• Jon Gosselin's having the worst week ever. Earlier, a judge ended his reality TV career and in his divorce from Kate Gosselin today, she got the house and most of the money, while he'll be making huge child support payments.

• An arbitrator decided Jon should pay five figures a month in child support and the $235,000 he withdrew from their joint account was deducted from his settlement (all of the money Kate withdrew really was spent on the kids). Maybe it's time to get a real job. [TMZ]
• "I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on the children," said Kate Gosselin in a statement. "On behalf of myself and my legal team, I want to express my deep appreciation to the Judge and his staff, as well as to the arbitrator, for resolving this case. This has been a challenging transition for all of us, but I am confident that we will move ahead with the important task of restructuring our lives." [Radar Online]
• Beyonce's mother Tina Knowles has filed for divorce from her husband Matthew Knowles. A paternity suit was recently filed against Matthew and the documents say they "ceased to live together as husband and wife on or about January 5, 2009," the day of their 30th wedding anniversary. [TMZ]
• Gisele Bundchen revealed that she and Tom Brady named their son Benjamin in a post to her fans on her website. She thanked them and wrote: "I am living a very special moment in my life, Benjamin is a blessing and I could not be happier." [People]
• The Wayans Brothers' former assistant is suing them because he claims they stole their literary masterpiece You Know You're A Golddigger from him. [AP]
• Gross: During a trip to Universal Studios, Michael Jackson's children spotted browsing near the Magnet Max store, which sells pictures of them mourning at their father's funeral for $1.99 each. [Radar Online]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna that Jermaine Jackson was organizing has been cancelled. They couldn't find anyone willing to perform in the show after acts including Mary J. Blige, Chris Brown, and Natalie Cole pulled out. [Reuters]
• Lily Allen was supposed to perform at the charity show Mencap's Big Noise Session on Saturday, but she cancelled because she has a "severe recurrent throat infection." [The Mirror]
• As Keira Knightley predicted, her debut on London's West End stage drew mixed reviews. [AFP]
• Jessica Simpson's extremely drunk makeup artist was arrested early this morning for disturbing the peace and sources say Jess went to the jail to bail her out, but police said the woman was still to drunk to be released. [TMZ]
• The YouTube channels on teen stars including Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, and the Jonas Brothers were hacked today so that the front page showed a black screen with a letter on it that collectively spelled out "fuck you." Miley Cyrus' page has the message "I hate Asian." [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods' mom Kultilda Woods is "hurt, angry and disappointed in Tiger. She wants to know how he could do this to his family.... She loves him and will support him through anything, but she needs some time to work through this... It was devastating to her. She likes Elin, and adores her grandchildren. She's worried about them. She doesn't want to see them hurt." [People]
• Thursday on The View, Elisabeth Hasselback asked Stanley Tucci if his wife, who died of cancer in May, had seen The Lovely Bones. She Tweeted today: "It was an honest mistake with stanley tucci today & i called him to apologize," she wrote. "He forgave me (such grace)- if only i could forgive myself..." [Radar Online]
• Rescue Me executive producer Peter Tolanbring says the show will bring back Maura Tierney, who had to leave the show after having surgery for breast cancer. He said her episodes will be shot in the spring, "so she can take care of herself and come back then." [People]
• Shane Sparks, one of the judges on the MTV show America's Best Dance Crew, has been arrested and charged with eight counts of child molestation. There is only one victim, a woman who says the "oral copulation and other acts" started in 1994 and continued for several years. Earlier this year Sparks co-star Alex Da Silva was charged with rape. [TMZ]
• Morrissey wrote on a fan site: "I am sorry that [his latest album] Swords was such a meek disaster. It was proposed and accepted as a budget-priced CD, yet emerged everywhere as the most expensive CD in the racks. It was poorly distributed and didn't stand a chance, and ranks as the lowest chart position I've ever encountered." [NME]
• Diddy says his 3-year-old twin girls are "Talking a lot more and they're very demanding... 'Sit down. Don't go anywhere, stay here, do this.' They give me a lot of orders. When they tell me to sit down, everything else gets put to the back burner." [People]
• Sophia Loren says of her famous quote, "Everything I am I owe to spaghetti," "It's not true! I never said it. 'I owe everything to the spaghetti?' It's not true. They put it in my mouth and it still goes on. It's not true. So silly. Can you imagine?" [CBS News]
• Emily Blunt says that while researching Queen Victoria for The Young Victoria, "The thing that shocked me was the required hand-holding down the stairs and Victoria's mother's sleeping in the same room as her daughter until she was 18. How suffocating that must have been, and not being allowed any friends or to read books - basically to be deprived of anything that could be inspiring or influential in any way." [WSJ]
• Sigourney Weaver says, "I changed my name when I was about twelve because I didn't like being called Sue or Susie. I felt I needed a longer name because I was so tall. So what happened? Now everyone calls me Sig or Siggy." [Esquire]
• "I love well-made clothes and its fun and it's a delight to get to borrow them and wear them. I love fittings as part of an actress' life, but it's not a preoccupation for me and I think that's the difference. I have tremendous respect for designers. ... I'm very fond of the world, but I'm not preoccupied. That's a big difference between myself and Carrie Bradshaw." — Sarah Jessica Parker [AP]
• Q: What do you think of Donald Trump? Rue McClanahan: I think of him as little, as infrequently as possible. But I do think he has a very bad hairdo." [N.Y. Magazine]

• How do we feel about the fact that Miley Cyrus dressed as Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold character for an '80s party to celebrate her 17th birthday Wednesday night? [Page Six]

• ANTM winner Nicole Fox had a "secret" meeting with Robert Pattinson… meaning, she ran into him backstage at Regis & Kelly. She says: "I was backstage going to the bathroom-in a bathroom I probably wasn't supposed to be using. But when I came out, [Pattinson] was in the hallway, like two feet away from me, [just] standing there. He was surrounded by his throng of people. And so I didn't want to feel like a dorky fangirl. I just looked down at my shoes and walked away." Of course Nicole admits: "I haven't seen the Twilight movies… Perhaps I will begin to watch [them] now that I saw him in real life." [E!]
• Madonna visited a "lawless favela" in Rio — and wore a bullet-proof vest under her leather jacket. Doesn't she know that music makes the people come together? Doesn't she know that music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's guard dog, Floyd, attacked a flight attendant on a private jet; and an animal behaviorist says the German Shepherd is a menace who needed counseling. [NY Daily News]
• Monday is the series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8, and in the ep, the two "continue to make the transition into single parenthood." Kate takes the kids to milk a cow; Jon takes them to a fire station. [NY Daily News]
• MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett suggests that this Thanksgiving, we should be grateful for the end of Jon & Kate. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says while the director is imprisoned in Switzerland, his wife and two children are "very upset psychologically by this separation that is a true heartbreak" for them. [MSNBC via AP]
• Tila Tequila says her naked Ustream rant — which has since been removed from the interwebs — was caused by "flashbacks" and "pressure" related to her allegedly violent incident with her ex, Shawne Merriman. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is set to do some songs at this year's Royal Variety Performance — which is attended by the Queen. This column questions whether she will actually pretended to stab herself to death while playing the piano and then hang from the ceiling, covered in blood — when the Queen is watching. [Daily Mail]
• Remember when hip-hop had beef? Beanie Sigel and Jay-Z are bringing it back. [Gatecrasher]
• Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens — known in the tween mags as Zanessa — have not broken up, despite rumors. Things are going well, they are rich and young and sexy and happy, etc, etc, etc. [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyer says Kate Major's lawsuit is a joke. Finally we agree on something! [Radar Online]
• Audrina Patridge from The Hills and Mark Sallin, aka Puck from Glee: Spotted flirting and leaving a party together. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Amber Rose spotted without Kanye. [Page Six]
• Kathy Hilton has been in touch with the Jacksons and says that Paris, Prince and Blanket are "wonderful" and their "grandmother is incredible" and they "could not be in better hands." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate testified yesterday, saying that she was living in a West Virginia motel around the time a police chief allegedly broke into her home in Ohio. [NY Post]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, went to Turkey last year with daughter Princess Eugenie to investigate the treatment of mentally and physically disabled children in orphanages. The Duchess wore a dark wig and headscarf and posed as an aid worker to get the story for a TV exposé; now she's been served papers and may have to stand trial in Turkey — she's is accused of breaking laws that ban secret filming and trespassing on government property in the country. [Mirror]
• Jordin Sparks had an appendectomy yesterday. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver believes that the James Cameron film Avatar will make all the money back, because people will see it several times. She also says Cameron was "always sweet" to her during Aliens. [NY Mag]
• The Jonas Brothers are promoting Xbox 360 with Jonas-centric ads. [NY Times]
• "Do lesbians rule Hollywood? Ask Jane Lynch." [Guardian]
• This video of Hayden Panettiere is bukkake/facial-esque. [The Life Files]
• Ruh-roh: Eddie Cibrian is suing Life & Style, because the mag published stories which allegedly "falsely portray Eddie as being unfaithful to LeAnn Rimes, as currently being in a romantic relationship with [some other woman] and as having abandoned his children." Can they get out of the lawsuit if, at the end of each story, the copy reads, "Aoccirding to a source"? [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost is publishing her autobiography, which will probably have details about her BFF Kate Moss, the catty fashion world, and ex husband Jude Law. [Daily Express]
• When Jamie Cullum said that girlfriend Sophie Dahl "has a face for radio," he was probably joking. [Daily Express]
• Uma Thurman will play Robert Pattinson's wife in a film called Bel Ami, based on a Guy de Maupassant's short story. [The Hollywood Reported]
• James Van Der Beek has filed for divorce from his wife of six years. [USA Today]
• James Caan has filed for divorce from his wife of 14 years. [USA Today]
• At the link, Freddie Mercury's mother talks about her son eighteen years after his death. [BBC News]
• "I think probably the first thing that was an incredible hurdle was that I wasn't going to be able to do this privately like most people, and that took a really long time to get over." — Chaz Bono, on the hardest part of his sex change. [People]
• "She sent me sexy pictures of herself in a bikini and stuff, but nothing worse than the stuff you find now by just Googling her name." — one of Carrie Prejean's ex boyfriends — and not the one she sent the "solo sex tape" to. [E!]
• "It was scary, but it was so much fun. It was great seeing that we were all feeling the same way. There was a great support system on that set, all the actors with each other and with Rob [Marshall]. I had danced classical ballet before, so this was very different from what I had studied. We had a room in our building and we were all taking different classes. We would all pass each other in the hallway. All day, training. We all felt so free and so happy. Music was so present everywhere. That elevates people, music. It was so addictive, that experience." — Penelope Cruz on the six-week rehearsal period she, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard had for Nine, in which they took dancing and singing lessons. [USA Today]
• "What people don't realize is, I am managing my image, more than maybe the editor of OUT magazine likes to give anybody credit for. My team is a team. And I really feel fortunate that 19 Management and Simon Fuller said to me, from the get-go, 'We want to do what you want to do. You need to tell us how you want to do things, what interests you have,' and they've been incredibly supportive of me. I really mean it. I'm not being puppeted around. I didn't want to jump onto a gay magazine as my first thing, because I feel like that's putting myself in a box and limiting myself. It was my desire to stay away from talking about certain political and civil rights issues because I'm not a politician. I'm an entertainer. That is not my area of expertise. I can talk about relationships and personal experiences because as an artist those things involve writing lyrics and that part of my process. But I didn't feel comfortable talking about the March on Washington. I didn't feel comfortable, so I asked my publicist to ask the interviewer to stay away from the political questions. I take full responsibility for that. I think that the editor has his agenda and has his opinions, which I respect, but they're not necessarily my opinions. And I wish there was a little respect for that. Not every gay man is the same gay man." — Adam Lambert. [EW]
• "I've never told anyone this before. This is a hair scoop. Shower before you go to bed, and then sleep on your wet hair. Towel-dry it. In the morning, it's all messed up naturally. If you have that messed-up thing going when you wake up, it's more willing to stay that way. That's Zac's hair tip." — Zac Efron. [Time]
• "[When I was younger] I wasn't confident in my sexuality but I had these thoughts, these desires and these passions inside me. I never knew how to exorcise them until probably the first time I had sex, and it was a great experience. I felt like, why should I be so hindered about this? [I thought about porn] …I thought, why should sex have to be dirty or scary? And if it is, why can't you turn that into a positive thing and work through that sensually and find something good out of that, something pleasurable." — Sasha Grey. [Telegraph]
• "I would not say that I lost faith in Twitter, I would say that I lost faith in my ability to negotiate it. I don't know about you but whenever I read a blog I do not let my eye drop below half the screen in case I accidentally hit the bit where the comments reside. Of all the stinking, sliding, scuttling, weird, entomological creatures that inhabit the floor of the internet those comments on blogs are the most unbearable, almost beyond imagining. Their resentment, their desire to be heard at the most vituperative level, at the most unpleasant and malevolent, genuinely ill-willed malevolent, level is terrifying and I am very often simply not able to cope with that. Twitter is usually not like that... [but] I found that the @ mentions were just getting... I could see these comments that would just make me upset." — Stephen Fry. [Guardian]
• "I've had some bad moments where I've woken up under a car with the engine still running." — Zach Galifianakis. [Page Six]
• "She wears really, really attractive underwear." — Bono on his wife. Well, not on. But maybe. [Gatecrasher]
• "They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy." — Tina Fey. [Page Six]

[Milan, November 6. Image via INF]

• Did Rosie O'Donnell try to romance Angelina Jolie? She told Howard Stern on his radio show:

"We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that… There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of Angelina. She's scary in a sexual kind of way." [Gatecrasher]

