's really great about getting older is that down the road you meet people you haven't seen for a long time and they're still doing something you really admire." Thomas's film debut was as a topless French socialite in Under The Cherry Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Mary Carey, a former patient of Dr. Drew Pinksy, has released a porn titled Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [TMZ]
• Did you know that Catherine Zeta-Jones used to be engaged to Hollywood producer Jon Peters — the same guy who's been dishing about Barbra Streisand? [Daily Mail]
• Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller are over, for real this time. Sienna is now "getting friendly" with Josh Hartnett. [Mirror]
• Jason Priestley and his wife rushed their 1-year-old daughter Ava from a Von's grocery store to the hospital on Saturday — no one knows what happened, but he kid is okay. When i was a kid i got my finger pinched by the wheel while sitting in the bottom of a Kroger shopping cart and the butcher wrapped it up with tape. True story. [TMZ]
• Larry King's 11th book is a memoir; the man has been married eight times to seven women. He's had a personal relationship with every president since Richard Nixon. He says: "If you're going to write an autobiography, you can't leave things out." [USA Today]
• There will be a Broadway musical based on First Wives Club. You're been warned. [Variety]
• William Hurt, Jessica Chastain and Vanessa Redgrave will appear in Ralph Fiennes' directorial debut, Coriolanus, which is a Shakespearean Roman tragedy but will be set in the current day as a political thriller. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Tilda Swinton will star in a film (based on a novel) called We Need to Talk About Kevin. She'll play a "smart, educated New York mother who does her best to raise a son she never wanted in the first place." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Liam Neeson and Jennifer Connelly will star in What's Wrong With Virginia, and the film will be the directorial debut of Dustin Lance Black, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Milk. [Variety]
• Rita Wilson has sold a script; it's a comedy called Terms Of Embarrassment, and revolves around a middle-aged couple who wind up attending the same college as their son. Although she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mamma Mia!, this is her first script sale. [Variety]
• Milla Jovovich will star alongside Robert De Niro and Edward Norton in the psychological thriller Stone. [Variety]
• Slumdog Millionaire child star Ayush Mahesh Khedekar got another job! He'll co-star in a Swiss film called Shyam's Secret. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• If you want to know what kind of tunes Quentin Tarantino uses as "music to kill Nazis by" in his new flick, Inglourious Basterds, click the link. [Page Six]
• Star Trek wasn't strong enough to take the top spot at the box office two weekends in a row: Angels & Demons beat the sci-fi flick with $48 mil. [NY Daily News]
• Sadie Frost is reportedly working on a tell-all book, in which she will dish about "infamous bedhopping sessions" involving ex-hubby Jude Law, Supergrass drummer Danny Goffey and his wife Pearl Lowe (mother of Daisy). [Mirror]
• "It was the pills I was taking; they had my mood really fucked up. I was already depressed and with the drugs it just became a vicious cycle of depression. And as if my drug problem wasn't bad enough, when Proof died it was like, 'Son of a bitch, what I am going to do now?' I went through a lot when he died. It was the worst time in my life. It just gave me a real legitimate excuse, in my head at least, to use drugs. I didn't care if my drug problem got worse at that point so I took more pills. And the more I said fuck it and took more pills, the higher my tolerance got. The higher my tolerance got, the more I needed those pills in my body just to feel normal and not feel sick. It's a vicious cycle. I got over it all last year. I ended up coming out of all that shit that was cluttering my mind and as I came up out of the haze from the pills and everything, shit started to get clearer." — Eminem, whose album, Relapse, drops tomorrow. [Guardian]
• "It feels a little too self-loathing to me. When I go back and listen to it… it just feels like I'm pissing and moaning about whatever. It sounds like in my head I feel like I have all these things to piss and moan about. And maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I don't know, but to actually bring that kind of shit to the forefront like that, I just don't agree with it." — Eminem on his last album, Encore. [Guardian]
• "One of the main connections I had with my character was that journey that you go through when you're about to have a baby. I could relate to the people giving you so much information that you didn't need or want or ask for and also having some of it be completely outrageous." — Maya Rudolph, on her film, Away We Go, which also stars John Krasinski. [UPI]
