After Sarah Jessica Parker called the AnnaSophia Robb-starring Sex and The City prequel The Carrie Diaries "odd," money-making enthusiast MAJOR Carrie Diaries fan Candace Bushnell hit back at SJP for being an old cronehag who doesn't understand how the world works.

Lololllooloolololollolollol! Lol. If you were to purchase all of Gwyneth Paltrow's "spring essentials" recommendations in the latest Goop, it would cost you more than $458,003. I love her so much. Brb, dying.

Did you guys forget that Sarah Jessica Parker can do more than make weird constipated/thinking faces and stare at the computer screen of an outdated Mac? She's a triple threat, y'alls!

Tale as old as time, true as it can be: Emma Watson will play Belle in a new live-action version of Beauty And The Beast, directed by Guillermo del Toro. We're not sure who will play the candlestick, or Gaston, or even if there will be a Gaston. But we do know that no one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston, and …

Yikes. Two men were arrested near the home of Joss Stone; they had in their possession swords, rope and a body bag, as well as maps and aerial photos of Joss's secluded property. Horrifying. Luckily, police were called when neighbors spotted the two men acting suspiciously near the 24-year-old singer's rural home. Joss …

• Lindsay Lohan has hired famed attorney Robert Shapiro to represent her, but it doesn't look like Shapiro is interested in getting Lohan out of her jail time:

• Anna Wintour is going all NIMBY on restaurateur Serge Becker. Becker has a new Jamaican restaurant opening near Wintour's West Village townhouse, and she's warned him not to plan any parties there that might generate noise — or smells. [PX]

• Eva Longoria Parker and Victoria Beckham are looking extraordinarily unlike themselves, even by the debased standards of airbrushed celebrity pictures, in these print ads for some LG phone. [SB]

• Apparently Naomi Campbell — who just weeks ago was boasting of having mastered her volatile temper — assaulted her chauffeur because he is also chauffeurs her boyfriend, Vladimir Doronin, and he refused to tell her if Doronin was cheating. [NYPost]

[Milan, February 8. Image via Getty]