• Charlize Theron's nickname is Ass-nuts. No, really. [Mirror]
• Last week, Lil' Wayne pleaded guilty to possessing a .40-caliber semi-automatic cops found in a Louis Vuitton bag on his tour bus. He's focusing on partying before he gets sentenced in February — when he's expected to get a year in jail. [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan has moved out of her Hollywood Hills house, which was broken into in August. She's now in a West Hollywood condo. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• On his album cover, Adam "Glambert" Lambert reminds me of Debbie Gibson or Belinda Carlisle. [The Life Files]
• Since her TV career is iffy, Kate Gosselin has renewed her nursing license — she used to be a labor and delivery nurse at The Reading Hospital and Medical Center in Pennsylvania. It's good to have a back-up plan! Imagine having contractions and then seeing her in the delivery room? [RadarOnline]
• Yikes: Matthew Broderick's new play was previewing Monday night, but he wasn't prepared. He had to stop the play to ask for his lines 10 times during the first act alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Critics cannot stop gushing about Carey Mulligan, earning her "It Girl" status. She says: "It Girl is such a weird term,… It implies I go to parties and drink champagne and um… it's weird." [CNN]
• The Church of Scientology is pissed Crash director Paul Haggis claims the religion is anti-gay. Tommy Davis, a spokesperson for Scientology, says: "The church supports civil rights for everybody, regardless of sexual orientation, race, color or creed. We are a minority, too; we understand what it's like to be persecuted, so to the extent that anything prohibits or inhibits on civil rights, we don't agree with it." So why was the Church's name of a list of churches which supported Prop 8? Davis says that was an error. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Take a deep breath: The Jonas Brothers are not, repeat NOT breaking up. It's true that Nick Jonas has formed a band called Nick Jonas & The Administration, but he says: "We've said from the beginning of our career as the Jonas Brothers that anything we do outside of the group is a side project because you can't break up brothers… My brothers are my biggest supporters." [People]
• Secrets from Sex And The City 2: The Reckoning Of The Boogaloo! It's bigger! But not as long as the first! The cast has been shooting all night! With huge crowds involving hundreds of people! Please God let it be a prison dance scene. [The Sun]
• In Lily Allen's new video, she plays a woman obsessed with Elton John. As you may recall, the two had a "feud" last year when she called him an old drunk (I'm paraphrasing) and he told her he could snort her under the table. [News.com.au]
• Richard Gere is in talks to star on the UK show Strictly Dancing. He's done ballroom before — in Shall We Dance, with Jennifer Lopez. Not that I've seen it. [The Sun]
• Andre Agassi did meth in the '90s and then lied when he failed a drug test. [NY Post]
• Ryan Seacrest is producing a show called The Bank Of Hollywood, in which contestants pitch money-making ideas to business leaders. Sean Patterson, president of Wilhelmina models (you've seen him on ANTM) will be the main judge. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray is blaming Michael Jackson on his inability to pay child support; the DA is calling bullshit on that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Arnold Klein has filed a creditors claim against the Michael Jackson estate, claiming he's owed $48,522.89 for services performed between March 23 2009 through June 22 2009 — just three days before Jackson's death. The services include Botox, acne surgery, Latisse, Restylane, and "nutritic lips." [TMZ]
• One of the services Dr. Klein provided is listed as "I.M. injection. A source says says "I.M. Injection" is commonly used as billing code for the narcotic Demerol. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was in negotiations to buy a $38 million Bel Air mansion right before he died; his kids had seen the house and loved it. [TMZ]
• U2 will play a free concert in Berlin — in front of the Brandenburg Gate — to celebrate 20 years since the fall of the Berlin wall. [USA Today]
• Idris Elba was on The Office for seven episodes, and is continuing to have a relationship with NBC: He will be the executive producer of an legal drama about a vigilante lawyer who uses "any means necessary." Malcom X, Attorney At Law? [Reuters]
• Spotted: Jane Lynch — aka Glee's Sue Sylvester — making out with a "gal pal" in NYC. [Page Six]
• Morrissey returned to the stage after collapsing at his last show and made jokes about feeling ill. [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell recommended that Gordon Ramsey get some cosmetic surgery. So he did. [NY Post]
• Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's widow, spoke at a women's conference on grief yesterday, saying: "When the grief takes you, it's like your body is not your own. I'm just going with the flow. I know I have to go through it. I've spent two thirds of my life with him. ... My regret is that I didn't tell him that I loved him enough over that entire 34 years. I am so grateful for what I had and my connection to him, and part of me believes that I will see him again… and I'm just going to have to go on until then." [People]
• Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson had to finish taping his show by flashlight last night when high winds knocked out the power at a CBS studio. That's what they call dark comedy, ba dum bum. [AP]
• Precious star Gabourey Sidibe is in talks to appear in a Showtime series called The C Word, in which Laura Linney stars as a terminal cancer patient. Gabby would have a guest spot as a teen with a bad attitude. [Variety]
• At the link, Alicia Silverstone talks about her fave recipe, restaurant, cookbook and food destination. [The Daily Beast]
• Corey Feldman's wife has filed for divorce. They've been married seven years and have a five-year-old son together. He'll be expected to pay attorney fees and spousal support, so maybe we'll get Lost Boys 2: The Frog Brothers' Revenge. [TMZ]
• Magician David Copperfield's sexual assault lawsuit has been delayed for six months. [AP]
• As a kid, I loved Miami Vice, so it's cool to hear Philip Michael Thomas is out there doing something, even if it's hosting a fundraiser for Republican Whilly Bermudez's campaign for the Florida legislature. I guess. [UPI]
• Michael Madsen: Facing eviction. [TMZ]
• "'I Google all day long, because I'm an information freak. I'm always looking for information about something. I do believe that Google was invented for me personally. 'As for Googling myself, I did that once but I gave up. There were seven and a half million sites, so I went 'whoops.'" — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I won't even see scary movies. I've been in them, and then I've been like, 'Whoa, this is way too scary for me.' I guess I've held on to some of those little childhood moments - when you're in the dark and there's a rattle outside and you're thinking there's a monster under your bed." — Josh Lucas. [Gatecrasher]

• Last night Jon and Kate Gosselin got into a screaming match after Kate showed up unannounced at their Pennsylvania home and Jon wouldn't let her in. It seems Kate was upset that Jon's rumored fling Stephanie Santoro was babysitting.

• "They were screaming at each other," says a source. "He refused to open the gate." Someone called 911 and police escorted Kate off the property. She checked into a Days Inn nearby. [E!]
• Kate called the police to the hotel when she checked out at 4 a.m. and had them carry her luggage and walk her to her car. Four police cars came and officers shined a flashlight in every car in the parking lot to look for paparazzi. Two photographers caught up with Kate as she drove down the highway, but she turned her headlights off and drove about 95 mph to get away from them. [Radar Online]
• Jon gave an interview to paparazzi standing on the other side of his fence and explained, "She tried to come home yesterday and I wouldn't let her in the gate and I guess she called the police." Jon says the police said they'd have to work it out themselves and Kate, "tried to 'cry it up' with the cops and it didn't work. They said, 'You have to leave.'" Jon says Kate was upset because he had called Stephanie Santoro to babysit. "I have no idea [why she was unhappy]. I guess [because] she didn't have approval," said Jon. Perhaps it's because there have been reports that Jon picked up the 23-year-old cocktail waitress/babysitter in a bar and there are photos of her coming out of his room wearing the same clothes as the night before? [People]
• Chris Brown leaked a single from his new album called "Changed Man." What could he be referring to in these lyrics? "What you do when the truth isn't quite enough?/They looking at you telling you we need to break it up... You need to choose what you do 'cause me and you in love/ But I'mma make it up to you and show the world I'm a changed man....You mean that much to me/ I don't want to be done/I'm doing all that I can/ and everybody hates Chris/they could never understand." [Socialite LIfe]
• Chris Brown's rep claims the song is actually old and doesn't appear on the new album. In either case, you can listen to it here: [Rolling Stone]
• Jennifer Aniston will do her own singing in her upcoming film The Goree Girls, the true story of a group of female prisoners who form a radio radio country western band in the '40s. "She can sing," says the movie's director, Michael Sucsy. "And she's going to learn how to play the Dobro." [E!]
• Robert Pattinson has no manners because he didn't hold a taxi door open for Kristen Stewart and he allowed her to get in first. How dare he. [E!]
• Kristen Stewart says of the rumors that she's having Robert Pattinson's baby, "It's so absurd. I walk out of my trailer with my pants undone - and they think I'm pregnant? I mean, really? They think I'm pregnant? Come on! Like, dude, I don't get it." [Daily Express]
• Mischa Barton dared to wearing shorts that exposed her "dimply thighs." [Daily Mail]
• Mary J. Blige will be a guest judge on American Idol. [People]
• Victoria Beckham went to Boston to watch a second round of American Idol auditions. Her rep says, "There are no talks of her being a permanent judge. She has Fashion Week coming up and she is focused on that. They asked her back because it went so well and she was so natural with the judges and the contestants." [Daily Mail]
• Adam Lambert wears a puffy black vest and matching scarf over a shimmery top in this photo from the cover shoot for his new album. [Dlisted]
• Bryan Singer may cast Justin Timberlake in his film reboot of Battlestar Galactica, not to be confused with Ron D. Moore's TV reboot of Battlestar Galactica. Frak. [Just Jared]
• Omarosa is entering the United Theological Seminary in Ohio to study to be a minister. [CBS News]
• Comedy Central has cancelled Reno 911 after six seasons. The show's creator/star Thomas Lennon Tweeted: "Reno 911! was cancelled at 1:30 pm today. Won't be wearing the shorts again." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• It seems the musical Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark really isn't happening as Evan Rachel Wood and other cast members have been released from their contracts. Now Wood's agents are scrambling to get her into movies she turned down to play Mary Jane. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Denzel Washington may executive produce a TV show about a gang member who becomes a cop. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston on if he'd ever pose nude: "It depends on the money, man. It's gotta be right for that." [Just Jared]
• Sarah Chalke and her fiance Jamie Afifi are expecting their first child. [Just Jared]
• Amy Ryan of The Office is epecting her first child with fiancé Eric Slovin. [People]
• Kendra Baskett got a shoulder length haircut. She explained on her blog: "So the other day I realized I needed a new look so I decided to go with the mommy haircut. I chopped off my hair to my shoulders!!!!! AHHHHHHH LOL. I really like it…it's so much easier to manage and in a few months I'm definitely not going to have much time to deal with my hair so this is definitely a great change :)" [Just Jared]
• Kourtney Kardashian, who is five months pregnant says she realized something was amiss when she was, "really nauseous, like, suddenly…not just in the morning. I would have to eat Saltines at all times in the day," and that her breasts became "huge and they were so sore." [Just Jared]
• Here's a compilation of Jon Hamm's pre-Mad Men work. [Buzzfeed]
• The men of Sterling Cooper (minus Jon Hamm) will be on The Soup tonight to promote the Mad Men premiere on Sunday. Check out the clip here: [E!]
• It's easy for Mad Men to incorporate products placement, but advertisers say whether it's successful or not depends on the brand. Heineken, Cadillac, Utz, US Airways, London Fog, and Smirnoff have all be featured on the show, but one marketing consultant says, "this does not work for every brand. If you are Maidenform, which has a more dated, Grandma's-bra image in the minds of women, showing torpedo bras and girdles only reinforces this image in absence of some sort of follow-up messaging that screams ‘today.'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• "I'm not trying to clean my image to make anyone happy. I could have gone the route of the Jonas Brothers. Those guys can't live their lives freely. They have to put out this image that's totally fake." — Trace Cyrus, Miley's brother. [Celebuzz]
• "I've never been one to paint myself up Hollywood style-I'm just not good at that. I don't have a healthy dose of that kind of vanity although I wish I did because then you know how to be cute when you need to be cute." — Jennifer Garner [E!]
• Pete Wentz says of his nude photo scandal in 2006, "Well, I handled it pretty terribly for the first 48 hours. I mean, I quit my band and everything. But then what I realized is that it's not the worst thing on the planet that's ever gonna happen. [I] apologized to my mom, realized that the best way to not have pictures on the Internet is to never take the pictures at all, and then made fun of it." [Socialite Life]
• "I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 value meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven. Now I'm the Sexiest Man Alive's chunky cousin." -Matt Damon on gaining weight for The Informant [N.Y. Magazine]
• "At one point in the movie Brad and I get kidnapped together and we're in the back of a truck. We're shooting it for three hours and it comes to the time to really know Brad Pitt, not just meet him. He's the greatest guy in the world, asking questions, making polite conversation. He's like, 'So, how's The Office going? How was it like moving from Boston to Los Angeles?' And I'm like, 'Well Brad ... ', just so comfortable and it occurs to me, 'Oh my God, it's going to be my turn to ask questions next and I don't know what to ask Brad Pitt that doesn't feel like you're some tabloid reporter! Like, 'How's the girlfriend? How's the being Brad Pitt thing?' In the end I was like, 'How's things going?'" - B.J. Novak on talking to Brad Pitt on the set of Inglourious Basterds [N.Y. Magazine]

• Leighton Meester made the September cover of Harper's Bazaar, and inside the magazine printed digitally-altered photos of the actress, intended to show how she will age. At 23, Meester is already a supporter of Botox. [WWD]

