• Guess what? Lindsay Lohan borrowed $2 million worth of jewels from Beverly Hills store XIV Karats and never returned them.

She's saying the jewelry was in her safe, which, as we know, was recently ripped out of the wall and stolen. Something fishy here? [Radar Online]

• Lindsay and Samantha Ronson: Moving at the same time. They're sick of the paparazzi outside of their respective houses. Lindsay will move into a luxury high-rise building, where there's a doorman and she will feel "safer." Sam is also moving into a high-rise, but not the same building. [E!]
• Brody Jenner and Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis were in an "epic fight" outside of a club in LA. Inside, Brody and his girlfriend Jayde Nicole saw Joe harassing a woman they knew; Jayde threw a drink on Joe; Joe pulled Jayde's hair and punched her in the face. Brody was yelling at Joe and they both got thrown out of the club. Once outside, Brody punched Joe in the face, then someone tased him. [TMZ]
• Joe Francis is wanted for questioning in the assault of Jayde Nicole. he allegedly grabbed her by the hair, punched her, threw her to the ground and kicked her. [Radar Online]
• As mentioned last night, Chris Brown went out on the town after court. His probation requires him to "abstain from the use of all alcoholic beverages and stay out of places where they are the chief item of sale." Los Angeles Probation Department Spokeswoman Kari Webb says if Chris did violate probation, "It won't be taken lightly." [E!]
• Britney Spears and Jason Trawick are "cooling off" their relationship. A source says that they are taking some time apart — and that Britney wanted it. Apparently Jason has "always loved her" so he is giving her space, since that's what she asked for. [Ok!]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is in the promotional trailer for her latest single, playing a DJ. This paper calls him a "flop" with "dodgy dance moves." [Daily Mail]
• Is Hilary Duff indulging in some diva behavior on the set of Gossip Girl? A source says she wouldn't come out of her trailer on Tuesday. Maybe she was refusing to work unless she got to kiss Chuck Bass? That's what SOME of us would do. [Page Six]
• Was MJ a stoner? According to a search warrant, marijuana was found in Michael Jackson's home shortly after he died, as well as temazepam, lorzaepam and diazepam — all used to treat sleeplessness. [People]
• Bleaching cream was found in the master bathroom at Michael Jackson's house; but the substance formerly thought to be heroin was not heroin. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe says that all the guys coming out and saying that they could be the father of Michael Jackson's kids just "want their 15 minutes of fame." She said this while at the offices of Dr. Arnold Klein. And while wearing that three wolves howling at a full moon T-shirt. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe has been invited to Michael Jackson's funeral. If she accepts, it will be her first supervised visit with the kids. [NY Post]
• Dr. Arnold Klein will not petition for a role in the upbringing of Michael Jackson's children. His lawyer says Klein got involved because he was concerned about the kids having a normal upbringing not related to show business. Jackson told Klein repeatedly that he wanted his children to have a formal education and not be subjected to the rigors of traveling and performing. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's family will be flying his DNA to a UK clinic. A source says: "With everything that's at stake the last thing the Jackson family need is someone using his sperm to give birth to a child and produce another potential heir to Michael's estate." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's death caused a bump in magazine sales: $55 million in additional newsstand sales for magazine publishers.[MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson had a low credit score. [TMZ]
• Authorities say that Ryan Jenkins didn't start fleeing for the Canadian border until 24 hours after Jasmine Fiore's body was found, and even then he had a three-day head start ahead of cops. [AP]
• Police found blood and evidence of a struggle in Jasmine Fiore's car. [NY Daily News]
• The Divorced Dads show is looking really sad. [Page Six]
• LeAnn Rimes is paying for her husband of seven years, Dean Sheremet, to relocate to New York. He'll have a Tribeca bachelor pad and attend the French Culinary Institute. [NY Daily News]
• Lady Gaga appears in FHM wearing a high-cut latex bodysuit and a come-hither look. Pic at the link. [The Sun]
• From a profile on Joseph Gordon-Levitt: So, who'd be his model, as a director? "It's got to be Obama." Really? As a director? "Of course he's a director, he's exactly a director." He's smiling, but his eyes tell you: he's dead serious. [Guardian]
• Contrary to an earlier report, Derek Jeter is not engaged to Minka Kelly. [NY Daily News]