• "Some girls were mean. They made fun of me because I dressed differently. Nuns ran my school, so I was suppressing this part of myself for a long time. It wasn't until later that I realized my true passions were music, art and performance... definitely shock art." — Lady GaGa. [Daily Mail]
• "I don't know if I'm fashion-obsessed. I think when I'm working, yes, but when I'm at home I usually wear the same thing every day. I have my straight-leg jeans and a pair of Christian Louboutins and a little jacket and a white shirt. I get sent about 15 designer bags a month. I can only imagine how much they cost. Even I wouldn't buy some of them." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• Speaking of age, you turn 49 next week. You're famously candid about aging, especially for an actress. "They did tell me to shut up a long time ago: 'You mustn't say you're 35, say you're 30.' I thought, 'This is ridiculous! Why should I?' In English and American cinema, people my age are immediately categorized into either campy, kind of clowny middle-aged women making them appear much older than they really do look or you're playing someone's grandmother. In Europe, we have this fantastic tradition of really enjoying women over 40, of that not being a taboo at all - people like Catherine Deneuve. Look at [Pedro] Almodóvar, the way he films women with such care and affection. The filmmakers here just love women who've been around a bit longer, they make those wrinkles look beautiful. In English or American films, they just want you to be old and shut up." — Kristin Scott Thomas. [NY Daily News]

• Ashton Kutcher elaborately pranked CNN and Ted Turner:

He threw a banner with his Twitter name, aplusk, over the CNN neon sign at the Atlanta, GA news center. Earlier in the day, he'd visited a restaurant owned by Ted Turner, Ted's Montana Grill, and, with the help of some friends, neatly stacked hundreds of boxes of Ding Dongs in front of the establishment. Kutcher had challenged CNN to a Twitter race, saying he would donate 10,000 mosquito bed nets to charity for World Malaria Day if he beat CNN, and 1,000 if he lost. CNN agreed to do the same. "CNN lost. That's what happened," Kutcher explained. "I'm just fulfilling a promise I made ... that I'd do this thing and I'm doing it." [CNN]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz are indeed having some kind of Kabbalah commitment ceremony, but Jesus's dad says it's not necessarily legally binding: "I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity." Yeah, no way she is letting him near her cash. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse's father says he fears for her life: "After she almost died twice from drug related problems, to see her walking, smiling - she has progressed so much. But now, if it's alcohol instead of hard drugs - I don't think I can go through that again. I've decided to distance myself, and whatever happens, happens. It's her life. It's her career. It's her decision." [Ok! UK]
• Britney Spears is taking her Circus tour to Europe, which means her kids are going, which means Kevin Federline is getting a free trip as well. [E!]
• Oh, nice headline: "Kelly Clarkson And 'K-Fed' Hit The 'Big' Time With Weight Gains." [Gatecrasher]
• Real Housewives feel remorse! Kelly Bensimon is sorry for being obnoxious to Bethenny Frankel: She emailed, "I honestly owe you an apology." Apparently when Kelly went off on Bethenny there were other reasons she was upset: she had an ex-boyfriend "harassing" her "like crazy," she was late because she had to "organize the girls to go to the beach" and, she claims, "My driver who has been with me since I was 23 told me he had terminal cancer." [Page Six]
• The home of Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, child star of Slumdog Millionaire, has been destroyed by the government. Authorities claim he and other families were squatting on land they did not own, and now, Azharuddin says: "We are homeless, we have nowhere to go." [BBC News]
• In the new Essence, Jennifer Hudson opens up about her murdered mother: "I was always a mama's baby," she says. "I'd go and sleep in her bed until I was 15 years old." Ugh. Sadness! She also says: "The thing that keeps me going is knowing that God is in control. It's like, if He placed me here then I must be prepared." [People]
• Details are leaking out about what really happened the night of the Met Gala: Kiefer Sutherland and Brooke Shields were both drunkety drunk drunk drunk; Jack McCollough did bump into Brooke; she did fall; but it had more to do with the fact that she was wasted and wearing heels. Brooke was fine, but Kiefer "insisted" that McCollough apologize, and then got all nuts and headbutted the designer. Kiefer had blood on his forehead and Brooke was like, "What is that?" A source says: "She thought it was a joke or maybe cherry juice and LICKED IT!!!!!" And! Brooke didn't remember any of it until she read it in the paper the next day. [Perez]
