• Marilyn Manson revealed in an interview that he and Evan Rachel Wood are back together. Evan — When a guy violently beats and murders your look-alike in a music video, that's a deal breaker.

• In an interview with the music site Metal Hammer, Manson volunteered: "I'm not afraid to be me... Sometimes you feel awkward being what you're best at, you feel like you have to be something new. But I think that a lot of people will agree that me being me at my best [is what] I need to be. I think that that really paid off because I'm back with Evan, that's kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that." ? [Metal Hammer]
• Rachel Uchitel, who initially denied that she had an affair with Tiger Woods, announced that she was holding a press conference today to "make a statement about [her] relationship with Tiger Woods," but then cancelled it at the last minute due to what her lawyer called "unforeseen circumstances." [Extra]
• Rachel Uchitel canceled the press conference after a night of phone calls between her team and Tiger Woods' representatives. Uchitel reportedly has hundreds of messages from their five-month relationship. [Radar Online]
• Some sources say Tiger Woods offered Rachel Uchitel money for her silence, but TMZ says "we have no knowledge one way or the other." [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' childhood friend, who is now the president of Tiger Woods Design, bought a plane ticket for Rachel Uchitel to go to Australia last month for a rendez-vous with Tiger. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs says that during one of her encounters with Tiger Woods he "told me he had done a workout and he was going to do another workout for legs... I said, 'For someone who works out a lot, you sure have small calves!' I remember him giving me the biggest death look. He told me he was very insecure about the size of his calves. He said, 'I can't grow calves.' And I was like, 'Okay, sorry!'" [Us]
• According to new audio tapes released by the Florida Highway Patrol, Tiger Woods was snoring when his neighbor, Jarius Lavar Adams, approached him after his car accident last week. Adams said Woods was bleeding a little from his lower lip but did not smell of booze. [TMZ]
• Another woman has come forward claiming she had an affair with Tiger Woods, bring the grand total to four. "Jenny" called the Bubba The Love Sponge radio show and claimed that she's been seeing him on and off for a year and can prove it because he has an identifiable mole on his left butt cheek. [Perez Hilton]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood was arrested in London last night on suspicion of assaulting his 21-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova and released on bail. His rep says: "I can confirm that there was an incident last night and that Ronnie Wood was arrested ... we have no further statement to make at this time." [TMZ]
• Ronnie Wood's 23-year marriage to Jo Wood collapsed after he began dating Ivanova. Their divorce was finalized last month. [AP]
• Sources say Ronnie Wood slapped Ekaterina Ivanova to the ground, then pulled her hair outside a restaurant at 11:30 pm and a restaurant worker called the police. An eyewitness says: "I think they were arguing about her not wanting to go home. He hit her and she was screaming that she didn't want to go with him." [The Mirror]
• It looks like Gwyneth Paltrow will sing again in her new film. She's playing a fallen country-western singer in the new film Love Don't Let Me Down, which is being produced by Tobey Maguire and also stars Tim McGraw and Leighton Meester. [Perez HIlton]
• Johnny Depp is in talks to star as Pancho Villa in the biopic Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Six Fingers. [Variety]
• Roman Polanski has been moved from jail to an undisclosed location for "security reasons and personal protection" according to Swiss officials, but is still expected to be taken to his chalet in Gstaad tomorrow. [AP]
• A judge has dismissed Jordan's Scott's copyright infringement claim against Stephenie Meyer because he says Breaking Dawn and Scott's 2006 vampire novel The Nocturne have little in common and the "characters in the two works are vastly different." [Publishers Weekly]
• Hayden Panettierre, who is 20, was spotted carrying a case of Coors Light into her friend's house. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez says she has a "bruised bone" from slipping during her performance at the AMAs. She told Ellen DeGeneres, "What happened was one of the dancers' backs was slippery from sweat and lights and everything. We never bargained for that because they always had T-shirts on in rehearsal. So they were barebacked, didn't have shirts on for the performance, and when I stepped on their backs my feet got wet. So when I landed. it just slipped from under me." [People]
• Nas was arrested for DUI near his home in Georgia in September. [TMZ]
• Nas' DUI case was dismissed because there wasn't enough evidence. Though he admitted to the police that he'd been smoking pot, the drug test "came back negative for drugs, including marijuana." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen wrote on her blog, "I've had laryngitis and bronchitis for about two months and I've just been doing so many gigs and just not resting. I have been to an ear, nose, and throat specialist a few times and they stuck a big camera down my throat. It's not very nice." [Daily Star]
• The National Board of Review's 2009 awards were announced today. Up In The Air was named Best Film, Clint Eastwood won Best Director for Invictus. Precious was not on their list of the year's 10 best films. [The Wrap]
• Julianne Hough may be dating Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill. An eyewitness reports from a bar in Nashville: "They were very affectionate, just hanging out at the table. They stayed for about an hour and enjoyed karaoke. None of them sang, but they just hung with their group. Only a few people noticed she was even there. They didn't make a spectacle of it." [Perez Hilton]
• Mark Wahlberg says there are two seasons left of Entourage on HBO then, "We'll see, there could be more. But then, a movie." [Showbiz 411]
• MTV renewed The Hills for a sixth season... but is anyone still watching? [Perez Hilton]
• Will Smith has put production of Hancock 2 on hold to "spend more time with his family." [Perez Hilton]
• GLAAD released a statement supporting ABC's decision to ban Adam Lambert from Jimmy Kimmel Live and the network's New Year's Eve special. GLAAD says Lambert's performance at the AMA differed "greatly" from rehearsals and "It would appear that the kiss between Adam Lambert and his keyboardist did not factor into ABC's decision ... ABC has a history of positive gay and transgender inclusion that includes featuring kisses between gay and lesbian couples on-air." [TMZ]
• Mick Hucknall of Simply Red is suing his neighbor over the rights to hunt deer, ducks and other birds at their rival game lodges in Ireland. [AP]
• Cynthia Nixon said of the failure of the New York senate to pass a marriage equity bill, "The fight for justice is always long and hard, and while this vote was of course extremely disappointing, we now know with certainty who our friends are and who our enemies are. And, trust me, we won't forget it at election time. It's really a terrible shame that many of our legislators could not bring themselves to support a simple matter of fairness and equality, and have betrayed the majority of New Yorkers who believe same-sex marriage should be legalized." [Advocate]
• Penelope Cruz says, "The musical number [in Nine] had to be sexy... and thinking about the Pink Panther would help get me in the mood ... When I was climbing the ropes to the ceiling, all I could think about was the Pink Panther." [People]
• Penelope Cruz says her relationship with Pedro Almodóvar, with whom she has made four films, has "been growing and evolving gradually. Right now, we get to the set, we look at each other, and I know if he slept the night before, if he's in a bad mood or in a good mood. He is the same with me-he looks at me and he knows what I am thinking. So that makes it easier. But at the same time, he's a very big presence, so I don't get less nervous when I'm working with him now because we are friends-I get maybe even more nervous because I'm always worried about disappointing him." [Interview Magazine]
• Peter Jackson says of his new film The Lovely Bones getting mixed reviews, "The film is a film that we're very proud of, and it's not a film that everyone likes, but I don't know what film is. You know, there's no such thing as perfection; you can't make a film that everybody in the world is going to like, so it just represents their view. The film is about a teenage girl - in some respects, we made it for teenagers." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Last night, one of the four buses in Miley Cyrus' tour caravan swerved off the road in Virginia and crashed. The driver was killed, and one other person was injured.

• It's unclear if the driver died in the crash, or if he died at the wheel, causing the accident. Miley's personal bus was not involved in the accident and the concert they were heading to in North Carolina is still on. [TMZ, TMZ]
• This statement was posted on Miley Cyrus' website: "We are deeply saddened by the loss of Bill 'Uncle Bill' Douglas... Members of our tour are like members of our family. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family in the midst of this tragedy. He will truly be missed." [People]
• A judge threw out a case filed by an Asian woman named Lucie Kim on behalf of Asian-Americans in L.A. against Miley Cyrus for making squinty eyes in a photo. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan claims he has a contract that could be the "smoking gun" in TLC's case against Jon Gosselin. Lohan says it's a contract between himself, Gosselin, Mike Heller (the son of Jon's lawyer) and Hailey Glassman, which led to Jon being paid for outside appearances that violated his TLC deal, even though it's unsigned. [Radar Online]
• The good news: The final episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 will air on Monday. Jon and Kate will take the kids on separate outings, and "individually, Jon and Kate reflect on what the past has meant and what the future might hold." The bad news: A TLC spokeswoman says, "We are focusing on the launch of Kate's new series in early spring." [Us]
• In yet another creditor's claim, against Michael Jackson's estate, a company called Video & Audio Center said it is owed $128,482 for installing the TV system at Neverland Ranch. [TMZ]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie is home resting after being hospitalized with pneumonia. "So I stepped off the plane after a month out of the country, and basically went straight to the hospital for the week," he wrote on his website. "But don't worry all is well and we are home with no problems." [People]
• Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib has been sentenced to 45 days in jail and 36 months probation after pleading guilty to leaving the scene of an accident. [TMZ]
• Flight attendant Lisa Wilson is suing Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony because she claims their "personal protection dog" "growled and lunged at her," and "headbutted her leg and she fell and seriously injured her back." Wilson claims the dog was "obviously dangerous" and should have been sent to counseling. [Us]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz's son Bronx Mowgli turned one today. Ashlee Tweeted yesterday: "BX's 1st bday tomorrow!" she wrote. "My angel is going to be a year!! The greatest year of my life." Pete Tweeted: "Happy birthday bx. you dont have twitter and cant read this. Thanks to all my friends that recorded lullabies. cant believe its been a year." [Us]
• Lily Allen, who urged the British government to crack down on illegal file sharing, said in a radio interview, "If someone comes up with a burnt copy of my CD and offers it to you for £4 I haven't a problem with that as long as the person buying it places some kind of value on my music." [Daily Express]
• Carrie Prejean's brother Billy Arnone talked to Radar Online about her sex tapes and said, "If they were put in front of me I'd probably watch it." [Radar Online]
• In other sketchy family member news, Paris Hilton's mom revealed that her daughter wanted to get breast implants. Kathy Hilton said, "At one point [Paris] was like 'I wanna do this and that, I'm so flat!' but then all of a sudden she was like 'I love it. I don't care. I love it.' I'm proud of that; I think that's really nice." [Daily Express]
• Wesley Snipes' is appealing an "unreasonable" three-year prison sentence. He was convicted last year of failing to file his income tax returns for three years, but his lawyers argued today that he should have been granted a hearing to decide whether the trial should have been in New York instead of Florida. During the trial, Snipes explained that he's an idealistic artist "unschooled in the science of law and finance." [AP]
• The IRS issued a tax lien against Joe Francis for about $34,000,000 and now he's asking a judge to order the agency to unfreeze his money because he's on the brink of bankruptcy. [TMZ]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says his client won't agree voluntarily to being extradited to the U.S. "We also maintain that Mr Polanski did not face a fair trial in Los Angeles," he said. "For all these reasons, among others, his position remains unchanged: he will not accept being extradited to the United States." [Reuters]
• On a radio show Rihanna said of her relationship with Chris Brown, "There are a lot of ... places that we've been to together, music, different things that come up that are reminders of your ex... When [his music] comes on the radio, I don't ... turn it off. I like his music... I've gotten over it, but there are definitely constant reminders ... songs that were our favorite songs, or hit songs." [People]
• Halle Berry, who has experienced domestic abuse herself, says of Rihanna, "Any time a woman frees herself from that kind of bondage and that kind of situation I'm proud." [Access Hollywood]
• Ha. In this video from four yeas ago Taylor Lautner says, "My dad says I can't date until I'm 28, but I'll have to negotiate that one down a little." [People]
• The Roman Catholic Church is bashing Twilight. A Vatican official said, "The theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that as ever is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element. It is once again that age-old trick or ideal formula of using extremes to make an impact at the box office. This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern." [Contact Music]
• New Moon made $26.3 million during midnight showings at North American box offices last night, breaking the record set by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. [Reuters]
• Susan Boyle said she was "shocked" when she lost America's Got Talent: "Sure, I mean, I am thrilled for Diversity; they deserved it. But I was working so hard, lost in the midst of all the excitement and yes, I felt the dream may be over after not picking up the winner's prize. Who would not?" [CBS News]
• Dave Navarro says he's a fan of his ex-wife Carmen Electra's girl-on-girl strip/sex tape. [TMZ]
• "You can't make music as a famous person," says John Mayer. "Famous people make really bad records – so I make music as a musician. I've read people say I was the shit, and I've read people say I am shit. I don't have to prove anything any more – all I have to do is play. Now my motivation is not so that people know my name, it's not so I can make money, it's not so I can meet girls – my motivation is to prove to people that you can buck the trend: that it's not an absolute that if you can be really successful, then you're gonna start sucking." [The Guardian]
• Yesterday, Rex Lee, who plays Lloyd on Entourage said crew members "occasionally" make fun of his ethnicity and homosexuality on set. The show's creator Doug Ellin says he's "shocked and horrified" and "will be speaking to everybody before we start filming again in March. It's not something condoned or acceptable." [TMZ]
• We can't handle any more Real Housewives drama, but if you want to know about the "infidelity, booze brawls, computer hacking," and physical threats" involved in new Orange County cast member Alexis Bellino's divorce read on: [Star]
• Derek Hough says his sister Julianne Hough broke up with Chuck Wicks because, "She's 21 years old and her career is skyrocketing right now and it's tough to sustain a relationship, especially with somebody who's so much older than her." [People]
• Ashley Jensen, who recently became a mother, said: "To be honest, I'm stumbling from day to day at the moment. Just getting to grips with feeding and not sleeping. It's all about routine, and it's very all-consuming. I had to feed him before I came out, which is why I was a little bit late, even though he wasn't really due a feed. And now I'm worried about whether my breasts are going to start lactating! You can't be away from him for too long. One thing it has given me is a real respect for womankind. Giving birth is amazing, and such a great leveller. It doesn't matter who you are – whether you're Mrs Beverly Hills with your Botox, or someone living in a caravan in Idaho. You both go through that." [The Independent]
• "I think for me the most satisfying thing is going out with my first headlining tour and having every show sell out. That was something that I never dreamed would be so quick to happen. Putting Madison Square Garden on sale and having it be sold out in 59 seconds. Like I can't believe that. I'm still completely blown away by that." — Taylor Swift [CNN]
• Eva Mendes says she was excited to work on Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, "Because Werner Herzog has been on my hit list for a while. I think he's a cinematic god and I think he's unparalleled. I think he's so prolific and he's such an iconoclast-you know, he's it. Working with him was a dream come true. I know that [Nicholas Cage] felt similarly. Obviously, I worked with Nic on Ghost Rider-a big popcorn movie-which is nothing like this. But I got to know Nic and the way he works and I really just like him as a person so I knew his personality and I thought, "Oh gosh, him and Werner Herzog together? They're going to kill it." [Maxim]
• Gayle King onOprah Winfrey ending her show: "I think that Oprah always makes the best decision for herself. I really do. And I have a feeling she will come up with some things to do. She has a very full life … We don't need to worry about her filling her time, I promise you that! Life is good for her." [People]

• Carrie Prejean admitted to making a sex tape, but there are actually eight tapes and 30 photos. Radar Online reports: "On one tape Carrie is wearing just a flowing white blouse as she touches her body in an alluring manner."

