Jezebel: just like us

When Stars Themselves Get Starstruck

Margaret — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 15:30:00 EST

Celebrities are used to being gawked at, but yesterday, following the inaugural celebration "We Are One" at the Lincoln Memorial, performers got starry-eyed themselves when meeting the president-elect, as seen in the gallery below.

Jenna Bush Hates Death Penalty, Eating Meat, Dad's Presidency

Moe — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 19:45:51 EDT

Jenna Bush is the subject of a really long slobbering Texas Monthly cover story next month that I read in the latest development in my months-long struggle with the notion that she could actually be a decent person who feels really bad about her dad fucking up the country/various others/etc. While the author is not exactly restrained in his campaign to prove to us how great she is, there are redeeming moments, starting with the reminder of the dramatic dinner table argument she had with her father over the execution Karla Faye Tucker. Turns out she is pro-life when it comes to the living humans! Also ateshay her athersfay's oliciespay...

She totally cares about black people.
There is a scene in which teaches her minority charter school students in Washington DC about apartheid and shit so that maybe one day when they grow up they will vote for people who will one day give the minorities of Washington DC the right to vote and assorted other welfare state like benefits.
She campaigned for her father in 2004 but mostly to make him look bad in front of reporters.
Subtext: maybe all that rampant lawbreaking stuff was "acting out" on behalf of the widespread suspension of civil liberties etc.? A thought!
Right around the she got called out for being "all noblesse with none of the oblige" out popped the oblige.
Also! She doesn't eat meat that isn't fish. Also: a big deal is made over how none of the small brown children she befriends really know who her dad is, and she asks them not to Google her which is probably not a very effective way of retaining her anonymity, and the whole thing is a little Tori Spelling auditioning for 90210, and maybe one day Jenna will also be disowned and broke or whatever, which would be interesting. She can't read the paper and starts crying talking about Bush and yeah, so it sort of seems like she's trying to do something about the family karma deficit. Maybe she had an affair with the pool boy?
Her fiance is a Republican but it's okay because he likes Dave Chappelle
And her dad wants them to elope which is about the only correct opinion he ever had.

Girl Gone Mild [Texas Monthly]

Please Do Not Cough On Oprah; She Pays Her Doctor In Cash

Moe — Fri, 25 May 2007 12:45:18 EDT

According to this blog, for an upcoming episode Oprah invited Michael Moore come talk about Sicko, his new documentary on the US health care system, a movie we assume has something to do with how the health care industry has become more like fashion, with companies creating new diseases and ailments (acid reflux) so they can peddle us new pills and procedures, sorta the way we never knew we needed foundation primer until like two years ago. But! Whereas in fashion, where celebrities get all their shit for free, it turns out Oprah actually pays for all her health care costs in cash!

Furthermore, Oprah never uses her medical insurance anymore because once after getting blood tests done she later saw a screaming headline in a rag, she said, with the headline, "Oprah tests negative for AIDS"

We can so relate! Except, um, when we tested negative for AIDS we kinda felt like taking out an ad to announce it! Does that mean we are bigger oversharers than Oprah? After the jump, other stuff from the Michael Moore/Oprah taping that was TOO HOT FOR TV.

She checks into hotels under the alias "Billie Jo McAllister." But probably not anymore!
She's going to Africa. And so, apparently, are lots of other celebrities! So many that Vanity Fair has found twenty of them for one of those huge massive celebrity clusterfuck covers on which they always save all the black people for inside the gatefold!
Some guy's sister thought the Michael Moore movie — It was screened for guests on the show! With complimentary popcorn! — was really good, and she's totally a nurse from North Carolina whose sister is a pharmaceutical sales rep so she was bound to take issues with it. Random, we know! But we were a little weirded out when we heard that Michael Moore was making the point that health care in Cuba is better than here. Isn't there a country in the European Union that could sort of better illustrate that point? Like maybe every single one? Anyway, what we're saying is that it's good to know Southerners are feeling it, you know? Like maybe the terrorists HAVEN'T won?
No gum allowedin Oprah's studio, and if you are in Oprah's studio audience and you need to cough, you are supposed to alert an usher who will DISPENSE A COUGH DROP. Uh, yeah, like, Virgo much, Oprah?

Oprah Pays Cash For All Her Medical Procedures [Confessions of a Paparazzi]