• El oh el: It appears none of the celebrity weeklies have bought exclusive rights to pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding this weekend.

A source says they're not worried, because chances are, the pix will end up in all the mags: "They'd rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life & Style than be on the cover of a magazine like OK! that isn't going to sell. They need to make money, and so does the magazine. The formula is changing," spills a source. [MSNBC Scoop]

• In this video of concert footage, Britney's extensions get ripped out of her head and left behind on a couch. [Perez Hilton]
• Kudos to TMZ for the headline, "Britney Weaves It All On Stage." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen celebrated the end of her tour by having a "massive ice cream fight" in her dressing room. But she paid the clean-up bill: "Cost me $2,000. End of tour, time to get mashed." [The Sun]
• In case you forgot that Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz has a job, he totally walked the runway in a Jeffrey Fashion Cares fashion show. How do we feel about those white trousers? [WWD]
• Even though Miley Cyrus is with Justin Gaston, is she still hung up on her ex, Nick Jonas? Were they making out recently? Are they MFEO (made for each other)? [Gatecrasher]
• Jay Leno, who hasn't missed work in years, checked himself into a hospital with a "mystery illness." [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton's "BFF," Brittany Flickinger, was in a car crash in Hollywood last night; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and slammed her head into the windshield. Luckily, she escaped with only a chipped bone in her leg. [TMZ]
• Behold: Video of Justin Timberlake, in foxy glasses, talking about his mancrush on LeBron James: "He just lights me up!" He also declares Caddy Shack as the best sports movie ever. [Rolling Stone]
• Ashton Kutcher's Twitter can now be considered a place to break new artists; he wrote about an unsigned singer/songwriter named Alex Highton and now the guy's MySpace is blowing up. [Telegraph]
• Guess who stars in one of Kanye West's next videos? Rihanna. Yeezy says, "She's an amazing talent…Collaborating with her is always a pleasure!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Amy Winehouse's dad flew to St. Lucia yesterday to check on the singer. Will they go horseback riding together? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé wants to do Broadway in a couple of years, when she's settled down and had some rugrats with Jay-Z: "It's my ideal job," she explains. "I'll be able to go to the theater every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food — maybe I'll know how to cook by then — and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian on Miss California, Carrie Prejean: "I don't agree with her narrow mindedness and neither do a lot of people… Everyone has the right to be happy and be treated equally and I think not allowing gay marriage just kind of puts us back." But KK also says: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stood up for what she believes in so she should be happy with that backlash." [People]
• Is Pam Anderson down and out? Or is Courtney Love high? Wait. Don't answer that. Courtney says: "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu." [Page Six]
• This piece about Russell Crowe begins: "He is a man's man - or, rather, he is the kind of man in whom shabby, ageing, overweight, altogether untidy and unresolved males can see their manly image. In other words, Russell Crowe seems more than happy taking very little care of himself, his appearance or his 'glamour.'" Why don't you tell us how you really feel? [Guardian]
• Jerry Seinfeld's grandparents arrived in this country via Ellis Island, and their story will be in the spotlight on May 19, when the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation bestows a "family heritage" award on Seinfeld. [NY Times]
• Parker Posey is no longer dating Keanu Reeves and has moved on to a graphic designer and sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. As seen in this picture, they're super happy and adorbs. [NY Mag]
• Aww, pictures of Slumdog Millionaire stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto nuzzling up to each other over lunch in Israel — where Pinto is filming — will melt your cold, tiny heart. [Daily Mail]
• This report calls Kate Middleton Prince William's "bride in waiting," and notes that it's been discovered that she's related to Swallows And Amazons creator Arthur Ransome. [Daily Express]
• Blogger Julia Allison lives in the same apartment building as Rosie O'Donnell. Wednesday she posted a Twitter which read: "Holy shit. My neighbor Rosie O'Donnell has been having a knock down drag out screaming match with Kelli for the last hour. Sad. :( " Anywho, JA deleted the post, maybe because it's an invasion of privacy, but it's sorta too late. [Ed note: This will be the only mention of Ms. Allison on this blog for all of 2009.] [Gawker]
• Dane Cook was on Larry King Live, talking about his half-brother and former manager who embezzled millions from him: "It's a terrible betrayal. But hopefully justice will be served and I can move on with my life." [ET]
• Sniffle: Elton John, Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger have lost "huge chunks" of their personal fortunes due to the economic crisis. [Reuters]
• Stephen Dorff has joined the cast of the porn industry comedy Born To Be A Star, which is produced and co-written by Adam Sandler. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which closeted - and married - actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff." [Gatecrasher]
• "Although I'm her friend, [I don't want to defend her to her detractors] because that's their right as well. They feel really strongly about their opinion for pro-gay rights, and that's great." — Miss USA on Miss California. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized I was spending hours and hours in the middle of the night signing autographs. Unless I had assistants forging letters and signatures I knew I couldn't continue. So I posted a message on the internet saying: 'If I can't do it honestly, I won't do it any more.'" — Viggo Mortensen, on answering fan mail. [Daily Mail]
• "He called me and said, 'You know let's do it right away.' It was really emotional. I think the only way he could have come back was right after because his family was all there to support his boys. Liam is heroic. He came back and finished. I think he's trying to absorb [what's happened] ... He's suddenly a single parent with absolutely no preparation for that. But he is surrounded by people that really love him. There is a lot of support." — Director Atom Egoyan, on Liam Neeson, who returned to the set of the film Chloe days after his wife Natasha Richardson died. [People]
• "We're just extremely careful with our shit. I keep a CD with me, I'm the only one who usually has a CD. Maybe me and Dre… Other than that, nobody has it." — Eminem, on how his new album avoided getting leaked. [Rolling Stone]
• "Watching it was horribly unhealthy for me. You think that would help keep me sober, you know seeing myself as this raving lunatic...It absolutely triggered these crazy urges to get loaded." — Steve-O on watching his upcoming documentary about his addiction and recovery. [E!]
• "For some reason people think like if you tell someone they're too thin that's OK. But if you tell someone they're too heavy that's insulting… It hurts either way. I'm the same weight I was before I was pregnant. I've been pregnant for two years in a row. I'm the same weight I was on 90210. I'm the same weight I was before I met Dean and we got married. It's the same." — Tori Spelling. [AP]
• "If you read some of his early-life autobiography, it's horrible... the amount of mental anguish he has to go through, just to have any kind of even vaguely sexual relationship. It's really depressing what he's going through in his head. Dali had a massive fear of penetration – penetrating someone or being penetrated… [As for the love scenes with a man,] I think girls almost really like watching something like that. From what I've read, people really get excited about that – it sounds really sexy!" — Robert Pattinson on playing Salvador Dali. [Independent]
• "Marijuana has always been that drug that united people. It's always been on the verge of being legal. It's hardly a drug really. When people look at marijuana, they look at it as an enjoyment of connecting." — Redman. [NY Daily News]
• "Most of the time, songs that I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less. 'Love Story' I wrote on my bedroom floor in about 20 minutes. When I get on a roll with something, it's really hard for me to put it down unfinished. — From "10 Questions For Taylor Swift." [Time]
• "I don't even know what 'tweeting' means ... but it sounds dirty!" — Michelle Trachtenberg. [Gatecrasher]