• Most of the pictures are topless and Prejean took them herself in a mirror. In others she's totally nude. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin's bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC's lawsuit against Jon. This could be very bad news for Jon if he wants to maintain custody of his kids. His former lover/babysitter Stephanie Santoro claims, "Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!" Uh, isn't that usually how it works? [National Enquirer]
• TLC's lawyers are also asking the court for permission to serve Stephanie Santoro with a subpoena. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's countersuit against TLC claims the network has caused him "to suffer harm to his reputation." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's rep says the National Enquirer's claim that Jon made a sex tape and did cocaine are, "truly false... It's sad that people are picking this up." [Us]
• Dina Lohan says Michael Lohan should be thrown in jail for releasing tapes of their phone calls because she has a protection order against him that says he can't call her until 2011. "It's bullshit," says Michael. "I called the house to talk to the kids and she would get on the phone and tell me all this stuff. I couldn't control that. I have all the tapes to prove it." Just to make things worse, he added that Dina would sometimes pick up the phone clearly intoxicated and vent to him about her boyfriend and other problems in her life. [Radar Online]
• Though Rosie O'Donnell only admitted that she and her wife Kelli Carpenter are having relationship problems, today on her Sirius XM radio show she said Kelli actually moved out two years ago. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson's former manager Dr. Tohme Tohme filed a creditor's claim against Jackson's estate yesterday, saying Michael promised him $2.3 million if he could find a company to save Neverland Ranch from foreclosure last year. [TMZ]
• BREAKING: Jennifer Aniston, who endorses SmartWater, was spotted holding a bottle of Arrowhead water while on vacation in Mexico. [TMZ]
• The former girlfriend of Edis Kayalar, the man accused of trying to blackmail Cindy Crawford, tried to get a restraining order against him. She claimed in a declaration that he, "He asked me to sleep with him at a friend's house, and when I refused he slapped me across my face and punched me 6-7 time (sic) all over body." She never showed up in court so the judge took no action. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and the L.A. Lakers are being sued by the makers of giant monitors they used during their concerts and events that the company says were patented. [TMZ]
• The company that chartered the plane carrying DJ AM that crashed in South Carolina, along with Goodyear Tire, Learjet, and the estates of the two pilots who died, are being sued for wrongful death because, "the crash ultimately caused Adam Goldstein's death." The suit claims DJ AM was forced to take various drugs because of the injuries he suffered. [TMZ]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz says, "My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady." [Us]
• Nicholas Cage's home was auctioned yesterday and today, movers cleaned it out, removing carpets, boxes, and a giant stained glass window. [TMZ]
• Brandy won't be subjected to a civil trial for her December 2006 car crash. She just settled with the last plaintiffs, the parents of the woman who died in the accident. [TMZ]
• Police noticed Paris Hilton's gate was left open and went up to the house to make sure everything was OK, since the house was recently burglarized. [TMZ]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have split up. "We're both just really, really busy with our careers, and we spend a lot of time apart from each other – so we're just taking a little break right now," said Hough. [People]
• Hough said there's no heartache. "It's a good thing for us right now," she said. [Us]
• Russell Brand says he's not sorry for leaving lewd messages on actor Andrew Sachs' answering machine last year. "I would've done nothing differently. I apologise for the thing I did wrong to the person I did it to but the whole subsequent scandal was funny, it is funny I think. It's just rhubarb and guff," he says. [The Mirror]
• Stephanie Pratt pled not guilty to DUI today and her lawyer said she'll check into rehab. [TMZ]
• NeNe Leakes says she and Kim Zolciak are "Trying to be peaceful with each other... Kim and I have an up-and-down relationship. Don't be surprised if we have a falling out again. That's just how we are." [People]
• Amanda Peet says she'd like to work with her 2012 co-star John Cusack again in a romantic comedy. "He's brilliant, he's just a brilliant actor, so he can do anything," Peet said, "but I do feel like it would be fun if we could do something that's more comedic since we both love that." [CBS News]
• In Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's new book they say Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt really know how to manipulate the media, but they say they don't want to annoy Brangelina. "We wouldn't want to piss them off. She might steal Spencer-you know, because she steals people's husbands!" says Heidi, "But seriously, we'd love to sit down and discuss fame with them. Consider this your formal invitation, Brangelina. Let's hang out sometime. We'll be SpeidiLina!" [Playboy]
• Speidi also told Playboy that in 2010 they plan to "adopt an African baby, date Vince Vaughn, shave our heads, pretend Spencer is trapped in a balloon and have octuplets." [Us]

• Dina Lohan is pissed that Michael Lohan keeps leaking recordings of Dina and Lindsay's phone calls to him. "The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable," she says. And:

"My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again, and he clearly blew that chance!" And: "I have had a criminal order of protection from the domestic violence sector since 2005. He was not supposed to even be harassing me by phone." Lastly, if you're still listening: "My heart is breaking for my children that he could do this. He has no visitation anymore and is six months behind in child support. The authorities have been alerted!" [E!]

• Hey, guess what? Michael Lohan has released another recording of a phone conversation between himself and Dina Lohan. She blames him for Lindsay cutting herself, and says: "It's bad." And Dina believes that "something's gonna happen" and it'll be all Michael's fault. [Radar Online]
• Rosie O'Donnell and Megan Fox are afraid of Angelina Jolie. Kristen Stewart says she doesn't want to be like Angelina Jolie. This column asks, Is Hollywood turning on Angelina Jolie? Eh, do you think she gives a shit? [MSNBC Scoop]
• This daytime noir Donnie Darko-esque promo for James Franco on General Hospital is kind of fucking awesome. "Anyone can die at anytime!" [NY Magazine]
• Miss J says of his 7-year-old son: "He insists on wearing nice shoes. I think somehow my fashion genes must have slipped in there." [Us Magazine]
• Kate Hudson is "pushing" A-Rod to elope. Because that's what women do! [Gatecrasher]
• Rihanna spent more than $50,000 to fly her family to New York from Barbados for the Glamour Awards. [Page Six]
• You can watch Rihanna's speech from the Glamour Woman of the Year Awards at the link. A snippet: "Maya Angelou, I love you, but you make this terribly difficult for me." [YouTube]
• LOL headline of the day, via Russell Brand: "Katy Can't Do Your Show… She's Doing Me Instead." [The Sun]
• Kristen Stewart on those who ask whether she and Rob are an item: "The only way that I'm able to stay sane is to protect myself, and like, I know that it doesn't matter how you answer a question, it's going to tip. Someone's going to say, 'She's totally with him,' or, 'No, I don't think she is,' so it's sort of like, I don't care. You just have to seriously be like, have it, have it all. Take my, you know what I mean, just like, you want my shoes? Here you go, what size do you wear?" [ET]
• The 40-year-old women following Zac Efron around were just trying to get his picture for their daughters. No, really. [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson made some comments about her adopted Rwandan son had been subjected to racism at the University of Exeter, and now the Culture Secretary has said: "Miss Thompson is a great actress, but her comments about Exeter… are insulting… Any incidence of racism is one too many, but Exeter comes top or near top in every survey of places for friendliness and quality of life." [Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone was at a fancy Madison Avenue salon and used a private room; Queen Noor of Jordan was also there to get her hair done, but sat in the main area with the plebes. [Page Six]
• The David Letterman blackmail case is "all out war." [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's funeral bills are in. Total cost: $855,730.31. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson, called here "the only Jackson who was flush with cash," fronted $49,000 for Michael Jackson's funeral. She'll be reimbursed via his estate, which will also pay the remaining balance. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson, who was trying to object to Michael Jackson's will and executors, has been shut down by a judge. [TMZ]
• An Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson sold for $812,000 in an auction last night. [NY Post]
• "Winona Ryder and Barry Pepper have been cast to star in the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story." It's the true story of the co-founder of Al-Anon and her alcoholic husband, who lived the high life in the 1920s but a downfall by the 50s. [Variety]
• Playgirl wanted to shoot Levi Johnston in the penthouse of a certain downtown hotel but didn't have enough cash to pay the fee. [Page Six]
• Dominique Swain, who once posed for PETA, has reportedly been "caught" dumping unvaccinated puppies at an animal shelter. [ONTD, Fox 411]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place is a desperate attempt to get people to care. Is it working on you? Then check out this clip from the show in which Heather — playing Amanda — says, "When I hired you to give this place a makeover, I didn't mean smear it with lipstick and turn it into a five-dollar hooker." [People]
• Celine Dion is adding a "pool complex" to her home in Jupiter Island, Florida — with "two giant pools, waterslides and a lazy river, much like an amusement park." One neighbor complains: "Distasteful is what it looks like - the whole thing sounds like a Michael Jackson fairyland to me." [MSNBC Scoop via Life & Style]
• Some dude is suing Bon Jovi, Time Warner and Major League Baseball for $400 billion, yeah, BILLION, dollars. He claims that he wrote an ode to the Boston Red Sox entitled, "(Man I Really) Love this Team." During the 2007 playoffs, Bon Jovi released a song, "I Love This Town," and the guy took the case to court. One judge dismissed it, but the guy is appealing. [Reuters]
• George Lopez's new late night talk show debuted with strong ratings. Did anyone watch? I found it only mildly funny, with too many race jokes. But I didn't watch the whole thing. [Reuters]
• Steven Tyler supposedly quit Aerosmith, but last night he showed up at an NYC club for Joe Perry's show, announced he wasn't leaving Aerosmith, and joined in on "Walk This Way." My friend Matt says: "If anyone can save the future of Aerosmith by settling the feud between Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, it's got to be Tyler Perry." [Roger Friedman's 411.com] 
• Shakira hugged and 11-year-old fan and it is news. [Page Six]
• Sir Ian McKellan mocked Jude Law at a charity event; Jude swore, "I go home religiously every night after Hamlet." Sir Ian joked, "I guess the night I saw you, you went home via [popular NYC nightclub] the Box." [La Dolce Musto]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have broken up. [People]
• "A rare collection of Beatles autographs and photographs, given to a 14-year-old who traipsed across Salisbury plain in the rain to catch a glimpse of her heroes on the set of Help!, sold for £2,200 at auction in Berkshire yesterday." [Guardian]
• Rod Stewart, father of seven, is trying to have another baby with wife Penny Lancaster. Forever young? [People]
• Whatshername will be on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here but arrive late and earn five times more cash than other contestants. [The Sun]
• "I think there's a lot of persuasive and powerful people around Obama. For a president to make his own decisions, I think that's a rarity. Even someone who we think of as our guy — this is a guy with integrity, a guy who cares, for the first time in a long time — in the Oval Office, even with him we don't really know who's pulling the strings. I think of every president as being a marionette. Whether he's any different, I don't know. Certainly his military advisers all want him to prosecute this war to the end, just as they did in Vietnam with LBJ. It's just too depressing, I think we're going to have to hit the streets. Obama has the chance of becoming JFK or LBJ. I think JFK was one of our last great presidents, although I thought Carter was pretty great too. LBJ could have been a great president if he hadn't gotten bogged down in war, but that was quite a war to get bogged down in. Notwithstanding the fact that the war was wrong and they were talking about the Red Scare and the domino effect, if you go and read the Pentagon Papers they were also talking about rubber, tin and oil. They killed two and a half million people. What was it all for? In Korea they killed four and a half million. Like, we're liberating these people?" — Woody Harrelson plays a soldier in his intense new film The Messenger and, at the link, has lots of thoughts about war, death, the military and President Obama. [Salon]
• "They got in trouble because my children are riding their dirt bikes through the whole trailer park, going crazy, doing flips — and everyone's concerned for their safety. And mom's like, 'Oh, they've been riding the whole weekend, they're having a blast!' I was like, 'They're not allowed to ride their dirt bikes in the trailer park!' They terrorize the neighborhood the whole time." — Pamela Anderson's sons — 13 and 11 — are tiny terrors. [Contact Music]
• "I don't have to play scenes with actors standing on buckets." — Sigourney Weaver, 6 feet tall, says that she doesn't believe her height has ever intimidated leading men. [Telegraph]
• "I had a great time with Hef and the girls when they came to see Peepshow and hang out in Vegas.  I don't watch the other episodes though, because it kind of makes me mad. The girls need to focus on what makes them unique and not doing the same things Bridget, Kendra and I have already done on the show.  Even camping in the backyard was an idea I had for an episode that we never got around to shooting.  And guess what they just showed? The girls camping in the backyard.  I don't want to look behind, I want to look forward." — Holly Madison is annoyed by the new Girls Next Door. [Fox 411]
• "I don't know that [Oprah] and Gayle are necessarily doing each other, but I think they are the emotional equivalent of.. [a gay couple]. When they did that road trip, that's as gay as it gets, and I don't mean it to be an insult, either. I'm just saying, listen, if you ask me, that's the couple." — Rosie O'Donnell. [ONTD via Times Of The Internet]
• "These jeans are a few days old, but the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can't stand the air around me. I don't know, my personal hygiene - it's so disgusting! Really it's just that I have very few clothes that I like and I'm travelling all the time, so I can't really get any more." — we get it, Robert Pattinson, you're filthy. [MSNBC via New! magazine]
• "I love clothes, and fashion is a great art form. Being a woman and my femininity are very important to me. But with my work I have to check my preferences at the door and personify the character I am playing as best I can. Your character isn't who you are. That's the great thing about my job. I get to step into somebody else's shoes – whether that's a pair of flat brogues or some stilettos." — Hilary Swank. [Daily Mail]
• "I'd love to have kids… But I'm much to young to get married." — Shakira. [Gatecrasher]
• "The funny thing is that I was very open and honest about [my bisexuality] from the very beginning, and everyone was acting like it was some new trend. Go back four or five years, people, and you'll see the same answer. I've been very honest with him from the get-go. I think women are beautiful. I've had a lot of fun with women, and I'm not ashamed of it. The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man. But just because I enjoy women doesn't mean I'm allowed to have affairs in my relationship. I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it's with girls, so there is a rule there." — Fergie. [Us Magazine via The Advocate, Page Six]
• "Lady Gaga stole your act." — President Obama to Cyndi Lauper. [La Dolce Musto]

Jennifer Lopez, in L.A., shows off the night's dress-code: tight, shiny and black.


Kesha, in London, is either sullen or really taking the occasion seriously. I'm going with sullen.


Everyone did some homage to MJ: Judith Hill's, in L.A., was one of the more literal. And it always works!


Mel B, in London, was all class.


Rosie Perez stands up to NYC's rainy chill with a power jacket.


Sherri Shepherd took a...cozier approach.


Monique Coleman rocked a popular L.A. choice: skintight leather.


Julianne Hough shows off another: the corset.


Nikki Blonsky, in NYC, matches her bag to her belt. Somewhere, both Michael and my grandma are smiling.


Paris Hilton, in L.A. of course, seems to have confused "Michael Jackson circa '92" with "Liz Hurley circa '92."


London.


Kind of love that, now that everyone else is in leather, Katy Perry does demure, deco-inflected lace!


Paula Abdul, in L.A., is a lone spot of color.


Vivica A. Fox, in L.A., treats the event with respect. The sexy kind.


Not sure what aspect of MJ's oeuvre Rosanna Arquette, in L.A., is referencing...


Or, for that matter, NYC's Carol Alt.


The brothers Jackson, in L.A.

