justin bobby - Jezebel

posts about #justinbobby more →
The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
The Hills: Everyone's Pretending They're Over JustinBobby
The Hills: What's The Deal With Brody's Mom?
Heidi May (Or May Not) Have Given Birth; Mickey Defends Use Of Gay Slur
The Hills: Forget Kristin Cavallari — JustinBobby Is "The Bitch"
The Hills Trailer: Rehab, Girl Fights, & A Lot More JustinBobby
JustinBobby: The New "Girl With A Pearl Earring"
Kim Kardashian: "Leave Jessica Alone!"
Tina Fey & Sarah Silverman: Comedy Catfight?

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boxspelunker
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
I'm sure the strippers loved her sitting there saying "I can do that." Not like it's rude or anything.
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hughman
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
i think justin and kristen and brody should go to chippendales and then brody can be the third wheel and kristen can make justin and brody make out so it "evens things up". what? not gonna happen? c'mon, it's all just good fun isn't it, not some dare to do something "icky" just for kicks?
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lady_justice
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
So here I am, watching the first clip totally nodding my head in agreement with Spencer. "YES! It would be horrible if Heidi got pregnant!" "Yes, I too cannot believe they haven't invented a male birth control pill!"

I just saw four horsemen ride past my office window. crap.
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boxspelunker promoted this comment lady_justice was starred lady_justice was unstarred

Aesop's Foibles. YES.
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
As far as I'm concerned, Charlie makes the show. I've said it before but he is really the perfect foil for Spencer. And my interpretation of the stripper incident was that the stripper queefed on Kristen.
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bluewine
11/25/09

@Aesop's Foibles. YES.: My vote also goes for "queef" being the bleeped out word here.
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madeofawesome
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
Seven Signs of the Impending Apocalypse, as foretold by John the Revelator in the book of Revelation.

And behold, in the year 2012, the blonde brought forth a child, and called his name Deimos, because his father feared him. I turned, and lo I perceived the Alaskan hockey mom win the presidential election, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Lo, I regarded a stage, and on that stage of Saturday Night Live there appeared a racially diverse cast, and there was much rejoicing. I beheld in the audience plus sized women clothed in designer finery, and there was much rejoicing. I discerned on the television "The Divorced Dads Club," in the place of "Oprah," and the people clothed themselves in sackcloth and ashes. After this I looked, and saw before me a beast, with yellow eyes and sparkling skin. And lo, the beast gave birth, and a legion of screaming fangirls engulfed the earth. All hope was lost.
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Tchotchke
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
The only thing that surprises me about any of this is that it took a trip to Vegas to get JustinBobby to take a shower.

Also, I think it's awesome, in a sadistic way, that Stacie isn't just "Stacie" but "Stacie-the-bartender." She will be typecast for life. (Because I am assuming that her being in L.A. and being on a reality show triples the odds that she wants an acting career.)
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Edited by Tchotchke at 11/25/09 11:36 AM Tchotchke was starred Tchotchke was unstarred

Sputnik_Sweetheart
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
I think I can understand why Spencer is worried. Almost every kid wants to kill Spencer when (s)he grows up.
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HarpMadness
11/25/09

@Sputnik_Sweetheart: Yeah, it doesn't have much to do with it being HIS kid in particular ...
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Tippi Hedren
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
"Like, oh my god, STB. These strippers are, like, totally getting, like, more attention than us. Let's, like, make out or whatever."
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Penny
11/25/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn
Ooooh I had a dream last week about Spencer and Heidi and now I've forgotten it! I do know that my dad beat up Spencer, though.

I find it hilarious that Kristin went to Vegas to escape guys from LA.

Cut from the same mold, honey.
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Cocotte
11/11/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
My first reaction is, what a dickhead move - your wife wants kids so you sterilize yourself?
Then I remembered that there is a certain societal acceptance for woman forcing children on unwilling/unknowing men - I remember being infuriated when watching "Coupling" (the BBC version), where Susan wants kids and says "we had the baby conversation" - and then it shows Steve asking her what she's doing for contraception and her saying "I've taken care of it." It's a laugh line at his expense that she is trying for a baby without consulting or informing him, and then future episodes are about what a dickhead Steve is for not being instantly joyful and accepting of this complete life change that has been thrust upon him without warning or consent.
That this is all played for laughs underlines the basic acceptance of such behavior as "normal".
So, yeah, a guy getting a vasectomy to avoid that? Not as heinous at second thought, really.
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boxspelunker promoted this comment Edited by Cocotte at 11/11/09 12:07 PM Cocotte was starred Cocotte was unstarred

sybann
11/11/09

@Cocotte: It's not OK in either case. No woman OR man should be forced to have a baby they don't want. We can't want it for ourselves (reproductive freedom) and then deny it to men. Although if they don't step up with contraception I have little sympathy. #thehillsvasectomy
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UnicornZiva
11/11/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
Umm...what exactly did he think a vasectomy was? He seemed really surprised that they had to get a scrotum involved. And that there were knives. And that it was permanent.

