Gwen Ifill [The Daily Show with Jon Stewart]

The Daily Show has historically gotten a lot of mileage out of Fox & Friends' Gretchen Carlson's "troubled mom" persona, which basically involves wrinkling her nose and innocently wondering what this Obama fellow is up to with our country.

Stewart employs Carlson's own hard-hitting research tactics (Google!) to learn that she may not be as simple and hair-twirling as she lets on. Dumbing yourself down is bad enough when it's to work an audience into a populist frenzy. But disingenuously playing into gendered soccer mom, gee whiz cliches? Evil brilliance.

Earlier Fox News Host Screens Next Generation Of Miss Americas

Though women now comprise a majority of their viewership, late night remains stacked with men. Here's a breakdown based on Carter's piece:

"The Jay Leno Show": Zero.
"Late Show with David Letterman": Zero.
"The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien": Zero.
"The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson": One, apparently (his sister).
"Jimmy Kimmel Live!": One.
"The Colbert Report": One.
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart": Two female writers just added.
"Late Night with Jimmy Fallon:" Three out of "about a dozen."

So congratulations, Jimmy Fallon, on being the tallest dwarf! Of course, there is one break from this monotony, and it might not be a coincidence that the host is female!

"Chelsea Lately with Chelsea Handler": Five out of ten.

Which brings us to another point made in the piece: even if writers' rooms were full of women, nine times out of ten they'd still be writing for a male voice:

"When you're writing for late night, you're writing through one person's prism, and that person at the shows you're looking at is always a dude," said Hallie Haglund, one of the new writers on "The Daily Show. " Allison Silverman, who has served as the only woman writer first on "The Daily Show" then on Conan O'Brien's staff, said she had no trouble assuming the voices of male hosts. But she added, "I don't think the issue of sensibility is off base. The hosts and the staffs I worked on often resembled one another. Have you seen how many tall Irish people are on Conan's staff?"

Not surprisingly, the few women that did make it onto writing staffs have coped with being odd woman out with, well, humor:

"I would walk into Lizz [Winstead]'s office, where the writers were assembled to hear the day's jokes, and would want to exercise my executive producer privileges by sending half of them home to shower," Ms. Smithberg said in an e-mail message. "I wonder if the corollary we should be examining is between body odor and humor rather than gender and humor."

There's only one way to find out: hire more women writers. (And um, smell them.)

Among Late Night Shows, Few Women in the Room [New York Times]

Related: Letterman and Me [VF]

Image via The New Yorker

[New York, October 31. Image via Pacific Coast News]

• Lindsay Lohan is in Morocco for the opening of some resort and was spotted kissing Gerard Butler at the launch party. She allegedly said:

"He's hot, he's mine! I've got no ring on my finger so I'm going to have lots of fun. This is the most romantic place in the world." Of course, since Gerard was linked to Jen A, this piece begins: "It seems there is yet more heartbreak in store for unlucky-in-love Jennifer Aniston." [Daily Mail]

• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted from Morocco: "some guy was following me, then pulled up in his car&pointed a GUN at me! The guy started laughing&pushed the trigger&it was a fake gun..I was crying..he scared me." [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay's dad Michael Lohan — who's been talking about kidnapping his daughter and doing some kind of intervention, has been threatened with imprisonment by Dina Lohan, who says: "He is hurting Lindsay. It breaks my heart. She says, 'Mommy, when is he ever going to stop?' He is also six months behind in his child support. On Monday we will file a violation order and if he doesn't pay he'll go to jail." Oh, and you know those voicemail messages Michael was going to play on TV? Dina fumes: "He's getting a cease-and-desist letter so that's not going to happen. If it's something personal about your child, you don't go public with it." Dina also says: "He is desperate and spiraling out of control." [Daily Express]
• "My father is a lunatic & doesn't even deserve such a title since he's never been around in my life other than when he'd threaten me & my family. He should be where he has always put himself after verbally abusing and physically abusing people all my life-behind bars. It's so sad to get a phone call from my baby sister just now asking, 'why is daddy doing this?' Through tears. He's crossed the lines & hurt me & my family 4 the last time." — Lindsay Lohan. [People via Lindsay's Twitter]
• Michael Lohan says he'll stop talking if Lindsay goes to rehab. "But if the lies continue and the prescription drug use doesn't stop, neither will I." He also says: "I wasn't going to let people hear Dina's drunken rants about Lindsay, and I certainly wasn't going to let people hear anything about Lindsay, but now that Dina and Lindsay continue to lie and deny their problems, and even make up stories about me, NOW you will see and hear Lindsay's calls and texts. I am NOT the liar, they are. Hopefully then, they will realize how deceptive and in denial they are and finally realize that lying and denial are part of their addictions. I am sorry I had to take this route, but I have tried and tried to help Linds and I have been lied about long enough." [Radar Online]
• Kelly Bensimon was spotted being civil at her Halloween party! "She was dancing and saying hi to everyone," a partygoer says. "A lot of people were kind of shocked at how nice she was being." Kelly was also totally buddy-buddy with former frenemy Jill Zarin, who came dressed as Poison Ivy. [Gatecrasher]
• Tonight TLC will air Kate: Her Story, in which NBC's Natalie Morales sits down with Kate Gosselin for "her most intimate interview to date." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Precious is getting Oscar buzz, but the cast and crew are being cautious. "I know nothing about that," Mariah Carey said when asked about the Academy Awards. Director Lee Daniels said: "I'm in my bubble. The minute I embrace that concept of Oscar buzz then I'm in the fetal position with the covers over my head, chain smoking with a bottle of tequila, sitting next to the phone waiting for my agent to call me. I can't go there, I don't even embrace it." [Mirror]
• "As far as the Oscar, this being my first film, I'm having the best ride of my life. I don't know what makes an Oscar-winning actress. I don't feel like Halle Berry or Meryl Streep. I just feel like Gabby." — Gabourey Sidibe. [NY Post]
• Katie Holmes has replaced Liv Tyler in an indie comedy called The Romantics and will also serve as executive producer on the flick. The plot: eight friends from college reunite for a wedding. The cast includes Anna Paquin, Josh Duhamel, Malin Akerman, Elijah Wood, Adam Brody and Jeremy Strong. [Variety]
• Even though some of her items were recently returned to her, Paris Hilton feels "very, very violated" by being burglarized by the Teen Thieves. I could write that I feel very very violated after seeing her topless sex tape pix all over the Internet but whatever. [The Sun]
• One of Lady Gaga's earliest memories is watching her mother going through her fashionable closet: "She always looked so much more pristine than all the other mothers. I have a lot of her in me." At the link, see Gaga in a pink wig and studded mask. [ONTD via Flare Magazine]
• Ewan McGregor and George Clooney are both in Men Who Stare At Goats, but it's not the first they've worked together: In 1997, Ewan guest-starred on ER as a robber who gets shot; Clooney was the surgeon who tries to save him. "I was literally unconscious," Ewan says. "He was just doing all the dialogue over my undressed body." [USA Today]
• Your moment of Zen: Click to see Jon Stewart, his wife and kids dressed up for Halloween! [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
• Blake Lively was a brunette flight attendant for Halloween; Penn Badgley was a 1970s basketball player. Michael Kors was a hippie. [Gatecrasher]
• Coco and Rihanna celebrated Halloween with an interesting skin-to-costume ratio. [The Life Files]
• The guy who was arrested for attacking Ryan Seacrest's security guard was training to be an actor and TMZ has video of one of his scenes. [TMZ]
• On December 7, Carrie Underwood's two-hour Fox variety show, Carrie Underwood: An All-Star Holiday Special will air, featuring a duet with Dolly Parton and a trio with Christina Applegate and fellow Oklahoman Kristin Chenoweth. She'll also sing with American Idol alum David Cook: "We sound really good together, point blank… Out of all the people that have been on Idol, he's my best friend." [USA Today]
• In The Last Station, Helen Mirren plays Sofya, Tolstoy's wife of 48 years and the mother of his 13 children. Mirren, whose real name is lynea Mironov, felt a connection with her character: "My great great grandmother was a Russian countess and one side of my family was Russian aristocracy; the other was English working-class, so I'm a good contradiction." And: "This is one of the great women's roles in film. Sofya is a wonderfully tempestuous and passionate person." [Telegraph]
• Mark your calendars: January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, will host Saturday Night Live on November 14 — with the Black Eyed Peas as musical guests. November 21, it'll be Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the Dave Matthews Band. [EW]
• Despite all the scandal, The Late Show With David Letterman hasn't shown lower ratings. It's down 8% in its coveted 18-49 demo but up 13% total viewers… Compare that to The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien, which is down 15% in the demo and down 47% in viewers. [Reuters]
• Cute pic of Sam Ronson on the back of Mark Ronson's scooter. [Daily Mail]
• Edward Norton ran the New York Marathon with an unofficial time of 3:48:01. He and 3 Masai warriors — and others, including Alanis Morrisette and David Blaine — ran to raise money for the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. [ONTD]
• Ryan Reynolds ran the New York marathon as well; pic at the link. [Gatecrasher]
• Model Veronica Webb also ran the marathon. [Page Six]
• The cast of Glee will be presented with a Hollywood Diversity Award later this month. [Reuters]
• A waiter at high-end restaurant Clarke Cooke House in Newport, Rhode Island asked Kevin Spacey not to smoke in the establishment. Spacey called the guy an "aggressive prick" and the guy got fired. [Radar Online]
• At the link, Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson does his best James Dean for Vanity Fair. [ONTD]
• Speaking of the Sparkle Vamp: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart will allegedly be on the December cover of Harper's Bazaar. [WWD]
• Mel Gibson is a father for the eighth time: His girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva had a baby girl on Friday. By the by, Oksana is 39; Mel's eldest daughter Hannah is 28. [Daily Mail]
• Kelly Rowland plays a happy housewife and mom of triplets in the new 50 Cent video, although there's a twist at the end. [The Life Files]
• Clive Owen's costars can't stop gushing about how awesome he is. [The Star]
• Tila Tequila is auctioning off a plaster cast of her boobs to help raise money for breast cancer awareness. [Page Six]
• "British film icon Sir Michael Caine has abandoned his support of the Labour party and announced he will vote Conservative at the next general election." [Telegraph]
• RIP August Coppola, Nicoalas Cage's dad and Francis Ford Coppola's brother. [Page Six]
• Q: Did you ever think that the dancing baby was ridiculous?
  A: "No, honestly, I was quite intrigued by it. I thought it was smart! Obviously, it was symbolic of Ally's biological clock ticking away, and I thought, what a great way to do that. I loved the fantasy sequences; I loved that we got to see her imagination come to life." — Calista Flockhart on Ally McBeal. [Newsweek]
• "Would you take a photo with me? I love Asians!" — Anthony Anderson. [Page Six]
• "What do you mean, you don't know who I am? I'm on Bravo." — Chad from Million Dollar Listing. [Page Six]
• "In the area of our veterans coming home with traumas or PTSD or whatever, it's one of those issues that isn't pretty to look at. We ask these people to fight for us and risk their lives, and certainly potentially alter their outlook of the world or how they react to things. I think it would be nice for us as a society to have some more awareness of what they go through, and to take on some more responsibility for the results of our asking them to go over there." — Tobey Maquire, who plays a Marine captain who survives captivity in Afghanistan only to find his relationship back home with his family — and his self-image — changed, in the family drama Brothers. [LA Times]
• "[The movie] is definitely not a history lesson. It's very relatable. She doesn't get on with her mother. She's in love for the first time. She's a teenager. And she's in a job where she's in way over her head." — Emily Blunt on the teenage Queen in Young Victoria. [LA Times]
• "I think parents need to take a lot more responsibility than they do about whether it's OK for their children to go to Resident Evil or any other movie with violence or sex or whatever. It's really easy to blame Hollywood for violence having an effect on kids, but movies would have no power if parents would just set their own standards. And it's the same with video games." And: "I did this movie .45 that kind of never saw the light of day, it went straight to DVD. I really connected with this character who was a victim of domestic violence but ends up taking control. I think a lot more women today are taking control as opposed to being the kind of stereotypical female who's weepy and gets abused by men. Women are more educated now about abuse. It's not like it was in the '80s. I think they're much more in control of all aspects of their lives. I think Japanese girls are fascinated with strong women. Their culture really puts such a focus on being subservient. Like, you go to Tokyo and they bow and they want to make sure everything's good. That's like a cultural phenomenon. So I think to see a woman kicking butt and using weapons makes them feel a little empowered. So there's a huge fan base for the Resident Evil movies over there." — Milla Jovovich. [ONTD via Parade]
• "I don't want to be a movie star like Angelina Jolie. Nothing about being a celebrity is desirable. I'm an actor. It's bizarre to me that everybody's so obsessive." — Kristen Stewart. [Showbiz Spy]
• "I like to iron. Ironing is comfort. It's control. I'm a nutty person who likes to make sure everything is in its place." — Sandra Bullock. [The Life Files via Parade]
• "I think I'm just misunderstood. I'm not a fame seeker. Everyday I look in the mirror and I wonder [why I'm famous]. I don't sing. I don't dance. I'm not a Nobel Peace Prizewinner. I just had eight kids and I had a show on TLC… Half the stuff I've done, if I look at my moral compass, I shouldn't have done. I know that but I did it anyway. It's like fame canceled out conviction. I want to apologize to Kate in private… I'll apologize to her for openly having relationships in the public eye. That was a huge mistake, because if she would've done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off. Not because our relationship is over, it's almost like a stab in the back. And now that I think about it, it was a very wrong thing to do. I definitely regret it." — Jon Gosselin. [People]

On the surface, the amendment, attached to a defense appropriations bill, may seem a little complicated. It seems less so when you learn why it's necessary. Former Halliburton/KBR employee Jamie Leigh Jones says she was drugged by her coworkers and gang-raped so brutally that she awoke "with lacerations to her vagina and anus, blood running down her leg, her breast implants ruptured and her pectoral muscles torn‚ which would later require reconstructive surgery." She was then locked in a shipping container, presumably to keep her from testifying, and her rape kit and other evidence went mysteriously "missing." When she tried to sue, she was informed that her contract required her to address the allegations in arbitration instead, a process which FishbowlLA's Pandora Young says "overwhelmingly favors the employers." The Guardian also spoke with two other women whose claims of assault or harassment had been ignored by Halliburton/KBR.