• "Kiefer Sutherland talks Jack Bauer's deathbed and what's next on 24." [LA Times]
• Practice your curtsey: Prince Harry is coming to NYC! [NY Daily News]
• Oh, good: A job for Lindsay Lohan! She'll star in an "indie fantasy comedy" with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews (?!) and Alanis Morissette (!!). The plot revolves around a grad student who spends the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island and discovers an "eccentric community of characters" hiding a secret. And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left when you went away… [Variety]
• Will Olivia Palermo of The City get a "job" at Elle? [Page Six]
• Remember that Absolutely Fabulous remake with Kristin Johnston? Fox "passed" after seeing the pilot. In other words, the project is dead, sweetie darling. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Susan Boyle rode in an airplane for the first time in 8 years, to go from Scotland to London for some voice lessons. This gave the paper permission to call her "The Airy Angel." [The Sun]
• Peaches Geldof was actually heard saying "Don't you know who I am?" while trying to get into a club in London. It didn't work. [Daily Mail]
• Beyoncé and T.I. are the artists with the most BET Award nominations; Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Keri Hilson, Jennifer Hudson, Jazmine Sullivan, Kanye West, Keyshia Cole and Jamie Foxx are also up for prizes. Jamie Foxx hosts; the ceremony is June 28. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Farrah Fawcett's video diary of her struggle with cancer airs tomorrow, but here's a preview. [NY Post]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett recommends the Gosselins of Jon & Kate Plus 8 "get out while they can" and "step off the reality TV gravy train and reclaim their lives." She writes: "Celebrity that comes by way of reality only ends badly. Step away from that sippy cup of confidence that's saying that you can still have the same appeal if you're not together. Apart, you're not the characters those 4.6 million people wanted to watch on TV." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre's split might just be a publicity stunt. Snooze. [Daily Mail]
• Jordan's dressage coach denies being involved with her. Also, LOL pix of Jordan in riding gear. [The Sun]
• This other dressage dude says Jordan's hubs Peter Andre is jealous and always has been. [Daily Mail]
• If you watched American Idol last night, you saw Alicia Keys asking people to text for charity as part of her work for Keep A Child Alive. [AP]
• John Mayer dated this model/actress and she's been babbling and blabbing (blabbling?) about him and how he feels about breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, saying: "He's never really got over it and he still talks about her a lot. He's been playing guitar alone at night, pining over her." Yawn. NEXT. [Perez]
• John Mayer once texted starlet Jessie James, "Let me tuck you in. I want to see you." [Page Six]
• If you liked Cornify, you might like to Kanyefy, with the Kanye West shutter-shades inspired Kanye Vision Bookmarklet. OMG what happens if you use them together?!?!? [F.A.T.]
• Well now I feel really really old: It's the 20th anniversary of Lenny Kravitz's debut album, Let Love Rule. He's celebrating by issuing a remaster with additional material, and says: "If you had asked me 20 years ago if I thought the world would be a better place in 20 years, I would have thought yeah, I would have thought that we'd have some kind of evolution even if it was minimal, but in actuality we are in a much worse place as a global community and as just the planet earth, itself, environmentally as well. I'm not less hopeful. I take the position of remaining optimistic but there's a much deeper hill to climb." [AP]
• Whoa: Mel Gibson paid his wife to stay quiet about their separation, which happened three years ago. He agreed to give her $52 million per year. For that amount of cash, I won't say another word about you Mel. Honest! [MSNBC]
• Rob Lowe and one of his former nannies have both decided to dismiss their lawsuits against each other; Lowe is still in another legal battle with a different nanny. [People]
• Barbra Streisand's ex, Jon Peters, is spilling secrets about how the diva was sexually abused by a slimy movie mogul and had affairs with three of her leading men. [Page Six]
• Cheers star John Ratzenberger has filed a restraining order against his 45-year-old ex girlfriend because she has "indicated that it is common in many country western songs for women to set the cars of their former boyfriends on fire." [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which infamously perverted actor should start checking his dates' IDs? He may not realize that he recently went out with some serious jailbait!" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's known that Jenny Craig has the best tasting food. That's just a fact." — Valerie Bertinelli. [ABC News]