[Images via Getty]

• Jon Gosselin has been hanging out in the Hamptons with Star reporter Kate Major. At the home of Michael Lohan. "Jon and her are good friends," Lindsay's dad says. [E!, People]

• Jon Gosselin, Kate Major, Michael Lohan and Real Housewives Jill Zarin had dinner together. Margaret sent me an email which read: "Ok, my head just exploded. We've now tied together RHONY, the Gosselins, AND Michael Lohan? I really hope Blanket isn't the 9th Gosselin kid." [Us Magazine]
• More on Gosselin and Zarin here. [People]
• Oh no. No. Buckingham Palace requested a copy of Brüno. The Queen is going to watch Brüno. Oh no. [Telegraph]
• "Brüno star Sacha Baron Cohen gets death threats from Islamic terrorists." Something about calling Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden a "dirty wizard or a homeless Santa." [Telegraph]
• Mischa Barton's rep says she is "making improvements." [UPI]
• Mischa didn't make the cover of any of the celeb weeklies, but her rep says they've been calling and emailing. [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan's Labor Pains got half as many viewers as The Parent Trap did on a different cable channel exactly a week before. [NY Daily News]
• Jude Law accidentally hit a female photographer when surrounded by paparazzi but apologized and calls the accusations that he attacked her "nonsense." [Independent]
• Comb out the weavehive: Amy Winehouse will have to go on trial for assaulting a woman at a charity ball last September. [Mirror]
• Oh wait! She already went to court! They're saying Amy used "deliberate and unjustifiable violence." [Daily Express, Telegraph]
• There was a "media scrum" at the courthouse as Amy Winehouse arrived. [Mirror]
• Last night Kelis was in labor and Nas went to the hospital; he was turned away because he was too drunk. He'd performed earlier in the evening and been downing champagne since. [TMZ]
• Kelis had a boy! His name is Knight Jones. She Tweeted: "I was in labor for 3 of the longest most painful days of my life. I don't understand when women say they don't remember giving birth." She added: "I will remember for the rest of my life. He's kinda perfect btw :)" [Rap Radar]
• Want to know more about Michael Jackson's secret son and secret moms and all kinds of secrets? Click the link. Or ask Liz Taylor. "The one woman who knows everything there is to know about Michael Jackson and where his children came from is Elizabeth Taylor," a source spills. "Elizabeth Taylor introduced Michael to the mother." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Will Michael's kids be raised by their Aunt Rebbie? [TMZ]
• The Jackson investigation is focusing on manslaughter. And documents have been seized from Dr. Conrad Murray's office. [TMZ]
• AEG has filed legal papers asking to be part of the Jackson probate hearing on August 3. [TMZ]
• Well this is not surprising: Security breeches in connection with Jackson's death certificate. Apparently it's been "improperly accessed," like, 300 times. Sigh. [E!]
• Jackson rehearsal footage for the "This is It" concerts could be spliced together into a movie to hit in theaters in October. Quick. [NY Daily News]
• Jermaine Jackson on SECRET NORWEGIAN LOVE CHILD Omer: "If Omer's his son, he's his son. We won't deny it. We are going to give him the same love and care that we give Prince and Paris and Blanket." [Daily Mail]
• Meredith Vieira says of Susan Boyle: "She's figuring it out. I think she's watched very carefully – she said she has a good team around her to help her put it in perspective." [People]
• The first song to be released as a single by Boyle has yet to be chosen. [BBC News]
• Gotta love this quote from this Tracy Morgan interview: "Tina Fey is down like four flat tires. I love her. That's my girl, Tina Fey-Fey. She's the coolest. That's my sister from another mother with a different color." [USA Today]
• Writers who want to get a job with the new Wanda Sykes Show have to do a whole lot of writing — for free — as a test. The "packet requirements" — which you can see at the link — are lengthy. Really really involved. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Julianne Hough got an Emmy nomination for her choreography, is set to star with Chace Crawford in Footloose and is in love with fellow country singer Chuck Wicks. And she just turned 21 on Monday. [USA Today]
• John Oates of Hall & Oates has a new cartoon, J-stache, the star of which is his famous mustache. "Oates is portrayed as a modern-day family man and finds himself enticed back to the rock star life by his mustache, which is voiced by comedian Dave Attell." [Reuters]
• In a "People of Today" list which includes hobbies, we discover that David Beckham enjoys wine tasting; John Cleese spends most of his leisure time indulging in gluttony and sloth. [Telegraph]
• Jay-Z will replace the Beastie Boys a the All Points West festival in Jersey City. The Beastie Boys had to cancel when MCA revealed he had throat cancer. [NY Times]
• Wendy Williams has decided to quit her longtime day job as a radio personality; she will work on her TV show full-time. [Black Voices]
• Javier Bardem has turned down a role in Oliver Stone's Wall Street sequel. [NY Times]
• Megan Fox has turned down a role in a James Bond film. She'd rather be a major player and not just a pretty face, or something. Slumdog star Freda Pinto also turned down the role. [Gatecrasher]
• Gossip Girl gossip: Are Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr on the rocks? [Page Six]
• The Whitney Houston comeback campaign is getting in full swing. [Page Six]
• We knew this, right? The Notebook, the musical? [NY Daily News]
• "'Do you still love Daddy?': Katie Price reveals the tough questions she's getting from her children in wake of split" [Daily Mail]
• "My five-year experience proved to me that I could not trust any answer that was given [about my character, George]." — T.R. Knight, on why he left Grey's Anatomy. More at the link. [NY Daily News]
• "I suppose you can put him in the same category as the Dr. Phils and these kinds of characters of the world. Thank God, he doesn't have a television show. He's become quite well known, quite quoted, popular, sells lots and lots of books. We meet him at a point of his own personal crisis and tragedy, and the film is about can he a) help himself and b) help any of his patients. But he's certainly far more screwed up than most of his patients, as it turns out." — Kevin Spacey, on his character in the new film Shrink. [Salon]
• "We based it off this movie that we were really into from the 80s called Lost Boys, about vampires and we just stole the whole concept, kids taking over this theme park and doing what they want with it and that's the whole atmosphere of the video, and it definitely came out perfectly. It's our favourite music video we've ever shot, it was wonderful, we were so happy with the outcome." — Trace Cyrus of the Band Metro Station, whose sister, Miley Cyrus, appears in the new video. [Mirror]
• "You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic. I try to stay away from the reality shows. I don't get anything out of Kim Kardashian and her family and nothing out of Kendra. When I watch television, I got to walk away with new type of knowledge. I get none of that from Kendra [Wilkinson] and Hugh Hefner and his girlfriends. I'm not a ninth grader who gets enticed by the female anatomy like that!" — Tracy Morgan. [People]
• "I did hard drugs. I never name them because it gets too sensational, but you can imagine. It was hard. All of my life lessons were very short but very intense. When I was a teenager, I smoked tons of pot. And my relationship to chemicals was very specifically tied to my inability to connect with people. It's almost as if the drugs-disconnection-helped me connect. It doesn't make sense. But people thought I was on drugs when I wasn't on drugs, because I guess I've always been a strange bird. I wasn't fun on drugs, so I quit at 22. … I, Juliette, believe in aliens. I don't know any other Scientologists who do. I also believe in fairies, you know, the real ones that live in the forest. Like most Scientologists, I'm really antidrug, especially in our anaesthetized, consumerist culture. The idea of taking a pill when you're unhappy or uneven to even out, to consume, to be perfect little robots-it all fucking relates. I think it's a really radical thing to be present, to own your shit-your lust, your anger, your joy, your fear. That's hard, but in the long run, it's the better road to take." — Juliette Lewis. (Also click to see her dressed as Bettie Page.) [BlackBook]
• "Byron said the only difference between the English and Turks was the English spent all their time whoring and drinking, while the Turks preferred sodomy and sherbet. I'm looking forward to a bit of sodomy and sherbet myself.…Sorry granny, sorry mum. "I'd better say sorry. My grandmother, who is aged 99, might be sitting in front of the television, swallowing her false teeth." — Rupert Everett. [The Sun]
• "Pretty girls, lose the attitude. Who needs it? Life's too short. You're not a brain surgeon. In Los Angeles and New York, where there's definitely a high concentration of beautiful women… A lot of them take themselves way too seriously. Their beauty feels like it's become a weapon. There's nothing more attractive to a guy than a beautiful woman who has her defenses down… Well, maybe not that. That sounds animalistic, like you're on the prowl. [What's alluring is] a beautiful woman who seems unaware of it." —Gerard Butler. [LA Times]
• "To be honest, I think I have chemistry with everybody." — Gerard Butler. [LA Times]
• "It's probably okay for me to say this now, but my Thirteen character was completely, 100% me at that age. That's why I did it. I had never seen something that honest being done for teenagers and their parents, that wasn't some terrible educational film. It was like Requiem for a Dream, but with teenagers: everything about it just rang true with me… It made me laugh so hard when people were like, 'Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson? She's so squeaky clean!' I was like, 'I was cutting myself on camera at the age of 14 and making out with chicks!'" — Evan Rachel Wood. [BlackBook]

• Though Kate Gosselin filed for divorce from Jon on Monday, the filing does not contain custody information at this time. Will Kate ask for primary custody? How much time will Jon get? [Star Magazine]

• By the by, those Crooked Houses Jon & Kate's 8 play in? $7,000 a piece. [ABC News]
• Kate Gosselin is on People magazine, with the cover line: "It feels like I failed." [People]
• New Jon & Kate episodes will include Jon's new girlfriend, 23-year-old Deanna Hummel. [Gatecrasher]
• "Reports this week claim Aniston has been sent text messages by Angelina Jolie demanding she 'back off'." Heh. Hahhaha. Ha. [Daily Mail]
• Is Britney Spears going to be in a Nazi movie? Brain… cannot… compute. [National Ledger]
• Rihanna didn't take the stand in Chris Brown's court case, so now Cover Girl has resumed its ad campaign featuring the singer. It's okay to think she's pretty again! [TMZ]
• Perez Hilton has released a new statement in which he says: "Words can hurt." And: "I wish none of it had happened. I can't take it back." And: "Who I am as a person and what I do for a living are two separate things." And: "Several television and radio shows over the past couple of days echoed the sentiment 'He had it coming'. Would they have said the same thing if I was a woman? Would I have 'deserved it' if I had been stabbed? Or shot? Or killed?" [Perez]
• Anne Hathaway loans her friends designer dresses out of her closet. [Gatecrasher]
• If you work for Oprah, you're going on a trip! She is taking 100 employees - and their families - on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean. JEALOUS. [Gatecrasher via Pop Crunch]
• "Madonna is trying to recreate her beloved Wiltshire manor in the middle of Manhattan." [The Sun]
• "Fitness fanatic Madonna has banned smoking roadies from coming within 50ft of her…" [The Sun]
• Video of Zachary Quinto walking his dog with a friend who is dressed as a giant steak. Quinto falls, curses. The walking resumes. Inexplicable. [ONTD]
• LOL: Ellen's variety show will be called Bigger Longer & Wider. It debuts on TBS this Saturday at 9pm, with Kanye West, David Blaine and Nick Cannon among the performers. [USA Today]
• More drama involving Danielle Staub from the Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Smoking Gun has discovered that in 1986, she was charged with eight felonies, including extortion, cocaine possession, and narcotics conspiracy. And you know how Staub told People she was "never a prostitute. Never"? She told a federal agent she worked for an escort service. [MSNBC, The Smoking Gun]
• Great Q&A with Teresa from RHONJ at the link; she's asked if there's a little too much onyx and granite in her house abd says: "No, I don't think you can ever have too much. I coulda had more." [Newsweek]
• And! When asked, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much does Danielle annoy you?" Teresa answers: "20." [Newsweek]
• The stuff dreams are made of: James Franco reading Proust. [Page Six]
• Were Megan Fox and Josh Brolin involved in a New Orleans fire? [Page Six]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo: Over. But those hot tub pix live forever! [People]
• Liev Schreiber plays a cross-dresser in Ang Lee's film Taking Woodstock and says: "[Ang] really did like my legs. When I went to his office, the first thing he said to me was, 'Wow, you have really nice legs.' I thought, 'This part is mine.'" [NY Mag]
• Pardon my groan: The Jonas Brothers are on the cover of Rolling Stone (again) looking like they bought fake IDs and are headed to the local leather bar to watch some bear on cub wrestling. [JustJared]
• "Martina Navratilova sued for millions by 'wife' after being 'dumped without warning.'" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl will star in a romance flick called Life As We Know It, which she is producing with her mother. [Variety]
• Daniel Craig will star in Dream House, a psychological thriller about a man who moves his family to a small town only to find it haunted by the former inhabitants who were murdered there. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Craig Robinson, Heather Graham, Johnny Knoxville and Camilla Belle will join Kevin Spacey in the comedy Father Of Invention, which Spacey is producing. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Julianne Hough probably won't be in Footloose, as her acting is abominable. [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge of The Hills is getting her own reality show, creatively titled The Audrina Show. [EW]
• Epic Marilyn Manson interview! He talks about how he felt when he and Evan Rachel Wood broke up: "My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that's a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands." [Spin]
• Marilyn Manson also says of Evan Rachel Wood: "I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer." [Spin]
• John Travolta is in South Africa, as a way to honor his late son who loved safaris. [TMZ]
• Is R. Kelly involved in a scam that robbed the elderly of £1million? [The Sun]
• Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai is involved with some kind of illegal purchase of land, uh-oh. [Times of India]
• Michael Madsen owes Pierce Brosnan and Quentin Tarantino money. Not ten bucks — like $25,000 to Brosnan and $1 million to QT. [TMZ]
• "Rachel Hunter devastated as ice hockey player fiancé calls off wedding SEVEN WEEKS before big day." [Daily Mail]
• Come on baby shake your pigskin: Gloria Estefan and her husband Emilio are buying a share in the NFL's Miami Dolphins. [UPI]
• Joan Rivers is moving to L.A. and selling her Upper East side condo and Connecticut cottage, which is "so filled to the brim with campy knickknackery that it almost looks découpaged" and where Joan keeps a photograph of herself next to the bed. [NY Mag]
• Phil Spector is now in the "sensitive needs" area of California state prison, which is separate from the "gen pop." [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which TV star will absolutely scream when she discovers her husband was chasing girls at an L.A. nightclub over the weekend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q. Was it fun flipping the table? A: "Fun? It was heat of the moment and it was something that came spontaneously. That was my anger coming out. I just had enough of her. I was just done. I've never done it before. Will I ever do it again? I don't think so because I don't think I'll let someone get to me like she does because in real life I probably would have stopped hanging out with her." — Teresa, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Newsweek]
• "I'd be a liar if I said it was easy. I think it's very different nowadays for working mothers. Before, a woman could take two years off - a year for her pregnancy and then the first year, but I don't think that's possible for women in showbusiness or in any industry any more. You just have to keep going - keep looking forward. If you stop, you're like, 'Oh God, it's too overwhelming.' And believe me, I've had my fair share of those moments." — Anna Friel. [Telegraph]
• "I really cannot tell you if there will ever be another Batman movie. Chris [Nolan, director] has obviously done an incredible job with it. He's devoted to the movie that he's on right now. I'm none the wiser about we'll ever be revisiting Gotham or not." — Christian Bale. Of another Terminator movie he says: "No conversation has been had about that at all." [Pop Wrap]
• "That song is about when someone said to me, 'Okay, I want to be with you until I die.' And then they gave up. I was at the point in my life where I was like, 'Okay, let's die, but I tell you what, I'm going to kill you first, because I don't trust you.' Honestly. It's hard to look back and see myself as the same person. I'm very objective now. I started to apply this really fantastic rule that they don't teach you in AA or AAA, or any other acronym: Do drugs and drink when you're happy, not when you're sad. It has a great effect. But I can't say that I did that the whole time." — Marilyn Manson, still talking about Evan Rachel Wood. [Spin]
• "She's a lot shorter than I thought she would be, but I was pleased by that. I'm happy there was a flaw. Having said that, I think Angelina is pretty talented. And a remarkable human being, and a great mom. She's definitely not like any other lady I know." — Six foot three Liev Schreiber, on his five foot eight Salt costar Angelina Jolie. [Gatecrasher]
• "I did teach Abby how to say the f-word. I taught her how to drop the f-bomb in every way possible. I said, 'You're a child in an adult's world. I can't be a child for you. When she didn't swear, I said, 'You're starting to offend me Abby. If you don't start swearing every three words then I will fine you.'" — Cameron Diaz, 36 on working with Abigail Breslin, 13 in My Sister's Keeper. [Mirror]
• "I am so often puzzled [by journalists]. Sometimes they go, 'So what's this all about? ... What do you look like when you go home? Do you dress like this all the time?' It's rude! It's not nice… [Lady Gaga] is who I am. Me and my hair bow, we go to bed together. She sleeps where I sleep." — Lady GaGa. [Yahoo News via AP]

