OK, I am pitching a TV show right now.
"I'm Spencer's Sperm Cell's Get Me Out of Him!"
We get together the whole cast--Janice, Mrs. Blago, that Baldwin brother that noone likes, and the rest, and let them perform challenges to earn the right to snip Spencer with the tool of his choice.
I have $50 on Spencer's sister to win. She had to deal with him for years, and only she can fully understand the monsters he can sire. #thehillsvasectomy
Argh! I really want to be sterilized. I am finally, after three years, going to get an appointment to try to talk to a surgeon. I've jumped through all the requisite hoops, I know my shit inside and out, and I know what I'm doing.
This assclown can just waltz in and try to secure an appointment short of a therapist, a primary care doctor, and the male equivalent of a gynecologist?
FUCK YOU SPENCER.
My choices are questioned every goddamn step of the way, with people who think their special insight will change my mind.
"But what if you want kids later?" (usually followed with some smug truism about children)
OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. I wanted to be sterilized and NEVER ONCE thought of what if I'm wrong! Thanks, stranger in the waiting room! I'm sure you know much more about my life and circumstances than I do!
That is just so frustrating. I'm having all sorts of problems and he isn't, so I'm all angry about it. :( How can you go in to demand a medical procedure without knowing what the hell it is? It's permanent, doucheface, and yes, it involves cutting and cauterizing! What the hell did you think it was doing? #thehillsvasectomy
@boxspelunker: Well see, what you should have done was just call your OB/GYN in advance and ask for permission to come in with the film crew for your MTV reality show. Ask them to free up some time in the office so that your light crew can light the place, make sure no one else will be in the lobby, and make sure it's ok if you just fax over some release forms for anyone you may encounter while you're there. And there you have it! Wham, bam, tubal ligation, ma'am! #thehillsvasectomy
@boxspelunker: Oh, and I should mention, they will probably process your request even more quickly if you give the doctor the opportunity to pimp a big-pharma sponsored product, such as Mirena(TM) IUDs or Essure(TM) tubal implants. #thehillsvasectomy
@BeckyIva: Aha! Why didn't I think of that? CLEARLY, I am barking up the wrong tree! Now, to get a reality show...
Oh yeah, I've had lots of suggestions for the Essure implants, but I am just NOT OKAY with putting shit inside my body and leaving it there - another one of the reasons I don't want an IUD. It will be cut-and-cauterize or nothing, because little metal coils freak me the fuck out, and it's my body, so I will decide if I want shit floating about in there! :D #thehillsvasectomy
1) I would never date a guy who called me "kiddo"
2) Who wears a leather jacket with no shirt underneath? At least put on v-neck under that shit!!!
3) I could probably just watch the "next time on" and be satisfied
If I believed in hell, I think that it would be a lot like that club that they went to. Except you can never leave. You have to dance, dance, dance! with douchebags forever and witness assholes get in arguments with assholes they used to date. #thehillsvasectomy
Jayde scares the bejesus out of me because she reminds me of one of my classmates from high school. Said girl was prone to flying off the handle, starting fights and actually beat the crap out of her older brother's girlfriend on one occasion. A few years later, it was made public that she had a fairly serious cocaine habit. #thehillsvasectomy
This show is nothing short of infuriating. Why, then, do I watch it every week? Um. I don't know. Anyway! JustinBobby was particularly maddening last night. That one little strand of hair hanging just so over his forehead, the fact that he has the worlds weakest game EVER, the fact that he keeps messing with Audrina*...I wanted to slap him so bad. Even moreso than usual.
*I think he does it just to entertain himself. And since Audrina doesn't come across as very...um..emotionally intelligent...makes it all the more cruel. I feel bad for her, even though I also want to yell at her for being a dummy and still taking his calls and falling for his carefully nonchalant bs.
