Just so everyone knows what a loser I am, I checked the length of Paris's "tweet" and it's 135 characters over the limit. It must have been two tweets, if it was a tweet at all.
Yeah, I did indeed read that, get suspicious, open Twitter, copy and paste the text, make note of the number in red, and come back over to the Jezebel tab to report back what I'd found. That makes me the lamest person in the world.
"There wasn't sad or anything. This thing we were feeling... tears were streaming down my face."
I want this to be a song. NOW.
Also, plastic spoons and a bottle of wine a night? Meh and duh. She has eight goddamned children. Isn't that some kind of survival technique? At least, it would be for me.
The more these faux-spanking scandals come out the more I wonder if these people never had a fucking childhood. Getting spanked with a fucking spoon does not hurt. Screaming is a default reaction to spanking whether it hurts or not. I had cousins who endured half-hour spankathons with studded belts and are well-adjusted individuals. Buck the fuck up, seriously.
The New Kids on the Block have cancelled their Australian tour. Donnie Wahlberg wrote on his blog, "We are, in fact, in the middle of a worldwide recession and we just cannot make it work."
I would've replaced "worldwide recession" with "an ill-advised reunion of an ill-advised union" but I suppose we're all entitled to our own interpretations of reality.
@szuperremek: I'll buy it too, but I'm curious about how her voice will sound - it was completely shot on some of those studio demos she released last year.
I wonder why Eric's not coming back. Musically speaking, he's as much an "essence" of Hole as she is.
@clevernamehere: i used to get spanked with a large wooden spoon when i was a kid. I personally don't want to use corporal punishment with my kids, but I also don't think my parents abused me.
@clevernamehere: Man, if getting spanked with a plastic spoon is abuse, someone should've called DCF when I was growing up, having to pick out what belt I "wanted" to get my ass whooped with. Hot damn, people!
@Nun Shall Pass: At least you got a choice in belt. My dad used a huge, thick leather saddle strap. Although my mom did "let" me go choose my own switch off the willow tree.
Britain's Advertising Standards Authority has cleared Duffy's Diet Coke commercial in which she rides her bicycle through a supermarket even though 18 people complained that she was not wearing reflective clothing and her bicycle had no lights on it. [BBC]
what? she's riding her bike inside a supermarket, people! it's clearly, you know, not real.
@KiddyKat: Oh yeah, I think la chancla must be the most popular. All my friends and I, even the ones with super laid-back parents who never got mad, had anecdotes about our encounter with la chancla and, well, el chanclazo.
@frozenfresa: My mom was just reminiscing this weekend about how she used to carry a wooden spoon in her purse as a deterrent so I wouldn't act up in public. And getting the spoon was nothing compared to a switch.
An anonymous source who supposedly worked for the Gosselins for six months and quit in the summer of 2008, told the National Enquirer that Kate Gosselin used to drink and beat the kids.
Then she would ransack their closets while screaming, "No wire hangers!!". Then she took 2 of them, fattened them up, and cooked them in a soup (there were originally 10 kids, but then the opportunity for the TV show came around and "10" doesn't rhyme with "Kate")
@Your Screenplay Sucks: So why does this concerned person go to the media a long time after this happened instead of doing the right thing and reporting her to DSS for child abuse and neglect?
PS It is not illegal to pound down a few glasses of wine just because you are a parent. Jon was there after all apparently sober and capable of reacting to any emergency that might come up. As was this mysterious household worker.
S-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g f-o-r t-h-e d-i-r-t. That's what I say.
06/18/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It QuitsYeah, I did indeed read that, get suspicious, open Twitter, copy and paste the text, make note of the number in red, and come back over to the Jezebel tab to report back what I'd found. That makes me the lamest person in the world.
06/18/09
06/18/09
06/18/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It QuitsNo one. Else. SAID IT.
So I had to.
06/18/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It Quits"There wasn't sad or anything. This thing we were feeling... tears were streaming down my face."
I want this to be a song. NOW.
Also, plastic spoons and a bottle of wine a night? Meh and duh. She has eight goddamned children. Isn't that some kind of survival technique? At least, it would be for me.
06/18/09
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It Quits06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It Quits06/17/09
I still think it's odd creepy creepy odd that Kendra refers to Hef as her ex-boyfriend, given that she now has an actually virile fiance.
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It Quits06/17/09
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It Quits06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It Quits06/17/09
06/17/09
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It Quits06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It QuitsI would've replaced "worldwide recession" with "an ill-advised reunion of an ill-advised union" but I suppose we're all entitled to our own interpretations of reality.
06/18/09
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It QuitsNaturally I'll buy it, but I don't know how I feel about this..
06/17/09
I wonder why Eric's not coming back. Musically speaking, he's as much an "essence" of Hole as she is.
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It QuitsYou really can't see anything in the Lilo photo, but I'm still fascinated.
I'm not super surprised that Billy Joel and his younger-than-his daughter wife are divorcing. They don't seem to want the same things.
No matter what Scout and Tallulah say, it must be weird to see Daddy and Stepmommy in those photos.
The Kate spoon comment seems silly. I'm not pro-spanking, but 5 smacks with a spoon isn't abusive in my opinion.
06/17/09
06/17/09
06/17/09
06/18/09
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It Quitswhat? she's riding her bike inside a supermarket, people! it's clearly, you know, not real.
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It QuitsAny hispanitas out there live in fear of "el cucharon de palo"???
06/17/09
06/17/09
06/17/09
06/17/09
why did we have a plastic lobster?
why do we all have those oversized wooden spoons and forks?
06/17/09
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06/18/09
2nd worst: The bitch was deadly with a flyswatter.
Amazingly, I have grown to accept one simple and unpretty truth - sometimes respect is earned through fear.
06/18/09
"I'm going to put you in foster care so I don't have to deal with you anymore" was worse than the belt.
I don't think I learned respect. I learned to fear and dissimulate and disassociate.
06/17/09
BillyWilliam Joel, Wife, Call It QuitsThen she would ransack their closets while screaming, "No wire hangers!!". Then she took 2 of them, fattened them up, and cooked them in a soup (there were originally 10 kids, but then the opportunity for the TV show came around and "10" doesn't rhyme with "Kate")
06/17/09
06/18/09
PS It is not illegal to pound down a few glasses of wine just because you are a parent. Jon was there after all apparently sober and capable of reacting to any emergency that might come up. As was this mysterious household worker.
S-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g f-o-r t-h-e d-i-r-t. That's what I say.