[Paris, October 1. Image via Getty.]

• Lindsay Lohan thew a fit at the G-Star runway show:

She arrived with sister Ali in tow, wouldn't pose for photos and didn't like her seats. So, naturally, she threw the seating cards for Juliette Lewis, Christian Siriano, and Taylor Momsen on the floor. When event producers tried to approach her, she sniped, "Don't fucking touch me," and rolled her eyes. Of course, I found pix of her posing so grain of salt. [Page Six]

• Mischa Barton was at the G-star after party, drunk and saying "Like, I'm with the deejay. I totally know the deejay. I'm here for the deejay." [Page Six]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga were supposed to start a Fame Kills tour later this fall, but it looks like Kanye may have been serious about taking some time off: Tour date listings have been removed from the Ticketmaster website. [LA Times]
• Pink has a separated shoulder! "It hurts," she says. She couldn't do any of the aerial parts of her trapeze-oriented show in Seattle on Tuesday night, but won't cancel tour dates. [People]
• Katie Holmes took Suri to Beyoncé's concert in Australia on Tuesday night, and Suri wore "industrial earmuffs." [News.com.au]
• Jennifer Lopez was spotted at the White House "with an entourage bigger than President Obama's Secret Service detail." [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's community service has begun; click for a pic of him in an orange vest. He doesn't seem too… contrite; he Tweeted, "check out my outfit." [Ny Daily News]
• Why haven't we seen Mo'Nique promoting new film Precious? She will be on the Today show this morning, but she wasn't at the Toronto Film festival (Mariah Carey, Gabby Sidibe, Sherri Shephard, and Paula Patton were there) and rumors are that she wants to be paid for appearances. A studio spokesperson says it isn't true. [Showbiz 411]
• Charlize Threron is naked in the opening scene of her new film, The Burning Plain but says: "I'm not some exhibitionist. I think people think I just love walking around naked. When you start making it about yourself, you stand in the way of doing your job. I have to sit in an editing room with [director] Guillermo Arriaga and a bunch of execs, and if I had to sit there and think about myself and these men watching me, I think that would make me insecure. I'm just like every other girl out there. I would cringe." And: "There was a time in my life where I understood actors who said they don't like watching themselves. But when I made the mental switch that I was not watching myself and watching an actual character, that was the day I actually could look at things from a distance." [USA Today]
• "The uncle Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher helped put behind bars for molesting two girls has died in prison." [Daily Express]
• Sean Penn and beyond foxy Sports Illustrated model Jessica White: "Together all the time." [NY Daily News]
• Jason Schwartzman's new HBO show, Bored To Death, his most high-profile roles ever. Although he also loves books and music, acting gives him focus: "When I all of sudden became a part of Rushmore, it was like a giant acupuncture needle or something. It just put everything in line for me. It was like going to the emotional chiropractor. I was so disjointed as a teenager, from being unpopular or from being not the guy that girls liked - just feeling like an outsider, just being a dork." [AP]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Danish Girl, about the first man to undergo a sex-change operation in 1931. I know it's early but I have to say that I'm sort of scared about the medical technology back then and its proximity to genitalia. [NY Daily News]
• Bruce Willis and wife: Moving into L.A.'s new Carlyle Residences, where apartments go for $2.9-$15 million. The new pad has a private wine cellar and elevator. [E!]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean was a riding in a $200,000 Bentley on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. when his friend wrecked the car. Sean was renting it from Beverly Hills Rent-A-Car for $2,500 a day. [TMZ]
• Jasmine Guy: Deep in debt, thanks to a divorce. In related news, she has joined the cast of the new CW show Vampire Diaries as the GRANDMOTHER of one of the characters. A different world, indeed. [TMZ, Buddy TV]
• Director Jane Campion got an admiring letter from Quentin Tarantino about her latest effort, Bright Star. "It was a love letter, really, about the film," she says. "I am really touched. He is one of my biggest heroes of the current generation, I think he is a genius so it was surprising." Asked about what it takes to make movies likes hers, Campion said with a smile: "I am not very submissive." [Reuters]
• Joe Francis tried to crash a party being thrown by Frankie Delgado but was thrown out, mostly because Frankie is bff with Brody Jenner and Brody and Joe had a scuffle a couple of weeks ago. Related: I don't care about any of these people. [E!]
• "Fuming Barbra Streisand fans claim she rigged a 'cute pet competition.' so one of her friends could win priceless tickets to her upcoming Village Vanguard show." [Page Six]
• Burt Reynolds, who just went into rehab, is already out, it seems. [Reuters, Mirror]
• Jon Bon Jovi totally understands why former members of Nirvana are upset about Kurt Cobain's character in Guitar Hero 5 being able to play songs by other bands in the game. "I don't know that I would have wanted it either. To hear someone else's voice coming out of a cartoon version of me? I don't know. It sounds a little forced." [BBC News]
• "Paul McCartney topped a poll of Americans' favorite Beatles, but nearly a quarter of those surveyed said they didn't like the British rock group." [Reuters]
• Katie "Jordan" Price named her celebrity rapist on camera but "terrified" lawyers banned his identity from being broadcast. [The Sun]
• Q. After you dropped out of school at 16, you were a drummer in a punk rock band. What was that like? "It was a wild time. It involved a lot of drinking and fighting, but I'm not sure if I was being a punk rocker or just Scottish." — Craig Ferguson. [USA Today]
• "She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong! It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep- or don't keep. "It's painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him." — Madonna's brother, Christopher Ciccone, on his sister's look at the VMAs. [E!]
• Q. Did you really write the book's first chapter on your iPhone? "I actually did. I was amazed it had this little keyboard in it. I'm a techno-moron and it had this keyboard that spellchecked as you wrote. It was a good way to start writing the novel because I wasn't taking it seriously, I was just checking out my phone. The rest I wrote by hand." — Nick Cave on his second novel, The Death of Bunny Munro. [Time]
• "It's always so hard for me to describe a film I'm in, as it's so subjective. It's about a lot of different people living in Paris, and a mix of many sides of life, not all happy ones. If you don't go to the bottom, you don't know what joy is, and to explore life you have to plunge head first and take risks. And the way we're brought up with this whole view of life as black and white, good and bad, is completely false, because in life everything is transformable, and something bad can actually be very good, and vice versa. So it's about all those ideas." — Juliette Binoche on her new film, Paris. [Reuters]
• "Yeah. But I don't want to elaborate. I would never call myself a cutter. Girls go through different phases when they're growing up, when they're miserable and do different things, whether it's an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting… I never think I'm worthy of anything... I have a sick feeling of being mocked all the time. I have a lot of self-loathing." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone, when asked if she had ever cut herself. [NY Daily News]
• "I made my wife appreciate it. She was a good sport. I paraded around. I loved my body. I walked around, danced — dancing with a belly like that was fun. My stepdaughter loved it, too. She kept poking me in the stomach, laughing." — Matt Damon on gaining 30 pounds for The Informant!. [USA Today]
• "Jennifer is one of the coolest women I've ever met. She's so smart." — Gerard Butler on Ms. Aniston. [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Lindsay Lohan hit up L.A.'s Crown Bar earlier this month — and took 15-year-old sister Ali with her. A source says:

