[New York, November 22. Image via INF]

Earlier: As The Obama Transition Begins, So Does The Kiss And Tell On Palin

Doris Kearns Goodwin Interview [The Daily Show]

Community Organizers [The Daily Show]

Let's start with the name itself. Is there something intrinsically assholic in those two syllables? It's an Old English name, meaning "garment maker" or "cloth cleaner." Some famous Tuckers throughout history include Preston Tucker, an automobile designer behind the "Tucker Torpedo," the production of which was suspended because of stock fraud accusations. He sounds like kind of a dick! However there's also Jonathan Tucker, who did a sex scene with Josh Lucas in the 2001 film The Deep End. We are not mad at him.

Anyway, let's commence with the four terrible Tuckers currently sullying the nation's discourse:

Tucker Max
Claim To Fame: Has built a career out of being the asshole of the century. He started a blog about being drunk and hooking up with girls in the halcyon early days of blogging, and rode his tales of jerkdom to moderate fame and mild fortune. His continued popularity — his book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, has been on the New York Times bestseller list for years — only proves that there are a TON of assholes out there, which is completely depressing! Thanks for depressing us further, dick.
Trademark Tucker:"My mom told me when I grew up I could be anything I wanted. So I became an asshole."

Tucker Bounds
Claim To Fame: Bush media aid turned McCain spokesman, Bounds has had the unfortunate task of defending McCain's media manipulations and sometimes, outright lies. As Gawker noted, Bounds has become a "human piñata like Ari Fleischer and Scott McClellan before him." He was even told off by a Fox News anchor. Now that's an accomplishment, when you're a Republican flack.
Trademark Tucker: Of Palin's foreign policy experience, Bounds said, "She's been the commander of the Alaska National Guard that's been deployed overseas. That's foreign policy experience." Only slightly more coherent than I can see Russia from my house.

Tucker Carlson
Claim To Fame: Republican talking head Tucker Carlson used to co-host a show on CNN called Crossfire until Jon Stewart appeared on that program in 2004 and told Carlson he was a "partisan hack" who was "hurting America." Tucker was fired shortly thereafter, and he's since gone on to a tepid Dancing with the Stars performance in 2006 and a steady gig offering his partisan hackery to MSNBC.
Trademark Tucker: "Anybody with any ambition at all, or intelligence, has left Canada and is now living in New York. Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice but you don't take him seriously. That's Canada."

Tucker Eskew
Claim To Fame: As previously noted, Eskew is the South Carolinian Republican who helped Karl Rove with those delightful smears against John McCain in 2000. You remember those, the ones where everyone accused McCain of having a black baby? Well McCain is apparently one to forgive and forget, since Eskew was the puppeteer behind Sarah Palin. According to ABC News, Eskew was brought onto the Straight Talk Express to "help Palin prepare for her Wednesday night acceptance speech at the GOP convention and for her stump speech as she hits the road, brief her on policy matters, and help her handle the media scrutiny a lifetime in Alaska does not necessarily prepare one for." Policy matters like race baiting!
Trademark Tucker: He didn't say it directly, but according to some pundits Eskew is the mastermind behind Palin's "pals around with terrorists" speech.

Are there any Tuckers fucking up your life? We'd really love a fifth to round out our list.

McCain Hires GOP Operative Who Helped Smear Him in South Carolina in 2000 [ABC News]
Palin, Alone Aboard the Bus [GQ]
Dirty Tricks, South Carolina and John McCain [The Nation]

Related: McCain Spokesman Told Off On All Networks [Gawker]
Field Guide: Tucker Max [Gawker]

Earlier: Jessicas Are All Pretty Bitches

Barack Obama [Daily Show]

Here's the news: Barack Obama will be on the Daily Show tomorrow night!! According to the Comedy Central website, "We just got word that the studio is in full lock down mode. After all, Jon barely escaped his previous interview with this tax-and-spend terrorist of the center-left alive." Wheee!

