Jessica Alba? To star in a revival of David Mamet's play Speed the Plow? Um, the producers do know that Alba can't exactly act, don't they? Wait, what's that? She would be playing the role played by Madonna in the 1988 production of the play? Ohhhhhhhh ok! Now we get it! The role is supposed to go to someone who can't…

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Teen Vogue: Even more shallow than we suspected! Per our friends at WWD's "Memo Pad" column, the magazine's editors ousted their long-time receptionist for a more, uh, "photogenic" intern when it came time to shoot scenes for The Hills. [WWD]