Not dealing with companies that actively keep rape victims from justice seems, Stewart says, like a "slam dunk." But not for Sen. Jeff Sessions. He says,

Instead of eliminating arbitration, we should probably be looking for ways to utilize mediation and arbitration more in these kind of disputes.

Makes sense — after all, it's really important for rape victims and the companies that hold them in locked shipping containers while disposing of evidence come to an amicable settlement in a friendly, non-litigious atmosphere. Bonus points if that atmosphere is controlled by the company, as opposed to an impartial court. Because since outsourcing the Iraq war to Halliburton worked so well, we might as well outsource the settlement of rape claims to them too.

Sessions also calls Franken's bill "a political amendment [...] representing a sort of political attack directed at Halliburton." As Stewart points out, this accusation rings a bit hollow, especially since four of the Senators who voted against Franken's bill recently spoke out in favor of an amendment to withdraw government funding from Acorn. Of that amendment, Sen. Richard Shelby said "we've got to get corruption out of any organization that's taking taxpayers' money" — apparently that applies only if those organizations are, you know, liberal. But the real money quote comes from Stewart: "If to protect Halliburton, you have to side against rape victims, you might want to rethink your allegiances."

'The Daily Show' Examines Republican Opposition To Anti-Rape Bill [FishbowlLA]
Rape Case To Force US Defence Firms Into The Open [Guardian]

It's not that there's anything inappropriate about the little flirtatious compliments hosts pay to the women — especially actresses — who appear on their shows. And Letterman certainly isn't the only one to talk up his guests' beauty — Stewart's been known to do it too. but it does give the impression that the female guests are there as eye candy, even if they just, say, directed a film or completed a serious role. That's why it's so refreshing when, in the clip above, Jon Stewart jumps in after her hyperarticulate monologue about the history of Rhode Island to say, with obvious admiration, "you're very smart."

Given everything I've written about Letterman in the last couple days, you're probably expecting me to applaud the asexuality of the whole exchange. But it actually made me blush a little, because while all the "you're beautiful" comments are standard boilerplate for a celebrity interview, telling someone she's smart in a way seemed like actual flirting — or least, the kind of flirting I actually respond to. Calling a woman pretty is, while sometimes welcome, pretty much a Standard All-Purpose Compliment, while calling her smart (and meaning it) shows you're actually paying attention. So while I don't think Stewart's really hitting on Vowell here, I did find the whole thing kind of hot.

But that's just me. In a larger sense, it is nice to see a female guest treated like an actual author rather than a sex object. Of course, Vowell's whole persona — her clothes, her bowl haircut, her constant assertions of her own nerdiness — downplays sexuality in favor of intellect, and I wonder if this is a conscious choice. While Billy Parker's recent Gothamist interview with Vowell veers once into the semi-suggestive ("Have you always clicked with jokey fellas?"), Parker largely sticks with serious questions like, "What's the youngest reader that you're aware that you've had?" and, "Was Roger Williams a slight man?" Singers with sexy images, or writers un/fortunate enough to be tarred with the "hot writer" brush often end up getting asked a lot more about their looks and relationships, and a lot less about their work.

Vowell has a pretty funny This American Life piece about dressing as a goth, in part as a response to people assuming she's sweet all the time. So she's clearly aware of the power of appearance and its influence on social interaction. Most likely her personal style is just what makes her comfortable and happy, but her conservative outfits and simple hair also give her a certain freedom — the freedom to talk about what she wants to talk about, without participating in a played-out sexual script. It's a freedom some actresses might well envy.

Sarah Vowell, Author [Gothamist]
Sarah Vowell [Daily Show]

• Gerard Butler had to shoot a wedding photograph with Jennifer Aniston as a prop for their characters in The Bounty. Gerard says:

"It was quite romantic. We were joking about it: 'We might as well make this real. Keep everybody happy.'" As Gerard slipped the ring on Jen's finger, his phone rang. It was his mother. "I have to call you back. I'm getting married," Butler deadpanned — on speakerphone, so the crew could hear. "She goes, 'What?' " Butler clarified: " 'I'm marrying Jennifer Aniston!' and she's like: 'Oh, good. Well, I'm glad you made the right choice.'" [USA Today]