Campbell Brown [The Daily Show]
Barack Obama To Appear On The Daily Show Wednesday

Earlier: Campbell Brown Turns McCain's Accusation Of Sexism On Its Head

Related: CNN, John McCain's Camp At Odds Following Confrontational Campbell Brown Interview [LAT]

Pfriend or Pfoe? [The Daily Show]

[New York, October 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• So you know how Gerard Butler kicked a paparazzi's ass yesterday? He was definitely provoked. After Gerard allegedly got out of the limo and punched the dude in the face, the photog continued following Butler for more than an hour before going to the hospital. Plus, he called a lawyer before calling the cops. [TMZ]
• Oooh! Anna Wintour has a crush on Gerard Butler! Get in line, lady. Or put him on the cover of Vogue! [Page Six]
• Did you notice how Brad and Angelina stopped in New Orleans before heading back to France? Totally on purpose! An insider says: "Brad wanted to check on the progress of the houses being built in the Ninth Ward." And someone else says: "With just a handful of weeks before the presidential election, they wanted to subtly remind everyone that New Orleans is still in recovery mode." [E!]
• Um, Angelina is in a new glossy version of The Bible. [Drudge Retort]

• Britney's lawyer would not take a plea deal for her driving-without-a-license case. He wants a $10 fine. "We don't want a misdemeanor," he says. "This should be an infraction. No probation." So! There will be a trial on October 15. [E!]
• As for Jamie Lynn, as previously reported, even though the Enquirer says she is knocked up again, other sources say she is not pregnant. Phew. [Perez Hilton, TMZ]
• Oh yeah, and what's up with OK! saying that Jamie Lynn's baby daddy Casey never cheated on JLS, when In Touch had an exclusive interview with the other woman? Both mags stand by their stories. [MSNBC]
• Zac Efron was attacked by a a middle-aged man thought to be a deranged fan in London. The dude ran up to Zac and girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens and tried to grab Zac's hair. Apparently he wouldn't let go of the teen heartthrob and had to be tackled by a bodyguard. [Mirror
• Michael Phelps went to a party where ladies surrounded him and screamed, "Fish man! Fish man!" [Page Six]
• Wait, what's this? Michael Phelps has a girlfriend? Miss California runner-up Nicole Johnson? [Rush & Molloy]
• Nicole Richie and little Harlow are on the cover of People this week! [People]
• Diddy is pissed that John McCain called Barack Obama "that one." [Radar]
• On October 14, there will be a benefit concert thrown by DJ AM's friends — with performances from celebrity DJs, including Mark Ronson, Steve Aoki, Danny Masterson and Mixmaster Mike. Proceeds will go to the memorial funds established for crash victims. [People]
• Former America's Next Top Model competitors will now be on Modelville, a reality show within Tyra's talk show. Very meta. [E!]
• Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift have broken up. You know who they are, right? [Us Magazine]
• Hugh Hefner talks about his split with Holly Madison: "If Holly says it's over, I guess it's over. She's still here in the house. Until a few days ago, we were still sharing the same bed." He also says: "It's now apparent there will be some new faces in my personal life and on the show. There's been moments that I've been down in the dumps about all this… [But] there are girls lined up outside the front gate. At my age, that's hard to believe, but it seems to be true." He added: "It's a big house. And I'm not going to live alone. I'm definitely not going to live alone." [AP]
• Nikki Blonsky says that airport brawl with ANTM's Bianca left her "completely destroyed" and she lives "every day in pain." She and her father face assault charges. [People]
• Audrina was on Ellen's show and talked all about LC and Justin Bobby! Lauren and Justin flirted in the past; Audrina has tried to call LC but LC hangs up on her; and Audrina hasn't spoken to Justin Bobby. So basically nothing was confirmed. [Perez Hilton]
• Courteney Cox looks like a dazed zombie on the cover of the new Marie Claire. [ONTD]
• Michael Jackson took his kids to a comic book store in L.A. and they wore masks, prompting this paper to print the headline: "It's ALWAYS Halloween In Michael Jackson's Family." But the unmasked pix are cute! Blanket is getting so big. Here's a question: Do you really think MJ is the father of those kids? [The Sun]
• Oprah is leading an Obama fund-raising weekend in Chicago. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Jason Priestley returning to 90210? Ah, to direct. Hmm. [People]
• Ricky Gervais has built a gym at his New York apartment — because he is too embarrassed to work out in public. [The Sun