• Three little words: Rodarte for Target. This December. Fashionistas all over this country are going to be wetting themselves and there aren't even any pictures yet. [WWD]
• In terms of irrepressibly stupid shit, $450 Louis Vuitton chopsticks pretty much takes the sushi. [FWD]
• Nicole Richie, on her new maternity line for A Pea In The Pod: "You really feel like you have to change your whole wardrobe. And that's the last thing a woman wants to go through. So I really tried to make this line to get women excited about wearing clothes." [People]
• Somebody put photos of Alexander McQueen's former London home on the Internet. Creepy. [SB]
• Add this to the mounting pile of reasons to give London Fashion Week a look this season: a photographic exhibition dedicated to Twiggy will open on September 19, the same day as the shows, at the National Portrait Gallery. Twiggy turns 60 this year. [Telegraph]
• 18-year-old American model Ali Stephens, who still dreams of being a marine biologist, struggles to balance her education with her work schedule. "Being in school got hard because I was never there. I switched to online schooling, but that didn't work either because I never had time to do it. When I was working I couldn't do it, and when I wasn't working, I just wanted to relax. It was hard to motivate. So right now I'm studying for my GED. I'm going to take it before fashion week." [W]
• Milla Jovovich, on life's greatest pleasure, reading: "Recently I read all Edith Wharton's classics and I re-read all of Dickens. I love books about turn-of-the-century New York. I just finished Maggie: A Girl Of The Streets by Stephen Crane. I had a phase of reading books about 'new physics' and I love to read Scientific American and New Scientist magazines. I read so much I am like a zombie in the morning." [Daily Mail]
• Princess Grace of Monaco and Cartier are getting stars on the Rodeo Drive Walk of Style. [WWD]
• Roberto Cavalli, you tease! The Italian designer, who for most of this year has toyed with the idea of selling a stake in his fashion house, and released many contradictory statements on the subject, finally committed to sell — but he has now allowed talks to break down with Clessidra SpA. The private equity firm that had wanted to buy a 30% stake in his company was apparently disappointed by the designer's reluctance to negotiate on his high price. [WWD]
• Tommy and Dee Hilfiger are now parents to a baby boy, Sebastian Thomas, born yesterday. Congratulations to them. [WWD]
• Katie Grand's second issue of Love magazine features Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. What? [Fashionologie]
• Kanye West is in New York today to fête Casio G-shock watches. The brand is launching new timepieces designed by Redman, Mister Cartoon, and Todd Jordan — but none from Kanye, yet. [WWD]
• Although the African Growth and Opportunity Act, signed into law by President Clinton in 2000, was intended to offer certain sub-Saharan African companies a break on U.S. trade tariffs to encourage African countries to diversify their economies and manufacturing bases, nearly a decade on, 92% of trade done under the act is in petroleum products. And in Kenya, where apparel manufacture had been a growth industry until this recession began, most of the factories that produce clothing for export under the act are owned by American and Chinese companies. Kenya's apparel sector still employs 26,000 people, and their working conditions are governed by the act, which sets limits on work hours, mandates overtime payments, and bans child labor. [LATimes]
• Urban Outfitters' $24 knockoff of the 3 Moon Wolf tee is imported — but we'll wager not from Kenya. Which means that the t-shirt makers, New Hampshire company The Mountain, and the original artist, Antonia Neshev, probably aren't being paid for their work. Urban Outfitters rips off pretty much everyone, but it's sad to see them kicking around a company that uses environmentally-friendly inks and provides on-site daycare for its employees. Strangely, Urban Outfitters seems to be banking both on the shirt's notoriety, and on its customers not being able to use a computer to navigate to the Amazon sales page, where the original 3 Wolf Moon tee is for sale starting at just $11. [FishbowlLA]
• Iconix Brand Group, which owns everything from Candie's to Badgley Mischka, reports a 32% rise in second quarter profit, to $19.3 million. [Crains]
• Polo Ralph Lauren's first quarter profit dropped 19%. [WSJ]
• Gucci is going to open a traveling pop-up store, to hopefully sell some sneakers Mark Ronson designed at Art Basel Miami and other wealthy world hotspots. [WWD]
• Torrid's holding a model search — so if you or someone you know is a size 12-26 and really, really, ridiculously good-looking, send in some pictures! Deadline's Friday, so act quick. [Torrid]

• Last week, Katherine Heigl complained that "cruel and mean" Grey's Anatomy producers forced her to work a 17-hour day, but according to rumors, the schedule was the result of producers shuffling things around to let her promote The Ugly Truth.

• Ken Levine, a producer who does not work on Grey's, says that everyone on the crew was paid overtime for the long day, adding, "This is an extreme case of chutzpah, but it's not uncommon that when shows become big hits cast members become much in demand... All of a sudden, the show that launched their success is now sort of an imposition... So producers are put in the sticky position of either denying them these outside projects or moving heaven and earth to accommodate them." [The L.A. Times]
• EW reports that Jude Law is expecting his fourth child this fall, "following a relationship last year." A rep adds, "no other statements will be made." Mwahaha...we'll see about that! [EW]
• Brad Pitt joked, "It's so tough being an actor... Sometimes they bring you coffee, and sometimes it's cold, and sometimes you don't have a chair to sit on." [People]
• This morning Star said that Michael Cera is 21 and had been dating 33-year-old Charlyne Yi for the past three years, but the two recently broke up (right before their film Paper Hearts opens). Newsweek ran an article dubbing him "The Hipster's Cougar Cub" but then posted a retraction, saying she's probably in her early 20s even though numerous sources say she's 33. Nobody knows here real age, and Newsweek also says he's 20, so we really have no idea how old these kids are. [Newsweek]
• Michael Jackson's friend Dick Gregory said that during MJ's molestation trial he called him saying, "They're trying to kill me ... they'll poison me!" but he was actually just so extremely dehydrated that a doctor at the hospital said if he'd waiting another 12 hours to come in he would have died. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's former nutritionist says he mostly existed on juice and smoothie diet, but "He loved trail mix, and once a month he had to have fried chicken." [E!]
• Michael Jackson's chef, Kai Chase, said she knew something was wrong on the morning of MJ's death because Dr. Conrad Murray didn't come downstairs to get the juice and granola he brought him every morning. She says, "I started preparing the lunch and then I looked at my cell phone and it was noon. About 12:05 or 12:10 Dr. Murray runs down the steps and screams, 'Go get Prince!' He's screaming very loud. I run into the den where the kids are playing. Prince runs to meet Dr. Murray and from that point on you could feel the energy in the house change. I walked into the hall and I saw the children there. The daughter was crying. I saw paramedics running up the stairs." Chase, the nanny, the housekeeper, and the kids formed a prayer circle as paramedics tried to save MJ. [Us]
• The DEA and the LAPD are fighting with Las Vegas police because the former agencies wanted to do a simultaneous raid of Dr. Conrad Murray's Houston and Las Vegas residences to maintain an element of surprise, but the Las Vegas police held up the second raid for nearly a week. [TMZ]
• Q: What's hanging above your sofa? David Cross: A painting of Michael Jackson being honored in the Rose Garden with Ronald and Nancy Reagan by his side. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Is Blake Fielder-Civil just holding daily press conferences now? Today he announced that Amy Winehouse cheated on him with four other guys during their marriage. [The Sun]
• When asked about the tabloid-generated rumors that Jessica Simpson would reunite with John Mayer, John's friend Rob Dyrdek said "absolutely not," but added that he "wouldn't rule out... I'm just saying [I don't think so]." [People]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, Us claims Tony Romo is dating Natalie Smith, the daughter of his former athletic director at Eastern Illinois University, even though all parties deny it. A source says they're "are are not officially dating, but they are having an intimate relationship." [Us]
• Ryan Reynolds rep has denied rumors that he skipped Comic-Con because of a fight with wife Scarlett Johansson saying, "[The report] is completely untrue. Warner Brothers never planned to have Green Lantern as part of their panel at this year's Comic-Con and Ryan is in Europe shooting a film." [People]
• Yesterday Kelly Clarkson blamed producer Ryan Tedder for not telling her that the backing track on her song "Already Gone" is the same one used on Beyonce's "Halo." Today Tedder replied, "They are two entirely different songs conceptually, melodically, & lyrically and I would never try to dupe an artist such as Kelly Clarkson or Beyoncé into recording over the same musical track, the idea is both hurtful & absurd." [TMZ]
• Ugh. More Twitter clues that Miley Cyrus is leaving her Jonas Brother for Justin Gaston. She Tweeted a line from one of Gaston's songs (apparently he writes music) this morning. [People]
• Georgia Sheriff Al St. Lawrence says he didn't do anything wrong by arresting and releasing the 53-year-old man accused of stalking Miley Cyrus last month. "If we had heard something about this guy supposedly being a stalker or he had been charged with a felony he wouldn't have been released," said St. Lawrence. [WSAV]
• Johnny Depp is looking at schools near Bath, England, where he recently bought a home, for his children Lily-Rose, 10, and Jack, 7. [The Daily Express]
• Madonna has written a column titled "How My Life Changed" about her religious awakening for the Israeli paper Yediot Ahronot. [AP]
• Russell Crowe walked into a charity shop in the U.K. next door to the cafe he's been frequenting while working on Robin Hood and made a £1,000 donation. [BBC]
• Friends of LeAnn Rimes and Dean Sheremet aren't doing much to dispel the rumors that their marriage ended because he's gay (in addition to her affair). They say the two were always spotted shopping for clothes for LeAnn around Nashville and, "When she met Dean, the whole image of who LeAnn Rimes was completely morphed into 'fabulousity," says the source, adding, "Her wardrobe, hair and makeup changed almost over night from the time they started being together." [People]
• For some reason Radar Online has posted the last blurry picture taken of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen a few hours before she was killed in a hit and run. [Radar Online]
• Bob Barker met with members of the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians in North Carolina to ask them to stop exhibiting bears in pit-like enclosures at local zoos. [Yahoo]
• Yesterday Courtney Love insulted The Veronicas and Taylor Momsen via Twitter. Lisa Origliasso Tweeted: "Is wondering what is considered 'credible' these days anyway!? A sob story? A drug addition? A guitar? Bleached hair? Give me a break.." [The Veronicas]
• Though a promo for The Real Housewives of Atlanta shows Sheree Whitfield pulling Kim Zolciak's wig off, Kim says, "It didn't happen." Co-star Lisa Wu Hartwell said of the incident, "Did that happen? You have to tune in to see that. But I know she had a hell of a grab on that. She had a serious mean grip." [Us]
• A public records search has revealed some of the names of the rides at the theme park Wizarding World of Harry Potter inside Universal Studios Orlando, including Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Flight of the Hippogriff, and Dragon Challenge. [The L.A. Times]
• While promoting her new reality show How'd You Get So Rich? Joan Rivers said, "I'm still in this business at age 197, and am still relevant." [Media Week]
• A memorial garden honoring Adrienne Shelly, the Waitress actor, writer, and director who was murdered in 2006 will be dedicated in New York's West Village next week. [The N.Y. Times]
• Dolly Parton's Broadway musical 9 To 5 will close around Labor Day after a short run, losing about $14 million. [N.Y. Post]
• The Bachelorette Jillian Harris says of her engagement to Ed Swiderski, "It feels more normal than any relationship I've ever had," Harris says. "It's very strange how it's such a contradiction to have something so normal come from something that's so manic." [People]
• DJ AM was once a cocaine addict and survived a plane crash, and this fall he'll help the families of addicts stage interventions on the MTV show Gone Too Far. "There's no reason why I should have lived or why I lived and they didn't," Goldstein said. "I'm never gonna know. But I am alive and I'm here and I have to do something better with my life now." [The L.A. Times]
• "(I'm) a woman who has been through life experiences, thank God, and therapy. I love therapy! I'm very into it. I'm very in touch with my feelings, so I'm a completely different person. Not that different but you know... I gotta tell you, there's nothing like going in and sitting down and talking to someone who has no emotional tie to your life. Just to talk to someone. It's amazing." — Eva Mendes [The Daily Express]
• A fan asked David Beckham where he came up with his children's names and he responded: "With Brooklyn, we found out when we were in New York that Victoria was pregnant with him, so that's where his name comes from. Romeo comes from [the fact] that we're a very romantic couple. When we first met Tom Cruise - actually quite a few years ago – I said 'Isn't Cruise a really nice name?' And Cruz came from that. Tom was one of the first people we phoned when Cruz was born and told him. [People]
• When a reporter suggested Mad Men reflected the classiness of the '60s, Jon Hamm replied: "Buddy, I don't know if they had class back then. I can send you a couple of links of stuff where guys are berating their wives for making their coffee badly. What I think happened in the '60s is I think irony happened. And the idea of selling non-earnestly became cool. And obviously that's not a mistake that that's when the baby boomers started getting 18. We're seeing a lot of it now, we're seeing these cool hipsters, man ... You can't tell 18-year-olds anything. ... That's what happens. The irony happens. And it's cool to be in a not-cool place. Get it man? And so that's what the big shift was that our guys are trying to figure out." [The L.A. Times]
• January Jones said Mad Men producers admonished her for looking too thin. "I'm naturally pretty thin, so I'm trying," she said, explaining that all the women on the show are "encouraged NOT to work out. We want soft; we don't want any muscle definition. They tell us to gain weight, gain weight, gain weight, because they want a soft, voluptuous woman which they were [back then] which is beautiful, as it should be." [I'm Not Obsessed]

[Hollywood, July 27. Imaga via Getty]

HOLLYWOOD - JULY 27: Fans look on during the red carpet of the Industry Screening Of Walt Disney Pictures' 'Ponyo' at the El Capitan Theatre on July 27, 2009 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Kristian Dowling/Getty Images)

• Samantha Ronson reportedly returned home at 5am last night to find that Lindsay Lohan had been waiting on her stoop for hours. The paparazzi caught Linds crying, demanding to know where Sam had been, and shrieking, "I'm your girlfriend!"