"They partied until after 1 a.m., and she treated Ali as if she were just one of her friends at the club with her. And Ali was excited to be there." Earlier in the evening, the ladies were elsewhere: "They walked into Teddy's at the Roosevelt Hotel around midnight. Both of them were smoking like chimneys and dancing around." [MSNBC Scoop via Life & Style]

• Samantha Burke is looking to sell exclusive photos when she gives birth to Jude Law's baby. Jude's Hamlet on Broadway opens October 6, the same day little love child Sophia is due. Which tab will pay for an interview and pix? [Page Six]
• Remember how Jude Law pushed a female photographer out of the way as he left a London club in July? 'The Crown Prosecution Service has decided not to take action against him, deciding he had "no intention to assault anyone." [Telegraph]
• Patrick Swayze will be cremated and his ashes will be spread across his New Mexican Rancho de Días Alegres (Ranch of Happy Days), which he called his favorite place in the world. [Newser]
• Dancing With The Stars will honor Patrick Swayze on its September 23 results show. [People]
• PAPYRUS, a suicide prevention group, says that Lady Gaga's performance at the VMAs was "sensationalizing and romanticizing suicide," which is "irresponsible." A commenter named "nick" writes: "erm dude lmao, she didnt pretend to stab herself, paparazzi is about how fame can cause death, shes sending out a message to young people that The Fame is a tough path and not everyone should go down it. Like princess diana died because of fame, jesus you guys just cry about anyone whos doing so amazingly well! GaGa your awesome!" [Pop Crunch]
• Bobby Brown is one of the only "celebrities" in the new Celebrity Fit Club, unless you count Shar Jackson. [TMZ]
• Drew Barrymore had never put on skates before shooting Whip It, but she and her castmates went to a roller-derby boot camp. She says of her decision to direct: "I've been producing for 15 years, and it's all been preparing for the big test. I really care so much about what I do, and I love filmmaking so much. I love every detail and every aspect of it. I think slow and steady wins the race, too. I didn't need to direct when I was 21. I wanted to produce and learn about the filmmaking process and understand every element going into it, so that by the time I did direct, I was as knowledgeable and well-prepared as possible." [AP]
• Serena Williams: Not in danger of losing any of her estimated $12 million in annual endorsement deals after her outburst at the US Open. [AdAge]
• Diddy's cop drama: "It was just a little misunderstanding…miscommunication. Me and the officer, we worked it out… Things were a little aggressive for me, which I'm not really used to." [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson's busty date at the VMAs is a singer he manages, but some people seemed to think it was tacky to bring her to see Janet's tribute to Michael. Like Jennifer Lopez, for instance. [Page Six]
• In this video, Jon Gosselin says that even though Stephanie Santoro's mom claims he once said he threatened suicide and had a sexual relationship with her daughter, it's not true and "people are always trying to make money" off of him. [Radar Online]
• Meanwhile: Kate Gosselin as been asked to appear on The View on Friday, the same day as Kathy Griffin, who recently opened the Creative Arts Emmys in Ed Hardy-wear saying, "I just banged Jon Gosselin." Plus: Kate will get a show called Mom Logic, where she'll work with Southern cook Paula Deen. Their show will have "a mix of advice, health and beauty tips and celebrity gossip geared toward moms and moms-to-be." [Radar]
• Spotted at an NYC gay party: Daniel Craig. [Village Voice]
• Your morning cute: Walker, the new son of Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs.[People]
• BREAKING: Spencer gave Heidi a maltipoo puppy for her birthday. Wait, isn't Jessica Simpson missing a maltipoo? [People]
• Anne Heche and "lazy-ass" ex-husband Coley Laffoon now have a highly paid court-ordered chaperone called a "parenting plan coordinator" who makes $375 an hour to teach them how to make effective parenting decisions. That's good money, but… yikes. [TMZ]
• Cops were called to the home of Rolling Stone guitarist Ronnie Wood after a "domestic disturbance" with 19-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova. No arrests were made. [Mirror]
• A photographer to Mickey Rourke at 1:45pm at a fashion week event: "Smile! Why aren't you smiling?" Mickey: "Cause I'm still drunk." He also said: "I'm wearing the same suit I got from a bad movie I did seven years ago. It's still got the stains from a bullet hole. I just put this colorful pocket square in front of the stain so nobody can tell." [Page Six]
• Lost news! Ian Somerhalder, aka Boone, was en route to Hawaii yesterday. He teases: "The only thing I can say is that I'm going back for several episodes….I have a script that weighs like 200 pounds, but I don't really know what's happening." [EW]