• Two thousand viewers were polled and around 90% think that Simon Cowell and BBC broadcaster Jonathan Ross are paid far too much. [Daily Mail]
• Daniel Craig will star in psychological thriller Dream House, about a New York publishing exec who relocates his family to a small New England town, only to learn that their new home was the scene of a vicious murder. Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot, In The Name Of the Father) will direct. [Variety]
• Robin Williams will star in Wedding Banned, a Disney flick in which he'll play one-half of a long-divorced couple who kidnap their daughter on her wedding day in order to keep her from making a mistake. [Variety]
• Chelsea Handler on her breakup with boss/boyfriend Comcast CEO Ted Harbert: "I only comment on other people's lives, not my own." [People]
• Keanu Reeves is once again dating Anita Hodson, who he was in a relationship with in 2008. [Daily Express]
• Donna Summer played Coney Island last night and almost all the politicians in New York showed up. [NY Times]
• The new flick Surrogates stars Bruce Willis, but he's not on any of the billboards. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Model Brooklyn Decker — wife of Andy Roddick — will guest star on Ugly Betty. [Page Six]
• Kerry Katona's accountant claims she left him black and blue after attacking him at his office. [Daily Mail]
• "It's ultimately derived from 'steampunk,' which is a look that's based on industrial elements, sort of like what people in the 1800s would imagine the future to look like. I just called the main characters mechanized rag dolls, which isn't as sexy." — Elijah Wood, on the "stitchpunk" characters in 9, the movie for which he voices the main character. [WSJ]
• "I'm playing Julia as Julie's idea of what she was like, so I'm not really 'doing' Julia Child," she says. "While I felt a responsibility to her memory and the legacy of the work she did, I didn't feel I was replicating her because I don't presume to know what she was like. That's my rationalisation, my 'out', because I thought that even if I made a big, glaring mistake with her I'm really only a figment of someone else's imagination." — Meryl Streep, on Julie And Julia. [Telegraph]

• Madonna is divorced. A judge ruled on "Ciccone, M.L. v. Ritchie, G.S." today and the case was a "quickie," an uncontested divorce. Neither Madonna nor Guy Ritchie attended the hearing, which lasted barely a minute. Her Madgesty is single again! Think she'll get hitched to A-Rod? [Yahoo News]
• Oh snap! Madonna just had drinks with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn. [Page Six]
• A source says don't believe what you read about Guy being a gentleman and not taking a penny from Madge. He's getting a "huge pay day." [Perez Hilton]
• Friends of Madonna's are not surprised that the divorce went through so quickly. "It’s not fair to Guy, to the kids, to drag it out for any reason," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Ashlee Simpson gave birth to a baby boy last night, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yeah, Bronx. And yeah: Mowgli. Urban Decay Jungle Book Wentz. [People]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have been "fighting like cats and dogs," says a source, and may be in couples therapy. Work it out, ladies! [Page Six]
• Whoa, a kid almost died on the set of 30 Rock when an out-of-control taxi smashed into the street where the show was filming and everyone had to dive out of the way. [Page Six]
• Shia LaBeouf's wrecked truck was on eBay, but barely anyone bid on it. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. His name is now Mikaeel. It might be so that he can legally wear a burka in court and no one can stare at his skin. [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson Mikaeel is due in court next week to defend claims that he owes Sheikh Abdullah $7 million. May Allah be with him! [Guardian]
• Ooh, more soundbites from Britney's new documentary: "Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird… I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day… It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way… It's bad. I'm sad." [She breaks down into tears.] [EW]
• Britney on why she let "bad people" into her life: "Because I was lonely." [People]
• Twilight star Robert Pattinson was asked, "What is all this talk about you not washing your hair for months on end?" He answered: "People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that. But, yeah, if it doesn't look dirty, why wash it?" Darling, it looks dirty. Get some Pantene Pro-V up in there. [USA Today]
• America's Next Top Model winner McKey says: "I was freaking out at the second CoverGirl commercial. I almost had a nervous breakdown. They only show a little bit of it, but Christian was fixing my makeup and I was like, 'Christian, I'm freaking out right now. I might have a nervous breakdown. I haven't had a nervous breakdown in forever. I'm going crazy. Why am I here?'" Because you look like a model, maybe? [E!]