• Lindsay Lohan feels "scared" and "violated" after the break in at her Hollywood Hills home. She Tweeted: "I know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me. It really makes me sad, and well, obviously-scared. :( and I'm sorry i haven't been on in a bit... my life has been kind of in shambles considering my house was broken into and i feel really violated." [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: The "real reason" Lindsay is upset about someone stealing the safe from her house? She had some "very incriminating" videos, photos and legal documents inside. Will they go public? [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Oh Lord. Britney Spears is "still madly in love" with Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo she dated for a few months early last year. Notes this column: "The pap-turned-celebrity-by-association was later charged with assault, hit-and-run and battery stemming from an incident in which he allegedly attempted to run over a court official who was trying to serve a restraining order on him." A catch! [Fox News]
• Britney has been catching shows while in New York: Wicked and The Little Mermaid, for instance. But her lawyer Larry Rudolph is with her, not alleged boyfriend/manager Jason Trawick. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett went to the Britney Spears concert in NYC and reports: "When Spears wasn't changing from one fabric swatch to another, her time onstage could be summed up in one word: walking. There was walking from one side of the stage to the other. There was walking from one backup dancer so she could be flung toward another. Sometimes you could find Spears walking to a cage, entering and having another person push it, so the cage could do the walking for her." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The 53-year-old man charged with stalking Miley Cyrus told an investigator he planned on visiting her movie set and "finishing things." [AP]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin are accusing each other of financial deception. Prediction: It will get uglier than an Ed Hardy T-shirt. [Radar Online]
• The real reason Kate called the cops on Jon recently? She heard Jon was going out drinking and leaving the kids with babysitter Stephanie Santoro. [Radar Online]
• Jon was spotted wearing a shirt with the words "Lies lies lies lies." [Gatecrasher]
• On August 13, Jon and Kate's plus 8 — the children — staged a rebellion, refusing to be videotaped for the show. "The kids staged a sit-in — a revolt," Jon tells Life & Style. "They didn't want to work." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now it comes out: Documents released by the court show that Chris Brown and Rihanna had a history of violence. She had slapped him during an argument three months before the February incident in which he assaulted her; his response was to shove her into a wall. A second fight, in January, involved an argument inside of an SUV in Barbados. Chris Brown "exited and broke the front driver and passenger side windows of the car. No one was injured during the incident." [People, TMZ]
• Before Chris Brown was sentenced, his record label CEO, a lawyer who has worked with Oprah and Brown's pastor all wrote letters to the judge. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown has been "depressed" since the assault on Rihanna. [TMZ]
• Court documents also show that in June, Chris Brown said that he was "ashamed and embarrassed" about the Rihanna beating. He wanted to plead guilty, but his lawyer, Mark Geragos, would not let him. Brown also told probation officers that he wanted to attend domestic violence counseling and "do it right." [TMZ]
• An official transcript of the incident between Chris and Rihanna is at the link; it is detailed and disturbing. Just a snippet: "As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand…
  [Brown] looked at [Rihanna] and said 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'" [TMZ]
• Kari Ann Peniche, whom you may have seen topless in Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane's nude video, says that she is a sex addict but not a madam. She says her hard drive has pictures of reputed madams because she once wrote a college paper about prostitution. She also says: "My biggest concern is my family. My brother is saying he wants to change his last name now. He goes, 'You're not my sister anymore.'" [E!]
• Six words: Neal Patrick Harris on American Idol. [Gatecrasher]
• Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer got together during the pilot of True Blood, but kept it very quiet. Costar Carrie Preston says: "They were very cool and professional about it." [People]
• John Mayer and Taylor Swift will be making music together, and that is not a euphemism. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé has been named Billboard's Woman of The Year. [AP]
• Paula Abdul has gotten the boot from Ugly Betty "over her outrageous demands" — including a private jet. This report claims she will host a VH1 show called Divas instead and Kristen Johnston will take Paula's part on Ugly Betty. [The Sun]
• Danielle Staub from Real Housewives Of New Jersey needs a cover shot for her upcoming memoir, and is trying to get photographers to take a picture of her for free. A source says, "It's embarrasing and tacky!" [Gatecraasher]
• A "skripper" pal of Amber Rose claims that she got illegal injections from a "hood doctor" to make her butt bigger. [Media Takeout]
• Chelsea Handler and her boyfriend have broken up. But as you may know, her boyfriend is Ted Harbert, CEO of Comcast, aka her boss. He's moved out of the house and into a hotel. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis is facing a criminal trial, and his defense team will try to legitimize Joe by linking the Girls Gone Wild mastermind to stars like Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn and Jack Nicholson. Too bad Jen's name is misspelled in the presentation slide. [The Smoking Gun]
• Curious about Martina Navratilova's love life? Want to see the word "galimony" used in a sentence? Click the link! [Page Six]
• A&E is planning a reality series about the Jackson brothers. The network had already ordered a show before Michael Jackson died, but now the series will be expanded and focus on the band as they reunite as brothers — "underneath a cloud of tragedy." [NY Times]
• Comedy Central has been doing research on its fans and finds that viewers say that "people think I'm cool because I watch" Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. [NY Times]
• Drag performer Erickatoure Aviance went to a taping of the Wendy Williams show, but was told that she could not appear on camera or ask any questions because she was "in violation of the no-costumes dress code." Aviance said: "This is not a costume." And someone connected with the show said: "Well, it's a costume to us. We don't want the show to turn into Let's Make a Deal, where everyone comes in crazy costumes." Aviance was stunned: "So you're comparing me to a man in a gorilla suit?" Aviance notes: "I was wearing a ponytail piece and a bang piece. It was much less hair than Wendy was wearing and, p.s., much less hair than any of the other black women in the audience." Now Lonnie Burstein, the VP of the company behind the show, has issued an apology to Aviance and to GLAAD. [Advocate, Advocate]
• Susan Sarandon: Joining the cast of Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Electric Boogaloo. [Variety]
• Redmond O'Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett, has signed a reality show deal — brokered by his dad, Ryan O'Neal — that will chronicle hus strugle with addiction. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Eddie Cibrian and Wife 'Both Happy'...Now That They're Getting Divorced." [E!]
• The Who's Pete Townshend has written a new musical, Floss, about the aging process. It's like, "Tommy can you hear me? Turn up your hearing aid!" [AP]
• Whatshername's new boyfriend tells her he loves her 50 million times a day, which seems excessive. [Daily Mail]
• "It was exhilaratingly humiliating. But I completely became giddy in a strange way the moment I put on the dress. Vanity quickly set in, and I thought to myself, 'I wish my belly was flatter.' Let's face it, I don't look great in a dress, but it's nice to hear I have nice legs." — Liev Schreiber on playing a transvestite in Taking Woodstock. Click for pic! [People]
• "The Runaways is absolutely not a biopic. It's not fact-for-fact. What they did was basically take elements from the Runaways story and created a parallel narrative. We're hoping it will be great. They exceeded our expectations with the casting. ... Even if it's not a huge movie, it's going to have a colossal effect on young girls playing rock 'n' roll, for sure. Kristen [Stewart] was so into it, into the whole vibe of doing this. I think she felt a weight and a responsibility to interpret it correctly. She was really serious about it and was watching me and asking me all sorts of question, from speech aspects to watching my body language, watching where I stood, watching my guitar playing. She really worked hard to get it right." — Joan Jett. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "Everything in our movie, it's such a heightened version of reality. People don't just break up [in the films] – they break up and it literally kills you. It's not like you just say, 'Oh, I'm really depressed and crying.' I always had a really hard time figuring out, 'Am I doing enough? Do I look like I'm going to die?' My favorite line in the book is when I have to say to [Jacob], 'It's him; it's always been him!' Yeah, it killed me. It killed me." — New Moon star Kristen Stewart. [People]
• "I do get men trying to pick me up and it's funny because a year ago, when I was dressing like this, with a very avant-garde fashion sense, I think I intimidated men much more. It was funny the other day when I was wearing my cone head and this radio DJ was saying, 'Oh you're so sexy', when the mic was off. I thought, 'I can't believe that after a whole year, they finally think my cone head is sexy." — Lady Gaga. [Mirror]

The architect of the "Death Panels" idea, McCaughey didn't miss a beat when Daily Show host Jon Stewart pointed out the text of the bill mandates "life-sustaining" procedures - which seems a bit far from a death panel.

Instead, McCaughey ducked the actual language of the bill and continued to push her agenda, which includes telling seniors that the cuts to Medicare means they will no longer be able to get hip replacements and bypass surgery.

