Jezebel 
Enter your username and password.
New York, 7:39 AM
Sun Nov 8
22 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jezebel.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
Email | Twitter
Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
Email | Twitter
Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
Email | Twitter
Contributing Editors:
Anna North
Email | Twitter
Sadie Stein
Email | Twitter
Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
Email | Twitter
Contributors:
Jenna Sauers
Email
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Lizzie Skurnick
Email
Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
11/03/09
11/03/09
I'm not getting a lot of work done, but I am finding them more tolerable. #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
I can't stand Jon Gosselin and I know that and the reason I'm so interested in this story is because of my own experience. Con artists are great at making themselves look like angels while making others look like the bad guy. There are still people who think my ex is the sweetest person, while others know what a crazy douche he is. I also have the feeling that Kate had no idea exactly how immature Jon was (or still is) before they married. I remember thinking my ex had tricked me into marrying him by acting like a somewhat normal human being while we were dating, because he sure as hell dropped the act later.
End rant. #kateherstory
11/03/09
He also says many times that he wasn't ready to have kids, but Kate wanted it so badly, he gave in. Again, Kate's reaction is something like, "I wasn't waiting until he was ready!"
I'm not saying any of this as a reflection on your situation at all, but I think with J&K, there were a lot of red flags, both for Kate and for Jon. #kateherstory
11/03/09
@Crabby Cakes: I didn't know that about them. I knew two weeks into my marriage that I had made a mistake. Looking back, there were red flags that I either didn't notice or chose to ignore, but it was nothing like after the ceremony when the shit hit the proverbial fan. Ugh. I cringe just thinking about it. There definitely were a lot of differences from J&K, it just reminds me a lot of what happened to me. #kateherstory
11/03/09
From the clips of J&K I've seen, Jon struck me as one of the mentally absent dads I've encountered in my days. These guys will be sitting in the living room while one of their children is crying and the other is parked next to Dad on the sofa chewing on a firecracker with a leaking diaper. Never does Dad's attention deviate from the soccer game or Gears of War 2 or whatever. When Mom comes in to investigate and get reasonably perturbed, Dad will be like, "Why are you raising your voice? I wasn't doing anything."
The problem, of course, is the not-doing-anything. There are some men who are incapable, for whatever reason, of hearing women unless the women are infuriated. They will ignore ten soft-pedaled suggestions that they accomplish something but will hear the eleventh one only when it's delivered at 140 decibels. Wives eventually learn to skip the preliminaries and go straight to severity. Their husbands have trained them to do so. No sane person continues using an ineffective technique.
After the separation, Jon bought a two-seater convertible and rented a two-bedroom apartment for himself in New York City. That says volumes about how much hands-on parenting he does of his own volition.
And to claim now that well, he never wanted all these children anyway is infantile blame-shifting. Reminds me of Adam in the Garden of Eden: "The woman tempted me, and I did eat." Spare me. No one force-fed Adam and Kate didn't steal Jon's sperm while he slept. It's beyond me how anyone can defend him at this point. You don't have to adore Kate to acknowledge that Jon is insufferably irresponsible. #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
And I, for one, have consistently found both John and Kate to be odious people and terrible parents. No shifting perceptions here. #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
Wow. RHONJ and Kate Gosselin. My life is sad. #kateherstory
11/03/09
That being said, did I want to say it? No. Is it true? Yes. Do I think you think I sound like an idiot? Of course.
#kateherstory
11/03/09
(kidding! Don't think I'm a crazy) #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
Wow, I've put way to much thought into something that bugs me so much! #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
But what do I know, right? I'm only repeating gossip from GWOP. I am a horrible person. #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
[gosselinswithoutpity.blogspot.com]
And here is Jodi's sister's blog (Jodi is married to Kate's brother)
[truthbreedshatred.blogspot.com] #kateherstory
11/03/09
This is me praying that something big happens in the near future that will wipe the importance of these people away. Maybe Brad and Angie will adopt a whole country or OctoMom will begin to date Micheal Lohan (though that wouldn't be a better news story). #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
You know, it's impossible to discuss this openly because those are real children who deserve to feel wanted, but it seems obvious to me that having 6 kids at 26 or 27 or whatever (when you already have 2), before you have any sort of career or anything that will help support a family of 10, is just fucking moronic. Or at least, if you're going to do that, don't later complain that you HAVE to pursue a career in television because you have no other way of making enough money to support your family.
It really makes it seem like they had the kids for the attention, and now need the attention to raise the kids. It's very Octomom and even if Kate is more articulate and seems more sympathetic than Octomom, there really doesn't seem to be a difference.