• Damn Yankee Alex Rodriguez — previously linked to Madonna — was seen MAKING OUT with Kate Hudson in Miami. Isn't she into hairy hippies? [Page Six]

• Is there some kind of "catfight" happening on the set of Iron Man 2? This paper claims "the claws are out" and "sparks are flying" between Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson. A "source" says: "They come from different worlds and have completely different styles. Gwyneth has found Scarlett very demanding of the attention of the crew. It's not a happy set." Wimminz don't know how to work together! [The Sun]
• As you may recall, Mariska Hargitay had a partially collapsed lung, and now she reveals why: "I've been doing my own stunts on the show for 10 years. I fell wrong, basically. I collapsed my lung doing a stunt." She adds: "I'm back to my old self." [People]
• Rihanna: Spotted in the VIP room of NYC strip club FlashDancers with six friends, "tipping the girls a lot" and kissing a guy she was with. A guy who was not Chris Brown. [Page Six]
• Cynthia Nixon is engaged to ladyfriend Christine Marinoni, but says: "There are really not any wedding plans other than to do everything we can ... to see that same-sex marriage is passed in New York." Word. She continues: "I've lived here all my life. ... I want to get married in my home. I think it's really time for New York to step up to the plate." [USA Today]
• This film critic writes, "Jennifer Aniston is prime example of good actors making bad movie choices… Every time we see a new picture of her on the set of The Baster, we have to ask: Why does America's most famously single woman continually put herself in awkward positions onscreen?" [NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell and Kara DioGuardi: Not leaving American Idol. "Every year there are rumors right before the finale," spills a source. "That's all they are - rumors. It makes for good buzz." [MSNBC]
• Lily Allen's band may have trashed a hotel room, but Lily was not part of it: "They did a pretty good job of one [hotel room] in Paris. TVs out of the window and everything, but I wasn't there. I wasn't involved. I was in a different hotel. It was a day off. When I have a day off and you're in a European city the band tends to be a write off. I didn't see them for that whole day, I didn't want to. They sounded like they were in a state." [Daily Mail]
• Here are pictures of Hayden Panettiere, 19, and her new man, Welsh TV personality Steve Jones, 32, sunbathing in the south of France. [Daily Mail]
• If you're a Twihard, or just a regular person, you can see the New Moon poster in all its Photoshoppy glory at the link. [Perez]
• Your friend Kanye West pleaded not guilty to misdemeanor charges regarding that paparazzi scuffle at LAX last year. He's got a hearing on July 15. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Chelsea Handler does not want Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Pratt on her show; they were pitched to her last week, and she says: "I told my talent booker to tell their publicists to fuck off." [Perez Hilton]
• Julianne Hough previously said she was leaving Dancing With The Stars next season; now she is saying she'll work on her music for a while and return in 2010. [People]
• Mel Gibson's girlfriend: "Definitely" pregnant. Which means the National Enquirer was right. [MSNBC]
• Precious, the film based on the novel Push by Sapphire, received a standing ovation in Cannes. [Guardian]
• Katy Perry "kept everyone in business class awake with her rowdy partying" on a European flight over the weekend. A person who emerges from a giant banana does not arrive quietly. [Gatecrasher]
• Jermaine Dupri has a tattoo of Janet Jackson looking like the Virgin Mary. What have you done for her lately? [The Life Files]
• Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart says Fawcett has not been given a timetable regarding how much time she has left. "No one has said to her you have two months to live," Stewart said Monday. "So I'm looking at that as a really good sign." [CNN]
• Apparently Alana Stewart, who appears on camera throughout Farrah's Story, got $200,000 after she threatened to cancel the project. [NY Post]
• Your TV is about to get more Sherri Shepherd: Lifetime has ordered 12 episodes of Sherri, the comedy in which she plays a a single mom, paralegal and actress. [Variety]
• Pedro Almodovar's Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown: coming to TV in the US! Plus: A Broadway musical! [Breitbart]
• Colin Firth and Kevin Spacey will star in flick based on a George Orwell book. Catalonia revolves around the real-life story of how Orwell and his wife Eileen traveled to Barcelona to fight Stalinism. Sexy? [Variety]
• "Rod Stewart's wife has spoken of her heartache at being unable to conceive a second child… Stewart, who has six other children from four previous relationships, is also said to be desperate for another baby." [Daily Mail]
• Porn star Marilyn Chambers, who was found dead in her home at the age of 56 last month, died from complications of heart disease, according to the coroner's report. [Reuters]
• Rapper Dolla, whose album was scheduled to drop via Jive Records this summer, was fatally shot in the head in the parking lot of the Beverly Center mall in L.A. yesterday. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which SAG Award-winning actor has pals ship him marijuana in hollowed-out candles when he's working out of town?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I said, 'Mariah, do you fancy playing a Jewish social worker and tapping into your white side? You will have to commit to wearing dark circles under your eyes, a wig and the cheapest fabric on your body, and shedding all the layers.' And, you know, it wasn't that hard for her, because that is who she's like when we're alone. She's part of a group of African-Americans that have been blessed to have been around the world and have a little money, but who are a generation away from, if not actually from, the ghetto. We feel like a little unit - Lenny Kravitz, Mariah Carey, me. We are outsiders in our own community, a little." — Lee Daniels, director of Precious. [Guardian]
• "I didn't want to release it for a long time, because it's very personal. But I've grown so much in the past two years – I feel ready for people to see it now."— Paris Hilton on her movie, Paris Not France. [Mirror]
• "How could anyone think I would pretend to split up from my wife to grab headlines? It's just sick." — Peter Andre, who is "crushed" that his marriage to Katie "Jordan" Price has disintegrated. [The Sun]
• "I saw a woman walking a big iguana and holding it up to have a pee." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty, on why L.A. freaks her out. [The Sun]
• "I think the handful of people who disagreed with this song really misunderstood what the record was about. What I'm talking about is getting money. I was really trying to point out that Arabs have one of the richest cultures in the world, not just from a monetary standpoint but also a spiritual standpoint. In the United States and North America, we're not really identified with a particular faith. We don't really have a culture that anyone can identify with because America is a mixture taken from everyone else's [roots]. My thinking is that if we're going to take from a culture, let's take from a culture that has exemplified success for thousands of years." — Busta Rhymes, on his controversial track, "Arab Money," which uses verses from the Koran as well as statements about women and partying. [Time]
• "I think they were in a much more hopeful place when the last movie ended, and that's really all I can tell you about where we will pick them up. I was given such great stuff to do in the last movie, but it was very emotional and almost tragic. I would really like to see Miranda back in her stride, with a spring in her step. To be Samantha, to be any of the women, marriage, it might be your destination or it might not. It doesn't mean that you're just sitting by the phone weeping. You might have a very full life that you're enjoying." — Cynthia Nixon, on the Sex And The City sequel. [USA Today]
• "Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I'd been naked in the light, in front of a girl with no hiding place. I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. It put her at a weird angle. I'm not extremely well-endowed and clearly this wasn't the move." — Shia LaBeouf, on losing his virginity. [Mirror]

• Britney Spears is denying that she is pregnant with her third child after Ryan Seacrest announced on his radio show that a "reliable source" told him she was. "She's absolutely not pregnant," said Britney's spokesman.

• He added, "I have no idea where this ridiculous rumour has come from." [Mirror]
• Sam Lutfi has filed an appeal against the permanent restraining order that says he has to stay away from Britney Spears. "Never before in the history of the world has a restraining order been granted as a result of someone answering someone else's cries for help," said his lawyer. "The evidence showed it was Britney Spears reaching out to Mr. Lutfi and all he did was help her get a lawyer." [TMZ]
• Ugh. Britney Spears called the hotel she'll be staying at when her tour hits London to install a stripper pole in her suite. Asource said: 'Britney loves pole dancing, it is her new favourite work out. [The Daily Mail]
• Yesterday Star claimed that Jennifer Aniston is adopting a baby boy and even announced what Jen is planning to name him. The only problem is Us says the story is a total lie. [E!]
• Child and Family Services questioned Nadya Sulemen yesterday after a teacher reported her 4-year-old autistic son showed up to school with a black eye and bite marks. Her lawyer said the two-year-old twins may have caused the bruises, but then added, "Poor Aiden, he falls a lot. He jumps at noises and things and bump furniture and walls." [TMZ]
• Though Madonna won a court to make the U.S. the permanent home of her sons Rocco and David, she has decided to let Guy Ritchie have the boys for the summer while she is on tour. "Guy absolutely dotes on his children and can't wait to have them for a whole three months," says a source. "He is surprised and pleased that Madonna is being so generous - as she has at times been impossible." [The Sun]
• Leona Lewis's horse kicked her in the face, splitting her lip and knocking her to the floor. A source says, "Leona has been riding since she was a child and has never had a fear of horses. So she was really shaken up when the horse turned on her. Something startled the horse and it flicked its head back and smacked Leona full in the face." [Perez Hilton]
• Brady Green has been convicted of stalking Tyra Banks. He could be sentenced for up to 90 days in jail for stalking, harassment, criminal trespass and attempted aggravated harassment. [AP]
• The Albertina Museum in Austria got a call from a woman claiming to be Beyonce's manager, who said she was coming for a visit. The woman who showed up, "Was too thin for Beyoncé," says museum press officer Verena Dahlitz. "I thought she had probably lost weight." but they gave her a tour anyway. It turns out the woman was an impostor sent by a local radio station. [People]
• The marketing manager at the radio station said they hired a German model for the prank, "We'll call the Albertina to say we meant no harm," manager Andrea Hilber said. "It was a great museum tour." [Earth Times]
• Tina Meier was awarded TEEN LINE's 2009 Humanitarian Award for her work to stop cyber bullying following her daughter Megan Meier's suicide. "After I'd go out and speak before [the trial], I would be emotionally drained and cry for two hours, but now I've grown stronger," she says. "The pain of losing Megan will never go away, but it has lessened with the knowledge that I can help another child, another family." [People]
• Julianne Hough won't be returning do Dancing With The Stars for season 9. [People]
• The 67 breakfast trays and 80 gallons of coffee Hugh Jackman ordered for the 800 fans camping out at the Wolverine premiere came to $4308.87. [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman says that he's more attached to how Wolverine is received because he is a producer. "This is how I saw the Wolverine character and I haven't been quiet or shy about saying I wanted to make this movie, so it becomes more personal. [If it fails] I can't lay the blame on anybody else," he said, adding, "It's true that by X-Men 3 the character was getting a little softer, so here we've made him a little darker, a little edgier and – if you'll forgive the American expression – more badass." [The Telegraph]
• Leighton Meester dyed her hair a slightly lighter shade of brown, which is supposed to mean something about her potential music career. [E!]
• Amanda Setton, who plays Penelope Shafai on Gossip Girl says of her the relationship between her co-stars Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr, "It fell into place quite quickly and we're all super excited for them ... They really balance each other. I'm just happy that they're happy." [People]
• Josh Duhamel will drive the pace car at the Indy 500 in May. [USA Today]
• Lisa Rinna has some good news about the swine flu: she thinks her entire family had it, but they survived. "I believe we all, except for myself, had the swine flu at our house," she said, "How do you know it's the swine flu? I don't know but we had all the symptoms." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Lisa Rinna says she no longer wants to appear on the new Melrose Place. "We had a moment, and it was real fun," Rinna says. "I've moved on. It's all good." [E!]
• At a panel discussion at New York City's Paley Center for Media the cast of Ugly Betty shared some spoilers about the upcoming season, which you can read here: [Entertainment Weekly]
• Jonathan Rhys Myers is denying reports that he cancelled some recent performances because he was in rehab for an alcohol problem. He says he spent time with a counselor, but "I just felt I needed time off and I didn't need to go to awards ceremonies. You can get slightly waylaid as an actor doing that sort of thing and I'm never that comfortable at them anyway." [The Daily Express]
• Kylie Minogue is in the market for a villa in Spain because she wants to be closer to her Spanish model boyfriend Andres Velencoso. "Kylie also wants to learn Spanish and has been following DVDs. But having a house in Spain will make things easier," said a source. [The Star]
• Anna Faris says she's not trying to lose weight for her wedding. "I am fattening it up!" she said. "Now that I have a man, I'm like, 'Oh, I don't have to try anymore! Now I can eat. We love to splurge at home. We love to cook. My fiancé is an incredible eater, and so he's really fun to feed, and it's great to share some wine and watch a movie. He's always like, 'Baby, don't lose that butt!'" [People]
• According to Jamie Kennedy, girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt's family loves him. "I go over to her mom's house to play charades,"said Kennedy, adding, "Jennifer's brother, Todd, gave me his blessing. That's pretty exciting!" [E!]
• Kara DioGuardi is one of People's most beautiful people, but she says she still has insecurities. "When I was trying to be an artist, people would say, 'Maybe you need to lose a little weight; your nose is too big.' When it's time to go on stage, I think, 'Shave [down] your nose!'" [People]
• Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were spotted out together, but they say they were just hanging out as friends. [Perez Hilton]
• Pink made a surprise appearance in Trafalgar Square to film a new T-Mobile ad and had the crowd sing along to songs like "Hey Jude" and "Hit Me Baby one More Time." [The Star]
• People are saying Julia Ormond is experiencing a comeback because she appeared recently in Benjamin Button, Che and Kit Kittridge: An American Girl. She says: "How I see it is that there was a point in time when I felt I needed to step away and then it's three years that I've been working more intensely. I balk at the term comeback. For me, an actor's life is something where you're going to have highs and lows, and you just hope to continue working. I see it as more of a continuation. The way movies work is that you don't have any control over when they are going to come out." [Reuters]

• Gisele Bundchen married Tom Brady again, this time in Costa Rica. They first got hitched in the U.S. in February. These days you can't be a celebrity and not have two or three ceremonies. [Breitbart, Mirror]