Around seven minutes in, Jon finally lost his patience, as did most of the audience. (You can watch the unedited, entire interview here and here.)

Our best fake newscaster hit the nail over the head again and again. There are legitimate things to be discussed about this health care plan and what it actually does and does not grant. But time and time again, the people who get the most airtime and have the most to say about health care are not the people who are the best informed - instead the focus falls to people like Betsy McCaughey, who is so serious about her message being delivered that she walked onto the show with the first half of the health care bill in a binder with no markings, tabs, or post-it notes to access certain sections. She won't acknowledge that she may have gotten her facts mixed up or that she may be making leaps of logic that have no actual basis in legislation. She doesn't acknowledge that some of the issues she is against were actually in the Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement, and Modernization Act (MMA) of 2003.

Instead, McCaughey, like the Dark Ex-Governor during the Vice Presidential debates, focused on winning over the crowd, not producing any factual basis for her claims. She smiled and searched the audience for support. She said cute things about Jon Stewart and made it seem like they were two friends in on a big joke, just like Palin did during the Vice Presidential debates. And she actively pandered for sympathy from the crowd, in the same way we have seen Palin do in so many of her public appearances.

It's the Palin model for public discourse.

And it is going to be the death of intelligent political discussion.

Exclusive - Betsy McCaughey Extended Interview Pt. 1 [The Daily Show]
FACT CHECK: No 'Death Panel' in Health Care Bill [The Caucus]
The New Medicare Prescription Drug Law [BNET]

Related: I Was Wrong [James Fallows]

"To be honest," Tim told Jon, "it was too painful for me to watch it." Jon replied: "It sucked."

Bonus clip: Tim Gunn talks about the comic book version of himself!

Last night's segment on the Daily Show between Jon Stewart and Larry Wilmore was chock full of lots of quotables like:

"White people had a good run, but it's over!"

"All men are created equal - how'd you think that would end?"

"This is what happens when you have a melting pot, the stew gets darker."

I chuckled along until the very end - when Wilmore told Jon to buck up - after all, he gets to say "That's Racist!" now. That joke in particular struck a sour note with me - while I could get the coy reference to other terms, I still can't get over the fact that so many people seem to think pointing out racism is some kind of gotcha strategy, akin to a game or a sport.

The Daily Show [Comedy Central]

• According to this report, Mischa Barton was taken from her home last week because she was so high on coke friends were afraid she was going to kill herself. [NY Post]