• Katy Perry's mom dated Jimi Hendrix? And her dad was an LSD dealer, good friends with Timothy Leary? [The Sun]
• Hannah Montana is hazardous to your health: Some jewelry with the Disney star on it was found to have high levels of lead. [Perez Hilton]
• Lil' Kim is being sued for $2.5 million by a recording company, which says the rapper hasn't delivered all the recordings their contract requires. [USA Today]
• Rachael Ray wants to open a burger joint in New York. "I'm going for a '60s back-in-the-day Rat Pack-y kind of hangout, and I want the bar to be really central [and] the burgers to become a very social thing. I want people to come to the bar to see beautiful proper martinis being made and to enjoy some sliders." So. Hungry. [Gothamist]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver didn't want to kiss girls at his book signings for fear of communicable disease: I said, 'Look, you know, I'm very loyal to my wife and if I have to keep kissing these birds, right, it's only a numbers game before I get herpes. And once you've got it ... it never goes. And I'll be growing flapjack on me lip.'" [Daily Star]
• Paul McCartney is calling on his fans to boycott McDonald's after finding out his picture is in a Mickey Ds in Liverpool. He's been a vegetarian for decades. [People]
• American Idolcontestant Kelli Pickler battled a year-long depression and anti-depressants made her "crazy." [People]
• LOL: Boogie Nights, the musical. [The Star]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Katie Price, the "glamour model" known as Jordan, and her husband Peter Andre are moving to Hollywood in January. They have three kids: Harvey, 6, who is blind; Junior Savva Andreas Andre, 3, and one year old Princess Tiáamii Crystal Esther Andre. [Perez Hilton]
• Ozzy Osbourne's show on Fox will be "half scripted," so the Writers Guild of America is issuing a warning to writers about that. [NY Times]
• Following Peter Cook's interview with Barbara Walters, Christie Brinkley says: "It is a measure of [his] character that he has breached the confidentiality agreement that is in the divorce settlement and has sought to present this distorted one-side view of his marriage." Word. [ABC News]
• Here's a picture from Howard Stern's wedding, if you care. [People]
• Who shot the sheriff? Eric Clapton is auctioning 13 of his shotguns. [The Sun]
• Anna Deveare Smith will premiere a new solo piece in November, inspired by Arizona State University's law school, named for retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor - the first U.S. law school to be named for a woman. [Yahoo News]
• "All men have thought about her at least once in their lives. The great thing about Judi Dench is that she's the matriarch of British film. She has an innate power about her ... Bond needs a woman like M to contain his nonsense and say, 'Look, 007, you've been an idiot!' But they won't sleep together. Not unless the cupboard gets very bare in terms of storylines." — Daniel Craig. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "[The Beatles] were young capitalists who, far from developing a youth culture, were exploiting youth culture by promoting fan worship, mindless screaming and nothing more than a passive teenage consumer." — Historian David Fowler. [Guardian]
• "Last night i went to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and it was so cute! I think the entire cast is so much fun to watch, and the storyline is great. I'm a big fan of Kat Dennings and Michael Cera. It would be nice to give them some support! Seeing movies like this is such a good feeling. It also shows you how important movies are in life – you can be in a horrible mood, and most of the time a movie that makes you laugh and enjoy life can change your mood by the time you walk out of the theatre." — Lindsay Lohan. [People]
• "Most heterosexual men do not find Renée Zellweger attractive. It’s true. Nice girl, and I have met Renée. She is the kind of girl who bakes really good muffins, you go out to dinner with her, but that’s it." — Denis Leary. [Vanity Fair]
• "What Jay and I have is real. It's not about interviews or getting the right photo op. It's real." — Beyoncé, sorta talking about her wedding in Essence. [ People]
• "But if you, out of nowhere, are going to grab a woman out of the woods and make her your vice presidential candidate, what can I do? [Sarah Palin] is like Jodie Foster in the movie Nell. They just found her, and she was speaking her own special language. Have you noticed how [Palin's] rallies have begun to take on the characteristics of the last days of the Weimar Republic? In Florida, she asked 'Who is Barack Obama?' Hey, lady, we just met YOU five fucking weeks ago." — Jon Stewart. [Rush & Molloy]

