• Lily Allen has spoken about her miscarriage, which she describes as "the worst time of my life." She says:

"I couldn't even compute the emotions going through my head, but I was having to put out a press release about my miscarriage... I had this public sympathy for about five days and then everyone was on my case again and I didn't know what was happening to me… I just didn't deal with it at all. I didn't even start beginning to deal with it until the baby's due date. Then it just hit me like a house collapsing. I have therapy on and off but at that time it really helped me. Then I started to deal with it and move on. I still get sad. I still think. I don't mark (what would have been) my baby's birth but it's always there. […] I've had really bad, unbelievably awful times, but if I hadn't had them I wouldn't get the happiness I've got now. I'm very grateful because I could have turned down a very different path. It could have been awful. It really could." [Mirror]

• Meanwhile, Lily Allen wants to stay with her boyfriend, Sam Cooper, "forever." She says: "We've never had one argument and there's absolutely nothing about him that annoys me. He's not impressed by what I do. I've been with guys and seen them looking in the mirror before they walk out of the door with me. That makes me feel sick because I know it's not just me they're interested in." [Mirror]
• Britney Spears doing "The Year In BS" is brilliant. Brilliant! [NY Mag]
• "K-Fed Loses Weight, Gains Movie Role." And by movie, we mean straight-to-DVD teen sex comedy. [Radar Online]
• Sarah Jessica Parker on her Sex And The City castmates: "We love each other. Could we spend more time together? If that existed in our lives, absolutely. Do I see Cynthia Nixon as much as I want to? Never. Kristin Davis or Kim Cattrall? Never. It's just not the way our lives work. I don't see my best friends as much as I want to. But it doesn't mean that there is any less affection." [Mirror]
• The Sex And The City ladies will be on the cover (covers) of Marie Claire — each posing separately, not together. [Gatecrasher]
• Jude Law's assistant, Ben Jackson, and Rachel McAdams: Something's up. [Gatecrasher]
• Reading the exchanges between Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin in this interview, it's obvious that they have a zingy kind of chemistry that will be fun when they host the Oscars. Alec calls it "a kind of Hannity & Colmes antagonism." [USA Today]
• Brittany Murphy's husband spoke with Access Hollywood on Monday. "My world was destroyed yesterday," he said. "I loved what Ashton [Kutcher] wrote on Twitter. It was comforting to me… I couldn't have said it better." He described what happened when Brittany was found and denied that she was surrounded by bad influences: "I don't know why anyone would think that. She found love. We found love. Brittany didn't get to where Brittany was with anyone controlling her… Brittany was Brittany." [Access Hollywood, People]
• Brittany Murphy's cause of death will not be known until toxicology results come back, which could take two months. [TMZ]
• At the link, a list of the prescription drugs found at Brittany Murphy's home — including Klonopin, Ativan, and Propranolol, taken for hypertension and used to prevent heart attacks. No illegal drugs were found. [TMZ]
• This paper calls the meds at Brittany Murphy's house "a staggering trove of powerful prescriptions." [NY Daily News]
• "Family Friend Of Brittany Murphy Says Husband Simon Monjack Is 'Not Good.'" [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Adrian Grenier banged his drum. [Page Six]
• Apparently there was a rumor that Katy Perry hooked up with Robert Pattinson; she tweeted: "Read a bunch of yesterdays-news — BULLOCKS. Ppl should know by now that I don't do vampires, but I do, DO @rustyrockets [Russell Brand]. Don't get it TWISTED!" [Us]
• Jon Gosselin tried to sell his car at a used car lot but couldn't get as much as he wanted. [TMZ]
• Reading about whether nude pictures of Tiger Woods do or do not exist makes my eyes glaze over. [Radar Online]
• This magazine swears that Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel have been having sex "since the scandal broke" and that her condo is 500 feet from where Tiger's boat was docked. [In Touch]
• Simon Cowell's brother, radio host Tony Cowell, says Simon will leave American Idol at the end of the next season. He'll be concentrating on bringing X Factor to the US. [NY Post]
• Kim Kardashian lies on a bed and seductively eats salad for her new Carl's Jr. commercial, which made my eyes roll so far back in my head they almost got stuck. [E!]
• In The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, there's a scene in which the character played by Johnny Depp — standing in for Heath Ledger — sees a stream full of floating images of people who died prematurely in their prime: James Dean, Princess Diana, Rudolph Valentino. And he talks about their godlike status as the forever young. "It's very weird," director Terry Gilliam says. "We didn't change anything, and I wasn't going to change anything. We had to deal with certain things just to get through it. But the dialogue wasn't going to change if possible. That was the film Heath and I were making, and that's the film we finished." [USA Today]
• Terry Gilliam, Johnny Depp and Robert Duvall are trying to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixote happen. At last. [UPI]
• Aw, it's super cute that Lisa Loeb has an eyewear collection. "Think sexy librarian, not retro grandma," she says. [People]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Jerry "Turtle" Ferrara: Splitsville. [Gatecrasher]
• Funny interview with Amy Poehler and Christina Applegate, who voice "Chipettes" in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. Here's a snippet:
  Q: Any similarities between you and your Chipmunk selves?
  Amy: I want to be a star! (laughter) Well, Christina is a good leader. She's a good front person and she's an excellent singer and dancer in real life.
  Christina: Thank you for answering that question.
  Amy: You're welcome. I would say that I am like Eleanor in that I'm the shortest. And like Eleanor, I do not enjoy wearing high heels. I don't walk very well in them. But Christina and I look like we could have a bit of Chipmunk in our DNA.
  Christina: I have really hairy arms.
  Amy: And we both sleep all winter (laughter). [Reuters]
• Get your Kleenex: Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole have broken up. [Us]
• Bruce Willis is investing in Belvedere vodka. I am open to sponsorship by Bonbay Sapphire gin or any cheapo white zinfandel. What. [WSJ]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood dumped his girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova because she was cheating on him with a male model. As you may recall, Ronnie left his wife of 23 years when he met Ekaterina. [Daily Mail]
• Carrie Underwood is spoken for, as they say. This column notes that she wore "an eye-catching ring" at a hockey game on Monday night. [AP]
• Taylor Swift will perform and present at the Grammys. Obvs. [People]
• Beyoncé will perform at the Grammys. [ET]
• And Beyoncé's noodles are adorable. [WoW]
• Diane Sawyer started working the desk of the evening news on ABC now that Charles Gibson has retired. Did anyone watch? [AP]
• The Venice Film Festival has honored John Woo with a lifetime achievement award. Because those doves in Face/Off were genius! [AP]
• What's Christmas like at 50 Cent's house? He plays Santa Claus, buying presents… But he doesn't dress up as Santa. He also recommends that the reporter buy his wife underwear for Christmas. [Dazed Digital]
• Kristen Johnston will return to Ugly Betty, playing a aging party-girl and temp in a part originally written for Paula Abdul. "It was all, like, hot-flash jokes," says Johnston. "So I rewrote it." [NY Mag]
• Kim Peek, the man who inspired the Oscar-winning film Rain Man, has died. [AP]
• RIP Connie Hines, who played Carol Post on Mister Ed. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which lady who recently filed for divorce is trying to lure her husband to a Christmas reunion? Friends suspect she hopes to generate footage for a reality show." [Page Six]
• "While it was great that we were the 'First Couple' of porn, the fact is Tera hates the industry. She's not a sexual person. We barely had sex in our own marriage. She's desperate to break into the mainstream, and just wants to generate press. I didn't choose porn over her. Our marriage had a lot of holes in it, despite what she claims. I chose freedom." — Evan Seinfeld, Tera Patrick's ex-husband. [Page Six]
• "I've given up the Internet. I don't read comments, and I don't go on any of the sites anymore, and I just feel better. And it's not about being a celebrity - you get on MySpace, Facebook, there's all these different outlets where people can just feel like nobody's watching them so they can just say whatever they want to say… It gets dangerous sometimes." — Disney star Selena Gomez, to Seventeen. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've got to tell you. My disposition lies in rather populist entertainment. I'm not prejudiced in whether a film is low-budget, independent, or studio-oriented. I suppose the only thing I care about is whether you get some feeling, some sense of integrity from what it is you do. As long as that's not compromised extensively, then I think why should you care about where it comes from?" — Guy Ritchie on his big-budget film, Sherlock Holmes. [The Daily Beast]
• "If you ask me, I think she's all right. I think she's perfectly good. I just don't think people can get her persona out of the way." — Guy Ritchie on Madonna's acting. [The Daily Beast]
• "Yes, at this age it's unusual for somebody to do a love scene, to be making love… Yeah, that is unusual. But that is just how benighted we are. Because, you know, we still are alive. … It's authentic. The whole idea that you have to look a certain way and be a certain age to earn love is ridiculous." — It's Complicated star Meryl Streep, to the Times Of London. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I don't believe in having work done, because then everybody looks the same. [But] I should exercise more. Lose a couple of kilos." — Sophia Loren. [StarPulse]

"There is a place like no other," says the voiceover, which is obviously Johnny Depp, even if you hadn't seen a hundred posters or didn't know that he's in every single Tim Burton film in a futile effort to not be considered incredibly handsome. By the way, I beg to differ: the underbrush of my parents' backyard looks a lot like this. Minus Puggsley Addams.


"Some say to survive it...you need to be as mad as a hatter!" No, actually, no one says that. Certainly not Lewis Carroll. That said, the Cheshire Cat face looks awesome.


"...which luckily, I am!" Heeeere's Johnny! With full-on smokey eye.


Alice, by the way, looks super disheveled and underdressed. No pinafores here!


This is just really cute.


This surly, Scottish March Hare gives me hope that the film preserves some of the story's just inherent, British weirdness.


Helena Bonham Carter's Red Queen is the apex of the continued quest to make a stunning woman grotesque that seems to be the goal of her ongoing collaboration with Burton. (That and their kids, that is.)


At this point, it appears to become an action movie. We hear the Mad Hatter say intensely, "help us make the world right again!" Seriously? I really think he just wanted to entertain some little girls on whom he may or may not have had a really unnatural fixation.


The battle scenes look intense.


And Anne Hathaway looks like Draco Malfoy's father and talks like Galadriel.


Also? I don't remember the Mad Hatter going all action hero on us. But what do I know?





New Alice In Wonderland Trailer Revels In Red Queen's Villainy [Wired]

• Lindsay Lohan has returned from India!

While there, she visited the Sanlaap women's and children's shelter outside Calcutta. She spent about 3 hours with people there, and watched dance performances by the children. With her was a four-person camera crew from the BBC, and, at one point, Lindsay wore a bindi. Of course. [People]