• Oh! But! There was gunfire at Gisele's wedding: Bodyguards shot at paparazzi. No one was injured, but the back window on an SUV was shattered. Says one snapper: "I could have lost my life for the sale of some pictures that Gisele didn't want published. Are they insane?" [NY Post]
• Madonna reportedly "shrieked in horror" when she found out that a judge was denying her adoption of Mercy. [Pop Dirt]
• Madonna has left Malawi in her private jet and is headed for London. [Star Tribune]
• Madonna is said to be "in pieces." [Daily Mail]
• And now Madonna is back in the UK; Guy Ritchie met her at the airport. They didn't seem to speak to each other but he had a big hug for David. [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna is partying in Barbados — it's her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. Her father says the singer is "back to herself." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown is due in court today where he will do some "intense" plea dealing. [NY Daily News]
• Over the weekend, news broke that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a huge fight and that Sam changed the locks at her house. Ouch! [TMZ]
• Lindsay was specifically asked not to attend a Charlotte Ronson party but showed up anyway. [Socialite Life]
• Did Lindsay go on a Twitter tirade? This report says she wrote: "Being cheated on does wonders to you. I'm doing this publicly because u&ur friends call People [magazine]. So you win, you broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you." So wait, Sam cheated? Also, not so long ago, you couldn't get LL to admit she was IN a gay relationship; now she announces the details to the whole world??? [This Is London]
• Farrah Fawcett, who has been battling cancer for almost three years, is in a hospital in L.A. [Reuters, RadarOnline]
• Meanwhile, her son, Redmond O'Neal, was busted for drugs yesterday. In the parking lot of a prison. Not a joke. Also, Ryan O'Neal says Farrah just went in for a procedure and "is not at death's door." [NY Post, EW]
• This report says the end is near for Farrah Fawcett. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This paper claims that doctors fear the worst for Farrah. [NY Post]
• Scandalous: Jennifer Aniston was seen smiling and laughing and generally having fun. [Gatecrasher]
• Dear Beyoncé, the bangs and the heels are understandable, but the suspenders? [Daily Mail]
• Paris Hilton says of Doug Reinhardt: "We're best friends. It's not like we just met. We've known each other over the past year. I was in a relationship before and we reconnected. I'm really in love and really happy. He's going to be my husband." Does that sound like a threat? [E!]
• There's a sneak peak of season five of The Hills up, and apparently the big question is whether Heidi and Lauren will reconcile. But the even bigger question is: Does anyone still care? [E!]
• Speaking of The Hills, Lauren Conrad's new guy, Kyle Howard, wants to marry her, so he took her mom and dad out for lunch — and picked up the tab. [Star]
• Ryan Gosling has a band, and the band has a video, and it's here. [Pop Sugar]
• Oh, Christ: After enduring all kinds of shit for those bikini pictures, now this headline from the Daily Fail: "Has Jennifer Love Hewitt Lost Too Much Weight?" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher are shooting a flick called Five Killers and it appears that they kiss. [Socialite Life]
• "How Poor Suri Cruise Has Become A Style Victim At Just Three Years Of Age." [Daily Mail]
• Behold: Victoria Beckham in enormous shoulder pads. [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Penn Badgley have left the country to vacation in Thailand and you have not. [Just Jared]
• It's not that Serena Williams can't find a pair of bikini bottoms that fit, it's that her derriere is awesome and will not be held down! [Daily Mail]
• Anna Kournikova took part in a triathlon in Miami on Sunday. [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, Seal will sing the National Anthem at the Red Sox/Tampa Bay Rays game today! [The Star]
• You may find this hard to believe, but Gary Coleman regrets doing a movie titled Midgets vs. Mascots. He has a YouTube rant explaining his mortgage made him do it. [Page Six]
• Possible new couple: 50 Cent and Ciara. [Page Six]
• Bai Ling wants you to know that Bai Ling never had sex with Mickey Rourke. [Page Six]
• A square-faced Jack Black slays demons with his guitar in a new video game called Brutal Legend. Check out his heart-shaped soul patch! [Wired]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are not only back on, but looking for a "love nest" in Santa Monica. Megan wants ocean views because "she loves the beach and spotting dolphins." [Star Magazine]
• The series finale of ER did okay, ratings-wise, but not as well as Cheers or Friends. [AdAge]
• Miley Cyrus' wardrobe in the Hannah Montana movie is "clean cut, wholesome and decidedly demure." Are times changing?!?! [LA Times]
• Between Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift and Julianne Hough, women ruled at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Do you have to be blonde and toothy, or is it just a coincidence? [Yahoo News ia AP]
• Christina Ricci will star in a "porn-tinged comedy" co-written by Adam Sandler. She'll play "an innocent girlfriend." [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Hudson's fans worry about her and can't stop talking about how they hope she doesn't cry while she is singing. [Washington Post]
• Jennifer Hudson says, "I'm fine, I'm happy." [USA Today]
• By now you must have heard: Demi Moore saved a suicidal woman's life via Twitter? [The Star]
• Brandon Michael Vayda, who plays Mike on 90210, pulled some guy out of a taxi and "beat the living crap out of him" outside of a nightclub. [TMZ]
• Alex DeSilva, a choreographer from So You Think You Can Dance, was arrested Saturday and charged with four counts of sexual assault. All of his victims were his students at the time. [E!]
• Fox's Roger Friedman wrote about the leaked flick Wolverine (which the FBI is investigating) in his column, saying, "It took really less than seconds to start playing it all right onto my computer." Now he's been fired. Whoops! [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr sang together for the first time in years at a benefit to introduce children to transcendental meditation. And yes, David Lynch runs the foundation in question. [Breitbart]
• Jeff Beck, Metallica, Run-DMC, Bobby Womack and Little Anthony and the Imperials were inducted into the hall of fame over the weekend. [NY Times]
• Fast & Furious sped away with a $72.5 million box office, which is huge. Huge. [Breitbart]
• Thousands lined the streets of London and Essex at the funeral of Jade Goody, which this paper calls "Princess Diana-style." [Daily Mail]'
• Jade Goody's family says they don't want her grave to be a shrine, "trampled by strangers." [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which C-list Hollywood stud was so drunk and desperate that he showed up at the home of an L.A. gossip reporter and demanded a booty call? Guess what, folks? She accepted!" [Gatecrasher]
• "There's a time for celebration and I partake, sure. But you know, it's important not to let that become too big of a distraction. The more you have access to, the harder it is to remain focused. You know what, I do not want to fall victim to that, it's too easy and too often done. It's out of style anyway, I think too many people have done it before me, I'm not going to. It's uncool, yeah. I think the rebellious thing to do would to actually be successful." — Zac Efron on drinking and the Hollywood party scene. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I'm excited to not have everything scheduled in advance. I can just call up a friend and grab lunch. I can wear white when I want to — I could never do that on camera. I can go backless!" — Lauren Conrad, on her plans for her life after The Hills. [LA Times]
• "It's kind of like a self-aware observational comedy of the simplest thing in the world, which isn't so simple." — Bob Saget on his new show, Surviving Suburbia. [NY Daily News]
• "People will always say that I'm over-exposed and that's what I want, all this attention. That's not it. What I love is the art of it all." — Miley Cyrus. [NY Daily News]
• "Somebody said to me 'Well, you know what? You just got such a big mouth and you just know how to talk to people. Did you ever think about runnin' for president?' I said 'I think we've had enough boobs in the White House.'" — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]
• "Some of my best compliments are on a $15 Ross dress. Ross gets you a weird look, but I've rocked two or three good pieces from there over the years." — Rosario Dawson. [New York Mag]
• "Well, I certainly got hit on a lot. And a lotta men thought I was as silly as I looked, I guess. You know, I look like a woman but I think like a man. And in this world of business, that has helped me a lot. Because by the time they think that I don't know what's goin' on, I then got the money, and gone." — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]

• Aww, lookit: BritBrit on the cover of Rolling Stone, looking healthy and happy. She says: "I feel like an old person now. I do! I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don't go out or anything." Oh! But Britney did go on a date recently, and took her assistant and a manager's friend with her. "Right when we got there, we just knew it was just bad," she says. "He looked like an older version of Harry Potter, but skinnier. So I had to get dessert first." Plus! Her kids "are starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy." [ONTD, USA Today, The Sun]
• With good news must come bad: Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital after screaming fight with Blake Formerly Incarcerated. [The Sun]
• Why is Kate Moss all scratched up and bruised? [Daily Mail]
• Click to see Lindsay Lohan sneak vodka into her drink: Caught on camera! [The.Life Flies]

• The Boy George trial has begun! A Norwegian male escort claims he was chained to the wall and beaten by the former Culture Club singer. The court heard about sex toys, leather straps, cocaine: The usual. [Daily Mail, BBC News]
• In his first interview since the plane crash, Travis Barker explains why he has filed a lawsuit: "If something goes wrong that's not supposed to go wrong or you fall victim of it, I think you should be compensated." [Perez Hilton, People]
• Shanna Moakler's been hanging out with Travis Barker lately — and she's been wearing her wedding ring. [TMZ]
• Spencer and Heidi didn't just elope: They got married on November 20. They were able to keep the wedding secret until this week. The ceremony was held on the beach in Mexico, and it wasn't planned. There were no family members present and it took about 15 minutes. [Perez Hilton]
• Spencer's wedding vows: "Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person…" Oy. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi "couldn't stop crying" after saying her vows. [MSBC]
• Uh-oh, Heidi didn't tell her dad about marrying Spencer. "I would be upset if she got married and didn't invite me!" Bill Montag says. [People]
• Look for all the wedding pictures in Us magazine. More in Midweek Madness today! [Perez Hilton]
• Nicole Kidman is psyched her daughter, Sunday Rose, is "born and bred" in Nashville. "I hope she has a Southern accent." [People, Sydney Morning Herald]
• Number one on E!'s "Top 10 Sexiest Women" list? Belly-button-less icon, Karolina Kurkova. Number 2 is Bar Rafaeli, and Angelina Jolie is a mere third. Scarlett Johansson is chopped liver. [Mirror]
• Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance: Daddy-to-be! His wife Lindsey is expecting a child in summer 2009. A tiny nü-goth emo kid? [NY Times]
• Madonna: "I'm sad about my personal life, but I feel very blessed and very lucky that I have the opportunity to do what I do in my professional life. It would be horrible if I was just thinking about getting a divorce and had nothing to do." Lord, imagine if she had nothing to do??? [AP]
• In an e-mail, A-Rod's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Cynthia, writes: "My 6-foot-3, 220-pound, soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna. She called and he ran on her command back to New York City… Gross!" A source says: "Alex likes a woman with a strong hand. He likes to be told what to do. He's a bit of a cipher." [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise admits that his past erratic behavior was maybe not endearing. "There are things that I could have done better," he says. I was surprised at the criticism but it brought everyone closer together: Katie’s entire family and my family." Also, he says: We’ll have more children, I’m saying this, but Kate’s not here!" On Suri: "She’s happy and fun. She’ll just wave to people in the street." [Mirror]
• Oh, plus: "I have to say some of those paparazzi shots of my daughter are incredible," Tom says. Agreed! These snaps of Suri eating a cupcake are brain-exploding cuteness. [Daily Mail]
• Joel Madden is "thrilled" his friends Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz have a kid. "They are going to be great parents. They both have really big hearts." [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood and Joseph Gordon Levitt: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Reese Witherspoon says she doesn't know why there are rumors that she didn't get along with Vince Vaughn while shooting Four Christmases… not that we ever heard those rumors. She says: "We're very good friends and very much partners on this movie. We decided to produce it together and we re-wrote the script together and every day was like: 'How are we going to do this?' 'What are we going to do now?'" Related: The flick looks shitty. [UPI]
• Celebrities blog. [Reuters]
• Simon Cowell and his ex, Terri Seymour, talk five times a day? [The Star]
• Oh and Terri denies that Simon paid her off after they broke up: "I was horrified when I read that he’s supposed to have given me $10m or whatever. I was like, ‘Why?’ I’ve worked myself since I was 12 years old. I’ve always been very independent and I’m lucky that I still work like I do." [Mirror]
• Jude Law and Sadie Frost ran into each other at a party, but kept a frosty distance, heh. [The Sun]
• Julianne Hough: Looking to be a pop star now that she's hung up her Dancing shoes. [People]
• Speaking of Dancing With The Stars, Joey Fatone talks shit about the contestants: "Kim Kardashian, ugh, she has no personality at all. It was painful to watch. Lance Bass can't point his toe for shit… he had to have two Red Bulls before doing the jive." [Page Six]
• America's Next Top Model is thisclose to getting renewed for a 13th cycle. [Yahoo News]
• Is Paris Hilton in denial about her breakup with Benji Madden? "Right now we’re just taking a break,” she told Life & Style magazine. "We both love each other very much, and we’ll see what happens in the future. My work schedule is out of control, so it’s hard for us to have time for each other. It’s going to be really hard being alone during the holidays, but I’m lucky to have a great family." [MSNBC]
• Paris, who was dumped via voicemail earlier this month, talked about how much she loves Benji on Ryan Seacrest's radio show. She should have dedicated a song to him, old-skool steez. [Mirror]
• Everyone is over Paris anyway, she was booed at a club in Hollywood this weekend. [Page Six]
• Cloris Leachman talks about her health: She's got asthma, but it turned into pneumonia maybe, or bronchitis, but now she says, "I'm better than I've been in years." [ET]
• Kevin Spacey was given a special theater award for rejuvenating one of London's best-loved play houses, the Old Vic. [Telegraph]
• Chinese people are angry that Guns N' Roses called their album Chinese Democracy. [ABC News]
• Jason Lee and Ceren Alkac: Married. Back in July. Guess it was a secret. And they have a baby girl, born in August, and they haven't released her name, but we can only hope it's as, uh, unique as Lee's son's name, Pilot Inspektor. [People]
• Boston Legal: Case closed. As in, show cancelled. [UPI]
• Paul McCartney spills on his new relationship! "I just like being in love," he says. Yawn. [People]
• Legendary producer David Foster says working with Paul McCartney was "a little like being on a bad date. Ten bad dates, maybe." [Rush & Molloy]
• The new show on A&E, Steven Seagal: Lawman, will follow the actor as he fights crime in Louisiana. Did you know he was a police officer??? [Daily Express]
• Bryant Gumbel's 29-year-old son Bradley was arrested for an alleged DUI last week. [TMZ]
• The guy shot dead to the Hollywood Scientology Center had made prior threats, and less than a month ago he was arrested somewhere for swinging an ax at an Auto Club employee who was bringing him gas for his car. [LA Times]
• George Takei's husband is wondering why George hasn't been wearing his wedding ring while on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here: "I can't tell if George is wearing his and that worries me. Maybe he doesn't want it covered in grime," Brad Altman frets. [Mirror]
• Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees had a standoff with security guards and missed his flight after refusing to let security staff search his bag. What do you think was in there? [Mirror]
• James Jagger — son of Mick, with Jerry Hall as his mother — has landed his first film role. The 23-year-old is playing Alessandro Grimani, a pupil, in a biopic of the composer Vivaldi. [Telegraph]
• After she crashed her car and killed a woman two years ago, Brandy was super depressed. "There was a point when I didn't feel like it was OK to live on, because someone else lost their life," she says. "I really didn't know what to do. I was in limbo for a long time. I didn't go outside for months." [Page Six]
• Rapper Nas feels relevant because his album has a song called "Black President" on it. [Rolling Stone]
• RIP screenwriter John Michael Hayes (nominated for Academy Awards for Hitchcock's Rear Window and for Peyton Place), dead at age 89. [AP]
• "Some of the women who became my friends while I was incarcerated have visited with me. There are some very interesting women there of great value to society, and I keep in contact with them. We have some broken systems in this country - one is the prison system." — Martha Stewart. [Page Six]
• "People want to know what Van Damme is. I'm a mass-audience guy. When I go to Russia or Brazil, the people all come en masse, because I'm a guy from the people who made me famous, not the papers or the studios." — Jean-Claude Van Damme. [USA Today]
• "The way I see it is that Peaches [Geldof] is a very lost, sad little girl. And at one point I was like that, so I don’t want to judge. Instead of everyone picking on her, they should try to help. It’s all a bit sad to be honest with you. f she loves him then good for her, but if it was done for attention, it’s a bit sad. I did stuff like that when I was 19 as well, like get a tattoo because it pissed my mum off. It’s just a great big cry for help. Maybe all she needs is a hug." — Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]
• "I think there is too much of it. You can't turn on the telly without somebody being judged by four people, whether they are on ice, or on the stage or in the jungle. I'm not very keen on it. I watch it — like everybody. It's compulsive viewing but so is a traffic accident. It doesn't encourage creativity." — Paul McCartney, on reality TV. [Telegraph]
• "Beyonce is great, so lovely and down to earth and talented. She’s definitely inspiring. I might go into acting like her if the right thing comes along, like a small movie part. I’m working on my clothing line." — Leona Lewis. [The Sun]
• "Actually I'm not in the tabloids anymore. I am sometimes, but I've watched the culture change. I'm old hat. And I love it. You know what it is with me? This is something I'd like to clarify. I've heard people say, 'Because you hide, it makes you seem ungrateful.' The mere fact that these - I'll use the word piles - are earning money from exploiting my image is the only reason I hide myself or am not a photo-friendly person. I do not like the way they conduct themselves. I think they're disrespectful and dangerous. The reason I don't pose or smile or that I seem mad is that I don't want them to make a living off my private life." — Leonardo DiCaprio on "boycotting" the paparazzi. [Daily Express]

