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sequined
06/18/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Just so everyone knows what a loser I am, I checked the length of Paris's "tweet" and it's 135 characters over the limit. It must have been two tweets, if it was a tweet at all.

Yeah, I did indeed read that, get suspicious, open Twitter, copy and paste the text, make note of the number in red, and come back over to the Jezebel tab to report back what I'd found. That makes me the lamest person in the world.
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MissMoneypenny
06/18/09

@sequined: It says that she blogged it, not tweeted, but I didn't know she had a blog.
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sequined
06/18/09

@MissMoneypenny: That makes me both a loser and a bad reader. Whooooops.
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Lolita Hazed
06/18/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
JAMIE FOXX MAY PROMPTLY BLAME HIS INJURY ON THE ALCOHOL.

No one. Else. SAID IT.

So I had to.
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munchkinchop
06/18/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Is it weird that this was my favorite part?:

"There wasn't sad or anything. This thing we were feeling... tears were streaming down my face."

I want this to be a song. NOW.

Also, plastic spoons and a bottle of wine a night? Meh and duh. She has eight goddamned children. Isn't that some kind of survival technique? At least, it would be for me.
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Lolita Hazed
06/18/09

@munchkinchop: I AGREE.
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formerlyzivah
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Gossip mags are really hurting if news about the death of a dude who used to do the hair of a couple of actresses is even being considered.
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Mishegoss
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Ughn @ Hef. Sorry, but do these girls labour under the delusion that they'll live there forever and that he loves them?
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brendastarlet is on it
06/17/09

@Mishegoss: they have contracts -- the previous Girls Next Door got $200k a year, plus whatever endorsements they pick up.

I still think it's odd creepy creepy odd that Kendra refers to Hef as her ex-boyfriend, given that she now has an actually virile fiance.
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Penny
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Did I miss a beat? I didn't know PR was moving back to NYC?
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brendastarlet is on it
06/17/09

@Penny: this is the Lifetime version.
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battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
The more these faux-spanking scandals come out the more I wonder if these people never had a fucking childhood. Getting spanked with a fucking spoon does not hurt. Screaming is a default reaction to spanking whether it hurts or not. I had cousins who endured half-hour spankathons with studded belts and are well-adjusted individuals. Buck the fuck up, seriously.
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vamusical
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Woah woah woah. Carrie Underwood dumped her hot hockey player boyfriend and is now dating Chace Crawford?!?! Her stock is PLUMMETING right now.
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brendastarlet is on it
06/17/09

@vamusical: that's what happens when you don't make it to the Stanley Cup finals.
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MissKittyFantastico
06/17/09

@brendastarlet is on it: Nah, Chace Crawford was prior to the hottie hockey player. Past-tense relationship.
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Ultraprison!
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Squeeeeee new season of Project Runway! Make it work people!
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YourScreenplaySucks
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
The New Kids on the Block have cancelled their Australian tour. Donnie Wahlberg wrote on his blog, "We are, in fact, in the middle of a worldwide recession and we just cannot make it work."

I would've replaced "worldwide recession" with "an ill-advised reunion of an ill-advised union" but I suppose we're all entitled to our own interpretations of reality.
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rhymeswithfeather
06/18/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: I LOL'd. But I think their show sold out in my neck of the woods!
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szuperremek
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
A fourth Hole album?

Naturally I'll buy it, but I don't know how I feel about this..
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YourScreenplaySucks
06/17/09

@szuperremek: I'll buy it too, but I'm curious about how her voice will sound - it was completely shot on some of those studio demos she released last year.

I wonder why Eric's not coming back. Musically speaking, he's as much an "essence" of Hole as she is.
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clevernamehere
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Wow! There's a lot in this dirt bag.

You really can't see anything in the Lilo photo, but I'm still fascinated.

I'm not super surprised that Billy Joel and his younger-than-his daughter wife are divorcing. They don't seem to want the same things.

No matter what Scout and Tallulah say, it must be weird to see Daddy and Stepmommy in those photos.