And for the record, I find Charlie hilarious. Not sure why but I think he's a perfect foil for our good buddy "Spender". #thehillsvasectomy
@Aesop's Foibles. YES.: Yeah, I don't feel so bad for Audrina. Maybe the first 6,000 times he did this to her, but after the 6,001st time, not so much. #thehillsvasectomy
I love how the Hills managed to shut down a urologist's office - nobody in the waiting room, probably had to take plenty of time to get that scene in with the doctor - and didn't even bother faking like you have to do anything more for a doctor than say hey I'm here and hey I'm leaving now. What self-respecting physician (and receptionist) puts up with that bullshit? Just to be on the Hills? #thehillsvasectomy
JustinBobby does this thing where he says something really amazing and intense to you and you're hooked, then he says something awful and you're devastated. Then he does it again. And again. It turns into like a drug addiction. No, I swear I'm not speaking from experience. #thehillspuppies
JustinBobby is the bro-dude douchebag king. He has woman tripping over each other to get at him, and somehow he keeps them fighting and mad at each other instead of him. What is it about JustinBobby?! WHAT IS IT?! #thehillspuppies
@RiloKilo: That was my first thought too. I watched this last night and there are actually 2 puppies. Here's hoping that Heidi might be a good dog owner? I mean, everyone's good at something and I haven't seen her talent yet.
Edited by pantsless economist...access RESTORED at 11/04/09 11:26 AM
pantsless economist...access RESTORED was starred
pantsless economist...access RESTORED was unstarred
11/11/09
"I'm Spencer's Sperm Cell's Get Me Out of Him!"
We get together the whole cast--Janice, Mrs. Blago, that Baldwin brother that noone likes, and the rest, and let them perform challenges to earn the right to snip Spencer with the tool of his choice.
I have $50 on Spencer's sister to win. She had to deal with him for years, and only she can fully understand the monsters he can sire. #thehillsvasectomy
11/11/09
This assclown can just waltz in and try to secure an appointment short of a therapist, a primary care doctor, and the male equivalent of a gynecologist?
FUCK YOU SPENCER.
My choices are questioned every goddamn step of the way, with people who think their special insight will change my mind.
"But what if you want kids later?" (usually followed with some smug truism about children)
OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. I wanted to be sterilized and NEVER ONCE thought of what if I'm wrong! Thanks, stranger in the waiting room! I'm sure you know much more about my life and circumstances than I do!
That is just so frustrating. I'm having all sorts of problems and he isn't, so I'm all angry about it. :( How can you go in to demand a medical procedure without knowing what the hell it is? It's permanent, doucheface, and yes, it involves cutting and cauterizing! What the hell did you think it was doing? #thehillsvasectomy
11/11/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
Oh yeah, I've had lots of suggestions for the Essure implants, but I am just NOT OKAY with putting shit inside my body and leaving it there - another one of the reasons I don't want an IUD. It will be cut-and-cauterize or nothing, because little metal coils freak me the fuck out, and it's my body, so I will decide if I want shit floating about in there! :D #thehillsvasectomy
11/11/09
2) Who wears a leather jacket with no shirt underneath? At least put on v-neck under that shit!!!
3) I could probably just watch the "next time on" and be satisfied
11/11/09
Justin Bobby is the poor man's Uncle Jesse.
If I believed in hell, I think that it would be a lot like that club that they went to. Except you can never leave. You have to dance, dance, dance! with douchebags forever and witness assholes get in arguments with assholes they used to date. #thehillsvasectomy
11/11/09
Dang it, JustinBobby. #thehillsvasectomy
11/11/09
11/11/09
*I think he does it just to entertain himself. And since Audrina doesn't come across as very...um..emotionally intelligent...makes it all the more cruel. I feel bad for her, even though I also want to yell at her for being a dummy and still taking his calls and falling for his carefully nonchalant bs.
And for the record, I find Charlie hilarious. Not sure why but I think he's a perfect foil for our good buddy "Spender". #thehillsvasectomy
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This is some Darrin on Bewitched style antics! #thehillspuppies
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However, I will say Lo, Lauren, and Kristin look the same as they always have. #thehillspuppies
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