• Guys, I never read celebrity litter-ature, but I just might have to get Kelly Osbourne's new book, Fierce. The description reads: "This book isn't just about me, it's about you. So whatever you're worried about, whatever you want to change, and whatever you want to shout about, me and my friends are here to help." [KellyOsbourne.com]
• Jill Scott will star in a Lifetime movie called Sins of the Mother, based on the novel Orange Mint and Honey by Carleen Brice. The plot revolves around a grad student who returns home to face her abusive, alcoholic mother — played by Scott — only to discover that her mom is sober and has a new life. [Variety]
• DVR Alert: George Takei and his husband will appear on the The Newlywed Game! [NY Daily News]
• "Livid Katie Price phones TV show to say she will NEVER name celebrity who raped her." [Daily Mail]
• In a poll, commissioned by UK's Children's Society, 55% of those questioned thought David Beckham was a good role model for kids; two-thirds of adults believe school-age children do not have appropriate role models in their lives. [Telegraph]
• "I had this, without going into detail, this epiphany, this awakening and it both terrified me and compelled me. I felt blessed and cursed in New Orleans and I was afraid to go back to New Orleans. I knew I had to confront my fears and make a movie in New Orleans so I requested we film in New Orleans so I could go through this catharsis. I really didn't know which way it would go. It was either going to be beautiful or a disaster. The first day of filming I couldn't remember my lines but then it began to flow." — Nicolas Cage on new flick Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans. [Mirror]
• Q: You've made over 40 films. Have your ideas about beauty changed as you've gotten older? A: I've just rewatched Paris, the new film I did that's coming out in America-and it talks about that. Because my character is 40 years old with three children and she feels like her love life is over. And actually her brother, who's very sick, gives her another view of her life by saying, "Go for it. You're lucky to be alive and healthy." So it's not about age. I believe that-that's why I started to dance at age 43 and why I'm doing other things. — Juliette Binoche. Click the link to see Juliette's paintings and an image from her dance performance. [W]  
• "I'm from Illinois, she was from Wisconsin, and I could understand a midwestern quality about her. She knew what she wanted to do: At 8 years old she was playing with her friend and asked her, 'What are you going to do when you grow up?' 'I don't know.' 'Well, I'm gonna be a painter.' At 8 years old, I was, 'I'm gonna be an actor.' So I could see that we shared a kind of focus." — Joan Allen on playing Georgia O'Keeffe in a new Lifetime movie. [AP]
• "I have no desire to have children. People keep saying that it'll change. I'm like, 'No, it's not going to change.' I think it would be really selfish to have a child right now. I'm never home. People don't always think about the quality of life when they're having a child. I love children but I have no desire to have my own child. I'm too nervous to procreate my own genes." — Chelsea Handler. [Telegraph]
• "Sue Sylvester can be a very dark person, and she has joy in her darkness. She loves showing people how cruel she can be. If it didn't live in me, I couldn't do it! In the pilot, when they're introducing my character, Matthew Morrison in the voice-over says, 'She may or may not have posed for Penthouse.' And I thought, 'Oh, OK. I want to play this part! Penthouse?' Plus, she is so cold and ruthless, and I thought this was a nice, extreme character and I wanted to play her." — Jane Lynch on her character in Glee. [USA Today]
• "I feel like (my private life is) no one's business. I don't know about your life. I don't want to, truthfully. It's not my business. It's a very strange thing. But somehow it's like there was some clause somewhere that said, ‘Well, you're a public person so we get to go into your house and search through your drawers.' I don't know who came up with it because I wouldn't have signed on. I don't think anybody would have… It's embarrassing that people are focused so much and putting so much money into gossip magazines to escape. The paparazzi and the magazines deserve their share of the blame, but they're just supplying a demand. It's unfortunate that people don't care that they've been lied to, they don't care that they're being sort of messed with and not given the full truth. They buy them anyway." — Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC via Parade]
• "I'd rather have a rectal examination on live TV by a fellow with cold hands than have a Facebook page" — George Clooney. [Page Six]
• "My temper is ridiculously bad. I've had to say to Brian, 'You have to go and stop talking to me, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you with something, please leave.' I'd never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn't shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone. [Page Six]

• Unsolicited uterus update: Nicole Richie is in labor!