• "That's such a tough question. I would say, probably something in the health industry. It's too late to go to medical school. I'd travel. I'd go back to the years that I never did what I'd wish I'd done, which was travel Europe and backpack. That sounds slightly romantic. What I would do? I don't know. Maybe become a chef. There's so much more to do. It's almost overwhelming. I've gotten to a great place in my career." — Jennifer Aniston, when asked what she would do if she could ditch acting for some other pursuit. [USA Today]
• "I am a real threat to cover 'White Christmas' this year. I'm warning you now: I'm ready, cocked and loaded." — Iggy Pop, to Relix. [Page Six]
• "[Sunglasses] are seriously useful. I can sit in a show and if I am bored out of my mind, nobody will notice… At this point, they have become, really, armor." — Anna Wintour. [Page Six]
• "I'm a completely different person than Lauren. I have a lot more energy. I'm more outgoing. I'm a little more spontaneous. And she has a boyfriend so she's not dating on the show. I'm very open to dating and finding a guy." — Kristin Cavallari, who is the new star of The Hills. [EW]

[New York, April 18. Image via INF]

• Madonna took Jesus Luz to a Kabbalah service. Again. This paper calls her "the world's most boring date." [Daily Mail]

• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou got married in Africa over the summer??? Well, it was a ceremony. But it's not necessarily legal in the U.S. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Holmes has to make weekly written confessions as part of her "commitment" to Scientology. "Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend," says a source. "If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened." [Daily Mail]
• Jolie-Pitt alert: After filming a few scenes for Salt in Washington DC, Angelina and the brood will hit New York tomorrow. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now that Amy Winehouse is rested and ready after a long vacay in St. Lucia, she says she's got writer's block. "I'm not feeling creative," she says. "I start things but I don't finish them. I know when stuff is rubbish." [Mirror]
• Uh-oh: Amy Winehouse has been denied a US work visa and can't appear at Coachella next month. [Mirror]
• Britney Spears spent Saturday visiting sick kids at Miami's Children's Hospital. [People]
• Chris Brown has been hard at work, recording tracks for his new album. It's odd thinking about anyone buying it. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh, wait: Guess who is experiencing steady album sales? Chris Brown. [Perez]
• Meanwhile, Rihanna is also focusing on music. [Yahoo News via E!, Extra]
• TMZ's Harvey Levin says the unseen Rihanna photos are worse than the one leaked: He calls them "horrific" and "monstrous." [Tennessee Guerilla Women]
• Chris Brown wants his plea to be to a misdemeanor — with no jail time. [TMZ]
• Why is Chris Brown up for a Kids' Choice Award? A Nickelodeon exec says he "was nominated by kids several months ago, and the kids who vote will ultimately decide who wins in the category." [TMZ]
• Oprah to Rihanna: "He will hit you again." [NY Daily News]
• How do we feel about this: Ashlee Simpson landed a role on the new Melrose Place. [EW]
• Zanessa! Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens will get married in September, says this source whose reliability we question. Disney wedding? We've got dresses! [PopCrunch]
• Prince Harry was seen "laughing and joking" with Astrid Harbord, a friend of Kate Middleton's. This paper calls her "the new blonde." [Daily Mail]
• This piece is all about how Freida Pinto got cast in Slumdog Millionaire; she was a model and had an "edge" because she was "confident and articulate." [Hindustan Times]
• So you know how Michael Jackson's possessions were up for sale? The auction house catalogs have been published. See a painting of MJ in Henry the Eighth garb; a carousel horse given to him by Liz Taylor, and some sculptures, including one of two boys plating leapfrog. [Fox 411]
• One of Martha Stewart's dogs has gone to heaven: Ghenghis Khan died in a freak propane explosion. [TMZ]
• The guy who usually dubs Sean Penn's voice for all of his movies in Brazil refused to do the voice in Milk. "I did not feel comfortable with the job," he said. Is it because Harvey Milk is gay and you're a pastor? [Variety]
• Leonardo DiCaprio, Lukas Haas, Tobey Maguire and Kevin Dillon went on a bike ride around New York's East Village Friday. An eyewitness says it was "really uncool." [UPI]
• Speaking of cycling, Matt Damon was among 35,000 riders attempting a 68 mile bike trek in South Africa on Sunday. [Daily Express]
• Dancing With The Stars producers are downplaying the fact that they lost two contestants — Jewel and Nancy O'Dell — and hyping the announcement of their replacements, whose identities will be revealed tonight. Except don't we know that one is Holly Madison? [UPI]