• Lindsay had apparently been waiting with an anonymous friend who Sam kicks out saying, "She's on my property, I don't know her, I want her out." The girl leaves and Lindsay follows Sam into the house, slamming the door behind her. Video here: [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have split, reports US. "Nobody cheated," said a source. Didn't they just go to Africa together? [US]
• A car Katie Holmes was sitting in on the Australian set of Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark started sparking and burst into flames seconds after she got out due to a problem with the car battery. "Katie was very shaken by the ordeal," said a source. "She took the rest of the day off while special effects staff looked over the faults. Katie has filmed scenes since but it has made her think about her safety on set. She will be shooting the same scene at a later date." [The Daily Mail]
• "A source very, very, very, very close to Jon Gosselin" revealed exclusively to RadarOnline.com that Jon is secretly still dating both Hailey Glassman AND Kate Major." Two things: is the source "very, very, very, very close to Jon" Jon Gosselin? Also, if this is how Jon keeps a secret what's his version of a public announcement? Is he going to go door to door introducing us to his new girlfriend? [Radar Online]
• A reporter Kate Major used to intern for at Chicago Now says Kate told her she and Jon Gosselin are together but he "can't talk" right now due to his "situation," meaning his pending divorce and contract with TLC. [Chicago Now]
• Tony Romo has instructed security to keep Jessica Simpson out of his Dallas home. A sign at the entrance to his gated community reads "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN....JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS." [Us]
• Here's some good news: Rihanna's rep says that though she and Chris Brown stayed at the same hotel over the weekend, it was just a coincidence and they're not back together. Maybe she can explain that concept to Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart fans too. [MSNBC]
• A parole hearing took place today for the man who killed Kelsey Grammer's sister in 1975 in an attempted robbery. Grammer tried to attend the hearing but his flight was delayed, so he wrote a letter saying his sister was "smart and good and decent," and "I can never escape the horror of what happened" to her ... "Please do not release this man from prison." The parole board decided Karen Grammer's murderer will stay in prison for at least another five years. [TMZ]
• Kelly Clarkson's new single "Already Gone" has the same backing track as Beyonce's "Halo" and Clarkson says it's all the her music producer's fault. "No one's gonna be sittin' at home, thinking 'Man, Ryan Tedder gave Beyonce and Kelly the same track to write to ... no, they're just gonna be saying I ripped someone off," she said. [TMZ]
• The I.R.S has filed a $7,373 tax lien against P.Diddy's Atlanta restaurant Justin's Restaurant. Diddy says it's all a big mistake: the I.R.S. was sending notices to his identically named restaurant in New York that closed a few years ago. [The Detroit News]
• Tito Jackson has confirmed that Michael Jackson's body is at Forest Lawn cemetery. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Debbie Rowe just showed up at the Beverly Hills office of her former boss Dr. Arnold Klein, supposedly to visit another doctor who works in Klein's office. [TMZ]
• Fans at a Jonas Brothers concert this weekend concluded that Joe Jonas broke up with Camilla Belle after he changed the lyrics to a few songs and appeared to cry during the song "Camp Rock." [The Mirror, Perez Hilton]
• Now Camilla Belle's rep has confirmed the breakup explaining, "There is no third party involved and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends." [People]
• BREAKING: Victoria Beckham went to dinner with her hair in a bun. [The Telegraph]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has been threatened by the group of Palestinian terrorists featured in Bruno. A representative for The Martyrs Brigades released a statement saying they are "very upset" and will "respond in a suitable way." [The Telegraph]
• Lost creators Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof dropped some spoilers about season six at Comic Con, which you can read about here: [N.Y. Magazine]
• We're learning more fascinating details about Jennifer Lopez's 40th birthday party on Saturday night. Liza Minnelli, Gayle King, and various Lopez family members were in attendance, and a witness says J.Lo and Marc Anthony "were affectionate with each other and obviously loving the night. Marc's arm was around Jennifer a lot, they'd give each other pecks on the face every now and then. She was clearly pleased with how the night went." [People]
• Entertainment Tonight just figured out that Mischa Barton has been released from psychiatric evaluation (even though Us reported it last week.) [Entertainment Tonight]
• Joel Madden says he's working on a memoir about his experience with kids, relationship, and moving to L.A., "but I don't want to put a book out there if it's not actually meaningful. I'm not going to go there unless I can deliver." [People]
• Robert Downey Jr. will star opposite Zach Galifianakis in Due Date, a comedy about an expectant father (Downey) trying to get to the birth of his first child. Director Todd Philips of The Hangover describes it as "a buddy comedy without the buddies." [Yahoo]
• Robert Downey Jr. said he thinks he and Jude Law have a special chemistry in Sherlock Homes, joking, "It's called circumstantial homosexuality." He added that even in real life, "We just became really close really quickly, because we just rolled up our sleeves and started working from jump." [People]
• Tobey Maguire wrote a letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Tom Harkin saying, "As a parent, I am contacting you because I am deeply concerned that unhealthy school lunches are contributing to our nation's childhood obesity epidemic. My wife and I just had our second child, so this issue is tremendously important to us…Let me ask you please to ensure the Child Nutrition Act provides more fruits, vegetables, and healthy vegetarian foods. Young people deserve healthful food, and I can't imagine a better investment in the future of our country." [Politico]
• "I haven't chosen any other action films since Kill Bill because I felt that everything else just sort of paled by comparison. I don't like to get lulled into some hole that I can't get out of." — Uma Thurman [The Daily Express]
• Megan Fox says she's too afraid to watch horror movies, but she enjoyed starring in Jennifer's Body because, "For me to be able to play something that I would normally be frightened by was really intriguing and interesting... It's cool to see myself being able to scare people because I'm just a little girl." [People]

In a world of silk-garment photo-shoots and leaked camera-phone undie pics, it's nice to know that the majority of Disney's stable of young stars toe the line: indeed, a weird number. While it's natural that people who work together, are isolated from the rest of existence, and see each other every day should become incolved, the numbers still seem suspiciously high. There's Zac and Vanessa, of course; but also the dramatic Miley-Selena-Nick love triangle, and, until recently, Selena's BFF Demi Lovato (who's also been linked to Joe Jonas) and Miley's brother Trace. It's as incestuous as an isolated polygamists' cult - or a high school with no other students.

How do we know? Teen mags, select interviews, tabloids. None of this seemed quite so sinister before the Cyrus Affair and Disney's angry Big-Brother response, but now the mouse behind the curtain seems to loom in a way even youngsters can't ignore. As the Guardian relates, since their (very public) split, Demi and Trace have taken it to the Tweets:

"I know there's such thing as a Mr Right," tweets Demi. "But can there be such thing as a Mr Not Right Now . . . ?" Alas, it is not long before she is musing "Ur So Gay, Katy Perry – such a well written, relatable song. ;) HaHaHaHa."

"Another storybook ending," declares Trace sarcastically, before posting a picture of the girlfriend before Demi.

"I'm sorry, was that supposed to hurt?" responds Demi. "Hmm. Oh well."

Since it seems fairly sure that these kids do approximately nada without the mouse's say-so, one can only assume that, as opposed to these renegade photo shoots, this sort of thing is sanctioned: relatable, G-rated high school romance that can give the thousands of followers a vicarious heartbreak - just as they get a thrill when we just happen to learn that Nick Jonas has bought Miley a wholesome (but aspirationally large!) promise ring.

It's not to say these romances are fake (who could manufacture the pain of Disney-born "Cry Me a River?!") but doubtless...encouraged. One can only assume there are plenty of other relationships - and spats - we're not reading about. When one starts to make the jump to Old Hollywood and their publicity machines, though, you can't help but start to recall lurid stories - of gay stars set up in sham marriages, pregnancies disguised, narratives spun. I'm not saying that's happening today - I don't think it could happen today, not with Perez etc. on the loose - but if anyone could do it, it's Disney, the one place that still trucks in modern fantasy - and the accompanying old-fashioned cynicism.

Even Disney's Magic Can't Protect Its Teen Lovers From Heartbreak [Guardian]

• Kate Moss and Beth Ditto performed an "impromptu duet" at a club last night — singing "Space Oddity" by David Bowie. Guess who thought they did a great job? Simon Cowell. [The Sun]

• Simon Cowell is reportedly "exhausted" and "can't go on juggling three high-profile talent competitions." Will he quit American Idol, X Factor, or Britain's Got Talent? [MSNBC]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, has a nude scene in new movie I Love You, Beth Cooper. She says: "If I can't flaunt it at 20, come on! I mean I might as well show it now." [NY Daily News]
• FYI: Hayden Panettiere is single and looking to mingle, after dumping her boyfriend, UK TV presenter Steve Jones. [Daily Mail]
• Teenage heartbreak! Kevin Jonas, 21, is engaged to girlfriend Danielle Deleasa. "She said yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row," the oldest Jonas Brother gushes. [Rolling Stone]
• Brüno was re-rated to R from NC-17 after cuts and revisions. Specifically: Black circles will appear over certain naked body parts in three scenes. [Page Six]
• Jennifer Aniston, master chef? Friends say is an "awesome" cook and "everyone says she should open her own restaurant." [Daily Express]
• Oh dear: Holly Madison and illusionist Criss Angel: Back on. Just when we thought he'd made himself disappear! [Star]
• OK! magazine paid $500,000 for that "last" picture of Michael Jackson on the cover, and this columnist calls it "a new low." [MSNBC Scoop]
• One of Michael Jackson's former bodyguards says that he used to "confiscate" drugs from Michael Jackson and that Michael's doctors "have blood on their hands." This man also claims that Michael Jackson had a "secret girlfriend" when he died: "I'm not going to name who she is but I think the family were aware that there was someone special in his life who he loved and adored and had his ups and downs with. I don't know how long they've been a couple. I know she's been with him for some time in different capacities but... it's up to her if she wants it to come out or the family to speak about this very private information." [CBS News, Independent]
• Sources are saying that Michael Jackson's body had numerous injection marks. [TMZ]
• The DEA will assist the LAPD in investigating the doctors who treated Michael Jackson. [TMZ]
• Did Michael Jackson use the names Omar Arnold and Jack London to get more drugs? [TMZ]
• Will there be a public Michael Jackson memorial at the Los Angeles Coliseum? [AP]
• One place there won't be a public memorial: Neverland. [AP]
• "Michael Jackson had a mountain of unreleased recordings in the vault when he died - music that is almost certain to be packaged and repackaged for his fans in the years to come." [AP]
• This report claims that a second Michael Jackson will does not exist. [TMZ]
• "[Michael Jackson] didn't like his children to stand staring into a mirror for too long when getting ready. 'I look great,' young Prince once said as he combed his hair. 'No, you look OK,' Michael corrected him." [Daily Mail]
• The promoter of Michael Jackson's O2 concerts is understandably confused: "We want answers. We have poured millions of cash into Michael's comeback. All the tests pointed to Jacko being in fine physical shape. It's a complete mystery. The insurance company had an independent physician fly out from New York and give him a five-hour exam. We were told that he passed with flying colours. Now I would like see the results. If he was taking that amount of prescription drugs and cocktails, wouldn't that have been picked up in the blood test?" [Uri Geller "found Michael Jackson so sedated on a trip to the UK he screamed at him to wake up." [The Sun]
• Uri Geller also claims that he once hypnotized Michael Jackson and asked: "Tell me with total honesty - did you ever touch a child in an inappropriate manner? He answered without hesitation. 'No. I would never do that.' ‘Then why did you pay Jordy Chandler's family off?' 'It was the easiest thing to do.' He appeared to be still under deep hypnosis and I believed he was quite incapable of lying." [Spectator]
• Will ABBA replace Michael Jackson, playing shows on the dates he would have? [The Sun]
• Marcia Clark weighs in on Michael Jackson here. [The Daily Beast]
• Jermaine Jackson says of brother Michael: "He went too soon. I don't know how people are going to take this, but I wish it was me." [Breitbart]
• 64% of Americans say news organizations have covered Michael Jackson's death too much. [AP]
• Mischa Barton tried to bring a friend into a stall in the ladies' room at a club in London, but was stopped by an attendant. So Mischa went in by herself, but took so long that people were knocking on the door and asking if she was okay. Unrelated: One of the commenters on this story takes issues with Mischa's scuffed shoes: "A bit of boot polish wouldn't go amiss, they are disgraceful! I was always brought up to believe that you could judge a person's character by the state of their shoes." [Daily Mail]
• Daryl Hannah's essay, "Why I Was Arrested in Coal River, West Virginia," is a tale of Mountain Top Removal and activism. [Huffington Post]
• Check our the Photoshopped, porcelain-smooth face of Nicole Kidman in these citrus-flavored Schweppes beverage ads. [JustJared]
• Watch for Paula Abdul to guest star on Lifetime's new series Drop Dead Diva. She'll be acting, you guys. [People]
• Ryan O'Neal banned son Griffin O'Neal from Farrah Fawcett's funeral. [Page Six]
• Why did Rachel Hunter's "millionaire toyboy" call of he wedding weeks before the ceremony? No concrete answers here, just speculation, like: "It seems - excuse the pun - that the ice hockey player got cold feet over the couple's 13-year age gap." [Daily Mail]
• The medical examiner who oversaw the private autopsy on David Carradine has said that the star died from asphyxiation, and it was not a suicide. [Reuters]
• RIP Mollie Sugden, who played Mrs. Slocombe on Are You Being Served? We'll miss that purple bouffant! [Guardian]
• "It can be difficult to fight the pressure to be thin but I've learned over the years to accept who I am. My children help enormously. They constantly tell me I'm beautiful, which makes it easier." — Andie MacDowell. [Daily Express]
• "If audiences had known my true feelings, they may have felt I wasn't right for the series." — Sarah Jessica Parker, who admits that she is shocked by Carrie Bradshaw's "racy" antics. [The Sun]
• "I just wrote an illustrated children's book. It's going to be launching in about a year, but I just finished the text." — Tori Spelling. [In Touch]
• "I was going to start a rumor that I'm sleeping with Jon Gosselin, but even I'm not willing to go there with his free Ed Hardy hoodie and his tiger pants. Clearly, Jon and Kate have gotten everything free, including their house, I think. They kicked my [butt] in the getting-free-[stuff] department." — Kathy Griffin. [Austin 360]
• "I needed that time away [from acting] to get re-energized. So when Nia [Vardalos] called and said, 'I wrote this script and I want you to read it,' I said, 'What is it?' She said, 'It's a romantic comedy.' I said, 'Send it over!' I was droolin.'" — John Corbett. [LA Times]
• "We're not thrilled with how [President Obama] is dealing with the issue [of gay rights] right now, but my guess is that polling is telling him that the American people by and large are more concerned about the economy. He probably doesn't want to take on a hot social issue like this, but I think the memorandum he signed is a baby step. Legalizing gay marriage is inevitable." — Kathy Griffin. [Austin 260]