• Madonna is divorced. A judge ruled on "Ciccone, M.L. v. Ritchie, G.S." today and the case was a "quickie," an uncontested divorce. Neither Madonna nor Guy Ritchie attended the hearing, which lasted barely a minute. Her Madgesty is single again! Think she'll get hitched to A-Rod? [Yahoo News]
• Oh snap! Madonna just had drinks with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn. [Page Six]
• A source says don't believe what you read about Guy being a gentleman and not taking a penny from Madge. He's getting a "huge pay day." [Perez Hilton]
• Friends of Madonna's are not surprised that the divorce went through so quickly. "It’s not fair to Guy, to the kids, to drag it out for any reason," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Ashlee Simpson gave birth to a baby boy last night, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yeah, Bronx. And yeah: Mowgli. Urban Decay Jungle Book Wentz. [People]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have been "fighting like cats and dogs," says a source, and may be in couples therapy. Work it out, ladies! [Page Six]
• Whoa, a kid almost died on the set of 30 Rock when an out-of-control taxi smashed into the street where the show was filming and everyone had to dive out of the way. [Page Six]
• Shia LaBeouf's wrecked truck was on eBay, but barely anyone bid on it. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. His name is now Mikaeel. It might be so that he can legally wear a burka in court and no one can stare at his skin. [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson Mikaeel is due in court next week to defend claims that he owes Sheikh Abdullah $7 million. May Allah be with him! [Guardian]
• Ooh, more soundbites from Britney's new documentary: "Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird… I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day… It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way… It's bad. I'm sad." [She breaks down into tears.] [EW]
• Britney on why she let "bad people" into her life: "Because I was lonely." [People]
• Twilight star Robert Pattinson was asked, "What is all this talk about you not washing your hair for months on end?" He answered: "People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that. But, yeah, if it doesn't look dirty, why wash it?" Darling, it looks dirty. Get some Pantene Pro-V up in there. [USA Today]
• America's Next Top Model winner McKey says: "I was freaking out at the second CoverGirl commercial. I almost had a nervous breakdown. They only show a little bit of it, but Christian was fixing my makeup and I was like, 'Christian, I'm freaking out right now. I might have a nervous breakdown. I haven't had a nervous breakdown in forever. I'm going crazy. Why am I here?'" Because you look like a model, maybe? [E!]
• Leonardo DiCaprio attended a "preview screening" of a music video starring ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen because he's friends with the director, who is Kevin Connolly. Hollywood's a small town. [People]
• Uh, are Leo and Kate Bosworth an item???? [Star]
• Leo told this paper: "So much of my life has been spent on some far-off movie location and so little of it has been lived normally. I want to get married and have children." [Mirror]
• Hollywood is a small town, take 2: Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Reba McEntire, Sylvester Stallone, Magic Johnson and Barry Bonds are involved in the lawsuit between North and South Beverly Park homeowners. It's like the Sharks and the Jets! [LA Times]
• Here's more on that turf war between the North and the South. [TMZ]
• Apparently Brit TV host Jonathan Ross told Gwyneth Paltrow he "would fuck her" and the BBC has called that "gratuitous and unnecessarily offensive." Think so? [Guardian]
• A critic says Baz Luhrmann made a "big, big mistake" in casting Nicole Kidman as proper English dame Lady Sarah Ashley in Australia: Melanie Reid says Kidman is "one of the most overrated actors" in the world and who has "been the kiss of death in practically every movie she has starred in." There's more! "Kidman is exquisitely accomplished at being awful," Reid writes. "She can't act. Instead she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I'm-looking-interesting blue eyes." Ouch! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Ugh, someone asked Nicole Kidman if she was pregnant again. "No, I just have a little tummy," she said. "My god, I just had a baby four months ago – give me a break!" She added: "I think I've always had a little tummy, though, it runs in the family. My sister does, my mum does, my grandmother did… We affectionately refer to it as the 'little tummy.'" Fascinating. [People]
• Glenn Close didn't get the part of Elvira in Scarface because she wasn't slutty enough? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus let her boyfriend attend the casting for her new video, and a source says "Justin wanted to pick a guy that looked the most like him." WTF. [E!]
• Apparently the clip of Justin Timberlake dancing with Beyoncé on SNL has been yanked from YouTube due to music clearance issues. Dammit. Not fierce, Sasha. Not fierce. [LA Times]
• Angelina Jolie might not get nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Changeling, even though Ted Casablanca thinks she should. [E!]
• Rihanna's new tattoo: "It's tribal," she says. She got it in New Zealand, and it's Maori-inspired. "It's their traditional way of tattooing. I always wanted [one]. It hurt like hell!" [People]
• ABC has killed three shows: RIP Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money. [EW]
• Your friend Kanye West began his concert in Germany by having the crowd wait tow hours and then running on stage and shouting, "I really need some pussy tonight!" [The Sun]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard says all he's ever wanted to do is be all around the most beautiful women in the world. "I'm sorry I'm shallow like that, I'm a man." [Perez Hilton]
• Lance Bass is glad Julianne Hough has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: "She was the one I was scared of the most," he says. [People]
• Is Julianne Hough retiring from DWTS? "I'm not gonna be back next season," she says. "I really, really want to focus on the music and, ya know, be taken seriously a little bit. And I think it’s hard to be on [the show] and be singing." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon looks like a small town checkout girl on the cover of Parade. [Just Jared]
• Reese told Parade: "Family is all we have in life, but I don't know how I feel about marriage. Obviously, I'm not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again." For some reason this prompted this paper to run the headline "I'm Not Ready To Marry Jake." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger's family issued a statement to say that a new book about the star contains "gross inaccuracies, false allegations and many incorrect and unsubstantiated comments." The unauthorized bio, written by a journalist, claims Ledger was mentally ill. [News.com.au]
• The world is weird: Shaquille O'Neal is on Twitter. [Observer]
• Holly Madison says she's wearing less makeup now and P. Hilton says she's lying through her fake teeth. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris Hilton went out without Benji Madden and "looked distraught and completely lonesome." Sniff. [People]
• As for Benji, he is not talking about the split. [E!]
• Have you seen Rosie O'Donnell's video response to Barbara Walters? [Perez Hilton]
• Fox's Roger Friedman says Rosie will get the last laugh, because her live variety show "should be an enormous hit." It's family-friendly and positive in its celebration of Broadway, New York, and the arts. Plus comedy is what Rosie excels at. [Fox 411]
• Michael Phelps: The new spokesperson for Subway sandwiches. Do you want him on whole wheat? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Michael Phelps off the market? He flew to Birmingham to see former Miss Alabama, Doree Walker, and they went to dinner and then to the zoo the next day. Roar. [MSNBC]
• New Lost trailer! And Sawyer and Juliet are holding hands. For like a split second. [E!]
• Josh Brolin, who plays Harvey Milk's assassin in Milk, says the story of Milk made him cry. [UPI]
• If you can understand this kerfluffle surrounding Bianca Jagger's lost ring and bankruptcy and an Austrian building magnate named Reinhard Ringler, please explain. [Daily Express]
• John Malkovich is making a documentary about the plight of migrant children who cross illegally into the U.S. It will be produced by Canana Films, a production company owned by Mexican actors Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. [AP]
• Christina Ricci, Rosie Perez and Arsenio Hall will voice characters in The Hero of Color City, an animated film about a group of crayons that band together to stop a tyrant from robbing their world of color. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie "Jordan" Price in her underwear again, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Did New Kids On The Block's Donnie Wahlberg out suspected gay Jonathan Knight? [Perez Hilton]
• It's official: Jean Claude Van Damme hits on young female reporters. [23/6]
• John Cleese, 69, is dating a 27-year-old named Barbie. [The Sun]
• The headmistress of Oprah Winfrey's girls' school in South Africa, Nomvuyo Mzamane, has dropped her suit against The Huffington Post and a blogger she claimed falsely harmed her reputation. [Portƒolio]
• When it comes to cash, Bruce Willis is a die hard, heh: He invested $2 million in a Malaysian technology company and then withdrew his cash; they still owe him $900,000 and he's filed a court complaint. [AP]
• Former Senator Fred Thompson, who was on Law & Order and then tried running for president, is going back to acting. Anyone want to cast him? [AP]
• Success has made Leona Lewis "really, really lonely." Sad face! [Mirror]
• Linda Hogan was getting $40,000 a month in temporary alimony payments. Now she claims to be broke. She wants a court hearing to talk about getting more cash out of the Hulkster. [Perez Hilton]
• TRL's Damien Fahey has a new job, now that his MTV show is dead: He'll be a special correspondent for Extra. [Page Six]
• "That's debatable in Hollywood. There's the obvious answer: Angelina, for saving the planet with her adoptions and charity work." — Megan Fox, when asked who the Woman of the Year was. [E!]
• "[Four Christmases] is not for your children. It's PG-13. But my family always went to movies on Christmas Day – The Godfather, The Elephant Man. Your typical cheerful holiday fare. It's fun to go to the movies at Christmas and nice to be part of a movie that at least grown-ups and teenagers can see. Plus it means a lot when I get to have experiences where I meet young people and they say, 'You know, this is the movie that got me through a hard time' or, 'This is the movie I watch with my family.'" [Independent]
• "There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it's OK." — Gene Simmons, bruised because his band's not in the Hall of Fame. [Reuters]
• "That would be really exciting if that does happen. I hope it does. There has been some talk about it but I think it's in its very early days. But I'm practicing by dressing as a pirate every day - just in case!" — Russell Brand, on playing Captain Jack Sparrow's brother in the new Pirates Of The Caribbean flick. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I did a photo shoot for her, and she suddenly took off her T-shirt to change into another and I was like, 'Damn!' She was so beautiful, elegant, classy and timeless, and there was something really exotic about it. Very few human beings have been that sexy and desirable. I wanted to say, 'You are sculpted by God.' I was like, wow." — Rosario Dawson on Iman. [Daily Express]
• "Our new president is really a person who came from a place where they told him he couldn’t be something, in a country where no one ever thought that we would see a black president, but now that we have a black president we understand that black people, white people, Asian people, Native Americans, Latinos, no matter what color you are, we all are one. Whatever you want to be you can be in this world. You just have to put your mind to it." — Common, to elementary school students in Georgia. [Concrete Loop]
• "I can drink most men under the table and be fine! And I get louder and giggly. Do I get more affectionate? Who doesn't?" — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]

• Ladies! Get your issue of Entertainment Weekly and hold on to it tightly. Daniel Craig looks mighty fine. [Just Jared]
• Daniel Craig showed up at the London premiere of Quantum of Solace with a black sling. He is still injured! (We've seen him in a sling before.) [Guardian]
• When Courtenay Semel — whose dad used to run Yahoo, who was once Lindsay Lohan's roommate and Tila Tequila's girlfriend — was arrested in Vegas in August, she allegedly said to the security guard who was trying to prevent her from entering a club: "Do you even know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me, you dumb fuck." Then she hit him in the face. [TMZ]
• Lily Allen's PR Machine calls her "the Wordsworth of the MySpace generation." Apparently, her new album, It's Not Me, It's You, contains the following couplet: "Now I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed/I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by, I've spent ages giving head." HAHAHA. [Guardian]