People. Kids are not mealtickets. Just the opposite. Come on. #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
what i get from her comments is that she couldn't go back to having a regular job because jon isn't there and isn't helping her--working a full time job out of the house with 6 five-year-olds is unreasonable--(the daycare bills alone would negate having a job at all). it sounds more like there isn't really a good alternative, because she is currently struggling with her shitty ex who steals money, and feeding 8 kids. #kateherstory
11/03/09
I think people should make their own choices and I think it's great that Kate stuck to her guns regarding what she believes in. But it's disingenuous to act as though all of this just happened to them. They made choices. And it's also disingenuous for them to so quickly dismiss questions about how all the media attention might negatively affect their kids by saying the media attention is necessary for their kids future (college funds, etc.). It raises the obvious question of what they would have done if they hadn't gotten a television show. I'm not saying they're the devil, but they made some really shitty choices and now act as though they had no choice. They had a choice, now they live with it. They whine too much. #kateherstory
11/03/09
--applause!!! #kateherstory
11/03/09
And there's a difference between supporting her right to reproductive choice and endorsing the specific decisions she makes with those rights. I agree that all women should have control of their fertility. I also think it's reasonable to question the wisdom of KG and Octomom producing litters of children at tremendous risk to themselves and the babies. Add in the matter of how to support them all and the soundness of their choices becomes even more suspect. I see nothing heroic or admirable in this story.
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
It's not that they were childless. They already had not just one, but 2 girls to care for. Seems to me they took a big risk on a second pregnancy without really thinking about (miraculous) consequences.
(And don't get me started on that argument that "God GAVE us these 8 kids". All these were artifcial procedures. Maybe God didn't want them to have any kids in the first place, and go for adoption. Like I said, if she is going to use one argument, she has to look at its opposite and consequences as well) #kateherstory
11/03/09
It's a personal decision. I happen to know someone fairly close to me who conceived triplets via IVF. She loves her kids dearly, but it has placed an enormous strain on their finances, marriage, and careers. As a result, for me personally, I would indeed need to be prepared for triplets before doing IUI. Because the risk is higher, and the consequences are very real.
So when you say that someone undergoing fertility treatments shouldn't be prepared for the possibility of multiple births, this sounds irresponsible to me. The risk exists. No, it's not a likelihood, but it is a very real possibility.
But ok, not everyone really thinks of it as that likely (even though it is definitely not uncommon). But if you have IUI, you have experienced multiple conception in the past (as the Gosselin's did with their twins), AND you have a moral/ethical opposition to selective termination, I have a really hard time listening to you complain about how impossible it is to support your kids via traditional actual jobs.
In other words, I would be wary about making the Gosselins the poster kids for IUI. I agree it's misunderstood at times. But it is a somewhat risky decision that many couples make. If anyone is going to represent the importance of doing it responsibly, it shouldn't be John and Kate. They aren't heroes. #kateherstory
11/03/09
Also, (from what I've been told) the reduction is done by doing an ultrasound and injecting saline into the nearest fetus. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to see a number of beating hearts and then...one stops. The thought of that makes my palms sweat with terror, and I have zero desire to have a litter.
It's complex. #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
I personally think this is hypocritical logic, because if you're supposed to accept what god wants to give you by way of children then fertility treatments don't really fit in.
Of course they do not have to pass my standard of acceptability, but I can still think it's ridiculous #kateherstory
11/03/09
emfish said it better: "So when you say that someone undergoing fertility treatments shouldn't be prepared for the possibility of multiple births, this sounds irresponsible to me. The risk exists. No, it's not a likelihood, but it is a very real possibility."
Hearing Kate say, "oh we have 8 kids and the only way we could support them was by having the TV show" makes me mad. It doesn't seem to me a very responsible way to cope with the consequences of her rightful reproductive choice. #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
Umm I'm shocked no one has broughten this up, but I remember Kate and Jon talking about how they spent alot of money trying to conceive there first two kids, and spent a lot of money trying to conceive the second time.
How did they have the money in the first place? Not to mention the second time around they had two small children to support.
I always had a theory that Kate and Jon's parents payed for the treatment, because they couldn't afford it. And when the families found out that they were having mulitplies they tried to get them to reduce because they knew that they couldn't help with the cost, nor could Kate and Jon.
Oh and Kate please stop doing interviews. If I see your face again on my tv I'm ripping out the cord and throwing the tv out the window. #kateherstory
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
I certainly DO NOT advocate stripping women of their reproductive rights. KG had the right to take that risk and I would fight like hell to help her keep it if anyone suggested legislating against it. But I still think she made a really stupid and incredibly selfish decision. #kateherstory
11/06/09
11/03/09
What is this notion that no one's personality or beliefs or relationships change over time? People grow up and grow old and *gasp* they change. #kateherstory