• Though Kate Gosselin filed for divorce from Jon on Monday, the filing does not contain custody information at this time. Will Kate ask for primary custody? How much time will Jon get? [Star Magazine]

• By the by, those Crooked Houses Jon & Kate's 8 play in? $7,000 a piece. [ABC News]
• Kate Gosselin is on People magazine, with the cover line: "It feels like I failed." [People]
• New Jon & Kate episodes will include Jon's new girlfriend, 23-year-old Deanna Hummel. [Gatecrasher]
• "Reports this week claim Aniston has been sent text messages by Angelina Jolie demanding she 'back off'." Heh. Hahhaha. Ha. [Daily Mail]
• Is Britney Spears going to be in a Nazi movie? Brain… cannot… compute. [National Ledger]
• Rihanna didn't take the stand in Chris Brown's court case, so now Cover Girl has resumed its ad campaign featuring the singer. It's okay to think she's pretty again! [TMZ]
• Perez Hilton has released a new statement in which he says: "Words can hurt." And: "I wish none of it had happened. I can't take it back." And: "Who I am as a person and what I do for a living are two separate things." And: "Several television and radio shows over the past couple of days echoed the sentiment 'He had it coming'. Would they have said the same thing if I was a woman? Would I have 'deserved it' if I had been stabbed? Or shot? Or killed?" [Perez]
• Anne Hathaway loans her friends designer dresses out of her closet. [Gatecrasher]
• If you work for Oprah, you're going on a trip! She is taking 100 employees - and their families - on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean. JEALOUS. [Gatecrasher via Pop Crunch]
• "Madonna is trying to recreate her beloved Wiltshire manor in the middle of Manhattan." [The Sun]
• "Fitness fanatic Madonna has banned smoking roadies from coming within 50ft of her…" [The Sun]
• Video of Zachary Quinto walking his dog with a friend who is dressed as a giant steak. Quinto falls, curses. The walking resumes. Inexplicable. [ONTD]
• LOL: Ellen's variety show will be called Bigger Longer & Wider. It debuts on TBS this Saturday at 9pm, with Kanye West, David Blaine and Nick Cannon among the performers. [USA Today]
• More drama involving Danielle Staub from the Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Smoking Gun has discovered that in 1986, she was charged with eight felonies, including extortion, cocaine possession, and narcotics conspiracy. And you know how Staub told People she was "never a prostitute. Never"? She told a federal agent she worked for an escort service. [MSNBC, The Smoking Gun]
• Great Q&A with Teresa from RHONJ at the link; she's asked if there's a little too much onyx and granite in her house abd says: "No, I don't think you can ever have too much. I coulda had more." [Newsweek]
• And! When asked, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much does Danielle annoy you?" Teresa answers: "20." [Newsweek]
• The stuff dreams are made of: James Franco reading Proust. [Page Six]
• Were Megan Fox and Josh Brolin involved in a New Orleans fire? [Page Six]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo: Over. But those hot tub pix live forever! [People]
• Liev Schreiber plays a cross-dresser in Ang Lee's film Taking Woodstock and says: "[Ang] really did like my legs. When I went to his office, the first thing he said to me was, 'Wow, you have really nice legs.' I thought, 'This part is mine.'" [NY Mag]
• Pardon my groan: The Jonas Brothers are on the cover of Rolling Stone (again) looking like they bought fake IDs and are headed to the local leather bar to watch some bear on cub wrestling. [JustJared]
• "Martina Navratilova sued for millions by 'wife' after being 'dumped without warning.'" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl will star in a romance flick called Life As We Know It, which she is producing with her mother. [Variety]
• Daniel Craig will star in Dream House, a psychological thriller about a man who moves his family to a small town only to find it haunted by the former inhabitants who were murdered there. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Craig Robinson, Heather Graham, Johnny Knoxville and Camilla Belle will join Kevin Spacey in the comedy Father Of Invention, which Spacey is producing. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Julianne Hough probably won't be in Footloose, as her acting is abominable. [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge of The Hills is getting her own reality show, creatively titled The Audrina Show. [EW]
• Epic Marilyn Manson interview! He talks about how he felt when he and Evan Rachel Wood broke up: "My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that's a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands." [Spin]
• Marilyn Manson also says of Evan Rachel Wood: "I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer." [Spin]
• John Travolta is in South Africa, as a way to honor his late son who loved safaris. [TMZ]
• Is R. Kelly involved in a scam that robbed the elderly of £1million? [The Sun]
• Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai is involved with some kind of illegal purchase of land, uh-oh. [Times of India]
• Michael Madsen owes Pierce Brosnan and Quentin Tarantino money. Not ten bucks — like $25,000 to Brosnan and $1 million to QT. [TMZ]
• "Rachel Hunter devastated as ice hockey player fiancé calls off wedding SEVEN WEEKS before big day." [Daily Mail]
• Come on baby shake your pigskin: Gloria Estefan and her husband Emilio are buying a share in the NFL's Miami Dolphins. [UPI]
• Joan Rivers is moving to L.A. and selling her Upper East side condo and Connecticut cottage, which is "so filled to the brim with campy knickknackery that it almost looks découpaged" and where Joan keeps a photograph of herself next to the bed. [NY Mag]
• Phil Spector is now in the "sensitive needs" area of California state prison, which is separate from the "gen pop." [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which TV star will absolutely scream when she discovers her husband was chasing girls at an L.A. nightclub over the weekend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q. Was it fun flipping the table? A: "Fun? It was heat of the moment and it was something that came spontaneously. That was my anger coming out. I just had enough of her. I was just done. I've never done it before. Will I ever do it again? I don't think so because I don't think I'll let someone get to me like she does because in real life I probably would have stopped hanging out with her." — Teresa, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Newsweek]
• "I'd be a liar if I said it was easy. I think it's very different nowadays for working mothers. Before, a woman could take two years off - a year for her pregnancy and then the first year, but I don't think that's possible for women in showbusiness or in any industry any more. You just have to keep going - keep looking forward. If you stop, you're like, 'Oh God, it's too overwhelming.' And believe me, I've had my fair share of those moments." — Anna Friel. [Telegraph]
• "I really cannot tell you if there will ever be another Batman movie. Chris [Nolan, director] has obviously done an incredible job with it. He's devoted to the movie that he's on right now. I'm none the wiser about we'll ever be revisiting Gotham or not." — Christian Bale. Of another Terminator movie he says: "No conversation has been had about that at all." [Pop Wrap]
• "That song is about when someone said to me, 'Okay, I want to be with you until I die.' And then they gave up. I was at the point in my life where I was like, 'Okay, let's die, but I tell you what, I'm going to kill you first, because I don't trust you.' Honestly. It's hard to look back and see myself as the same person. I'm very objective now. I started to apply this really fantastic rule that they don't teach you in AA or AAA, or any other acronym: Do drugs and drink when you're happy, not when you're sad. It has a great effect. But I can't say that I did that the whole time." — Marilyn Manson, still talking about Evan Rachel Wood. [Spin]
• "She's a lot shorter than I thought she would be, but I was pleased by that. I'm happy there was a flaw. Having said that, I think Angelina is pretty talented. And a remarkable human being, and a great mom. She's definitely not like any other lady I know." — Six foot three Liev Schreiber, on his five foot eight Salt costar Angelina Jolie. [Gatecrasher]
• "I did teach Abby how to say the f-word. I taught her how to drop the f-bomb in every way possible. I said, 'You're a child in an adult's world. I can't be a child for you. When she didn't swear, I said, 'You're starting to offend me Abby. If you don't start swearing every three words then I will fine you.'" — Cameron Diaz, 36 on working with Abigail Breslin, 13 in My Sister's Keeper. [Mirror]
• "I am so often puzzled [by journalists]. Sometimes they go, 'So what's this all about? ... What do you look like when you go home? Do you dress like this all the time?' It's rude! It's not nice… [Lady Gaga] is who I am. Me and my hair bow, we go to bed together. She sleeps where I sleep." — Lady GaGa. [Yahoo News via AP]

• Contrary to a report in the National Enquirer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are not splitting up. In fact, they're in love. Imagine that! [Us Magazine]

• Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie has been named by Forbes as the "world's most powerful celebrity," stealing the top spot from (dun dun dun…) Oprah Winfrey.Forbes' Celebrity 100 power rankings are based on a combination of earning power and media exposure, and four out of the top five places are held by female stars: In addition to Angie and Oprah, there's Madonna and Beyoncé. Do it, ladies! [Telegraph]
• Interestingly, Forbes chose Beyoncé as their cover model. Maybe Angelina was too busy making out with Brad? [People]
• The Forbes "Celebrity 100" list is here. [Forbes, Forbes]
• Eminem speaks about the Bruno stunt: "Sacha called me when we were in Europe and he had an idea to do something outrageous at the Movie Awards. I'm a big fan of his work so I agreed to get involved with the gag… After the ceremony I went back to my hotel and laughed uncontrollably for about 3 hours. Especially after I saw it on air." [Rap Radar]
• Power ballad showcase showdown: Jake Gyllenhaal and Zac Efron are "neck and neck" to play the lead in the big-screen version of Broadway's Rock of Ages. [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney is dating another waitress, this time she's an aspiring model in Miami. She looks really tall! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Ashlee Simpson "had to be restrained" at an event where she was drunk and told her husband Pete Wentz's ex — Michelle Trachtenberg : "I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!" [Page Six]
• Did Susan Boyle lose Britain's Got Talent votes due to a YouTube scam? [Telegraph]
• Lindsay Lohan is following Sam Ronson around London, but it seems like every time LL arrives at a club where Samantha is hanging out, Sam leaves. Wonder why? [Daily Mail]
• Oliver Stone and Shia LaBeouf have made a deal: Shia will star in the Wall Street sequel. [Page Six]
• When he's out of town, Kate Hudson watches boyfriend Alex Rodriguez play ball on TV. [Page Six]
• Stephen Colbert will be guest-editing Newsweek's June 8 issue. Is that concept intriguing enough to get you to buy the magazine, at a time when print is flailing? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh shit, here comes the Adam Lambert smack-talk. A "source" says: "He is such a diva. Rude to everyone - from fans right down to the lighting folks." Clay Aiken, is that you? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Miley Cyrus fired United Talent, her agency, and will go with CAA instead. UTA had repped her on her Hannah Montana deals, but Miley is probably looking to "grow up." [Deadline Hollywood]
• Oh dear: Christina Ricci and boyfriend Owen Benjamin have called off their engagement, Sad face! In this report is the classic phrase, "They're definitely still friends." [People]
• Kim Kardashian says: "I am not engaged!!! My new publicist was talking with Star Magazine earlier today and accidently referred to Reggie as my fiance so they posted the news on their website! There have been so many rumors flying around recently about Reggie and I being engaged that she assumed we were! So, sorry Star Magazine for ruining your exclusive! It's totally my publicist's fault haha." [Kim Kardashian.Celebuzz.com]
• From a review of Britney Spears' concert in London: "The costumes are pretty skimpy and there's nowhere the set designers haven't contrived to put a pole for her to gyrate around. And yet there's something unsexy about all of it, possibly because there's something weirdly characterless about the woman at its centre: you'd happily trade some of the special effects for the sense of Spears actually engaging with her audience rather than slickly going through the motions." [Guardian]
• Britney's trying to sell her old house — she even dropped the price by about a million dollars — but no one's buying. People! This is the scene of the famous ambulance ride. Surely you want to… Never mind. [E!]
• LeAnn Rimes is accused of "stalking" Eddie Cibrian in the new Us, but in response to that allegation, she says: "You know what, I'm a classy woman, I'm never ever going to battle anything out in the press." And: "I can't control other people but I can control what I say and what I don't. I refuse to get down on any one else's level and I'm going to take the high road on everything." Okay then! [People]
• The stars of The Hangover — Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis — have a wacky, silly banter off the screen, as well. [USA Today]
• Real Housewives star Bethenny Frankel gave Caroline Kennedy a copy of her book, Naturally Thin. Surely, just what Caroline always wanted. [Gatecrasher]
• Eyeroll: Kristin Cavallari threw glitter at some models during a fashion show in St. Maarten and almost got in a fight, yawn. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson's divorce — what with the real estate being held in trust for the kids and millions in the bank — is going to be messy. [TMZ]
• Mel Gibson's pregnant ladyfriend has an ex-husband who was married to her for five months. He says: "It's a period of my life that I would rather forget." Asked what his former wife was like, the man sniped, "You should ask all the other men - there were enough of them!" [Daily Express]
• While on break from shooting Dollhouse, Eliza Dushku visited Uganda and met with former child soldiers who are trying to reintegrate themselves back into society. "You learn so much that you would never be able to read in a book ... meeting people and hearing stories firsthand," Dushku says. "I can't bear to hear people say that they're bored in this day and age." [AP]
• Edie Falco says being the star of Nurse Jackie is different from playing Carmela on The Sopranos: "It really feels like changing careers in a way. [Sopranos creator David Chase] oversaw everything; we called him the master cylinder. We all had our input, but it ultimately trickled down to David alone in a room somewhere, I imagined, making all the decisions. I had trust in that. [But at Jackie], they're asking for my input on levels I've never been asked before. That's revelatory for me, and it takes a great deal of chutzpah, confidence, to be able to say that. I really am just an actress." [USA Today]
• Vanessa Hudgens and Mary-Kate Olsen will be in the teen romance film Beastly, a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. [Variety]
• "Stephen Fry and Ricky Gervais defend science writer sued for libel." [Telegraph]
• "Jude Law stuns the critics with a 'lucid, excellent' performance of Hamlet." [Daily Mail]
• Terrence Howard will develop a a TV drama based on the life of undercover LAPD detective Ronald Farwell, who infiltrated the Black Panthers. [Variety]
• Not-so-blind item: "Which rehabbed starlet is back in the tangled web of getting drunk every night?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was just a comment that you make, the same comment when you're 12. He just made it when he was 38 or however old he is. They had a friend over last night who is gay. I have two gay brothers. It was not done with malice, because I know them. It was a slip of the tongue. His "uh-oh" moment. Let's give Joe his "uh-oh" moment. We all get them. The Joe I know has no phobias, has no discrimination, he has family members that are gay. He has friends that are gay. He welcomes and embraces my two brothers that are gay." — Caroline Manzo, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey, on Teresa's husband, Joe, calling someone "gaylord." [E!]
• "It did take a lot of work. I thought it was gonna drop off easily because I had been in shape my whole life, but it wasn't. I gained about 50 pounds with my twins, and the first 30 dropped off like that, and I was like, 'Ha, this is gonna be so easy.' That last 20 - that took a while." —Jennifer Lopez, on losing her "baby weight." [Mirror]
• "First of all, you gotta run them around before the bath. Play a game of hide and seek or wrestle or muck around. Then they're exhausted. Then we all fall asleep on the bed!" — Hugh Jackman's secret to getting the kids to go to sleep. [People]
• "I'm reaching out to Susan. She should hook up with me and [Catholic classical trio]The Priests. We would be the world's first gospel supergroup. I think it's horrible people have been making fun of her. Susan just wants to love Jesus and sing – it's cute. Only I can help her out of her meltdown." — Beth Ditto wants to hang with Susan Boyle. [The Sun]
• "Filming a scene that involves being entirely naked and takes a couple days can be a little awkward. Thankfully you're there for so long and you're doing it for so long that you dispense with the awkwardness pretty quickly and start to have mundane, normal conversations – the difference being you're not wearing pants." — Ryan Reynolds, on letting it all hang out in The Proposal. [People]
• "In the movies, you often see the average-looking guy with the incredibly attractive woman. In my movies you see the average-looking woman with the super hot John Corbett. I'm happy to make those movies for all of us women. Guess what? We need people like me on screen. That's what movies are. You go and escape for a sec." — Nia Vardalos, whose directorial debut, My Life In Ruins, opens tomorrow. [LA Times]
• "They are men. They have desires. They have testosterone. If they make a mistake, I'm not going to hate them. I don't think they are above or below being seduced. I would be foolish if I thought that. I pray for them." — Denise Jonas, mother of the Jonas Brothers, worries that your slutty Jezebel lifestyle includes tarnishing her purity-ring wearing sons. [MSNBC]

• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz ran into his ex, Michelle Trachtenberg, and her boyfriend at a party. They had a pleasant chat but then, "Ashlee got very very drunk," said an insider. "She also kept making frequent bathroom trips."

• She got increasingly loud and obnoxious and then, "She was staring directly at Michelle and starting hurling insults at her," says a source. "She was grinding up on Pete like a stripper. It was actually pretty disgusting!" Ashlee reportedly screamed at Michelle, "I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!" [Perez Hilton]
• A California woman is suing Sacha Baron Cohen because she claims that while filming at a bingo tournament, "Bruno" knocked her over, leaving her with "two brain bleeds" that have confined her to a wheelchair. She says Cohen, "offensively touched, pushed and battered" her and that cameramen "attacked [her] for a period of one to five minutes to intentionally create a dramatic emotional response … while [they] recorded her humiliation and embarrassment." The only problem is she claims this took place in 2007, but the movie wasn't filming then. [Perez Hilton]
• A Keeping Up With The Kardashians rep has confirmed that Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian are engaged, but Kardashian says the wedding won't be on the show. "Reggie would rather die," said Kardashian. "He would rather not marry me. He's very private. We're complete opposites." [Star]
• Cher is suing Universal Music Group on behalf of herself and Sonny Bono, saying the label is trying to cheat them out of royalties to a compilation album. [N.Y. Times]
• Breckin Meyer stopped on the side of the road yesterday to assist people injured in a car crash, even though he wasn't involved in the accident. He stayed until the injured woman was taken away on a stretcher. [TMZ]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, Brandi Glanville, Eddie Cibrian's wife, has accused LeAnn Rimes of stalking her husband. "She refuses to leave us alone — it is shameful and scary. People are going to say it takes two to tango and I get that, but at some point LeAnn needs to stop asking him to dance," she says. [Us]
• LeAnn Rimes' rep responds: "These comments are incredibly defamatory. While there are always two sides to every story, LeAnn continues to remain above the fray and chooses not to play this out in the press." [People]
• Though this week's episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8 dropped from 9.8 million viewers to 5.9 million viewers, it was still the most-watched show on cable on Monday night. [Yahoo]
• A random person who was on vacation at the same time as Kate Gosselin in North Carolina said, "Everyone that's encountered her says she's been rude, mean and hateful." [NBC Miami]
• Now we don't know whether Spencer and Heidi Pratt are on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here or not (and frankly, we don't care). They quit and rejoined a few times, then it was reported that NBC replaced them. Now their rep says. "Heidi and Spencer are still in the jungle and part of the show." [Us]
• Javier Bardem has been cast as an evil hedge fund manager opposite Michael Douglas in Wall Street 2. [The Guardian]
• The interview at the link, in which Marilyn Manson asks a BBC reporter, "Do you want a fight? Do you want a fight with me?" two minutes after meeting him, only adds credence to the rumors that he has a drug problem. [BBC]
• Zac Efron is taking time off this summer. He says, "(I've) gotta regroup because this is all fun and kind of crazy, but it doesn't make you feel like a real person. So it's nice to take some time off and remember what your life's about." Is he burnt out or is he not getting any good film offers? [The Daily Express]
• Apparently we've run out of '70s horror movies to remake. Director Kevin Williams is talking to Courtenay Cox and David Arquette about rebooting the Scream franchise. [Hollywood Insider]
• Here's a lengthy article about Michael Pitt, who will star in Last Days, a film based on Kurt Cobain's final days. You may remember him as Jen's boyfriend on Dawson's Creek. [The N.Y. Observer]
• A family friend says Kelly Preston and John Travolta are doing a little better after their son Jett Travolta's death. "For months, [Kelly] just sounded so tired, like everything was taking all she had. She sounds a lot better now. She sounds rested, like she has turned a corner," says the friend. "They've both had weak moments and strong moments, but they have found it inside themselves to be strong for the other person." People]
• Kevin Federline and girlfriend Victoria Prince have arrived in the U.K. ahead of Britney Spears' tour. [The Sun]
• When asked about the Seinfeld Curse, Larry David responds, "Whaddya mean? Julia Louis-Dreyfus has a hit show. She's won an Emmy. It was the most absurd, silliest, stupidest thing to say that there was a curse... It's so annoying to hear something like that. There was no curse. It's crazy. So there were two TV shows attempted that didn't work? Big deal. How many TV shows work?" [Esquire]
• Paul Sculfor has confirmed that he and Cameron Diaz are no longer together, which we already knew. He says: "I'm very single and happy. Cameron and I are still friends. I'll be going back to the States soon - I don't know if I'll get the chance to meet her as I'm so busy I don't know what I'm doing." [The Daily Express]
• In the new Marie Claire Cameron Diaz says she wouldn't have more plastic surgery, but she has already had her nose "fixed" after breaking it four times. She adds, "I'd love a bigger butt, more meat on my bones. I'd love to be more voluptuous. It's just not my body type." [People]
• At a Californication screening last night, a fan screamed at David Duchovney, "We want to talk about your sex addiction!" [E!]
• What is wrong with people? In an online poll of the best imaginary older man/younger woman couples Mickey Rourke and Paris Hilton won, beating out fake couple George Hamilton and Lindsay Lohan. [UPI]
• Former Celebrity Rehab cast member Nikki McKibben said her addiction damaged her relationship with fellow American Idol star Kelly Clarkson. She says: "I haven't talked to Kelly in a while. She sent me tickets to a concert three years ago and I showed up high and I don't think she wanted anything to do with me after that," McKibbin added. "But I do love her, I'm so proud of her. She's such a great girl and she's getting everything she deserves." [Fox News]
• Neil Patrick Harris will host the Tony Awards on Sunday. He says he sees his role as, "ringmaster at the circus - I want to be strong enough to earn your trust but be able to allow all the specialty acts to shine." [Yahoo]
• Someone overheard Melissa Joan Hart saying that she hoped Farrah Fawcett would hold off on dying a week, so that she could keep her cover of People magazine. [Perez Hilton]
• Listen to Cloris Leachman's NPR interview about her new autobiography Cloris here: [NPR]
• Ashton Kutcher is the first person to pass 2 million Twitter followers. [Business Insider]
• Edie Falco says the reason she wasn't on TV for so long is that, "I got scripts after The Sopranos and I read them and waited for something to move me. Something's gotta grab my insides." [WWD]
• You can listen to Sally Field on NPR's Wisdom Watch here: [NPR]
• Fewer than 20 people complained to Britain's broadcasting watchdog group about the treatment of Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent. [The Miror]
• When asked if he and Diane Kruger are planning to have children, Joshua Jackson said, "Eventually I hope so," and added a message for Kruger's mother: "I know you don't speak English very well, but somebody should translate this for you 'Don't worry, you're not about to become a grandmother.'" [People]
• "I think most of us are raised with preconceived notions of the choices we're supposed to make. We waste so much time making decisions based on someone else's idea of our happiness – what will make you a good citizen or a good wife or daughter or actress. Nobody says, 'Just be happy – go be a cobbler or go live with goats.'" — Sandra Bullock. [People]
• Allison Janney said she took a part in the movie Away We Go, "because Sam Mendes asked me. He literally called me and asked me. Then I found out that Dave Eggers had written it and I am a big fan of his. Sam said that it was not a big part so if something else came up I could take it. He was so sweet. I read it and I thought I could totally have fun with this. I love working with Sam. He knows how to talk to actors, how to inspire you, and I trust him. He pushed me to be bigger and I would love to be considered part of his acting troupe." [Women And Hollywood]
• Peter Facinelli says wife Jennie Garth has a heart problem, but she's fine. "My wife has a leaky valve, which is pretty common. A lot of people have a leaky valve and they don't even know that they have it," said Facinelli. "My wife is an advocate for getting your heart checked, because her father had heart disease, so she found out she has a leaky heart. But there's really nothing you can do for it, so you just leave it alone." [People]
• Kathy Griffin says, "I want a third Emmy in the way most people want the stock market to rebound or Angelina Jolie wants one more kid. I have an Emmy-winning disorder, which I'm very open about... I am willing to trade one family member each year I win an Emmy. Now I'm going to go out on a limb here because all know that the real reason people watch My Life On The D-List is because of my mother and no offense to her ... but this year I will trade my mother for a third Emmy. Now I've discussed it with her as well as her nurse, and she knows it's not personal. But I will do whatever it takes, and she and I have an agreement." [The L.A. Times]
• Harper's Bazaar special projects editor Laura Brown says of the magazine's spread featuring Tyra Banks in a spread about the Obamas, "There were people who loved it - and then there were some people from Harvard who couldn't believe we put a Harvard sweatshirt on Tyra and thought it was outrageous." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "Maybe I'm a better role model than people like Miley Cyrus. These girls that have been upheld as role models who are literally just girls who have been ferried from place to place, media trained, told what to do and just like complete veneers of people - people who are not even real. I've made mistakes, now I've come up from that and I've really bettered myself." — Peaches Geldof, who divorced after six months of marriage, was filmed making a drug deal, and was hospitalized after a suspected overdose. [The Sun]
• Denise Jonas says she knows her ostensibly virginal sons, the Jonas Brothers, will have sex some day. "They are men. They have desires. They have testosterone," she says. "If they make a mistake, I'm not going to hate them," she says. "I don't think they are above or below being seduced. I would be foolish if I thought that. They are tested and tested, like every one of us. I pray for them." [People]

• Is Britney being forced to tour? An insider says she's emotionally fragile, but her father insists the show must go on. The source claims:

"It's a freak show right now. [Britney's] phoning every song in. It's pretty obvious she is not happy to be here." [MSNBC via E!]

• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart hung out after the MTV Movie awards and got cozy and OMG maybe something is going on and OMG it's just like Twilight OMG. [Gatecrasher]
• A source says Susan Boyle has been flooded with offers from all over the world, but Simon Cowell says, "Susan isn't signing anything or doing anything until she is better." Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious. [Daily Express]
• According to this report, Susan Boyle collapsed before being hospitalized — she had been crying all day and then passed out in her room; when she was admitted to the clinic, she wailed, "Where's Pebbles?" Medics arranged a phone call to her "beloved cat." [The Sun]
• This paper calls what happened to Susan Boyle an "anxiety attack." [Mirror]
• BGT Judge Amanda Holden says of Susan Boyle: "It's probably a blessing she didn't win as it takes off some of the pressure. Perhaps now she can relax." [Telegraph]
• Uh, Prince Charles watches Britain's Got Talent? [Telegraph]
• "Susan Boyle and Jon & Kate Gosselin are victims ... and YOU'RE to blame." [NY Daily News]
• In a poll, 48% of people who bothered to answer think that the eight Gosselin kids from Jon & Kate Plus 8 will be worse off for having taken part in the show. [USA Today]
• So, are Jon and Kate's "plus 8" being exploited? This columnist writes, "Of course they are." [MSNBC Scoop]
• What does Nadya Suleman think of all this? "[Kate] needs to stop being so judgmental and stop pulling at straws for attention. My children are extremely healthy, strong and happy. Don't you have, like, a lot of issues in your life? A lot of marital problems? Why are you so desperate to glob on to my life? For attention?" Wait, what? [Radar Online]
• Lady GaGa would like to have a foursome with the Jonas Brothers. "I love them. They're very talented!" [Gatecrasher]
• Beth Ditto looks pretty awesome on the cover of Attitude magazine. Inside, she calls "I Kissed A Girl" a "boner dyke" anthem for "straight girls who like to turn guys on by making out or like faking gay." And! She says: "I hate Katy Perry! She's offensive to gay culture, I'm so offended. She's just riding on the backs of our culture, without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all. She's on the cover of a fucking gay magazine." [Perez]
• Amy Winehouse's "Caribbean detox" is not exactly going as planned: By 9am she's had two shots of tequila, and this reporter says, "You can see scars which indicate that she has been self-harming - cutting herself - again and there are two cigarette burns on her stomach, which are healing." A worker in the resort says: "Over the past couple of weeks she's been drinking more and more. She used to have colour in her drinks - you know, juice - but now all I can see is clear liquid." [Daily Mail]
• Remember that Maserati Lindsay Lohan was cruising around in? It's yours, if you have $25,000 — check eBay. Fender benders? What fender benders? [TMZ]
• Shia LaBeouf will star in the latest John Grisham novel-turned-movie. [Gatecrasher]
• Adam Lambert's mom was asked about her son's sexuality and said, "I would rather not answer until it comes out." Interesting choice of words! She also says: "We signed a contract with Idol and unless it has been set up by them, I'm not allowed to answer." [E!]
• You probably guessed this, but the Eminem/Bruno stunt at the MTV Movie Awards was staged. [EW, LA Times]
• An insider says that Eminem was actually the second choice — Paris Hilton was MTV's first choice. Eminem was definitely the funnier choice. [Life & Style]
• Evan Rachel Wood: Seen making out with Shane West in Las Vegas. [Page Six]
• Some stalkerazzo asked Michael Jackson if he was gonna tour with the Jackson 5 and MJ nodded yes, so TMZ is reporting that there will indeed be a special one-night concert with the Jackson 5 and Janet in Texas. [TMZ]
• The very fabric of the world unravels as we discover that Robert De Niro stole his famous "You talkin' to me?" line in Taxi Driver from Bruce Springsteen. [Daily Express]
• What will Olympic gymnast and Dancing With The Stars winner Shawn Johnson do next? Go to college. She's narrowed it down to Stanford or UCLA and says, "I'm not sure what I'll be studying yet. Maybe I'll choose something in the medical field." [Gatecrasher]
• Nicole Kidman dropped out of a Woody Allen movie, in which she was to play a call girl, and Brit actress Lucy Punch has taken over the role. She has similar alabaster skin, so maybe that's integral to the part? [Page Six]
• What the world needs now: A Dubai version of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. Except, since it's the UAE, there's no alcohol, and swearing, sexually explicit conversation or risque clothing will be kept to a minimum. How sad is it that we live in a world where it's hard to picture a reality show without all that? [Variety]
• The Veronicas are in talks with MTV about launching a reality show in the U.S. — it would be a behind-the-scenes look at their life in the music scene. [News.com.au]
• Mel Gibson: Hasn't been taking communion recently. Probably because, technically, he is an adulterer. [People]
• Peter Andre is now living in a "huge seaside pad" in Hove, East Sussex — just a 30 minute drive from his estranged wife Katie "Jordan" Price and their kids. [The Sun]
• Here, the manse is called his "dream home." [Daily Mail]
• Peter Andre says: "I've been 100 per cent faithful throughout my marriage and still am." [Mirror]
• Put on your blonde wig and sing: The Disney Channel has ordered a fourth season of Hannah Montana. [Variety]
• The subject of the NY Times' Frequent Flier column today is Duff McKagan, of Guns N' Roses, Velvet Revolver and Loaded. He talks about bribing immigration officers of South American countries so his band could get in, and says: "Although I've never been convicted of a felony or even a misdemeanor, I have a suspicion that I'm persona non grata in airports. I'm always the guy that gets 'randomly' selected for a more thorough security check. I'm really the most nonthreatening of travelers. I mean, how much of a scene can I cause when I spend time doing crossword puzzles? I'm actually a crossword puzzle fanatic." [NY Times]
• Stephen Dorff is dating his publicist. [Page Six]
• Alyssa Milano will star in and produce a romcom called My Girlfriend's Boyfriend. The plot: An outgoing woman meets two seemingly ideal men in quick succession — a struggling novelist and successful ad exec — and must decide between them. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Excellent news: Sade is working on her first album in nine years. [Reuters]
• "A previously unseen photograph of Jane Fonda as Barbarella by Paul Joyce is to go on display." [Telegraph]
• Did you know that John Ratzenberger has been part of every Pixar release over the last 14 years? [USA Today]
• Jerry Springer razzle dazzled in his London debut playing the lawyer Billy Flynn in the hit musical Chicago. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which old-school pair of actor brothers constantly tag-team at parties, picking up the youngest girls they can find?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Don't call it 'civics' because 'civics' is easily the most boring word in America. Call it what it is: political power. I've got a very simple thing her. I've got a nonprofit initiative to get K-12 grades back to civics, to give our children real-world knowledge and hopefully wisdom about how to run this complex governance system. That's it. That's enough." — Richard Dreyfuss, on the The Dreyfuss Initiative. [AP]
• "He's a social butterfly, and loves being on tour. He loves it so much, he thinks it's absolutely hilarious to embarrass me as much as possible. For example, [I'm] walking into the hotel lobby after returning from dinner. It's a quiet, serene, beautiful when … Screaming voice from out of nowhere: 'HEY! THAT'S TAYLOR SWIFT!!' Me: 'Dad. Please stop doing that.'" — Taylor Swift. [People]
• "This season I made it like a sorority, the Paris sorority. It's about sisterhood, and they have to follow certain rules. In real life, you know, I'm not that superficial." — Paris Hilton, on the new season of My New BFF. [Mirror via E!]
• "I couldn't have given him kids - and anyway I want black kids, not white kids." — Amy Winehouse, on the news that her husband Blake is expecting a child with a blonde he met in rehab. [Daily Mail]
• "I stopped doing (romantic comedies). They are terrible; they are bad. They are not funny, so they shouldn't be a romantic comedy and most of the time they are not romantic. So they shouldn't be called a romantic comedy. They should be called that other kind of film. I'm not calling [The Proposal] a romantic comedy." — Sandra Bullock. [MSNBC]
• "Kanye West is the person pissing me off right now. The entire time Kanye is going, 'They need more fur in this show.' He just wouldn't shut up about how he loved fur. I mean, he's saying this to me, the PETA guy and Paul McCartney! I was just so grossed out by him. I'm like, 'You're an idiot!' There are so many people who I think are a waste of skin and he's up there. I should wear him." — Pink, to FHM Australia. [The Life Files]

• Jesus Luz went on a Brazilian TV program, Fantastico, and said of Madonna: "She is my friend, only my friend." Hmm. Wow. Okay. He also said:

"Madonna is a person who I admire very much, a friend who has entered my life and [with whom] I keep in contact. I cannot say anything more than I don't have plans of marrying her. I can't say if she is the woman in my life." Dammit! Are they shagging or not? What does it mean? [Gatecrasher, The Sun]

• Lily Allen: Not impressed by Susan Boyle! "I thought her timing was off on Britain's Got Talent on Sunday — no control, and I don't think she has an amazing voice." And! "She seems like a lovely lady but if the show is about talent, then that Shaheen kid should win." [Daily Mail]
• Aww, Kiefer Sutherland and Proenza Schouler's Jack McCollough have kissed and made up! Well there was no kissing, but the two did issue a brief joint statement: "I am sorry about what happened that night and sincerely regret that Mr. McCollough was injured," Sutherland said. "I appreciate Mr. Sutherland's statement and wish him well," McCollough said. Then a unicorn jumped over a rainbow and gumdrops and structured dresses fell from the sky. [USA Today]
• Kiefer's headbutt incident caused some drama on the set of the film he's working on. [Daily Express]
• Guess who was out drinking Thursday night? Kiefer Sutherland. He had his 21-year-old daughter with him. [Page Six]
• Check out the toothless picture Demi Moore posted of herself — from the dentist's chair — on Twitter. Nice glasses. [Daily Mail]
• Charlotte Gainsbourg has won the best actress prize at the Cannes Film Festival for her role in Lars von Trier's Antichrist — in which she does unspeakable things to the genitalia of Willem Dafoe. Congrats! [AP]
• Tragic: Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter is on life support after she was found with her neck caught in the cord of a treadmill. [AP, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Cate Blanchett spoke at the World Business Summit on Climate Change in Copenhagen yesterday, saying: "Australia's best climate scientists have been warning us that we'll face many more catastrophic fire days in south-east Australia unless the world acts to dramatically cut greenhouse pollution. We have the ability to kick start the low carbon economies of the future right when we need to, and that's now." [Breitbart]
• Natalie Cole has been released from the hospital five days after getting a kidney transplant. The memorial service for her sister, who died from lung cancer the same day Natalie received a kidney, was held yesterday. [People]
• We've heard this a zillion times, but now it's confirmed by his "people": Mel Gibson's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant. [People]
• "Actress and Scientologist Kirstie Alley is on a Twittering crusade against a bill that would provide money for screening, diagnosis and treatment of postpartum depression." Here are some of her Tweets:"I have to get you all info on THE MOTHER'S ACT. this is this lousy BILL that would give BIG BROTHER the right to force you to drug ur kids" And: "AND MANDATE that when you are pregnant, YOU MUST take drugs if a Dr. tells you to. THIS is BIG BROTHER at his finest. More on this soon moms." Plus: "I am organizing a MILLION MOM MARCH to protest this BILL. It just keeps rearing it's head. BACKED 100% by BIG PHARMA. MOMS UNITE!!" According to a spokesperson, the "Mother's Act," sponsored in the Senate by Sen. Bob Menendez, will not force "expectant mothers or new mothers to do anything." The spokesperson says: "Furthermore, the pharmaceutical industry has had nothing to do with this bill. We frankly have no idea where they get this stuff." [Politico]
• Lindsay Lohan will star in The Other Side, an indie comedy Katie Holmes was supposed to make. Apparently Katie was really into the script, sending notes and stuff, and then there was a scheduling conflict. This is the one with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Jason Lee, Alanis Morissette and Dave Matthews; Lindsay will play a grad student who goes to spend her summer doing research on a remote island, where she discovers a community of eccentrics who share a secret. [Yahoo via E!]
• While Monica Bellucci was at the closing ceremonies of the Cannes Film Festival, burglars stole about $112,000 worth of jewels, a laptop and such from her Paris apartment. It's so To Catch A Thief! [Reuters]
• Whoopi Goldberg cut her Las Vegas stand up show short on Friday night after a man in the audience had a seizure and collapsed. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's mom, Janis, says Amy drinks because she's bored. "Amy knows her drinking ruined the performance. Of course her band is frustrated, but even they can't stop her. It's just another one of Amy's addictions getting the better of her. It's yet another demon she has to beat. She came off drugs on her own so I know she'll stop drinking too much too. It has to be her decision though, no one else can stop her." [The Sun]
• Colin Farrell will be the best man when his gay brother Eamon Farrell marries his partner Steven later this year. [Daily Express]
• Shocker: Jon & Kate Plus 8 is staged, says Kate's sister-in-law Julie. She blogs: "When the show first started, Kate made a wish list of things that she wanted, and that became the theme of each episode - the carpet, twins' room, bunk beds, cow, hair plugs, teeth whitening, trips, etc. EVERYTHING that you see them do or buy is completely paid for out of the budget for the show or traded for free advertising … The episodes are also staged. Here's how it works ... there is a staff of people reading these blogs and they base the shows around what people are talking about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The Real Housewives Of New York are getting a raise: Next season they'll get "upwards of $30,000 per episode." Raise your hand if you feel impoverished now. [NY Daily News]
• Lost's Evangeline Lilly says that producers "have seen that I haven't picked up on the opportunity to become a big movie star. It frustrates [them] that they've given me this chance to become the next Angelia Jolie" yet she hasn't gone after it. She adds: "Sure, I'd love to be her, but just the humanitarian side." [Page Six via Women's Health]
• Desperate Doused Wives? Teri Hatcher jumped into the pool fully clothed after performing with her charity group, "Band From TV," at Miami Beach's Shore Club. [Page Six]
• Mandy Moore loves watching the cagefighting mixed-martial arts of the UFC: "It's the best way for me to get out my aggression," she says. "The rush of adrenaline, being in an arena with 20,000 screaming people-it's overwhelming in the best way." [Maxim]
• Kevin Bacon's BlackBerry was stolen at a subway station in NYC on Thursday — and KB totally chased the guy! Unfortunately, he didn't catch him. [Daily Mail]
• Liz Taylor is in the hospital, but it's only a routine visit. Also: La Liz hearts Twitter. [MSNBC]
• "Brooke Shields: 'I was a virgin until the age of 22 because I didn't like the way I looked.'" [Daily Mail
• Rapper T.I. played a farewell concert to an arena packed with 16,000 fans Sunday night; he's due to report at the Federal Correction Institution at Forrest City, Arkansas by noon today. [USA Today]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Model Adriana Lima is reportedly three months pregnant; she eloped with NBA player Marko Jaric on Valentine's Day earlier this year. [Gatecrasher]
• Are you wondering if the Jonas Brothers are fizzling out as a Disney franchise? Here's a 1,114 word story that will sort of, but not really, answer that question. [NY Times]
• In this interview with Michael Bay, he divulges that the new Transformers movie takes up huge chunks of computer memory with its special effects. The first Transformers took up "an astounding 15 terabytes," and the sequel required 140 terabytes. "That breaks every record," says Bay. Also: Did you know he directed that old Aaron Burr "Got Milk" commercial? [LA Times]
• Phylicia Rashad, aka Claire Huxtable, is taking over as the mother in the Broadway play August Osage County. This article notes, "In a notable flourish of so-called nontraditional casting, Ms. Rashad inherits a white stage family of three daughters, a husband, a sister and other relatives." [NY Times]
• Are Kylie Minogue and her hot hottie gonna get married? [News.com.au]
• Not that you care but: "Peter Andre tells Katie Price it's 'too late' to reconcile, as he spends first day back with his kids." [Mirror]
• Morrissey has canceled more tour dates due to illness. [BBC News]
• For the last few weeks, there's been lots of buzz about the book Hollywood producer Jon Peters was going to write — with details about Barbra Streisand and so on — and now his book deal is off. Although he's still going to write a book. [Deadline Hollywood]
• "A Night Out With" Nia Vardalos includes Greek desserts, men yelling out blessings in Greek, and Rita Wilson dipping her tongue in a shot glass of Jägermeister, with Vardolos urging, "Do it, do it, do it." [NY Times]
• Sly Stone — previously reclusive — has been taking the stage lately, to support his 27-year-old daughter Novena Carmel, and her band, BabyStone. [CNN]
• Two Scottish cities are fighting over Groundskeeper Willie of The Simpsons. Is there nothing else to do? [The Sun]
• Grumpy Paul McCartney is reportedly "furious" about the switch to digital cable. "He doesn't think it's right that you have to either go to the trouble of getting an adapter or you have to buy a new TV, which he should do anyway," says a source. "You'd think he'd have an apartment full of flat screen TVs but really, he's got these old clunky sets in this tiny New York apartment." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Attention, Black Magic Women: Tomorrow, Carlos Santana will kick off a two-year residency at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. [USA Today]
• RIP Jay Bennett, former member of the band Wilco. [E!]
• Tony Curtis called Joan Collins a "****" but it's tough to figure out what those stars stand for. [Daily Mail]
• Liberty DeVitto, who played with Billy Joel for 30 years, has sued the singer claiming he's owed overdue royalties. [UPI]
• Do you want to read a quote from Heather Mills' ex-fiancé, Chris Terrill, in which he compares her to a tornado? Then by all means, click the link. [Mirror]
• Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian made a whopping $70 million over the last four days; Terminator Salvation made about $65. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Phish tour: Sold out. Go find your tie-dye. [UPI]
• "Simple Minds return with a new album but the same defiant attitude." [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "What seemingly sweet small-screen starlet is actually so nasty that she won't speak to anyone on set until she 'has her face on?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was a divine beginning and it went on becoming more romantic. He took more attention than you can imagine to make sure you were sexually OK, with tiny wee cushions everywhere so one was comfortable. I never knew anyone who gave one such tiny, exquisite attentions. It was like having a wonderful parrot who bites everyone else but you. Everyone said: 'Oh Serge, he's so dangerous.' I said : 'Oh yes, he is,' but really, he was a pushover – very sentimental, very romantic." — Jane Birkin, on Serge Gainsbourg. [Guardian]
• "I don't take myself so seriously. All these people think I do. Look, a lot of people think it's fun to hate on Michael Bay. There's a lot of poison on the Internet. People always try to knock someone who's had a ton of success in movies. Whatever." — Michael Bay. [LA Times]
• "Becoming a mum was the single most profound, self-adjusting moment in my life. I birthed myself. It's like I took back my life. I took back the essence of who I am." — Thandie Newton, who struggled with bulimia before she got pregnant. [Times Of London]
• "Very swiftly we turned into two different people, and it's just hard. He's angry with me that he's home and I'm not. Yet he doesn't really feel great about me, so he wants me to travel. It is so involved I almost can't put it into words. I think the thing that makes me the maddest is: Jon made some mistakes and he was out and whatever, and that made people question him. I'm doing what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. I'm working and traveling. [which led to reports that she was having an affair with her bodyguard]." — Kate Gosselin. [AP]
• "Since I've played for years, I get a little break. I think if I were doing rock music, there would be more doubt because there's such a great tradition of actors doing rock music so badly." — Steve Martin, on his banjo playing and bluegrass album. [NY Post]
• "I have never tap-danced in my life and I was kicked out of the choir in the fifth grade because I can't sing, but for this movie I had to tap-dance and sing in one scene… when I was supposed to be nine months pregnant. So I had tap shorts over fishnets around a fake pregnancy belly, and when I put my arms up to tap-dance in front of 300 people, my pants fell down. It was like embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment." — Sarah Chalke, on shooting the Lifetime movie Maneater. [NY Daily News]
• "For me, it's not a pastime, going out and meeting people and trying to hook up with people. That actually makes me feel disgusting. From a really early age, I was really sensitive to that. Getting your flirt on is the best thing in the world, but when it comes to sharing bodily fluids with a person I don't know — no thank you." — Katy Perry. [Gatecrasher]