She has been admitted to the hospital to give birth to her second child with Joel Madden. Details to come. [ET]

• Spoilery secrets from Sex And The City 2: Gay wedding! And Jesus on Manolos, if Miley Cyrus is in the movie that has got to be one of the signs of the apocalypse. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Cops rushed to Halle Berry's house yesterday when someone tripped an alarm on the property by accident. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson will open the MTV Video Music Awards with a musical tribute to her brother, Michael Jackson. [USA Today]
• It's been decided: Michael Jackson's three children will not enroll at the school Tito's kids attend; they will continue to be home schooled by the same tutors they had under Michael's supervision. [TMZ]
• "Various members of Michael Jackson's family tell TMZ they are already talking about lawyers who might rep them in a wrongful death lawsuit against Dr. Conrad Murray… In California, Jackson's immediate family could sue for the economic loss they have suffered by Jackson's death — e.g., the financial support Jackson could have provided had he lived. Here's the problem — Jackson's death may actually be an economic gain. It's already becoming clear Michael Jackson is more profitable in death than he was in the last years of his life." [TMZ]
• Emma Watson's first days at Brown University: Not going so great. The paparazzi shot her doing orientation activities, and a Twitter user wrote: "My dad made Emma Watson mad by taking a photo of her going inside the Financial Aid office at Brown. She was with her mom & boyfriend." And now: A CNN story! [CNN]
• Rihanna's dad: Not too thrilled about Rihanna topless (but wearing pasties) in Italian Vogue: "The photo was disturbing," he told Us Weekly. He was, however, amused by Chris Brown on Larry King Live: "The costume he wore was so funny. That bow tie thing. He needs to bury that." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Uh-oh. According to this column, even though a judge ordered Chris Brown and Rihanna to stay away from each other, they can't. A source says "They spoke to their lawyers to see what was allowed, and are now planning two weeks in Mexico." As always, consider the source on this. [MSNBC via Britain's Star]
• Tila Tequila's lawyer claims that Shawne Merriman's version of events is "spin." In a statement, Tila's rep says: "Fortunately, we as a society will not tolerate a 6'4", 270 pound all-pro NFL linebacker physically assaulting a young lady who is 4'11" and 93 pounds. It is never justifiable to brutally assault, choke, strike and imprison a woman." [TMZ]
• Shawne Merriman's ex-girlfriend says "he never laid a hand on me" and "it's out of his character" to lash out at a woman. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson was spotted wearing a diamond band on THAT finger, so speculation is that it's a meaningful gift from A-Rod. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse's dad caught his daughter in bed with none other than "druggie and former jailbird" Blake Fielder-Civil. Mitch Winehouse allegedly threatened to "punch his lights out." [The Sun]
• Brody Jenner met with cops yesterday to make a statement about the altercation between his girlfriend Jayde Nicole and Girls Gone Wild mastermind Joe Francis. [Radar Online]
• Antonio Banderas told Ellen that knee operations after a skiing accident required Melanie Griffith to use narcotics again, which is why she went to rehab. Antonio says: "In March, she came to me and said, 'I'm feeling a little bit weak in my determination for this ... so I just thought to go to rehabilitation by myself. So the whole entire family is supporting her, and I am supporting her, and at this particular time more than ever. I'm very proud of her." [People]
• Jay-Z will perform at Madison Square Garden on Friday at a special September 11 benefit concert, and tickets — originally priced at $55 — are being scalped for $200 to $3,000. Jay says he's "disheartened." [AP]
• Yoko Ono allegedly told Britain's Sky News channel that the entire Beatles' music catalog will be made available on iTunes; then the news item was removed. Is an announcement imminent? [MSNBC]
• This report claims that the Yoko/iTunes story is untrue. [CBS News]
• Kourtney Kardashian baby shower "secrets" at the link. [People]
• Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy, Scott Disick, hangs out with Kevin Federline. [Page Six]
• Pamela Anderson has been dating this electrician/surfer for a while now, but People calls it a "new shocker." [People]
• Pam Anderson plays a scantily clad security guard who strips passengers of animal products in a new PETA ad, which the CNN Airport Network has deemed too racy, saying "children make up part of the demographic in airports." [Page Six]
• Simon Cowell is planning a massive, $400,000 party for his 50th birthday, with Elton John, Kevin Spacey, Denise Richards and Donald Trump attending. [MSNBC]
• Robert Rodriguez is taking over Austin, Texas as his new flick, Machete, starts filming. Look for Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez and, yes, Lindsay Lohan. [Page Six]
• Lil Wayne's North American tour grossed about $42 million and drew nearly 804,000 fans, making it the highest grossing hip-hop outing of the year — and the most lucrative rap tour that Billboard has ever tracked. Plus, that kind of cash buys a lot of whatever Weezy drinks out of that styrofoam cup. [Reuters]
• Halle Berry is in talks to star in action-thriller Dark Tide. Penned by Amy Sorlie, the story concerns a diving instructor who returns to the deep after a near-fatal incident with a Great White shark. [Variety]
• Rapper Eve was in the VIP area of a club when she got hungry, so she asked for "something vegetarian, like grilled cheese or chicken fingers." [Page Six]
• Everything you never wanted to know about Sydney Andrews, the Melrose Place character played by Laura Leighton. [People]
• Laura Krafft — who once worked for Stephen Colbert — will head the writing team for Wanda Sykes' new show. [Page Six]
• Spandau Ballet: Making a comeback. [Daily Mail]
• "For a while I thought, well, maybe I just don't want to work any more, or work now, because nothing was appealing to me. It actually was a little nerve-racking. But I read this and I thought: 'Here's something.'" — Edie Falco on Nurse Jackie. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "9/11 has been the pretext for the systematic dismantling of our Constitution and Bill of Rights… the official story behind 9/11 is a fraud" — Charlie Sheen. [Page Six]
• "The second time I had plastic surgery I got it done for free. People was covering it and I met a team of doctors that had a publicist who kept adding procedures. The guy who did my LASIK surgery wanted to do a 'tune-up' and now I've had five surgeries on my eye. I have partial blindness in one of my eyes, actually. It was very much like Nip/Tuck where they'd be like, 'Tell me what you don't like about yourself,' and then they'd draw all over you with markers to highlight your 'problem' areas. […] Besides, I actually have a theory that my original nose has grown back. I heard that your ears and nose continue to grow as you age so I think that I'm right back to where I started." — Kathy Griffin. [Time]
• "We never wanted to be parents, with all that entails: the loss of freedom, total dependency. I didn't have a work ethic for such a long time. Imagine if I had a child like me? I didn't start earning until I was 36. I'm the sort of person who has to check three times that I've shut the door, so I'd probably stare at a kid all day to check it was breathing." — Ricky Gervais on he and partner Jane Fallon's decision not to have children. [The Sun]
• "I'm not the kind of woman who waits a lot. [Laughs.] I take life as it is, and it just happened that my masseuse, Su-Man, asked me, 'Do you want to dance?' I was lying on the table having a massage, and I said, 'Yes.' Then I met with Akram, and they proposed, 'Do you want to do three days of trying something together?' But I never think of time, because when you're inside of your life, you don't think of time. It's a learning process with my body, and it's challenging, but I love it because it allows me to enter different worlds, spaces, and fears. I don't want to go to the same place. Otherwise, I'm bored." — Juliette Binoche, on In-I, a dance performance she choreographed with Akram Khan, in BAM's Next Wave Festival. [Village Voice]
• Q: Paparazzi get photos of celebrities doing pretty much everything, but they never seem to get pictures of stars after surgery. Why is that? A: Oh, there's a whole system you need to know about. First of all, the plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills all have secret celebrity doors. After the surgery, you leave the plastic surgeon's office covered in a sheet that's not unlike a burqa. Your assistant takes you to an upscale hotel where you hide in a dark room of shame until you're better. There are bandaged rich ladies walking around the hallways of the Four Seasons and the Peninsula in Beverly Hills right now. It's not unlike being a war criminal or a terrorist. — Kathy Griffin. [Time]