• Yes, it's fashion week, yes, there are better things to talk about, and yes, we'll get to them after the jump, but first: Toby Keith's clothing line debuted. It's worse than we thought. [TMZ]

• London's fashion week, small but mighty as always, starts today and only runs for four days. It's a strange paradox of British fashion that, while some of the top designers — McQueen, Galliano — are from the UK, and London's Central St. Martins is acknowledged as one of the best fashion schools in the world, London fashion week has never quite managed the automatic prestige of New York's, Milan's, or Paris's (which is, not incidentally, where Galliano and McQueen both show). [Reuters]
• André Leon Talley went nuts for Vera Wang's show in her new downtown store. [The Cut]
• Who invited Julia Allison to Philip Lim? He doesn't make pink clothes. [Observer]
• WWD gets its own loving spoof! Worldwide Womenswear Digest, or WWWD has stories like "THE PARENT TRAP: Bee Shaffer shocked to learn most parents don't have yearly hug limits" and "Diane von Furstenberg Debuts Controversial Spinach Wrap Dress." Awesome. [The Cut]
• Leanne Marshall, who won this show called Project Runway this one time, completed a cross-country move and finished her entire fall collection in a few weeks. She says the only thing that's hard about designing from her Brooklyn apartment is keeping her cat out of her sewing. [People]
• Bravo's replacement for their lost treasure, to be called The Fashion Show, will be hosted by Isaac Mizrahi, Fern Mallis...and Kelly Rowland. [Variety]
• In the front row at Calvin yesterday afternoon, Eva Mendes explains the concept of a fashion show to newbie Kate Beckinsale: "It's a little like going to a museum and seeing a beautiful exhibit, except it's emotion." Did she mean, "in motion"? [WWD]
• SIR — Thank you for your measured post considering the economic value of the fashion industry. I'll resist the temptation to call any of the economists who would argue that "creative innovation that matters is somebody in a lab at MIT coming up with a more efficient battery or solar cell. It is somebody at Stanford coming up with a way to make computers smarter or cancer more preventable. I just can't get excited about some frou-frou fashion designers and the magazines that feature their creations" pointy-headed misogynist assholes (who probably dress poorly and were made fun of for it in high school). [The Economist]
• There is justice! Crocs lost $33 million last quarter. [WWD]
• The three shareholders in De Beers — a mining company, the government of Botswana, and the family of company chairman Nicky Oppenheimer — have together loaned the diamond company $500 million as sales have softened because of the economy. The loan is interest-free for two years. De Beers had record sales in the first three quarters of 2008, but the last quarter was flat, and analysts expect 2009 to be even worse. [Reuters]
• Wholesale prices of US-made apparel rose in the month of January, despite concerns about deflation. [WWD]
• Brazilian designer Alexandre Herchcovitz is able to afford to show in New York partly because of his home country's lavish support of the arts. This season's show cost $170,000, around $70,000 of which came from the Brazilian government. I'm always mystified by the huge numbers some designers give as their budget costs for models — Herchcovitz claims he spent $90,000 on models a year ago — and I have to wonder, are they counting the "cost" of the trade they offer as payment to the girls who work the show? Because as far as I can recall, Herchcovitz is one of the many to "pay" in clothes. Not that giving away clothes isn't a cost to a designer, but I don't think it's unreasonable to recognize that providing some of your product for free is a different class of cost than actual out-of-pocket expenditures. [NY Times]
• Versace is dipping a nervous toe into the turbid waters of internet retail. [WWD]
• And Celine Dion wants you to smell Chic like her this April. [WWD]
• After Victoria Beckham agreed to sell her upscale line of dresses exclusively through Bergdorf's, Saks, which had been among the first to support her dVb by Victoria Beckham denim line, decided to drop the pants. Kitson and Henri Bendel stopped restocking dVb last year because of poor sales. [NY Post]