• Leonardo DiCaprio attended a "preview screening" of a music video starring ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen because he's friends with the director, who is Kevin Connolly. Hollywood's a small town. [People]
• Uh, are Leo and Kate Bosworth an item???? [Star]
• Leo told this paper: "So much of my life has been spent on some far-off movie location and so little of it has been lived normally. I want to get married and have children." [Mirror]
• Hollywood is a small town, take 2: Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Reba McEntire, Sylvester Stallone, Magic Johnson and Barry Bonds are involved in the lawsuit between North and South Beverly Park homeowners. It's like the Sharks and the Jets! [LA Times]
• Here's more on that turf war between the North and the South. [TMZ]
• Apparently Brit TV host Jonathan Ross told Gwyneth Paltrow he "would fuck her" and the BBC has called that "gratuitous and unnecessarily offensive." Think so? [Guardian]
• A critic says Baz Luhrmann made a "big, big mistake" in casting Nicole Kidman as proper English dame Lady Sarah Ashley in Australia: Melanie Reid says Kidman is "one of the most overrated actors" in the world and who has "been the kiss of death in practically every movie she has starred in." There's more! "Kidman is exquisitely accomplished at being awful," Reid writes. "She can't act. Instead she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I'm-looking-interesting blue eyes." Ouch! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Ugh, someone asked Nicole Kidman if she was pregnant again. "No, I just have a little tummy," she said. "My god, I just had a baby four months ago – give me a break!" She added: "I think I've always had a little tummy, though, it runs in the family. My sister does, my mum does, my grandmother did… We affectionately refer to it as the 'little tummy.'" Fascinating. [People]
• Glenn Close didn't get the part of Elvira in Scarface because she wasn't slutty enough? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus let her boyfriend attend the casting for her new video, and a source says "Justin wanted to pick a guy that looked the most like him." WTF. [E!]
• Apparently the clip of Justin Timberlake dancing with Beyoncé on SNL has been yanked from YouTube due to music clearance issues. Dammit. Not fierce, Sasha. Not fierce. [LA Times]
• Angelina Jolie might not get nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Changeling, even though Ted Casablanca thinks she should. [E!]
• Rihanna's new tattoo: "It's tribal," she says. She got it in New Zealand, and it's Maori-inspired. "It's their traditional way of tattooing. I always wanted [one]. It hurt like hell!" [People]
• ABC has killed three shows: RIP Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money. [EW]
• Your friend Kanye West began his concert in Germany by having the crowd wait tow hours and then running on stage and shouting, "I really need some pussy tonight!" [The Sun]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard says all he's ever wanted to do is be all around the most beautiful women in the world. "I'm sorry I'm shallow like that, I'm a man." [Perez Hilton]
• Lance Bass is glad Julianne Hough has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: "She was the one I was scared of the most," he says. [People]
• Is Julianne Hough retiring from DWTS? "I'm not gonna be back next season," she says. "I really, really want to focus on the music and, ya know, be taken seriously a little bit. And I think it’s hard to be on [the show] and be singing." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon looks like a small town checkout girl on the cover of Parade. [Just Jared]
• Reese told Parade: "Family is all we have in life, but I don't know how I feel about marriage. Obviously, I'm not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again." For some reason this prompted this paper to run the headline "I'm Not Ready To Marry Jake." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger's family issued a statement to say that a new book about the star contains "gross inaccuracies, false allegations and many incorrect and unsubstantiated comments." The unauthorized bio, written by a journalist, claims Ledger was mentally ill. [News.com.au]
• The world is weird: Shaquille O'Neal is on Twitter. [Observer]
• Holly Madison says she's wearing less makeup now and P. Hilton says she's lying through her fake teeth. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris Hilton went out without Benji Madden and "looked distraught and completely lonesome." Sniff. [People]
• As for Benji, he is not talking about the split. [E!]