• After last night's fellatio-esque interview of John McCain, reporters ask Jon Stewart if he's a real journalist and if he should've tried harder to ask a real question. No, and yes. [Comedy Central, Time, Rolling Stone]
  
• No one really cares, though, because Hillary might not actually stay in the race until August. [NY Times]
  
• And there is one economist who agrees with her gas tax plan, but only because this example of blatant electoral pandering is the method of blatant electoral pandering likely to do the least harm of all the harmful ways to blatantly pander to the electorate. [NY Times]
  
• Oh, and some New York Congressman got his mistress pregnant three years ago and has a secret love child and is a drunk driver. Even married Republicans lose when it comes to abstinence-only education. [NY Times]

• That pedophile Interpol was searching for? He was a store Santa from Jersey and found fucking little kids "euphoric." Gross. [Associated Press]
• And some people still buy that shit about Obama being a Muslim. [Wired]
• And some dude used to drug and rape women at his office parties, but the law firm he worked at didn't sack him for it or warn anyone even after 2 women got drugged and reported it. Dudes, don't lawyers know not to fuck with lawyers? [Boston Globe]
• Mark Penn is so dumb that he didn't know about proportional representation in the primaries when Hillary hired him, but she'll still have to pay him the $10 million or so she owes him. Asshole. [HuffPo]
• And, for my girl/fellow alum SarahMC, check out the disaster porn of a mega car crash in Allston right by the Shaws on Comm Ave. [Boston Globe]
• Speaking of disasters, Burma is still fucked. [NY Times]
• And the Prime Minister of Israel has likely been taking bribes from foreigners. [Washington Times]
• God I need a fucking drink.

• Authorities have beef with Shia: A warrant has been issued for the arrest of Mr. LaBeouf — he got a ticket in February for unlawful smoking and never showed up in court. Whoops! [TMZ]
  
• Those Kristin Davis photos? Real! Snapped in 1992 by an ex-boyfriend. [TMZ]
  
• Ethan Hawke: Not over Uma? He recently sang a song at the 24-Hour Plays event with lyrics like "My wife hates me," and "My wife is a big fat beast." WTF. [New York Magazine]
  
• Oh, no. A feud has broken out in Heath Ledger's family regarding his estate. Heath's uncles are not happy that Heath's father, Kim, is in charge of the money — since when Heath's grandfather died 15 years ago, Kim was removed as executor of the estate after mishandling and mismanaging the assets. Messy, and sad. [People]
  
• Does Amy Winehouse really have impetigo? It could also be MRSA! A doc who doesn't treat Amy says she "should not be coming into close contact with other people while she has open sores," blerg. [TMZ]