ANA MARIE: I AM AWAKE!

MEGAN: Hooray! I am too. Are you appropriately grumpy about it?

ANA MARIE: Could be worse. We could be talking about BLOGGING AND POLITICS.

MEGAN: Like, oh my God, Ana, when are bloggers going to get ethics like real journalists?

ANA MARIE: As soon as we gain enough power to mislead a country into a stupid war.
The best thing about this election so far, I have to say, is not so much that the press has goaded itself into becoming more watchdog-y, but that they're doing the watchdogging with such petulant snarkiness. Almost like bloggers. From the NYT's editorial board blog yesterday:

What’s Spanish for ‘Lies’?
By The Editorial Board

It's "mentiras," I think, but I'm sure that's not the point!

MEGAN: It is way more than I thought, since I was too busy laughing at the thought of the New York Times editorial board getting so upset that John McCain was misleading voters. I guess it's a fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and we'll publish a number of glowing pieces about how Saddam has nukes kind of thing.

ANA MARIE: Almost like he was exaggerating the threats posed by Iraq or something!
Fool me three times and we'll write a snarky blog post! THAT WILL SHOW HIM.

MEGAN: What if all the newspapers became actually snarky? Like, what if they decided that the only way to compete with new media was to out-blog us? Would The Onion have to become an outlet of serious journalism? Would democracy as we know it die? (You did see that article about how cynicism is killing democracy...)

ANA MARIE: WHAT IF NICK DENTON RAN THE NYT? I think we would develop a shortage of first-hand journalism. But EVERYONE would know who Julia Allison is.

MEGAN: You don't need to leave your desk to know stuff, obviously! Wait, are there people who don't know about Julia Allison yet? I thought she was part of the citizenship exam by now.

ANA MARIE: She's actually being launched into space soon. So that she's, like, one of the first things aliens learn about us. You know: Beethoven, math... Julia Allison.

MEGAN: They'll like her better than math, that's for sure. Gawker certainly does.

ANA MARIE: There's some kind of segue between Julia and this about Tucker Bounds, but I'm still coffee-less, so I'll let you make it. They really need to stop sending the twelve-year-old intern out to the morning shows. Or cable shows, I mean. I think I was thinking "morning show" because he's getting his ass kicked, in all cases, by heavily rougued faux-next-girls! GIRLS!

MEGAN: Actually, the man just needs to, like, fucking prepare before he goes. Your candidate is out lying like he's Dick Cheney or something, you gotta put your big boy panties on just like Ari Fleischer did and take it. I think the real problem is that Tucker Bounds likes getting spanked by hot women.

ANA MARIE: YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL. He totally knows the shit the campaign is trying to pull and just enjoys being called on it. "TELL ME AGAIN HOW WE LIE, CAMPBELL. MAKE IT HURT."

MEGAN: "I know I've been naughty, Megyn. Tell me I've been naughty."

ANA MARIE: Oh, breaking!

Senator McCain, on a round of seven morning shows, says on CNBC’s Squawk Box that he favors a 9/11-commission-style body to look into the Wall Street meltdown: “Everybody’s at fault here – the regulatory agencies, who were clearly asleep at the stick … That’s why I think maybe we ought to have a 9/11 commission type thing, because this crisis is very serious and … certainly a threat to our economy. … I understand the economy. I was chairman of the Commerce Committee that oversights every part of our economy. I have a far, far longer record of addressing these issue than my opponent does. And I certainly don’t think we should raise taxes in these difficult times.”