• A gun thought to be the murder weapon in the Jennifer Hudson family tragedy has been found. [TMZ]
• William Balfour, the main suspect in the Hudson murders, has refused a polygraph test. [Yahoo News]
• There was a drug raid at the Hudson house in 2002: Jennifer's brother, Jason, allegedly sold crack to a registered informant. [TMZ]
• Nancy Grace spoke with the mother of William Balfour, the man who is being held in the triple murder of Jennifer Hudson's family. His mom says Jennifer Hudson's brother was selling drugs out of the house and her son was with a girlfriend at the time of the crime. [TMZ via CNN]
• Melissa Etheridge blogged about being gay and truing to adopt kids over at the Daily Beast. "I know my preference of lifemate freaks some people out," she writes. "Maybe it is just their fear of sex or intimacy. I know that they hold up the Bible and say that it's wrong… I will never forget the day earlier this year when the news came down the wire that the Supreme Court of California had declared same sex marriage legal," Etheridge recalls. "We told our children about it and all danced around the room in family glee." [Yahoo News, via E!]
• You guys, this country is going to get less beautiful if Obama doesn't get elected: Seal says he and Heidi Klum will leave the U.S. if McCain wins! Seal told this month's Vanity Fair: "If McCain is elected and America staggers on further towards the abyss, then we will leave the country. That is not a problem for us.” It's a problem for us, dude. [LA Times]
• Did you get invited to Heidi Klum's big Halloween bash? Neither did we. Seal, Debra Messing and Christian Siriano will be there. [Page Six]
• Yesterday, Matilda Ledger turned three. It was her first birthday without her dad. She celebrated at home with mom MIchelle Williams and a small group of family and friends. [News.com.au]
• Angelina Jolie was in Afghanistan last week, meeting with refugees who have returned to their post-Taliban homeland. She says: "After seeing real suffering, you never complain anymore." [People]
• Nicole Kidman keeps crying when she thinks of her baby daughter, Sunday Rose. But! "They are tears of joy." Hey, lady: You do have other kids, you know. [The Sun]
• David and Victoria Beckham: Superheroes? Stan Lee thinks so! "They're great looking, talented and colorful. Now, here's the exciting part, just imagine how cool they'd be in a humorous, good-natured show that depicts them as, you guessed it—superheroes," he says. Would they have capes? Skin-tight outfits? Would Posh be able to render you immobile with a mere glare? [Yahoo News via E!]
• This is hard to imagine, but Victoria Beckham has been training for the New York Marathon in secret. She may not run this weekend if she doesn't feel ready, but she's planning to do the one in L.A. in February. As if wearing all those heels did not punish her feet enough? [Perez Hilton]
• Denis Leary is sorry about his autism remarks, you guys. He says: "I apologize for any pain the out-of-context quotes from my book may have caused." [Daily Express]
• After Julianne Hough admitted that she had endometriosis, Lacey Schwimmer from Dancing With The Stars has announced that she, too has endometriosis. And that she never would have gotten it checked out if it wasn't for Julianne. [ET]
• The Keanu Reeves trial continues! His lawyer caused the paparazzo who filed suit to "buckle under questioning." Sorta wish it was televised. [AP]
• Madonna made an "emotional late-night call" to Guy Ritchie and "pleaded" with him to settle their divorce amicably. And by that she means having a mediation with Kabbalah rabbis instead of going to court. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a "rocky" interview in which Guy Ritchie discusses RocknRolla and, um, a Kabbalah documentary he's working on. Bet that's off! [News.com.au]
• Rosario Dawson wants to clear up the rumors that she is engaged. She's not. "Oh my God, I'd be getting calls from my grandmother being like, 'Mija! How come I had to read this first?'" Grandma's reading trashy gossip! [People]
• Jennifer Lopez is an evil genius: She keeps making crappy pilots, which TV networks don't pick up, but she still gets money for them, because they've signed a contract with her. It's twisted. [Jossip]
• Peaches Geldof made a wasted spectacle of herself at her husband's band's gig and there's "trouble in paradise." No one saw this coming. No one. [Mirror]
• Celine Dion has rescheduled a concert in Minneapolis/St. Paul due to "respiratory illness." Wasn't she just on Oprah? And what do you say to taking chances??? [Star-Tribune]
• Is Celine going to try and get knocked up again? [Daily Express]
• Natalie Cole says: "I feel sturdy and strong," despite undergoing dialysis three times a day week. AMAZING. [People]
• Derek Jeter will not admit that he is dating Minka Kelly, and when asked about A-Rod, replied: "Don't start with me about Kabbalah. I went to Catholic school." Dude, so did Madonna. [People]
• Bruce Springsteen is a party pooper! He's not having his elaborate Halloween decorations this year because his cool set-up attracts too many visitors. Boo. No, really. Boo. [AP]
• Bill Pullman's 19-year-old son was arrested in North Carolina for alleged underage drinking and possession of moonshine. No word on whether he was driving a car with doors welded shut called the General Lee. [UPI]
• Courteney Cox will be in a new ABC half-hour comedy called — uh — Cougar Town. Cox stars as a newly single 40-year-old mom. Lemme guess: She goes on dates, sometimes with younger dudes. [Variety]
• This young lady — Andrew Sachs' granddaughter — claims that Russell Brand was a "disappointment" in bed. [The Sun]
• After resigning from his radio show for saying he'd "fucked" Andrew Sachs' granddaughter, Russell Brand says "I hope to go to America now and make quite a lot of films." What kind of films, hmm? [The Sun]
• Now that the FBI has raided the home of hacker Josh Holly, who hacked Miley Cyrus' e-mail account, Miley is reportedly a "nervous wreck," worrying that more personal pictures and info will be made public, despite the government's involvement. [ONTD]
• Zac Efron talked about his hair with Ellen DeGeneres: "I actually modeled it [after] Ellen season 2," he said. "Smart," Ellen replied. "So you're copying me?" Zac confirmed, "I am in fact." [People]
• Nicolas Cage is selling his "haunted" New Orleans mansion, if you have $3.8 million. You could live near Brad and Angie! [Daily Express]
• Whoa. An apology from The Sun: "On 19 June 2007, we reported that David Hasselhoff had celebrated winning custody of his two daughters by getting drunk and making a nuisance of himself in a Hollywood bar. We now accept that David did not drink any alcohol that evening and nor did he irritate other customers. We apologise to David for any embarrassment caused." [The Sun]
• Janet Jackson tamed down part of her concert for Michigan, where state law prohibits simulated sex acts in a public space. Usually, she pulls a male fan from the crowd, ties him down and "molests" him while her dancers mime various sexual acts, including masturbation. *cough* [Yahoo News]
• Speaking of Jacksons, here are Michael and his kids. They are wearing masks, maybe because it's Halloween, maybe because it's Wednesday night. Who knows. [The Life Files]
• Hey! The Jackson 5 are reuniting! For a tour, which would include Michael and Janet! Let's pretend they're gonna look like this, okay? [NY Times]
• Paris Hilton has parted ways with Jason Moore, who has been her manager for more than 10 years. He was the one who walked away. [Daily Express]
• Josiah Leming, a homeless singer whose mother is dying of cancer, might be blocked from releasing the album he recorded because he was a contestant last season on American Idol. Shit, when you sign a reality show contract, you generally screw yourself, huh? [Page Six]
• Peter Andre is NOT leaving Katie "Jordan" Price, so you can all just relax and get a good night's sleep, okay? [The Sun]
• Ice T's wife Coco says of Halloween: "It's my day! I get to get naked! Finally!!!" Ahem. Pardon? Ice T explains: You know, a lot of people comment, but some chicks like to be wild. You come home and they're standing on the couch and they want to jump at you and tackle you. Coco's one of them girls." [NY Mag]
• Melissa Auf der Maur has an "elaborate new project" coming out: OOOM (Out of Our Minds), a "3-D concept album" that includes a CD, a half-hour film, a comic book and website. Oh! And she has a persona in the project: MAdM. Expect a "conceptual fantasy world, spawned from sound." [ONTD]
• E! has ordered a second season of Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Oh, it's simple: Vom. [AP]
• Corey Haim: Getting married. Think Feldman will attend? [ONTD]
• Beatles songs on the Rock Band video game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [WSJ]
• The Phil Spector retrial has begun; yesterday the prosector told jurors Spector murdered actress Lana Clarkson in a "petulant fit of rage." [Yahoo News]
• Kato Kaelin might be back, on a reality show called 16th Minute. Bascially, it would feature "stars" whose 15 minutes of fame are up — and give them one extra minute. Do you weep for humanity? [mediabistro]
• "I hadn't eaten all day, and I was starving. They were coming around with this bowl of brownies, and I grabbed three of them and just started scarfing them down. After that, every lyric sounded like it was the Cookie Monster yelling in my ear, and I started feeling really shitty, but I had to play through the set. I couldn't just go up to Puffy and say, 'Sorry, I ate a shit-load of hash brownies, I can't do your White Party.'" — Mark Ronson, on the refreshments at Diddy's soirée. [Page Six]
• "If I get married again, then it will be the last time." — Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "My mom's like 'Honey, don't get married.' It comes from a good place, but I'm such a romantic, I'd like to get married one day. It's fulfilling to live with a person you love." — Alexa Ray Joel, whose Mother, Christie Brinkley, went through a nasty divorce with Peter Cook. [Daily Express]
• "I spent most of the year I was 27 toxic, just completely over-medicated. I was stoked to make it past 27. Everyone was really worried. My management company were panicked, because I was out of the office, and 'pharmaceutically engaged.'" — Pete Wentz. [Daily Express]
• "I got into an argument with him. I don’t believe him as much as he believes him. He said something along the lines of, 'I only shag really stupid women.' And I said, 'I guess they would have to be.' I don’t get him at all." — Pink on John Mayer. [The Sun]
• "I can't stand Sarah Palin. I bet a woman like that has no sense of humor." — Grace Jones. [Yahoo News]

• Cloris Leachman was booted off of Dancing With The Stars. "I'm not leaving," she said. "I'm going to get a pretty costume and be here next week. I'm going to sit over there. I can't go home. Are you serious? This is a joke." [UPI]
• Despite at first being told she was too old, Cloris might be Frau Blucher in Young Frankenstein on Broadway! Producer Mel Brooks originally told her she didn't have the "stamina" and said "We're afraid the show could kill [Leachman]. We don't want her to die onstage." [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan on Dancing With The Stars? Just the kind of trainwreckery this country needs. [New York Mag]
• Speaking of Lohans, Lindsay's former bodyguard has settled a lawsuit he filed against her. [TMZ]
• This report claims that Lindsay has lost 14 pounds and is "thinner than ever." Really? She doesn't look the way she did when she was hanging with Nic Rich back in the day. [Boston.com]
• By the by, Dina Lohan calls the reports of a Lindsay/America Ferrera feud on the set of Ugly Betty "just silly." She says: "America's a doll. And they said [Lindsay] brought a posse. It was my mother and myself, and [sister] Ali. It was not a posse. We had sushi and no one trashed the room." Dina does admit: "It was long hours and when you're on a movie set it's a lot different. She's not used to television, but it was fun." [People]
• Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan in a sitcom together??? Sign, apocalypse. [News.com.au]

• BREAKING: Joaquin Phoenix is retiring from show biz. He will be working on his music now. [Extra]
• Here is a photograph of David Beckham ogling cheerleaders. (Again.) [The Sun]
• Is Angelina Jolie "burning up with jealousy" over Brad Pitt's Inglourious Basterds costar, Diane Kruger? She did star with him in Troy. [Star]
• Keanu Reeves and the paparazzo who's suing him took turns on the witness stand yesterday. Reeves told jurors he moved his car forward very slowly to try and get the photog to move out of the way, but never hit him; the photog testified the opposite, saying the car hit his knee. [AP]
• Did Madonna and Guy Ritchie have a marriage contract? In which he promised not to shout at his wife and to devote time to sex? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna has allegedly offered Guy £20million. Of her £300million fortune. Pennies! [Daily Express]
• Hey, look, Guy Ritchie's flick RocknRolla got a good review! [Yahoo News]
• When Angelina Jolie showed up at Monday night's Hollywood Film Festival Awards Gala — where she payed tribute to director Clint Eastwood — it was a total surprise. The A-list crowd reportedly "gasped audibly" when she was introduced. [People]
• At Mary-Kate and Ashley's book signing, there were incredibly elaborate rules one had to abide by, or else! [Racked]
• Here's a liveblog of the book signing. "The paparazzi are shouting 'Mary-Kate!' and 'Ashley!' and people are freaking out." [Racked]
• Oh, and there were PETA protesters outside the book signing, with signs calling the twins "fur hags from hell." [Page Six]
• Watch Britney Spears work out! Warning: Incredibly dull video of Brit repeatedly lifting weights. [MollyGood]
• Amy Poehler will not be replaced on the SNL "Weekend Update" segments; Seth Meyers will go it alone for a while. Because Amy cannot be replaced! [ET]
• First we heard that Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars went to the hospital for unknown reasons. Then we heard it was her appendix. Now she reveals it was something more personal, but her managers wanted her to lie. "It turned out I ruptured a cyst that was on my ovary. My management and the other people around me were trying to think of something else I could say that was wrong with me, but I was like, don't worry. I want to be a good role model." [TMZ]
• Julianne says: "I didn’t know but I have endometriosis. I’ve apparently had it for a long time because I’ve had this pain for about the last five years. I’m just glad I’m taking care of it now because I want to have babies some day." [People]
• Check out Bjork's well-written column about Iceland's financial meltdown. [Times of London]
• Daniel Craig jokes that if the economy's bad, glamorous locations could be dropped from Bond films. "There are plenty of places we could shoot in the British Isles," he says. "If the credit crunch hits the movie business, who knows? Bond in the Lake District, Liverpool… or Birmingham." [Telegraph]
• The case against William Balfour, the primary suspect in the murder of Jennifer Hudson's family, is building quickly. His alibi is falling apart and he was seen carrying a bottle of liquor Friday. [TMZ]
• William Balfour is a felon; he was busted in June for a "rock of cocaine" and served time for a 1999 attempted murder and vehicular hijacking conviction. [AP]
• Jennifer Hudson and her mom were "very close, very tight." Jennifer's mom hosted a block party for the whole neighborhood a few months ago. Jennifer wanted her to move, but, a neighbor says: "She didn't need a bigger house. She didn't need anyone to buy her a new car. She didn't desire or want those things. She was just supportive and stood by her daughter." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson's sister Julia writes on her MySpace: Thank you for your prayers, thank you for posting his picture on your pages as your default picture, thank you… But his lil soul is at ease, I take comfort in knowing that Julian is with my mother and my brother and most of all The Lord and now he's my angel he's protecting me…" [Perez Hilton]
• Rosie O'Donnell on Jennifer Hudson's awful ordeal: "The family tragedy of Jennifer Hudson — no words will do — a grief too hard to comprehend. Guns and domestic violence are a lethal combination — injuring and killing women every day in the United States. A gun is the weapon most commonly used in domestic homicides. In fact, more than three times as many women are murdered by guns used by their husbands or intimate acquaintances than are killed by strangers' guns, knives or other weapons combined. Contrary to many public perceptions, many women who are murdered are killed not by strangers but by men they know." [UPI]
• Coldplay dedicated a song to Jennifer Hudson at a concert in NJ on Monday night. [Perez Hilton]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than anyone else on The View, says Whoopi Goldberg. Well, no one wants to see anything happen to Joy! [Page Six]
• Jerry "Turtle" Ferrera and Jamie Lynn Sigler — Meadow from The Sopranos: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Peter Andre, husband of Kate "Jordan" Price, is in L.A. Alone. Don't know what it means. [The Sun]
• Poor Paris Hilton. She used to get paid to show up at clubs, sometimes $100,000 "appearance fee." The recession has dropped the sum she can get to $40K or less. Tragic! [Daily Mail]
• An Austrian woman allegedly sent more than 100 letters to CSI: Miami star David Caruso, stalked him, asked him for an autograph, and then sent death threats when he refused to give her one. Authorities are looking for her; they've got an international arrest warrant, and officials said she could be hiding in Mexico. Very Special Episode? [Yahoo News]
• Hmm, Hairspray 2? John Waters is in; John Travolta's not. [Perez Hilton]
• Lauryn Hill was spotted taking her kids to see Martha Stewart at a Williams Sonoma store in New Jersey. [Perez Hilton]
• This article states, "A Canadian mathematics professor says he's used his science to solve mysteries about how the Beatles created two unique musical sounds." Someone has a lot of time on his hands! [UPI]
• Headline of the day: "AC/DC blamed for dark economic times in Britain." [News.com.au]
• On the heels of 90210, next comes Melrose Place. Would Heather Locklear come back? [LA Times]
• Half nekkid pix Naomi Campbell at an art show. [Page Six]
• "The thing that gets me the most about this country is that it’s called a “free country” but everyone is a slave to their car. From my place I can walk to my loft, but nobody walks here, everyone has a car. If I walked down there in the evening, I’d be stopped three or four times by someone who thinks I’m a prostitute, inviting me to get in their car. This is why I left the States when I was 22. I saw that I was going to be trapped into buying a car so I could get to work so I could pay for my car, and I thought, that’s not for me. " — Chrissie Hynde. [BlackBook]
• "I didn't come across too well either in the majority of reviews and even with the audiences — people did not respond to it. It was a film that was made to be seen by many people. Not many people saw it and they weren't particularly fond of it, and that was shitty, it was really shitty." — Colin Farrell, on Alexander. [Reuters]
• "Bernie and I were pals. We've known each other for a long time and we had a great relationship… If you had to pick a perfect way to be remembered for an artist, especially a guy like Bernie — the joy that this film has in it, and the kind of love and adoration that people had for him, and the kind of joy he brought people is evident in this film. [The audience] will discover that he can do things that they didn't know he could do, like sing, dance and carry this dramatic arc. I'm always finishing films and looking forward to seeing them, and I know Bernie didn't see this movie. It's kind of like 'wow.' " — Samuel L. Jackson, on Soul Men, Bernie Mac's last film. CNN]
• "I watched kids of differing physical abilities and different backgrounds from around the world lose themselves in imagination and make believe. And I was moved to tears. All I can tell you is that I cried like a baby. I couldn't stop crying." — Mike Myers, on performing at Rusk Institute in The Bronx with Only Make Believe, a theater charity group that puts on plays for young children in hospitals and care facilities. [People]
• "I like to wear formfitting things because I work very hard to keep my gorgeous figure. I’m very happy to show it off and I honestly go to the women’s department often because I know I’ll find very interesting patterns and formfitting clothes. It’s an old rock ’n’ roll trick for guys to shop in the girl’s section. I’ve recently gotten some great things at Miss Sixty, Betsey Johnson and G-Star. In the women’s department, I go for size large and in men’s, I go for small." — Perry Farrell. [BlackBook]
• "For Halloween, I'm going to look like a normal girl, put some bronzer on, some spray tan on and wear some jeans. People will ask me where my costume is! I would never do this in normal life, that's why I'll do it at Halloween. It's a bit funny and people think I'm not wearing a costume but I really am." — Dita Von Teese. [ONTD]
• "How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you’re a dead man? You go to work." — Patrick Swayze. [NY Times]
• "I feel like I’m a pretty normal 22-year-old. An actor friend told me the best way to deal with attention is to exist in the 3 feet around you when you’re out with friends — you can’t be worried about people watching you." — Lauren Conrad [Cosmopolitan]