[Image by Steven Klein via W Magazine.]

• Christian Bale looks dirty and hot on the cover of the new EW! Inside, he talks about that infamous rant that was so popular it got turned into a dance remix:

''I don't care to go into details because, you know what, I don't believe in making excuses,'' he says. ''It doesn't matter. It was unacceptable. I went too far. And I learned from it.'' He continues: "I was surprised at myself hearing it back. These things happen, and you don't realize how long you're going in the heat of the moment. I would just say: inexcusable, my fault, yes, I did it, no excuses." As for apologizing on the radio, he did so because: "I was being told how it had gone like wildfire, and I was worried that it could completely overwhelm the movie itself. There's so much hard work that's gone into this. We had 77 days of smooth running and four minutes of me just going way too far - and that shouldn't characterize the making of the movie. My concern was that people would unfairly judge the movie based on my bad behavior." More at the link! [EW]

• Uh-oh: Gerard Butler has been charged with misdemeanor battery after a "run-in" with a paparazzo on October 7. He's not required to appear in court. [USA Today]
• Natalie Portman is still seeing Sean Penn, and just bought a gothic mansion in L.A. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• The uncle and grandmother of the little girl Madonna was trying to adopt are seeking legal action against the man who claims he is the child's father. [Mirror]
• Terry Gilliam is hoping Heath Ledger will will a second posthumous Oscar for his film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. [NY Mag]
• Christian Bale says his daughter will not be an actress: "Amateur is absolutely fine, but no way professionally. I've seen the way that unfortunately some kids are unhappy in those situations. There's no way I'd put my daughter through that." [Daily Mail]
• Ben Stiller, his wife Christine Taylor and Ricky Gervais toured the White House yesterday. President Obama was in New Mexico. [Reuters]
• Oprah now has 1 million followers on Twitter. Are you one of them? [Business Insider]
• It seems that Britney's dad punched Sam Lutfi in the chest at some point last year, but he was "provoked" and trying to "protect" Brit. [TMZ]
• Of course TMZ has screen shots from the surveillance video of the attempted break-in at Lindsay Lohan's house. If you want to see a Dodge Magnum station wagon and two guys doing something shady, go ahead and click. [TMZ]
• "Lindsay Lohan finally lands another acting gig - but can she behave on set?" [NY Daily News]
• Will Pink and Carey Hart have another wedding, even though they never really got divorced? "I love a party," Pink tells Ellen. [People]
• Magician Criss Angel is an alleged cat thief. [Page Six]
• Kelly Osbourne has written a book! "It's more of a self-help book for young women, the 13 major things that will happen to you before you turn 21 and what I did - most of them not right - and my advice and what I would have done differently." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Ashlee Simpson is pregnant with her second child. [PopCrunch]
• Guess who is getting a role in a West End musical, thanks to Andrew Lloyd Webber? Ms. Susan Boyle. [Telegraph]
• Why did Shanna Moakler resign from the Miss California USA Organization? "The turning point for me, I guess, was when I was watching the Today show and [Carrie Prejean] was sitting there continuing to lie. And it's obvious to everybody that the lying is still going on. I just couldn't stand behind her." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Coming in 2011? Bridget Jones The Musical. [Daily Mail]
• Jane Krakowski wants Barack Obama to be on 30 Rock: "We've had Steve Martin. We've had Oprah. We've had Jerry Seinfeld. We've had all these great musical greats. Let's just go for the big guns now." [E!]
• Speaking of 30 Rock, Judah Friedlander and Alec Baldwin are both working on interesting side projects. [NY Times]
• Last week's "Motherlover" video Andy Samberg made with Justin Timberlake wasn't finished until 3 a.m. Saturday — hours before it would air. Samberg hopes to make a video with host Will Ferrell this week! [USA Today]
• What's this? More Scrubs? With Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke signing on? [E!]
• Ew: "Desperate Jordan has sent hubby Peter Andre a string of begging text messages pleading: 'If you let me come back I'll be like a wild animal in bed again.'" [The Sun]
• Eighteen years after winning an Oscar in Silence Of The Lambs, Sir Anthony Hopkins will play Hannibal Lecter again. Will Cate Blanchett play the FBI agent? [Daily Express]
• The Jonas Brothers have postponed shows in Mexico because of the swine flu. [Reuters]
• This article has interesting details about Steven Soderbergh's new film, The Girlfriend Experience; some scenes were improvised: "For instance, a scene where Mr. Santos's character interviews for a job at a gym was done in a single take. Mr. Soderbergh says he simply set up two cameras and instructed Mr. Santos and the gym's actual manager to do a mock interview. 'I just said, 'try and get a job from this guy. See if you can convince him to give you a job.' The exchange lasted about eight minutes, and was edited down to a one minute scene in the final version of the film. 'My experience has been, the more takes you do, the worse it gets,' says Mr. Soderbergh." [WSJ]
• California health regulators have fined the hospital where employees snooped in the medical records of Nadya Suleman, to the tune of $250,000. [LA Times]
• Erin Lucas, who is Whitney Port's BFF on The City, is talking shit about Kristin Cavallari, new star of The Hills. Lauren is such a genuine girl. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and she was real with the whole thing. I don't think Kristin is on that level. Wasn't Kristin like all gung-ho about being an actress? I mean, I read interviews last week, for that matter, where she's quoted making fun of the show and trashing it and saying she would never be a part of it. So to go from trashing a show, to go on and replace the girl you fucked over in high school…I don't see it going anywhere pretty." And who are you again? [E!]
• Lyrics from Peaches (not Geldof — electro Peaches!): "I drink a whiskey neat/You lick my crow's feet/Coming up to see me like I was Mae West/less like Tina/but I'm simply the best/Call me Robyn Cradel/baby baby be my guest." In this interview, she says: "I'm going to make aging cool." [NY Daily News]
• Holly Madison will replace Kelly Monaco in the "sultry" Las Vegas revue, Peepshow, which Mel B. also appears in. Although there are topless dancers in the show, neither Mel nor Holly will be barechested. [People]
• "Why George Harrison begged one young fan to stop throwing Jelly Babies at The Beatles." [Daily Mail]
• Farrah Fawcett loves Van Morrison, so the musician filmed his recent shows so he could give copies to Fawcett to watch while she's home in bed, fighting cancer. [E!]
• "Farrah's Story is as much about becoming aware of our own mortality as it is seeing a cultural icon fight the disease." [MSNBC]
• Even though they have been together for nearly 20 years, Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett never got married, but he says he would do it now: "She's still a little bit hesitant. I'm working though, I'm working." [Mirror]
• Ryan O'Neal says of Farrah: "I kind of wish that she would go to sleep, just go to sleep. It's not my right, but I just don't see how she could be happy." [NY Daily News]
• Candy Spelling has known Farrah Fawcett for over 30 years — Aaron Spelling produced Charlie's Angels — and Candy says of Farrah Fawcett's cancer: "When I first heard, I don't know if it was a year or two years ago when we first heard, and I contacted her. I hadn't talked to her in a while. She said, 'I'm going to be alright, Candy. Everything is going to be all right.'" [CNN]
• Anna Friel of Pushing Daisies will play Holly Golightly in a new stage adaptation of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which troubled young starlet was caught doing lines with her new bestie at a hot NYC club?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I probably haven't worn my heart on my sleeve like this since the second Cranberries album." — Dolores O'Riordan. [USA Today]
• "I wasn't intending to do a popular television series. I was intending to do film and theatre. I got waylaid a little. Since that's over, I've got back to doing what I originally intended to do." — Gillian Anderson, whom you may know as Dana Scully, but who is starring in A Doll's House on the stage in London. [Daily Express]
• "I really believe on a daily basis that there's a line of communication between me and my dogs which we haven't defined yet. I really talk to them. And I also talk to my guinea pig, Mr James, every single morning. I sit and watch him on that wheel every day, trying to answer the question that is: 'Do they do it for exercise? Or do they think they're going to reach a destination?' Because that's a terrible metaphor for all of us. Because that's all life is perhaps? Nobody is gonna tell you the truth like I do." — Dustin Hoffman. [Independent]
• "I think Dan Brown is a terribly bad writer, but he has cliffhangers after every chapter which makes you continue reading. It's like eating peanuts at a bar. You don't like them, but you keep on eating them anyway." — Stellan Skarsgard, who only took a park in Angels & Demons because the script was different from the book. [Newser via AP]
• "To me, 10 o'clock is like the new 11:30. I hear more and more people, even young people, say 'I can't stay up past 11. I car pool, I gotta get up at 6.'" — Jay Leno. [CNN]
• "He always had the most ridiculous fashion. When it came to hairstyles he would have blow-dried hair like the Bay City rollers, then an awful perm. When he was 14 he tried to grow a moustache." — Simon Cowell's brother Nicholas. [The Sun]
• "Her boyfriend Tony Romo is one of my favourite quarterbacks. So I felt kinda conflicted doing the Jessica thing. Jessica got fat. I mean, not really fat, but she certainly got fat for, well, Jessica Simpson. I've always wanted people to be able to look at each video and go 'oh remember what was going on at that moment.' You know what I mean? 'Oh, that's when Jessica Simpson got fat, oh OK.' And even if she gets thin again, that's fine. Just for that moment in time, she was fat." — Eminem. [Mirror]
• "People were telling me, 'Christian, you're too good for Terminator.' And I'm thinking, I'm too good? I'm not a snob. I really fucking enjoy watching a good action movie. Who do you think I am?!'' — Christian Bale. [EW]
• "Being a mom makes me feel whole and like I understand the meaning of life." — Rebecca Romijn, to In Style. [People]

[London, May 13. Image via Getty]

A fan runs to attend the premiere of the film 'Jonas Brothers, the 3D Concert Experience' at Leicester Square, London on May 13, 2009. AFP PHOTO/CARL DE SOUZA (Photo credit should read CARL DE SOUZA/AFP/Getty Images)