MEGAN: Is oversight a verb?

ANA MARIE: Look, he was a POW, ok? He is allowed to verb anything.

MEGAN: Wait, John McCain was tortured? I didn't know that.

ANA MARIE: Do you think somewhere lying around the WH is a memo entitled, "Wall Street Determined to Strike Inside the US"?

MEGAN: So, by the way, the 9/11 Commission report only took a year to commission and two to write, which means McCain's financial crisis commission will issue its report on the current financial crisis in 2011, which is 2 years before McCain wants to start pulling troops out of Iraq but possibly a little late to have any effect on the deepening financial crisis. But, read his lips: No New Taxes.

ANA MARIE: Speaking of which, I actually wrote someone on the McCain campaign yesterday to ask if the candidate had finished Alan Greenspan's book by now.

MEGAN: And did you get a response that wasn't vetted 15 ways from Sunday?

ANA MARIE: Er, yes.

MEGAN: I wonder if Steve Schmidt has taken away everyone's BlackBerries.

ANA MARIE: Maybe he's just installed some kind of filter. The answer I got was, basically, "Fuck off." It was a little nicer than that.

MEGAN: I think, then, that Steve Schmidt is controlling everyone's BlackBerries.

ANA MARIE: No, Steve would have actually written "Fuck off." He's from Jersey, you know, where that is a term of endearment.

MEGAN: Maybe that's the filter! He types "fuck off" and a computer somewhere translates it into something polite. I could totally use one of those, if they made it into one of those little boxes you use to talk after throat cancer surgery.

ANA MARIE: Speaking of cancer (I'm getting better at segues!): Bristol Palin's tanning bed.

MEGAN: I was just thinking, actually, that Todd looks equally suspiciously tan for the start of winter. But he works outside, if he wanted to submit to a tan line inspection to prove it's not from the bed, I'm happy to judge.

ANA MARIE: Wait, isn't he part Eskimo? Does that make your question racist?

MEGAN: He's like an eighth or something? I have been too busy noticing that he's cute and kind of silent which is how I too prefer the cute men.

ANA MARIE: And I think he's also controlling and a little insane. He's perfect for you!

MEGAN: Insane, definitely! I try to only date the mentally ill, it makes it so much easier to blame the break-ups on them. Controlling, well, that shit just annoys me in about 2 seconds. I dumped a guy once for questioning who I was talking to on the telephone.

ANA MARIE: So you probably wouldn't let him, say, write your state budget, huh?

MEGAN: I probably wouldn't let him know the balance in our joint checking account.

ANA MARIE: So here's a question: What are the gender politics of Todd being so up in his wife's business, as it were?

MEGAN: Well, metaphorically speaking, I am all for Todd being all up in his wife's business.

ANA MARIE: I am actually quite sure that they have hot Christian sex all the time.

MEGAN: But, other than that, it's a little weird on a state level. Especially because state budgets are really complex and stuff, and I don't recall Todd having a degree in public management or accounting. Or anything, really.

ANA MARIE: So when HRC got all up in Bill's (completely literal) business, that was ok... Because she was sharing expertise.

MEGAN: Well, only it wasn't, right? Because then she was a nagging, first-wifely harpy. At least that was the Republican talking point...

ANA MARIE: It was. And now the Dem talking point looks like it might be, "Todd is pulling all the strings, a bullying, first-dudely Machiavelli." From my friend Mike's admittedly amusing Salon piece, out last night:

"No one has accused Todd Palin of interfering in state business for his own personal benefit — instead, the situation has remained somewhat inscrutable, if not odd. According to local politicos and observers, he lurks around the capitol if he doesn't have anything better to do, which, since he works seasonal jobs in oil and fishing, is fairly often."

MEGAN: I love how he's "lurking." And that with 4 and now 5 kids at home, he doesn't have anything better to do.

ANA MARIE: But here's the thing: switch the genders — our standard mode of cultural critique this year, practically so mandatory that I'm thinking Chris and I will just go as each other for Halloween — and what do you think? "Sarah Palin, with 5 kids at home, has no right lurking around her husband's place of work like she has any idea what's going on."

MEGAN: I'm of two minds, as I am with everything else. On the one hand, free advice is good. Free decision-making, not so good.

ANA MARIE: I agree. It's just really awesome to see Rs having to grapple with this. I wrote a piece a couple of months ago about how, along with Woodstock and the moon landing, another major event McCain missed while in prison (yes, he was in a Vietnamese prison! true story!) was the women's movement, which is obviously where a lot of these questions were first framed on a national level. He's totally having to make up for lost time, in a way, but without any of the intellectual or historical work that went into the first round of discussions.