• If you have $300, you can buy a "Marc Jacob" bag from LohanHouse.com, where Lindsay and her family are selling gently used clothes, shoes, hats, bags, and "collectables." [Page Six, Lohan House]
• Chris Brown is pissed that stores are not carrying his new CD, Graffiti. He wrote on his Twitter: "im tired of this shit. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the fuck do i gotta do... WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit. im not biting my tongue about shit else... the industry can kiss my ass." He said of a Walmart in Connecticut: "They didn't even have my album in the back… not on shelves, saw for myself. the manager told me that when there are new releases its mandatory to put em on the shelves.. BUT NO SIGN OF GRAFFITI." [MSNBC Scoop, Twitter, Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• Lily Allen may have smoked a cigarette during a concert last week; and if the Liverpool City Council can prove she was smoking, she and the venue could be fined. The council is asking "witnesse" to rat Lily out. [BBC News]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: "In love" and moving in together in the new year. As you may recall, their romance began on the set of Alfie; then Jude cheated on her with his children's nanny. Forgive but not forget? [The Sun]
• Playgirl has turned down alleged nude photos of Tiger Woods — apparently taken by Tiger himself. The magazine's spokesperson Daniel Nardicio says: "They were impossible to 100 percent verify, hence the unwillingness to go there." [People]
• Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, is not in Sweden, despite some reports. She is in the guest house, which, while large, is not another country. [TMZ]
• Consulting firm Accenture is the first corporate sponsor to officially drop Tiger Woods. [NY Post]
• Tiger Woods' wife will reportedly dump him after Christmas and is talking to a divorce lawyer. As for Tiger, he is seeing a therapist. Allegedly. [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Elin Nordegren wants a trial separation. but that Tiger Woods wants to take a cruise on his yacht with her and convince her to stay with him and have another baby. (?1?!) [NY Post]
• Here, Cori Rist, who hooked up with Tiger Woods, is called a "spectacular escort." [Rush & Molloy]
• According to this report: Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel are both in Palm Beach, Florida. But he's on his yacht; she's with her family. [TMZ]
• "Tiger Woods Cheated As Dad Died. Star Bedded Jamie Jungers As Father Lay Dying In Hospital." [Radar Online]
• Gerald Posner reports that Tiger Woods had a "separate team handle his trysts," and that Rachel Uchitel could be getting $5 million to stay quiet. [The Daily Beast]
• A source says Uma Thurman's ex-fiancé was too controlling: "It seemed like he always wanted to run the show… He wanted to bring in his own chef and his own security. He'd talk about redesigning her house in the city and knocking down buildings at her place upstate." [Rush & Molloy]
• Russell Brand was seen spotted shopping for diamonds at Cartier, fueling speculation he's going to ask Katy Perry to marry him. [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William a "shadow King"? [NY Daily News]
• Jay-Z is well-loved by his Rocawear employees, whose Christmas gift to him was a video spoof of his hit single, "Empire State of Mind." [Page Six]
• Behold: Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper in the 2010 MAC Viva Glam ad campaign, shot by Ellen von Unwerth. [The Life Files]
• Susan Boyle says he life hasn't changed that much: "I have everything I had before – it's just a little more interesting now." She hasn't really splurged on too much: She bought "a red couch and some cushions." And, she says: "To anyone who has a dream I say follow that dream. You are never too old. It is never too late. And dreams can become a reality." [People]
• What do we think of Carey Hart's Day-of-the-Dead-style tattoo of Pink? [The Life Files]
• Guy Ritchie is thinking of opening a branch of his London pub, the Punch Bowl, in New York. [Daily Express]
• Sad face: Grizz from 30 Rock is suffering from severe hypertension and has to be on a dialysis machine three times a week. He's on the waiting list for a kidney transplant, but need to lose 75 pounds before he's considered a viable candidate. And the wait is 5 years. He talks about all this on Dr. Oz's show on Tuesday. [NY Daily News]
• The Los Angeles Film Critics Association and the Boston Society of Film Critics agree: Mo'Nique's performance in Precious and Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker were some of the best moments in film this year. [People]
• Lots of Kerry Washington's favorite places in New York are food-related. [NY Post]
• Candy Spelling, a panelist on E!'s new series, Bank of Hollywood — produced by Ryan Seacrest — says: "I don't have to work. I'm not putting up my own money! We all contributed our salaries, but I wasn't going to pay [the contestants] to be on TV… I love giving of my time and money — I'm very charitable and sit on three nonprofit boards and two city boards as commissioner — but… then I would just be donating money and leaving it up to the contestants as to how it's spent. We all felt a strong responsibility about how they would spend the money." Yeah, I don't know either, but it sounds snotty. [NY Post]
• Sarah Ferguson, ex-Duchess Of York, says she's going to start a historical novel, starring an aristocratic redhead and set in the eighteenth century, "sort of like Pride and Prejudice meets 24. It's actually me putting myself in the eighteenth century… I can just imagine how it would be, and I have such fun!" [New York Magazine]
• Groan: Spencer Pratt now owns a music company, King Spencer Music. Be afraid. [TMZ]
• Entourage's Kevin Connolly says he thinks Rex Lee didn't really mean it when he said he was made fun of on the set because of his ethnicity and sexuality. Pardon? [TMZ]
• At the link, an obituary for Natasha Richardson by Ralph Fiennes. [Guardian]
• Add Kid Rock and Dave Grohl to the list of musicians suing bars for playing unlicensed music. [TMZ]
• LOL: 21-year-old Ekaterina Ivanova is calling ex-boyfriend, 65-year-old Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, an "evil goblin." [Telegraph]
• CSI Miami's Jonathan Togo was arrested Friday for allegedly getting violent in a fight with his girlfriend; he was booked for felony domestic violence. [TMZ]
• A year after being rejected on TV, Bachelor contestant Melissa Rycroft got married. But not to a guy from TV. [Us Magazine]
• "Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood Celebrate Anniversary at McDonald's." [People]
• The Princess And The Frog was number one at the box office with a modest $25 million. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Bentley Meeker is a celebrity lighting guru and you are not. [Page Six]
• "I don't want to talk about him, except that I like him… I think everyone needs an adventure buddy." — Holly Madison on Benji Madden. [People]
• "Whenever anybody say they are going to give me some kind of award, I'm always a little stupefied by the notion. The first thing I say is 'why?' I just go to work like anyone else, except my job happens to be a little stranger." — Johnny Depp, when receiving a career achievement award at the Bahamas International Film Festival. [AP]
• "It makes certain cities impossible to live in. Like Sydney, it makes it impossible for us to live there… We certainly don't get that treatment in Tennessee. But it goes with the territory. It's just, we have to be careful, just to maintain some sort of semblance of a normal life for our child." — Nicole Kidman says attention from photographers is the reason she won't live in Sydney. [News.com.au]
• "I don't have a personal vendetta against Nicole Kidman… These are Machiavellian games that are being played and they are just not right. If she doesn't want to be photographed she should change her profession and become a butcher." — Paparazzo Jamie Fawcett, whom Nicole Kidman has requested a restraining order against and also took to court for placing a listening bug outside her home and following her in his car. [News.com.au]
• "Breaking up the band was a mistake because I think it broke trust with the audience. You had an audience that was very invested in that idea - whether they were invested in the people or the idea or the songs, I don't know. Like a relationship that you break off from and then try to pick back up, it's never quite the same. It doesn't mean it can't be as good, but it has to be different. That beautiful original feeling got lost in the interim of being away. If we had said, 'We just went away for seven years,' it would have been similar, but somehow breaking up, there's a violence to it." — Billy Corgan, on the Smashing Pumpkins. [WENN via Spinner]
• "If I didn't act, I'd be a nutcase. Some people have to do it. They have a lot of emotion they have to get out." — Rachel Weisz, who's in The Lovely Bones. [News.com.au]
• "My body is falling apart. The only way that I could do it is if I played a character who gets shot in the left leg and the right shoulder in the opening scene." — Kenny Rogers says he is too "decrepit" to be in Christmas In Canaan, the movie based on the book he wrote. [Daily Express]
• "Sometimes when I watch the show back I think we've gone too far because I see the pre-story beforehand, I can then see the audition from their perspective and there are times where I think I could have handled that better or I was in a bad mood and I was too rude. At the same time... no-one is sort of dragged kicking and screaming onto the audition set." — Simon Cowell. [BBC News]
• "A journalist went up to my  husband once and said 'did you know that dating anyone more than three years younger than you is considered pedophilia?' [Peter shot back] 'Really? My wife is seven years younger.'" — Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Gatecrasher]
• "Angry African-American women, you know, thought that it would be the image that people would associate with them. Virginiaca is definitely art imitating life, but I understand where they're coming from, and I don't have to project that onto mainstream America. What's funny is funny. This place is well known for getting angry letters — Lorne keeps 50 of them outside his office. It keeps you grounded in the fact that in late-night comedy, you're going to have to burn somebody." — Kenan Thompson. [New York Magazine]
• "I say 'Be Italian' many times in the song, but it was important to me that every time I say it, it have a different meaning, because there are so many different things about being Italian. There's love of life and food and sex and drink. There's love of dancing, love of singing. So it was putting all that into it." — Fergie, on her song in Nine. [NY Post]
• "The negative stuff is crazy and the positive stuff is crazy… I actually see all the discussion and controversy and, you know, 'Is it Smurfs and Dances With Wolves in space?' and all this crap, as good. It fuels interest. All those people that go online and repeatedly dismiss the movie day after day, I know they're going to be there watching it." — James Cameron on Avatar. [NY Post]
• "I think every little girl should be able to feel themselves the princess. I think every little girl is worthy of having a princely young man, and vice versa. It's really thrilling that Zahara will never have a moment where she didn't see herself in that light. She's Ethiopian. She comes from kings and queens. She should certainly know herself as a princess." — The Princess And The Frog's Anika Noni Rose, responding to Angelina Jolie's claim that she's ecstatic that daughter Zahara has a role model. [Ok!]
• "I'm working out again. I'm going to make the sequel to 300. My pecs will be glistening. I'll have a codpiece. I'm going to blow your mind." — Alec Baldwin. [Rush & Molloy]

[Tokyo, December 8. Image via Splash.]

• Marilyn Manson revealed in an interview that he and Evan Rachel Wood are back together. Evan — When a guy violently beats and murders your look-alike in a music video, that's a deal breaker.

• In an interview with the music site Metal Hammer, Manson volunteered: "I'm not afraid to be me... Sometimes you feel awkward being what you're best at, you feel like you have to be something new. But I think that a lot of people will agree that me being me at my best [is what] I need to be. I think that that really paid off because I'm back with Evan, that's kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that." ? [Metal Hammer]
• Rachel Uchitel, who initially denied that she had an affair with Tiger Woods, announced that she was holding a press conference today to "make a statement about [her] relationship with Tiger Woods," but then cancelled it at the last minute due to what her lawyer called "unforeseen circumstances." [Extra]
• Rachel Uchitel canceled the press conference after a night of phone calls between her team and Tiger Woods' representatives. Uchitel reportedly has hundreds of messages from their five-month relationship. [Radar Online]
• Some sources say Tiger Woods offered Rachel Uchitel money for her silence, but TMZ says "we have no knowledge one way or the other." [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' childhood friend, who is now the president of Tiger Woods Design, bought a plane ticket for Rachel Uchitel to go to Australia last month for a rendez-vous with Tiger. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs says that during one of her encounters with Tiger Woods he "told me he had done a workout and he was going to do another workout for legs... I said, 'For someone who works out a lot, you sure have small calves!' I remember him giving me the biggest death look. He told me he was very insecure about the size of his calves. He said, 'I can't grow calves.' And I was like, 'Okay, sorry!'" [Us]
• According to new audio tapes released by the Florida Highway Patrol, Tiger Woods was snoring when his neighbor, Jarius Lavar Adams, approached him after his car accident last week. Adams said Woods was bleeding a little from his lower lip but did not smell of booze. [TMZ]
• Another woman has come forward claiming she had an affair with Tiger Woods, bring the grand total to four. "Jenny" called the Bubba The Love Sponge radio show and claimed that she's been seeing him on and off for a year and can prove it because he has an identifiable mole on his left butt cheek. [Perez Hilton]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood was arrested in London last night on suspicion of assaulting his 21-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova and released on bail. His rep says: "I can confirm that there was an incident last night and that Ronnie Wood was arrested ... we have no further statement to make at this time." [TMZ]
• Ronnie Wood's 23-year marriage to Jo Wood collapsed after he began dating Ivanova. Their divorce was finalized last month. [AP]
• Sources say Ronnie Wood slapped Ekaterina Ivanova to the ground, then pulled her hair outside a restaurant at 11:30 pm and a restaurant worker called the police. An eyewitness says: "I think they were arguing about her not wanting to go home. He hit her and she was screaming that she didn't want to go with him." [The Mirror]
• It looks like Gwyneth Paltrow will sing again in her new film. She's playing a fallen country-western singer in the new film Love Don't Let Me Down, which is being produced by Tobey Maguire and also stars Tim McGraw and Leighton Meester. [Perez HIlton]
• Johnny Depp is in talks to star as Pancho Villa in the biopic Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Six Fingers. [Variety]
• Roman Polanski has been moved from jail to an undisclosed location for "security reasons and personal protection" according to Swiss officials, but is still expected to be taken to his chalet in Gstaad tomorrow. [AP]
• A judge has dismissed Jordan's Scott's copyright infringement claim against Stephenie Meyer because he says Breaking Dawn and Scott's 2006 vampire novel The Nocturne have little in common and the "characters in the two works are vastly different." [Publishers Weekly]
• Hayden Panettierre, who is 20, was spotted carrying a case of Coors Light into her friend's house. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez says she has a "bruised bone" from slipping during her performance at the AMAs. She told Ellen DeGeneres, "What happened was one of the dancers' backs was slippery from sweat and lights and everything. We never bargained for that because they always had T-shirts on in rehearsal. So they were barebacked, didn't have shirts on for the performance, and when I stepped on their backs my feet got wet. So when I landed. it just slipped from under me." [People]
• Nas was arrested for DUI near his home in Georgia in September. [TMZ]
• Nas' DUI case was dismissed because there wasn't enough evidence. Though he admitted to the police that he'd been smoking pot, the drug test "came back negative for drugs, including marijuana." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen wrote on her blog, "I've had laryngitis and bronchitis for about two months and I've just been doing so many gigs and just not resting. I have been to an ear, nose, and throat specialist a few times and they stuck a big camera down my throat. It's not very nice." [Daily Star]
• The National Board of Review's 2009 awards were announced today. Up In The Air was named Best Film, Clint Eastwood won Best Director for Invictus. Precious was not on their list of the year's 10 best films. [The Wrap]
• Julianne Hough may be dating Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill. An eyewitness reports from a bar in Nashville: "They were very affectionate, just hanging out at the table. They stayed for about an hour and enjoyed karaoke. None of them sang, but they just hung with their group. Only a few people noticed she was even there. They didn't make a spectacle of it." [Perez Hilton]
• Mark Wahlberg says there are two seasons left of Entourage on HBO then, "We'll see, there could be more. But then, a movie." [Showbiz 411]
• MTV renewed The Hills for a sixth season... but is anyone still watching? [Perez Hilton]
• Will Smith has put production of Hancock 2 on hold to "spend more time with his family." [Perez Hilton]
• GLAAD released a statement supporting ABC's decision to ban Adam Lambert from Jimmy Kimmel Live and the network's New Year's Eve special. GLAAD says Lambert's performance at the AMA differed "greatly" from rehearsals and "It would appear that the kiss between Adam Lambert and his keyboardist did not factor into ABC's decision ... ABC has a history of positive gay and transgender inclusion that includes featuring kisses between gay and lesbian couples on-air." [TMZ]
• Mick Hucknall of Simply Red is suing his neighbor over the rights to hunt deer, ducks and other birds at their rival game lodges in Ireland. [AP]
• Cynthia Nixon said of the failure of the New York senate to pass a marriage equity bill, "The fight for justice is always long and hard, and while this vote was of course extremely disappointing, we now know with certainty who our friends are and who our enemies are. And, trust me, we won't forget it at election time. It's really a terrible shame that many of our legislators could not bring themselves to support a simple matter of fairness and equality, and have betrayed the majority of New Yorkers who believe same-sex marriage should be legalized." [Advocate]
• Penelope Cruz says, "The musical number [in Nine] had to be sexy... and thinking about the Pink Panther would help get me in the mood ... When I was climbing the ropes to the ceiling, all I could think about was the Pink Panther." [People]
• Penelope Cruz says her relationship with Pedro Almodóvar, with whom she has made four films, has "been growing and evolving gradually. Right now, we get to the set, we look at each other, and I know if he slept the night before, if he's in a bad mood or in a good mood. He is the same with me-he looks at me and he knows what I am thinking. So that makes it easier. But at the same time, he's a very big presence, so I don't get less nervous when I'm working with him now because we are friends-I get maybe even more nervous because I'm always worried about disappointing him." [Interview Magazine]
• Peter Jackson says of his new film The Lovely Bones getting mixed reviews, "The film is a film that we're very proud of, and it's not a film that everyone likes, but I don't know what film is. You know, there's no such thing as perfection; you can't make a film that everybody in the world is going to like, so it just represents their view. The film is about a teenage girl - in some respects, we made it for teenagers." [N.Y. Magazine]