• A source says of Mischa Barton: "She is a mess. She is a suicidal, uninsurable mess." [The Sun]
• Madonna has visited the family of a worker killed in a stage collapse in France and will meet with three other people hurt in the accident. [UPI]
• Someone stole three boxes of clothing from L.A. stylist Jennifer Rade Thursday night. Who was Rade's client? Who was she collecting dresses for? Angelina Jolie. [Page Six]
• "Single Jessica Simpson Keeps A Low Profile." You mean she's not running around in circles chirping "I'm single! I'm single!"? Huh. [People]
• Nick Lachey says there is no truth to the rumor that he and Jessica Simpson might reunite: "I haven't talked to her in probably two years," Nick says. "I wish her happiness. That's where it pretty much ends." [People]
• Prince was spotted on a first class flight from Minneapolis to La Guardia. He was reading Elle magazine, carrying a gold- and diamond-encrusted walking stick and wearing flip-flops with sparkly silver socks. Whoever spotted him has pretty much had the best day of his or her life and it's all downhill from here. [Page Six]
• Gwyneth Paltrow: "Furious" that Scarlett Johansson is upstaging her. See, ScarJo is on the new Iron Man 2 cover of Entertainment Weekly, and in the new publicity shots; Gwynnie is not. [The Sun]
• David Beckham played his first home game with the L.A. Galaxy this year — and was booed by haters. One fan jumped over some seats to confront Beckham and ended up getting arrested. [AP]
• When we saw this Jean-Charles de Castelbajac ensemble, we were like, who the hell would wear that? Well, the answer, of course, is: Lady Gaga. [BuzzFeed]
• Kate Gosselin and the kids were in New York on Saturday to do a photo shoot for TLC; there was some kind of kerfluffle between security guards outside of the photo studio and paparazzi — the guards used umbrellas, styrofoam boards and folding tables to keep the snappers back; the kids had to be hustled into the studio. "It must have been very upsetting for the kids," says one observer. [People]
• Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman went to fat camp before college, but would cheat by going to Panda Express. Apparently this was before her alleged "coke diet." [Perez]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin have been split up and living separately since last year, and Jon didn't start dating until after the divorce. [People]
• Wait, what? Jon Gosselin is dating a Star magazine reporter named Kate Major? [Gatecrasher]
• Concert promoter AEG is auctioning off the rights to the rehearsal footage of Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour, and no Jackson family members are involved in the sale. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Looks like Sony Pictures is close to closing a deal to make a feature film out of the Michael Jackson rehearsal footage. [Variety]
• La Toya Jackson penned a "tribute single" after her brother's death and it will be available on iTunes on July 28. [Mirror]
• TMZ reported that Jermaine, Tito and Jackie Jackson would be performing at the Jamaican Reggae Summerfest. But Jermaine says: "TMZ needs to get their facts straight. We're not going to Jamaica." [E!]
• Tito Jackson seems to blame Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death, saying: "My opinion is that he panicked when my brother didn't wake up… He did have a pulse but he couldn't bring him back. I don't know what the time lapse was between the doctor finding him and when he called paramedics. But I believe if he had immediately called for help we might still have my brother here today, he would definitely still be alive." [Mirror]
• An anonymous senior law enforcement official says there will not be a murder charge in the Michael Jackson case. [UPI]
• Is Katherine Jackson trying to object to the executors named in Michael Jackson's will? And if so, why? There's a "no contest" clause in the will, meaning anyone who files objections to the will automatically gets no money. Is she being manipulated… by Joe? [TMZ]
• This report claims that Janet Jackson has offered to raise Michael's children, and loves them like they are her own. [The Sun]
• Russell Crowe is a hero! No, really: He helped out "a real-life damsel in distress" on the set of his new Robin Hood film. A crew member's car went up in flames when she was on her way to work. She told her colleagues about her scary experience, and Russell made a joke about it — but then ended up giving her enough cash to buy a new car. [Mirror, NY Daily News]
• Paula Abdul does not have a new contract to appear on American Idol for another season, which is probably more of a publicity stunt than an actual possibility that she won't return to the show. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Nevertheless, there's a #keeppaula Twitter trend. [LA Times]
• One reason Paula Abdul might not have a contract: She's holding out for more money. Apparently she makes around $2.5 mil a year, compared to the $15 a year Ryan Seacrest gets. [TMZ]
• Gossip Girls Michelle Trachtenberg and Jessica Szohr, as well as Rumer Willis, Ali Lohan and Stephanie Pratt attended a Charlotte Russe event in NYC last week, where a model playing air guitar almost hit a waiter in the head. [WWD]
• 50 Cent has been trying to sell his is giant mansion in Connecticut — the one that used to belong to Mike Tyson — which has 19 bedrooms, 37 bathrooms and a club with stripper poles. He's knocked about $4 million off the price, so if you have $10.9 million, it's all yours. [The Sun, Hartford Courant]
• Emma Thompson is looking frumpy and old-fashioned: She's filming Nanny McPhee 2! [Daily Mail]
• Jon Stewart has sent Daily Show DVDs to a 32-year-old man with leukemia and has offered to give the guy a tour of the set. [UPI]
• When Kylie Minogue and Spanish beau Andres Velencoso were arguing in a NYC club last week, he pulled out a camera and photographed her while she was upset. A source says: "He's making a collage of Kylie and has already got three albums full of photos of her, which he hopes to publish some day." [Daily Express]
• A source says of John Mayer: "Several years ago when he was dating Jessica Simpson, he couldn't go to her birthday party because he was on tour. So the night of her birthday she had dinner with [hairdresser] Ken Paves and a few friends. Everyone thought John would forget her birthday, but then a gift arrived from him — it was a DVD of him in concert. Jessica spent the rest of the night watching the DVD on a loop, 'being with him.' It was so sad." [Page Six]
• Zzzz: Peaches Geldof fell asleep during a TV interview with Fearne Cotton. [The Sun]
• "Kim Cattrall and toy boy split because he 'refused to be a kept man'" [Daily Mail]
• Jay-Z sips white wine as he is interviewed about The Blueprint 3, his 11th studio album, due in September — eight years to the day after the debut of the original Blueprint. "I wanted to bring it full circle," he says. "The first Blueprint was based on soul samples and more of a place where I came from and the records I listened to growing up with my mom and pop. This Blueprint, I liken it to a new classic, simply because we — Usher, Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, myself — are becoming the people that we looked up to musically growing up, like Marvin Gaye and Frank Sinatra." [Reuters]
• "Sienna Miller: 'I nearly burnt my breasts making GI Joe.'" [Daily Mail]
• Morgan Freeman is in talks to star with Bruce Willis in Red, based on the WildStorm/DC Comic. [Variety]
• Singer Christina Milian and producer/singer The Dream: Engaged. [NY Daily News]
• Click the link if you'd like to see video of Willem Dafoe talking about Lars von Trier's controversial thriller Antichrist. You know, the one where Charlotte Gainsbourg takes a blunt object to Dafoe's [ genitalia? [Guardian]
• Dazed Digital: There's a lot of nudity in the film so, I have to ask, is that actually your…
  Willem Dafoe: … Penis? No, it's not mine. Lars used a porn actor for those scenes. It was a good decision because, if it was me, then that's all that people would talk about. Obviously Lars wants the characters to have genitals but it would become a distraction: ‘Oh, they really had sex!' If he had asked me to do it, I don't know what I would have said. [Dazed Digital]
• Once, David Byrne almost hit Paris Hilton with his bike. [Page Six]
• RIP Frank McCourt. [NY Daily News]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet got her first big break on TV by sending the producer a tape of herself having sex with another girl? The producer thought the ploy was so original, he cast her instead of dozens of other ingénues." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which perennial bachelor princeling should be more careful? While His Serene Highness was cavorting on a yacht in the Mediterranean with a hunky guy, he thought the servants on board would keep their mouths shut. He was wrong." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which creepy dude and his posse of pals take photos of their overnight lady guests while the women are sleeping and tack them up on a 'Wall of Shame' afterward?" [Gatecrasher]
• "He put my son to shame! I provided my son with the best martial artists in the world, and he could not be persuaded to try it. In just two months, Jaden had learned so much. He is truly a talented boy." — Jackie Chan says Will Smith's son, who will star in Kung Fu Kid, is better at martial arts than his own son. [NY Daily News]
• "Anderson was just amazing. He said that the seven most horrifying words you can hear from a mother are, 'I'm going to write an erotic novel.' But he's fine with it, and of course I gave it to him before I even sent it off." — Gloria Vanderbilt, on her new book. The 85-year-old also says: "I think it's a work of art. The age of the artist is not what we're talking about. I mean, it's as if you looked at a painting and said, How old was the person that painted this? You really don't think in those terms." [Time]
• "When I started out, I'm not sure I was actually in it for the right reasons. I wanted very much to be famous. I did expect to succeed and I did have faith that I would. In reality, though, it has turned out to be something very different to what I wanted. It's the work and not the adulation that has proved to be the most fulfilling." — Gerard Butler. [Telegraph]
• "I have a boyfriend now, but I've been linked to so many guys I sound like a wanton woman. People say to me, 'Oh, it must be so easy for you, dating and boys.' It's really not easy. I suppose guys are either intimidated by me and have their defenses up, or they take the piss out of me. And I'm surrounded by cute older guys on set. That's my problem. It's a minefield, to be honest. It's stressful." — Emma Watson. [Mirror]
• "I'm sure I would have liked to have seen my parents more, and at that time, we did come second. But I like to think of them in Paris, having fun, not thinking too much ... And it was a different time." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on being the daughter of free spirits French singer Serge Gainsbourg and the English actress Jane Birkin. [Independent]
• "He was the most important voice in our lives for thirty years. And that voice made people reach for the stars. I hate the world without Walter Cronkite." — George Clooney. [Yahoo News via E!]

Culling from what one only assumes was a vast, vast amount and range of insults leveled at the South Carolina senator, Stewart narrowed the insults down to 5 sources. The first was from Roger at The Brad Blog:

As I sit here listenting to String Cheese Incident I think, why are all the geniuses musicians? and why are most politicians morons? Lindsey Graham is the ass of the YEAR, never mind the day. He says he has major reservations about the program yet attacks John Dean without knowing what the fuck he's talking about! I thought he was on our side but now I see it as a ruse. He'll, no doubt, vote with going forward with the wiretapping as is with no more oversight than there is now, which is NONE!

The second came from the Walrus at Crooks and Liars:

Lindsey Graham is a disgusting slimeball of the first order. When I see him, I think of Poe's M. Valdemar and expect him to start literally melting at any moment.

The third was the work of loquaciousmusic at Wonkette:

Hey, now! There are so many NOT GAY men named Lindsey!

1) Lindsey Buckingham, from Fleetwood Mac
2)

Uh…

2)

Mmmm…

2)

Oh, fuck it. Lindsey Graham takes it up the cornhole.

And the final two quotes come from the comment thread of a YouTube video (always a hotbed of intelligent conversation) posted by a racist anti-immigrant organization that considers Graham to soft on immigration.

gvmeacalll
Lindsey Graham is a sad sack of $hit and he is an embarrassment to the state of South Carolina! The only reason he is still in power is because the democrats as well as the single lever pulling clueless Republicans voted for him. His Democratic opponent Bob Conley was 10 times more conservative than this retard!!!