MEGAN: I think a lot of her politicians missed the women's movement in some pretty significant ways.

ANA MARIE: They weren't even really the "first" of course.
Well, yes. But do you get what I mean about how the R's new-found feminism is missing a lot of the context and thoughtfulness that, well, makes it a real argument rather than a talking point?

MEGAN: Well, I think the Republican party's newfound "feminism" is born of, oh, God, too early, what's the word that means you're taking advantage of the situation? Anyway, I think the Republican party hasn't found feminism.

ANA MARIE: You're right. Or, rather, they've just found the word "sexism."

MEGAN: They've found the power of the word sexism to attract a certain class of voters.

ANA MARIE: Well, weirdly, it's not! I mean, HRC supporters ARE NOT flocking to Palin

MEGAN: And they've discovered the sheer joy of Schadenfreude, watching all of this. No, they're not flocking if they are committed Dems, but I think plenty of Hillary supporters weren't committed Dems.

ANA MARIE: The sexism charge is mainly working as a proxy for the standard "media bias" charge. Which is as old as the hills, though not as old as John McCain.

MEGAN: I think the sexism charge is connecting hard with Republican women, bringing up old grievances with feminists and the feminist movement connected to their life choices. The idea that feminists disrespect women who stay home with the kids or are pro-life, those feelings.

ANA MARIE: So, really, they're just co-opting the words. We're not actually having a productive discussion.

MEGAN: It's politics! Productive discussions aren't allowed.

ANA MARIE: Which makes it a perfect time to segue back into Julia Allison!

MEGAN: Um, she called herself a journalist.

ANA MARIE: But, and this is important:

"I don't want people to think that I think I'm Woodward and Bernstein."

Which sort of makes me think she's actually Sarah Palin.

MEGAN: I believe journalism just died. Actually, I think she slunk into its hospital room, climbed on it's bed, slapped it around, smothered it with a pillow and then stabbed it 39 times for emphasis.

ANA MARIE: I was just thinking: I think Julia Allison had sex with journalism, THEN killed it. It's the best end journalism can hope for. It would be much worse to have sex with Woodward and Bernstein before dying.

The first criticism we read of the piece complained that it appeared in the paper's 'Sunday Styles' section whereas a piece about male bloggers wouldn't. I have to take issue with that, since the 'Styles' section ran a piece about male bloggers (including Crappy Hour guest Spencer Ackerman) about 5 months ago. So, it's not exactly true that the Styles section isn't the appropriate place for the piece per se.

However, it is interesting that BlogHer took place the same weekend at the DailyKos mega-conference Netroots Nation, a bit of a sore subject with some of the political bloggers at BlogHer who called the "scheduling conflict" disappointing. NetRoots Nation had guest appearances by Al Gore and Nancy Pelosi, which would've garnered headlines regardless of where they appeared. But, a cursory search of the Times' archives shows no less than 10 stories filed with the paper or its blogs during Netroots Nation, including several on panel discussions held at the conference. This weekend's story on BlogHer was the first the Times had filed about the event.

Was a panel discussion on the use of profanity in political blogging of more pressing important to Times readers than Michelle Obama's first blog post or the aforementioned discussion of how to get taken seriously as a woman political blogger (both of which were mentioned in passing amid a rundown of corporate sponsors)? Or is the Times just trying to prove the point of the BlogHer founders and users — that women just don't get taken quite as seriously as men? Maybe we should ask Julia Allison, or the 5 other pretty bloggers that ought to be on magazine covers. She, at least, seems to get plenty of press.

Blogging’s Glass Ceiling [NY Times]
Why Are All The Big Political Bloggers Men? [Glamocracy]
New York Times Thinks Women Bloggers Are a Fashion Story [the f word]
Washington Doesn’t Sleep Here [NY Times]
Easing Off Online Obscenities [NY Times]
Five Female Bloggers (Not Named Julia Allison) Who Should Be On The Cover Of A Magazine [The Frisky]

• Cudmudgeonly uncle-anchor Jack Cafferty has disappointed millions of women everywhere by saying, "Viagra is used to treat a medical condition, erectile dysfunction. Birth control is a lifestyle choice," when discussing John McCain's little birth control gaffe. Jack, sweetie, birth control pills do treat medical conditions and there's a good economic argument (pregnancy is expensive) for covering them. Erectile dysfunction, however, is God's way of telling you to keep it in your pants, old man. [Crooks & Liars]
• John McCain has proved a disappointment to the Secret Service by letting slip details of Barack Obama's highly secret-for-his-own-safety trip to Iraq and Afghanistan. Man, he really will do anything to keep playing his commercial about how Obama's never been. [Talking Points Memo, The Atlantic]