• So maybe you knew that Jodi Lyn O'Keefe — of She's All That, Prison Break, and various TV shows — has been dating John Cusack. Bet you didn't know that she's broke up with him because he won't marry her? [Star]
• You may have noticed this, but Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is trying to reposition himself. He's no longer just a former wrestler but into comedies and films for children. "Audiences, particularly kids, seem to love discovering that a guy this big and this good looking is actually very sweet and very funny," says his Race To Witch Mountain director. [NY Times]
• Macy Gray will appear as a guest performer/lecturer on the first day of a UCLA Extension course on the music business this spring. The course is run by Doors manager Jeffrey Jampolm who says: "Macy Gray is getting on the cutting edge of where music is going. She just made a new record that she financed herself. She owns it, and she's going to market it independently." [LA Times]
• Russell Brand is now in the music biz, managing a little-known singer-songwriter named Simon Kaye, who performs under the name Little Wonder. Apparently there's a record label bidding war to sign this guy, so prepare yourself. (Video of his latest song at the link.) [The Sun]
• There's a new DA and a new task force on the JonBenét Ramsey case, more than 12 years later. [People]
• Are Elizabeth Hurley and husband Arun Nayar in a fast car to splitsville? [Hindustan Times]
• Hurley's rep does not deny rumors of a separation. [Telgraph]
• Here's a profile on Joan Allen, who stars in a Broadway play called Impressionism. [NY Times]
• Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss has been cast in a romcom called Did You Hear About The Morgans?; Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker are already attached. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Interesting: There's going to be a remake of the dark comedy Death At A Funeral, with Tracy Morgan, Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock. No word on whether Peter Dinklage will be in this version! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Julia Roberts will produce Jesus Henry Christ, a comedy about a boy conceived in a petri-dish and raised by a loving, left-wing feminist. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Joss Stone's CD has been delayed until July. [Daily Mail]
• Rita Wilson, Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be in an untitled Nancy Meyers flick; Her movie What Women Want was the most successful film ever directed by a woman. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Mick Jagger, his girlfriend L'Wren Scott and his son Lucas went to the Getty Center in L.A., and because L'Wren held the nine-year-old kid's hand, this paper claims she "played mom." [Daily Mail]
• Sigh: Pixie Geldof was turned down by the art school she applied to. [Daily Mail]
• Jade Goody and her sons were christened in the hospital where she is being treated for terminal cancer. Jade may only have days to live. [Daily Mail]
• Charles Barkley had a news conference, shook hands and posed for pictures over the weekend. While in jail. [TMZ]
• M.I.A. says she never named her baby Ickitt. So what is the little boy's name? [Daily News]
• Blind item! "Which pop diva just got her second boob job? Bet you didn't know about the first one, either - it's that good, and that out of character." [Gatecrasher]
• "Kate Moss is a vampire who stole my style." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to be [pregnant for a while] because I'm going on tour. I wouldn't want to do that to the poor child." And: "At first I would just stay in and wouldn't go outside [because of the paparazzi], but I would start getting bored with the treadmill and I like to hike outside. I'm not going to let them rule my life. For me it's not about being thin. For me it's about being in shape and being healthy. I have to have stamina onstage or I lose my breath very easily." — Fergie on trying for a baby and getting in shape. [Mirror]
• "I'm still baffled as to why people are so interested in my life. It's so weird – even my dog Norman gets recognized. I'm cutting him off – I've told him, no more Oprah appearances!" — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I have never been a woman who dreams about getting married and having children and having that house in Connecticut. On the contrary, I've always gone with the flow. I enjoy the moment because life goes on while you try to make plans; it's better to make the most of every second. So I just try to live in the present." — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I spent my time cross stitching. But I made it fun by stitching naughty words into handkerchiefs. There were long gaps between filming and I was bored, so it kept me occupied." — Miranda Richardson, on her hobby while filming The Young Victoria. [Daily Mail]