• Um, Bryan Adams wrote a song about Amy Winehouse. The lyrics to "Flower Grown Wild" go thusly: "Amid the stars and the bars, the pimps and pills... The picture faded and the day was done, went home to nothin' but a loaded gun... She may look like a lady, but she's a flower grown wild... Nobody saw the tears in your silk and lace, the scarred little kid behind your face." [Mirror]
• As previously reported, Halle Berry has named her daughter Nahla Ariela Aubry. Nahla means "honeybee" in Arabic, sez a professor (yesterday we heard it meant "drink of water"). Possible schoolyard taunts: Nuh-uh, nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-I-can't-hear-you. [People]
• Tina Fey insinuates that Jon Stewart prompts applause with a sign. "My friend Seth Meyers coined the term 'clapter,' which is when you do a political joke and people go, 'Woo-hoo.' It means they sort of approve but didn't really like it that much. You hear a lot of that on [whispers] The Daily Show.'" [Page Six]
• Sopranos star and singer Dominic Chianese wants to do a duet with Madonna? Bada bing. [Page Six]
• Even though Heather Mills got a hefty divorce settlement, she's looking to sell her story — and some photos and tape recordings — for $2 million. Any takers? [Page Six]
• Director Anthony Minghella, who died yesterday, praised Jill Scoott in the new issue of Vogue. Minghella directed Scott in upcoming flick The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency and said: "She is extremely stellar. I think she can be a real star." [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan refused to walk the red carpet of an event until organizers took down a backdrop with Paris Hilton's name on it. Plus: The star "pitched a hissy fit" on the set of a Visa commercial because someone served her a burrito. "She doesn't eat on shoots," he rep says. Eyeroll. [Rush & Molloy]
• Also acting like a diva: Kim Kardashian, who wouldn't pose for photos at a NYC club until she received $5,000. Effing hell. [Rush & Molloy]
• Beyoncé didn't greet fans on the set of Cadillac Records, the Etta James movie, because it was raining and she had to preserve her hairdo. Priorities! [Rush & Molloy]
• "I'm a big Obama supporter." — Ryan Phillippe. [Rush & Molloy]
• Topless pictures of Audrina from The Hills! "I took these photos years ago when I was just out of high school and beginning to model. I was young and very trusting of others and I didn't know to protect myself," she says. So she dressed up like a naughty schoolgirl... from the waist down. [TMZ]
• Kirstie Alley has signed a deal with Oprah's production company to develop TV projects. Cheers! [People]
• In court Tuesday, Howard K. Stern denied giving Daniel Smith, Anna Nicole's son, drugs. He also claimed to be shocked drugs were found in Daniel's system: "He wasn't that kind of kid." [E!]
• Minnie Driver wants to have a water birth at home in Malibu. [Mirror]
• Lily Allen has moved in with a new man! The guy is a producer named Robertson Furze and Lily seems to be happy so good for them. [The Sun]
• Jamie Spears' plan to save Britney's life is obviously about getting her finances in order. "If Britney never goes back to work, there is no reason she and her kids shouldn't be able to live a very comfortable life with the kind of money she has in the bank," says a source. But! She doesn't have as much as people think! "Those figures of $100 million or more were so off the mark," an insider says. It's more like $40 mil, sigh. [MSNBC]
• Simon Cowell paid off the mortgage for the family of a little girl with cancer. "I'm her guardian angel," Simon said. It's easy to snark on the stoopid stuff but when good things happen, what are you supposed to say? [Mirror]
• William Baldwin's wife, Chynna Phillips, puts her underwear on his head when they have sex so she knows where they are when they're done. Romantic! And practical. [The Sun]

Earlier: "Live" From New York: It's Hillary Clinton On Tyra

MOE: Soooooo
MEGAN: Is it grosser, do you think, to watch Gene Simmons bone a bimbo or to think about John McCain bumping uglies with a lobbyist?
  Because, really, for me that is the question of the day.
MOE: My question is, is this what he was talking about when Obama said that thing about how John McCain was a good man who had kept company with the WRONG PEOPLE? Is this Huckabee's "miracle"? Is Vicki Iseman the MOTHER OF MCCAIN'S ILLEGITIMATE BLACK CHILD?
It was easier for me knowing that it was like eight years ago or something. I can't say why that was easier, it just was.
 MEGAN: If Vicki Iseman is the mother of McCain's dirty little secret, I may have to call my shit closed for business for a couple of months until that image is banished from my mind.
Also, I love how his staffers told her to fuck off, and she considered to tell everyone what great ties she had to his office.
Typical bullshit consulting company lobbyist.
McCain's giving a news conference about it later this morning.
 MOE: O yay! Didn't we look up Iseman's name before?
Or didn't we. I forget December.
 MEGAN: Please let him say "I did not have sexual relations with this women."
Please.
  Pretty please.
  
I've been a really, really good girl this year. Sort of.
Well, I looked into it in December, but didn't realize it was a 10 year old story, so I didn't see her picture until then, but, whoo-boy did I see it several times in the Wonkette tips line after that.
Also, the pic the news is using of her in the formal dress makes her totally resemble Cindy McCain more than the profile on her company's website.
MOE: No, you know where she resembles Cindy MCain is this photo with Bush
MEGAN: You know you've trolled the minor corners of the internet too many times when you've seen that story more than once.
MOE: But yeah, her haircut in that pic is soooooo Cindy '00
MEGAN: Totally! Also, expert judgement is required... is she wearing a belly chain?
Press conference time! Cindy's by his side.