Ok!
"Oops, I Did It Again!"
Justin Trawick was tucking in Britney's boys when Sean blurted out, "Good night, daddy!" Britney's heart "simply melted," says a source. It was then that she realized how good a father and husband he would be! Britney wants a "real" wedding this time — the white dress and the wedding cake — but she doesn't want it to be a spectacle, says a "friend." The mag says Britney and Jason will wed on the beach in Costa Rica, Hawaii, Mexico or Australia, which really narrows it down! Brit will fly in 200 guests, including Madonna, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Also, Britney is hoping "Jason can give her something else she's never had: A baby girl." Next: A source says that Jennifer Aniston will only date guys who are approved by her close friends, and she has rules: He has to be over 40, never married, no children, not a player, not a musician and not an actor. Producers are ok, as are writers and directors. But he has to be financially stable and emotionally stable. Finally: Robert Pattinson has a Christmas "surprise" for Kristen Stewart: He's planning a secret getaway to a cottage in the English countryside; then they'll spend Christmas in London with his parents.
Grade: F (stress fracture)

In Touch
"Katie Moves Out."
Katie's been telling Tom that she needs her space, but he keeps showing up to the set of The Romantics on Long Island. They had a fight in her trailer, and she said she's had it with his domineering ways and can no longer relate to his movie-star lifestyle. (?!?!) She's decided to stay in New York alone after the movie wraps. Tom was furious — they'd talked about purchasing a home in NY but Tom had never considered the idea of Katie living there alone. Katie's "embracing" their differences by shopping at the Gap instead of the designer boutiques her husband prefers — and hanging out with her parents, who don't like Tom. Two awesomely ridiculous sidebars: "Does Katie Have The Dawson's Creek Love Curse?" and "Tom's Exes Have Broken Free." (See image 7.) Moving on: "Celebrity Cellulite Wars" alleges that Rihanna and Beyoncé are "constantly pitted against each other." Now Beyoncé is "getting her revenge" because Rihanna "has embarrassing cellulite" while Beyoncé is "smooth and sexy." The copy declares: "Rihanna was spotted with lumpy thighs. It's been a rough year all around." Angelina Jolie is "ruining the holidays" by informing Brad that she plans on taking their six children to Vietnam. The accompanying caption reads, "No yams in Ho Chi Min city." Sob! Angie says she won't go to Brad's parents' house in Missouri because they don't get along. Brad's mom is "always telling Angie that the kids should be in school, and have a routine, and that they look messy." Also, when he's with his parents, Brad gets lazy — he lets them take care of the kids and "just sits around drinking beer." Brad and Angie had a fight about all this stuff, so he packed his bags and headed for the chateau in France, but as soon as he got there, Angie called and begged him to come home, "confused and trapped in a dysfunctional cycle of fighting viciously and making up, he agreed," an insider says. Next: A two-page story breaks down John Mayer's lyrics from his new album to illustrate how he's dissing Jessica and Jen. The song "Half Of My Heart" is about how John only loved Jessica with half of his heart — the part that liked her hot body! In Nicole Richie news, she has pneumonia, but hasn't been feeling great since she gave birth to Sparrow, is having a tough time handling two kids, fainted once and is too thin. "Their Real Bodies Revealed" features the freaky physical problems of the stars: Megan's "clubbed" thumbs! Denzel Washington's crooked pinky! Etc. (See image 8.) Finally, the best part of this magazine was a picture of Willow, an English terrier mix, reading My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem, a book by the rapper's mother. (See image 9.)
Grade: D- (plantar fasciitis)

Us
"Stuck On Mr. Wrong."
So basically Jennifer Aniston "can't let go" of John Mayer — there's something about him she can't resist. But John is "still in love with" Jessica Simpson. "He can't get over her — all of his friends don't get it." This despite the fact that John used to make fun of Jess — putting the phone down when she'd call and walking away while she rambled. When it comes to the ladies, John has system: "He charms them for weeks over e-mail, impresses with his intellect, and seals the deal with his prowess in bed." Jessica loved how John would educate her about music and life, and would listen like love-struck schoolgirl." Moving right along: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were at dinner party, when Tom turned to Katie and asked, "Where did you go to college? You went to Columbia, right?" Katie had to say: "I got into Columbia but I never went." Awkward! Ashlee Simpson spent over $20,00 on Pete Wentz's credit card and acted like it was nothing; "he's over it." Robert Pattinson has "secret demons" — Margaret thought he maybe killed a man or something, but no: "He's so unhappy," a source says. "He's grateful for the success, but it'd be great if he could just walk away from it all now. He feels completely trapped!" Lastly: Celebrities with shaggy bangs are clearly inspired by canines. (See image 10.)
Grade: D- (bunions)

Star
"48 Best And Worst Holiday Beach Bodies"
What's the difference between a regular beach body and a holiday beach body? Guess Star is hoping Americans waiting in airports and train stations this weekend want to know. There are 17 pages of male and female celebrities in swimwear. FYI: America Ferrera has "killer curves" and Jennifer Lopez has a "big red caboose." Kelly Bensimon has "patches of crepey skin" and Ryan Seacrest has a "jelly belly." Moving on: Joanna Krupa changed her implants, says a plastic surgeon who doesn't treat her (See image 11.) Taylor Lautner gave Taylor Swift a $200 sterling silver heart "commitment" ring from Tiffany. Blind item! "Which sexy celebrity chef was overheard bragging loudly about her fling with a famous singer? The crooner's known for lovin' and leavin', but she has a clueless husband. Burn!" Snoop Dogg almost didn't ring the bell at the NYSE — he slept through his alarm! Britney's kids drew all over the walls of her home, causing thousands of dollars in damage, but instead of teaching them to draw on paper, she put up plain wallpaper and let them go at it, because she wants them to explore their creativity. "Inside Jen & John's Twisted Romance" alleges that Jennifer Aniston planned her trip to Cabo for the two of them — but John Mayer never showed up. In October, she flew to NYC to visit him, only to have him ignore her calls for 3 days. "She was just waiting in her hotel room," an insider says. Then she flew home broken-hearted. "One minute he'll tell her he's not feeling in, and then the same night, he'll drunk dial her, telling her she's the love of his life. He tells her they're star-crossed lovers, and their romance is like a Greek tragedy." Who gets to poke out their eyes? Once Jen found a lacy thong in his bedroom, but John said it was hers. They argued about it, a source says, and "finally she gave up and said it might actually be hers — it's as if he has the power to brainwash her." And "After he flaked out on her in Mexico, she started emailing him photos of herself in a bikini and writing stupid stuff in the subject line, like "2 good 4 u." Next: Beyoncé and Jay-Z have been "working overtime" to conceive a child but have not had any luck, and Beyoncé is heartbroken. Shauna Sand says Chace Crawford was her "teen lover." She's 14 years older and says four years ago when he was 18, they had a "steamy, sex-filled romance." He was a virgin when they met and the first night he came over, she checked his ID to make sure he was really 18. When they first started hooking up, she had to show him a thing or two, but by the end, they were having "wild" sex with whipped cream and so on. Is Tiger Woods cheating on his wife with someone named Rachel Uchitel? They met in May and have been sexting. Allegedly. Teresa Guidice from RHONJ was filming a guest spot on Mercy and could barely remember her lines and kept cursing. When someone asked if she was the housewife who flipped a table, she said: "Don't effing bring that up." Carey Mulligan's best friend Keira Knightley has become a "La Beouf-blocker." Carey told Shia that Keira warned her that he's a player, which enraged Shia, because he's really genuine. Finally: Nicole Richie is in talks to star with Joel Madden on an at-home talk show where Nicole's famous friends pop by to be interviewed by the couple. She's turned down roles because she doesn't want to be away from her kids, but this way, she'd work from home.
Grade: D (corns)

Life & Style
"It's On!"
The editors of this magazine got a draft of the script for The Tourist, a new flick that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp have signed on for. And there are sexy scenes! For instance: "The outline of her naked body is visible in the shower," the script teases. "Frank walks to the shower and opens the glass door. Walking in, he lifts Kara against the glass, clutching at her slithery body, kissing her frantically. She kisses him back with ardor, wrapping her dripping legs around his back." Since Angie has hooked up with costars before (Jenny Shimuzu, Jonny Lee Miller, Billy Bob Thornton, maybe Colin Farrell, definitely Brad Pitt), and they're both Geminis, it is clear that they MUST fuck while filming. There's a great sidebar about how Angie and Johnny have so much in common: They both love France! Their kids love Pirates! (See .) Next: Janet Jackson has talked to ABC's Robin Roberts why she gained 60 lbs: "There are people that — if there's something that's stressful, whatever it may be, they don't eat. I'm the opposite." She discusses this in her upcoming book True You, which will be released in 2010. She told Robin: "It was originally about weight loss, but I wanted it to be more about my triggers. [My emotional eating] started when I was very little. My brothers were gone on tour a lot, and I would miss them so much. I wish I had a book like this when I was that young." Moving on, Lindsay Lohan is in counseling. She goes two or three times a week, and it's not a program or substance abuse thing, or a police officer watching her. It's someone to talk to in a confidential setting. A friend says: "Her problems are all about Daddy. If Lindsay had a stable dad, none of this would be happening." And this is an actual sentence in the magazine:

"Is seeing a therapist twice a week enough? All I can say is maybe," says Marc F. Kern, an addiction specialist in Beverly Hills who doesn't treat Lindsay.