• "We have a similar sense of humor. Our list of priorities in our personal lives are not different. We are both happily married with families and lead a pretty normal, unaffected existence within in this odd universe of show business that we've both chosen to go into." — Julia Roberts on Duplicity costar Clive Owen. [People]
• "It was really funny seeing Baz Luhrmann and Rob [Pattinson] singing a David Bowie song. It was a talky one so they both could sort of talk to each other, and they were riffing back and forth. They were looking longingly into each other's eyes."— Kristen Stewart, who says she hopes there will be a movie based on the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "Look! [Suri] painted these canvas ballet slippers. Isn't she the best? She'll be 3 soon. It's such a good age. She was in musical school this year, but starts real school next year." — Katie Holmes. [Gatecrasher]
• "I actually worked as a kid at the Dallas Times Herald, because my dad had worked with [American journalist] Bill Moyers and then his son was working at the Times Herald and I got a job as a runner one summer. And as a kid it was really exciting to be around in the summertime doing that." — Owen Wilson, on his stint in journalism. [The Star]
• "I'm excited to have a girl. I was saying I didn't know if I could ever love someone more [than my son]. So I'm happy it's a girl. That way, I can love my boy like crazy, and I can love my girl like crazy. They'll feel even." — Pregnant Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford. [Gatecrasher]
• "It's all different from what I was taught in gymnastics. I have to learn to let go and just be emotional." — Shawn Johnson, on Dancing With The Stars. [LA Times]
• "I've had enough of women." — Colin Farrell. [Daily Express]
• "I have no desire [to have children]. I would not be a good mother. I mean, I love being an aunt to my niece and nephew. And I used to want to, like, adopt 10 kids - because I had friends who were adopted, and I thought that was the coolest thing, to be chosen. But again, my job is too selfish." — Kelly Clarkson. [USA Today]
• "I don't think unique creativity can be put into a shape. What leaves a bad taste with trying to create pop stars overnight these days is that they seem to try to identify people according to a size or a shape and say what will work. It's like trying to create artists with a cookie cutter! I don't like how the judging works on The X Factor. Who are the judges to say what's good and what isn't? I hate the cruelty and humiliation of it. And when it's a kid or a teenager I can't bear them to be ripped to shreds. Does it really have to be so cruel?" — Annie Lennox. [Daily Express]

[Los Angeles, December 18. Image via Flynet]

• The latest on Madonna: Her rabbi wants her to mediate towards a swift divorce resolution, using a round-table of Kabbalah leaders instead of going to court. It's either genius or a really bad idea. [Daily Mail]
• El oh el. Headline of the day: "Guy Ritchie Cancels Madonna's Order To Fill Swimming Pool With Kabbalah Water." [Telegraph]
• Jennifer Aniston's rep won't clarify whether Jen's dinner with Gerard Butler was business or personal, saying, "It doesn't matter what it was; it is no one's business." Some of us are curious, okay? [E!]
• After suffering a terrible tragedy, is Jennifer Hudson's career at a crossroads? [AP]
• For some reason, Tiffany "New York" Pollard made a video message for Jennifer Hudson: "God is on your side. I'm praying for you." [The Life Files]
• Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul send thoughts to Jennifer Hudson and family. [People]
• What recession? Beyoncé and Jay-Z plunked down $70,000 on a new dining table. Not a dining room. A table. [E!]

• Things were so "lively" that the cops showed up at Kate Hudson's Halloween party at about 1 a.m. Oh, and did you know that Gerard Butler came dressed as a cowboy? An insider says: "All the girls at the party were lining up to talk to Gerard. He left with two very sexy vampires." [Page Six]
• Jessica Biel: "So many friends are getting married and I'm like No! I'm resisting for now." Sorry, Justin! [Mirror]
• The top-earning dead celebrities include Elvis, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz, Heath Ledger, Albert Einstein, Aaron Spelling, Dr. Seuss and John Lennon. Marilyn Monroe is number 9 and the only lady on the list. [Forbes]
• David Beckham rented a flat in Milan and it's awfully close to the red light district. [The Sun]
• Remember Jessica Simpson's flick, Major Movie Star? It never opened in the US, but it debuted as the number one film in Russia. It's called "maybe one of the worst films ever made," which is saying something. It will have a November premiere in Bulgaria, where it might be box office gold! [Fox411]
• Alert! "There is absolutely no validity to the rumor that The Bonnie Hunt Show is in trouble or about to be canceled." You may now return to your regularly scheduled ennui. [E!]