MOE: No! But wow, she looks pretty good. Um, soooo John Weaver went on the record with the Post saying HE was the one who told Vicki to "go away."
He also emailed the Times.
 MEGAN: Yeah, I saw that. Also, McCain says he's proud of his service, and he didn't do any favors for any lobbyists. He's "disappointed" by the New York Times piece
  He just characterized their relationship as "friends" for Washington.
MOE: Is he the source of this whole thing? Not for shoddy payment I guess!
 
MEGAN: Which means you know virtually nothing about one another outside of work and don't see each other outside of work functions like receptions and stuff.
MOE: He's all squinty.
Hahahaha he's smirking!
 
MEGAN: Those bad spots keep going on and off.
Cindy's suit is cute.
 MOE: I know!
I HATE her outfits.
But this one is nice
MEGAN: Also, I'd like my eyebrows to look like hers. I have shitty eyebrows.
MOE: So John Weaver is indeed the same strategist who approached Tom Daschle about how his boss might leave his party. 
MEGAN: Also, can you imagine telling your boss to stop boning someone?

MEGAN: I call shenanigans on that part of the story.
MOE: Here's another thing: is this why Mark McKinnon said he'd quit the McCain campaign if it meant running against Obama? Because if there's one sleazy tactic Team Clinton can't really employ effectively, it's the whole "HA HA HA HE'S SUCH A HORNY OLD GOAT HIS ADVISERS NEEDED TO SHOO OFF THAT TELECOM LOBBYIST" ...Which sucks and is a double standard since Hillary didn't cheat, but whatevs.
  
Well, that was over fast!
It's almost like he wanted to get out of there!
MEGAN: That spotlight stage right was annoying.
 
MOE: Here's another question: does it make it better that she looks soooooooo much like Cindy?
  
Like at that age, he might have just confused the two?
 
MEGAN: I have been wondering that all night, actually. The resemblance is a little freaky.
I dunno, I guess if my husband was going to cheat I would like to think it would be for something he wasn't getting at home (besides the sex, which he would most certainly be getting at home).
On the other hand, would that make me more insecure? Like, would he always be boning a younger version of me?
MOE: Well Vicky is not that much younger than Cindy. And McCain just said that he never talked to John Weaver about his relationship w. Vicky. (Is that true or do you make sure not to have that conversation if you suspect something is going on?)
MEGAN: I am just saying, I cannot imagine asking my boss, a Senator, if he is boning some chick and to stop it. Perhaps this is why I don't work on the Hill.
 
MOE: Because the whole story is so weird, it's just kinda hard to buy. She looks too much like Cindy, and she sounds annoying and clingy. Oh no is that woman hating of me?
MEGAN: But, for my part, when I "turned" up at an event at a Congressman's invite (when I was a lobbyist) not realizing said Member's predelictions, his staff didn't say a word to me, or to him... they just made sure I was seated as far away from him as possible and that he didn't have time to talk to me.
But, yes, I mean, everything the NYT is reporting is totally how shit works in DC. If you're trying to build a relationship with an office, you show up at every event you can, you make nice, etc. Maybe she had a crush, maybe they were boning, but on the surface the behavior, while slightly annoying, isn't outside the norm. Dudes who work for firms like that (mostly earmarks) also fixate on a Member because you only really need one.
But she's a woman, so obviously there was something else going on (and maybe there was), because, of course, she couldn't just be trying to do her job.
  (I might be projecting here, but, still).
MOE: And the fact that the Wash Post had a story ready as soon as the NYT put its own story on the web is also weird. Like there MIGHT have been something going on, but...eh...1999?
MEGAN: Well, everyone was working on it as soon as it got linked to Drudge in December, and, as I said, I got a bunch of tips that it was her once I wrote my piece, so the rumors on the Hill, they wuz a-flying.
Is it funny that CNN is currently running a commercial for the NYT?
MOE: They run that fucking commercial every fucking second. Here's a question: do you think there was any encouragement at all from the Obama campaign to run this story? A few days ago Gail Collins wrote that Barack Obama INSISTS on referring to McCain as a "military hero, in tones that suggest the conflict in question was the Spanish Civil War." Things are icy between them. But are they truly that icy or does McCain just not talk to rookies? Further, isn't it nice to have something to talk about that ISN'T Michelle Obama's patriotism?
MEGAN: See, given that this story was around in December, I'm guessing it was initially a right-wing hit job
 MOE: Oh yeah and that George Will column you sent me points out that "only" 12 of today's senators have been elected to no other office. Only? Jesus Christ. It's the fucking house of lords.
Oh it was DEFINITELY initially a right wing hit job.
MEGAN: I was laughing at that, like, it sort of possibly puts Hillary in good company.
MOE: I bet the Romney campaign flung it around. I bet that's one of the reasons (aside from sheer spite of course!) McCain so hated Romney.
 