• Jennifer Aniston is "said to be" expecting John Mayer's baby. [Mirror]
• Jen may have asked John to marry her. This is according to the cover of Star magazine. More later in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• The three guys who say Lindsay Lohan held them hostage during an alleged alcohol-fueled drive have sued over the incident. Remember back in July 2007, when she hijacked a car and sped through Malibu? Her lawyer says the suit is absurd: "These guys had the night of their lives, playing with the radio and leaving the vehicle at one point and getting back in." [TMZ]
• Speaking of Lindsay, she and Samantha Ronson, Eve, Kevin Connolly and Stacy Keibler went swimming at the Roosevelt Hotel in L.A. a week after there was a dead body found in the pool. Apparently the staff never drained the pool after the body was removed and celebs and guests "were swimming in the unchanged water." As the kids say: Vom. [Page Six]

• The rumors about Katherine Heigl adopting a baby from Korea seem to be true. [Perez Hilton]
• Is George Clooney back with old flame Krista Allen? [Rush & Molloy]
• Rocco Ritchie: Seen wearing a New York Yankees T-shirt. Ouch! What will daddy say when he finds out you're celebrating the team of Mommy's new love interest? [Daily Mail]
• This report says Madonna and A-Rod will be together by Christmas. [The Sun]
• Madonna wants the kids to be with her at Christmastime because there's no Christmas in Kabbalah and she doesn't want them to have the traditional English Christmas that Guy wants to give them. [Mirror]
• Team Madonna is saying that Guy Ritchie "lived like a king" off of Madonna's money and never spent a dime of his own cash. [Daily Mail]
• Does Guy Ritchie have a new ladyfriend? Us Weekly says he's hooking up with British actress Kelly Reilly, who's in Sherlock Holmes, which Guy is directing. [Page Six]
• Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars was rushed to the hospital after having severe stomach pains backstage. [TMZ]
• Toni Braxton was eliminated from DWTS, by the by. [CNN]
• Take a minute to LOL at this picture of Justin Timberlake trying so very hard not to stare at Rihanna's ass. [Daily Mail]
• Mariah Carey calls married life "amazing" and hints she might have kids. [ET]
• Michael Vick will plead guilty to state dogfighting charges in hopes of securing an early release from federal prison and possibly returning to American football next year. [Yahoo News]
• Brad Pitt, who's staying in a mansion in Germany while filming that Tarantino movie, has changed the beer taps in his house from lager to Guinness. I want a spigot that issues forth margaritas! [The Sun]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham talks about photo shoots with her husband: "I'm hands on. I will take every shoot and pick it to pieces whereas David is a lot more easy-going — and he's the good looking one." Plus! "I know I'm not overtly sexy to most men. I'm just not one of those women." [The Sun]
• David Beckham is being "loaned" to futbol team AC Milan. [BBC Sport]
• Holly Madison and Criss Angel: Seen "super touchy feely" at the CatHouse Lounge at the Luxor Hotel in Vegas, where the illusionist has show. An unnamed source says: "They were completely enamored by each other as they kissed and held hands." There's a joke here about a magician and a bunny, right? [Perez Hilton]
• Kim Kardashian spent her 28th birthday in an Alabama medical center, where boyfriend Reggie Bush was recovering from surgery after injuring his knee. There's a snap of her dressed in a hospital gown. [People]
• The memorabilia dealer who led O.J. Simpson to a hotel room where an infamous robbery occurred filed a lawsuit Tuesday against the Dr. Phil show claiming his remarks in an interview were spliced to change their meaning. [AP]
• Ooh, here's an interview with Vincent Kartheiser, also known as Pete Campbell from Mad Men. A snippet: "Pete is an annoying guy, but you feel sorry for him in the way you feel sorry for Steve Carell in The Office. Pete's life made him who he is and I think he wonders why people aren't more sympathetic. 'Why doesn't everyone like me? Can't they see what I've been through to get here? Why can't they just give me what I deserve?'" [ONTD, via London Free Press]
• According to a statement by AMC, "the future of Mad Men on AMC is not in question." [LA Times]
• Actress Kate Walsh is heading to a swing state: "I think we're all sort of holding our breath a little bit, counting the hours down. We're still working arduously toward the goal of Obama being president—or at least I am. [Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice creator] Shonda Rhimes and I are going to Ohio to campaign this coming weekend, so we're doing everything we can." [E!]
• Eminem is backing Obama. [Mother Jones]
• Tina Fey's going to be shot by Annie Leibovitz for the cover of Vanity Fair; this posting's author muses, "I wonder if her back will be exposed." That does seem to be a Leibovitz fave! [ONTD, via Radar]
• Did you know that Tina Fey glues her ears down in order to play Sarah Palin? [Reuters]
• William Shatner says that George Takei has a "sickness" and a "psychosis" and doesn't know why he wasn't invited to Takei's wedding in September. [Perez Hilton]
• Blind item! "Which reality star has-been should tone down the drug use? The dethroned tabloid subject brought two eight balls of coke (7 grams) to a weekend getaway. She was last seen at 7 a.m., trying to find someone to play charades with her." [Rush & Molloy]
• Ashton Kutcher's been coaching football and he loves it. "I'm pleased to report that my Harvard Westlake football team is 4-2. I am blessed to step on the gridiron every week with a great group of individuals that understand that the collective force is greater that any individual can ever be," he says. "Though coaching a football team is no great step for mankind I'm finding that it's a great step for me. I'm not there to teach them, they are there to teach me." [People]
• Kate Moss wants to buy a house in Puerto Rico, a "special place where she can escape from the limelight." Don't we all??? [The Sun]
• Britney will appear on The X Factor with a "raunchy" routine. [Mirror]
• Is Britney going as Shaved-Head Britney for Halloween??? [ONTD]
• Here are some new promo shots of Christina Aguilera: Big hair, striped tights, lollipop, rocket, "sexy secretary answering the phone." [The.Life Files]
• Here's a picture of Jude Law looking like a "1970s German porn star." [The Sun]
• News that David Duchovny will sue the Mail newspaper for alleging that he was having an affair with a tennis coach has reached the UK. [Guardian]
• In this "10 Things He Doesn't Want You To Know" story, we learn that Simon Cowell likes to watch Desperate Housewives and read Jackie Collins novels. Plus 9 other things similarly mundane. [Mirror]
• Daniel Craig has turned down the chance to play Thor on the big screen. [Daily Express]
• Intel on upcoming TV shows! What to expect on Lost, NCIS, Brothers & Sisters and more! (If you like Desmond from Lost, you ought to watch.) [EW]
• Milla Jovovich's daughter, Ever, is turning one; Milla recalls the kid's birth last year: "I was in labor for 72 hours," she says. "I was up for 48 hours, for two nights. I started Halloween night. By the time I went into the hospital, it was the night of November 2. I finally went into the hospital and had the epidural." [People]
• Charlie Sheen's new bride is knocked up and word is: Twins. [Perez Hilton]
• Oh, Jesus: Mel Gibson has given his church, the Holy Family Catholic Church in Malibu, $10 million. Mel now has a church with tax free assets of $42 million; Holy Family is not recognized by the Catholic Church. Gibson is the single contributor to the church every year. [Fox 411]
• Bridget Moynahan will costar with Donnie Wahlberg in a new series from über-producer Jerry Bruckheimer for TNT. It's a cop drama set in Boston called Bunker Hill. [E!]
• Katie Price, aka Glamour Model Jordan, is no longer friends with most of her bridesmaids from her 2005 wedding, yawn. [The Sun]
• Yikes: Enrique Iglesias' plane made an emergency landing on Monday after the pilot had to shut down one of the engines while crossing the Atlantic. [Mirror]
• Brad Paisley was "arrested" at the Nashville airport in a prank orchestrated by Jewel. [People]
• A 114-year-old Illinois house where much of the action in the 1993 comedy Groundhog Day took place may soon become a bed and breakfast. [UPI]
• Headline of the day: "Paul McCartney's Wax Head Left Behind On Train." [NPR]
• "[My career] has become kind of large and it really began for me very, very small. Like me alone in my bedroom with my four-track and a pair of headphones. I just need to go back there for a while to get my bearings again and then know what to do next. I just need to let it rest for a minute." — Feist, on taking a break after touring. [Perez Hilton]
• "I gained almost 15 pounds to play the role. It was way easier – and tastier – than having to lose so much weight for Dreamgirls." — Beyoncé, on playing Etta James in Cadillac Records. [People]
• "I don't feel the need to get married. But Ashley wants children. I'll be a great aunt or godmother." — Mary-Kate Olsen. [Star Magazine]
• "Paris Hilton is still bugging me about "Stupid Girls." She came up to me in a nightclub a couple of months back and she said, 'I hope you realize that the person I seem to be in the press is really just an act and the real me is really smart'. I said, 'Just get over it. The song was like years ago. Quit bugging me.' I still take a pop at Jessica Simpson in my new video. That girl hates me. But it's just that her name happens to be a good rhyme fit for lots of lyrics. Those girls are something else. There's part of me that thinks they're such losers, but there's also a part of me that admires how they actually play the game. I'm so bad at playing the Hollywood game. I just hate all that fake stuff." — Pink. [ONTD]
• "Jamie Lynn is NOT pregnant and I wish everyone would stop being so judgemental because if you weren’t having sex at 16 it probabaly means you were very unattractive. She just happened to get pregnant and then did the right thing by not having an abortion." — Diane, a "friend" of Jamie Lynn Spears. [CelebSlam]
• "To be honest, there's nothing I want to talk about less than politics. I'd rather vomit and lick it up. I like Obama, but he's not gonna win. Trust me, I know my people." — Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders in Blender. [Page Six]

• Victoria Beckham has been approached by Fox to host her own fashion reality TV show. Posh would travel around America — some small, "backwater" towns — finding style-challenged people, and giving them fashion make-overs. Geek to chic! [Marie Claire]
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a play in New York on Sunday, but spent the whole time texting. Rude! [Page Six]
  
• Though he's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze's doctor says he "has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far." [People]
  
• Demi Moore is on the cover of Bazaar and talks about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher inside: "People made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. Age wasn't what I was thinking about, but to the rest of the world it was a very big deal." [Perez Hilton]
  
• Demi's family portrait is hot. [People]

• Cosby Show alum Raven Symoné, 22: "I want to have a record label and a licensing company. I want to have a publishing company and a management company where I can launch all kinds of artists. I want to do everything. I want to be Disney." Get it girl! [LA Times]
• Terri Irwin faces a court battle over a million dollar debt at her late husband's Australia Zoo. A debt collector is suing the zoo and Terri in a case that involves an offshore bank with ties to a corrupt tax official. Messy stuff. [Times]
• Bai Ling pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace in her case regarding the theft of Star magazines and batteries. She was ordered to pay a fine of $700, and you can now go back to not thinking about her, if you want. [People ]
• Jamie Lynn Spears will be a guest star on an ABC comedy called Miss Guided, premiering March 20. Judy Greer stars in the sit com and JLS (who wasn't knocked up when she shot the show) plays a troubled student; Ashton Kutcher also guest stars. They really really really want people to watch. [People]
• Scott Weiland pleaded innocent to his DUI charge. He's free on bail and goes to court April 4. [Reuters]
• Jack Osbourne: Sings like his dad. At least when doing karaoke. [Page Six]
• Josh Kelly on those pix of he and Katherine Heigl and the moving truck: "Katherine and I are moving boxes and furniture into our new house in LA and this gang of photographers were there snapping away at us. So I say to them, 'You guys are just going to sit there taking pictures, making money while we bust our asses?'" That's when the paparazzi started lifting boxes. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick would not have a kid if it weren't for herbal supplement Airborne, cough cough. [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven continues to hit on women everywhere, yawn. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hit show that has everyone guessing about its closeted male star also has a female co-star who plays for the home team?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which floundering pop star is hoping a unisex clothing line will rehab her nonexistent singing career?" [Rush & Molloy]
• The court has extended Jamie Spears' conservatorship of Britney to July 31; though it could end earlier if Brit's mental state keeps improving and stabilizes. It seems like she's in a good place, here's to hoping she keeps it up! [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi allegedly says, "I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her. I am innocent. I am Britney's friend and would never hurt her." Sure, sure. [MSNBC]
• Showgirls star Elizabeth Berkley will host Bravo's new show, Step It Up & Dance. But will she keep her clothes on? [TMZ]
• That boy from American Idol with the pretty pretty lips went to a school for "at-risk" kids and had "issues" or something. Wow, his lips are so pretty. [TMZ]
• Valerie Bertinelli on Eddie Van Halen's undisclosed health crisis: "I really don't think it's anybody's business." [People]
• Producer Linda Perry is suing over royalties she's owed from James Blunt's album. [Reuters]
• The True Colors Tour is coming! Cyndi Lauper, the B-52s and, um, Carson Kressley. [USA Today]
• Lily Allen won't play the Isle of Wight Festival in the UK because her new album is behind schedule. But leave her alone, she's been through a lot. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt attended the memorial service of Heidi's stepbrother yesterday; he died after slipping off of a roof and was a veteran of combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. [People]
• Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough, 19, will be a virgin until she gets married. She also does not drink, smoke or do drugs. Goody two-shoes. What do you do? [People]
• Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, is a "fat-fighting guru" for a new TV show in the UK. She will help mere, common people with their weight issues. [BBC News]
• Jerry O'Connell will take part in a race across the Scottish Highlands. Kayaking, rappelling and that kind of stuff is involved, yet the race is sponsored by a liquor. Interesting. [UPI]
• Bruce Willis is a stoner. [Perez Hilton]
• Producers from The View are not wooing Cindy Crawford, which is too bad. [MSNBC]
• MTV won't air the new Gnarls Barkley video featuring Justin Timberlake because it could trigger an epileptic seizure. View at your own risk! [MSNBC]
• Danny Bonaduce will host a child star reality show, on VH1, which sounds healthy. Not. [UPI]
• Death threats against Daniel Radcliffe? How could anyone hate Harry Potter? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• You know John Waters' Cry-Baby is coming to Broadway, right? (I am so there.) [Page Six]