• Angelina Jolie started working on Salt yesterday, and her character, rogue CIA operative Evelyn A. Salt, has a couple of different looks:

So far we're seeing raven-haired and blonde. Oh, and here's an interesting quote from producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura, about reworking the script originally intended for Tom Cruise: "I had no idea how complex it would be," he says. "We had to rethink the whole notion of how a man vs. a woman operates in the business world, in personal relationship and in friendships." This should be interesting. [USA Today]

• Well, this just isn't nice: After reports came out that Guy Ritchie calls Madonna "It," Madge has been sent 100 copies of the horror movie Stephen King's It. "She's received the packages at all of her addresses so she suspects they are from somebody she knows. And she is furious," a source claims. [News.com.au]
• Krishna Siqueira is the ex-gf of Madonna's new "friend," Jesus Luz. She says: "He is a wonderful person. We were dating and then the magazine shoot came up. Then came the story that he was with her [Madonna]. We took some time out because we imagined he was going away to live and could not continue long-distance dating." Krishna says Jesus is not with Madonna for the publicity: "He's not that kind of person." [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna's family: Apparently not happy about her reconciliation with Chris Brown. "Everyone wants them to take a break, to cool off," a relative of Rihanna tells People. "No one wants them back together." The couple has left Miami and is now in L.A. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan's New York apartment, which she never actually slept in, is for sale. You get two bedrooms, two bathrooms, floor-to-ceiling windows, and an unobstructed view of the Statue of Liberty for the low, low price of $1,200,000. Any takers? [Gothamist]
• Oh, Christ. Lindsay Lohan's crazy ass father has started contacting Lily Allen. Lily says: "I got a Twitter from her dad saying 'Dear Lily, I think you have an alcohol problem that needs addressing. From Michael Lohan.' I was, like, leave me alone." This is not good. [The Sun]
• What's this? Michael Lohan had lunch with Courtenay Semel? A spy says it was superserious: "There was no laughing and no smiling." What could they have been talking about??? [E!]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of 14, says her original six kids are already jealous of the octuplets. When a friend showed the kids a picture of their new siblings, "they hit the picture," Suleman says. Oh, and by the way, she has a new house: "It's safe. It's about 2,800 square feet, four bedrooms. I don't want anyone to know where we are. I have trust issues. I know there are a lot of emotionally disturbed people." [MSNBC Scoop]
• George Clooney texted ex Lisa Snowdon and it made the paper. [Daily Express]
• WTF. Lauren Conrad has a novel?!?! The tome, L.A. Candy, is about Jane, a girl who moves to L.A. and unexpectedly becomes the star of a reality television show. Shocking. [People]
• Britney's family is excited for her tour, which will include a three-ring circus setup and magic tricks. Are they the only ones? [People]
• Wait: Madonna might join Britney on stage. That would be good. [Gatecrasher]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Mariah Carey is not pregnant. Her "baby" is her dog, Jack, and he may be getting his own reality show. Barf. No, wait: Arf. [Fox 411]
• Amy Winehouse has moved out of Camden to a gated house in the suburbs. Though she seems to be planning a "massive Camden pub crawl." [Daily Mail]
• Sharon Osbourne has been sued by the woman whose hair she grabbed on Rock of Love: Charm School. The charges? Battery, negligence and infliction of emotional distress. Seems like the emotional distress part is from just being on a reality show, no? [TMZ]
• Did you catch Jimmy Fallon's first show last night? Apparently Robert DeNiro, who rarely does talk shows, was pretty funny. [Fox 411]
• Mickey Rourke danced with a bathroom attendant. [Gatecrasher]
• Whee! Ashley Jensen, aka Christina, will return to Ugly Betty. She announced she was leaving in January, but now says: "It's time I challenged myself professionally. They haven't killed by character off, so I'll be back at some point." Her Scottish brogue would be sorely missed. [The Sun]
• Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester is inside the new issue of In Style and in this photo, she looks hungover and strung out. [Just Jared]
• Matthew McConaughey is officially in the record business! He's producing a Bermudian roots-reggae artist, naturally. McConaughey says of Mishka: "My one-liner to him is ‘Look, man, I think your music needs to be heard by more ears than it has. I've heard it. I love it. Anybody I've ever turned on to your music ends up loving it.'" Then he put the bong down. [Rolling Stone]
• Danny Boyle may helm the next Bond flick. Upgrade? [The Sun]