MEGAN: God knows Giuliani didn't, what with pot, kettle, dark colors, etc
but i don't see as how either Obama or Clinton would've been able to get the NYT enough corroborating evidence in the meantime to allow them to feel safe publishing it
MOE: Nah I don't see the Obama campaign as having any corroborating evidence, and why would Clinton even bother.
But what I think is that here we go. It's Obama-McCain and from here on out it's going to be an Obama-McCain news cycle.
MEGAN: Next up: Barry's crack-smoking go-to guy for blow jobs.
MOE: Yay! I'm still fixated on this John Weaver thing though. Clearly firing him back in September looks like it was a good move for the McCain campaign. But shit, how has the campaign really moved since then? I thought McCain's rise was mainly a factor of "Well that Giuliani thing didn't work, and that Law & Order guy was better on TV...and this Romney guy is a dweeb..." and then "oh wait look the news in Iraq is actually not getting worse!"
MEGAN: Well, and McCain's got Joe-mentum!
  I mean, I think Weaver was ousted as part of the whole "we don't have any money for anyone anymore" thing
But, in retrospect, probably a good decision.
MOE: Or not!?
MEGAN: I don't know, he might've just been another anonymous source anyway.
Or, he might've been not great at his job.
MOE: Yeah blargh. You know what? The endless cummer scandals totally ruined the fun of heterosex scandals.
Did you catch Jon Stewart on Larry King?
MEGAN: No, sadly! It was, um, the reunion episode of Project Runway.
They ran outtakes of Michael Kors losing his shit during the WWE challenge
Totally worth it.
MOE: Oh my god he was wonderful.
But so was JS.
 
MEGAN: I know! I totally meant to watch it, too, and then just spaced.

• Maybe no.. But he would have, if loyal advisers had not protected him from himself! Loyal advisers who are now telling the Times all about it? (Loyal advisers who wish he had left the GOP? Seems poss!) Vicki Iseman. A youthful-looking 40. Pretty! Deny deny deny. Gary Hart was his groomsman, you know! The "miracle" Huckabee's been waiting for? [NYT]
  
• Let's be clear, Bill O'Reilly doesn't want to "lynch" Michelle Obama. Not until he has enough "evidence." He will "track it down." [Media Matters]
  
• Tucker Carlson just said he thinks she's got a "chip on her shoulder." Not that there's anythign wrong with that.
  
• All she was talking about was the record turnout! [CBS News]
  
• And let's go back to the chip thing for a sec. As Chris Matthews so helpfully pointed out this morning, slavery was in the Constitution. She grew up bound and determined to succeed, flung herself into an Ivy League bastion of entrenched privilege and classism and survived. Better than can be said for some of us but whatevs. [WSJ]