• By the way, McCain also doesn't know if Obama is a Socialist or not. I don't know that John McCain doesn't drink Cindy's drug-filled urine as a sedative, either. What don't you know? [HuffPo]
• The full list of Starbucks closures is now available. Caffeinated Washingtonians rejoice: Only one in D.C.! [HuffPo]
• Harold Ford got booed at Netroots Nation because he used to work at Fox News, but not because he used to date Julia Allison. [HuffPo]
• The German government has decided to let Obama speak — at the Victory Column, not the Brandenburg Gate because the Bushies kinda asked them not to. Wankers. [HuffPo]
• Scott Peterson has a blog. I think we can finally call this blogging trend over; no one's ever going to believe we're normal people now. [CNN]
• Greta Van Susteren, like, totally swears that she knows someone who knows someone whose anti-Obama copy was watered down at CNN, not that it ever happened to her and she's totally got journalistic freedom (if not freedom from the plastic surgery requirement) at Fox News and is she up for a new contract soon or something? [Fishbowl NY]

SPENCER: It is 8:11 a.m. and the dude sitting near me at the BWI airport 50s-kitsch diner counter just ordered a 20 oz Miller Lite
MEGAN: Well, at least is isn't a 40? I am sitting in the hallway outside of security watching the tourists parade on by and watching the security people wonder what I'm doing. The security lady says it's coldest in the hallway between the A and B gates, a truth to which I can currently attest.
SPENCER: Interesting fact about the difference between A & B gates: for the purpose of eating or using the bathroom, you're better off using B, even if your flight is at A. No bathrooms at A, and the only stuff to eat is like Arby's and such.
MEGAN: Ooh, I remember that but please don't remind me how much I need to pee after all that coffee I drank to be awake enough to drive you up here. So, I feel like we should lead off with the story about how when Jesse Jackson suggested castrating Barack Obama, he also dropped the n-word, in reference to, well, pretty much every African-American person in America.
SPENCER: Also I bought an issue of Wired for the first time ever — I had a girlfriend who subscribed and my lack of interest in the magazine was a minor issue between us — because Julia Allison is on the cover and I still do not exactly know who she is, but she has extremely impressive cleavage.
MEGAN: Really? If you wanted a picture of impressive cleavage, you didn't have to pay for it.
SPENCER: Ah yes. You know who's upset that she doesn't get to use the N Word? Internment-camp apologist Michelle Malkin. Yes you have very impressive tits and I would never say otherwise.
MEGAN: I prefer that such knowledge be widespread, I will admit it. Also, how much does Michelle Malkin really suck, truly?
SPENCER: Hahahaha the waitress just brought me the Miller Lite by mistake
MEGAN: Dude, the man bought you a beer, it's only polite to accept.
SPENCER: I suppose with my Blackwater t-shirt and tattoos I look like the sort of air traveller who'd have a beer with his omelet
MEGAN: I can't believe that you're getting hit on by dudes this morning and I am not, I need to step up my game.
SPENCER: What is it with right-wingers and their desire to say the n-word? Like, what's in it for you?
MEGAN: Spencer, I mean, obviously, it's not faaaaaair that black people get to use the "n" word and get to be all offended about it when other people do. It's, like, practically anti-American. It's hating on our freedoms (to be racist, disgusting sonsofbitches).
SPENCER: Life is unfair to Michelle Malkin but I feel it is so for reasons independent of her inability to type the N-word.
MEGAN: I don't think like is unfair to MM. I think she is probably pretty damn content with her life. If we want to talk unfair lives, we'd talk about my life. Or yours.
SPENCER: So what are we supposed to believe follows from the apparent fact that Jesse Jackson used the N-word? The significance is...? My life is pretty great right now: I'm about to fly to Austin to attend and speak at a conference of the anti-American terrorist supporting left. i shaved my mustache down and grew out my beard so i could look like a Salafist.
MEGAN: Well, I think it's the hypocrisy of him being part of the campaign to get rappers and the like to stop using it.
I did notice your beard was longer, but I don't notice when the 'stache is shorter, I'll admit.
SPENCER: Oh that was Jackson? Should I blame him for the fact that Nas' record is called Untitled and not N Word? I feel like this is the sort of thing that only a non-black person could possibly find hypocritical
MEGAN: Yes, he was one of the anti-n-word campaign which, frankly, I'm not completely opposed to as I cringe when I hear someone say the word regardless of race, but it is the height of hypocrisy to moralize about it publicly and then use it privately. And/or to threaten to cut off the balls of the first black candidate for President when he suggests that some black men should take responsibility for their children when you've knocked up your mistress.
SPENCER: Like, I don't agree with this argument, but there's nothing a priori hypocritical about saying the n-word but not wanting prominent black figures to use it as the titles of their books or albums or movies or what-have-you. I don't think it's hypocritical! oftentimes I say things in unguarded moments that it's better not see print/publication/distribution. that's an issue of judgment, not hypocrisy. as Dave Chappelle taught us, a world in which everyone constantly keeps us real is not one we'd actually like to live in.
MEGAN: Well, I think that if you're going to argue for a word to be banned from use, then it shouldn't be a word that you're wont to drop yourself. Also, I'm mostly just disappointed in Jesse Jackson the way I am in Geraldine Ferraro, because I thought he was so awesome when I was a little kid and now he's just another big jerk. Plus, whenever I hear Rainbow Coalition, I think Rainbow Connection and now I feel like he has besmirched Kermit.
SPENCER: Have you ever listened to his "I Am Somebody" speech? It's beyond awesome. liberals should remember their history — we tend to think of the 80s as a wasteland of Reaganesque triumphalism but there were some real high points, and Rev JJ's 1984 convention speech is one of them
MEGAN: No, I completely agree. 1984 is really the first election I remember (him and Geraldine being little girl highlights of mine) and so that's really the source of my disappointment.
SPENCER: Jesus fucking CHRIST the Miller Liters are shouting out "Strong Island" to some women who sensibly left the diner-counter in a hurry. ok now i need you to explain something to me
MEGAN: Oh, God, I'm glad I'm not with you right now.
SPENCER: On our internal FDL email listserv, my blogospheric colleagues noted that there was a near-riot at an IndyMac branch in California. I have no idea why or what happened, nor what IndyMac, like, is, so I'm counting on you to explain.
MEGAN: Um, so, I take that back, a woman just sat down next to me out here and started clipping her toenails.
SPENCER: Done with breakfast now!
MEGAN: Ok, so, IndyMac: was a bank in California, still sort of is. The Feds moved in last Friday after it was determined that they didn't have enough money to meet their depository obligations because of tighter credit and foreclosures. Though, it might be eventually facing fraud charges.
SPENCER: and this is Housing-Crisis-related?
MEGAN: Yes, mostly. I mean, housing crisis and financial mismanagement, which are basically being seen as one and the same these days. But, so, like, if you didn't know, any savings accounts and CDs and the like are insured by the federal government up to — and only up to — $100,000.
SPENCER: I did not know
MEGAN: And the FDIC has determined that up to 10,000 IndyMac customers have deposits in excess of the FDIC limits, which is like up to $1 billion in uninsured deposits, and the FDIC expects to have to pay $8 billion + for the bail out. But those people with more money in than the FDIC insured, those people will basically be considered the bank's creditors and will wait years or more to get their money back (if they ever get their $$ back), which is why people were freaking the fuck out yesterday
SPENCER: Okay, I think I found the incident in question — it appears to have occurred in the San Fernando Valley:

Police ordered angry customers lined up outside an IndyMac Bank branch to remain calm or face arrest Tuesday as they tried to pull their money on the second day of the failed institution's federal takeover.
At least three police squad cars showed up early Tuesday as tensions rose outside the San Fernando Valley branch of Pasadena-based IndyMac.

So this is a riot of the formerly-rich?
MEGAN: Welcome to the Depression, and why the government started the FDIC in the first place, though it does provide a significant financial disincentive for banks to not do a great job self-regulating. Well, "formerly rich"
SPENCER: or is it only bloggers who don't have $100,000-plus in the bank these days?
MEGAN: I mean, some of these people, that might be their retirement savings because when you get within 5-10 of retirement you're told to take your money out of the stock market and put it in insurable, risk-averse assets.
SPENCER: Whoa you used the D-word
MEGAN: Ben B can come by and flog me later.
SPENCER: I am sure when I arrive at Netroots Nation there will be no shortage of invective on this, and i don't mean that pejoratively. Oh hey could I refer back to yesterday's CH for a second?
MEGAN: Which part? I know not the food parts...
SPENCER: The Iraq/Afghanistan parts
MEGAN: Sure
SPENCER: My friend Elle Reeve — someone else that TNR fucked over — read yesterday's CH rather attentively, as her husband Scott, a rather unfortunately infamous Iraq veteran, is scheduled to return for his second Iraq tour in the fall and she grounded yesterday's discussion of the Obama/McCain debate over Afghanistan/Iraq troop levels in a really compelling way, so I hereby introduce CH readers to the awesome Elle Reeve:

Obama wants to send two brigades to Afghanistan, and now McCain wants to send three. Where would these dudes come from? They're not going to pluck guys from one war zone and deposit them in another, right? So will troops scheduled for Iraq get sent to Afghanistan instead, and the guys in Iraq won't be replaced as their deployments expire? If Obama's elected and starts pulling out, wouldn't guys in Iraq have shortened deployments, while the guys in Afghanistan would still be deployed for 15 months at a time?