• Katy Perry posed with a knife and some anti-knife group freaked out, so now she has posed with a spoon. [Mirror]
• Last week, Gossip Girl creator Cecily von Ziegesar said that she doesn't like the character of Vanessa in the TV show. Now, Jessica Szohr, who plays Vanessa, says: "I think Vanessa’s much softer than she is in the books. She steps up to [the girls] on the Upper East Side, but she’s too soft in certain situations. But who knows what’s to come in the next 10 episodes? I feel like she keeps getting left by these guys, and she’s always there to help take care of everyone, which is really sweet of her. But I think she needs to step up and be like, 'Screw all you guys. I’m going to Brooklyn and finding a hot guy!'" [MTV]
• Will Trista and Ryan return to reality TV? Do you care? [People]
• Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are on vacation in Hawaii and you are not. See pictures of the teen dreams strolling on the beach. [NY Post]
• Blind item! "It seems the star of a certain hit series has, to quote my mole, 'a lot of rules' about the conditions under which he will work. None of his castmates like this — it's diva antics, of course — but only the show's female lead has the clout to say she won't put up with it. As a result, the two have gone from acting in few scenes together to acting in none whatsoever. (In fact, despite a story arc that would have made it nearly impossible for their characters to logically avoid one another, so far this season, they haven't crossed paths once.) So, guesses as to the identities of the Mr. Big whose Method is so maddening and the one costar with the stones to rock the boat? I'll give you one more hint, then you're on your own: The show has, I hear, 'already lost one actress' at least in part due to conflicts over Mr. Man and his master thespian baggage. Your turn. Who are the players in this frosty backstage drama?" [EW]
• Tracy Morgan says his character Biscuit is "just me, as a child, with a chip on my shoulder, because my dad wasn't around..." [NY Times]
• Oh, yuck: Remember how Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars went to the hospital with stomach pains? It's her appendix, and that sucker's gotta come out. [AP]
• By the by, Kim Kardashian thinks Brooke Burke will win DWTS. [People]
• Karina Smirnoff from DWTS wants Cloris Leachman to win. "She's got so much to offer, and she's so witty and charismatic," Karina says. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Cloris Leachman responds to those who find her antics annoying: "If I've made people mad, I'm sorry. All my life, I've been a cut-up. I'm just having fun." [MSNBC]
• LL Cool J was the opening act on Janet Jackson's tour, but he quit. She had to reschedule dates because her migraine-associated vertigo forced her to cancel some shows; he had scheduling conflicts. Now he needs an around the way girl. [AP]
• The crappy financial climate is a bad time to market a film where a pretty white lady loves to buy things. Will people go see Confessions Of A Shopaholic? [Jossip]
• Elle Macpherson denies that she is romantically involved with former drug trafficker Brian Burgess. [Telegraph]
• Natalie Portman will star in Love and Other Impossible Pursuits, a Don Roos-directed adaptation of an Ayelet Waldman novel. [Variety]
• Paris Hilton: Maybe going to space on the Virgin Enterprise Rocket. She says: "What if I don't come back? With the whole light-years thing, what if I come back 10,000 years later, and everyone I know is dead? I'll be like, 'Great. Now I have to start all over.'" [Perez Hilton]
• El Debarge is in jail, feeling the beat of the rhythm of the night. [StereoHyped]
• Jamie Oliver has landed a deal to design kitchens, gardens and restaurants on a multi-million dollar development in Dubai. [Mirror]
• News that you can't use: The Jonas Brothers may be directed by the Farrelly brothers in a film called Walter The Farting Dog, based on the book. [Ain't It Cool News]
• The trial against Keanu Reeves — a photographer who fell while shooting him claims the car knocked him down — has begun. [USA Today]
• Will Russell Brand get fired by the BBC for making prank calls? [Telegraph]
• Sophia Bush is dating James Lafferty. That's her costar from One Tree Hill. As you may know, her ex-husband, Chad Michael Murray, is also her co-star on One Tree Hill. These people have a small, small world. [Just Jared]
• Prepare yourself: Michael Jackson will go on a 30-city tour in 2009. [Perez Hilton]
• Natalie Cole has been struggling with hepatitis C; this headline reads, "Dialysis in the day, concerts at night." [LA Times]
• Annabeth Gish of Showtime's Brotherhood has a new baby boy, Enzo. [People]
• Bob Geldof has been awarded an honorary doctorate for his contribution to music and humanitarian causes. [BBC News]
• Led Zeppelin on the road! Oh, without Robert Plant. [BBC News]
• Al Gore and B.B. King: Being honored by the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis. [UPI]
• "Often I think people haven't experienced the high pressure of a filming schedule. It isn't all celebration and glamour and glitz. The public see all the red carpets and the gossip columns and the fashion side of things. But actually it's very, very, very long hours, quite high risk and expensive, and everyone has to commit. So it's always a huge achievement when anyone makes it look easy making a film." — Ralph Fiennes. [Telegraph]
• "It's funny how things can change. My wife has brought a balance to my life that I could never have described to anyone. She’s the giant beam that I walk across and holds me up. But she’s also my safety net in case I fall. Being married has changed my life more than I could have imagined." — Pete Wentz. [The Sun]
• "Honestly, I'm a wreck, every time I see a camera, I'm a wreck. I don't tend to react as though 'I have to do this, it's my job.' I am reacting as a woman who is five-foot-one whose space is being invaded by a bunch of men whose aggression I can literally feel. In L.A. it is even worse because they are running red lights behind you, and I worry all the time about something terrible happening, someone getting hurt because of me, how I could ever possibly live with that. I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids in the back seat and have to go through this and pretend for their sake that you are not scared." — Ashley Olsen. [Daily Express]

[Outside the Kabbalah center, New York, October 1. Image via Splash.]