CazK88
He's such a white southern pig racist idiot douche-bag who makes no sense.

We're sure you can do better.

Related: Is Lindsey Graham The Ass Of The Day? [The Brad Blog]
Lindsey Graham Visibly Grumpy After Hearing About The Good Polling Numbers For Obama: 'I'm Tired' [Crooks And Liars]
MSNBC: Lindsey Graham Is A Gay [Wonkette]
SC Senator Lindsey Graham's Insane Comments At Racist Event! [YouTube]

Bee defended Palin, asking Stewart to leave her family alone, revising the definition of resignation to accommodate world views other than the myopic ones of liberal East Coast dictionary writers, explaining the rules of maverick basketball and breaking the latest Palin resignation news. I mean, her family understands that "you can't suckle from the teat of a shooting star."

The interview, which lasted nearly twenty minutes, was heavily edited for broadcast, so Stewart encouraged people to watch it in its entirely on the site. It's broken up (relatively poorly) into three segments.

In this first segment, Huckabee states that his position on abortion comes down to his respect for human life and his belief that every human life has value. If you're curious, Huckabee — by his own admission — authorized more executions than any other governor in Arkansas' history. When asked to explain his feelings about executions, he said:

I authorized other executions after that one, but it never became easier. If it had, there would have been something wrong with me or the process. To this day I am confident that I did the right thing—"right" defined against moral absolutes in the midst of an imperfect world.

He added that he felt that God, not taxpayers, should judge his actions.

Stewart asked Huckabee if he really believes that pro-choice advocates don't value life. Huckabee agreed that they're not necessarily callous, but that they haven't thought their position through enough.

For example, if we tell the generation coming up after us that it is okay to take a human life because that life represents to us an interference or an interruption to our lives, either economically, or socially, or whatever the reason — and, by the way, 93 percent of abortions are elective abortions. It has nothing to do with the health of the mother, it has nothing to do with the health of the baby, and it's not a matter of rape...

Actually, Huckabee is completely incorrect on that last point — abortions in the case of rape and incest are still generally classified as elective abortions. But, more to the point, Huckabee has also made a great argument against the death penalty, which he supports and acted out.

Huckabee goes on to make the argument that life begins at conception, and that, since a fetus is a cluster of human-DNA- containing cells (and not another species) it is therefore a human life. His final point is that he wouldn't want his children to be able to determine his life in old age based on their convenience.

I do not want to give my kids the opportunity to say, "Dad, you are an interference. Coming to see you in the nursing home is messing up my social life. You are very expensive, Dad. Your long term care bill is breaking us."

Yeah, no shit Huckabee doesn't want his kids determining his fate — at age 18, his son David found a skinny dog with a rash, tortured it and hung it at a Boy Scout camp to "put it out of its misery." Stewart, thankfully, pointed out there's a bit of a difference because Huckabee wouldn't be living inside the bodies of his children.

In segment 2, Huckabee and Stewart got into the current debate about abortion reduction. Huckabee went straight to the idea of parental notification — because, as is the anti-abortion movement's biggest canard, if you can prevent access to abortion, you're preventing abortion, full stop. Who cares about preventing unwanted pregnancies, if you can just force women to keep the babies?

Stewart countered with the crazy idea that maybe women don't want the government telling them what they can — and what they should have to — do with their bodies. Huckabee had an answer for that, though.

See, Jon, I don't know of a pro-life person that believes if the mother's physical health is in jeopardy that you just let the mother die in order to save the child. Your ideal would be to save both.

For one thing, in fact, there are plenty of people in the anti-abortion movement who deny the fact that pregnancy carries dangers for the mother or that, when it does, abortion is truly justified — Amanda Marcotte found that out from one of the movement's campus advocacy handbooks not too long ago. For two, the GOP's own Presidential candidate dismissed the idea that abortion could be necessary for the health of the mother in a televised debate less than a year ago with a spectacular application of "dick fingers." So, actually, there are plenty of people in the anti-abortion movement who could give a shit about the health of the mother.

Stewart attempted to bring the discussion back to abortion-reduction strategies other than access-reduction. Huckabee, however, refused to get drawn into a debate about contraception education and started talking about the recent Gallup poll seized on by anti-abortion advocates in order to "prove" that the United States is a pro-life country.

Failing to draw Stewart into that discussion, Huckabee — in his gentle, folksy, not-crazy-sounding way — hit on the final, most absurdist talking point on abortion: he compared women who have abortion to slave holders.

I think one of the fundamental questions that we would have to come to is does a person have a right to own another person. That really is the issue. Can a person own another person? Can a mother totally own the child? Can the father totally own the child?

The abortion-as-slavery comparison isn't new. What is scary about Huckabee, though, is he managed to convey the exact same points as other anti-abortion conservatives without resorting to the kind of scare rhetoric that soothes the base and inflames the rest of us. Instead, he came across sounding thoughtful...if you didn't think too hard about what he was saying. He even quoted the Declaration of Independence in support of his point — if you define a fetus as a human, then, according to Huckabee, fetuses are entitled to the same right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" as the rest of us. Maybe we ought to stop calling it abortion, and start calling it "fetal liberation"?

Huckabee continued with his oblique slavery references in the third segment. He said:

The question is, is that life inside the mother a human life? If it is, then that human life has equal value to the 70-year-old man, to the 7-year-old child. There is no point at which human life loses its intrinsic worth and value. Do we have the right to own another person?

What Huckabee was doing is taking part of the reasoning of Roe v. Wade (that as the fetus approaches viability, its rights increase in relation to the mother), throwing in a little science (the fetus has human DNA, therefore it is human), mixing it up with the rhetoric of our forefathers and pouring listeners a strangely vomit-flavored concoction based on the idea that the uteruses of American women are carrying their country's citizens.

Unfortunately, after this, Stewart went off the rails, using language about stem cell research to try to draw Huckabee into a debate about IVF treatment, which Huckabee used to turn into a debate about "snowflake babies" (kids born from frozen embryos designated for destruction) — which is, after all, already on the anti-abortion movement's agenda.

Stewart did, however, finally get back to the idea of abortion-reduction through education, which Huckabee expressed limited support for before returning to the abortion-as slavery analogy.

The problem with Mike Huckabee is that, despite his fundamentalist Christian beliefs and strong social conservative streak, he comes across sounding so damn reasonable. Luckily for us, fiscally conservative Republicans hate him even more than John McCain meaning he probably couldn't be able to could pull something off in 2012.