• ABC TV series Life On Mars has been canceled. [Variety]
• Uh-oh: The food may have been spoiled at Elton John's Oscar party; some guests ended up "vomiting for days." [Page Six]
• Angela Bassett will make her directorial debut with United States, an indie feature in which a prominent black literary figure writes a faux autobiography from the perspective of a barely literate hoodlum to decry what is wrong with the glorification of "ghetto" culture… and the book is a hit. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Natalie Imbruglia is not, repeat, not dating Prince Harry. She says: "He was just at my birthday party. That was it. I met him for about two seconds." [Daily Express]
• Sienna Miller is trying to charm people in the film industry in L.A. after being shunned over her affair with Balthazar Getty. Good luck! [Daily Express]
• John Travolta and Kelly Preston have written a letter to Lady Lake, FL, thanking the town for its support after their son Jett died. [UPI]
• Someone broke the windows in Jay Kay from Jamiroquai's Ferrari, but it's hard to care. [Daily Mail]
• Check out this Ricky Gervais meltdown, in which he is not pulling a "Christian Bale," even if that is the headline. [LA Times]
• You know how Bruce Willis is being sued for "walking off the set" of a flick he was supposed to direct? He's calling the suit "frivolous and without merit." [E!]
• The Flaming Lips track, "Do You Realize," is now Oklahoma's official rock song. [AP]
• Spinal Tap: Live! The "Unwigged and Unplugged" tour starts April 17 in Vancouver. [AP]
• Simply Red's plane was forced to make an emergency landing en route from Buenos Aires to Brazil, but everyone is okay. Holding back the years tears! [Reuters]
• If you're living on a prayer, get psyched for the Bon Jovi book which comes out in the fall — an "insider portrait" with previously unpublished photographs and text by the band members. [AP]
• Blind item! "Which sexy NYC-based celeb's pickup line needs a little improvement? 'Have we met?' he asks. 'Have we had sex? No? Do you want to?'" [Gatecrasher]
• Bad news: Fred Durst is making a comeback. [Page Six]
• Jim Carrey's daughter Jane has a band called the Jane Carrey band. [The Life Files]
• Legal troubles for Sean Connery: Did he profit from a loan to a former friend? [Daily Mail]
• "Because this album is so sonically different than anything I've done before and captures many flavors of my emotional life and voice, it needed an entirely new name. 'Terra Incognita' means unknown territory — and that's where I wanted to go musically. The guitars are more wild and atmospheric. The groove is dark and deep and allow for a lot of sonic contrasts. It took me five years to really cut my teeth both as a performer and as a songwriter and I wanted to break all the habits I'd gotten used to and let songs develop out of a groove or simple piano notes and melody." — Juliette Lewis, on her new album with her new band, the New Romantiques, who are replacing her former band, The Licks. [NME]
• "I think that criticism is a good thing because it teaches you to (ask) some questions." — Juliette Binoche, on her new dance performance, which the Times of London called "intermittently excruciating." [Breitbart]
• "I'm coping mostly and I'm mostly clean, I won't lie to you it is a struggle. My dad and I are estranged. In his mind if I'm still ­using in any way then I'm not his son. But my mum speaks to me ­secretly. I try and wrap myself up enough so that it doesn't get to me and I don't feel anything but really of course it gets to me. I love the man and I grew up kind of idolising him. It's breaking my heart that for him the be-all and end-all of our relationship is whether or not there's something despicable in my bloodstream. I'd love to just go to football with him like we used to or just go for a drink and be a son and him a father." — Pete Doherty. [Daily Express]

[Sydney, February 16. Image via Getty]

• The crew on Madonna's world tour is threatening to quit because they had to stay at a cheap airport hotel while she stayed in an £11,000-a-night castle. It cannot be confirmed whether or not Her Madgesty said, "Let them eat cake." [Mirror, WOW Report]
• Here's the latest on David Duchovny: He may have had an addiction to online porn. And he may have released a statement about it because he was already in treatment and a fellow patient was about to sell info to the tabloids. [Fox News]
• Looking back at old interviews, Duchovny revealed his love of porn and '80s porn stars. [People]
• Meanwhile, Tea Leoni has canceled her appearance at the Toronto Film Festival. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan hung out with Sam Ronson instead of going to her grandfather's wake on Long Island. [The Sun]
• Lindsay signed a MySpace message "This song is for SR… ILY." Translation: "This song is for Sam Ronson. I love you." [Pop Dirt]
• Are Queen Latifah and her long time partner Jeanette Jenkins planning on adopting? Are they out now? [ONTD]