In a sidebar, we learn that Lindsay posed for pictures for an upcoming issue of the French magazine Purple in which she's topless and simulating a threesome with a male model and a female model — the guy is lying on top of her. Is it a ploy to make Sam Ronson jealous? America's Next Top Model Nicole Fox says: "If there is any opportunity for me to model — I'll take the job." Lastly: Check out these weird courtroom sketches of Nicole RIchie, Amy Winehouse and Paris Hilton. (See image 13.)
Grade: D+ (callouses)

From In Touch

From In Touch

From In Touch

From Us

From Star

From Life & Style

From Life & Style

Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

• Nicole Richie has been complaining that she doesn't feel well for days, and now she's been hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai for pneumonia. Her rep says she's "doing well."

• On Sunday she Tweeted: "ok cold, it's been 6 days. Lets part ways graciously & keep it moving." [People]
• Amy Winehouse has spent a third night in the hospital after being admitted for mixing cold medications. [People]
• Michael Barrett has been officially charged with one count of interstate stalking for allegedly filming Erin Andrews in hotels around the country. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband Ojani Noa claims he's been receiving death threats since threatening to sell the video they made during their honeymoon. "She's having him followed. We just ran the license plate of the car . . . and it goes directly back to Jennifer Lopez. Ojani's scared," says his lawyer. [N.Y. Post]
• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt reportedly got into such a bad fight this morning that the police were called. An eyewitness said Doug got in his car, but Paris screamed, "don't go, don't go." He got out of the car and they started shoving each other. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton denies that she and Doug Reinhart were fighting. She said: "Doug and I were in bed, sound asleep, when Doug's houseguests from hell got into an argument. We had nothing to do with it. Doug told the LAPD that his guests' fight was over and that we had nothing to do with it." [TMZ]
• Kate Major is planning to sue Jon Gosselin for breach of contract for violating their handwritten agreement. Kate resigned from her position at Star because, "Jon told her he would match the salary she was making at the magazine if she came to work for him as his personal employee," says a source. [Radar Online]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged extortionist, Edis Kayalar, cannot be extradited to the U.S. He turned himself in to German police on Monday, but the country doesn't have an extradition policy with the U.S. He is still facing charges because he's accused of emailing about transferring the money into a German bank account, which is against the law. [TMZ]
• The court has notified Roman Polanski's lawyers that a request has been made to allow TV coverage of his bail hearing on December 10. A judge hasn't decided if the cameras will be allowed or not. [N.Y.T.]
• Sarah Palin invited Levi Johnston to her house for Thanksgiving dinner on Oprah but he won't be attending. He told Playgirl it's "a nice gesture, but she didn't mean it." He said having dinner with the Palins would be "awkward." [People]
• The Sarah Palin interview gave Oprah Winfrey her biggest audience in two years. [Politico]
• We thought everyone knew this already, but Radar Online his confirmed that Carrie Prejean was over 18 when she took those nude pictures by analyzing her tan lines in various states of undress. It's unclear why she couldn't have tan lines at 17. [Radar Online]
• Carrie Prejean's dad says of her sex tapes, "The personal information they are bringing out against Carrie is irrelevant to anything." Will Prejean continues, "Carrie is supposed to be doing all of these TV appearances to promote her book, and everyone can only focus on the tapes... I'm not someone who looks backwards. I think we need to look to the future. Why isn't anyone talking about the charity work and all of the charitable organizations that Carrie's involved in?" [E!]
• In an interview on Good Morning America, Janet Jackson admitted that Michael Jackson's family staged several interventions about his drug use but "weren't very successful." She says he understood "that it was out of love," but in these situations, "people tend to be in denial." [TMZ]
• Somehow "Michael Jackson's estate" is fighting with Janet Jackson because her new song "Make Me" includes the line "Don't stop till you get it up," even though the people in charge of MJ's estate say they're unaware of the dispute. [ET]
• Sources say Evan Chandler, the father of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of molesting him, had been estranged from his family for three years before he committed suicide earlier this month and had changed his appearance with plastic surgery to avoid a backlash from the case. [Radar Online]
• Michael Jackson's kids attended the L.A. premiere of New Moon and avoided the paparazzi by sneaking in a side door. A friend says, "They loved it." [Showbiz 411]
• Whoa. Miley Cyrus may be the only 16-year-old who isn't into Twilight. "I've never seen it and nor will I ever," said Miley. "I don't believe in it... I don't like vampires. I don't like the wolf that pops out of the screen when I'm watching my TV at night. I don't like it. I don't want anything to do with it. I don't like the shirts. I don't like any of it." [People]
• Kristen Stewart says her character Bella "Has a lot of really innate female qualities... For a character in literature, I think it's awesome that so many girls can look up to her, because she's fickle and unabashedly (so)." [Reuters]
• Robert Pattinson says in his pre-Twilight life, "I loved driving around L.A. I know not a lot of people say that, but if you don't have to get anywhere, L.A. is the best place to drive 'round in. I used to have this little car, a convertible ... and I really do miss doing that, as the sun is going down, driving over the mountains. It's a great thing and I kind of do miss that a little bit. It's not really the same thing when you've got 10 cars following you." [AP]
• "I don't think there's something particularly alluring or topical about vampires right now that our generation takes to. I think it's more just that Stephenie [Meyer] wrote these characters with really creative, really gloried character traits. He's a vampire - he sucks blood and all that - but being a vampire is really just a symbol of who he is. I think if you take all of the mythical aspects away from the story, these characters would still be interesting. And they'd still stand. That's what people have become addicted to. At least concerning the fans. I don't think it's a vampire thing." — Kristen Stewart [Time]
• New Moon director Chris Weitz says he's quitting making movies after doing one more film. "Every time I make a movie I'm pretty much convinced it's the last time I'm going to be able to do it and that really it's a rather silly occupation to undertake," he says. "But I think I have maybe one more film in me." [People]
• Pamela Anderson says she has told her sons about the sex tape she made with Tommy Lee. "I knew the kids were going to watch [Borat] and there was a reference to the tape in the movie and they're that age and, you know, people are going start saying things," she said. "I just said, 'Look, Mummy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you're probably going hear about something at school.'" [The Sun]
• Pamela Anderson says, "I've tried it (cocaine) and I don't like it. I'm completely hyper and it actually doesn't work for me. I've dabbled in things." [Contact Music]
• Nicolas Cage, a U.N. ambassador, went to a jail in Kenya to talk to the suspected Somali pirates. "Then I'm in a position where I can actually make some sense and talk about it when I go back to the States where I go talk to different U.N. councils and discuss the matter," Cage said. [AP]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber has be re-admitted to the hospital after developing an infection following surgery for prostate cancer. [AP]
• Penny Marshall has liver cancer, according to The National Enquirer. "Most people would have been devastated, crying on the shoulder of friends and family. But not Penny - she was angry!" said a family source. "The last thing Penny wants is for anyone to feel sorry for her." [National Enquirer]
• Jennifer Hudson will play Winnie Mandela in Winnie, Clint Eastwood's movie about Nelson Mandela's ex-wife. "I was compelled and moved when I read the script," Hudson said. "Winnie Mandela is a complex and extraordinary woman, and I'm honored to be the actress asked to portray her. This is a powerful part of history that should be told." [People]
• Clint Eastwood says the U.S. is "becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits..." [Daily Express]
• The Black Eyed Peas' manager, Liborio Molina, won't face charges for punching Perez Hilton in the back of the head. Here's what Molina wrote: 'I apologize for what I did on June 22 of 2009, even though you engaged in highly offensive comments, including a homophobic slur to my clients, I acknowledge that these kinds of issues should not be resolved through a physical response." [TMZ]
• Liborio Molina has also agreed not to contact Perez HIlton and cannot carry any weapons for a year. [AP]
• Precious will be awarded the Producers Guild of America's Stanley Kramer Award, which goes to a film that tackles provocative social issues in a constructive way. [N.Y.T.]
• Kirstie Alley Tweeted about being the butt of Conan O'Brien's fat jokes saying, "ONE BITCH I'm gonna knck [sic] out next time I see her is CONAN O'BITCH O'BRIAN [sic]. That guy acts like I bit his dick off." Star Jones Tweeted back: "You know Conan probably 'wanted some' and you chumped him...I know a few brothers from Brooklyn who owe me! LOL" [Us]
• Roger Moore was named the 2009 Person of the Year by the U.K. branch of PETA for campaigning against foie gras. [Reuters]
• Mariah Carey was late to the British show This Morning, so host Phillip Schofield Tweeted: "Sitting here twiddling our thumbs waiting for Mariah Carey. la la la laaa," before adding: "It's her album... which we will talk about IF she hurries up!" [The Sun]
• Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair got into a fight at a press conference in Australia. Some say it was staged to promote a wrestling even, but in the picture at the link Hogan's head is coated in blood. [TMZ]
• Fantasia Barrino's fans are upset because she's dating a married father of two who left his wife and kids to move in with her. [Star]
• Robin Williams, who split from his wife of 19 years in 2008, has found love again with graphic designer Susan Schneider. A source said, "Robin truly believes it's no coincidence that Susan came into his life right before his heart operation. He told a pal, 'She saved me - she helped me heal.'" [Daily Express]
• Tyra Banks tried to get model Jessica White, who has been seen holding hands with Sean Penn, to confirm that they're dating, but she said, "I hold hands with my friends." [Us]
• Daniel Radcliffe will guest star in The Simpsons' "Treehouse of Horror XXI" next season. [ONTD]
• Hugh Jackman has forgiven his mother for abandoning the family when he was young, and was spotted spending time with her in New York yesterday. "My mother was not well," Jackman has said. "I always hoped she would come back, but I never blamed her for anything that went wrong. At the time, I was miserable and angry, and my brothers and I used to fight all the time." [News.com.au]
• Carrie Underwood says she isn't moving in with her boyfriend Mike Fisher. "Call me old-fashioned. He's there. I'm here... We're both doing our thing and it's good. The next guy I move in with will be my hubby. Whoever that is. I'm not saying it's going to be him." [People]
• Jessica Simpson Tweeted about her sister Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's Broadway debut: "I can't wait to watch @ashsimpsonwentz on broadway in all of her glory!!! I get chillbumps from toes to noggin thinking about it!!! YAY!!!!!" [Us]
• Pete Wentz said, "I just spent the last weekend – Mom was rehearsing for Chicago – being Dad without a nanny, without Mom, and didn't burn the house down, so I'm pretty excited about that." [People]
• Jessica Szohr says "we had fun" shooting the Gossip Girl threesome. "Penn is really easy to work with and very professional and [so is] Hilary," Szohr said. "We just went with it and tried to make it as easy as possible." [Us]
• Sandra Bullock says her family didn't like her going blonde for The Blind Side. "It was entertaining for a couple of months but it's not really my color palette," she said. Her husband didn't like it either. "Thank God an important person in my life didn't want me being blonde. He was like, ‘I don't like the blonde on you. You want him to say that!" [People]
• "I want boobs, a gentle six-pack and a perky butt," says Amanda Peet. "If I could choose an ideal body, I'd take Gisele Bunchen's. I challenge anyone to say she wouldn't want Gisele's body, deep down... Actually, I'd take a number of people's bodies. I'd take Jennifer Aniston's, too." [People]
• Susan Sarandon is going to meet table tennis legend Jan-Ove Waldner when she travels to Stockholm to receive an award next week. "It was on her initiative, we just made the effort to find him," says Git Scheynius, director of the Stockholm Film Festival. "She's actually involved in a table tennis club in New York — that's one of her greatest hobbies." [Reuters]
• "I feel like I have learned a lot. The movies could not be more different," says Penelope Cruz of her upcoming films Nine and Broken Embraces. "To be able to sing for the first time professionally and dance, it was a scary experience. Broken Embraces is like three women in one. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world." [Reuters]
• Vera Farmiga says she was drawn to the film Up In The Air because, "I thought it was a refreshing spin on feminine desire. It's something you don't too often get to see, a woman being so demanding and libertine and unapologetic about her sexual prowess. She's an adventuress; she's a full-blown romantic operative. That was pretty exciting. And tricky. Because usually, female characters who are so masculine in their needs can come across as lacking dignity. Alex represents to me what's so hard about being a woman, post-feminist. Wanting it all: a family, a career. That sort of pendulum between romance and respectability, virgin-whore, all these lady problems we have to contend with and there will never be an answer to. A modern heroine of sorts." [L.A.T.]
• Heidi Klum says she's wearing something sexy when she hosts the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, even though she wants to lose weight. "I have some great one-of-a-kind latex pieces that were made for me. I figure why not? I embrace that I have more curves right now," said Klum, "I'm definitely one of the heaviest of the bunch of the 30 girls in the show. And I still have 20 lbs. to go... But why not? I like my outfit. I like the way it looks on me." [People]
• "I have a really big scrapbook. I still actually have these notes that Marty Scorsese wrote to me while we were making The Age of Innocence. I save everything. I definitely have that gene in me. Someone was telling me about this show called Hoarders. I was like, 'Oh no!' I save everything. I'm scared I might be a hoarder." — Winona Ryder [Daily Express]
• Martha Stewart says Rachael Ray is "more of an entertainer ... with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me. That's not what she's professing to be," adding, "To me, she professed that she could — cannot bake... She — just did a new cookbook which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. She — and that's not good enough for me." Rachael Ray responded: "Why would it make me mad?... Her skill set is far beyond mine. That's simply the reality of it... I'd rather eat Martha's than mine, too." [Us]

If you've ever even been slightly curious about Tim Burton, that ultimate disconsolate son of suburbia who's been inviting us into his gleefully bent movie worlds for 27 years now, rest assured your interest will be sated by the show dedicated to the director at the Museum of Modern Art. Opening on November 22nd, it is an almost ludicrously complete assemblage of Burtoniana.