So...basically everything. #thehillsvasectomy
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jigglyball promoted this comment UnicornZiva was starred UnicornZiva was unstarred

jigglyball
11/11/09

@UnicornZiva: Dr. Cox taught me that it's reversable. Or is that only in the Scrubs universe? #thehillsvasectomy
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nellicat
11/11/09

@jigglyball: OT, but good god in heaven Cox is sexy. #thehillsvasectomy
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Dangling Modifier
11/11/09

@jigglyball: And The Office. "Snip, snap, snip, snap, snip, snap! You have no idea the toll three vasectomies takes on a man!" #thehillsvasectomy
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jigglyball promoted this comment Dangling Modifier was starred

jigglyball
11/11/09

@Dangling Modifier: Clearly, ol' Spence has been remiss in watching quality, prime-time television during the last 4-7 years. #thehillsvasectomy
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midwesternmom
11/11/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
OK, I am pitching a TV show right now.
"I'm Spencer's Sperm Cell's Get Me Out of Him!"
We get together the whole cast--Janice, Mrs. Blago, that Baldwin brother that noone likes, and the rest, and let them perform challenges to earn the right to snip Spencer with the tool of his choice.
I have $50 on Spencer's sister to win. She had to deal with him for years, and only she can fully understand the monsters he can sire. #thehillsvasectomy
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lavenderstain
11/11/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
If all it took for my boyfriend to get a visectomy (and thus release me of the monthly costs of birth control) was to assert that I want children, and am willing to mess wt said birth control, to have one...well, then I would.

I'd even do the whole, "aww gOSh, imagine the kids we'd have"...bit. #thehillsvasectomy
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11) promoted this comment lavenderstain was starred lavenderstain was unstarred

GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
11/11/09

@lavenderstain: I think what you're trying to say is that Heidi is brilliant and we can actually learn from her. #thehillsvasectomy
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boxspelunker
11/11/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
Argh! I really want to be sterilized. I am finally, after three years, going to get an appointment to try to talk to a surgeon. I've jumped through all the requisite hoops, I know my shit inside and out, and I know what I'm doing.

This assclown can just waltz in and try to secure an appointment short of a therapist, a primary care doctor, and the male equivalent of a gynecologist?

FUCK YOU SPENCER.

My choices are questioned every goddamn step of the way, with people who think their special insight will change my mind.

"But what if you want kids later?" (usually followed with some smug truism about children)

OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. I wanted to be sterilized and NEVER ONCE thought of what if I'm wrong! Thanks, stranger in the waiting room! I'm sure you know much more about my life and circumstances than I do!

That is just so frustrating. I'm having all sorts of problems and he isn't, so I'm all angry about it. :( How can you go in to demand a medical procedure without knowing what the hell it is? It's permanent, doucheface, and yes, it involves cutting and cauterizing! What the hell did you think it was doing? #thehillsvasectomy
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BeckyIva
11/11/09

@boxspelunker: Well see, what you should have done was just call your OB/GYN in advance and ask for permission to come in with the film crew for your MTV reality show. Ask them to free up some time in the office so that your light crew can light the place, make sure no one else will be in the lobby, and make sure it's ok if you just fax over some release forms for anyone you may encounter while you're there. And there you have it! Wham, bam, tubal ligation, ma'am! #thehillsvasectomy
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boxspelunker promoted this comment BeckyIva was starred BeckyIva was unstarred

BeckyIva
11/11/09

@boxspelunker: Oh, and I should mention, they will probably process your request even more quickly if you give the doctor the opportunity to pimp a big-pharma sponsored product, such as Mirena(TM) IUDs or Essure(TM) tubal implants. #thehillsvasectomy
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boxspelunker promoted this comment BeckyIva was starred BeckyIva was unstarred

boxspelunker
11/11/09

@BeckyIva: Aha! Why didn't I think of that? CLEARLY, I am barking up the wrong tree! Now, to get a reality show...

Oh yeah, I've had lots of suggestions for the Essure implants, but I am just NOT OKAY with putting shit inside my body and leaving it there - another one of the reasons I don't want an IUD. It will be cut-and-cauterize or nothing, because little metal coils freak me the fuck out, and it's my body, so I will decide if I want shit floating about in there! :D #thehillsvasectomy
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PrincessOfPower
11/11/09

In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
holy shmoley, don't these people ever get sick of the club scene??! they've been going to these places for 10 years! #thehillsvasectomy
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thecameralovesyou promoted this comment PrincessOfPower was starred PrincessOfPower was unstarred

thecameralovesyou
11/11/09

@PrincessOfPower: I was thinking the same thing! Even just watching them doing shots with the loud bass in the background made me dry heave. #thehillsvasectomy
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