Related: Mike Huckabee on Crime [OnTheIssues]
Can a Naughty Boy Bring Down a Wannabe President? [Wonkette]

Earlier: Stop The Presses: Abortion Protesters Are Disingenuous?
John McCain Spews Rhetorical Chunks Into The Lap Of America
Has A Pro-Choice President Made More Americans Pro-Life?
Abortion Is The Same As & Cause Of Everything: Obama Edition
When Viability Starts Earlier, When Does The Right To Abortion End?
Nadya Suleman Is The New Poster Girl For Restricting Reproductive Rights

[New York, May 2. Image via INF]

[New York, April 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Miley Cyrus might make you want to puke: Hannah Montana Chocolate Granola Bars have been recalled due to suspected salmonella contamination. [Perez]

• Natasha Richardson suffered a serious head injury in a ski accident and has been hospitalized in Montreal. Husband Liam Neeson has rushed to her side. [People]
• Oh, no: Natasha Richardson is in critical condition. As you may know, she is the eldest daughter of Vanessa Redgrave; her sister Joely Richardson is also an actress, best known for Nip/Tuck. Natasha Richardson has been in A Month in the Country, Nell, The Parent Trap and Maid in Manhattan. [Yahoo News via AP]
• DJ AM is seeking $10 million in medical costs, lost earnings and damages, plus $10 million for mental and physical pain after the September plane crash in which he and Travis Barker were the only survivors. [People]
• Psychiatrist Khristine Eroshevich turned herself in to police Monday, facing charges of excessively prescribing drugs to Anna Nicole Smith. she's out on bail. [AP]
• Fox's Roger Friedman on Julia Roberts: "She was rude, downright nasty, and dismissive. She snubbed me in front of other people to make her point… Her behavior was unexpected and chilling." Apparently she knows Friedman as "the man who writes bad things about me." [Fox 411 ]
• Mickey Rourke is in a Russian prison… Doing research for his Iron Man role. [Daily Mail]
• If you didn't get a chance to audition for ANTM because of the stampede in NYC on Saturday, don't fret! Tyra says: "We are doing everything we can to make sure that ALL the girls who weren't seen get an opportunity to audition — we'll update you on our plans very soon." Sorta hoping they call it America's Next Top Model Who Can't Reach The Top Shelf. [US Magazine]
• Amy Winehouse is planning a "heart-to-heart" with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. Her dad says: "I want her to get divorced." Tell us how you really feel! [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse's dad also says: "Amy wants to resolve the situation. She's guilty of loving him, stupid girl." That's her own father, calling her stupid. [The Sun]
• Since Amy Winehouse has visa issues which ban her from coming to the U.S., she is headed back to the Caribbean. She'll headline the 18th Annual St. Lucia Jazz festival in May. The Minister of Tourism is thrilled and says "She's welcome to stay as long as she wants to." [Yahoo News via E!]
• But uh, Amy Winehouse is still facing an assault charge from back in September, so she needs to deal with that first. [Mirror]
• The Daily (Hate) Mail has printed pictures of Jesus Luz's ex-girlfriends and pointed out that they are "younger and prettier" than Madonna. Rude! [Daily Mail]
• By the by, Guy Ritchie had dinner with Elle Macpherson. [Daily Mail]
• Here is a photograph of Prince William helping out in a kitchen at a homeless charity, "following in his mother's footsteps." He looks genuinely happy. [Daily Mail]
• Clive Owen was asked who would win in a battle of wits: Himself or Julia Roberts? "She would, because she's very smart," he said. She agreed: "I would. It's just me," Julia said. "I have my tricks." [USA Today]
• There's a naked Lithuanian model on top of Zac Efron in the new Interview magazine, FYI. Zac and the young lady rolled around in dirt for the photo shoot and Zac says, without irony: "I got pretty dirty by the end of it, so that was fun. It was definitely different from anything I had ever done before." [Just Jared]
• Cops are going to interview Calum Best after a woman claims she was raped by his friend while he slept just a few feet away. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger directed two music videos before his death; one for Modest Mouse and one for Grace Woodroofe. Both will be released this year. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Steve-O is the latest contestant to be injured on Dancing With The Stars. Does the show pay medical bills? [UPI]
• Portia de Rossi is still not pregnant, and not trying, despite what the weeklies are saying. [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen tricked the Alabama National Guard into giving him a military uniform and letting him train — possibly for a scene for Bruno. A young cadet recognized him — maybe when he exposed his thong while changing — and alerted superiors. A staff sergeant is calling the incident an "embarrassment," but it sound like a security risk. [AP]
• Carson Daly's girlfriend Siri Pinter has given birth to their son, Jackson James Daly. [UPI]
• Guy Ritchie will direct a remake of The Wild Geese, "with a budget that will buy him some real star names." The original flick had Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Roger Moore; who will be the new trio? [Telegraph]
• Will Matt Damon be Jason Bourne again? Signs point to yes. [Guardian]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are both playing spies, but in different films. [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt's film company, Plan B, is producing a flick based on John Le Carré's book The Night Manager. [Variety]
• Alex Rodriguez is seen kissing himself in a mirror in the new issue of Details. [NY Post]
• Jon Stewart's brother — who is head of US Markets & Global Technology at NYSE Euronext — helped him kick Jim Cramer's ass. [Page Six]
• No one is watching Kings or Celebrity Apprentice. [AdAge]
• Creators of Family Guy won a lawsuit which made it okay to turn the song "When You Wish Upon A Star into "I Need A Jew." [Reuters]
• It's tough to believe that villagers are living in fear of Pete Doherty moving to their town, but that is the headline here. [The Sun]
• There seem to be "two strapping young lads locking lips" on the cover of Bob Dylan's new album. This paper calls the photo "controversial." A commenter writes, "ha ha ha whats the issue?" [The Sun]
• Speaking of Bob Dylan, "Malibu residents say wind-borne odors from a portable toilet at the singer's compound are making them ill." [LA Times]
• Tons of Elvis stuff has gone up in an online auction — bids as low as ten bucks! [Reuters]
• "Tori is my daughter, and I love her. I wish her all the best with the publication of her new book… I never read her first one because my friends and family advised me against it. They said it would hurt my feelings, so I decided to pass. I won't read her new one either." — Candy Spelling, who moved the publication date of her book up two weeks so that it wouldn't hit stores on the same date as Tori's new book. [Us Magazine]
• "She's a little dictator. Definitely the most colorful person I've ever met. I feel so connected to her, but at the same time, we are completely different. I discover something new about her every day." — Salma Hayek, on her daughter, Valentina. [Mirror]
• "It's so sad that there's such an invasion of privacy, with camera people, cops and paparazzi outside their home. I mean, when have you not thrown something when you're mad? Everyone has to admit that at one time in their life, they've gotten so mad that they've thrown something, but maybe not necessarily breaking a window. Can't people have an argument without everyone watching? Just because she had an argument, I don't think it means that she's off track and that everything is crazy. It's really just messed up that everyone blames her. I think everyone needs to let her breathe." — Kim Kardashian on Lindsay Lohan. [People]