Just about everything one could think of has been matted and framed, up to and including the nascent director's adolescent doodles and prize-winning poster ideas. The director gave the museum curators the full run of his house and assorted papers; they turned up such early gems as a hand-written high school paper titled "Humor In America" ("Types of jokes I've heard and seen: Pollock [sic] jokes (ethnic jokes), Knock-knock jokes, Insults, Stories, One liners, Elephant jokes, Puns...") and this anti-litter poster, which adorned garbage collection trucks in Burton's native Burbank, California, after he won a Keep Burbank Beautiful competition.

A lot of the drawings on display date from the time Burton spent working at Disney, just after attending CalArts. Apparently, while animating such projects as The Fox And The Hound, Burton found he needed a less treacly creative outlet, and badly: most of the sketches from this period betray a mordant sense of humor and the same dark view of humankind that he would later explore in his feature films. Strangely, these images whipsaw between the grim and the twee. Men and women are portrayed as gothic grotesques, or the drawings hinge on kind of sweet little visual puns: a stringy-haired, football-headed woman tugging a string between both ears gets the caption MENTAL FLOSS, for example. Another drawing features two bunny rabbits with baskets of eggs, one saying to the other, "We've been telling the kids the story of Christ all these years...Well, I think they're old enough now to know what Easter's really all about."

The gallery is crammed with material. (Evidently the excavations of Burton's home proved fruitful.) In addition to the sketches and the high school coursework, there are sculptures — seven of which, in the museum courtyard, Burton made specially for the show — movie props, costumes, posters, Polaroids, and assorted notes such as would please the most dedicated connoisseur of arcana. In one corner, Burton's 1983 adaptation of Hansel and Gretel — screened by the Disney channel exactly once — plays. In it, a Japanese brother and sister outsmart a wicked witch with candy cane rhinoplasty who lives in a house that looks like a quivering, pink tongue. There's also a gingerbread man character who talks to Hansel even as he eats him up. "If you think I'm tasty, and you want my body, come on take another bite," taunts the pastry, to the rhythm of "If You Think I'm Sexy."

Visitors enter the exhibit through an immense mouth that hangs, red carpet-tongue extended; in the black-and-white striped corridor behind, Burton's animated shorts play on flat screens. (At the other end, presumably somewhere in the gallery's stomach, is a room lit by UV light, where Burton's blacklight paintings on velvet are displayed.) It is a curatorial choice that seems to cleave to the crowd-pleasing side of things. It's anyone's guess why the curators thought Burton's work needed such a loud proclamation of its difference from typical museum fare as a jagged-tooth orifice; it looks like the sort of thing one might encounter at an amusement park ride.

The man himself described the process of having his work turned out for display as "surreal" and "an out-of-body experience." He remembered to thank the exhibition sponsor, the ridiculously renamed SyFy — "I'm a sci-fi kinda guy" — only at the very last second.

The exhibit includes a life-sized statue of Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands, as well as this sketch of the character.

Artifacts from Beetlejuice include this sculpture, a yellowed copy of The Afterlife newspaper ("ECTOPLASM LEAK AT PLANT NUMBER 9" "EXORCISM RATE SOARS"), and Burton's own hand-written notes about the project, which compare it to that other well-known "extreme four character conflict," Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf. In the nearby Mars Attacks section, there are latex severed heads and a gigantic painting of Martian anatomy. Sweeney Todd has a wooden box and an engraved set of cutthroat razors.

Batman is represented by various latex cowls, and Batman Returns merits the inclusion of Michelle Pfeiffer's whipstitched catsuit.

In a class composition Burton completed on September 27, 1974, at the age of 16, he imbued an ordinary trip to the doctor for a checkup and a tetanus shot with a sense of heavy foreboding. "There was a ghoulish smile on his face," wrote Burton, "like he enjoyed sticking the needle in my arm."

Tim Burton has stuck the needle in the moviegoing public's arm for nearly 30 years — by the looks of this show, thoroughly enjoying himself in the process. Long may he continue.

Tim Burton At MoMA [MoMA]

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, per usual, bring the Gothic deshabille.


Designer Nanette Lepore knows that if there's one crowd that won't blink at vaguely tribal girly armor, it's this one.


Michelle Harper is a fixture on the social scene and, yes, she always looks this fabulously deco-glam.


Aww, it's Danny DeVito and daughter Gracie!


Jeez louise, is Gabourey Sidibe batting 1000, or what? Nary a misstep, folks! Nary a one!


Brooke Shields can do simple elegance. She was a Calvin girl, after all.


Say what you will about Anna Wintour, say what you will about fur...man, those hems are aligned with a military precision!


Is Ashley Greene's LBD breaking any hearts? No, but I can't take my eyes off her face, so it all works out.


You know what I love most about this pic of MK and Ashley? That they're both carrying briefcases, in case they might need to have an impromptu meeting. Moguls, people.


It's true that Rose Byrne is a special favorite, but come on: this is cool. Would I wear it? Could I wear it? No and no. That's why stars: are nothing like us.


Somehow in the context of this event it would seem strange if Johnny Depp hadn't shown up with Patti Smith as his date, and if they hadn't looked exactly like this. Yes, quizzing glass, hankie and all.


We'd say Helena Bonham Carter had been in one too many Tim Burton movies, but she was always an eccentric, and she's ended up in exactly the right place and, at the end of the day, it's pretty wonderful.


Hamish Bowles (Vogue's European Editor at Large) is one of this town's most reliable and natty dandies.


David and Julia Koch do "artistic socialite." Okay, not him so much.

[Images via Getty]

• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

Nicole claims that one of the snappers trespassed at her home and the photographers often stomp their feet on the ground to try to get a reaction from her. [AP]

• In court, Nicole Richie's lawyer called Joel Madden her husband, but he misspoke; the Nicole and Joel are not married. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER: Robert Pattinson will be People's "Sexiest Man Alive." [OMG Blog]
• Whoa: Oprah has to get a pay cut if she wants to keep doing her show? How will she be able to afford her favorite things?!?! [NY Post]
• Avast me hearties! Johnny Depp has agreed to a $35 million pay deal to be in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film, which makes him the highest-earning actor in Hollywood. That's a lot of dubloons, savvy? [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson was asked if Alex Rodriguez actually has a painting of himself as a centaur in his house. She dodged the question, sorta, saying "That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me." Video at the link. [MTV News]
• Great Scot! Behold: Gerard Butler in a kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" suspect Alexis Neiers pled not guilty to breaking into Orlando Bloom's house yesterday. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron got one of the "Burglar Bunch" bounced from a club Saturday night. [Page Six]
• In case you missed it, Sarah Palin called Levi Johnston an aspiring porn star on Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh, and Sarah Palin won't go on Letterman, because: "I don't think that I'd want to boost his ratings." [NY Post]
• Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot did not include full frontal nudity. [People]
• Anthony Michael Hall's ex-girlfriend has a restraining order against him after he allegedly stalked her and attacked her in her apartment. Farmer Ted's spokesman says: "All of the allegations are erroneous and will be addressed accordingly." [Page Six]
• The Los Angeles City Council would like to get back $3.2 million the city spent on Michael Jackson's memorial service. A spokesman says: "During these tough economic times right now, that's big money. We're laying off, people are getting furloughed...It's still money that we put out for a memorial service for Michael Jackson." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Joe Jackson is claiming that Michael Jackson's name was forged on his will and is trying to get the executors of the will fired. [TMZ]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, Edis Kayalar, has turned himself in at a police station in Stuttgart, Germany. [AP]
• The Today show cancelled Al Roker's interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so, naturally, Spencer Tweeted some rude things about Al. For example: "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache[sic] stapled again?" And: "you look very sick? Do you always look like your[sic] about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?" [Us Magazine]
• A judge in Massachusetts has thrown out a lawsuit accusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck of plagiarism in her book about celiac disease. [AP]
• A paparazzo kept on calling Becki Newton "Kelly Ripa." So Becki rolled with it and did her best Kelly impression. [Page Six]
• Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) thinks Carrie Prejean should have a career in politics. [TMZ]
• No one recognizes Robin Wright Penn with her dark hair. [Gatecrasher]
• Wait: Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. And she was overheard at the screening of her film The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee saying: "This is all about new beginnings for me." [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga's tour without Kanye is already a success, as tickets are selling out super quick. [Gatecrasher]
• Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will star in TMI, a flick about too much honesty in a relationship. [Variety]
• Anna Faris has also been cast in a romcom called Wedding Bannned, in which she'll play Robin Williams' daughter. The story? "A long-divorced couple kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan is the top fashion party attendee in New York. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley threw a birthday party for the guy who wrote New York Minute, aka one of the worst movies I have ever seen. [Page Six]
• Twilight fans in LA are already camped out to see New Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look, a Britloid published a lie and apologized again! This time they printed erroneous info about Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige says her song for Precious is fairly personal: "I went into the studio and cried hard, reaching back." [Variety]
• Heather Locklear = "drama" and "diva antics" on the set of Melrose Place. There was a button missing on her jacket and she allegedly said: "You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me, right? What kind of operation is this?" Then she stormed off. Allegedly. [MSNBC via the National Enquirer]
• In the piece at the link, Heather Locklear talks about Melrose Place, saying: "I saw the pilot and I wasn't sure, still. But then I saw the second episode and I thought, 'This is really fun, the clothes are great and now they're starting to get into some story lines.' And I went, 'I'm in. If I'm not the one who killed Sydney, I'm in." [LA Times]
• Congrats to Adriana Lima and hubs Marko Jaric, who welcomed a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in NYC on Sunday. [NY Daily News]
• Tila Tequila has filed a lawsuit against her ex, football player Shawne Merriman. She's using pictures of her bruises as evidence. [TMZ]
• Wow, the CW might bring back Mischa Barton's show The Beautiful Life, even though it was cancelled after two episodes. Tough times? [NY Daily News]
• Tom Waits' daughter painted Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi lying down and embracing each other in their undies?!?! [Page Six]
• RIP Ken Ober, host of MTV's Remote Control. [NY Times]
• "[We're] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." — Clint Eastwood, to GQ. [NY Daily News]
• "It is all on Steve. Steve Martin has done this before, while for me it is the first time. All the pressure is on Steve Martin." — Alec Baldwin is not worried about hosting the Oscars. [People]
• "Everyone seems to enjoy it. But I don't think it's that funny." — Kathie Lee Gifford on Kristen Wiig's impersonation of her on SNL. [NY Daily News]
• "[I had ] big boobs because I was breast-feeding; I was perfect for it. I wouldn't get cast now." — Nicole Kidman on her role in Nine. [Gatecrasher]
• "The idea that there has been a sullying of my image ... I'm not going to be buried with an Us Weekly. I don't give a (expletive) about it anymore, I can't worry about it and I don't worry about it. And I don't think people want me to worry about it." — John Mayer is all about the music, you guys. [AP]
• "When you say to a girl, 'I play golf,' her eyes glaze over. I do feel guilty about my golf. You know you're a sad case when you spend your spare time reading books on putting or going on YouTube to watch slow motion golf swings. I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night and practice my swing in front of a mirror. I'm obsessed and it's destroying my life. Golf is an addiction." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!' - whack! I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner… I'm just — I'm a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know? There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing." — Susan Boyle. [AFP]
• "My whole dating thing, I've been kind of chillin'… I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are going to be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody." — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via MTV News]
• "I never planned to write a book. I wasn't planning on a career in writing, I wasn't thinking about stories I wanted to write down. But I had a dream… My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I didn't speak to him for ages because I had all these weird things going on in my head. I wasn't telling him about this vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind." — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. [Daily Express]
• "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die. [I believed] I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go." — Broke Shields discussed her post-partum suicidal thoughts on Monday while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan. [People]
• "In Vancouver, shooting New Moon, I tried something. They have this thought that no one there wears hoods except for problem people. It's the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. It's like if you're wearing a hood you're going to mug people. So it's a boring disguise, but it worked when I wore a hood. And then I'd sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you're walking. Everyone moved around to the other side of the street." — Robert Pattinson, on being "in disguise." [Time]

• Could Michael Lohan go to jail for the phone calls he's been leaking?

