OK, I have a locksmith story. And maybe I'm just as much of an ass as Lindsay Lohan, you all tell me:
I realized as I was leaving work that I had left my keys at home, so I grabbed a locksmith's number from the yellow pages before I left. Sure enough, when I got home the door was locked. So, I called the number. The guy picks up on the first ring and says "yeah, I'm working on another job right now, I'll be there in about 45 minutes or so." So, I sit on the front step to wait for him, and lean against the front door and it falls open. The knob was locked, but hadn't fully latched. So, I call the guy back immediately. He doesn't answer, so I leave a message saying "Hey, I don't need you after all, but thanks." I call him 3 more times over the next hour or so, trying to get in touch with him, and leaving a message every time. Finally, he shows up at my door about an hour and a half after I'd called. I meet him outside and say "Hey, didn't you get my messages? I don't need a key made after all." He looks at his phone and says "Yep, looks like I missed your calls. But, I still drove out here, so that will be $40." And I was like, "But, but, but... I called you THREE TIMES to tell you not to! And you didn't even make me a key!" And he says "Tough shit, I didn't get your calls and now I'm here and you have to pay." And starts getting really close to me and being all threatening. So, of course I got my checkbook out and paid him the 40 bucks just to get him away from me, then went in the house and had a cry. I felt like it was a little scam of his to not answer calls when it is the same number that he just received a call from, because that would probably be people calling to cancel orders, and if he just shows up anyway he can bully them out of $40 without doing any actual work. He definitely answered quick enough the first time I called.
I call b.s. on blaming The Reader's script for the nudity. There was none of speak of in the book. And, Kate could easily have demanded that the nudity be reduced or eliminated, given that she replaced Nicole Kidman on a moment's notice.
@brendastarlet is on it: While I'll admit that I don't think Schlink wrote "Oh, and she was naked," (as he's a far better writer than that) I think you're wrong.
@brendastarlet is on it: I don't think she was blaming as such. I think she was saying that she made the choice to do nudity for The Reader because it was part of the story and not just gratuitous sexy stuff, but also gently saying that it's not something that she wants to become known for. (I'm kind of disappointed with the, "Oh, I'm 34 so I need to put it away now" bullshit. Whatever, man.
(Also there was nudity in the book: Michael and Hanna were having sex all the time, and I'm pretty sure they weren't doing it with their clothes on; and there was their first encounter where Schlink specifically points out that Hanna came up behind Michael after his bath and she was naked.)
Wait, what happens if you call a locksmith and you have no cash on you? What then? They let you back into your place and write you a bill or something?
Either way, isn't it kind of assy to hand them a few bucks and be like "HA HA THIS IS ENOUGH FOR YOU LOL GET LOST"?
Kate Winslet, you can be nude in movies till you're 90. Um, you too, Gael Garcia Bernal. Wait, that wasn't what you were saying in that quote? About actors wearing very little and taking every part as an act of exhibitionismfaith?
@MockMyWorld: That would have been much more effective if my experiment in HTML strikethrough code had worked.
All you youngsters on this site...did you know that long, long ago, in a commenting golden age far away, we had this thing called a preview button? It let you SEE your mistakes before you actually made them. It helped you avoid that writing-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, doing-the-crossword-in-pen feeling.
It's gone, my children. Gone like the Victrola and the 8-track. Gone like cheap oil and McMansions and Bernie Madoff's days of freedom. Gone forever!!!
@laetitiae: Yeah, and I generally love her, but I have to say that reading a quote from her saying "Obviously you can't play a romantic character if she's not really pretty" makes me damn sad.
@meritxell: Seriously, that shit about rich people stiffing some working man/woman (ie., the stream of entitled nontippers) really sets off my class rage. Guess what douchedragons, I manage to tip well on top of not having millions of dollars with which to do so. Then again, I don't blow it on coke.
@chatterboxwriting: I was trying to think what it would be like to have someone "harass and cajole" you: "Come on, let me kick your ass, it's such a cute little ass, I'll only kick it a little bit, you know you want me to..."