• The new Marc Jacobs ads featuring Victoria Beckham have finally been made public. And they're awesome. Also: We seem to remember a certain Glamour magazine beauty editor who took to doing this with a Gucci bag. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Madonna swears that the Fox News reports aren't true and that she didn't screw Gucci over and trick them into hosting a fundraiser for the Kabbalah Centre of Los Angeles. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Giles Mendel's thoughts on Project Runway after serving as a guest judge on Wednesday night's episode: "OK...The authority of a TV show might not be good enough at the end to make a successful fashion house. That's a different ball game." Whoah — he didn't just question The Greatest Show on Earth, did he? [WWD, 5th item]

• Donna Karan on her experiences as a fashion student at Parsons: "Failed typing, failed draping, you know. I had a little ADD problem. Sewing? Oh, forget it. I burnt my dress. They told me I would never make it as a fashion designer at all." Oh, kooky Auntie Donna! It all worked out now, didn't it! [Page Six]
• Abercrombie & Fitch is launching a lingerie brand under a separate label, Gilly Hitch, and separate stand-alone stores. Given as A&F catalogs are supposed to be selling clothes and in reality, show models in their underwear, we can only assume that Gilly Hitch catalogs will feature models fucking each other naked. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Is it wrong that we're pulling for the success of the Joan Rivers makeup line? [BellaSugar]
• (Faux) rocker Bryan Adams is everywhere nowadays: He shot Tia Cibani's Ports 1961 presentation at the Chateau Marmont on Wednesday. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Betsey Johnson is starting up a separate line of outerwear. Lots of tulle and a corset on a raincoat, please.
• Narcisco Rodriguez's line is turning 10, and to celebrate ,the designer is doing a limited edition collection featuring 20 pieces celebrating the best of the line's history. [Chic Report]
• Fashion designer Bella Freud will be showing her upcoming collection via a short film. We're sure that great grandpappy Sigmund would have made some joke about screen memory. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Sign that Daria Werbowy is actually a good model: Even looks good in ad campaign for Pepe Jeans! [Vogue UK]
• Phillip Lim: now designing kiddie clothes. Which, to our dismay, makes us like Phillip Lim a tiny bit less. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Missoni Spring 2008 ads: Scary. [Sassybella]
• Katherine Hamnett's "Clean Up Or Die" bags: Sure to be the next "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" bags. Sadly. [Vogue UK]
• Though it declared bankruptcy in 1999, Fruit of the Loom's insurance company had to cough up $42.5 million after the company got slammed with charges from the Environmental Protection Agency in regards to four of its factories. [UPI]
• Fruit of the Loom may be bankrupt, but the luxury underwear market's never been bigger! [Telegraph]
• St. Ives, they of the dorm-fave Apricot Scrub, has decided that maybe it needs to expand its brand and reach the oldies. Hence it's new line for "aging" women, named "Elements". Aging = women age 29 and up. Ouch. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Armani: now doing a skincare line for men! We wonder if the brand will find a way to tie the face of David Beckham into this one, too. [WWD, sub req'd]
• It saddens our hearts that there's already a waiting list for the Burberry Warrior Bag. Also, if you don't feel like shelling out $23,000 for it in it's croc skin glory, you can get a plain leather one for a mere $3,150. [WWD, 3rd item]