MEGAN: Oh, geez, that sucks that he got re-upped.
SPENCER:

Scott's brigade is mechanized, so there's little chance he'd be sent to Afghanistan, since tanks and Bradleys don't work well with mountains, right? The brigade is set to be in Iraq through near the last of Obama's 16 months. So what will happen to last of the guys in Iraq? Will they pull out of less volatile areas first? Because his co-workers totally deserve someplace nice in Kurdistan after serving in Baghdad last year. Basically, I'm looking to seize on any possibility that he'll be in a marginally less dangerous area. Or an area I can sneak in to. Kidding! Sort of. Give me the illusion of control.

Given that I need to board a plane in like 10 minutes, I sympathize deeply with Elle's desire for the illusion of control
MEGAN: I mean, who doesn't? I always prefer to have the illusion that I have any control over anything. And have a kickass time in Austin!

The edict against Julia was lifted once — in a stunt carried out during New York Fashion Week last September — but for the most part, no mention of her was made. Readers (most of them, no doubt, New Yorkers) wrote in unsolicited after the blog launched to request that we not mention her, which only served to underscore that I'd made the right decision in keeping her off our roster of blog-worthy media and cultural personalities. Except when I spotted her and her (admittedly adorable) white dog from afar at some media clusterfuck, in my mind, it was (almost) as if she didn't exist.

The thing is, Julia Allison and her sisters in conspicuous consumption and shameless self-promotion do exist, and it's getting harder and harder to ignore them. Their latest assault came via the NY Times' "City" section, which devoted some 2,000-plus words (and multiple four-color photographs) to Julia in a piece titled "Channeling Carrie" yesterday. My reaction to the piece was not unlike the expression shown on a woman shown standing behind Julia in a photograph taken at her 27th birthday party in NYC's West Village: a mixture of curiosity, uncertainty, discomfort and mild disgust. (Or maybe I'm just projecting.)

In the article, Julia practically crowns herself the new queen of New York narcissism: "If Carrie Bradshaw were coming to New York today," the Times quotes her as saying, "she would be me." To a Times reporter interviewing her on video for an accompanying web feature, she strikes a more humble note, explaining that being "compared to a character who has inspired a lot of women by opening herself up and questioning the issues that concern not just single people in their twenties and thirties but of all ages, that's a compliment."

Maybe so, but here's the question that no one seems to be asking regarding both Sex and the City and the Scary Sadshaws it has spawned: What important issues did the series identify and illuminate? What barriers did it break? What did the characters ("Carrie & Company") ever do for anyone outside of themselves? What, praytell, was so damn groundbreaking about a group of narcissistic rich white women with a love of shopping and gossiping about their sex lives? (Despite what Candace Bushnell thinks, the themes of no-strings-attached sex, female friendship, conspicuous consumption and social-climbing had been amply investigated long before she came on the scene.)

I'm willing to admit that it's possible the problem isn't with the Scary Sadshaws but with me — perhaps, as Julia asserts, I can aspire to be both "serious and thoughtful" while also being "shallow and frivolous", although I don't see how I'd have the time — so last night, I went online and spent $300 on a box-set of every episode of Sex and the City ever produced. (It comes in a suede cover in a hue of hot pink not unlike the plastic case covering Julia's white MacBook.) I've decided to watch all 94 episodes between now and the premiere of the Sex and the City movie on May 30 — around 12 episodes a week — in the hopes that I can embrace my inner Carrie Bradshaw and figure out what all the fuss is about (perhaps I'll even learn to like pink!). At the very least, the next time I see Julia, we'll have something to talk about...although Candace Bushnell can still kiss my middle-income black ass.

Channeling Carrie [NY Times]
Web And the Single Girl [NY Times]

Earlier: Before Sex & The City, Talking About Sex Was Practically Illegal
Julia Allison Asks: What About Fashion Makes You Want To Hurl?

Excuse!! Did that sound COARSE?? Even for us??? Uh, yeah, well, crapavision personality, erstwhile dating-or-something blogger and VORACIOUS self-promot...er, reader Julia Allison is not exactly subtle in the 92-word "review" of your zeitgeisty Wall Street book Mergers And Acquisitions:

There are three types of books in this world: those that make you want to befriend the author, those that make you want to slap the author, and those that make you want to fuck the author.

Mergers & Acquisitions is the last.

To which we can only add, there are three types of blogs in the world, and the only one you need to know about is the kind where the blogger gets slapped and called a dirty little bitch while being fucked from behind by some guy whose frat brothers are cutting his hair Alex P. Keaton style and getting "Dana Vachon, Provincial Man Of Mystery" business cards printed up at Kinko's as we speak.

P.S., frat guys of the world: we know where she hangs out!

Shortest Book Review Ever [Julia Allison]