Wow. It takes a really REALLY shitty person to stiff a hardworking worker, who makes significantly less money than you, out of $19. God, for some reason that story just makes my skin crawl.
@RainbowBrite: I understand she isn't working very much, and probably blew a lot of her money on drugs and rehab. But ya know what expenses you cut back on? Um, $2500 jeans. Not a $40 bill for a locksmith! I absolutely hate this story. It's kind of funny, none of her other shit really bugged me too much, but what kind of person doesn't understand the concept of calling someone to come do work for you?
Quincy Jones. He said, "I just can't take it anymore, I've lost so many friends over the past years. Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, Michelangelo Antonioni. I just don't want to be standing there looking at some casket.
This is one of the most amusing & expert examples of name-dropping that I have ever seen.
@kookla: See, brendastarlet is on the right track by spreading her references - Quincy wisely chose Ray Charles to highlight that he is down with the greats of R&B but also made sure to convey his connections to Hollywood royalty and to highbrow European white people who make incomprehensible movies about ennui. Instead of sticking with all contemporary actors, you should throw in a curveball - maybe a major athlete or a famous political prisoner.
I recently saw a trailer for Julie & Julia, and though I really don't like going to the theatre (maybe make it once every 18 months or so), it looked like a load of fun. I hope it's just as lovely and light and sweet as the trailer makes it seem.
That's fine for you to say, Sir Paul, but I think we all know we need to see what you're wearing if we are going to make an accurate appraisal of your emotional state.
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I realized as I was leaving work that I had left my keys at home, so I grabbed a locksmith's number from the yellow pages before I left. Sure enough, when I got home the door was locked. So, I called the number. The guy picks up on the first ring and says "yeah, I'm working on another job right now, I'll be there in about 45 minutes or so." So, I sit on the front step to wait for him, and lean against the front door and it falls open. The knob was locked, but hadn't fully latched. So, I call the guy back immediately. He doesn't answer, so I leave a message saying "Hey, I don't need you after all, but thanks." I call him 3 more times over the next hour or so, trying to get in touch with him, and leaving a message every time. Finally, he shows up at my door about an hour and a half after I'd called. I meet him outside and say "Hey, didn't you get my messages? I don't need a key made after all." He looks at his phone and says "Yep, looks like I missed your calls. But, I still drove out here, so that will be $40." And I was like, "But, but, but... I called you THREE TIMES to tell you not to! And you didn't even make me a key!" And he says "Tough shit, I didn't get your calls and now I'm here and you have to pay." And starts getting really close to me and being all threatening. So, of course I got my checkbook out and paid him the 40 bucks just to get him away from me, then went in the house and had a cry. I felt like it was a little scam of his to not answer calls when it is the same number that he just received a call from, because that would probably be people calling to cancel orders, and if he just shows up anyway he can bully them out of $40 without doing any actual work. He definitely answered quick enough the first time I called.
Was I an asshole? Or was he?
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(Also there was nudity in the book: Michael and Hanna were having sex all the time, and I'm pretty sure they weren't doing it with their clothes on; and there was their first encounter where Schlink specifically points out that Hanna came up behind Michael after his bath and she was naked.)
p.s. This new edit function is quite awesome.
07/08/09
Either way, isn't it kind of assy to hand them a few bucks and be like "HA HA THIS IS ENOUGH FOR YOU LOL GET LOST"?
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I respect that, so, great!
07/08/09
All you youngsters on this site...did you know that long, long ago, in a commenting golden age far away, we had this thing called a preview button? It let you SEE your mistakes before you actually made them. It helped you avoid that writing-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, doing-the-crossword-in-pen feeling.
It's gone, my children. Gone like the Victrola and the 8-track. Gone like cheap oil and McMansions and Bernie Madoff's days of freedom. Gone forever!!!
*shakes cane at the dying sunset*
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@apocalypse-nowish: Yeah, I'm ok w/ him writing it, but don't think he's a good fit to star.
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It's times like this I'm really glad my mother raised me to believe in common fucking decency.
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This is one of the most amusing & expert examples of name-dropping that I have ever seen.
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Oh wait, never mind, he has a penis. Carry on.