Apparently Dina Lohan has had a protective order since 2005 — and it bans Michael Lohan from communicating with Dina by email or phone through 2011. One of the calls is supposedly from 2008, meaning Michael definitely violated the order. [TMZ]

• A "source" on Nicole Kidman's face at the Country Music Awards: "She looked freakish; She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dating! Director Catherine Hardwicke says so! But she says: "It didn't happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film," since KStew was 18. Now that she's 19, it's on! TWILIGHT IS REAL ZOMG SPARKLEVAMP 4EVA BITE ME. [Us]
• Because he is awesome, Johnny Depp has offered to take care of Nicolas Cage's debts. Apparently Johnny was a struggling musician when he met Nic in the '80s, and Nic sent Johnny to his agent, who cast Johnny in Nightmare On Elm Street. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston had his Playgirl shoot yesterday, which involved a hockey stick and, naturally, nudity. Levi's manager Tank Jones says: "The shoot was fantastic! People are going to see more of Levi than they thought." Grrrreat. There's another shoot today; may we suggest a moose-skin rug? Or an igloo? [Us]
• Levi Johnston says he sees his upcoming memoir becoming a movie. "I would play myself," he says, naturally. [Gatecrasher]
• As previously mentioned, Chris Brown went to a Footaction store on Wednesday, and was heckled. A woman shouted, "I hope someone beats the fucking shit out of you!" Today Chris will be on Wendy Williams saying he's been "perceived wrong" and I'm definitely remorseful, and it's not something that I take lightly or think that it's, like, under the rug." [Page Six]
• Before the Country Music Awards, Wynonna Judd said Taylor Swift's nomination for Entertainer Of The Year was "too much too soon… I want kids to earn it." But now she says: "My intent was not to take anything from her talent and contributions to the country music industry… Taylor is a beautiful, hard working young woman that deserves the success she has had and I support her as an artist and as a woman in the business." Sure, sure. [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen has hurt her foot after falling while carrying a suitcase down a flight of stairs. [The Sun]
• DVR alert: Kathy Griffin will be on Law & Order SVU. [TV Guide]
• Balloon Dad Richard Heene turned himself in yesterday and was released on a $5000 bond. [ET]
• Richard Heene will plead guilty to felony charges, his lawyer claims. Mayumi Heene will plead guilty to false reporting to authorities — a misdemeanor. Is there a law against making everyone worry? [NY Post]
• Amy Winehouse is working with a Miami-based producer on her third record, but her visa issues keep her from traveling. [The Sun]
• If you would like to see a mug shot of Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, click the link. He's a former model who took a photograph he found in Cindy's nanny's room, and the pic shows Cindy's daughter bound and gagged for a "prank." [TMZ]
• Nadya Suleman would like for you to know that she is a competent mother. [Us]
• Some guy is auctioning off Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage certificate from when they tied the knot in the Dominican Republic in 1994. The names Jackson + Presley = ca$h. [Perez]
• 20-year-old Daniel Radcliffe smoked pot and a party and it is "news." [Mirror]
• Geena Davis has gained weight and it is "news." [NY Daily News]
• Whoa — Emmy Rossum met Adam Duritz via Twitter? [People]
• BREAKING: Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent are no longer pissed at each other. [Page Six]
• Rumors abounded but now it's official: Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are expecting their first child. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, David Beckham talks about playing with the LA Galaxy today, which means missing an England vs. Brazil game. [Guardian]
• Lil' Kim is being sued for $20,000 by British club promoters who claim she accepted money but then did not appear at an event, saying she had a nosebleed. No, really. [NY Post]
• Aerosmith's management reportedly asked Steven Tyler to perform in a wheelchair. "I just wouldn't do it," Tyler told Rolling Stone. Not even if you were contractually obligated to do the gig and hurt yourself acting crazy on stage? Hmm. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Tori Amos' fantasy band would have Janis Joplin on vocals, Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, Bootsy Collins on bass and Zeppelin's John Bonham on drums. [Independent]
• In "10 Questions For Tony Hawk," the skateboarder says: "I don't want to name names. I'm just saying many Olympic sports require less physical effort and less talent than skateboarding." [Time]
• Chris Mann wrote the Three's Company tell-all book Come and Knock on Our Door, and served as consulting producer on NBC's behind-the-scenes movie about Company. On his blog, he writes that before John Ritter died, he was asked about Suzanne Somers' supposed breast cancer, and Ritter said: "We don't know if Suzanne has cancer or not, because she lies." [Retroality.tv]
• Jon & Kate is being replaced by Cake Boss, a show that seems super scripted but still pretty funny. And unlike those weird "challenge" cake shows, the cakes actually look edible and delicious. [NY Post]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor has tax problems. Will she have to move to the country and live on a farm with a pig named Arnold? Oh wait. That was Eva. Anyway, Bernard Madoff is to blame for this. [TMZ]
• Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009 airs December 19, and will feature the best holiday sketches from the show's 35-year history. [NY Post]
• TMZ lifted images from Radar Online. [Page Six]
• The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit, with Josh Brolin instead of John Wayne. [NY Daily News]
• "Look, I really am the last British actor who's not in any of the Harry Potter films. I was looking for something I could do that would make me cool in the eyes of my daughter." — Michael Sheen, of Frost/Nixon and, more importantly, New Moon. He also says: "I had to say to my daughter, 'I heard someone talking about this character Aro in these books. Do you know anything about that?' And she said, 'Yes, he's the leader of the Volturi and he reads people's minds. Are you playing him?' Of course I said, 'no, no, no'. When it was all worked out, she cried. Then she hit me." [Independent]
• It feels weird to do interviews because I don't understand why anyone wants to talk to me. There were all these other guys in high school that were bigger, funnier, and more handsome than I was, so why do you care about what I have to say? You should ask them." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I'm not aware of any fans. I do nothing to live in secrecy, but I really don't get recognized anywhere. Though I was walking my dog recently when someone yelled, 'Hey, Jason!' They said it so sweetly that I turned around and said, 'Hey!' Then they said, 'Fuck you, you asshole!' and drove away." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I had friends growing up, but I struggled to feel like I really fit in. If I was invited to a party, I would just end up sitting on a couch or standing in a corner by myself. But it wasn't like I was getting beat up or anything. I wish I had gotten beaten up, because at least that would've justified why I felt so homesick all the time, even though I was home." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "Susan Boyle is a lovely gracious woman, and I took advantage of that by poking fun at her." — Sharon Osboune, who, a week ago, said SuBo looked like she'd been hit by a "fucking ugly stick." [NY Post]
• We were disappointed, but we understand. He's only 1. But we were in Alaska and have plenty of footage of Trig." — Barbara Walters wanted to have Sarah Palin's grandson Trig in the studio, but he has a cold and couldn't make it. [Page Six]
• "It's disgusting that people would say those things. My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady. There's gonna be a time when I'm way curvier, and that'll be sexy, too." — Ashlee Simpson is tired of people calling Jessica Simpson fat. Ashlee also says her husband loves her body:"Pete isn't worried about stretch marks," she says. "He always makes me feel good." [Gatecrasher]
• "I have half-a-dozen close friends and Mariah is among the dearest. I flatter myself that the relationship is reciprocal: Mariah and I share a strong, sisterly friendship. She signs off all her letters to me with the affectionate endearment: 'Your sis, M.' Though she is stupendously rich and I am relatively poor, it is a friendship of equals. She visits me in my small home; I am a frequent guest at her various mansions and holiday villas all over the world." — from a piece written by a former MTV host who stayed friends with Mariah Carey after meeting her through work. [Daily Mail]
• "There are so many young girls wearing too much makeup, too much hairspray — I find that very dated." — Victoria Beckham. [Gatecrasher via Harper's Bazaar UK]

While Ryder "personified the knowing malaise of the late '80s and early '90s," according to interviewer Nick Haramis, she's recently been on a "nine-year retreat from the spotlight." (It's true that we haven't heard much from her, but she has made several movies in the past decade.) Haramis writes:

Ryder rarely gives interviews, as if rebelling against-or atoning for-her effusive past. "It's weird," she says, "the whole concept of an interview. To hold someone accountable for what they've said or done when they were younger is bizarre. We evolve, we change-at least I hope we do."

While Ryder says she's learned to be wary of revealing too much to the press, it doesn't stop her from sharing this bit of personal information:

"I've just been told that news will break next week that I'm pregnant," she says laughing, "which is impossible." And just to make sure she has been understood, Ryder adds, "Because, you know, I'm on my… " Her left hand circles the air just south of her phantom baby bump.

Ryder reveals that she once had a short story published under a pseudonym because:

"I wanted to know what it felt like to have people enjoy something and not know it had anything to do with me." But wouldn't the recognition validate the work? "Well, I can't listen to Wagner because he hated Jews. I can't read Émile Zola-I mean, I love Émile Zola, but he had some scandals that were kind of scary-and I worship Woody Allen, but he had his thing, too. I struggle with the age-old question of how to separate the art from the artist."

She says her four year relationship with Johnny Depp, which started when she was 17, put her at the center of a media frenzy early in her career.

"Things changed for me when I met Johnny," she says. "This weird thing happens when you're written about in magazines, where you start to think, This is who I am. This is how I have to be. I felt restricted and pressured into being the way people perceived me. It was hard for me to find my footing. The Johnny thing made me really afraid of the press because, even though it was about him, I was beside him the entire time."

While she's on good terms with Depp and another celebrity ex, Matt Damon, the fact that her entire dating history is public makes starting a new relationship difficult.

"Matt couldn't be a greater, nicer guy. I'm really lucky that I'm on good terms with him," she says. "With Johnny, it's like we're good, but we lead very different lives." Ryder adds, "I was out at a bar with a friend who said, ‘Do you realize that in America you're never going to be able to meet a guy who knows nothing about you? Everyone will have preconceived ideas about who you are.' I got so bummed out. I'd never really thought about it that way."

Ryder says the media scrutiny caught up to her in 1990, so at 19-years-old she decided to seek psychological treatment.

"I remember waking up one morning," she says of her breaking point. "I looked in the mirror and thought, Am I going crazy? So I checked myself into a hospital where I stayed for a few days. I was surrounded by people who had been molested and abused. I felt like they hated me, didn't know what the fuck I was doing there and wanted me to get the hell out because what the fuck did I have to complain about?" A smile builds across her face when she adds, "When it was my turn to talk in group therapy sessions, I was like, I'm just really tired because it's hard to be famous."

She drew on her experience in the hospital while filming Girl, Interrupted years later. Angelina Jolie won an Oscar for her role in the film, and in some ways Ryder is responsible for jump-starting her career.

"I fought very hard for her to have that part, and I never really felt like I got the chance to know her." Did Jolie ever personally thank her? "I feel like it won't read in print very nicely if I say that wasn't really her style," she says. "But she seems to be a completely different person now."

Ryder is back on the interview circuit to promote Pippa Lee, in which she plays Sandra Dulles, "an adulterous mess of insecurity and self-interest," but she still refuses to discuss some of her own issues. She won't answer Haramis' questions about her December 2001 arrest for shoplifting at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills.

We move on, but before doing so, she touches my arm and, as though forgiving me for asking, says, "I understand. I'm curious about other people, so I have to understand when people are curious about me."