• So...stats on Cindy McCain: only child, affluent, high school cheerleader, rodeo queen, Theta at USC, met John at a military reception when he was still married. Married him, several miscarriages, three kids, volunteer work in disaster areas, SCANDALE...stress stress ... can't ... find ... receipts...PILLHEAD!...stealing pills from volunteer work. Adopts Bangladeshi child, two kids join military, innocuous. Gratuitously cold and snippy re Michelle! (Also gratuitously blonde; neither here nor there.) [Wikipedia]
• Ann Coulter's credit score = patriotic? [Page Six]
• Hillary is actually better off for losing nine states in a row because now all the indecisive ladies of Texas and Ohio will feel sorry for her and vote for her. [Slate]
• Also: Hillary hunts, is a better shot than you know whose eighth cousin! [NY Daily News]
• Another union full of Birkenstock wearing trust fund thespians goes endorses Obama. [AP]
• Jesse Jackson doesn't necessarily want Hillary to quit, he just wants her entire campaign staff to quit. [Politico]
• I want to have his babies of the day: Jon Stewart is on Larry King. (Actually Jon was my first-ever celeb crush, when I was 13 or 14 and he was in Seventeen promoting "You Wrote It, You Watch It." At the time I was 5'4 so I thought he actually seemed tall enough. Le sigh.)

• Will Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson tie the knot? ScarJo was seen at the Monique Lhuillier boutique in L.A. looking at wedding dresses. Hey, isn't she engaged to Barack Obama? [Page Six]
  
• Amy Winehouse won five Grammys last night, including record of the year, song of the year and best new artist. Woo hoo! [People]
  
• Keith Richards on Amy Winehouse: "She should get her act together." Hello, pot? This is kettle... [Reuters]
  
• Meanwhile, Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, told Amy he attempted to hang himself in his jail cell — but it never happened. Says a source, "He wants to pile on the guilt so she can't leave him. He's utterly controlling, even when behind bars." [The Sun]

• Writers and producers have reached an agreement which should end the writers' strike by next week; expect the Oscars to move forward! With jokes penned by Jon Stewart! [People]
• Sam Lutfi, who still has not received a restraining order filed by Britney's father — because the servers can never find him — was seen in the VIP lounge at L.A. club Area where Paris Hilton was celebrating her birthday. WTF. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan reportedly pointed to Paris Hilton at a pre-Grammy bash and said: "What the hell is that bitch doing here? I didn't know she was on the list." Paris replied, "Fuck off you bitch." OMG catfight! [Mirror]
• Rob Lowe is writing an "anecdotal, good-natured memoir." 1988 sex tape details? Anyone? [Crain's]
• Michelle Williams and other mourners at Heath Ledger's funeral walked into the ocean for a quick plunge as a way of saying goodbye to Heath. [People]
• Tim Burton and his ex, Lisa Marie, are going to court: She claims there was a conspiracy against her getting her fair share of his assets after they broke up. Burton dumped Marie for Helena Bonham Carter while they were shooting Planet Of The Apes. Messy business. [E!]
• Justin Chambers, who checked in and out of the psych ward at UCLA Medical Center, is reportedly doing "just fine." The Grey's star suffers from a sleeping disorder and entered the hospital because he was exhausted. [People]
• Britney's business manager is being fired and her divorce attorney has asked the court permission to drop her as a client. Hopefully this stuff will get untangled soon. [People]
• Cameron Diaz and Ellen Pompeo are interested in the same $5.5 million NYC apartment, boofuckinghoo. [Page Six]
• David Beckham attended a pre-Grammy party in Hollywood, where he kissed a fan who proceeded to faint. Bex "just said 'Get her some water. She'll be OK.'" Guess it happens all the time. [People]
• The Paul McCartney/Heather Mills divorce payout could break the UK record of £48 million. Which would buy quite a few prosthetic legs. [Guardian]
• Porn star Michael Lucas posed for pictures with Victoria Beckham and reports that Posh's complexion is terrible. "Her skin is yellow with big pores," he says. "Each pore you could fit a big [piece of] caviar in." [The Cut]
• The Information Minister of Malawi says Madonna has done so much for the country she should not be denied rights to be a parent to her son David Banda — or "many more Malawian children." [Reuters]
• R.I.P. Roy Scheider, star of Jaws and All That Jazz. [UPI]

[New York, November 27. Image via Bauer-Griffin]