Well there's also palm oil in Kashi breakfast bars and Whole Foods water crackers. Not to mention cosmetics like Burt's Bees soap and Clairol Herbal Essences Rainforest Flowers. So like, when you think you're buying some kind of natural, earthy hair stuff, you're actually killing the earth?

I went on a treasure hunt around my apartment to see if I had any killer products containing palm oil. No dice, maybe because my fridge is empty. And my conditioner is full of chemicals with no "natural" ingredients. Yay! Also, apparently Lever 2000 soap is palm-oil free. But then I started thinking: I eat meat and wear leather and sometimes I let people at the deli give me a plastic bag. I don't know what the solution is but I already know I'm part of the problem. But if Glenn Hurowitz, an environmental journalist, didn't realize his (wife's) conditioner had palm oil, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Clean Hair Or Clean Air? [LA Times]

Earlier: Scout's Honor
Eat It

So the chips are very yellow, with yellow powder and slightly green crystals. (Weird, I know!)

They smell like feet, but then again, so do Fritos. (My dog's paws always smell like Fritos!) As far as the taste goes, they're very sweet — the Doritos, not my dog's paws — with a vinegar/tangy kick. They're not bad, but it's not a flavor I would actually buy because I craved it. Here are the list of ingredients:

Whole corn, vegetable oil, corn, soybean, sunflower oil, sugar, salt, corn maltodestrin, fructose, dextrose, citric acid, buttermilk powder, monosodium glutamate, corn syrup, natural flavors, sodium diacetrate, modified corn starch, artificial color, and malic acid.

Yeah, no clues in there. WTF are "natural flavors"? Anyway, my official guess is: "Honey Mustard".

This is something I've been doing for a while. At first it started in college, when I was super poor and would buy $.99 bags of party mix for a meal, and then eat all the good stuff, then toss the bag with the pretzels in it. Later on, I'd still be hungry, so I'd resort to fishing the bag out of the trash to eat the pretzels. As the years progressed, I've tried to use my trash can as a form of portion control or something, particularly when drunk. This past Valentine's Day, I got pretty wasted and decided to buy a cheese steak and cheese fries after leaving the bar at 2 AM. I got home, ate half the sandwich, felt disgusted with myself, and then threw it out. (I polished off the fries before I even got out of the cab.) In the morning, I woke up hungover and in the mood for something greasy. I went over to the garbage, found the other half of my sandwich and ate it, despite the fact that an empty packet of wet dog food was right next to it. More recently, I've dined on disposed buffalo wings.

I've talked to some of the other Jezebels about this and I know for a fact that I'm not the only one. It's slightly fucked up, because I know that it's rooted in an impulsive way to try to restrict my intake of the fattening food I love so much, and a compulsive need to actually finish it the next day. (There's also a big element of being just too lazy to drag my ass down and back up the four flights to actually buy new junk food at the deli.) But you know, it's still not one of the stupidest things we've ever done to lose weight.

Earlier:What's The Dumbest Thing You Ever Did To Lose Weight?

In the past I have — well, America has — worried about you. Worried about your eating disorder, that you'd lost that lovin' feeling for Brad, that you were moving the kids around too much, that your public post-partum case was going to fuck up Shiloh, or that your estrangement from your dad betrayed some sort of forgiveness deficiency. It's important, forgiveness, when you're a parent; I mean, I don't have to tell you this. First and foremost, you have to forgive yourself. You're never going to please everyone; there will never be enough time; someone is always going to end up shrieking at the top of her lungs and smearing you with bright orange drool. It's too easy to let shit like this get you down, to let it become an excuse to stop living.

A wise Muppet in a Dave Chappelle skit I watched one time sang a song that still resonates with me when I think about the most important tenet of parenting. I'm pretty sure the song was called "Fuck it." More rich parents, I think we can all agree, need to "fuck it." So your kids move from place to place like the very refugees your bleeding heart yearns to save? Fuck it. So you have a few glasses of wine with those twins? Fuck it. So you dab some cognac on Shiloh's pacifier when she's teething and are too busy touring war-torn camps to breastfeed? FUCK IT. Your kids have it all; money, two parents whose combined sordid pasts will never make them feel like anything is too fucked-up to be normal, and awesome haircuts. Good job. Fuck it.

Related: Chester's Got A Brand New Bag [Slate]

Scientists from Oxford University say that an increase in junk food over the past 50 years has led not to a stress-free existence but a rise in violence among inmates. A pilot study randomly distributed vitamin supplements to prisoners in England and Scotland — along with a placebo. There were a third fewer violent incidents among those given the supplements. Vitamins, shmitamins! I will cut a fool for some chocolate right about now. Maybe the problem is that they need to feed inmates more? How violent can you be if you're full of cake?

Australia Univ. Research Shows Junk Food May Lower Stress Levels [Breitbart]
Prison Study To Investigate Link Between Junk Food And Violence [The Independent]

"Replacing processed foods with whole grains, fruits, and vegetables appears to have a beneficial effect on insulin levels, which could also promote healthy ovulation," says Dr. Chavarro. OK. So if you don't want to get pregnant, you should avoid whole grains and load up on processed food? Awesome. What about that pint of Häagen-Dazs we've been craving? "The Nurses' Health Study found that a daily serving of a full-fat dairy food, such as whole milk, ice cream, or cheddar cheese, increased a woman's pregnancy odds," Dr. Chavarro warns. Shiz. No ice cream or cheese, then. Just doughnuts. Maybe eating for fertility works, but eating for infertility can't possibly be effective: If junk food is birth control, how come Britney Spears has two kids?

The Fertility Diet: Eat Right to Get Pregnant [U.S. News & World Report]

'There's a girl in my office whom we call the Tuck Shop,' says 27-year-old Lou, who works in television. 'She's always offering something to snack on, and keeps huge supplies of crisps and chocolate by her desk. She's really skinny, too.'

What Lou has identified is a 'biscuit pusher': a woman who will buy sickly 'treats' for others and not eat any herself. Perhaps she just wants to be popular with her colleagues. Gabrielle, 35, recalls working with another 'biscuit pusher' - purveyor of office HobNobs, which she never ate herself, almost every afternoon - who was eventually diagnosed as anorexic and ended up in a clinic for eating disorders.

Are Colleagues Bad For Your Figure? [Telegraph]
Earlier: How Our Generation Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Sexual Harassment