The Kate spoon comment seems silly. I'm not pro-spanking, but 5 smacks with a spoon isn't abusive in my opinion.
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tomatoheart
06/17/09

@clevernamehere: i used to get spanked with a large wooden spoon when i was a kid. I personally don't want to use corporal punishment with my kids, but I also don't think my parents abused me.
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Nun Shall Pass
06/17/09

@clevernamehere: Man, if getting spanked with a plastic spoon is abuse, someone should've called DCF when I was growing up, having to pick out what belt I "wanted" to get my ass whooped with. Hot damn, people!
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mhoppal
06/17/09

@Nun Shall Pass: At least you got a choice in belt. My dad used a huge, thick leather saddle strap. Although my mom did "let" me go choose my own switch off the willow tree.
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labeled
06/18/09

@mhoppal: I just posted this about my mom... that was some serious mind-fuckery.
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Ailatan
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Britain's Advertising Standards Authority has cleared Duffy's Diet Coke commercial in which she rides her bicycle through a supermarket even though 18 people complained that she was not wearing reflective clothing and her bicycle had no lights on it. [BBC]

what? she's riding her bike inside a supermarket, people! it's clearly, you know, not real.
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frozenfresa
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
Plastic spoon? Poor choice, Kate.

Any hispanitas out there live in fear of "el cucharon de palo"???
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KiddyKat
06/17/09

@frozenfresa: nope. El cinto and la chancla were my parents' devices of discipline.
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clevernamehere
06/17/09

@frozenfresa: The wooden spoon crosses many cultural barriers.
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Casquivana
06/17/09

@KiddyKat: Oh yeah, I think la chancla must be the most popular. All my friends and I, even the ones with super laid-back parents who never got mad, had anecdotes about our encounter with la chancla and, well, el chanclazo.
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VPea
06/17/09

@frozenfresa: omg yes! and my mother used to chase me around our pj apartment with a plastic lobster we had too

why did we have a plastic lobster?

why do we all have those oversized wooden spoons and forks?
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VPea
06/17/09

@Casquivana: ARGH chancleta!!!!
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Zombies make the heart grow fonder
06/17/09

@frozenfresa: No, chancletas are my fear. When Abue couldn't catch you, the sandal just went flying at you from across the room.
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Evie Havok
06/17/09

@frozenfresa: Para mi eran chanclas y el cinturon. It hurt but was well deserved.
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xay
06/17/09

@frozenfresa: My mom was just reminiscing this weekend about how she used to carry a wooden spoon in her purse as a deterrent so I wouldn't act up in public. And getting the spoon was nothing compared to a switch.
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labeled
06/18/09

@xay: I'm a white girl, but I know the fear of the switch. Worst memory: My mom making me go cut a switch from a tree in our back yard.

2nd worst: The bitch was deadly with a flyswatter.

Amazingly, I have grown to accept one simple and unpretty truth - sometimes respect is earned through fear.
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Tart of Darkness
06/18/09

@labeled: The belt. The thin, snappy belt. That was the worst physical punishment.

"I'm going to put you in foster care so I don't have to deal with you anymore" was worse than the belt.

I don't think I learned respect. I learned to fear and dissimulate and disassociate.
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YourScreenplaySucks
06/17/09

In reply to Lindsay Accuses Justin Of Cheating; ~~Billy~~ William Joel, Wife, Call It Quits
An anonymous source who supposedly worked for the Gosselins for six months and quit in the summer of 2008, told the National Enquirer that Kate Gosselin used to drink and beat the kids.

Then she would ransack their closets while screaming, "No wire hangers!!". Then she took 2 of them, fattened them up, and cooked them in a soup (there were originally 10 kids, but then the opportunity for the TV show came around and "10" doesn't rhyme with "Kate")
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lisas
06/17/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE ME THE RESPECT THAT I DESERVE?!?
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Tart of Darkness
06/18/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: So why does this concerned person go to the media a long time after this happened instead of doing the right thing and reporting her to DSS for child abuse and neglect?

PS It is not illegal to pound down a few glasses of wine just because you are a parent. Jon was there after all apparently sober and capable of reacting to any emergency that might come up. As was this mysterious household worker.

S-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g f-o-r t-h-e d-i-r-t. That's what I say.
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