• Some dude's been arrested for stealing a digital camera that had pictures of Kate Middleton and Prince William vacationing in Mustique together. The camera belonged to Kate's little sister Pippa and the guy intended to sell the snaps to the tabloids, obvs. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Spacey: Seen pinching the bare bottom of some dude. [Mr. Paparazzi, via Perez Hilton]
• Says a witness: "Kevin looked like he was having a brilliant time." [The Sun]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View is heading to the Republican National Convention on Thursday. She'll fly in and out on the same day. "I must really want John McCain elected," she says, "because I would not get on a plane like that for anyone else." Oh, the sacrifice! Thank God McCain has you. [NY Daily News]
• The apocalypse is nigh: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are opening a bar. In NEW YORK. To be called The Hill. [W]
• Save Katie! The anti-Scientology group Anonymous will be protesting at opening night of Katie Holmes' Broadway debut in All My Sons. "We aren’t looking to shut it down, we just want to prove a point," says a spokesperson. [MSNBC]
• Josh Hartnett and and unnamed female friend went into a little-used library at a SoHo hotel and started getting "hot and heavy." Since the hotel — and the library — are under security camera surveillance, the staff saw a little show on a monitor. No video link, sorry! [MSNBC]
• Michael Phelps shot a cameo for the new season of Entourage. "It was like being in New York City with one of the Beatles," Kevin "E" Connolly says. "People were stopping in the streets and climbing up things to see him. They were going nuts. He's like a superstar." [Yahoo News]
• Meanwhile, Michael Phelps is totally not talking about the ladies and doing his best to have some privacy: "I never said I have a girlfriend, and I never said I don't have a girlfriend," he says. [People]
• DNA evidence has linked an air conditioning repairman to the 2001 stabbing death of Ashley Ellerin, Ashton Kutcher's former girlfriend. [Yahoo News]
• Johnny Depp was on stage with his old band! One night only! He played guitar and sang backup! It was for charity. [Yahoo News]
• This was probably inevitable but still: Oy: Agyness Deyn is working on a Hollywood career. [Daily Mail]
• Not that you asked, but Britney has been working out "super hard" and is in "great shape." [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie would like to work on a European film. "No one has asked me yet," she says. "When I can really speak it, maybe I'll try out for a French film in a few years." [Breitbart]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Moving in together? They looked at a $22 million mansion in Malibu and Sienna liked it. (At that price point, what's not to like?) [Perez Hilton]
• Maroon 5's Adam Levine: Seen hitting on newly single Anne Hathaway at the Vanity Fair DNC party. Uh-oh, isn't Adam on that herpes chart? [Fox News]
• James Gandolfini, 46, married his fiancée Deborah Lin, 40, in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii on Saturday. "They both wore long, green leis around their necks," says a source. "There were lots of white flowers on the tables and Gandolfini was beaming." [People]
• French actress Emmanuelle Beart and director Fabrice Du Welz are defending their latest movie, Vinyan, in which Beart stars as a mother who loses her son to the 2004 tsunami but refuses to believe he is dead. The character and her husband go looking for the kid in the jungle of the Thai-Myanmar border and stumble across a terrifying world ruled by savage children. It's a horror film, but the director says, "I tried to be as respectful as I can. I don't want to be unpleasant to people who have really suffered from the tsunami." [Yahoo News]
• John Mayer got really drunk and partied with a blonde cocktail waitress on the last night of his world tour. On stage, he mentioned reading The Secret and said "I had a conversation recently, and a lot of tears were exchanged." Jen Aniston, sniff, sniff. [People]
• This is just coming out now, but apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed twice last year: Once in July, from smoking hash for 36 hours; next in August from cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, ketamine and crystal meth. Now she might have brain damage or schizophrenia from the drugs. [The Sun]
• Another "Amy Winehouse may have brain damage" story. [Daily Mail]
• Headline of the day: "Could Scarlett Be The Next Spielberg?" Yes, Ms. Johansson wants to direct. [Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson has become "close to" a "glamorous Russian musician" on the set on his new movie but he says she's just a colleague and he remains happily married. [Daily Mail]
• The stage musical version of 9 To 5 features 19 new Dolly Parton songs. "She's so lovely and so humble," producer Robert Greenblatt says. "She says, 'I'm not sure I'll get you the whole way there, but I'd love to give it a try. If something doesn't work exactly, I'll rewrite it.'" [Variety]
• Colin Farrell saved this homeless guy's life by giving him cash and telling him: "You need to get your life together, man, promise me. And make sure you go see my new movie." [Toronto Sun]
• Jude Law is visiting Afghanistan to promote peace. Yeah, I dunno. [AP]
• Sign of the recession? Diddy had to give up his private jet. [The Star]
• Natalie Portman won a humanity award at the Venice Film Festival, where she made her directorial debut with a short film called Eve. [The Star]
• Duran Duran fan? Maybe you wanna read about how cocaine destroyed the band. Written by Andy Taylor! [Daily Mail]
• Sixty-two year old Cher has a 36 year old man and she hired a private jet to fly him and two of his buddies to Memphis to catch a Merle Haggard show, which is kind of awesome. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze: Still on. [Page Six]
• Leanne Rimes, 26, has been married for seven years, and says she is ready for a baby. [People]
• "You are bugging the fuck out… No disrespect. …Alaska? I don't even know if there's any black people in Alaska. If you really think we're gonna let you win the election with these crazy decisions that you're making, you're bugging." —Diddy's thoughts about Sarah Palin in a video directed to John McCain. [Perez Hilton]
• Jerry O'Connell says pregnant wife Rebecca Romjin craves lemonade and soy cream cheese. "Can't be cream cheese. Soy cream cheese. Do you know how difficult it is to find soy cream cheese? It's usually in the corner of the supermarket someplace!" [People]
• "The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness. There was no sexual tension." — Naomi Watts. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "When it comes to fashion, I know about as much as Betty. I love to play dress-up and it’s fun, but I’m not interested in the fashion world. If I wasn’t an actress, I’d probably want to be a teacher." — America Ferrera. [Mirror]
• "I always knew I was never the prettiest or ugliest girl in the room. Life's too short to inject botulism into you face to get rid of a tiny line because you've laughed too much. I don't feel a need to lose weight, because I'm not 21. I'm happy with my package." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "It's very strange to be here in London without Anthony Minghella, whom I loved very much, and very painful. I was so frightened in the first week of shooting The English Patient, I was trembling, but he was trying to find a way to win my trust, and he just said to me, 'Well, fly...' and I did and it changed my life." — Juliette Binoche. [Independent]
• "Victoria and I are very different. People bracket us together because we live in the same city and we’re both interested in fashion. Victoria’s fashion line has been very successful and, hopefully mine will be too. But that’s where the similarities begin and end." —Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. Not that you knew she had a fashion line. [Daily Mail]
• "The only thing I can cook really is mince meat, which is ironic because I'm a vegetarian. But I like calzone and lasagne. I cooked every day in Spain so David and the boys lived off minced meat for four years. I cook a Sunday dinner every single Sunday I'll have you know. My kids like Yorkshire pudding so I make that, I can make it from scratch and I make Dora the Explorer cakes for afters because the kids love them." — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "I can't even think about having another baby right now. The boys take up so much of my time." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I don't care for [romantic comedies] where the guy is emasculated, tossed around by the woman, and lacking a point of view. It's a disservice to both the male and the female. I like to give my guys some balls" - Matthew McConaughey to Plenty magazine. [Page Six]
• "I kind of want to see how the audience responds first. I don't want to overstay my welcome." — Shannen Doherty, on whether she will stick with the new 90210. [LA Times]
• "I informed British Airways of my late arrival. I told them I was a kind of minor celebrity and I might get a bit of hassle at the airport. Turns out they are complete arseholes. Even when I fell over and badly creased my hat, I had no assistance. I was crying but I didn't want them to see. A cynic might say I missed the plane, an honest man might say I went to the airport a little late." —Pete Doherty. [Mirror]
• "I think manipulation is something that women do a lot, it's still our number one problem. You look at those characters [in The Duchess] — Georgiana and Bess — and they're hugely trying to outmanoeuvre each other, but I think it's also possible for intense love affairs to happen between women — not necessarily sexual, but things can obviously take a sexual turn. Women do get obsessed with other women — whether they love them or hate them, and I think that line is very easy to cross." — Keira Knightley [Guardian]