Read the rest of the interview here at BlackBookMag.com.

Winona Ryder Bites Back [BlackBook Magazine]

• No one saw this coming: Jon Gosselin dumped Hailey Glassman on the advice of his spiritual advisor, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. "They're taking a break," said an insider, "[Jon] decided he needed to spend some time on his own." [Extra]

• Jon Gosselin is trying to connect with his "deeper, more spiritual, more altruistic self" through regular study sessions with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who is famous for serving as Michael Jackson's spiritual advisor. Jon said he plans to publicly apologize "in a sacred space to those whom I have hurt" on Sunday at Manhattan's West Side Synagogue. [People]
• Jon Gosselin sent a statement to the producers of Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom saying that while he "appreciates the consideration and the potential revenues that it offers, after reviewing with both the management team and his spiritual advisors Jon has decided it is not in his best interest to pursue a show of this nature." [TMZ]
• Though Jon Gosselin claims he didn't hear about the show until it was reported in the media, emails between Jon and the producers have surfaced that detail the plot of the show, Hailey Glassman's role, and how much he would be paid. The producers write: "Pretty easy work for a million dollars." [Radar Online]
• The 53-year-old man who said Miley Cyrus sends him secret messages through his TV and was arrested for stalking her will be set free after pleading guilty to two misdemeanors. He has been sentenced to two years probation and must undergo a mental health evaluation. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus says of shooting her cameo in Sex and the City 2: Electric Boogaloo, "Literally, I shot for like an hour and a half, and I was done... it was a total dream come true." [People]
• A man accused of stalking Ryan Seacrest has been arrested inside the E! building. [TMZ]
• Seacrest's stalker, Chidi Uzomah, was sentenced to 3 years probation and ordered to stay away from Seacrest after attacking his security guard last month. He had a knife on him today. [TMZ]
• Chidi Uzomah showed up at the KIIS FM radio studio looking for Ryan Seacrest earlier this month and Ryan's people asked the police to arrest him for a parole violation. [TMZ]
• An Ohio prosecutor has dropped the charges against one of the three men accused of spying on Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate because he wants him to testify against the other two. [AP]
• Nicole Richie is seeking a restraining order against the paparazzi who hit her car. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's neighbors called the police because she was throwing an incredibly loud party at 4 am, but by the time the police got there at 5 am it was totally quiet. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard was detained yesterday because he tried to cross a police barricade. [TMZ]
• Matthew Morrison of Glee has "almost finalized" a record deal. "It's going to be different. I would consider it a classier Justin Timberlake album," he said. "It's going to be me and a big orchestra, but also with beats." [Access Hollywood]
• Cindy Crawford will guest judge the next episode of Project Runway. [People]
• Eddie Murphy will appear on the season finale of ANTM but he won't be a judge. He'll been supporting his daughter Bria Murphy, who will appear on the show. [E!]
• Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp's girlfriend, pushed a photograph on the way out of a Betsey Johnson store and yelled, "Are you mad?!" [ONTD]
• It was revealed on last night's RHOA reunion special that NeNe and Kim's feud is over. [People]
• A source says the rumor that Pamela Anderson is pregnant again are not true. The source says: "She's not pregnant... just happy. She doesn't have to say anything because they (rumours) are not true. She actually gets upset because her kids go to school. Of course, she cares. She's a human being. We're all human." [Daily Express]
• Earlier this week a stripper said she had a fling with Josh Duhamel after he married Fergie. Today a woman in the Air Force called in to a radio show and claimed that he slept with a few other women in the Air Force while he was filming Transformers 2. [Perez Hilton]
• A lady who has intimate knowledge of A-Rod's bedroom reveals "He was so vain. He had not one, but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur. You know, the half man, half horse figure? ... It was ridiculous." [Us]
• The preliminary hearing in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case has concluded and a judge decided there was enough evidence for Howard K. Stern, Dr. Sandeep Kapoor, and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich to stand trial. [TMZ]
• FYI, Dr. Mehmet's Oz's drink is tequila straight. [N.Y. Magazine]
• At the link Jimmy Fallon does another spoof of Robert Pattinson's sulking. [People]
• Steven Soderbergh has written a play about the Caylee Anthony case called Tot Mom that will be staged in Australia in December. [CBS News]
• For his Showtime documentary Poliwood director Barry Levinson followed Anne Hathaway, Susan Sarandon and other politically-active members of the Creative Coalition as they navigated the 2008 political conventions. He says, "I was fascinated at the level of criticism for those celebrities who have some genuine interest in the political process. You try to navigate through this media circus and hopefully don't end up the clown." [W]
• Tom Hanks says he loves Beyonce's "Single Ladies" because that' what he told his wife Rita Wilson when they first met: "I'm gon' put a ring on that finger. I'm gon' take that thing home." [AP]
• Mario Lopez says the persistent rumor that he and Eva Longoria once dated isn't true. "We get asked that a lot but I've known her for a long time and it would seem incestuous," he said. "We're both the same culture, same age, our families both know each other, so we go back. It would be weird. It would never happen." [Daily Express]
• Jude Law's rep says he and Sienna Miller aren't dating. "Jude and Sienna are just friends and are seeing each other socially occasionally as they are both on Broadway, performing just one block apart." [People]
• Michael Buble says he's happy for ex-girlfriend Emily Blunt and her fiance John Krasinski. "We talked and I congratulated her. Emily is amazing, so this guy also has to be," said Buble. [Daily Express]
• "I never expected to make a living at this when I was growing up. My whole career is pretty much by accident." — Weird Al Yankovic [CNN]
• Chaz Bono says that his girlfriend of four years, Jennifer Ella, stood by him through his recent gender reassignment surgery. "She's been amazing," he said, "I feel really grateful to be going through this with a partner." He adds: "Our relationship always modeled a heterosexual relationship, emotionally and intellectually. So now it does physically as well." [People]
• As just about every geeky guy has done at some point, David Beckham is growing a beard to try to look more like Wolverine. He says, "Halloween is coming up and I was thinking of Wolverine from X-Men. It's not some play-off ritual. I'm just lazy and can't be bothered to shave. And everybody keeps telling me to cut it and I'm stubborn." [Ok]
• Victoria Beckham says her solo singing career was a mistake. "People never believed the solo singing career, and it wasn't the real me - I was a little bit lost at the time. I don't mind making mistakes. I just can't live with anyone else's mistakes." [The Mirror]
• On Oprah today Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's wife of 34 years said, "I feel him here. I feel like he hasn't left. I can feel every contour of his hand in mine." [People]

• Kate Moss and her boyfriend, Jamie Hince, have been invited to spend Christmas on Johnny Depp's private island with Depp and his wife, Vanessa Paradis. Celebrities! They're just like us...if we had an ex-boyfriend with a private island. [TheSun]

• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are reportedly together again, for the 80th time. [TheSun]
• The pair were seen eating dinner together with Courteney Cox Arquette and her husband, David, and Aniston was "was on his arm and they were very lovey." [TheSun]
• Meanwhile, Aniston and her father, John Aniston have come together to narrate a children's book for charity; $2 from each book sold will be given to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. [JustJared]
• Blake Lively is allegedly a very big fan of Victoria Beckham and recently tried to convince Beckham to guest star on Gossip Girl, taking her case to the producers of the show. "Victoria isn't an actress and wanted her role to be very tongue-in-cheek," says a source, "And an idea for her to play Ed Westwick's long-lost mother was quickly vetoed. Victoria joked that she'd rather play his ex-love interest!" [ShowbizSpy]
• 3,000 people came out to say farewell to Boyzone star Stephen Gately this morning at his funeral; Gately passed away at the age of 33 last week. [Reuters]
• Pete Wentz, who says he wants a "soccer team" of kids, also says that having a son made him realize how much his own father did for him: "It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." [People]
• An interesting question for your Saturday morning: "Is Kevin Costner Germany's new David Hasselhoff?" [People]
• Larry Birkhead claims that Anna Nicole Smith took methadone while pregnant with their daughter, Dannielynn, as she feared withdrawal would cause her to lose the baby. [NYDN]
• Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis was caught on tape screaming a homophobic slur at a doorman last night after being denied entrance a club. [TMZ]
• TLC reportedly knows just how much money Jon Gosselin has been making from his interviews and promotional appearances, and, according to RadarOnline, "the network wants all that money plus damages in a court battle that has the strong possibility of leaving Jon flat broke." [RadarOnline]
• Michael Crichton's wife and daughter are currently fighting over the late author's estate, as Crichton's daughter wants his wife (her step-mother) removed as trustee of Crichton's estate. [UPI]
• Levi Johnston is preparing for his upcoming Playgirl shoot by eating tons of lean protein, including moose meat, according to his trainer: "Moose meat is very good for you, high in protein and very lean." [People]
• Two Ohio police chiefs accused of breaking in to the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate in order to collect information on Parker and her husband, Matthew Broderick, to sell to the tabloids, face between 14-21 years of jail if convicted. [E!]
• Ryan Reynolds is currently working on a film "described as a dude-in-drag romantic comedy, with Reynolds playing a jilted lover who must disguise himself as a woman and befriend his ex in order to win her back." [Variety]
• "I've found that people are cool if you don't treat them like jerks."-Penn Badgely [NYTimes]
• Andrew Keegan's ex-girlfriend claims she isn't surprised that a judge refused to grant her a permanent restraining order against Keegan, whom she's accused of abusing her in the past: "
  "I'm fine. I guess deep down inside, I knew I had a slim chance in winning, considering I didn't hire an expensive lawyer to bail me out. In fact, I went alone as a strong woman who was standing up to someone who hurt her." [TMZ]
• "What they really want from us is just to open the movie and then get lost after introducing a new generation of ghostbusters, who can start the franchise all over again. I've heard the script idea, and part of it is good but, ye know, it's going to be tough to start again." -Bill Murray on Ghostbusters III [TimesOnline]
• Cindy Crawford says she gets her famous mole checked often, as she fears it might become cancerous. [DailyMail]
• Curious about the type of condoms Jamie Kennedy uses? Well, wonder no more, I guess. [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian says no matter what she does, bloggers and commenters will criticize her body: "Well, I am always fat no matter how much weight I lose. It's like I can never have a good body. But I have a really strong sense of self-esteem. It kind of frustrates me because I do work really hard. I eat really well and I try to look the best I can." [ShowbizSpy]
• Debbie Rowe has filed a $490,000 lawsuit against Rebecca White, who claimed that she had an email from Rowe stating that Rowe didn't want custody of her children with Michael Jackson. [TMZ]
• "I want to hate Megan Fox more than anything. We all do. But I read a bunch of her quotes, and she's witty and smart and carefree. I thought, ‘This is the kind of girl I'd love to be friends with."-Kristen Bell [ShowbizSpy]

• Miley Cyrus will indeed be in Sex And The City 2:

The teen queen will have a scene with Kim Cattrall: Samantha Jones wants to look "hot and young" and winds up on the red carpet with Miley — wearing the same dress. Hilarious? [NY Daily News]