• Have you seen Rosie O'Donnell's video response to Barbara Walters? [Perez Hilton]
• Fox's Roger Friedman says Rosie will get the last laugh, because her live variety show "should be an enormous hit." It's family-friendly and positive in its celebration of Broadway, New York, and the arts. Plus comedy is what Rosie excels at. [Fox 411]
• Michael Phelps: The new spokesperson for Subway sandwiches. Do you want him on whole wheat? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Michael Phelps off the market? He flew to Birmingham to see former Miss Alabama, Doree Walker, and they went to dinner and then to the zoo the next day. Roar. [MSNBC]
• New Lost trailer! And Sawyer and Juliet are holding hands. For like a split second. [E!]
• Josh Brolin, who plays Harvey Milk's assassin in Milk, says the story of Milk made him cry. [UPI]
• If you can understand this kerfluffle surrounding Bianca Jagger's lost ring and bankruptcy and an Austrian building magnate named Reinhard Ringler, please explain. [Daily Express]
• John Malkovich is making a documentary about the plight of migrant children who cross illegally into the U.S. It will be produced by Canana Films, a production company owned by Mexican actors Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. [AP]
• Christina Ricci, Rosie Perez and Arsenio Hall will voice characters in The Hero of Color City, an animated film about a group of crayons that band together to stop a tyrant from robbing their world of color. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie "Jordan" Price in her underwear again, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Did New Kids On The Block's Donnie Wahlberg out suspected gay Jonathan Knight? [Perez Hilton]
• It's official: Jean Claude Van Damme hits on young female reporters. [23/6]
• John Cleese, 69, is dating a 27-year-old named Barbie. [The Sun]
• The headmistress of Oprah Winfrey's girls' school in South Africa, Nomvuyo Mzamane, has dropped her suit against The Huffington Post and a blogger she claimed falsely harmed her reputation. [Portƒolio]
• When it comes to cash, Bruce Willis is a die hard, heh: He invested $2 million in a Malaysian technology company and then withdrew his cash; they still owe him $900,000 and he's filed a court complaint. [AP]
• Former Senator Fred Thompson, who was on Law & Order and then tried running for president, is going back to acting. Anyone want to cast him? [AP]
• Success has made Leona Lewis "really, really lonely." Sad face! [Mirror]
• Linda Hogan was getting $40,000 a month in temporary alimony payments. Now she claims to be broke. She wants a court hearing to talk about getting more cash out of the Hulkster. [Perez Hilton]
• TRL's Damien Fahey has a new job, now that his MTV show is dead: He'll be a special correspondent for Extra. [Page Six]
• "That's debatable in Hollywood. There's the obvious answer: Angelina, for saving the planet with her adoptions and charity work." — Megan Fox, when asked who the Woman of the Year was. [E!]
• "[Four Christmases] is not for your children. It's PG-13. But my family always went to movies on Christmas Day – The Godfather, The Elephant Man. Your typical cheerful holiday fare. It's fun to go to the movies at Christmas and nice to be part of a movie that at least grown-ups and teenagers can see. Plus it means a lot when I get to have experiences where I meet young people and they say, 'You know, this is the movie that got me through a hard time' or, 'This is the movie I watch with my family.'" [Independent]
• "There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it's OK." — Gene Simmons, bruised because his band's not in the Hall of Fame. [Reuters]
• "That would be really exciting if that does happen. I hope it does. There has been some talk about it but I think it's in its very early days. But I'm practicing by dressing as a pirate every day - just in case!" — Russell Brand, on playing Captain Jack Sparrow's brother in the new Pirates Of The Caribbean flick. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I did a photo shoot for her, and she suddenly took off her T-shirt to change into another and I was like, 'Damn!' She was so beautiful, elegant, classy and timeless, and there was something really exotic about it. Very few human beings have been that sexy and desirable. I wanted to say, 'You are sculpted by God.' I was like, wow." — Rosario Dawson on Iman. [Daily Express]
• "Our new president is really a person who came from a place where they told him he couldn’t be something, in a country where no one ever thought that we would see a black president, but now that we have a black president we understand that black people, white people, Asian people, Native Americans, Latinos, no matter what color you are, we all are one. Whatever you want to be you can be in this world. You just have to put your mind to it." — Common, to elementary school students in Georgia. [Concrete Loop]
• "I can drink most men under the table and be fine! And I get louder and giggly. Do I get more affectionate? Who doesn't?" — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]