• Isaac Mizrahi is defecting from Target to join Tim Gunn at Liz Claiborne. [Maybe they will post a YouTube video of themselves doing lunch at the company salad bar so Jennie can use it for porn! -Moe] This is supposed to be a big "blow" to Target, but Claiborne can use all the help it can get. [NYT]
  
• Keith Richards is the new face of Louis Vuitton. It was Marc's idea, of course. It's like post-post-sharkjumpism or something. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Designer Diane von Furstenberg on Hillary Clinton: "I support Hillary because I believe she will do the best job in the White House. I do know her a little and like her very much. She is intelligent, diligent, micro and macro, and she truly cares." [WWD, 2nd item]

• Kenneth Cole is not returning to the runways anytime soon because he doesn't feel "runway ready," or just can't bother justifying the expense to his shareholders, or whatevs. [WWD, 1st item]
• Hilary Duff is set to launch her second fragrance, With Love. (More apt name: With Greed.) [BellaSugar]
• Paris' infamous boutique Colette, which, depending on your point of view, is the most pretentious/awesome store in all the universe, is partnering with H&M to carry the cheap chain's Fashion Against AIDS collection, the first time H&M has allowed another retailer to stock its merchandise. The line includes design collaborations with famous designers like The Cardigans, Ziggy Marley, Rihanna, Good Charlotte, Jade Jagger, My Chemical Romance, Rufus Wainwright, the Scissor Sisters, and Timbaland. [Fashion Week Daily]

• Target might have lost Isaac to Liz Claiborne, but it looks like they're about to gain the designing powers of hot English designer Jonathan Saunders for the GO International line. [Vogue UK]
• Juliette Binoche is selling Lancome now. [Chic Report]
• And Diesel is selling bed linens now! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Christian Louboutin and his red-undersided shoes will be the sole focus of an upcoming exhibit at the Museum at FIT in New York. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Neiman Marcus commercials from 1985! [Sassybella]
• Laura Ashley to take over Moss Brothers? [NYT]
• Burberry: Stock might be dropping, but revenues are rising. Oh, the chavs. Gotta love 'em. [WWD, sub req'd]