• Rumors that Johnny Depp will be replaced in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie: "Completely unfounded," says a Disney spokesperson. [Mirror]
• Just yesterday, Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman was on the Gosselin family website. Today? She's been deleted. [RadarOnline]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding: A circus. A guest says: There were so many helicopters overhead, you couldn't hear the vows." Ok! magazine made a $250,000 deal for "exclusive" wedding pix, so when paparazzi pictures of the bride popped up on Sunday, the mag had to spend $50,000 on the shots to keep them off the market. As you may know, E! paid for the wedding, after insisting that it be held immediately so it could be on the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. [Page Six]
• Ryan Seacrest is thinking about doing a reality show focusing on Khloe and Lamar as newlyweds. It worked out so well for Nick and Jessica! [NY Daily News]
• In other Kardashian news, Kim Kardashian is back together with Reggie Bush. Professional athletes for everyone! [NY Daily News]
• A second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan burglary has turned herself in. [NY Daily News]
• Should Kanye West go to rehab as an apology for his MTV VMA incident? Columnist Courtney Hazlett says "no, no, no." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of rehab: Amy Winehouse met a "faith healer" named Peter Hippolyte when she was in St. Lucia, and she's planning on flying him to England to help her stay off drugs and booze. Hippolyte says: "We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants." [Daily Mail]
• Video: Amy Winehouse rapping. Sorta. [The Sun]
• "The timing of Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland on Sunday on a 31-year-old rape conviction couldn't have been better for Brett Ratner." Hours before Polanski was arrested, Ratner announced he'll be producing a sequel to Marina Zenovich's 2008 documentary, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey says Precious director Lee Daniels helped her shed some insecurities — he made her arrive to the set without any makeup, and forced her to leave the diva act at home. "That was such a freeing experience for me… By making me look so bad he brought out the ability to never be self-conscious again, and that was a gift that he gave me." On the rumors that Mariah and Nick Cannon are trying to get pregnant, she says: "Well, we enjoy practicing." [AP]
• Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are on the October cover of LA Confidential, and inside Jon says: "The [show] is not meant to be on while you're doing dishes, it's meant to be enjoyed and savored and focused on, and it rewards that attention…" [JustJared]
• At Teen Vogue's 7th annual Young Hollywood party, Kelly Osbourne was overheard telling a friend that she was "shocked" how short the skirts of the young party girls were. [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid are called "Hollywood's Nightmare Couple" in this extensive piece. Evi allegedly self-medicated with Demerol three times a day, snorting it so it would go right to her brain to cure her migraines. A source says: "She also … believed [Michael] Jackson was murdered along with Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine, Natasha Richardson, and other stars who (had been) in movies with Randy." The paranoia that someone was out to get them, and that they weren't safe anywhere, lead to a string of unpaid hotel bills. [The Daily Beast]
• "The enormous sign Evi Quaid made last week — which accused her arresting officer of taking bribes — somehow caught fire this weekend…" [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "shaken" at the Harvard/Brown football game when security guards had to protect her from gawkers. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson is asking a judge to remove his 2006 DUI from his record, now that he has completed the terms of his 3-year probation. [TMZ]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, has announced that a major US film company has bought the rights to her series of children's books. She says: "The films will run as a series… America has been so good to me. I failed in Britain, and when I gave it a go in America I was ready to fail there, too — but they have really embraced me." [Daily Mail]
• Emmy Rossum, who kept her marriage a secret all year, will be officially divorced in about 180 days. Court documents reveal that she married record label exec Justin Siegel in February, and that he wants Emmy to pay his legal expenses for the divorce and give him spousal support. He's all, "That's all I ask… of youuuuuu." [E!]
• Emmy is currently dating Sideshow Bob Adam Duritz. [People]
• American Idol castoff Adam "Glambert" Lambert's CD is available for pre-order on Amazon, and is currently number 2 — ahead of Madonna and the Beatles. [NY Post]
• Darrell Hammond's name is missing from the opening credits of Saturday Night Live, and a source says: "He's interested in pursuing acting more, but he's loyal to Lorne Michaels, and Lorne will always have a place for him on SNL for as long as Darrell is willing to come back." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbra Streisand's new CD is nostalgic, though the recording process was not: "For the first time, she worked with jazz artist Diana Krall as producer, and did it Krall's way. She performed with Krall's quartet of musicians first, then added orchestration later, instead of her usual practice of performing with an orchestra at the outset." [AP]
• Malaysia has banned Bruno because of the gay sex scenes. According to this column, "Gay sex, or 'carnal intercourse against the order of nature,' is punishable by up to 20 years in jail and whipping in Malaysia." Their views on homosexuality suck, but as far as the film goes, they're not missing anything. [Mirror]
• Mary-Louise Parker, 45, is dating musician Charlie Mars, 35. [NY Daily News]
• Jaime Pressley and new hubby Simran Singh got into a huge fight on their wedding night, maybe because Jaime had too much to drink. [Radar Online]
• "The Inside Scoop on Starting in TV" is the story of how Lara Spencer got her start. [WSJ]
• Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, have adopted a baby girl. [People]
• 90210 2.0's AnnaLynne McCord actually wants to be on the cover of Cosmo. [Page Six]
• "A former aide to Danielle Steel is facing time in federal prison after admitting she stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from the romance novelist." [AP]
• Al Sharpton and actress LisaRaye: It's on. [TheYBF]
• Police officials now have the hard drive found with Ryan Jenkins when he was discovered dead in a hotel room back in August. There was no suicide note, so cops are hoping the computer will shed light on the murder of Jasmine Fiore. [TMZ]
• Whatshisname does not have an eating disorder. [The Sun]
• "In terms of the stress there's just no comparison. For me, at least, writing a novel is a great pleasure. There is stress but it's a different kind of stress: more mental than physical. In a film you're working nights and 16-hour days. Here I am saying poor me, when I've been paid pretty well for that work, but it's a fact. It doesn't matter how much you're being paid. At my age I just feel I don't want to do that any longer. So, the writing is really a godsend." — Gene Hackman, who has quit acting for writing, He and Daniel Lenihan have written three works of fiction, and their latest, Escape From Andersonville, is a Civil War adventure. [The Daily Beast]
• "I am enrolling in Berklee College in Boston to get my bachelor's degree in music! That's how important education is to me. I plan to work with Rev. Al Sharpton because that's how important stressing the importance of education to children is to me." — Wyclef Jean. [BV Buzz]
• "I wasn't nervous because I'd got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn't want to lose weight and look skinny." — Heidi Montag on her Playboy shoot. She also says: "I'm a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape." [Prz]
• "Seriously, I feel exactly the same now turning 50 as I did when I was 40 or 30. I am enjoying myself. I happen to think that I am just extraordinarily lucky. I am doing something that I am passionate about and that I enjoy doing. There are a couple of charities I am involved with that would appreciate a donation. But please, no presents from anyone." — Simon Cowell turns 50 tomorrow and will throw a big party this weekend. [Telegraph]
• "We're having Gore Vidal on. Larry David is booked. Those two are favorites of mine. And the usual suspects: Ann Coulter. Susie [Essman] will be on. Barbara [Walters] might be on the first week because she's the queen. Alec Baldwin- I can't get him on the phone. I saw him recently at a U.N. function. He's the funniest. He trusts me because I'm not out to get him. I'm not. Last time I interviewed him, his daughter was there and they were really close." — Joy Behar on her new HLN show, which starts tonight at 9pm. [USA Today]
• "She speaks like this weird white-person ebonics. She has this weird language. She doesn't technically read. But it's OK; she doesn't have to." — Kathy Griffin on Paris Hilton. [Page Six]
• "Come on over and see me after you finish." — Ellen Barkin to Matt Damon. [Page Six]
• "With ratings falling, this might be the last season of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I'm not sure yet." — Kate Gosselin, on her Facebook page. [NY Post]

• Supposedly, Johnny Depp doesn't want to make another Pirates of the Caribbean because he knows the last two "sucked." Disney will offer him a huge paycheck and if he refuses, he'll be replaced by a younger Zac Efron-type.

• The book On Stranger Tides, upon which the fourth Pirates film will be based, leaves room for a younger character to take the lead, but could someone like Shia LaBeouf or Robert Pattinson really fill the void left by Captain Jack? [MTV]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married earlier this month in a small ceremony in France. [Life And Style]
• Jessica Simpson is doing some damage control after the negative reaction to her complaints about having to sleep under a mosquito net in Uganda on Friday. Her rep said, "The accommodations were certainly interesting, but Jessica enjoyed being a part of a totally different culture." And the next day Jess Tweeted on Sunday: "Uganda was truly a beautiful adventure... I will carry the spirit of all the people with me always. God Bless." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer called into Good Morning America today to say that though his client was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday, he's in "very good shape" and he believes it will be possible for Polanski "to obtain his freedom." [TMZ]
• French foreign minister Bernard Kouchner called Roman Polanski's arrest a "bit sinister" and a petition protesting his detention is going around Hollywood. So far Monica Bellucci and Fanny Ardant have signed. Harvey Weinstein said, "We're calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation." [BBC]
• Roman Polanski has refused to be extradited from Switzerland to the United States. [AFP]
• Two previous attempts to arrest Roman Polanski when he travelled to countries that have extradition treaties to the U.S. failed because he learned of the plans and cancelled his trips. But he travels to Switzerland frequently and "had no suspicion he'd be entrapped" according to a source. [People]
• TMZ has obtained the 911 call that lead to David Hasselhoff being taken to the hospital last week. In the first, one of his ex-wife Pamela Bach's friends calls 911 to report an incident at Hasselhoff's home, but when the dispatcher calls the house and get his daughter Hayley, she says, "Turn around ... we're completely fine... My mom is trying to cause something ... nothing happened here at all." [TMZ]
• Burglars broke into Gwen Stefani's London mansion to steal her jewelry on Saturday night while she was at a concert in Singapore. They got into a flat Stefani rents to Dame Elizabeth Forgan, head of the Arts Council, but were unable to get into Stefani's flat. [Daily Mail]
• Britney Spears went to the Sugar Factory candy store in Las Vegas this weekend and spent $3,000. She bought three Halloween baskets, two buckets of Swedish Fish, a box of milk chocolate, and 25 of her own Circus Tour lollipops for $25 a piece. [TMZ]
• Pleasant Bridgewater, the Bahamian senator who was charged with extortion over a document regarding medical treatment for Jett Travolta, may have destroyed the document in question, a Refusal of Treatment/Transportation order signed by John Travolta. [People]
• Pamela Anderson is denying that she didn't pay contractors who worked on her home because she's broke, explaining, "I'm financially secure... It is true that I am in a dispute with some of the contractors working on my home. This is because after paying millions of dollars to build the house I continue to get bills from the contractors." [People]
• She adds, "Mistakes may have been made in calculating taxes owed and we are now in the process of ensuring that any taxes owed are paid." [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian Tweeted after her sister Khloe's wedding: "Tonight was one of the best nights of my life!" [People]
• The day after Khloe's wedding Kim Kardashian supposedly took a flight to New Orleans to see Reggie Bush. "The wedding made her miss him, so she flew to see him," says a source. [E!]
• This week, Lady Gaga will be honored as Billboard's "Rising Star" as the publication's annual Women in Music event. [AP]
• Evi and Randy Quaid's former private investigator Becky Altringer says that Evi frequently used a bad credit card under the name Janet Cross. [Radar Online]
• Altringer adds, "Randy told me that none of his family will see or talk to him because of Evi... He told me that he really misses his mother and his brother Dennis, but that they are all afraid of Evi. I used to see him tear up when he'd talk about them." [Radar Online]
• Mackenzie Phillips says of her family's reaction to her incest allegations, "Don't get me wrong, I understand that my family doesn't want this played out nationally, but the people who are saying that I'm lying have known about it for such a long time. [They're] trying to discredit me in a public way to either protect the brand of The Mamas and the Papas or to protect the memory of [my father.] ... I absolutely loved my father, but he wasn't a good man. He was deeply flawed." [CBS News]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt adopted a second puppy. Nine weeks ago they got a maltipoo puppy named Dolly and they says, "We're getting Dolly's brother and naming him Inky the Ninja!" [People]
• In the audiobook of Patrick Swayze's book Time of My Life, which he narrates, he says he felt "anger, bitterness and despair" when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [People]
• Ben Lee and Ione Skye welcomed a daughter, Goldie Priya Lee, on Thursday. [People]
• First Republic Bank has put a hold on Frances Bean Cobain's $1.2 million trust fund because there's a dispute over whether Courtney Love or the Laird Norton Tyee Trustee Company has the right to access her account. Love's attorney says the band is just stalling because she and the trustee had agreed to move the money to a different bank and First Republic doesn't want to lose the account. [TMZ]
• Jaime Kennedy is claiming that a now-former assistant is responsible for the reports that he was cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Perez Hilton suggests that Kennedy himself may have called and accused "Miguel" of making the rumors up. [Perez Hilton]
• Fred Durst and wife of two months, Esther Nazarov, have split up. He announced on Twitter: "For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support." He added, "We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other." [Perez Hilton]
• Jude Law says of playing Hamlet on Broadway, "He demands such a reveal of your inner feelings and thoughts that you have to open yourself up to him and see where he takes you." [Style.com]
• Kristin Cavallari says of working on The Hills, "I pretty much do anything they have me do because I don't care... I mean, we're filming a TV show. Let's make it interesting. Let's have a good time with it."
  [L.A. Times]
• Jeremy Piven's RocknRolla co-star Ludacris is clearing up the murcury poisoning rumors once and for all. He says: "A lot of people thought he was making up the mercury poisoning thing. I'm telling you, as his friend trying to look out for him, when he was around me, he definitely OD'd on fish."
  [N.Y. Observer]

[Herts, U.K., September 22. Image via INF]